The Worst Idea Of All Time - 16: Larry BadClaw (w/ Becky Lucas)

Episode Date: February 14, 2019

Becky Lucas joins us as the inaugural special guest for this season and it turns out she loved the HBO show but has some notes for the film. Timbo is hungover and fresh off a party where he was freaking everyone out by his fireworks-handling and Guy is trying not to get bullied. Mr Big is revealed to be the original Daddy, everyone in this episode is probably too high and Becky shares her very specific fav SaTC gal.Sponsored by BeckysVapePens Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

we just have a good rhythm together you know he sort of feels me out i feel him out and uh we go for it hello everybody and welcome to the worst idea of all time special guest episode season four's first guest actually guy you should probably do this because i don't i don't have the guest but how about i how about i take over and I'll do it. Sounds good. Sounds good. Welcoming to the podcast, Guy Montgomery and Tim Batt. And this is your host, of course, Becky Lucas. Oh, my God. We got Becky Lucas?

Yep. Holy shit. Becky Lucas got us. You got us. What a huge get. I know. Guy just shook my hand. No, I was trying to put the microphone close to your mouth

without explicitly saying. I'm always used to people trying to shake my hand, so I guess that's what that was. Why do people keep trying to shake your hand, Becky Lucas? Just to say they have. Fuck, that's legit, actually. You're a big deal. Yeah, that's legit, actually. You're a big deal. Yeah, but he's got incredible hands.

One hand slightly bigger than the other one. That's my character that I bring into this podcast. Instead of Carrie Bradshaw, it's Larry Bad Claw. And he's got one hand that's bigger than the other, but he doesn't want to talk about it. So don't ask him about it. The whole character. The whole character is he's got one hand bigger than the other

and he doesn't want to talk about it. So one of you try and ask him about it. I, for one, I don't want to be that guy, but I just want to say, like, you know, how did you overcome this crippling disability? I don't know what you're talking about. I think he's talking about the fact that one of your hands is i don't like to talk about that oh okay well do you find like do you play any musical instruments does it have any impact on uh yeah sometimes and uh and does it... No, it's not really something I see or...

It's a good character. Yeah, there's a lot you can do with it. It's got legs for two and a half hours. Yep. So Tim and I have just watched Sex and the City, the movie, for the 16th time. And Becky... We're heroes.

For what, the first this year, I i imagine but the second in your life oh yeah or maybe third yeah but i have because i've got a bone to because i i really like sex in the city i think it i was arguing to guy that i think it's you know of all those shows like hbo shows i think it's like can definitely hold its own in that era of like sopranos you know like sex in the city had great characters and great storylines and like obviously there's some things that don't hold up but it was the first of its kind and i have a lot of affection for it um and a lot of that goodwill does carry over into this movie so i'm sorry yeah but we want to talk about brady the rat king instead of the mayor of new york and our other silly characters well no but you you your good

will didn't i wouldn't say it stretched for two and a half hours of the movie and it's definitely not a good movie and it's like i think all the things i liked about sex in the city were not as present in the movie which is disappointing but i just want you to know that i'm not going to go into this with a you know i'm not going to be as negative as i know you want me to be what do you do we don't want me on here not to be this is hold on for a second larry bad core is like a projection of yourself you like have all these preformed notions of things that you, expectations you think the world wants from you, Becky. And we don't need you to come in here and be negative, man.

We just want to hang out with you and shake your hand because it's so weird and misshapen. Okay. First of all, I don't like to talk about that. It is a rich mind. Secondly, when you say expectations, what are you talking about? Like expectations, what, with the size of your hand? No, he's talking about the fact that you've come on here

and immediately said, I'm not going to be negative like you want. No one asked you to be negative. We got you on the podcast. Yeah, okay. Look, maybe I'm a bit defensive, okay? Where do you think that comes from? Where do you think that comes from? It's from you smoking too much weed recently maybe that's me

projecting but i my brain's fried we had a lot of projecting we had a lot of technical difficulties trying to get the record session set up i was freaking out losing my damn mind and i think the problem is we got to outlaw vape pens because they take illicit substances and put them in a form where they seem very harmless but if you have too much it's too much they make me they make me feel funny and connected well yeah if that's what they would do for you, then by all means, I'd say, you know, keep going. But yeah. Funny ha-ha or like funny weird? No, funny ha-ha.

Okay, let's go. Funny ha-ha and also connected. Like I just feel that I care more about what people are saying when I'm high. Oh, in an empathetic or in an oversensitive way? Both. I've experienced that before as well I remember when I first started smoking weed like after I'd gone crazy and you know you you write yourself off by smoking as much weed as you can to the point where you start doing it for fun and being like oh my god everyone is interesting yeah you just have to get them talking about the thing that's interesting to them and you have to be stoned yeah yeah it's great i really think there's something to that

uh do you like if you watch a movie for example do you do you generally enjoy movies more if you're slightly stoned yeah but just slightly i don't like to be too stoned i think my problem was i was always getting too stoned but now I've discovered this weed pen. It's really changed my life. I've got 10 boxes of them in the car. Do you want one? This podcast is brought to you by Weedpins. Yeah. Just the general concept of them.

Hit me up on socials, guys. Hit me up on socials. Use the code T-W-I-O-A-T and you will get 25% off. Weedpins.com off. Weepins.com Weepins.com by Becky slash woo! So Becky and I watched the movie together.

The offer code is woo! With as many O's as you see fit. If you can guess how many zeros there are, you get the 25% off. Yeah, it's woo! But all the O's are zeros. Now, Becky and I had the good fortune of spending this screening of Sex and the City with one another.

Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, hold on. Hold on for a second. Weed pens. Woo. Yeah, keep going. Jesus. Was that DuckTales?

Did you stop me moving the conversation forward to do a parody of DuckTales but say weed pens? You monster. I think you have had too much of the weed pen. Sorry, man. I apologize to both of you. I just wanted to know, I feel like you're just delaying the inevitable conversation

about the viewing experience in the movie itself. Can you paint a picture for Becky and myself? Where did you watch it? How did you watch it? How did you find it? Man, very little has changed. I was in bed uh it was too early so we got up to go to work and i desperately tried not to vomit onto a tiny cell phone screen while i um absorbed the plight of four new york women going about their business well one in the west why did you party so hard last night

i didn't party that hard i think i'm just getting older it was um it was male gaze host eli massison's birthday party it was a bloody delight actually i brought fireworks which i was a real wild card you truly are a company man do you know yeah there's a lot of footage of you and your fireworks on uh instagram story this morning i haven't seen any i haven't seen yeah there was and i messaged because it was Eli who I'm a part of Snort with him. Yes. And I messaged saying, your party looked great, Eli. In particular, I thought handing the responsibility of fireworks

to Tim Batt was a touch of class, which created a run of people talking about you and fireworks, Tim, including Tim Batt's fireworks etiquette was wild out of control so confident though from chris parker yeah and did anything go wrong everyone was freaking out because they're not used to i don't know it's a different set of people they're not used to like taking apart magic things and making bombs out of coke bottles with the gunpowder inside them and not like not like you. Hamish Parkinson said that man loves watching things burn.

That's true. Eddie Devers said, firework in the hand near an open window into a tree or not at all. Anyway. I actually resent it a little bit. It was fine. It was at all times under control. Everyone was just freaking out.

People just don't know how to, you know, like things that are outside of the norm, they fucking freak out, man. Well, it's not even there though. Becky, thank you. Yeah, so because, yeah, because I get it. But no, you know, like sometimes you watch a, you'll watch a film.

Guy doesn't get it. Well, you've described yourself as having smoked too much weed. Can I be honest? Guy's never gotten it. I get it doesn't get it well you've described yourself as having never gotten it guys never gotten it i get it how are you guys ganging up on me when we're in the room sorry guy what are you trying to say i'm just trying to say sometimes when it feels like it's in control to you the person doing the thing that's not how it reads to other people and i'm not talking about you with fireworks specifically i'm talking about the experience exactly maybe your face was all fucking red and you had sweat pouring down your forehead and you probably you're probably like oh shit shit shit shit it's fine it's fine it's wildly swinging around insisting everything's under control

i would love to play poker with that version of myself that thinks he's putting on a real cool exterior but it's like swearing him on just sweating profusely snapping at people wouldn't we all uh but so you watched it you watched it this morning after partying last night guy can i say i've got so much respect for the respect that you're bringing in integrity to the project of like you're grabbing that spotlight you're like hey excuse me we're here to fucking look at this thing i know you want to talk about your weed and your fireworks and ganging up on me but we're having a fun time and then you're like hey guys wrap it up i love it

i've got nothing but respect for it. Podcasts aren't about riffs. All podcasts are about just sticking to the point of the podcast, which is laid out at the start of the record. And those are the fucking facts. It's so funny because I said to Guy before this podcast, I was like, I really like podcasts that are just freeform and there's no rules.

And he was like, yeah, totally, totally. And now right now, could not be more of a task master we're totally cool totally cool relaxed guy totally cool and relaxed guy you're hovering above the seat no i'm sitting i'm sitting no no no no all right so so what is the question? Okay, here we go. I'm going to grab the reins for a second. Cool. And that's your question.

Oh, when Tim does it, it's cool, isn't it, Becky? All right, I have to respect what Tim says. Now, I'm going to grab the reins and say, hey, when's the best time you ever saw fireworks? I'd have to say as a kid going to Sparks in the Park, which was an event in Christchurch that the city council used to put on. Oh, classical Sparks in the Park, I think is what it was called. And there was classical music and they'd play Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture and they managed to time the big old explosions

with the crescendo percussion part of that music. It was very cool. How about you, Becky? I'm glad I asked. I don't think you are probably when I went to a similar it was called bark in the park and you'd bring your dog no one for loving fireworks go on you bring you everyone brings their dog and they put them in a big pen yes and then they'd have fireworks set up all over the park and they'd set them off and dogs would go fucking crazy and then it was like um it was

just really funny that's fucking yeah i i remember when i was 13 i went to lark in the park which was in uh yeah it was in wellington and it was sort of just like it was an initiative that the council tried to get going where they'd pair like drifters and people who lived in the park with quite dangerous fireworks just for a bit of a lark and uh yeah it was a one it was a one it was a one hit of that that one it did not um it was memorable i really thought there were going to be birds involved with that one. Why? Because that's a bird, isn't it?

A lark? Isn't it a bird? I don't know. Hey, you know what? Forget I said anything. How about that movie? I think you're thinking of a stork. Do you know what is actually fun?

Is it the end of a riff trying to figure out fact check it? That's a good podcast. Okay, so now the riff'siffs finished let's walk it back oh actually now you're freaking me out because i am a little greened over so like i was saying i'm in bed my beautiful wife is off to work i'm trying not to vomit um and i watched the movie i watched i tried to watch a bit of it last night after the party and i think i got about seven minutes in and fell asleep yeah understandably so it's the 16th time you've seen it yeah um which probably means that it's it's the story's not only going to be super engrossing i actually during the the wedding becky was quite um what was it like for you guys what was the

context we've been having a nice time guy Guy and I, both in New York. You know, it's been really fun to hang out. We're both like-minded people and it's a fun friendship and it's been really lovely, which leads me to today where I came over, we went and got a coffee, we watched a movie, got high on my own supply. You have to your own farts?

No. You're so sassy. No, and I am trying to pimp out my products, so don't make jokes about farts. Because as I say, I do have 20 boxes of these things. I really would like to clear them out. This is not the place to shift your units becky look we we had a good time and it was really fun because becky as she has already said it is a sex in the city fan and in between picking apart the slower moving parts of

the film it was nice to be watching with someone who was emotionally moved at moments when the film was trying to achieve that yeah uh namely at the old langzyme oh and the wedding yeah the wedding really got you yeah and that made me sort of look at it as in someone who was saying hey i'm not going to watch this as someone who knows and just wants this jilting to be over and done with yeah but hey what if i'm watching this as a fan of the franchise in the cinema 12 plus 10 for drink and snack drink and snack $22 and it is an emotionally it is and especially like i you know i am a huge fan of the show and i have been re-watching it because i think with each you know like when you i watched it when i was younger and it's like you don't you can still

kind of identify some of the things but they're you know they're talking about dating and like having you know it's just about dating and like having you know it's just different like i think as you get older a rewatch of sex in the city is great you know because you start i'm sort of like starting to be the age of them because i think they're like 35 i think it spans from 30 to 40 yeah the season so in that way i'm coming into it so it's like it's a it's a nice thing to be. Yeah, I think so. I reckon it might have even started with them being, oh, no, yeah, you must be right.

I think they're about 30, yeah. Samantha turns 50 in the movie, and that was a long time after the show. Yeah, so I don't know. I think there's obviously a lot that's kind of lame or whatever, but there are some really good foundations there in the show in terms of their friendship. And there's a lot of really funny comedy premises. They had some great comedy writers working on the show.

So a lot of the stuff is very good and done really well. But I think the show has a lot of heart. There's a lot of heart there and not everything sort of has this sheen. So as a big fan of the tv show though and rightly so because that guy and i have said this many times before the show legitimately was like groundbreaking and important and very good and beloved like for a good reason it was good so guy has said this because he made me feel like a freak for saying it i haven't said that i didn't watch it but i know it was important i know it has a place in the cultural sphere.

You must have seen the odd episode, though, Guy, just kind of by cultural osmosis, right? Yeah, I have. I've spoken about it on the podcast, and I made the same confession to Becky. Yeah, and I found it feral. Yeah, it's not one to be revisited. The listener knows what we're talking about.

My question is, Becky, for you, as someone who really got in there and enjoyed the tv show because you're saying very lovely things about the tv show but what do you think about the movie well the movie stinks like i mean it i mean oh it doesn't stink but it's like it just has lost you know it definitely didn't connect with me as much and everything felt very cartoonish like the lines that they say you know it's like i called i called carrie a quippy little bitch you chastised her for quipping too much but you quip yeah but like my quips are natural her quips are like yeah like my quip will just be like, Oi, get me a coffee.

That is a good quip. That's more of a request. But, you know, different people have different definitions. Oi, go get me a coffee. She quipped. Can I ask you what parts of the movie, so you've already said the wedding. Which is, I feel like a lot of women have been in relationships and it's like that one guy that you would put up with a lot of that stuff for

and then when you finally think it's you know it's just there's a lot of history there that you don't really connect with but carrie and big had like chemistry and a history and so that whole thing just takes on more weight even though i don't think for me it just feels a bit ridiculous that we're even back here watching these characters again um there was still a bit like no how could you do this is it and as a fan of the franchise you always wanted it to be carrie and big yeah well i don't yeah like big i don't know i like difficult men and yeah you think big's hot what do you think of aiden didn't like i mean he's fine but he's just he's just boring but he's what men should be and like if you have a healthy relationship with men i should

you should like aiden it's just that i don't so i don't like him because but i mean and with like the modern parlance would big be a daddy would you refer to big as a daddy or is the age group not quite he was the original daddy. He was our generation's first daddy, was Mr. Big. That's fucking wild when you think about it. That's quite an important role to have. He leans into it.

The writers and the character know what they're doing. He calls Carrie kid. He's called Mr. Big for God's sake. Those little kisses that you don't like he does he gives her little kisses on the nose oh no they're big sometimes they're big i don't mind yeah i you know i actually noticed one early on when they're for the first time they're reunited and they're heading into the apartment after their first kiss he does one on the nose yeah and it's like i'm with i'm with tim on this like

because i've i've stuck up for these kids before but a peck is fine but it is like an open mouth it's like he thinks he's kissing her mouth yeah which wouldn't surprise me because i've said it before i'll say it again the guy is having a breakdown this whole movie guy and i was saying that they should dub his voice out and replace it, but everyone else is still normal. The bad lip reading people should come in and just do big lines. Everyone's normal. And he's just like, ah,

my fucking ass. That'd be awesome. Yeah. Did you ever, yeah. No, you go ahead. Nah,

fuck it, Becky. People, nah, people that heard me for the last bloody 15 episodes they want becky lucas what were you gonna say um i was gonna say oh it's such a it's so i wish you were here tim it's so cozy and rainy you know it's very beautiful i wish you're so hot in here i've got i took my shoes off again i'm a i'm a grubby little

hungover boy i've got alcohol pouring out of my pores, and it's too hot in the studio. You are doing an incredible job of painting a really gross and quite vivid picture. I had a really good shining light, and I've forgotten it. I'm so perturbed because I was like, I really should write this down. Not at all.

If that's what you want to talk about, I got a little shining light myself, actually, which is another Mr. Big moment. When they're on the phone and Carrie is saying, you know, he's freaking out about the vows and Carrie's sort of reassuring him that everything's going to be okay. She says, and if you can't think of what to write, just write this, these three words.

I love you. No, it's i will love you i will love you is that right yeah yeah because it is later in the film yeah and his his eyes bulge at the idea of as if to say yeah yeah as if to say i got two fingers in my hand but it's a it's actually a really nice moment and it's quite good acting he actually caught me off guard a few times uh chris noeth did in his performance in this uh this film i can't remember the other one oh when he's when he's distraught the moment of recognition when he's driving away from the jilting and he realizes he's made a huge mistake his face really reads as a man

who is in a frenzied panic uh but yeah that first moment was my shining light that's cool we were talking about how funny it would be if um steve and harry and mr big all had to hang out yeah without the girls a spin-off episode of where it's just the because like you know there are so many men who just wind up being friends like in this context they're just friends because their partners are thinking maybe you would join us in a bit of um improv oh boy because because you know you you're an improviser the internet delay is such that it will just be the it'll be hey yes i'd love to participate in this okay great we'll add to the scene okay so who do you want to be i'll be i'll be big okay how big of you i'll be harry and i was a fucking good quip

uh okay so let's begin so we're all sitting um maybe in carrie's apartment the girls have gone to get some booze okay okay hey uh this place is nice huh well yeah it's uh i bought carrie this place i paid for it yeah well don't we don, isn't that what we all do? Sorry, Steve. Well, you know, we can't all afford whatever our partners want. I mean. What do you think they're buying? Right now?

Shoes, probably. They wouldn't have this much fun. Already we've broken it. They're getting along. They're joking. They're on the same page is that a joke does that qualify because this bit feels like it is tanked that's a good bit i'm looking at the downloads now a lot of people are editing out all of the audio around it and just putting this bit. That's so good. Okay. Cool. We definitely should leave it there then because I don't want to take away from how perfect

it is. Okay, cool. I mean, it's that sort of attitude that really stifles creativity. Yeah. Yeah. You're being a real no-but. Would you guys like to go bowling with me?

John. I am an excellent bowler. It is a game that involves all of the skills I have honed. Throwing things, watching things, knocking things over. If we are going to criticize the improv, I feel like you're not listening to what we're giving you back now. Suddenly we're out of the boat. This is really just a monologue by Mr. Big.

Hey, well, the important thing is we're all laughing, which I assume means so is anyone listening along. I guess. Bethy, did you have a shining light? Any moment that stuck out to you as particularly enjoyable well as i've said i do love like the emotional i like the old lang syne bit um though i do feel that i've been saying it all movie they could have had the fight earlier with miranda and carrie can you please explain the storytelling mistake and how you'd resolve it. It's just like the movie already definitely goes for 40 minutes too long.

I don't know how long the movie is. 40? That is – 2 hours and 34 minutes. All right. Usually when you say that about a movie, it's like, oh, yeah, the movie could – you could have shaved like 10 minutes off there or max could have shaved, I reckon, about 20 minutes,

but you could remove 40 minutes from this. There's just a lot. You articulate it in a very clear storytelling way, which is that it lags because of this beat that they get wrong. Yeah, they've got three different beats with Miranda and they only need like, you know, so her and Carrie have this beautiful moment where they meet up on New Year's Eve.

And then the fight happens. Miranda discloses the secret after that. Yeah, you're right. So then they have to make up. And then there's Steve and her thing they make up later. And it's like you've got this whole other old Lang Syme thing which you could have put – they could have had Miranda tell Carrie earlier.

Before New Year's. Before New Year's. And then that old lang syne beat would have been perfect and then she could have said you know like this is the benefit of getting a genuine tv writer and as a guest like because that i have felt that that drag yeah this whole time but have not been able to identify why but that is completely right yeah it's just like such an easy thing like the tension's kind of fun and i like it is kind of fun to have a fight between just as a viewer like it's satisfying

to see a conflict and resolution between carrying yeah exactly but like either remove it from that part or shift it earlier but you can't have it where it is yeah so is your is your shining light your note for the script yeah my shining light is my own brain and the ears at which I troubleshoot. Has this given you enough time to remember yours, Tim? Yeah, I did. Well, I can't actually remember exactly what... I'm trying to lock down...

Because there's so many cafes in this movie, or eateries, but I remember there being an incredible... Oh, I know when it is. I know when it is. It's when Louise meets Will again, and they're sitting in a cafe. Do you remember this?

It's just a really brief shot. It's kind of part of a montage, and Carrie is doing narration under it about her meeting back up with Will. They realize how much she... Is she jumping over a puddle to go and meet up with him? No, they're sitting down in a cafe and it's like just zooming into the window.

Anyway, my shining light is that has got to be the cleanest fucking window I've ever seen in a film. It's like it's not there, but it is. Yeah. It very well may not be. It is. You can tell because there's reflected light off of it,

but you could eat off that window. I mean, Tim, let me guide you through a production. it is you can tell because there's like reflected light off of it but you could eat off that window i mean tim let me guide you through a production so i mean you know they would have just said hey guys um we'll get there half an hour early we'll give that window a bit of a clean and then that's all that's all that's happened there who's so clean who's they is they well you probably get you know your your prop your arts department or your you know your prop guy probably did a bit of a recce and was like all right well you know your dop would have come by would have said do you think does credit go to the window cleaner who works at the cafe when it's being used for its ordinary purpose or does it go

to the props department who cleaned it for the credit you know credit where credit's due that's literally what i'm asking no and i think we both agree that credit where credit's due yeah i think we do both agree that credit should be given in a portion to the you know the people who are due the credit but in this particular example oh right right right sorry yeah sorry um i can't concentrate because you're making me wear one of those pods that i think don't work um anyway i think the credit i don't know as a listener i'm always wondering about the technical arrangement that is you know leading to the product that i'm consuming i'm sorry i'm always giving them a peek behind the curtain. What is the pod thing you've just described?

Are you guys sharing headphones? Are you tethered together? No, he's one of them. No, well. There is the beauty of it. We are listening on AirPods, those wireless Bluetooth. Oh, you got one inch. Yeah.

And you know how everyone's like, they don't pull out. I'm like, really? It's fallen out three times in this sitting I've got tiny little ears you've got that big gold hoop banging up against the earphone I've got these perfectly apportioned ears

and no jewellery baby I just hate it I'm sitting it out I'm not getting the pods yeah fair enough too you don't need to what would you have liked to have seen in the third movie because we recently found out uh recently from when we recorded this this this episode is going to be coming out a little after we recorded it that big dies in a shower um in the third movie that yeah did you not read this? This is legit. No, I don't want that to happen. Well, it won't because Cynthia Nixon.

Oh, yeah, Kim. Oh, sorry, Kim Cattrall. Kim Cattrall refused to because the plot was Big was going to have a heart attack and die. And the third movie was about Carrie's grieving and finding a way to move forward. And Kim Cattrall said, that's not interesting to me. I don't want to be in a movie where my entire character is just. Supporting. Yeah.

And that's a divide that they've had on you know even in the second film their attentions so as a i really don't think they should kill off mr big that's insane like it's because you want to fuck him don't kill him off send him in my house what would you like to see in the third movie and is it is it just you having sex with Mr. Big? Is that something you'd be interested in? It's me reverse cowboy. Oh, wait, cowgirl. I like cowboy.

Cowboy. Pegging big. Yeah. Sex in the City 3, pegging big. I would like to see He would crush your thighs Oh god He's massive

I'd like to see Charlotte with a Child that has like Lots of problems at school Give her something to do Yeah like she's she's like her daughter's like keeps throwing chairs and she had other kids that has anger problems i would i would absolutely that is something that would get me into the cinema yeah totally and she's like like yeah the kid screams and like it was found with a knife because this is well this was another fun

thing and watching it with becky as i got the canvas here because i you know tim it's it's on the record charlotte and i have a problem with each other uh and so i was saying well you know in the series maybe maybe something was lost in translation between the series and the films she sucks she's the worst i hate charlotte i don't understand why the three of them put up with her like what i don't know what's endearing about what are the traits in her as a friend that that get on nerves? She's just always like when they're having a drink and Samantha's like, one more, and she's like, one more? Fuck off. Are you serious?

Why would you ever be friends with that? I don't ever want a friend to tell me that anything I've done is bad. You just sound like an alcoholic. I don't know if that translates to yeah you told us that you started the day by watching this movie on a phone while trying not to throw up yeah fuck you tim i'm i'm actually siding with guy here and you know what we're in fucking new york so stop my look um tim i have an idea for a new segment uh that i'd like to put to you i love it let's before you even say it i want to commit to doing it every episode henceforth of this season and i mean it

so this idea better be the fucking best idea you've ever come up with because the stakes couldn't be higher it involves involves Larry Badclaw. It's called Larry Badclaw buys a coffee. And it's Larry Badclaw trying to find a coffee shop that A, serves premium grey coffee, and B, has servers and staff that do not bring up the slightly different size between his two hands. Oh, no. What a shit bit we're tethered to.

So do we have to do, like, a different act out of there each time? No. The beauty of it is, Tim, that that is not the idea. You know, my mother called me Lawrence, but I shortened it to Larry to seem more fun to distract people

from my asymmetrical hands. Are you going to get a coffee or not? And you just brought up the one thing that I'm apparently not allowed to talk about. Larry, get the fuck out of my store. Scene. The segment stems from when Steve shows up all fucking tail between his legs

and crumpled eyes and hair, just devastated after that. Sad eyes and show bits. Yeah, incredible. After the rehearsal dinner and after Harry's professed his love for illegal Cuban cigars. And he shows up and he says uh i don't want to bother you and uh

you're not bothering us and every time there's a beat after that where it goes back to steve and i really want him to actually want to bother them but he's saying i don't want to bother you and so i want the the segment is what would steve do to bother these people outside rubbish man i can't believe we're in this fucking 32 eps now or what oh no sorry what are we up to 16 can i just say tim you are a joy to play against the guy who literally uh ties us to the segment that he then shits on before even engaging in the idea this isn't your fucking hallowed uh improv stage you're not at the fucking ucb now you're on the potty with me and every now and then i'm gonna be punchy i'm gonna be tired i'm gonna be hungover and i'm gonna'm going to fucking come at you, man. Fuck you.

Hey, fuck you. Yeah. Becky and I are really unionized over here. I actually don't know who Becky directed that at, if it was me or a guy. It was you. It was massively you. We've got a photo of you that we've printed out and put in front of us. And she was looking you square in the fucking eyes.

You're a fucking asshole. Just say fuck you, Tim. You're a fucking asshole. Just say, fuck you, Tim. You're a fucking asshole. You're an asshole, Larry. Fuck you, Tim. Yeah, yeah. Well, Tim, actually, do you know what? I wanted to offer it to you only to antagonize you

because you don't like the segment, but because Becky is our guest, what would you like to see Steve do? I mean, do you even remember the moment? You obviously are registered with you, Tim. You like it, or you, Tim. You like it. Or you know it. Hey, I've been a dick. Throw this to Becky. I deserve

this. I'm in the dog box. Rightly so. Okay. Dog box? Is that if you've got a pov dog, you don't have a dog house? No, no, that's where husbands go if they've been naughty. Dog house. Oh, he said sleeping in the dog house.

I'm in the dog house. In New Zealand, they go in the dog box. Oh, my God. Well, because dogs go in boxes. No, they don't. Yeah. In Australia, we have little houses for them. Yeah.

We don't have any asymmetrical housing for animals in New Zealand. You just chuck them in a box. It's all perfectly portioned boxes. That's why your dogs are all fucking mangy. Every time I go to New Zealand, Just chuck them in a box. It's all perfectly portioned boxes. Proportioned. That's why your dogs are all fucking mangy and every time I go to New Zealand I get bitten by a dog. I'm serious.

Every single time. What the fuck? Every single time. That's so weird. It's something I've actually never told anyone. I keep forgetting. Do you reckon it's because

you keep putting them in a pen and like lighting fireworks near them? Because I reckon that'll set anyone off. What the fuck is this bit again? I actually forgot. What is this segment?

Oh, how is he annoying them? It's called I Don't Want to Bother You. Steve is generating something in front of Big, Smith, and Samantha, and Harry to whatever it is to get their attention or just to like throw them off guard i don't know what nefarious purposes he has with doing this but he really wants to do something which makes him go oh fuck i should have been thinking about this the whole time because it's me first fuck um he could like try and moonwalk and keep making it. And he's like, guys, look, no, wait, I got it.

And then he tries to do it. It's not right. And they're like, oh, sort of. He's like, no, no, wait, I think I've got it. He's cammed over from Brooklyn. And he's only done like 30 minutes practice. It's one of those things where he was practicing for ages in front of a mirror and he thought he nailed it once. And so he was like, okay, cool.

So I've got it now. So stop everything. I'll get in a cab and go across town and show them. And he didn't even nail it once. If I don't have the mirror there. He doesn't have the mirror. So he's like. And he's also, he's getting nervous the whole camera right there

he's like oh maybe i don't have this it's not ready yeah that's fucking good becky it's real good shit does this come from personal experience have you or someone that you love and cherish attempted to um i can actually moonwalk is that true guy can you please do it and can guy can you verify do you want me to do it? Right now on the potty. Oh, the only thing is... Yeah. Can you do it on the wood floor?

Well, yeah, but I have to take my shoes off. Just wait. You guys keep chatting. We're actually a shoes-off house anyway. Oh, shit. It's kind of perfect. I actually was impolite. Look, full disclosure,

I am going to have to dip out in about five minutes, so we should wrap up any unfinished business that we otherwise have. You're fucking serious? Yeah, he's got another podcast with a guy called Tom. Two guys called Tom. Yeah, and they do this thing where they watch a movie, but they watch it every month.

So, I don't know. It's kind of weird. It's called Kind of a Bad Idea all right i'm gonna moonwalk you want to hold this yeah oh no actually do you want to talk us through what's happening okay well not really i just gotta feel it i'll hold it so becky is uh just clearing some space on the wooden floor she's in socks and she is actually doing a fucking good job oh really yeah yeah she's she's totally got it uh i'm gonna record her feet with a video okay that's just so that i know that you're unable to do that while you talk at

the same time so i'll pad while you do that no i i absolutely can talk and record yeah you're doing it now uh so tim the the game that you created which i actually think is a really good time is uh uh of course it's called um prop quiz and you you ask a question about a different prop oh that's way better than my one yeah mine was pop quiz but i like yours better no i was deliberately getting it wrong to try and antagonize you i didn't expect you to take it so well uh i've got weed pens kicking in huh absolutely i've got one for you tim uh after the jilting and actually you can try this as well if you if you like becky uh the the gals all gallivant down to mexico they stay in the honeymoon suite at a beautiful resort. And the resort is tended to by various different staff members,

largely maids. And the maids wear a uniform. What color is that uniform? Buzz. I mean, white? Dwight, can I go in? Yeah, just say you're into Buzz. No, it's not blue. Is it white into buzz. No, it's not blue.

Is it white? White. No, it's not white. Green. Well, now we don't know. We're just guessing. It's yellow. It's a yellow uniform with a white trim.

Huh. The more you know. It's pronounced trim. Sorry. I've got one for you guys. Pop quiz. Pop quiz. What time to the minute does Miranda call Carrie on New Year's Eve?

What? Oh. Oh. 1104 p.m.? Oh, p.m. Oh, I've got no idea. Just guess. So, you know, she calls her up and she's like, you're never going to make it in time.

Cab on New Year's? 11 oh becky lucas wins to the minute you fucking legend guy has seen this movie 16 times and you beat him you fucking beat him i side coached up a storm though that's awesome i love it i love when i win's so good. Of all the minutes you could have picked, you nailed it. I know. Of all the minutes. You know what? I've been feeling very intuitive lately and very psychic. Can you give me a fortune?

Oh, do you want me to guess something? Yeah. Okay. Tell me what the week has for me. Okay. Is it, okay, this week? Yes. I see something, you've applied for something, there's something that you really, really want.

But you're not letting yourself, you know, get excited for it. And I think this week there's going to be some development on that. And you're going to also have diarrhea. Oh my God. That's so good because I've been backed up for weeks. So I think the two things you're describing are actually one thing. That's great. That's really good.

Can I just have one? Okay, you go on. I think, okay, Guy, I see in this week for you a really, really interesting phone call that makes you think about stuff differently, but in a really good way. You're going to get a phone call from an old um acquaintance friend and it's going to bring with it some positive energy into your life it's really exciting yeah and becky to end on can you please give a fortune for the person who's listening to this podcast okay i think you're gonna finish this

podcast you're gonna ruminate on it for a minute or so, and then you're going to go to beckysvapepens.com and you're going to order a pen for you and your mates. Using the code word TWIOAT for 25% off. Have fun. Get high. Be safe. And make sure you enter those credit card details.

And remember, kids, get high all the time um well that feels like a responsible place to end the episode yes you go the thing is i'm i'm gonna go but becky's gonna keep hanging out so if you guys want to talk shit behind my back i would fucking actually love that becky can you just can we do another like 10 minutes without guy yeah we can. But I don't know how to stop all this equipment. Or does it matter? It's all me.

Tim can coach you through it. I can control everything from my end. I'm going to leave you guys to it then. This is so good. I'm going to put my shoes on and get out of here. Tim, a burden as always. I hope your hangover wreaks havoc on every intention you have for this Monday morning go fuck yourself you're a real

piece of shit Becky thank you so much for being a guest on the podcast and in my home I'll see you later we're going to have dinner so don't say anything too crazy because I do have a compulsion to bitch I love you Monty

he's gone so Becky I do have a compulsion to bitch. I love you, Monty. He's gone now. Yeah, so what's been happening, dude? Oh, man. Let me tell you. I have not had a shit for ages. No, I'm just kidding. That was in reference to your fortune that you just told me.

No, no, no. I got that. I want to dip back into the – oh, God. My computer did something weird and shot my – I want to dip back into the oh god my computer did something weird and shot my yeah i want to get back into the movie with you if i may okay who's you like who do you just wait i need to yes just wait i just want to have one more um head of this weed yeah okay go because before you ask me an opinion about it because i'm like i'm out of opinions we'll all just hold while you rip a fat fucking smoke rip from your vape yeah well that would be great thank you thank you cool are you good i'm good so let's ask me anything and i'll do my

best to respond which sex in the city gal or guy do you most associate with on a personal deep level who are you in this universe bear in mind the fifth lady is new york city yeah i think because you don't you didn't watch the series did you no i've seen like the odd episode but i haven't no okay there was an episode um there was an episode where they're at a party once and there was a lady and she says, I'm so bored I could die. And then she falls out of a window and dies. Oh, my God. And when people say I'm what Sex and the City character are you,

I always say I'm that lady. That is fucking brilliant. Yeah, I know. I'm what Sex and the City character are you? I always say I'm that lady. That is fucking brilliant. Yeah, I know. I'm really funny. Have you ever IMDB'd her? Do you know who this... I'm assuming she's like a character actor or something, right? Yeah, she's great.

She's, I forget. She's kind of like, as I remember her, quite bold and brash. She's kind of one of those brash New York women. And it's literally just that one episode it's just a little yeah fun little yeah i might look it up now and do like a fun instagram post there's a guy called uh paul who is one of the interviewees for the um carrie bradshaw personal assistant position and um we're gonna try and get him on I kind of I think yeah I heard he's fucking fun he's cool because he's highly educated he goes through his CV I should know it by heart by now but he's like he went to Princeton or something and he worked at Merrill

Lynch um but then he's wearing like these really gorgeous pink high heels when she like stands down below the table and that's table i don't understand um what yeah so why didn't she get i because i was like i would have chosen him exactly and they set it up in a way where it's like okay so i guess this is this is the guy yeah because he's i know and then super onto it and he's got just the right amount of like a a twist of carrie bradshaw in addition to being very professional and onto it that guy and it almost comes off as offensive it almost comes off as like yes because it's like this is the perfect guy so it's like well either show four duds and then have Jennifer Hudson but why would you show

like a cool like gay guys like you know that's perfect for the job and you don't go with him they show three weird sledge they show like um who do they have they've got the kind of valley girl who uh doesn't want to do any actual work but just wants a career in fashion um yeah you've got the the chick who rolls up fucking blitz drunk who maybe oh yeah she's oh is that who that is yeah and uh and then we've got paul and the thing is is like the last thing we see of paul is those fantastic shoes and so this implies that it's like three the statement the movie is making is oh if you're a cross-dresser you absolutely cannot get this job like that's disqualifying the fact that you wear ladies shoes yeah how weird they totally missed the mark on that

he it's funny how like you can just miss a movement like yeah you know i feel like it's very much in the zeitgeist and it's like it was just before then and it's like it can really fuck you up but what blows my mind is that this was because uh michael patrick king or mattress pikelet kings his actual name he worked on all the series right like he is the dude that he didn't just get brought on to make these movies he's like the guy so how yeah i guess it's like anything you get these people who in a everyone gets old and everyone gets like conservative and starts getting out of touch after a while because it feels like sex in the city was really groundbreaking and great and they were talking about sex on television for the first time in like a very open way and it was led by four women which is very new thing but then yeah for them to

kind of it's not a huge thing but they fucked up so bad in that moment yeah they just and i like i guess you know you do have to give benefit like you know you can't stay on top of everything and like people do their lives like it becomes less important to them to be on you know knowing what the most woke thing is like people get families and stuff and they just fall behind that's so true that is how it works as well you can either like take your kids to school in the morning or read scroll to an hour and a half of jezebel and figure out like what the yeah like where you're supposed to sit yeah i know and but also i also think um they were i mean this is very inside baseball or whatever but it's like that you know

i know having worked on stuff you know it's never just like what you want like you've got a suddenly you've got producers like maybe they're working with like it was it was a different network like it wasn't hbo so now you've got like people who want to produce this movie like you've got investors everyone's giving notes so it's like your work or your original thing is going to be affected by everyone else who's invested in this massive movie now like it's so different there's a very good point and like i just i know that i've worked on stuff and things haven't hit or whatever and people like oh this is so shit and it's like yeah i know i know that like i fought for that but yeah the person who's responsible for giving money and making it happen didn't like it

or like you know like something else so we went with that like it's just so hard to blame it on one dude way to defend the visionary mattress parklet king that guy i just liked who's poor he's in hackers have you ever seen that movie oh my god the angelina jolie one he's a really cool character recently he's like that um quite sort of transgressive uh what's his the blonde guy no no he's um he's like the hacker on tv he's he's one of the two guys that have got that tv show i think oh shit right it's not like hack and slashash or something like that. I don't know. Anyway. Man, it's so, that's funny how old that movie looks. Oh, man.

Just because they tried to guess what technology would be. It looked old when it came out, pretty much. It was like six months after it was released at cinemas. It was like, wow, they fucked that one up. That's so embarrassing. That's what, like, how sad does Carrie's little phone look in the ocean? Man, and the fact that she's confused by an iPhone. It just reminds you. I know. Man man a lot has happened in 10 years oh mate so much has happened in 10 years i mean i've started comedy top five to in the podcast becky top five things that have happened

in the last 10 years that have been like oh my god that's too hard of a question i would need to prep for that what's your gcm now um top 10 top five things um i'll start us off okay okay vape pins true that's been massive um uh more prevalence of ice cream sandwiches. Like in shops or how do you mean? Yeah, just like there's just more ice cream sandwiches around and like gourmet ones. Yeah, that's true. I'm seeing more people who use omelettes in their name. That's definitely in my top five of the things that have happened

in the last 10 years. So that's number three.'s definitely in my top five of the things that's happened in the last 10 years so that's number three um emoji use uh-huh and of course the number one thing uh and we should probably say it at the same time the number one best thing that's happened in the last 10 years is of course is of course three two one two mass extinction the worst idea of all time podcast oh true yes of course yeah yeah yeah totally what you said yeah um not a soaring hype to end it on but um do you want to plug anything while you're here what should we watch and listen to um i'd love to plug christmas christmas is coming up no it fucking isn't this episode's coming out but wait a time stamp when we recorded this

oh they'll know the true listeners will know they will of course you know they'll be going back through the instagrams piecing it all together timestamps on tweets yeah melbourne international comedy festival um becky lucas will be playing she's sold out already don't fucking bother um are you coming to new zealand yeah yeah hell yeah great see you there if you don't if she doesn't sell out in new zealand i'm holding this podcast personally responsible and we will not complete the season um so make sure you buy a ticket to that even if you don't want to turn up seems fair and are you going to europe this year i don't think so what about japan are you gonna do um like a japan tour no but i might go on a holiday so if anyone's there like say g'day. Yeah, nice. But keep your distance. Keep your distance.

Your little grubs. But say hello. Thanks, Becky. Give me a wave. Well, thanks, Tim. And Tim, is there anything you'd like to promote? Absolutely nothing. I want to promote Becky Lucas.

That's my plug. Oh, thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for staying with us through the journey. Everyone follow Becky Lucas on all the social media. And I hope that she doesn't get for sexual harassment and the intervening time of the record. And when this gets published, best of luck to us all.

Bye. Bye. We just have a good rhythm together. You know, he sort of feels me out. I feel him out and we go for it.