The Worst Idea Of All Time - 12: Juice

Episode Date: January 31, 2019

The boys are together and off for a walk in a bird park! Guy ponders whether juice is actually good or bad for you and claims milk is only for children (shout out to @TheBroox on Twitter). The pair explore how we got Brady The Rat King and WHO Steve cheated on Miranda with. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We just have a good rhythm together, you know, he sort of feels me out, I feel him out, and we go for it. Hello everyone, welcome along to episode 12 of The Worst Idea of All Time, season 4, in which we shotgun and occasionally leisurely sip from the drink that is Sex and the City, the movie. For the first time in a long time, Tim and I are not just side by side, but stride by stride as we walk our way through sunny Grayland on a beautiful spring's day. We've just watched this film for the 12th time. Tim, it's a pleasure to be with you.

How are you? So nice to have you here by my side and stride. Guy. Guy doesn't rhyme with those things, but it almost does. I said it in a way like it should, but it didn't quite hit it. Yeah, yeah, I know. And in doing that, it really stood out that you'd attempted and failed to make a rhyme. That's alright. Don't you love that authentic crunch of dry leave beneath foot? Oh, well, we don't have it right now, but you're probably picking it up.

It's a great day for a walk. Now, the reason we're walking is because halfway through the film, Tim turned to me and said, we're doing this episode walking because I have to. Yes. Why did you feel that way? Being in that stuffy studio, it was a situation where I thought that I would be having a lot more fun

because we're having to watch the movie by ourselves. At the moment, obviously being in different parts of God's green earth, and I thought, oh, this would be great. Guy will be there. Free hit. Fair enough. And it wasn't great at all. I didn't enjoy watching the movie. And we've actually had a little break

Recently, haven't we? Yeah, we have I mean, I can't remember what the reasoning was I've been bouncing around the place Oh, you've been tripping around I buggered off I was off the grid briefly That's right, what were you doing?

I was at a camp Yeah? It wasn't for me No, no Because we had to Okay, so let me explain this Guy and I had tethered together I was at a camp yeah it wasn't for me no no because we had okay so let me explain this Guy and I had tethered together by like

both our mics being plugged into the portable recorder which is on my hip on my belt I've got it wrapped around my belt buckle but now we're crossing a road but if Guy goes before me

oh watch stop this is going to be bad no we would have made that no no let's you know we're on the Bullock track for anyone listening in Auckland a road but if Guy goes before me this is going to be bad. No, we would have made that. We're on the Bullock track for anyone listening in Auckland. It's a pretty busy thoroughfare that sort of connects Grayland to the Western Motorway.

It's one of the steeper hills. I've seen people bomb it on skateboards. It looks pretty scary but you do not want to get clipped by one of these vehicles. It's a very narrow road and and if you make a misstep, you are fucking roasted. Yeah, man. But your boys are safely on the other side of the street now and parading down their way towards Western Springs.

I also thought that it was particularly disappointing that our company had no impact on how much the movie could be enjoyed. I thought you were particularly grumpy, can I say. Oh, really? Yeah, I've made some notes of times and moments in which you were sort of throwing your weight around. The first time that you really got upset was when Carrie was calling Samantha

to announce that she was engaged. And she was sort of ogling jewellery, perhaps. I don't know if she was looking for an engagement ring. She was in some sort of store. Yeah, she was just in a shop. And you said, what is Carrie's day? Yeah. What does a day in the life of Carrie Bradshaw actually look like?

And it's a valid question. Because, I mean, just a vapid clothes horse is parading around, spending money she doesn't deserve. You are not holding back today, and I, for one, love it. Walk me through it. What time does she wake up? What's the first thing that happens? Gary Bradshaw wakes up at...

I reckon she actually gets up quite early. I reckon she probably wakes up at 6.20 because it's trendy. And we don't see this but she's definitely I feel like she's a woman who would go to yoga or the gym, probably the gym she definitely works out, it's actually it's coming

to some scrutiny I think, I can't cite specific examples but in broader conversation, the idea of like characters or more specifically real world celebrities but in broader conversation, the idea of characters, or more specifically real-world celebrities, that person tutored so they get on the potty. You've got to love that. That's too fast.

You see them eating meals at all hours and hoeing into a calorie-loaded burger. You never see the hard-working graft that goes into maintaining that svelte Hollywood figure. Bloody hell. So it creates a false narrative whereby, you know, other people think that that's attainable or that's a normal lifestyle. But you know for sure that both Carrie Bradshaw and SJP put the fucking hours in on their body. She is cut like a snake.

She absolutely is. She must work damn hard to get there and especially because she she's what 40 you know late 40s or something when this was made early yeah yeah she was she was definitely 40s like 45 maybe when she made this movie and um look fantastic great stuff but don't shield us from the process gotta see to see the process. Absolutely. I love a Rocky-style training montage with Sarah Jessica Parker. That's what I want. I want to see her running up stairs in Philadelphia. Is there a movie that was shot?

Yeah, it is. I actually ran up those stairs. What a legend. Yeah, it was really cool. There were a lot of other people doing it at the same time. Not Carrie Bradshaw, though. Well, I didn't see her. I mean, if SJP was there, I feel like that would have been more of an event than the same time. Not Carrie Bradshaw, though. Well, I didn't see her. I mean, if SJP was there,

I feel like that would have been more of an event than the stairs themselves. But so 6.20, maybe some yoga, maybe a trip to the gym. How long is she there for? What happens afterwards? She is there for 45 minutes every morning. And she gets a juice from whatever tank is called in America.

What would it be? Joe the Juicer or something i don't know is that jamba juice is like not healthy eh it's basically just jamba juice yeah i feel like it's a bit more mcdonald's of the juice world yeah juice in general yeah is it healthy or no no certainly not like a smoothie's good for you what was the difference between a smoothie's good for you. What's the difference between a smoothie and juice? Juice is just like pulp-free water from the fruit, and it's just so loaded in sugar. And sometimes they put even more sugar in. They add sugar to that.

If I go out for breakfast and I think to myself, I'll be healthy this morning. I'll order two eggs on one piece of toast, some mushrooms and a freshly squeezed orange juice yeah am I looking after myself yeah I think on balance you are

I'm just saying there's a lot of sugar in it there's a lot of other stuff too like vitamins what if I'm not even going out for breakfast what if it's one in the afternoon I think god I'd love a juice and I go and buy leave it out

one in the afternoon you're crazy leave it out you don't need that juice what should I get instead mate do yourself right. Two glasses of milk. I'm not drinking milk.

Yes, afternoon milk. No. Milk is for children. No, it isn't. And animals. No, it's for strong men. Cold milk is for teenage boys as well, straight from the carton. Shout out.

Yum, yum. Shout out to the Bronx as well. Who's the gentleman on feet? The Bronx or the Brooks? Ah, shit. I don't know. Could you look that up? You're holding a phone.

I'm offline. Some motherfucker has been drinking a glass of milk every day for what feels like a year now. Could be. Could be. And tweeting the photo to us. He has not dropped the ball. Well, I disagree with you. He has not.

It's true. It was actually one day when he was late and he apologised and it was his goddamn own wedding and he was late by about 6 hours that's it

it's incredible I don't respect the lifestyle but I respect your commitment to the bit it's incredible I'm not going to

start drinking milk do you know that dude sending me the daily milk pictures they just like kept me on twitter like

I'd be ready. I've had dips in my Twitter live where I'm like, fuck this whole platform. That dude has kept me going. Yeah, he's... Undoubtedly. He's committed to the cause.

He's a fucking legend. So, she has a juice. This is probably why. If she's there for 45 minutes, say she wakes up at 6.20, it would take 20 minutes to get to the gym. So she works out at 6.45 to 7.30, then afterwards she goes for juice. She doesn't have a juice, though.

I think she has like a wheatgrass shot, like something that tastes gross but is good for you, something like that. Yeah, okay. That just screams Carrie Breacher at me. So 7.30 a.m., a wheatgrass shot takes less than a moment to drink, so she's free for the next while. What's happening? Blammo, it is time to jump in the shower and pick out today's outfit which is going to take a bit of time i see so i reckon that whole

process is we're looking at like an hour and a quarter i reckon of that of shower and shower dressing putting your face on getting your hair done yeah etc etc can i just say as an aside yes yes of everyone's fashion in this movie who do you think has aged the most gracefully I can't remember

when this was made maybe 2008 or earlier big fan of Samantha Jones' accoutrement in this film how about you

I was looking at a lot of what Steve's outfits were and thinking to myself I could see myself in that Steve looks like a god damn idiot

in the same way they're doing the marriage counseling that was the outfit that prompted the feeling i love the weirdest looking chicken i've ever seen yeah its face is covered in that weird sort of scrotelson that you see on rooster it is a rooster by the way is it a rooster look at this it's got wild feet as well bizarre that's a really weird looking rooster look Look, I'm going to take a photo. I think it's not too far outside the norms of what a rooster looks like. The colours are all off.

Yeah, look, you're going to see a lot of mangy. You're going to see some really tip-top birds here. And you're also going to see some mangy motherfuckers. Some dungers. Also, we're going to be striding past some pretty aggressive geese. Yeah, I'll try and get them mic'd up so they can talk to you deadlessly. But no, the outfit he wears in the marriage counselling, I think the seat is the real scene stealer in terms of ludicrousness in that scene. You put me onto this and I'm so glad you did.

The seat is absurd. But I love the wash and cut of Steve's jeans. I think that that sort of brown cashmere looking sweater over a navy plaid shirt, I liked it all. I could see myself wearing that entire ensemble. brown cashmere-looking sweater over a navy plaid shirt. I liked it all. I could see myself wearing that entire ensemble. So for you to call it ridiculous is mildly upsetting to me. I think also maybe it was too big for him. If it was like a size smaller, I think it would have been a real good look.

Okay. But it wasn't. Anyway. Looked like he was wearing his dad's clothes. Agree to disagree. Yeah, look at these birds. There's just too many of them. No, they're good. They're friends.

They don't even move when you get close. Yeah, because they've been completely tamed to humans here. And they have no respect for this footpath. They've got none. Just to fill you lot in, I mean, just the walkway on which we're standing is literally caked in defecation.

I'd say 40% goose shit, 60% asphalt. Fucking crazy amounts of... And some of these geese have dropped bombs. Yes, man. Look at that. Yeah, I saw it. It's huge. It looks like a sheep offering, leaving.

Look, anyhow... Not much of an offer, is it? All of this is getting us... Don't get sanded to it. No, no, I shan't. So, 7.30 till 8.45, she's showering, choosing an ensemble. Yep. 8.45, she's ready to go.

What's happening next? Out the door after Vogue. Oh, really? For some meetings. Even as a freelancer. You got it. She's got to go meet with Candice Burgin, who's called... Turned in a fantastic performance this week, actually.

I love that woman. She plays an anil type or not type but her role in real life is her as candace bergen's role in the movie she's the boss of vogue so she goes to a meeting yeah or two yeah the meetings can i just say at vogue uh you thought your work meetings run productive get a load of these fuck nothing gets done is carrie bradshaw respected in those meetings when she speaks to people think okay we better listen this is going to be good or do they think oh yes but here we go only because she very rarely offers anything so it's quite rare that she would open her mouth it's a real power play that's something

i've learned have you ever tried in conversation especially in one-on-one conversation if you want someone to run their mouth and keep talking you just don't you know the silences we'd usually yeah fill them out or respond you just don't say anything oh yeah it's an interview technique well I sort of learned that from the point of view of um salesmen use it they use the silence to kind of goad you into buying stuff so what what, if I'm, say, you're trying to sell me a microwave. Yeah. And I go, yeah, the one we have at home works okay, but I guess we could use it.

I see you've done it. See, people just, they want to, and they hate silence, so they'll usually fill in the blanks themselves. And it's just a natural thing that you want to, like, you know, get on with the person you're with. So if've got an agenda which is you should buy a microwave yeah yeah you like just slowly worm your way over to them i haven't lived with a microwave for six years it's so good dude it honestly doesn't make a difference it's fine you just wind up sort of cooking some of the food if you want to be hot in a pan, in a nice cast iron pan.

Or you just eat your leftovers cold. Oh, I couldn't have that. Just fucking put it in the pan then. Yeah, pan it is. Yeah, I don't like eating cold foods that can be hot, you know. Pizza. Such a massive difference, reheating a pizza to it just being cold in the fridge. I always think I'll take the pizza hot if it's fresh out of the oven,

but the next day, if there's still pizza in the fridge, I'm not opposed to a cold slice. Back in the days when I ate sausages, I used to love hoeing into a cold saucy. Weirdly, a cold saucy I'm with you on. That's crazy. But that's like a cold meat thing, right? It's like salami. You know? Just cut off a bit of Is salami ever cooked?

You have hot salami on a pizza. No, but the actual roll of salami. Is that ever cooked? I don't think so. It's a good question. I'm unfamiliar with the process of cured meat. It's not a heat thing, right? They kind of just dried out with salt.

Yeah. Right? And hung? Yeah. Is this where salami comes from? So what, you just take some loose flesh of animal. Yep, yep, yep. You put it on a hook. You turn it into a sort of baton shape.

I think, do you make... You salt it and you just put it in a dry room until you're like, yep, I reckon you can eat that now. Is salami a combo effort thing? Like, do you kind of mince up a whole bunch of meat and form that into it? No, that's like luncheon meat. Yeah, true. Which I used to love when I was a kid.

Fuck, how horrible is luncheon? Oh, it's pretty bad. It's so bad. It looks, of all the meats that humans eat, it looks the most like dog roll. Because it is, I think i think well there you go just cut even finer look at that beautiful look at that beautiful adolescent swan yeah oh that is truly prime time for a swan you reckon well you might know the fable the ugly duckling i've heard of it that's a swan but you you get to this point where they're probably what 11 or 12 and swan years

why isn't the ugly duckling a duck? Okay. We've stopped too long to look at this. Well, because that's the twist. Yeah, the parents are freaked out at us and approaching. That's what I like about these black swans here. They take no shit. I have run and wailed in fear of one of these swans before.

How recently? Not these particular two. It would be about a year. Oh, I thought you meant as a child. No, no, no. But an adolescent swan is a thing of beauty. It's got that sort of fluffy chiclet. Down?

Yeah, down. Do we call it? Yeah. Anyhow. Beautiful pelt. Two meetings at Vogue. She arrived there probably between 8.45 and 9. I'd say 45 minutes per meeting.

Yep. No, they're an hour. Nothing gets done, but they are an hour. So that means that at 11 a.m., she's had a pretty fucking productive morning. Yes. When does she start mincing around? Because to me, the place of aggression...

That's her work day done. Okay. Yeah. That's it. So from 11 a.m., boom, carry time. This is when we see her with the girls. This is when she's her with the girls. This is when she's going on her adventures.

Can you tell what are her adventures? You know, picking out next season's fashions. What do you think that is? What do you mean picking out next season's fashions? Well, she's a trendsetter. She's determining what's going to be next in vogue. So when she shops the clothes, is she looking, is she dressed like a brilliant Russian chess player? What?

Several moves ahead. Oh, yeah, okay. It's like, what do Russian chess players dress in? Mostly like tweed jackets. That's what I'm thinking. Not high fashion. We've got the same picture. But it wasn't just the idea of sort of her lazing

through the days uh you know it it was also oh i thought there was a wild zoo animal but it wasn't it was just another bird so many birds here in western i went to the zoo the other day depressing um no man they're pretty good here i think they know what's up some impressive animals in there. They've got a couple of elephants, a bunch of zebras, giraffes. They're just there. They're just... We are metres away from them.

Yeah, don't I know it, mate. They're just there. Give me some freaking credit here. We're on the outside of the zoo, everybody. So, not only were you frustrated by the idea of what Kerry's day looks like, but during the phone call, we also get a reverse shot, but we get the other half of the conversation with Samantha Jones in her LA offices. And in one of the frames we see a glimpse behind her of an en suite attached to her office space.

And that seemed to drive you wild. Yeah, it was crazy. Why's that? I was trying to do the math on that thing. You've got a toilet right there in your office suite. I guess it's just for you. Because if you've got a meeting, if you've got clients in, what, one of you's just going to nip to the bathroom

and give the full audio experience of going number ones or twos for your guest? I don't think so. That's madness. Yeah, no one really wants that. You're really on the back foot trying to negotiate a deal after they've just heard you drop a deuce, you know? Yeah. You've got catching up to do, son. I was in Golden Bay the weekend just been, which is a sort of beautiful, it's the tip of the South Island here in New Zealand.

And I was staying in a beautiful holiday home. island here in new zealand uh and i was staying in a beautiful holiday home and in an insane piece of design all so like there were sort of three master bedrooms at this place and uh should go left i think all of them had en-suites but every single en-suite instead of having a mirror between the you like, when you first go in there, it looks like there's one of those two-way mirrors. So it's like from one side it's a mirror, from the other side it's a window. Oh, yeah.

So it looked like it would be a mirror so that people in the bedroom would just see or reflect themselves on a full-wall mirror, and then people in the bathroom would be able to see into the bedroom still. But as it turns out, none of them were mirrors. They were just whole-wall windows between the bathroom and the bedroom still but as it turns out none of them were mirrors they were just whole wall windows between the bathroom and the bedroom this is a rich person thing i have stumbled into like five

star accommodation only a couple times when it's been kind of gifted to me like uh for example someone gave that to zoe and i now as our wedding. Yeah. And there's something about rich people that they love watching their house guests go to the toilet. It is weird. Well, it pretty much forced intimacy. Yep. I wouldn't even call that intimacy, though.

Intimacy is lovely. This is like... No, but intimacy is a multi-purpose word. Yeah, that's true. It accelerated the comfortability between myself and my beloved as over the weekend we grew more and more. And then eventually I would argue too comfortable

with the idea of watching each other ones in Tuesday. That's craziness. I know. No one wants to see it. You would think no one wants to see that. Keep some romance in the relationship. Man, the romance is alive. But it's also...

Then you're crossing the streams. It's all weird. You've got to keep the playground separate from the... What do they call it? Toilets? The refuse area. Oh yeah, you don't want to build a refuse centre next to a playground.

That's what I was alluding to. Is it an illusion if you just fuck up what you're saying and you are unclear? Yeah, you don't want to build a refuse centre next to a playground. This is it. That's what I was alluding to. Anyhow. Is it illusion if you just fuck up what you're saying and you are unclear? Can you claim illusion? Yeah, I think you can. You were alluding to something. I'm doing it. No, but let's go this way.

We're going to go up a big hill this way. All right. People are going to hear us pant. Good. What do you think about that? Let the people hear. Let them listen. Let them listen. Let them listen.

Let them experience it. So, can I ask you a question? Yes. This was our 12th watch, and we're going to do 52 of these. How does that make you feel? A little on edge. It's still a little surreal. It felt like such a good idea going in

And we came in hot I mean unsurprisingly You know the worm has turned somewhat Oh Here's a sneeze Is it God damn Folks

Don't you hate that feeling Imagine what Guy Montgomery looks With his little face screwed up In that pre-sneeze position It's cute Yeah I thought I looked cute But I'm sure I didn't I'm not excited by it.

I can only imagine. Like, I was being pretty aggressive towards Charlotte. As we all know, Charlotte and I don't really have a lot of time for each other. Not presently, but we'll wait till the 20s.

Yeah, yeah. But this is what I'm saying. I can't imagine that relationship growing healthier, maybe temporarily, in the way that a toxic relationship has moments of intense passion and then moments of intense

sort of dislike. And I'm not looking forward to that. I'm in a pretty good space in my life right now. And I feel like while when we started, this was one of the few regular things I had to sort of build a day or a week around. That's why you were so hot into it. Sick my fingers into. Now I sort of feel quite happy in my life, independent of having to do this.

And I feel like it's going to drag me down will I keep doing it? in spite of the fact I know it's not good for my mental health Tim? absolutely yeah this is the project so to answer your question

I feel bad I feel bad that we have to watch this movie 40 more times how do you feel? yeah I share your sentiments completely but you know there is i don't know it's it's an interesting one isn't it because we did three seasons and we went you know what put this thing out to pasture sink a bullet into it we've really wrung this out you know to the max yeah the absolute max and then we really only took, what was it, six months even?

No, no, much longer than that. How long was it? Was it a full year? Close to a full year. Took time off between drinks and, you know, we just suddenly found ourselves craving each other's company, I think, more than anything. And we don't know how to be friends outside of this podcast.

Do you think that's what this is? I think that's a big component of it. Do you think that this is the life support that maintains a connection between tim and guy yes unfortunately i do the fact we can talk openly about it suggests we could move beyond just existing through the podcast that's true we've had ample time to try it that's how emotions work though man just because you understand the kind of you know the physics of it all emotions are different they follow no rules just because we know that our friendship is trapped inside of this uh this chrysalis yeah you know there's a bad metaphor because that forms into a butterfly eventually it's perpetually trapped in this this prism that's good as a podcast and even though we

know that our friendship is locked in a jail cell called the worst idea of all time we can't break free of it uh i suppose that's right i still hold out hope now to turn back to your mood during the movie tim yeah uh during the bridal gown photo shoot which doesn't happen too long after that, you said, and I quote, this is the most self-indulgent thing I've seen in a movie. It is, yes. No regrets on that comment. Can you expand upon it, please? Sarah Jessica Parker is an executive producer

and has a lot of input with the story of these movies now. And to be in that position and just chuck a cash, cheeky 10-minute montage of you wearing beautiful dresses where there's no dialogue just seems like a massive abuse of power. And I can totally understand how Kim Cattrall and her had a big falling out because it was all this power play bullshit with SJP chucking her weight around. It's an ensemble show.

But this is what fans want to see. They want to see Carrie Bradshaw, the ultimate single gal, finally being married. They want to see her in a variety of gowns. Give me three, though. This is what I'm saying. A little restraint. Three dresses.

Not only is there no dialogue, we get the optics are SJP and various different bridal couture. And on top of that, we then get sort of wistful voiceover from her saying, and Alexander Petro. Or, you know, brands. Vivienne Westwood.

Chanel. Silly. Just to beat you over the head with how good everything's going for her. Yeah. I really, and that is still why one line stands out to me where she says, can't you feel the one. Look out for that barbed wire. Yeah, I'm all over it. That's why I really like that part is still why one line stands out to me, which is, can't you feel the one? Look out for that barbed wire, mate. Yeah, yeah, I'm all over it.

That's why I really like that part where she does say, can't you feel what I want you to feel right now? Jealous. It's one of the few moments of honesty, not even self-reflection, just like self-awareness that Carrie displays. Otherwise, it's frustrating because you're just dealing with someone who shows narcissistic tendencies and no desire to learn or even appreciate that that's what's happening. Come over here.

Oh, no. Yeah, I got you. I got away from you. Guy found another fire hydrant from which to punch me, but I got out of his arm. So a Far American list is free hit is something you do with your siblings and friends when you're a kid. If you're walking down the street, there are all these sort of yellow,

what would that be called? It is a fire fire hydrant but what's the name of it it's like a it's like a great almost but it's not a great they're in the ground over here guys and so you yankees they're not like a big thing for dogs to piss on here because we've put them in the ground yeah and they're marked by uh a yellow uh topper that saysH, standing for fire hydrant. But when you're a kid, what you do is you think it's a free hit. And so you put your foot on one, and then you can punch whoever's in arms. You have to know them, obviously, to the point that it's okay to punch them. Kids love hitting each other, eh?

We make up so many games to punch buggy. What was that one? You see a beetle and you punch. You see a mini or something and you just hit someone. I remember that one kids are crazy i've been spending a lot of time with a three-year-old recently how's that going for you it's going okay uh it's actually going really well we get along great like 80 of the time which i think is the right ratio half of me wants to delve into sort of justifying why you're hanging out with this three-year-old and the other half of me is like no fuck you guys you're not entitled to

that let's just say guys been hanging out with a three-year-old hanging out with a three-year-old and the other half of me is like no fuck you guys you're not entitled to that let's just say guy's been hanging out with a three-year-old hanging out with a three-year-old and can i say this it does like occasionally say she'll wake up very early at like maybe five she's not kidnapped i'll say that everything's on the up and up yeah everything's good at 5 a.m or even earlier and then she'll be like yep that's me i'm up here i am here comes the day and you say no no no actually it's a bit early for the day so we're going to go back to sleep and she goes no it's the day now and you go no and it's very tiring and then so sometimes what will happen is if i see other and i'm not a parent but if i see other uh adults or people hanging out with toddlers during the day,

especially early to mid-afternoon when you feel the exhaustion of the early morning, I sort of will go to them, like, give them a nod and glance, like, yeah. But often I'm not with the three-year-old at this time. So I'm just sort of ogling parents going, yeah. Anyway, I'm still figuring it all out. It's good to be in a boat with others, isn't it? Give that little nod of acknowledgement. It feels like I'm part of a community, only they can't see that.

Yeah. They just see, you know. They just see a man nodding at them. A 30-year-old childless man sort of winking and nodding at them and their children. And that's okay, too. That is okay, folks, and it's time we learned that. We'll do a good test of our fitness here as we start to puff and pant. We're on a pretty steady incline.

You've been doing a lot of the talking. I feel bad about that. No, that's okay. Grab the wheel while we get into this last bit of the uphill stoop. No, it keeps going around that little bit of bend. Shining light? Thought you'd never ask, mate. I didn't.

So my shining light to this watch is the moment where they're in mexico having dinner together the waiter comes over takes their orders and says thank you very much mrs preston and they do reaction shots from each of the four gals boom boom boom everyone gets their own shot and uh i loved it that almost i feel, is married to or tied directly to your criticism of the bridal gown scene. Where you're like, well, here's a more socialist approach to filmmaking. This is quite uphill, isn't it, this bit? Yeah, seriously uphill. Here's a more generous bit of filmmaking and driving from SJP where it's like,

well, let's give everyone an opportunity to put on their sort of comforting surprise face and be like, whoa, that's pretty tough. Yeah. Is that right? Yeah, I'd say so. Yeah, it does mirror that. Yeah. Nice. Well, if we're doing shining lights, I'll give you mine.

And we are. Because we're here. So you should. My one this week, I think it might have been yours previously, is the steward, the air hostess, who is when Samantha's flying back to New York and desperately trying to fit the last we're putting in before the plane goes into landing mode. A steward comes along and she says,

we're landing now, I have to take that from you. And Samantha tries to fucking rattle yet more pudding in her face. It's a classic comic beat, well played. And the person playing the cabin crew member is, she's phenomenal. Very funny. Yeah, I feel like, to be honest, part of the reason she was my shining light this week is, you'll remember a few years ago when we did the Sex and the City tour with the great Gillian Anthony from Time Out.

Do you want to play on that swing? Briefly. Yeah, sure. We've sort of gotten over the main part of the hill now everybody. I hope you've enjoyed our varying levels of fitness as we battle. I thought I was in good nick. I'm doing a pretty intense hike over New Year's. You're going to have to work a lot harder than that on the hike. But I thought that she was, we had a really cool tour guide. than that on the hike. But I thought that she was, we had a really cool tour guide, a woman named Elise, who... Oh, yeah.

She was great. I feel like might have been a graduate from UCB. Yeah, I think you're right. But I thought it looked like, for a second I was like, is that her? Oh, true. I thought, no, we would have remembered her saying I was actually in the first movie during the tour.

Yeah, I think she probably, yeah, she would leave that in. Now, we need to synchronise the points at which we're swinging here, Tim. Do. Yeah I think she probably, yeah she would leave that in. Now we need to synchronise the points at which we're swinging here Tim. Do we? I think so. Actually I'm having a bit of trouble with mine because I've got this thing hanging off my waist which is recording us which is quite big.

Actually these mics have quite a lot of lead. Yeah yeah we're alright. It does feel a little bit dangerous occasionally but I kind of like that. I want to see how much height we can... Oh, yeah, no, I see what you're saying. We've got enough rope for this, isn't it? So we've got to keep up with each other. Here we go.

And it's great because they're just skimming along the bark, so you're probably picking up a bit of atmos. And it's really hard to stay on topic as we swing together through this, probably about the 30th to 35th minute of the podcast. Other things that you... There was a moment where you sort of turned and you started enjoying yourself. You thought Steve very deftly avoided a fight with his beloved... Can we just talk about Brady for the rest of the...

Is that okay? Okay, I'll tell you this. Go. One thing I've noticed that Brady does in both this and the second movie, and one of the reasons maybe that he's so hell-bent on destruction, is he sort of dispassionately fucks around with his toys in the background of frame while his mother's out lunching with her pals and i don't want to go so far it's not my place to call anyone a neglectful parent but maybe if miranda spent a little bit more time with their toddler or you know uh what

is adolescence for a toddler her child child. Yeah, child. When does a toddler become a child? I guess when it stops toddling. When it walks confidently. It gets a good confident walk on. Well, I think a toddler can walk confidently. I feel like it's when they can run and not look fucking gammy. Have you ever watched a toddler run? Yeah, I have.

It's delightful. Because they haven't figured out how to stop, but they also haven't figured out there's a need for it. It's also quite stressful, though, because their heads are so heavy, there's no guarantee that they're going to be able to maintain their balance the whole time. I can't believe that you've had limited exposure to a three-year-old and now feel you're entitled to dull out parental advice to Miranda. It's less from my experience of hanging out with a three-year-old

and more from my experience of watching Sex and the City 2 over 52 times and Sex and the City, the movie, 12 times. Yeah, that's fair. But I don't know, I just feel like in seeing that, you know. You reckon that's the birth of Brady? He's like Batman. Yeah, I just think that that's an example of Brady having more time on his hands than he knows what to do with and sort of dreaming up crazy things. And then also you can imagine him taking some of those ideas to Miranda.

Steve does appear to be more key to him as a parent. I mean, my love for Steve is well known. And her sort of going, you know, like if you're not really listening and you just sort of agree with whatever's being said, and sometimes you don't know what you've agreed to. You think that's Miranda? I think that's what miranda does to brady i think she actually accidentally yes ands a lot of his uh slightly more questionable or conniving ideas as a young and then that's part of how he graduates to being uh the rat obsessed overlord who he who we all know he grows up to be but i think that uh he gains an age gains age. We're both saying that. He gets to be about seven or eight,

and he becomes aware that his mum's doing it, not really listening to what he's saying. And then it becomes a dynamic where he's just craving attention, that he wishes she would actually listen to what he's saying. He starts pushing the boat out a little more. So he starts kicking the boat out big time. And that's how we sort of see the rise of of brady you know it's like batman but it's ratman because he's into rats well batman actually wasn't into bats but then he overcomes

the fear famously into bats do you think rat ratman was also afraid of rats and then grew to love them and identify with them sort of built of his superpowers around the things that a bat or rat can do. Hard to say, isn't it? I think Brady's too brave for that, actually. I don't think his origin story was forged in the fires of fear, like Bruce Wayne's. I think he saw rats and it was more of an empathy and a kinship. Because he was like, here are these looked down upon creatures uh like me not being cared for um their needs are not being met and what what they do is they band together and they

have community fellowship i crave that i will become like the rat. I will lead them. And this is how we get Brady the Rat King. Do you, I feel like, I don't know, I mean the thing is. Teach one rat, rat will teach the rest of the rats. Teach a man to fish, he's got some fish for a little bit but they're dead. Teach a rat how to teach infinite rats for you to keep. Teach a rat how to teach infinite rats for you to keep. Teach a rat how to teach infinite rats for you to keep. It should be on a T-shirt or at least a T-towel. Now, this is something I've noticed is sort of a recurring habit.

I want to say motif, but that's not right. But something that has happened in all of the movies we've done this with is you gravitate towards those you get to spend less time with. Yeah. Now when you say you, do you mean one or Tim? One gravitates. One gravitates.

And that's because the more time you spend with the lead characters, the more holes you can pick in their personalities, the more frustrated you become by them repeating the same mistakes over and over, the angrier you get at their various different personality traits. Those who you don't see as much you get to project light and hope and sort of all the things you'd like to see in characters onto those

people and i'm starting to think maybe that's part of why i like steve so much because in my mind steve is quite a doting and caring father him and brady share a very healthy and strong bond and relationship but truth be told we barely get to see any of that unfold. The only moment of action between Steve and Brady in terms of one-on-one parenting is Steve picking up Brady the night of New Year's Eve to spend the night with him. Beyond that, we literally... That is that, isn't it? He calls him B-Boy, which is quite a cute nickname, and it sort of suggests a kinship.

But otherwise, we don't know. So in my mind, I'm thinking, well, I't understand why brady would be such an irate little shit who's obsessed with rats if he's got a really powerful parental figure and his dad even if i think that maybe miranda's not doing the best job but maybe steve's dropping the ball as well maybe he's not having a great time at dad's house either we just don't know it's a classic fun dad thing isn't it he's just he's tripped into one tiny portion of the movie being a fun guy and we're like oh he's a classic fun dad thing isn't it he's just he's tripped into one tiny portion of the movie being a fun guy and we're like oh great dad we just saw him for fucking 30 seconds yeah because then when they leave the house you sort of hear and adr is also a real fucking superstar

in this movie some of the best stuff comes in adr if you haven't tuned in for a while adr stands for additional dialogue recording it's when they tape voices onto the movie separately, like after the fact, because they have a look at the footage and they go, ah, you know what would be good? If we got some little vocal recording of Harry saying... It just helps provide context and atmos. Nothing better after dinner than an illegal Cuban cigar.

One of my favourites. But when Steve picks up Brady from Miranda's house and they go down the stairs as they head back to their place, you hear him say, you know what we're going to do're gonna do we're gonna and it's sort of muffled but if I'm not mistaken the audio I heard this week was start a fire love it and now while if Brady likes fire there's an example of good supportive parenting you've also got a thing I don't know if you should be encouraging arson in a five-year-old yeah you can't spell arson without son brings a father and a boy together guy learning how to light fires and run away and get away with it you know i mean the way i've seen the world tim it's always been

you either live long enough to see a big fire yes or you start a big fire yourself yeah that's it what do you want to be in this life do you want to be the fucking idiot who finds in a big fire? Yes. Or you start a big fire yourself? Yeah, that's it. What do you want to be in this life? Do you want to be the fucking idiot who finds a big fire to the cops? Or the guy who starts it and runs away? Possibly both. Some people start a big fire, then they call the police and they say, Hey, there's a big fire. There's a big fire.

They don't take responsibility. They just observe the fact of life. Some of them say, Hey, I started a big fire. The cops go, what's your name? They go, wouldn't you like to know? And those people are the volunteer fire service bored out of their skulls, constantly lighting fires. Honestly, I'm not taking that back.

That's true. That is a pretty weighty accusation. Yeah, never trust a volunteer If there are any volunteer firefighters Listening along right now, please feel free To find us at our worst idea of all time Facebook page and communicate your Outrage or support for Tim's outlandish claims

I'm not taking this back I might later, but in the moment, no I'm standing by it I want you to go a step further, I want to say you will never walk back your claim I will never retract my stated belief which I believe with every fibre of my body that the volunteer fire service

are arsons to a one I like it Why else would you do it? Probably to be super helpful Yeah because it's like it's a great way to get a little bit more out of your life without having to commit to the full-time, you know, trials and tribulations of working as a firefighter. Some people might want to be full-time firefighters, but for whatever reason they don't qualify.

It's quite a high bar you have to clear to become a firefighter. Do you know that? Well, it also becomes your job. Yeah. These people might want to do other things vocationally, but want to light fires in their spare time. That's when you become a volunteer firefighter. Do you think there's anyone in the fire service who was? Like, you know how sometimes... Reform Darsons?

Yeah. Is that the question? Yeah, I do. Don't reform criminals make good detectives or cops? I don't know. I haven't heard that. I reckon they would. Because they understand the mind of a criminal.

To catch the criminal, one must become the criminal. Yeah. They've already done it. So, in a way, juvenile crooks are just aspiring detectives. They're putting in the legwork young. Okay. The hard yakka, the mahi you could frame it that way

I have and you have, put that on a t-shirt release all juvenile delinquents right now and you watch them blossom into helpful and supportive, upstanding members of society plus if we brought back the

Police Academy movie franchise, that would make for a stunning sequel, reboot. With just... Just juvenile delinquents, and they've opened up a police academy just to train them up on this notion that child offenders are, like, the best up-and-coming detectives. That is actually not a terrible idea

isn't it? I can't tell ideas are interesting like that because sometimes they'll be so good that they will track to terrible and sometimes they'll be so terrible they'll track to good but often they just give the illusion of doing that without

crossing the line this feels like a terrible one that parades as good, but isn't. No, I think it might actually be good. Now, look, we're probably going to run out of time shortly, and there's a little bit of stuff I want to talk about still. Something we've never speculated about before, even though we've taken it as a truth across two seasons of the podcast now truth who is who is steve bonzing who does he cheat on miranda with we have no idea

what do you reckon it could be samantha no i i think no matter how powerful her sex drive also samantha very proudly hasn't cheated on her relationship with Smith Jarrett. That's true. Do you reckon it's Smith Jarrett? See, now you're asking a more interesting question. We do not know the gender of the participant. And Steve, as I can attest, is a potent

and attractive person to both genders. Someone's missing a chook named Drip Drip. Reward 12 eggs. That's funny. It's an ambitious reward. I mean, if someone finds the chick... Do the math, people. Yeah, you just keep the chick.

It's infinite eggs. Use your fucking head, people. Good God. Anyway, sorry. I interrupted you. I got an urban chick on the loose. So we've got Steve having sex with... Hold on. Steve having sex with...

We're crossing a road again. They're giving us the wave. Steve having sex with... Smith Jarrett? Someone. Maybe Smith Jarrett. Smith Jarrett does work a lot of late nights. He's often absent in his relationship from Samantha.

She gets frustrated by that. He sort of puts on the good guy front. As Steve Brady does himself, we see Steve and Smith together at the rehearsal dinner when Steve comes to apologise to Miranda. He's outside enjoying an illegal Cuban cigar with Harry and Big. I'm starting to think

to myself, is this plausible? Does Steve run off to fuck Smith Jarrett? Because Smith Jarrett is also having trouble in his relationship with Samantha. He feels she's disengaged. We know that she's struggling with happiness because she's a more self... Openly, which almost qualifies the behaviour, but she's more self-centred than some of the other people in the movie. I think this thing has legs.

Yeah, are you going to entertain the notion? I want to believe it too because I think this thing has legs. Yeah, you're going to entertain the notion. I want to believe it too because I think, well, it's horrible people being unfaithful in their relationship. But I think those two dudes would have a lot of fun together. I think they would have a lot of laughs.

And also, I mean, I don't know what Steve does. I think at some point in the series he might have opened a bar. But Steve seems pretty comfortable as a sort of stay-at-home dad as a partner whose responsibility is more to do with uh you know supporting the breadwinner if you will as miranda is framed to be in their marriage yeah smithrett, he is a breadwinner. He's an international superstar. I see.

The dynamic of the relationship works as well. Even though they both sort of go back to their partners after their tryst, it seems to me that I could see where the attraction comes from,

their mutual frustration in their current relationships, the sexual chemistry. I mean, we don't see anything on camera, but I wouldn't mind seeing a little bit of that action. This thing holds water, Tim.

Cool. I like this. I would like to press forward with the knowledge from here on in, it's canon now in Sex and the City, that the tryst, let it be known, is between Smith Jarrett and Steve, mayor of New York City, seller of Dictionary. It's the plural of dictionary.

Well, you learn something every time you listen to an episode of the podcast. We are actually winding down to the end now. Both of this episode and our walk, a perfectly paced stroll through Western Springs. It's good, eh? It's a good time. So, look, anything else else i don't want to leave anything on the cutting room floor here mainly because i don't need it these but uh i understand that uh i'm just having a quick let me say this just while you look that up it is it's it's wonderful to have your physical presence here guy oh thank you i love it it's great oh okay Just a few quick other things about your mood and how grumpy you became watching the movie today.

I did write your CNI italics here. Tim is, in all caps, very grumpy today, everybody. Emphasis on the very. The meat in a sandwich above which I've written, you play poker right, and you've said this is the worst analogy I've ever heard. It is. If you up the ante, that would remove players. Yeah, because they're talking about the guest list ballooning out at the wedding,

and Carrie, by way of explanation to Big, she's trying to put it in terms he'll understand, because he is unawares that it's gotten so big. He said there were 75 people coming. Carrie's talking about 200 guests now. And she says, listen, you play poker, right? He says, yes. She says, the dress, it's the dress.

The dress upped the ante. Fucking no. If you up the ante, that doesn't draw more players to the table. You kick players out of the current round if you up the ante. She's trying to suggest it's increased the intensity. But you still think it's...

Well, yeah, but they're talking about number of participants, right? They're talking about number of guests coming. Surely that would be the analogy for players. So what was the analogy you volunteered in its place? It was bad. I can't remember it, but it was flawed. It's a beehive. A beehive.

You got a few bees there, but you add some of your own honey, you put that there, you get more bees. Now, is it a good analogy? No. But that's why we do rewrites on scripts. The first idea isn't going to be the winner every time. The other thing that got you angry, and this is something I actually disagree with you on, was you said this about Big.

He kisses her, Ben Carey, he kisses her on the nose three times in this film, and it's disgusting every time I see it. He kisses her on the nose. I hate it. He, like, French kisses her nose. This is something where I haven't noticed the French kiss element, but I remember...

Just getting the mail. In Sex and the City 2, there's a moment where Carrie has a little bit of osso bucco on her mouth, and he gets it off her by sort of kissing her. Yeah. And you were really disgusted by that. You thought that was one of the most disgusting things

you've ever seen. I didn't specifically mind it. Yes, it was cute. I feel like this is a... I don't think I thought it was... You did. You were viscerally disgusted. I remember it because I was like,

am I weird? That's great. While we lock the back door... Oh, did we leave that open? It would seem we left the front door wide open. Someone's car is here, so I figured, oh, fuck it. That was there on the way out.

Well, it looks like we haven't been robbed, so... Well done, everybody. And the kissing on the nose thing thing I don't mind that either yeah you're more I'm going to kiss you on the nose right now don't

please don't I don't want it don't need it I think you would quite like it just try it in the name of science

it's going to happen now so I just want it done so just do it like ripping off a bandaid oh I didn't like that i had to close my eyes and everything shut your eyes and imagine i'm your wife no fair enough we've done this i think that's a pretty good place to end the episode hey thanks for joining us everyone guy it's uh i mean you took the edge off it just now but it is genuinely great to to burn your your presence um Great that you're here. Likewise, I picked this for you. It's lavender.

Wait. Yeah? It's a fresh bit of lavender. Lavender. Not so good with the flowers. And we'll catch all of you groovy cats on the next episode of this podcast, which is called The Worst Idea of All Time. Season number four, Sex and the City.

Verily, we plow ahead. All right, everyone, stay safe. We just have a good rhythm together, you know. He sort of feels me out, I feel him out. And we go for it.