The Worst Idea Of All Time - 14: Emmanuelle's Happy Perfume

Episode Date: November 17, 2020

Guy knows lots of things Tim doesn't. Where does the wind come from? Where does the wind go? Is there only one bit of a wind or is it always different wind? Tim loves trees. Do you ever think about trees? Lord of the Rings had moving trees called Ents. Better call the Boner Inspector because Guy has a crush on Emmannuelle - a woman living the glamorous life of solo travel. Ultimately though (spoiler alert) nobody got a boner.SUPPORT US ON OUR PATREON (patreon.com/TWIOAT)JOIN US ON FACEBOOK: (facebook.com/WorstIdeaOfAllTime)VISIT THE LITTLE EMPIRE PODCAST NETWORK: (littleempirepodcasts.com)MUSIC CREDIT: Tender Moonlight (facebook.com/TenderMoonlight)ART CREDIT: Tomas Cottle (sick-days.com) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

🎵 I know my shit. You don't. Yeah, I do. I know things you could only dream of knowing. It's untrue. What do you know? I have information that I... What do you fucking know?

I cannot share with you. What do you fucking know? That you would love to get your dirty little hands on. What do you know about Emanuele's perfume? I know that when used correctly, it can save a marriage. It can turn parents into siblings. Wait, that wasn't the... No, hold on.

That wasn't the takeaway. But there's kind of... Oh, no, it kind of was. Yeah, you're right, actually. But I know stuff beyond even the Emanuele franchise. What do you even know, though? Because you just keep saying you know stuff, but you won't allude to what that stuff is. Why would I tell it to you when you want it so badly and I am the only one with it?

I don't give two shits. You do. You keep asking. I think that you are wrong. I'm right. And I want everyone to know that you're wrong. I'm 10 feet tall and you're an ant. I'm not an ant.

I'm a man. you're not a man i'm a man of five foot ten and a half god damn it that half reeks of insecurity it's a powerful half a foot inch huh oh yeah true true five foot not used to dealing in um imperial to be honest with you why not because it's not our way here how tall are you in centimeters i knew you were gonna ask me this i want to say you don't even know 187 well yeah mr captain familiar with the metric system over here doesn't even know his height in centimeters. I don't think I do. I think it's, like, does this sound right to you? 187. No, too tall. 178.

Closer. Okay, maybe it's 178 centimeters. But I'm not 10 centimeters taller than you, am I? I don't, what do you mean? I'm about 189. You'd easily be, you're a lot taller than me. Am I? Yeah, man.

You're a tall drink of water, Guy Montgomery. And are you thirsty? Nope. Do you want to drink my ingredients no do you want me to lubricate your throat uh uh no thank you waiter this one can go back to the kitchen imagine a waiter coming over and asking your table if they'd like to have their throats lubricated i'd be like i'd fucking leave the restaurant immediately i don't even care if i've eaten some would madam and monsieur like me to perhaps lubricate their throat i'm fucking out of here i'm out if you need to charge me you gotta find me because i'm leaving right now track me down from the security footage this man is a nightmare and i fear for my life if anyone's getting charged it's this hypothetical waiter and he should be should be put behind bars

for language like do you think meter should be spelt m-e-t-r-e or m-e-t-e-r so i think we're one of the only places in the world that does this shit we do it with the word center as well Shit. We do it with the word center as well. Center. Why don't we put the R before the E? It doesn't make any sense. It's nicer.

No, it isn't. It is. Why? Because it's so boring for a word to go consonant, vowel, consonant, vowel, consonant. It's nice if it goes consonant, vowel, consonant, consonant, vowel. Oh, what's this rhythm? It's Kiwis not making sense. Who else does probably the brits probably the brits i don't even know if the aussies i'm probably the brits yeah i'm probably the aussies and probably the aussies too what about canadians do they do it yeah and probably

canadians too yeah do you think it's i've got an audition this afternoon I've got to do an American accent Where's this person from? Give me one Give me Yank Literally it says America Does it have a regionality? No Hey how are ya?

Hey how are ya? That is I'm hearing Canadian from that Hey Don't you think? I don't know I think that guy's Canadian I hate it, I hate having to do it I'm hearing Canadian from that. Hey. Hey. Don't you think? I don't know. I think that guy's Canadian.

I hate it. I hate having to do it. I know I'm not going to get the job. What's it for? Can you say? No. You can't? No. Is it a secret?

Yeah. Okay, true. But I can tell you I'm not going to get it. Okay. And I'll tell you after the show. Sweet. After the audition. But it's these fuckers who are eavesdropping

that can't know because they're the these are the motherfuckers who will go running their mouths around town can we can we refrain from calling our

lovely listeners fuckers like over and over again would that be cool with you I'll stop calling them fuckers when they stop fucking which they don't know how to do

these are my people you are all over the map I am I'm talking into the end of my erection which they don't know how to do. These are my people. You are all over the map. I'm talking into the end of my erection like it's a microphone. This is horrible content. I'm disgusted my name is attached to it. Your name isn't just attached to it. You're the headline act. Welcome to the final Emmanuel in the set of seven made for tv films this is the worst

idea of all time a comedy podcast i don't think i've ever called it that before because it's not it's not it's a it's science film review podcast no it's not even a film podcast what is it infotainment gross we bring information to the masses and we present it in digestible chunks. We do our research. We get it on our computers. We're on EncyclopediaBritannica.com. We're on YourDictionary.com. We're looking up the origins of words and natural phenomena

and we're relaying what we find to you. What's your favorite natural phenomena, Guy? Phenomenon? I'm a big fan of um wind why do you like wind so much where's it coming from what's so good about yeah bro where is it coming from and also sometimes why is it not there man okay let's get into it what is going on with wind i I don't know where it starts. Where the fuck does it come from? Because there's no wind in space.

No. None. It's all down here. It's just we've got it. And do you think it's the same bit of wind that's going around and sometimes it's visiting places? I don't think it is. I think it's different. Different bits of wind?

Different wind. Where is the bit of wind that comes through go then? When it's finished, what happens to it? If it's not the same bit of wind, where is all the wind going? Goes to the ocean. The fuck is it doing down there? Not like into the water But like over the ocean

It gets cold and then it goes Ooh, too cold I'm gonna stop moving Does it what? Dissipate? Uh, yep I guess so Well, let's think about the wind

When it hits a tree It stops, right? It goes around the tree It does go around the tree The tree is nothing to wind Yeah Winds don't know about trees Fuck, what's stopping the wind?

But you better believe Trees know about wind Yeah. Winds don't know about trees. Fuck, what's stopping the wind? But you better believe trees know about wind. Yeah, they know a lot about it. They're influenced by wind. Do you ever think about trees? I've been thinking about trees a bit recently. Yeah, I've been known to think about trees. How crazy would it be to be a tree? In that, it's this thing where it's all you know, right?

So you couldn't take your human consciousness and experiences and kind of transpose that onto the experience of being a tree. But just there's something quite amazing about being a thing that is alive and not being able to kind of like affect your movement

except maybe they can. Do trees have moods? I reckon definitely. One of the few things I remember from the Lord of the Rings movies that I sort of imagined the visual of was those big trees that could walk. Like a tree that is sentient and can move around. Oh, God, I used to know what they were called. Big trees. It's monosyllabic.

I know that. Okay. Trees. Irks. Irks. Fucking. Fuck. trees it's monosyllabic yeah okay trees fucking tell you what irks me is you you on mic trying to remember this anyway i i really like that as a representation of a tree oh those yeah that's like that's how i would like to think trees are

these old warriors that band together do you you know why I was trying to... Ent. An ent. Tree's better. Yeah, tree is better. Just stick with tree. Tolkien didn't stick the landing on ent. Why does everyone like this guy so much? I don't know, man.

Are the books even that good? I read The Hobbit and I was like, I'm not reading those. I read all of them when I was a teenager. What did you think? I felt like I was like, I'm not reading them. I read all of them when I was a teenager. What did you think? I felt like I was reading them because I sort of picked up the notion that I was meant to read them and enjoy them. And it was like, okay. I mean, I finished them, so they must have been good enough to power through.

They're not small books. But I was on a lot, you know, we were on family holidays. And, you know, everyone breaks off to read. It's just part of what would happen. Everyone would break off to read. And so whatever you had with you, it's not like you had the internet to, you know, read little bits of everything. I've got a friend of mine. His name's Tim.

Shout out, Tim Suggit. If you're listening, he's probably not. You're full of shit. You're full of shit. So he's one of three boys. You don't know anyone called Tim Suggit. You've never met another person called Tim in your life. His parents.

The Suggit family are a fictitious family. Would pay the boys a small amount of money to read books and do a little book report for them. And that is what I want to do with my kids. To really get them into reading. It sounds like that's going to get them into money. Yeah, actually. Based on the results. Although Tim is a big reader

big reader yeah you could say that but i don't really like what it is is a wistfulness because i wish i had better reading habits dude reading books is for losers it's not true and you've got to stop going to trump rallies okay i will do one thing i will either stop going to trump rallies or start reading books you choose which start reading books okay what the fuck kind of dichotomy is this i don't know a bad one um no okay we won't we won't talk about it We'll talk about literally anything else. Ah, fuck. No. I just wanted to get across the finish line of 10 minutes,

which it just clicked over to, to be honest. They're great. Tony the Tiger. Yeah. We didn't have him, really, in New Zealand, because we didn't really get frosted. No, they weren't. No, what are they called? Frosties.

Frosties. They weren't prominent as they are in the States. Yeah, it's because New Zealand doesn't have an absolutely insane attitude toward breakfast. It's like, hey, what about dessert but backwards? Yeah, yeah. What are you talking about? I just wake up and inhale sugar? Do you know, I got the impression from America that everything was all good, and everyone

was cool with pretending That the candy they were having was cereal Until Chips Ahoy released cookies Really? It's cookie cereal And everyone was like okay You've kind of punctured the bit That's not cereal

Those are cookies So Lucky Charms was fine It's like reading marshmallows Lucky Charms All good Fruit Loops Fucking Cinnamon Toast Crunch Everyone's like, reading marshmallows. Lucky Charms, Fruit Loops, fucking Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Everyone's like, cereal, cereal, cereal. Yeah, we're all good here. And then they're like, Chips Ahoy, these are not.

Fuck. I can't believe they fucked it. They were teetering, the whole industry was teetering on the edge for so long. On a nice edge. My God. You'd feel bad to be Chips Ahoy,

wouldn't you? Responsible for the complete destruction of your own industry. I mean, it hasn't happened yet, but. Well, to be Chips Ahoy, wouldn't you? Responsible for the complete destruction of your own industry. I mean, it hasn't happened yet, but. Well, I think Chips Ahoy, they care less about the series. They're in cookies. You know, that's their industry. So were they always, I don't even understand this. Were Chips Ahoy a chocolate chip cookie company that got into brekkie?

Yeah. That's fucking funny. Like if Skittles were were like just put it in a bowl chuck some milk in it well it's gonna like breakfast in america skittles are already in a bowl there's always a bowl of skittles it's like all it takes is some plucky young inventor to come along with a pint of milk fucking pour it under the top can you imagine eating a bowl of i can i actually can and it's not bad. I hate it. In my brain, it works.

It fucking works. Actually, speaking of milk. Yeah? There was a scene in Emmanuel's Perfume where one of the characters Oh my god, I can't believe you've mentioned the film. portrayed as classy was drinking milk out of a wine glass. It's so good. And I couldn't help but think of committed Worst Idea listener The Brooks

who still to this day, like a fucking clock, posts a creative photo of a glass of milk in a different environment. It's like, this guy drinks milk like water. The guy in the film or Brooks? Brooks. Yeah. He's incredible. The commitment to the bit is, in my online experience, unrivaled. Absolutely unrivaled.

Every day we get tagged into a new milk photo, and he deserves an award for it, frankly. Not like some bullshit internet award, an Emmy, I think. Emmanuel's perfume, should we get into it? It makes, of all of the seven in-flight entertainment movies, it made, to me, the most sense. It was like they sort of followed one cluster of characters in a fairly linear fashion.

I'm bored. I yawned hearing you mention the film. That's how boring it was because it was so linear. That was good, though. It was easier to be sort of invested throughout because we weren't just being introduced to new characters every third can i blow up your spot a little bit i wish you would guys fallen a little bit in love with emmanuel oh no no i i don't know you're gonna blow up my spot like that i asked hey i'm with you man i have i'm with you she is absolutely gorgeous but

it's beyond like i have a huge crush on emmanuel it's not just i feel like a teenage boy it's not just that she's good looking she's got like a charm she's got like a kind of carefree charisma to her she lives a wonderful life and she has a pure heart she is a cause for good and also the films are very restra Like, she is frequently, you know, in proximity to various different people having sex or the movie's iteration of sex. But very rarely. Which, by the way, involves a man wearing jeans and a woman getting thrust upon into her belly button by those jeans. Actually, the first sex scene in this movie, the woman was on top and she was throwing her head around with such reckless abandon.

I was absolutely convinced she was going to cause permanent nerve damage to her neck. Absolutely. It was insane. Yeah, it made my neck hurt just watching it. But all of this to say that Emmanuel's character is,

there's a lightness of touch. Everyone else is... All over the place. Yeah, but we've spent seven movies with her. I feel like we've been getting to know her, and I just... And she wears cool clothes. Yeah.

I think it's one of those things where the perfect amount of time is rolled around again. It's been almost 30 years where fashion is reset, and they always made sure, I think, that Emmanmanuel was in like particularly cool threads in the film she's she's a venezuelan model oh really yeah well i like it yeah um and while she's only got one way to save a marriage though she seems to be involved in trying to patch up a lot of relationships and the only way she knows how

is for the guy to have sex with another woman yeah it's so it's pretty much every single time she goes to the wife and the wife says i'm worried about my marriage and she says i know and gives them a little bit of the perfume and then the wife becomes a different woman she fucks the husband like anamorphs and then returns to the husband as herself after she's fucked the husband is a different person and says, hey. And the husband goes, my God, I'm horny for you. I'm horny for my wife. I'm going to tell you what happens in this movie, everybody.

Are you listening? There's a guy named Sam. Sam wrote a book. The book turned into a movie. The movie went to Cannes. It won awards. It was nominated for the Palme d'Or. It was nominated for the Palme d'Or.

And then he got very concerned about impending failure because suddenly he had some success from which to fall. So in his insecurity, he runs off to Bali. Emmanuel goes and joins him to try and coax him back to society. And while she's there, his parents come over to... They do it every year. It's an annual tradition. 50 years they've been going. And it's their 50th wedding anniversary. For wedding anniversary they go to the same hotel they stay

in the same room yeah every year and emmanuel apparently always gets them a gift as well which is nice so uh this time she got the book because they hadn't read it which is kind of fucking bad parenting they got they got she bought sam's book for the parents to read. But also, at the same time, she gave this old married couple, who are, you know, 80 in the film, a little touch of the perfume. So they both transform into 26-year-olds and then fuck a bit. And then the dad reads the book and tears up because the book is all about how Sam didn't get what he needed as a child from his parents, which is a very weird element to put in this porno. And then they go and fuck some more, and then they fuck some more.

No, the important detail that you've understandably skated over is that they fuck. The dad reads the book and he cries. The wife comes over and says, what's got you feeling? I'm just reads the book he cries yeah the wife comes over and says what's got you feeling sitting i'm just reading the book and then she starts seducing him again and by uh giving him a blow job and then while he's giving the blow job he can't focus or enjoy the blow job because he keeps me like should i tell her that sam didn't like mashed carrots heck i didn't like mashed carrots either folks this is done in voiceover so it's in a monologue and it's so odd as an idea and the way that they orchestrate it is bad as well because he's like he's like should i tell her and then it goes back to the blowjob like to her giving the blowjob

should i tell her about chapter three back to him should i tell her about in chapter three how sam described that he doesn't like mashed it's like what the fuck is going on the script is wild yeah there's a there's a the the relationships to this franchise and food is really enjoyable at one point there's a blonde woman so you actually you're doing a great job of recounting the plot thank you guy please continue and then i will i will recount this uh other fantastic food line later on do you know what i'm thinking of no oh yes yeah so uh the parents reunited they're fucking eventually they meet sam sam's like well this is a trip but i'm just going to go with it emmanuel's happy everyone's happy the four of them

emmanuel and sam travel back to Cannes. The parents travel there. Sam is embarrassed. His parents are now younger than him, so he passes them off as his brother and his brother's partner. No. He passes... Who's Bic?

Which one of these two search terms? Mate, can you fuck that off? I don't want Bic to be in here. What did I say? I don't know. I heard it triggered before. I thought what happened is that he was trying to pass his mum off as his own wife, which is fucked up.

No, no, no. He was passing his mum and dad off. He was saying his dad was his younger brother, and his mum was his younger brother's partner. His sister-in-law. Yeah. Okay, I got it. So they're back in Cannes.

They're back in Cannes, and they're meeting rich and famous people but also there's a waitress and sam falls in love with the waitress they're having a meal the waitress is there there are some rude people who are being rude to the waitress one of the people who's rude to the waitress is this fantastic blonde woman who apropos of nothing picks up a bunch of grapes and says i love radishes. Yeah, she does. And in an accent that we couldn't, I mean, I couldn't track down.

If you gave me an atlas and you said, where's that woman from? I wouldn't know. I would just sweep the whole of Europe and say somewhere in there, I guess. So Sam ends up fucking a different woman who is rude to the waitress. That's right.

And then Emmanuel goes and visits him as a specter and says, Hey, why are you fucking this woman? And Sam says, because I'm in love with the waitress. And Emmanuel says, okay. And then Sam kicks the woman who he's had sex with out of the room, visits the waitress. They fall in love. They get married.

They have twins. They have twins. But all of a sudden they're trapped in this sexless marriage so the woman asks emmanuel to visit them she does that was don't gloss over that because i think that was an interesting angle that that emmanuel in emmanuel movie explored they were like okay happily ever after or is it and then it was flashed forward a year into the i guess it was more than a year because it was a year right they'd had the twins gotta say she's looking fantastic for someone who had twins three months ago and um she's like hey listen things are fine but we're not fucking anymore no big deal and

emmanuel's like mate the biggest of deals you gotta fuck yeah and so emmanuel does the old body switch magic potion naru and uh comes the wife transforms into a different woman breaks into her own house broken down seduces the husband uh and then they fuck she charges him a thousand dollars for fucking her he gives her 500 she leaves and then the wife returns and says, what have you been doing? And he's like, uh... Not fucking someone for $500. Not paying a woman who entered our home $500 to have sex.

And then they have glorious, glorious... Again. Sex and the credits roll. And it just was such a neat, like it was just neat to experience a movie that was easy to follow from start to finish. This one was the laziest one though in terms of filmmaking, I think, because the scenes lasted really long and very little happened. So I feel like they ran out of money.

Yeah, they might have. But I liked it. I mean, I read it. I also liked I had a real flash of like a pang of desire, maybe for Emmanuel's lifestyle. What does she do? She travels around the world. Young, beautiful woman endless budget helps people magic perfume helps people and i was like this looks like a really great

sort of enjoyable life you know like you know removed from reality i was like this looks good but then when i think about sylvia cristal's character older emmanuel recounting the experience to lazenby yeah i see the consequence of it which is like you know in in actuality when she's living the life as a young person looks really wonderful but then when i see because there's no depth yeah when i see sylvia cristel and i'm like but this is what is your life is reduced to now just recounting your youth to fucking whoever you sit next on a plane it becomes quite sad and hollow. This is probably the actual moral of Emmanuel, isn't it? Is that you can't be,

you've got to have a little bit more of a global picture in your life, I think. A global picture? I think so. What do you, like you? I just, well, I know that she helps her friends and stuff, but it's still just, everything feels very self-centered around emmanuel well it is one way to live and if you do you end up on a plane next to george lazenby

recounting far too long stories thank god she's got lazenby oh one funny bit in this film tell you what um the mum before she has oh wait maybe it's's after the question. Before they go to Cannes. She says, I hope I get to meet that Roger Moore. He's so cute. A rival Bond. Yeah. But. One of the best.

Really? Absolutely. Is it more. He was a light touch. He is the funniest Bond there's ever been. Really? And his eyebrows did 50% of the work. Big eyebrows. Who are the best? 50% of the work. Big eyebrows.

Who are the best? Moore and Connery, famously. Everyone loves Connery. Everyone says he's the best. I don't know. I like Roger Moore. I like Pierce Brosnan. Oh, Brosnan was our Bond.

Yes. I think future generations won't care about Bond. Yeah, nor should they. Well, they should reboot it with a woman. That's the coolest thing to do. They were talking about getting, oh God, Gillian Anderson to be Bond. That would be fucking awesome. From the X-Files.

Yeah, dude. And Sex Education more recently. Oh, wow. How good would that be? It would be okay. I don't have a huge relationship to the Bond franchise. Do you to Gillian Anderson, though? No, I didn't really watch X-Files.

Did you watch Sex Education? No, but I hear it's great. Oh, I reckon you'd really like it. Anyway, look. People go ballistic for that show. I mean, it's just good. It's just very watchable. It's not earth-shattering.

It's just really good. Unlike this film franchise. Can I say that? Boner Inspector! Nothing here, good. Unlike this film franchise. Can I say that? Born Inspector! Nothing here, dude. I'm so sorry. You're going to have to look elsewhere. Did you crack a fat this week, guy?

No, but there was a period where I was excited to... Oh, we got to see Emmanuel Topless in this one. That's always pretty cool. That was when I was the most close to having an erection. Yeah, nice one. When Emmanuel was having, because Emmanuel and Sam have a sort of, they're old friends in a sort of when Harry met Sally kind of way. Where it's like they're old friends and it's imagined nothing will happen before them. But we see Emmanuel having this really crazy experience of like, she sees Sam having sex with someone and she's like,

whoa, what if that was me? And then we see her visualizing her and Sam having sex. And again, it was like, there's something about Emmanuel's, we spend the most time with her, but we spend the least time with her having sex with all the characters in the franchise. And so when she is having sex and you're like, I actually like this person. Real supply and demand curve situation.

This is one of the foremost economic texts. This film. I agree. Explains the basics so clearly, so well, so sensual. If you give us so much screen time of a character who's pretty cool And everyone else is fucking all the time But they're not fucking so much Sex in the City tried to do that With Carrie Bradshaw

Didn't quite work though Because the more time we spent with her Not having sex the more we realised The reason she's not having sex is she's Insufferable She doesn't deserve sex I would like to bring back our recurring segment, Pitch a Porno with George Lazenby.

How does this work? Pitch me a porno, and I'm George Lazenby, and I am the judge of whether or not it's a good porno. We open on a mansion in downtown upstate New York. Oh, Tim, you're incorrigible. Tell me more. A ring at the doorbell. Hmm.

Interior. Over-the-shoulder shot of a woman who looks to be between 30 and 40 years of age with long flowing brunette hair answers the door in a night robe it's a pizza for her what's her name we don't know yet oh give it time what's the pizza delivery person hold on for a fucking second, Lazenby. Okay. The door opens. Pizza delivery man says, Boner Inspector! Oh, I'm sorry.

This pizza delivery man is also working a job as a boner inspector? Is the pizza for the lady? I have many questions. The pizza is for the lady. You're such a good listener. So Nicole, who we are soon to find out is her name she says uh my large pepperoni what was that about a boner and he said here's your pizza and here is your boner and he hands over the pizza box and then he points with both hands to his pants and he's got a massive erection holding a pizza. She is disgusted and slams the door on his face.

He hasn't even got the money for the pizza, and there's no way he can ask for it now because he'll be rightly accused of some sort of sexual predation. Is that a word? Maybe. So he leaves, gets in the car, and then... I've heard enough. This is terrible. Oh, no.

This is terrible. Yeah, yeah. It's not my best work. Do you want to pitch one to me, George? Okay. It's me, and I'm 74. I'm out. Nah.

Nah, I'm pulling the plug. I'll try next week Okay, sounds good And that was Picture Porno With George Lazenby The world's greatest listener Any listening tips from George this week?

When listening Try to If you're having a little bit of trouble concentrating to what the person is saying, imagine something that you find more interesting. That is good. But then doesn't your mind wander a little bit, George? Inevitably. Yeah, okay, so you can get caught out doing that one.

You almost always will. Okay. Thanks, George! No worries. George Lazenby, everybody. One of the greats. in power he's still going yeah when he dies when he dies it was a future instruction oh i was actually on his website earlier i'll see if i can get it up for us the guy get it up obviously a fan of george lazenby

with george lazenby getting it up with george lazenby Getting it up with George Lazenby, a website review segment on this podcast, the worst idea of all time. George Lazenby got it up. He got it up on squarespace.com. They definitely aren't giving us any money, nor ever have they, nor will they.

Dear friends and fans, I'm happy to welcome you to my website. It'll be a journey through my life and times, becoming Bond and beyond. How's the UI? Really fucking breezy, man. Yeah, like you can click on, you know where to go. What do you want? You want to buy his autograph?

You want to see what events he's got coming up? Fuck yeah. How much is an autograph from George Lazenby? By the way, if you don't know what George Lazenby looks like, Google young George Lazenby. The dude is a fucking piece. He was a model model slash actor and the model comes first in there for 45 euros you can get a signed photograph of lazenby from bonds on her majesty's secret service it's uh man that's not a lot eh 210 by 148 millimeters print on high quality glossy photo paper, free worldwide shipping. What?

Sold out. Hold the fucking phone. Free worldwide shipping. Shipping's where they get you. That's incredible that that price includes shipping. There are a variety of different Bond photos that you can get that he signs as Lazenby007. Well, fair play to him. Do you reckon that's paying his mortgage?

He married a very successful tennis player late in life. I didn't know that. And they have children, but they've since... Can you get that microphone a bit close to your mouth? They've since separated. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Pam Shriver. Of the...

No. Shrivers? Of the Maria Shrivers? No maria shrivers uh no but she did she win i don't know if she ever won a major she won 21 doubles titles that's a lot she made it to the final of the u.s open in 1978 and the semi-finals at wimbledon three times And the Australian Open three times Incredible Hey well done George Way to support an athlete By marrying them There you go

Shriver has two sisters Marion and Eleanor Who lives in Maryland And is the fourth cousin of Maria Shriver Fourth cousin is actually very distant It's on her wiki page They're just looking for stuff to fill in though Aren't they?

Not a lot of paragraphs I'm not ready to make a knife it's too late to back down that's the Dixie Chicks what was your favourite piece what was your shining light of this film if you want to get down in the mud and say

it was young Emmanuel's breasts I'll allow it it wasn't it wasn't that and I wasn't going to even I was going to probably go with something to do with grapes this movie's relationship to food

is endlessly amusing to me but I will say this there was a moment when I was feeling my crush on Emmanuel when I did genuinely feel the nostalgia of being a young teenage boy

and being like I like this person and that was sweet oh that's cute did genuinely feel the nostalgia of being a young teenage boy and being like, I like this person. And that was sweet. Oh, that's cute. Can you attach that to a particular bit in the film or just in general? It's just a general thing the film did for you. It was around the same time that I was like,

Emmanuel's got a cool life. It was like this weird sort of time when I was almost actually immersed in the movie instead of watching it you know inside of our relationship to what we're doing and i was like this woman is beautiful and she's traveling the world and it was just a flash of being engaged with the materials as you are meant to be instead of as we usually are which is frustrated and bored. Yourself? There's parts in these movies, because they do so much traveling, where you're clearly seeing a real person who's not acting. They've got a camera in front of them.

And when they go to Bali in this one, there's a cool Balinese dancer that you just get a little clip of for about five seconds. And you could tell, she's not acting. She's a Balinese dancer who they put a camera in front of and I liked that. A bit of realism in the film. Another bit was when Sam's parents, after they've had the spell, so they're young,

are involved in an orgy and Guy Montgomery floated the idea that because their heart is no longer pure, they may break the spell and transform back into old people mid-orgie, which would have been truly a sight to behold. Yeah, it would have been incredible. I would just like to say that it's been real

watching these seven Emmanuel films with you, and I'm very excited for what comes next because no longer are we trapped on an airplane with these guys and who better to tell you where the franchise is going next than the great Tim Curry I'm escaping

to the one place that hasn't been corrupted by capitalism Space! Thanks!