The Worst Idea Of All Time - 14: Bum Chin Club

Episode Date: February 7, 2019

Spirits are phenomenally low in this watch (which comes less than a day after the prior viewing) and Tim is desperately trying to find the least intrusive way to fit this project into his life. Meanwhile, Guy is in Goa, India, surrounded by cows. Some of them, ejaculating. We welcome two members to the BCC (Bum Chin Club) and ask (but not answer the question)L How exactly do you market a podcast? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We just have a good rhythm together, you know, he sort of feels me out, I feel him out, and we go for it. Hello and welcome to the worst idea of all time, episode 14 in the secret fourth Sex and the City season. I've got to stop calling it secret though because it's out now. Hi Guy! By the time anyone's listening to him, the cat will be well and truly out of the bag, except for the hordes of people who choose not to engage with this product, to whom it will always remain a secret. Hiya, Tim.

Let's talk about those people. For the unafflicted, those who have not experienced or brushed up against the worst idea of all time, I salute you. I think your life is probably poorer for it. I think, much like the gospel, people who invite worst idea into their lives, it's really up to all of us to spread the good word,

to let everyone else know how nice it is to be inside the cocoon. There is nothing in the 21st century that I take more seriously than a podcast recommendation from literally anybody. Yeah. They are truly... There actually is no equivalent. I was trying to... I mean, at least when people give you recommendations

for a Netflix show, it's like, well, this probably cost a lot of money and involved a lot of professionals putting time into it and then had to be accepted by a very expensive digital platform. So there's a lot of gatekeepers to make sure that the product was good hey you should listen to this podcast it's funny it's these guys having a fucking yarn about shit it's real good they're so funny fuck they're funny fuck off hey you are um yeah if you if if you recommend your your podcast or a podcast to people and expect them to take it seriously, you are a psychopath.

So how does one market a podcast then? It's impossible, man. Just let it run its course. It's so true. Yeah, like a virus. This podcast is currently centered around us watching and discussing Sex and the City, the movie. Now, due to internet and time sort of constraints, we both watched the movie, I would say roughly 12 hours, no, more for me, like 16 hours ago. I actually woke up and watched the movie first thing this morning

I woke up to watch the movie first thing this morning in Goa which is a district of India and in the course of watching it as we tried to organise the logistics I discovered that we wouldn't be able to record until much later until midnight here in India

which is what it is now it's 10 past 12 a.m. What's the time where you are, Tim? Right now it's 7.40 a.m. That's quite a big time difference. And did you... Was Sex and the City the last thing you did yesterday? No, you're actually right.

And I said it was less than 12 hours. You're absolutely right. It was more... It was less than 12 hours you're absolutely right it was more uh it was like whack bang in the middle of the day for me which just it's all bad hey i tell you what i reckon they're all bad times that midday screening though it's not to be trifled with it's on this on the scale of um times to watch the movie you know you at least feel like you get a morning and also an afternoon and evening to yourself it is gross to have this protruding lump of cinema you know this ab this abscess uh in the middle but it could be worse i think first thing is a nightmare i think

the like i think i've said it before i say, I think taking it into the bedroom is bad for your mental health. Yeah. It's unavoidable oftentimes because with the New York, New Zealand time zones, it'll have to be the last thing I do. Also, I'm not a good sleeper guy. I never have been, really. So in some ways, I actually don't mind um taking it to bed and just sort of

drifting off to another outing with carrie and the girls and it really feels like it's not impeding any important bits of my day then as well yeah so i'm not i'm not uh i'm i probably prefer the last thing in the day i prefer to get my day done, feel good about myself, and then sully my marital bed with Sex and the City from 2008. That's interesting. Coming in at a crisp two and a half hours. Today I've sort of bookended the entire day.

I watched it this morning. As soon as I knew that I wouldn't be discussing it until later tonight, I thought, well, I could stop now and just, you know, put it off. And it is something that, you know, it's like homework when you're a student and you're just like, ugh. Some of your mates are like, they go home,

they do it first thing so they can enjoy the whole night. That was not my approach. But I was like, if I just watch it now now then i don't have anything to worry about until midnight when i can discuss this but it does mean that i have started and ended my day with intense uh sort of dissection and relation to sex in the city and you'd be unsurprised to hear, Tim, it doesn't get any better. If anything, it gets worse. Have you just been mulling it all day, rolling around in your brain? No, no, no.

I sort of, you know, I went out for a lovely meal, so that took my mind off it, and, you know, I've filled out the day with other, you know, I've been for a swim in the ocean, Tim. That's so nice, bro. I've been keeping the company of about 30 cows. I watched, I saw a cow ejaculate today, Tim. It's not been a waste.

Well, let me stop you there because surely that's a bull at that point. That's right. It's not been a wasted day. This bull's penis was a lot leaner than I thought. Yeah, run me through that. What was the circumstance in which you saw it? How was it all happening? I think it's high season for the cows here in Goa.

And so essentially there's sort of a feeding time around between 5 and 6 p.m. where the local cows, they all sort of hang out on the beach and a big bunch of food gets put cows, they all sort of hang out on the beach, and a big bunch of food gets put out, and they all sort of approach it. And one of the bulls, as, you know, so often happens to the lads, simultaneously hungry and horny. And so he eats first.

He's sort of, he's digesting. And his prospective mate's still got a mouthful of hay or whatever the hell they're eating and he sort of just sidles on over and uh goes to make himself felt uh you know and the the the dance of romance between cow and bull is in a lot of ways quite unique from the way humans sort of size one another up. In other ways, very similar. But rest assured, fleeting and unenthusiastic sexual engagement transpired and he wound up, he used the pull-out technique, this bull. Ah.

That's pretty clever for him, isn't it? I don't think it was his call. Okay. But anyway, much thinner penis than I thought. Sort of a long, thin genital. Like a rod. A long, thin genital, that's right. But all that to say, you know, this has not been the sole event of my day.

Well, I don't know. In some ways it has because you're still talking about sex that happened in a city. So it all comes back to it, doesn't it? It's more of a resort. But, yeah, I mean, I'm talking about sex. To the movie? What do you reckon? To the film.

To the floor. I've got a theory guy yeah you're ready for it so i created something in this watch called the bum chin club or the bcc and the bum chin club is inhabited by two men uh crud i am devastated to report I've forgotten one of their names it's the guy who makes the asshole comments while Samantha's speaking at the engagement dinner what's his fucking name does he get given a name

he's an asshole boss isn't he he's a partner at the firm but I thought they did give him a name hey also while I'm here let's bookmark this for a second this was quite a few episodes ago or at least a long time ago because we had a bit of a break um between episodes like 11 and 12 or something we had a debate about whether or not will's name was said in the movie it fucking is man i can't remember the exact conversation we had but i remember this i'm pretty sure i was right yeah i think you you were

you were right and that i remember being firmly in the the name's not said camp your suggestion was that it came up i think like only once very late in the film when they when they actually are about to get married or something like that. But we hear it much earlier. Will, that's his name. I think that's a line of dialogue at the bar between Carrie and her. Hey, look, I'm happy for you, man. As happy as I am for these mosquitoes who are crawling all over me. I'm just doing the research to try and find out the name of the... Is India a Zika country?

Pardon? Can you get Zika, the Zika virus? Is it one of the ones on the list for Zika? I'm not sure about Zika. Certainly, I took some anti-malarials for a while, but that was near Kolkata, which is the malaria zone. And they didn't really agree with me, so I've gone off them. Which does make the sort of surrounding and

increased enthusiasm that these mosquitoes have towards my body ever so slightly more concerning than it otherwise would be i'm used to mosquitoes being an annoyance and i i have a um a particular sensitivity to mosquitoes i hate them I hate them vehemently. I hope that Bill Gates and his quest to, number one, turn us all into big fat nerds, which he achieved by making an operating system that sort of housed a lot of creative enterprise, which allowed even normal people to just spend countless hours. Thank you, Carl.

Countless hours at the computer. But his second mission in life is to destroy all the mosquitoes and i applaud that mission i hope he achieves it uh yeah pretty much i think he hates them pretty sure i feel like smith garrett how annoying for how annoying they are they must serve some vital you know role in the system they must be like because they're so numerous they must be food for something important right like lizards and spiders and i think mosquitoes are one of the ones that they're considering harvesting for food like for humans because um there's a lot of insects that are incredibly efficient at just being like protein. Way more efficient than, say, cows.

Affirmation land beasts. That's right. Anyway, that's all by the by. We've got Carl and we've got Smith Jarrod. And what are they? They're in the BCC. They're in the Bumchin. Yeah, BCC.

The BCC boys. They're in the BCC. They're in the Bum Chin. Yeah, BCC. The BCC boys. They're in the Bum Chin Club and I've actually, yeah, so if you look, they've got that same beautiful chin that looks like a very shapely human

ass. A butt. They've got bum chins. And I reckon that Smith Garrett is, sorry, I'll say that again. I think that Smith Garrett is the son of Carl.

Hmm. And I think that that's how Smith Garrett has been able to stick with his goal of acting for as long as he has. And I also think it's why, like, Samantha, I don't think, knows this. Right? But she senses it. It's why Samantha, I don't think, knows this, right? But she senses it, which is why she tells him to shut the fuck up at that engagement dinner at the drop of a hat because she's like, this guy is familiar to me.

I feel a familiarity. So I'm going to tell him he's out of line. So obviously, I'm just curious about a few details of this theory, Tim. You always are. Smith's relationship with his father. Yeah. How's that going? Not well.

I don't think they see eye to eye at all. I think that it's a situation where Carl has so much money from being a partner at this firm that he's felt obligated to keep his son afloat, but he in no way emotionally supports the decisions that Smith's made to pursue and stay in acting. And at this point, it's kind of an annoyance for him. So he's embarrassed.

Samantha's not been introduced to Smith. Smith's dad, sorry. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think they've been introduced And I don't think Big knows It's actually like very few people know about this relationship Because, you know, when Carrie says Who is that guy?

Big says It's Carly's partner at the firm Not, that's Carly's Smith, get it? Father Well, yeah I i mean big is thinking purely in terms of his relation to the guy right smith's at the dinner yeah he is and they're just playing it icy cool yeah this is like i think there's been a phone call

from smith i think initiated it look dad we're both going to be there we're adults let's just get through it we don't need to cause a scene little do they know steve is going to cause the scene which leads me to my shining light just 15 minutes into this episode steve's very good depressed acting as he exits the cab is my shining light this episode it's very good acting he looks so downtrodden as he gets out of the car to have a chat to miranda yeah from the moment you see him on screen he doesn't switch it on he's there he's in the moment he's a good actor um i like i like that little moment i saw a few glimpses of good acting this morning in spite of not wanting to be there uh people continue to perform you know like a child humoring a mother who's enthusiastic about

musicals i bought the ticket I sat down in the seat and I did my due diligence. I thought, funnily enough, Miranda was turning I mean, I've always got a soft spot for her, but was turning in a few little glimpses of magic. I just want to quickly circle back to this cleft chin thing, Tim. Yeah. Is it possible

there's just two people who have bum chins who aren't related? No. Okay. Well, it's good to know that it's firm information now that's canon. I look forward to dissecting that more as the story unravels. It does create quite a spicy social situation at that dinner,

considering that we now know. I mean, for how much is going on with smith jarrett at that point in the film doesn't he keep it together incredibly well here he is in a room with his estranged father who continues to bankroll his acting career although i'd probably say standing on his own two legs by this point in his career yeah he's sitting at a table across from his partner samantha who is the maid of honor at carrie's wedding also at a table across from his partner, Samantha, who is the maid of honour at Carrie's wedding. Also at the table is Miranda, a woman who has recently left her life partner

and the father of her son because of a tryst between Smith and her former partner, who also will be arriving at some point and making direct eye contact and verbal communication with Smith outside the venue. He doesn't know that at this point, though, so he can't anticipate that. He doesn't know that his ex-lover is coming

in one of those big, beautiful cabs. Ex-potentially current. I just think, you know, for having all of that stuff going on, like, he keeps it together incredibly well. I've always got respect for people who seem to be able to hold their head high in socially awkward or uncomfortable situations. So, shout out to the boy Smith for keeping his shit together in spite of circumstances conspiring against him this week.

Speaking of those cabs, Tim, I don't know if you've heard, against him this week speak of those cabs tim i don't know if you've heard uh there's a a man and a woman who uh walking through frame as steve arrives and turns on that fantastic acting display and he's not the only person looking to steal that scene because the woman sees the cab this is a woman with an american accent presumably who lives in New York and says, oh my God, it's a cab with a level of surprise that would suggest... What is that about? She's come across this fairly common occurrence in her storied life as a New Yorker.

What is that about? That's a bad line of dialogue. Well, it's also one of those ones where you don't see a mouth move, so they could have just edited it out, but they've left it in. I mean, I feel like that would be a really fun person to check out New York with. Oh, my God, a hot dog stand. Oh, my God, a building. Oh, my God, people.

Every single day. There's something that's instantly gratifying, but eventually super annoying. Sort of. That level of enthusiasm for everything you encounter. A fire hydrant, fuck! Someone who is a goldfish who's accidentally been turned into a human

and has retained the nouns for which things are, but none of the information that they've seen them before. So her whole life in the bowl, she's just been swimming around, glimpsing images of New York on a computer screen or through a window or on TV. And finally, I'm with the ability to articulate certain things. Move out of my way.

I'm a little fish and I live in a bowl. Can I just quickly divulge it, it's not relevant Tim but it is about fish yep I play in a fantasy football league American football fucking congrats, thanks bro

I get a lot of professional and personal interest from a lot of different people because of this detail of my life but this season to spice things up and motivate people to win, even if their season's gone down the tubes, we've introduced something called the Ranfurly Fish, which is a...

It's called the Fish Bowl. And so at the start of the season, the newest member of the league was the holder of the fish, and you don't want to have the fish. And every week, if they play a home game, as deemed by the way the schedule unfurls, the fish is up for grabs. And if you lose the fish bowl,

then you become the holder of the Ranfelli fish, which involves posting various different images of fish on social media. Ah. And if you retain the fish through the end of the season, an honor that I currently have, at season's end, you have to buy and care for a real-life fish. Oh, no.

This is incompatible with your life. Intervening seven months between the end of the season you're a fucking goer right now you moved to new york city from auckland new zealand this isn't suited to your particular lifestyle mate all that to say if i can find some sort of shaman or wizard or witch who can turn the fish i inevitably will wind up buying into a person, perhaps some sort of caretaker in my apartment, all of my problems could be solved. No, not at all,

because then you're dealing with a human which has far more needs than a fish. But a human whose top level of intelligence is that of a smart goldfish. That is such a far bigger nightmare than i think you're giving credit for i mean a goldfish you're gonna need to feed it once in a while you're gonna need to clean the tank done a human you kidding me social emotional needs you could get a bed for that thing i don't know a ton of food she was out and about in new york city this morning it looked

like she was having a wonderful time being surprised and startled by literally the most commonplace things um do you think you're going to wind up with this fish guy is the season blowing out for you yeah look it's it's looking more likely than not that i will be in possession of an unwanted fish at the end of the season. I would say it's a league of 12 people. I would say it is comfortably the least convenient for me. Yeah. What would you put your odds at of winding up with the fish? Remarkably high. At this point, it feels like a near certainty.

Anyway, that's all just a minor insert. and near certainty. Anyway, that's all just a minor insert. Stop writing off your good, good content as being beside the point, guy. I think it's time that you realize it is the point. All of these little asides, this is the meat. Stop degrading them. Stop devaluing them.

Roll with it. Celebrate yourself. Did you say degrading? Yeah, I did. I i did i'll own that um okay well seeing as you've shared a shining light i feel like it would only be fair if i did the same thing yeah boy um oh sorry before you do though just while i remember the whole smith garrett thing sorry smith garrett around how you were saying he's really keeping it together in trying circumstances i think the one glimpse we have that he's under a lot of stress is how he holds the cigar while he's outside because if you look at everyone else who's hanging out with

runkle and his illegal cuban cigars that he loves so much they're all holding them like normally but smith garrett's trying to do the arnie one where you like put it under the crook of your index finger and he just looks like a fucking idiot it's like i respect the look you're going for my dude but you haven't quite had it it's kind of like the hat he wears later on in the movie when they break up i think he carries the hat wouldn't wear it myself but i feel like the guy pulls it off. I know exactly what you're talking about with the cigar, though. I just thought that was, you know, he was with an older generation trying to fit in.

It could be multiple things. But my shining light's near the end of the film. It's actually one of the last beats. It's right after Carrie and Big get married. And he says it's a shame the girls couldn't be here. Spoiler alert, everyone. She says, no, it's fine. And then he goes, well, that's why I asked them.

And she does a very cute scream. He blows open the double doors, and there they are, Charlotte, Samantha, Miranda, all sort of excitedly screaming that things worked out. In spite of the jelting, they've found one another. They're happy. And Big does this reveal as a point of pride in his planning and execution as a recently minted husband.

A very cute and proud thing with his tongue. Oh, that's cute, isn't it? He puts it between his teeth like he can't contain or effectively express how happy he is to see him making his partner this happy and both

in the acting by Chris Noweth and the scripting and just that little moment of happiness, that little beat in the story I really liked it and yeah I mean to the credit of the movie scripting and just that little moment of happiness, that little beat in the story. I really liked it. And yeah, I mean, to the credit of the movie, there's twice in the last two screenings where I've felt sort of a pang of positivity

or hope or something near the end of the film, which is usually a time reserved for the deaths of misery. So just, you know, create it where it's true. It is a beautiful moment. It is nice, and he displays it well. It's cute. It's not infuriating. I'm actually hoping to capture some of that Reverend Chris North magic soon as well

for my wife. I'm trying to throw her a surprise birthday party. Cause her birthday is very early into the new year. So she always gets shafted out of an actual birthday cause everyone's, you know, out of town or if they're in town coming down from pingers. Yeah. So what I thought this year, try and get get uh all your mates together

at our place about a week after or so i'm also giving some uh strong consideration to um getting her a particular present that's going to be it's going to have inherently a lot of responsibility to it so um it's a dog guy i'm thinking of getting her a dog what do you think about that a huge undertaking tim yeah if i decide against it now it's probably bad to um solidify this on a recording of the podcast but you know it's early my defenses are down what do you reckon about getting getting someone a dog as a surprise because on the one hand i know she'll fucking love it but on the other hand it's like hey here's a thing you have to look after for till it dies happy birthday i think your outlook is immediately off there

it's the thing that you both we have to look after right yeah yeah undoubtedly yeah um hey look man you've got a lot more intel on that situation than I do I think it's fucking crazy to be giving people Surprise dogs Here's a surprise that will last At least 10 years Yeah You've seen her around dogs though She goes wild for the things

We've got friends who have given Surprise dogs before and I think that's worked out I mean look it's a judgement call Tim and this feels like neither the time nor the place no this feels exactly the place to to flesh this out i'm gonna do it after this talk with you you're gonna steal me with no confidence but i've yeah yeah i reckon i will actually i think i will that's sweet i'm very excited and happy for you by the time you hear this i could be a dog man man yeah yeah um speaking of dogs and animals yeah and also mr big there's another moment i quite enjoyed not quite to the point of a shining light but uh the reunion between carrie and big and the wardrobe where immediately she says it was love you know and they run towards

each other I'll be interested for your take on this because we often disagree over the showings of intimacy between Big and Carrie I just don't like people kissing people on the nose with an open mouth it fucking weirds me out that's all that's my soul issue

they sort of immediately graduate beyond like the open mouth enthusiasm of you know lovers reunited and that sort of kiss and go for a slightly more animalistic kind of face grazing thing where they rub their faces against each other like like animals I guess do you see

that as animalistic that is the last adjective I'd use to describe that I think it's very tender they kind of rub their cheeks together yeah I think that's like what big cats rub their cheeks together. Yeah, I think that's to me like what big cats do. That's what animals do to each other. I guess you're right. It is literally animalistic,

but when someone says animalistic, I always think of a lot of aggression, a lot of aggressive sexual energy, whereas that's quite a moment of tenderness, I think. Yeah, I love that. I much prefer watching them do that. That feels so sincere and real to me as opposed to like, you know,

because I feel like the amount of pent-up excitement and energy they have for each other, you can't communicate that with an open-mouthed kiss in that moment because it's just too, you've got to be more relaxed to enjoy the kiss. This is a much more like base level evolutionary thing where it's like you just want that skin on skin contact do you think it's better or worse than just opening your mouth and inserting someone's nose in there in terms of sweetness

yeah like we're talking about two different sort of events but i think it's comfortably better i mean well both displays guy well no they're both on the table for this couple, apparently. Firmly against the nose kisses as you are. That doesn't mean to say that it's a go-to thing that I enjoy. It just doesn't bother me like it bothers you. It sure does bother me. Hey, well, nice. So not a shining light, but more of a glowing beam.

Yeah, that's right i finally found a fucking continuity error in this film it only took what are we up to about 14 viewings yeah one hour six minutes in they're in the hotel and the mexican uh they're in the restaurant downstairs carrie's finally come out of her mexicoma and decided that she can join the girls for a dinner and uh i think the mariachi band are just about to come in and the waiter is serving all the gals their drinks he's got a bunch of margaritas and a what looks to me like a smart water i'm not actually sure of the brand but i think it is judging by the blurry label i think it's the same design as smart water that you get and on the bottled water it clearly doesn't have a bottle cap on it but

then we cut to charlotte taking the cap off the water and i saw that and i rewound it i said hold on let's let's check the video referee on this one i wound back the tape i had a look and i screamed got your fuckers to myself in a studio with nothing but me and sex in the city and in that moment i knew they actually had gotten me but it's still a continuity error that's in the film. That's important work, Tim. If not for you, how would this information weasel its way into the public eye? I know.

How would we know not to trust anyone involved in Hollywood, movie making, Cynthia Nixon as a politician, on the back of this deceitful move yeah uh yeah triggered much everybody yeah it is her call it's her responsibility no she was on continuity yeah she was that was how she got the job in the first place she started continuity can we talk about the recent news it's recent for when we recorded this this would be old news now about sex in the city three because i think this we need to discuss absolutely do you want me to explain or do you want to explain what's happened

you you fill your boots man i'll just i'll show it from the side news has come to light and i believe that this is off the bat. I've kind of been skimming the headlines. I haven't, oh no, I'd read one article, I think in time about it. I think this is off the back of someone doing a sex in the city podcast where they got to talk to various people. Mattress Pike, like King, um, has been interviewed for it. Sarah Jessica Parker.

In fact, all of the key players, they they say except for Kim Cattrall who has just uh quite admirably I think at the age of 61 just said no you know what there's it's not an animosity thing it's not a money thing I'm just done I'm done with Sex and the City I'm done with the character of Samantha Jones I'm like fucking respect man I get it so anyway it has come to light during these interviews that the plan for Sex and the City 3, which was seemingly definitely going to happen were it not for Kim Cattrall's lukewarm feeling about it, Big was going to die in a shower. This movie was going to play through the events of a newlywed Carrie Bradshaw and John James

Jingleheim and Smith, big as she has to cope with being a widow after he like presumably slips over anything that you read I did, he has heart problems which are seeded throughout the TV

show, oh really he was going to have a heart attack out of the blue. And then the movie was going to follow Carrie's, you know, navigation of life as a newly minted widow. And that was what turns Kim Cattrall off, as she said, look, frankly, I'd be much more interested in a movie where Samantha Jones has purpose and ambition beyond supporting her recently widowed friend, which as an actor, I think is a great decision.

If you think of her embodying the character of Samantha Jones, it's selfish. True to form. I mean, Samantha seems to be, with regards to her friends, a fantastic friend. She's glue-like. Think about her in Sex and the City. She's the one who books every... In both movies, she's a huge catalyst for action. She gets them to Abu Dhabi.

She gets them to Mexico. She clearly prioritises supporting Carrie over her own work. Miranda says, I've got a job. And then Samantha sort of gestures towards a despondent carrier who's been jilted speaking of which i did not feel like big earned the right to jilt this week oh really yeah when have you when have you thought that that was an entitlement he deserved uh it's not that i've thought it's something he deserved but it's something that i've sort of just taken as read that he's gonna not he's gonna be a no-show at the wedding but this week i was like oh i see big you gotta you

gotta do more i need a clear-cut reason i need a bullet point list detailing the terms and conditions of why you're not getting married because as far as i can tell you're in a funk you're outside the wedding the library where you're getting married and you go come on baby give me like tips look at me or something which she does just through her veil and he interprets that as some sort of sign from the universe that this is this union's not meant to be it is i never got that moment there's a few moments in this movie i've never understood that's one of them i don't get it it's just not it's like come on man it's come on baby i what does he say like i need to see you or something

like that just for a moment something like that and uh and then he does but it's not enough for him he still bails so i i get what you're saying guy the logic is not strong it's not really built up as to we don't have a clear path to him bailing on this i keep hearing a clicking is that you're on your computer or what? What's happening here? Yeah, that's me sort of just making sure that the recording's still going well. Okay, cool. And it's a problem that exists solely to you, Tim.

I'm sure it's not being picked up on the microphone. This is from a man who recorded next to an operational R&B throwback concert in a park last time we spoke. But that was for colour, guy. That was intentional. That was, you know, it was all part of it. Whereas just a clicking reminds me that you... I always think you're up to no good.

I always think you're plotting something. There's no plots over here, my friend. So, yeah, I'm with you on that tim i'm so tired yeah me too man and but for the opposite reason because it's morning here i've even i've had a whole cup of coffee while we've been talking and i'm still sleepy so i'm out of ideas i was so fucking furious at you when i woke up because all i wanted to do was lie in bed i was just like fuck me i could were it not for the podcast recording i could be in here for another two hours comfortably and still like not running out of runway of day and time but i've got to get up and talk about

sex in the city time number 14 well rest assured tim i very happily stayed up until midnight for the sole purpose of discussing sex in the city with you so what have you been doing what have you been doing up until the record time like between when your sort of normal bit of day ended and in the podcast what'd you do to fill the time well my the touring party went for a drink and i said no no not for me thanks i've got bigger fish to fry and then i uh i lay in my room reading um how not to be a boy by robert webb of that web look i bought that and never read it is it good yeah it's great i heard him on an interview and he was so compelling that i was like fuck i'm gonna read that book and i didn't but i bought it so he's still got my money i supported him

yeah uh and then i had a little nap set an alarm woke up ready to record oh i'm sorry man you should be mad at me too we should be mad at each other no one's no one's mad at anyone we're free no i'm mad at you i told you that no no no we love each other we do love each other that's the whole reason we're doing this season do you how long till we really really regret getting back in the swimming pool do you think i don't regret it yet because i still really enjoy catching up with you even even though it's through this thick fog. Yeah, it's not. The regret will grow. I wouldn't say I stamp. I know that there are episodes that we've released in this season so far

in which I express almost an unbridled, unchecked amount of enthusiasm for diving back into it. That moment has passed. That ship has sailed, huh? Before we go, Tim, which I am trying to do desperately. I know, I can tell. That's why I'm trying to prolong the inevitable. Go on.

There is an unsung hero in this movie that we're going to hear and find out a lot more about. It is the very obedient Border Collie, who Steve and Miranda share. In fact, this movie does a bad job of showcasing the various different responsibilities of being a pet owner. Samantha sort of shows you how much can go into it.

But there's a beautiful... Everyone's got a dog but Carrie, actually. Does Charlotte? Charlotte's got three. Oh, that's right. Yeah, true. Anyway, border collie up on the bed after Steve's confessed to cheating. He gestures for the dog to get off.

I just want to know more about that border collie. They're very intelligent dogs. They're, you know, I'm not familiar with a dog that size being allowed in the bed. I think that's quite a unique rule that they've introduced. Maybe part of the reason they haven't been having sex so much is there's a dog between them. But I was just happy to... I hadn't really noticed it before,

and I was really happy to see a beautiful border collie living its best life. I'd love to see a spin-off movie that just follows the dogs of Sex and the City That would be cool That would be so nifty Oh, before we go though as well Because I introduced a new segment last week

Pop quiz, motherfucker What is written, it's one word, on the bucket held by Lily When they're going trick-or-treating in the building Does it say candy? No But that's a good guess Does it say Cinderella? Nah

Feed me? No Should I tell you? Yes It says milk Oh, because There's no reason why No, no, no, there is Should I tell you? Yes. It says milk. Oh, because... There's no reason why. No, no, no, there is.

Her mum's a cow. Oh, that's true. That would be part of Charlotte's outfit. Do you have a question for me? Because I did intend for both last time and this time for you to throw a question at me, but it hasn't happened so far. Do you know, when I was watching the movie this morning,

all I was doing, apart from watching the movie, was trying to remember the name and premise of the segment. Something I did unsuccessfully. So I didn't actually pull out a single detail for you to enjoy. But surely you've got in the recesses of your mind something from the last 14 watches that you can quiz me on. Well, had I not spoken about the border collie already i would have said what breed of dog do fuck i never would have got that i never would have got that it's a border collie

not in your now all right well we can park that for now yeah gladly hey tim i love you man i'm sorry i've been a bit flat this episode but you know no you you're all good it's late you're in goa you've potentially contracted zika and malaria um but you did the podcast and that's the important thing the experiment must continue and it will so we'll see you next episode everyone thanks for joining us please um you know if you if you feel a tug at the heart strings. We do get paid now because there's ads on the podcast which is very helpful for us to continue operations but we also make bonus content for our friends and whanau, that means family

in Te Reo, over on the Patreon, patreon.com slash T-W-I-O-A-T So we'll see you there, we'll see you on this. Guy, I'll see you in New York see you on this Guy I'll see you in New York next uh who's to say

probably not probably LA fucking hell intrepid boy I love it you're doing it man you're living you're out there spending money you don't have we are out here okay that's enough carbon footprint bye Guy bye we just have a good rhythm together

He sort of feels me out I feel him out And we go for it