The Worst Idea Of All Time - 17: Outside The Lines (w/ Amy Hoggart)

Episode Date: February 19, 2019

Writer/actor/comedian Amy Hoggart (Full Frontal with Samantha Bee) does not do stand-up, nor does she sh*t herself. She does however guest on this episode to discuss Charlotte’s abs, Lord Byron's philandering, incestuous relationships and Kim Cattrall's breasts and lack of tummy. Also, did someone f*** a dog in this film?Follow Amy: @amy_hoggart (Twitter) @amyhoggart (Instagram) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We just have a good rhythm together, you know, he sort of feels me out, I feel him out, and we go for it. Hello, and welcome along to episode 17 of the Worst Idea of All Time, a podcast in which Tim Batt and myself, Guy Montgomery, watch and review Sex and the City, the film, at pace. The film, At Pace. We have just finished our 17th screening and are joined by a very special guest who has just watched the film for the second time in her live long life, Amy Hoggart. Hi, everyone. Hi, Amy.

Hi. I mean, we're sitting next to each other. Are you going to say anything, Tim? Yeah, I was waiting for an in. Amy, it's so good to hear your voice. It's so good to hear yours, Tim. Thanks, man. That is all that's happening here.

We can't see. I mean, Amy and I are obviously in the same room here in New York. Tim, presumably in the studio in Graylin, Auckland, New Zealand, at Little Empire HQ. That's cool. I built it, Amy. We're just on a sofa. And by built it, I mean I put some microphones into a room,

and now it's a studio. Okay, we can say the same about Guy's sitting room then. Guy's sitting room is not a studio. I do not ordain it. Moments ago, you were quite dismissive of our environment. You said, we're just sitting on a couch. So now all of a sudden we're in a studio. Yeah, but then I felt like that's a studio suddenly

if there are microphones on it. Yeah, anything's a studio if you put two mics on it. Folks, you might know Amy from her work on full frontal with samantha b uh perhaps from bbc america's almost royal um or maybe you've caught her doing stand-up of which she is i assume very good no you got that last bit right you didn't let me up you blew it yeah you got it away you got it wrong at the end amy amy is she performs a lot but she stinks at stand up she's a real fucking writer uh no what what sort of live comedy do you do best i don't do any i didn't know when to chip in i used to do i used to do it but not for like five years

why'd you get out the game got out the game i wasn't really that into it, and I only did it to get more work. And then when I got more work, I stopped doing it, but then I stopped getting work. So it backfired. No, it didn't. You're gainfully employed here in New York City. I think about going back to it every now and then, and I just think, can you imagine starting out?

I have literally done just that here in new york and i can't imagine it and your guttural reaction to the very idea of it is on the fucking money uh you have to pay to play yeah i went to one of those mics it did not go well uh did you get your own money's worth i did not get my five dollars worth i don't think that the three remaining comics at the back end of the two and a half hour show i paid five dollars to perform on got their money's worth either neither from my set nor theirs they could have just watched sex in the city in that time that's right and honestly i think it's a measure of how bad that gig was that would be a more enjoyable and productive use of time fuck that is dire that is a real indictment

on whatever gig you dragged your bones to man it's called the people's open mic i think it's at 3 p.m on a sunday in manhattan at a bar called otto's shrunken head the guy who runs it is a fucking scam artist he's a psychopath and i will not stand for it i just plugged it though weirdly now yeah but in a pretty negative light it's i don't think if you i don't think like on the record criticism is a plug if you gave for like time locations i was like i could get myself down there for once on the back end of that recommendation whoever interprets that as a plug deserves to be at the show if you didn't get to the end of it, you'd already left to go. Yeah. That's true. I've used field runners in a podcast on the go.

Everyone sits in one fixed position and they cannot move until the audio is complete. You lunatic. Before guesting on a podcast, have you ever listened to one of these? I just listen to them every time I need to

plan my Sunday afternoon. God, I have to have some recommendations specific to the area I'm in. Oh, dear. Amy. Yeah? Before we get into the film, every single time, do not answer this question. Tim drags his fucking heels as hard as he can through the sand, the ash belt.

I thought you wanted to get to know me better. Fuck you. This isn't a bit. I want to hear from Amy. This is Tim. She's a guest on our podcast. She's a great guest. I want to hear how her year has been.

This is for off the mic. Thank you, Tim. And also, I believe that Tim and I last saw each other about a year ago. Something like that. Yeah, it would have been. Yeah. I've had a good year i think looking back through the months take us home what are some what are some no no yeah do you know what

i've traveled so much guess how many trips i've done i'm gonna say six nearly 35 what yeah 35 you guessed it tim I went the wrong way. It's too many. It's been highs, but it's also been too much. It's tiring to travel a lot. Yeah, but it's been fantastic opportunities. And some of those flights have been, if not business, maybe first class occasionally? Guy. No, but it's not like it's good.

Yeah, sometimes for work, I get flown in style. How cool is that? That is so cool to me. I never get used to it. I'm always grateful and I always say – All right, mate. We've spoken about it at length, though. I take everything they offer me.

Yeah, of course. I'm so drunk. I'm just pressing the chair all the time, all the buttons. Yeah, and it doesn't impact the person behind you because of the amount of space afforded. And I don't need space. If you've not looked me up by now, I don't need any space on a flight. That's right.

I remember from Googling you earlier that the first return is Amy Hoggart height. That's based on a previous search that Guy's done. I'm always too nervous to ask you. I need this information uh what was your favorite place that you went to oh tim i just really feel like you're doing everything guess

what i think my favorite place is relevant for the film then everyone's happy i went to mexico that's awesome i didn't i didn't shit myself i'm thinking i don't think i did because you would remember that yeah you you would times have you shit yourself recently i've never shot myself and i'm not the type of person who would lie about that i would be yeah point of order maybe maybe yeah point of order so here's someone who said i went to mexico and is like scanning their memory audibly invisibly for whether or not they shit themselves and then 20 seconds later to finally say i have never shit myself because i'm the type of person who would shit

tell us about your friend who recommended the movie to you when it was released in cinemas so i actually this is the second time i've seen it i saw it when it came out when i was at college at uni and uh my i just i started doing comedy you're welcome um so i was like already in a comedy troupe or whatever and a friend of mine was like you've got to see sex in the city it's so you it's exactly your type of comedy there's this amazing scene in it and i couldn't stop thinking about how much you'd love it and like it was like you'd written it oh my god that is damning it's if i wrote that scene guess what it would be better like you don't even see anything you just it's all done and posted the sound effects i want to see something embarrassing that's right she's got her bum facing a glass like a window and there's a cleaner inside

the cleaner doesn't even get we we want to see her POV. That's right. I remember when, like much later in the film, when Carrie is reassuring Charlotte that maybe she's had her allotment of bad luck this year because she showed herself in Mexico. You said, and this is verbatim, also this is like as though the thought has been plaguing you for the 45 minutes between. Also, we didn't see any poo.

That's what I really wanted. That was the thing missing from that scene. I can understand that. I didn't know you were wearing down. She's wearing very like sort of high fashion. It's not quite yoga pants. It's a very airy attire. It's kind of like almost a jumpsuit style of pants.

Can I quote that? They're very flared. As soon as she comes in in the outfit you're describing, he goes, fuck, she's ripped. It's brilliant. On the 17th of November, he checked out her abs. It's actually quite interesting because in hearing that back, I feel like it's at the point

17 screenings in you know i'm so relaxed around this movie it's like being around family where it's like you sort of just you say you're not even thinking about what's coming out of your mouth you know you're just reacting in real time there's no filter i remember everything you said it like you were jealous like in the way you talk about like a bodybuilder and be like oh god he's in good shape like you know how i'm always ogling those bodybuilders i i guess it just hadn't i think why it took me off guard and i said it was such intensity is i hadn't even really because i always noticed that uh carrie's sjp's character's ripped and it must be written into the is she yeah she she ever like both films she gets her abs out and she is absolutely cut to ribbons.

And I think because I haven't noticed that in Charlotte before, I was like, oh, whoa. But she's a runner. Yeah, but running doesn't give you that definition on your torso. You're talking to the wrong – yeah, no, I don't. I don't know what to say then. Literally say – you can say anything. Such is the beauty of this podcast. I really don't like the

bit where um samantha's got a bit of a tummy and i was a real bitch about it yeah it's insane it's we're kind of talked about this quite a lot because we were both when we first saw it really confused as to what the what the film was getting at like when they do their shot of her midriff it's kind of like because you see a bit of her cleavage and let's not kid around kim cattrall's got stonking breasts and there's a little bit of that at the top of the shot and then like but it's really weirdly framed and we were like why are we looking at her because she's also holding a dog it's like are we are we looking at the dog what are we looking at her tits what are we looking at here yeah and then they start making fat eyes

because there's so there's such a lack of discernible gut there that we could see that it was like it didn't even get yeah it's it's like it's pretty bad but it's even bad storytelling because it wasn't obvious to us what they were getting at you know i could not keep my eyes off her sweet tits guy's face when you described how good her boobs were, I was like... Your face was like... But you were just winking and smiling at me.

I was not! I was not winking at you! I was not winking and smiling. You laughed and I was like, yeah, he's funny. Tim's being funny. I thought it was like, yeah, that woman's right. How is there so much room for miscommunication between us? I corrected. Yeah, he's funny. Tim's being funny. Oh, I thought it was like, yeah, that woman's brown. That's how I turned out.

How is there so much room for miscommunication between us? He's so correct. No, I mean, but to her credit, 50 years old in this film and absolutely. Yeah, at the very end she turns 50, remember? And they say, to the next 50. And we laughed because we were like, you motherfuckers aren't going to live to 100. You don't know that. Well, not big.

We know that. Fucking guys in a shower. You know about the same age you see this the other i just told me it's a wild day i told amy about that amy actually had a great idea for a big spin-off um yeah i did that was a good idea of mine actually so when he i do my own reviews when he leaves the wedding why didn't he drive to a coffee shop reconnect with a friend that he hasn't seen since high school and then start his own spin-off which is the new friends because it's the opening of friends you know the start of friends famously rachel shows up ross is it going through his divorce and he says i i just want to be married again and then rachel walks into the cafe to visit monica her old friend and she's dressed in a

wedding gown she's just left a guy and chandler very quibbly says and i just want a million dollars uh but she's just jilted barry and so i guess the idea is i mean wouldn't you love to see this Tim? Wouldn't you just love to spend some time with whoever the fuck Big used to roll around with in high school? Absolutely I reckon it would be like a lacrosse teammate I think it's Kavanaugh don't you think?

It fucking is Sorry for making everything so topical Kavanaugh Oh yeah yeah absolutely yeah. Absolutely. There's a passing physical similarities between Big and him. No. Big doesn't shout, though, which I appreciate. There's one thing he's got over Supreme Court justice.

He doesn't get screamy and start wanging on about beer. That's the only good thing I'll say about big actually what's that he doesn't get screaming and wanging on about bear yeah you really didn't like but i don't like him how fucking good was that though and the brett kavanagh hearings just how much we discovered that man loves a bear there's something so bizarre about it it was it was so entertaining he loves beer he needs you to know it it's like how Big can't read, and he needs you to not know that because he's in charge of a lot of money. I don't know if Guy has clued you into all the lore that we've sort of created

through learning little tidbits through Sex and the City 2 and our 17 now watches of Sex and the City 1, but Mr. Big is illiterate. Is he? Yeah, he's managed to swindle his way absolutely which actually yeah high paying job that he is role well outside of his depth and uh and he he's melting down in this in this movie uh i actually can't remember i can't exactly retrace our footsteps but rest assured the research it's because in the second movie sex in the city

two ever heard of it mr big is in a um big office building and uh the guy he's a financier so he's like he's in charge of a lot of money he's throwing around a lot of money but when we see him in his office there's no computer whatsoever in there um there's a there's a screen on the wall but there are no keyboards there's no there's like a tally it's like a tv input yeah it's very odd so he's there's no clue that he he is literate and that makes it all the sweeter and sex in the city one where he is um do you say transposing if it's just words he He's copying all of the famous love letters from other people because he doesn't know how to write. So he's literally just copying the symbols of the letters.

And it also ties in with another fan theory or not, just an observation you made, which was the night before the wedding. And I actually love your take on this, Tim. I love Amy. I love guys. was oh my gosh uh he was writing his vows the night before of course because if you can't read and write and you've hidden this from your soon-to-be wife for as long as you've been together like of course it's embarrassing to like right before the wedding be like oh by the way babe i might need some help with my vows because i'm illiterate especially because she's a writer

you took real umbrage with the fact he was doing it the night before it's so fucking lazy you don't write your own vows in the uk really it's not a thing but it's a big thing here and i think it's so important in the states that you should give it a bit more thought. Tim, did you write your own vows? I did. Yep, Zoe and I write our own vows. And how soon before the wedding did you do that? Oh, shit.

I'm worried. I think it was one of those things where it was a draft for a long time that I keep coming back to and shopping. But you're saying you did the work and, you know, shopping. So what you're saying, you did the work. Yeah, man, absolutely. Picking up sentences from pre-written vows website. Yeah. You don't fuck around with wedding vows.

He keeps quoting Byron and that annoyed me loads because Byron is like not, he was always cheating on everyone. I think he had an incestuous relationship as well. Like he's the worst guy to be quoting to someone that you're trying to have a monogamous lifelong relationship with like he's got everything wrong but he's big isn't digging for lord byron carrie brings the library book into the bedroom and she reads him lord byron she gets it wrong and then he continues to get it wrong near the end when he quotes byron yeah so he's never written his own vows he's never written his own words he's just quoting a philandering

incestuous you're obsessed with the idea of byron after his sister i do it's something like that i need to look it up but i think it's like his half sister his step sister or something i'd just like to go into bat not not for big nor byron, but just, I feel like there's... Get in there, Guy. Defend. I feel like there's validity to making love to blood family members. And moreover, I think we'll gloss over that powerful point

I'd like to make. I want to get back to the incest thing, so bookmark that, but what do you want to say, Guy? Do they listen to the podcast? One of my sisters listens to the podcast yeah uh and the whole one both of them are hot amy you piece of shit they're my sisters i'm not gonna pick favorite both of them are really sexy but i think there's validity in right like you know writing your vows

the night before like it's not like the writing process isn't all just putting the stuff down on paper. Part of it is walking around, letting the ideas circulate, prepare themselves to spill forth. And I feel like doing it the night before, if you back yourself, I mean, in this instance,

it's obvious that Big's just a nervous wreck who's illiterate and doesn't want to get married to his bride-to-be. So maybe not in this particular instance, but I wouldn't write that off in real life entirely okay i do feel like i've been too critical no amy back yourself he hasn't even started the process of committing anything to paper you also didn't like the way he was writing it i i just i i worry that like i'm a geeky person who would put more work into it and and i should let people have their own styles like maybe he has been thinking about it yeah but you did you didn't like that he was writing it in

his big leather bound i loathe everything about him so i was like oh leather folio and then i was like actually don't that's not a valid criticism that's it's made that's not you that's just businessman you know yeah it's a legal pad it's this big book of ideas. So back to the incest thing. I have a question. Do you think it counts as incest if it's a cousin, if it's a first cousin? Is that incest? Oh.

First cousin. Because in that case, Einstein, also incestuous. I mean, as a brat, like a lot of our... Family? No, no, no. But like the royal family, they will see me with their own cousins. There is a tree where the branches start to turn into the trunk pretty quickly, eh? I don't know.

I don't fancy any of my cousins. No. That's good. I'll go on the record as co-signing to Amy's statement. I'm also not attracted to any of her cousins. I don't fancy any of Amy's cousins, but you should see my cousins, man. Are they as sexy as your sisters? You can't double down on this, but...

Absolutely. No good, man. Hey, Amy, we've got a segment on the podcast uh called the shining light where we um talk about what our i know because guy told me and i don't know i will keep talking to buy to buy you valuable seconds where we reveal um one part of the movie that we genuinely did like on this watch uh this is your second watch was there any single moment anything will do in the film delivered by anyone that you like it can be a feeling that the movie conjured in you um i've got to say just while amy uh pauses for thought that and i observed this to her so i've seen this movie 17 times i think that

the sort of snark and the way i bristle at certain moments of the film is not necessarily earned but to be expected amy was operating on the same level of fury and vitriol as i was and also driving the car like i try to create a neutral environment so that it's like the person who i'm watching with say as a guest can react however they feel i was overjoyed by your response to a lot of this film i was angry driving yeah and but while angry driving was there anything you drove past and you're like oh that's nice okay i thought of something and the way that i thought about it and this is a tip for your future guests is i thought if i had to watch a scene again, which scene would I least mind watching? That's not a bad idea. So I really

like Charlotte's daughter. She's a serious cutie pie. And I like all the scenes where she's, I like all the scenes with her and them, just her. And it's cute when she says sex into the phone and Guy remarked that I did laugh out loud

but that was like 45 minutes into the film when she wrote this down 45 minutes in i laughed that's the first time good god when she hands the um valentine's day uh card oh no wait what is it is it valentine's day she gives something to carrie it's just an invitation it's around halloween it's it's not i don't even know if it's a holiday card it's just like a general hey carrie thinking of you card it's a little gift is it no because she gets posted the valentine's day card so it must be some like a little tiny box of chocolates or something but she gives it to carrie and that is a genuinely adorable moment that the yeah the child actor is gorgeous unless you look at the details of the

card it's a fucking mess. She's taken an orange crown and just run riot over the border. That did annoy me. Just cast someone who's better at making cards. I did also like, you know, kids at that age are so purposeful and determined about doing the stupidest shit. And I like it when she's got that cupcake purse and she puts the phone in,

like she knows what she's up to. I really, that's a good, because a lot of things happen in that film. We're like, why did that character do? There's no reason for that. But I understand a child purposely doing that.

Yeah. Only because there's no reason kids do anything. So that's a bit of an easy thing to write into your film. Then the kid did this because I don't know, she's four. That's the only bit of an easy thing to write into your film then the kid did this because i don't know she's four that's the only bit that was that was the way that mattress pikelet king wrote all of the characters in this film he what's that it's the name of the director writer director producer i said what's that which is a clue to me not thinking that i but he wrote all of them as toddlers and then just but cast people

stuck with the original cast from the tv show what was your shining light tim sounds like a tough week for timber can i um i want to reveal something about my watch this week i really was on my phone a lot i really felt like i was i know i know to the to the point where i'm almost ready to like text myself a watch which is devastating because we've watched it a bit in the last little while but like i was taking the piss today um i was there like it was it was on headphones firmly in place like audio wise there was no escaping it and i was i was looking at it you know but i was definitely on my phone a lot um you weren't mindfully focusing on it

i wasn't for it i wasn't and i'm very committed to that and i often chastise guy when i know that he has sort of been mentally cheating on the film because what's the point in doing this stupid podcast if we don't do it right, you know? I do like that you threw Guy under the bus while you were meeting your own. That's not true. A psychology graduate and a mediator. Which I mentioned earlier. Here for the record.

I actually found Guy very committed. He made himself a coffee. He made us both two teas, which weren't very nice, but that was my tea bag, so it's my fault. And he went to loo once once but otherwise he was pretty engaged and he was quoting the show slightly in advance of the lines that the film yeah also at one point started singing a song that was about to come in the next scene to me while looking at me like do you know what it was yeah see this is the sort of thing i'm talking about where i'm too the movie it doesn't make me like i'm still tense but i think it blurs the lines of social normalcy because i i

i don't think was it okay that i sang that to you before it came in i mean it didn't ruin the surprise but it wasn't like upsetting in any way no it's just so confusing because you're singing it like i would know what it was yeah yeah see that what it was i remember my shining light you too i remember it because i actually messaged guy and guys forgot that i did this as well but i did it at the time when it came on in the movie um so the gals are having a catch-up at the cafe and swapping notes about how often they are having sex because miranda's nervous about the fact that she hasn't had sex with her husband for six months. Controversially, actually before that came out,

but before all of the details of how recently Charlotte and Steve had had sex, Amy said, you know what? Four and a half hours, that's not enough sleep. I'm with Miranda on this one. Thank you. Yep. It's good to know where you stand on that one immediately after that carrie goes uh after carrie says the disgusting thing about big

not coloring in the lines she goes home and they fucking awful and it is gross i i actually like i i i want to insert this because uh you said what does that even mean am? And I think it's a question that a lot of us have asked. So long as we have a guest, Tim, I suggest a segment called Outside the Lines. Please, please proceed. Are you interrupting the segment to suggest a new segment? Yeah, so this is called Outside the Lines. We're here all the time, Amy.

I want as much Amy as possible on this episode. Outside the Lines with Amy Hoggart. So just pretty much because it's a very visceral line. Yeah. I think I know what it means. Go ahead. But I don't know why she would say that. We don't know what you're talking about.

Amy will say as well that Guy and I have multiple times articulated what we believe it is. And based on your little laugh there. Ass assured tone yeah i think we're on the same page but we want you to say it um i think she means that this is adorable i think she means that when he... You can do this, Amy. Cast aside that British reservedness. I don't think that I'm not English. Are you taking a picture or are you filming?

He's filming. I think that she says, she means that when Big ejaculates, he does it everywhere. I don't know why you would say I don't know why it's always

yeah well my guy he always comes everywhere he doesn't put it he doesn't put it where it should be very good is that what you guys think He doesn't fit it where it should be. Very good. Is that what you guys think? How often do you interpret it?

There's no other way to take it in. The man is coming all over everything. Everywhere that he's not meant to. The thing is as well, we're all adults here. Jizz is a tricky old substance to get out of stuff sometimes. Like, if he's getting in and, hey, you know, like stains and whatnot. Yeah. I've heard this hasn't happened in a situation I've been involved in, but I've heard terrible things about it getting in people's eye

and that being a complete nightmare. You know, it's stains, clothes. She's got a lot of nice dresses. I can imagine a crumpled dress on the floor. Big's going hog wild as he is wont to do. I mean, this is the beauty of it. It's not planned. It's not pointed.

There's no politics to what he's doing. It's literally, like, it's not outside the lines and here it's literally just this is what i imagine and this might be a little too uh too much for this this podcast's general tone but i imagine he and carrie have have pretty sort of normal sex and just before he is due to climax he kind of finishes himself he like stands up and finishes himself up and just whatever's in the way fucking what is the man doesn't care come on he's like a cowboy shooting cans blind drunk i i think he stands up shuts his eyes spins around 10 times and then he runs in a straight line and ejaculates into whatever the first thing he hits is. That's the only way he can't

come. Carrie's worked so hard to whittle it down to a sexy and sort of coy way of describing the fucked up behaviour of her severely concussed former lacrosse playing partner. And to be honest, the word economy on how she describes it

is very good. Siri thinks I'm talking to her i don't want to know what siri's gonna call me this is happening this in the last four days i have heard so many podcasts that have triggered siri in the room while they've been recording it's like it's just started happening it's so weird anyway um can i go back to my shining light you've just please yeah yeah no Amy, you go. She was just going to say that you're... No, it was...

Is my voice going weird? Yeah. Hopefully the listeners won't hear that, but who knows? This thing's... It's a fucking rickety old ship we're running here, mate. No, you're back, Tim. You sound like your old self. For those of you wondering what happens

occasionally on this connection uh tim's voice goes up very high and slightly accelerated like like a chipmunk yeah like a chipmunk so you're shining light please so there they are on the balcony having a big old smooch carrying big after this conversation and um the music that plays in the background is this kind of like low sexy i don't know what genre you'd describe it as it's like it's not quite lounge it's like sexy in there it's like a real soft slow jazz sort of thing and the only lyrics is just a woman's voice going kisses kisses and you just say the word kisses twice it's in your second cousin

the one who moved to the states but it's just so it's real dumb and i love it i've heard it so many times now and i've never brought it up but it's so stupid it's i love the the idea of um that i can't think of a good example now but in comedy movies where they'll go to the trouble of like soundtracking it and making some songs that have dumb lyrics and you only kind of pick it up if you've really got your ears pricked up and it feels like they're doing it there. Like they are taking the piss.

I don't know that it was an Easter egg for comedy. It's more of a tonal feel. The musical choices, as always, the music does quite a lot of heavy lifting for mood. The Disney music at the beginning was blowing my mind what yeah because what you were saying oh because they were scored you said they scored beethoven they scored beethoven so she's reading out poetry by beethoven under or over horrible like disney star music and i'm like definitely don't score score beethoven so. No one's thought it through.

This is when they're in bed. And she's reading from her old library book. It really feels like they're taking a lot of attempts to seem intellectual, but they're doing it in a very uncultured way. They're just kind of cramming in quotes and ramming in Beethoven and jizzing outside the lines. The classic thing to say if you don't read is to talk about the feel or smell of books. So she gets into bed and she's like, oh, books smell so good.

And I just think you're used to what you do with books. And then there's this other shot of Miranda just like in front of a load of books. And that's the only, she references work. There's also the shot of samantha it's just so disrespectful to me sitting on the beach reading a book if you're not enjoying it you put it down and you sort of frustratedly look at it or like go on your phone she just hurls it over her left shoulder like i probably killed a crab or whatever this fucking thing uh it was the secret.

All books are not created equal, you know? No, but even if you don't like it, someone will get value out of it. Also, not only do you think Carrie doesn't read, you don't think she writes. She didn't really write. She wrote love at one point. She has so much money.

Yeah. I don't understand it. And the whole film is just a love letter to money i would love to know the in every film there's a bit of world building that goes on we're transported to a slightly different place from the one we are that's like the whole escapism thing what is the fucking economic model inside of this version of new york city like carrie bradshaw is the other bit that gets me is samantha i know samantha jones is doing well as an agent with one client her boyfriend yeah um so she moves to los angeles or broke up with yeah fuck i didn't think about that she's really

next to a sole source of income when she did that um her shopping trip just looks like the most expensive shit i've ever seen in my life where she's like not getting any sex so she decides to go buy things instead it's crazy it's so weird she spends so much money and then she's constantly flying back and forth from la to new york for the each scene yeah i know she travels in style first class baby it um it loses all impact when she turns up at the apartment when they're cleaning out carrie's apartment because you've just seen her like 20 seconds ago and they do it like this big reveal we're supposed to be excited to see savannah's like yeah yep and the other element of it is she's carrying those two bottles of champagne and that shits me more than it needs to because it's like they're all so rich in this movie yeah it's not it's not exciting to them it's

like they could be drinking that whenever they want anyway so why is their friend who they see all the time with the thing they drink all the time remotely notable that's the music doing the lifting because you're because that's the scene where it's actually quite like uplifting they're packing up her house and stuff and she's trying these clothes on but if i was like call my friends around and i was like could you pack on my apartment with me and then instead of packing anything up i made them sit on my bed and watch me put my clothes on and i think they'd be really angry that's also i don't know how much like it's totally up to you how much you want to dig into this but that's run dmc so it's also up to you how much you want to dig into this, but that's Run DMC.

So it's also these four rich white women who are kind of bastardizing a real classic hip-hop track to inject some energy into their fucking movie. This came out in 08, Amy. Can you imagine? I bring this up a lot, but like the global financial crisis is happening and this comes out at cinemas. Like you got people losing their jobs and their pensions. That was credit crunch time. That was the phrase you were using then. this comes out at cinemas like you got people losing their jobs and their pensions it's like

such that was credit crunch time because that's what the phrase you're using then you you said it the state is so exciting we've both moved to new york you know it's perfect that we're watching this here but the issue is that the cat we're not dealing with the characters who have just moved or making their way in new york you know i'm assuming through how many eight seasons i think or maybe even 10 seasons of the show we've seen them accumulate wealth you know i mean for for their lifestyles to function as they do in this movie literally all of the tv show sex in the city would have just been these four women at work yeah yeah yeah yeah just hustling it's funny how there's I did and I think because we're watching it now 10 years later

we're all we're in a different political climate and I keep thinking like I don't care about your wealthy white person problems like it's all or there aren't really any massive problems in the film but it's all just like the first few scenes are just Carrie meeting her friends, being like, Oh my God, something great's happened. Like he's asked me to move in with him. We're getting married. Like there's not a great apartment. I've got a great apartment,

but she keeps setting up that there's something bad, but there isn't. And they're constantly shopping and there aren't, there's only like one black person in it. And then she, and she's like easily the best character. She comes along to fix everything. Yeah.

She's the assistant. She just solves these non-problems, and I just think that you couldn't really get away with a film like that right now. Sarah Jessica Parker's actually acknowledged that the show could not exist, and probably, I think, the film's a part and parcel of what she was saying.

We should separate it out the tv show good i think i think we can probably or hopefully i don't know amy do you did you watch the tv show when it was like first coming out i didn't when it was first coming out but then i had a roommate sorry i have a cough and a roommate i had a roommate who had all the dvds and we were living with each other when we were studying, and we would unwind by watching Sex and the City, and I really liked it. But I don't think it stands up now anymore.

But that's okay. Nothing will, really. It's not as bad as the film. When a show or any piece of art is made so in the zeitgeist of the moment, it's like the thing that makes it so powerful will be the thing that dates it so quickly as well. Sex and the City created the zeitgeist at the moment it's like the thing that makes it so powerful will be the thing that dates it so quickly as well sex in the city created the zeitgeist though this is what we talked about in the last episode with becky is that it was a show that you know presented uh friendship between women in a way that hadn't really been like that hadn't been represented

in the mainstream properly before but it annoys me because i don't think they present female friendship that well i think they show you in the show or in the movie i can't remember the show well enough but i think in both and certainly in the film the women's friendship is lunching and dining and everything together they'll physically sort problems out like hey we're going on your honeymoon with you i've ordered bill you know people to box your things up but anytime anyone says anything about themselves that they're struggling with someone brings it back to themselves so it's all the conversations about emotional problems are a statement and then someone going oh it's the same with me and my relationship so true they talk about themselves and that's not the strength that's not what any friendship is and it's making

women these are very selfish narcissistic women who do you like the best that that is such an astute observation amy because i i didn't get that for like a couple rounds but the script i was always like the script is really there's something weird about all this dialogue and it's exactly what you just described there's like a statement and then someone goes oh yeah that's like me and then another one of the girls would be like oh that's like me and like no one's really interacting with each other they're just seeing an opening and projecting their issues there's no connection at all and there's so much like you know when they're on in mexico and they're having that dinner in the hotel and miranda's just saying well don't get

married to this like marriage sucks or something to this couple who've just gone married and they're making out passionately and she's angry because she got cheated on and it's like your friend just got jilted at her wedding why are you talking about yourself why are you saying you bring your own shit just like anyone else would not be talking about it right then um but they yeah they can't connect like none of their none of their lives or problems are interesting enough to warrant conversation let alone a whole movie well i think that's the problem with it and when i was writing my notes which i stopped doing because i did i did get so bored but um there's not really a plot

if you were to describe what happened, you wouldn't really be able to neatly tell me. There isn't like a one strong narrative with connecting narrative lines underneath it that's just like Carrie's relationship. And at no point in the film do you know what her problem is that needs resolving because she doesn't know whether she wants to get back with Big. she just kind of ends up lying on top of him at the end so i there's no clear problem and no clear i think at any point the the problem that carrie's got in this

first movie is that mr big refuses to ejaculate into appropriate places i think that is it. For example, a condom, a vagina. I'd like to say I disagree. I don't think that's the problem with their relationship. Carrie's been so accommodating to the point that she's learned to love Big's reckless approach to orgasm. That's what she says her sex life is. I think for Big, it's almost like, well, here's purportedly the perfect woman who would tolerate any of my eccentricities or bizarre behaviors, and yet it's still not enough.

And it is from there that he spirals into this jilting panic attack. That is a classic hallmark, I think, of men in power. You give them anything and they just want more. in the world of the movie, this great, accomplished, well-to-do New York writer, great independent woman who you've been in love with for 10 years, and she's accepted your random jizzing escapades, and it's not enough. You just got to self-destruct.

It's never enough, and it's such a flimsy jilting. That really annoyed me when they're trying to heighten the drama. He gets cold feet. distracts you know never enough and it's such a flimsy jilting that i was gonna that really annoyed me when they're trying to heighten the drama of he gets cold feet he just thinks if only she would pick up her phone that would mean i would marry her and then when he's that's ridiculous he doesn't need someone to pick up the phone he needs to talk it through or that he needs something more significant and then he sees her getting out the car and he says, turn around, baby, and she doesn't turn around.

And then he drives off. And that's also a really flimsy bit of drama because we're meant to be like, oh, if she'd just turned around or, oh, if the kid had not put her phone in the sparkly cupcake pack. They have all these fake bits of drama that don't make any sense. Well, speaking of, my shining light actually fell inside of one of these moments. And it was two weeks in a row

or two eps in a row for the great Chris Noweth. When, after the jilting's occurred and she's gotten through to him and he said, I was just there, I'm leaving.

And she goes, what the hell? And he realizes he's fucked up and they he stops the car they turn the car around and then as he's going back they he sees the bridal party driving past in the other direction and he steps out and carrie steps out and they sort of meet on the road and she runs up from carrying this big bouquet which she didn't need to come out of the car carrying that bouquet i guess it's a weapon but he runs up to her and he goes, Carrie. And then she strikes him on the face with this bouquet of white roses. And it's like, it's his face after he's struck.

It reads as, huh, that's weird. It seems like Carrie's pissed off with me. And it's just such a funny face to pull. It's like, of course you're going to get hit with. Like, fucking read the street, buddy. You just ruined her wedding. The woman you just jilted is running at you, carrying an object or an instrument.

With thorns, maybe. Yeah. Anyway, I thought it was so funny. I feel like it was only then that it occurred to him, beyond ramifications for himself, that the jilting had occurred and that Carrie was now cross. And it's so annoying that that point, sorry,

you go, I mean, well, he's, he's, I think I'm right. He's gone back to maybe marry her, right?

Like something's made him turn the car around this point. He does want to marry her, but her hitting him with the flowers is what stops it. So again, as the audience were meant to think, oh, they nearly did it again, but that's fake drama. That doesn't, he would say, I say i want to marry you don't i understand you're angry with me but

i want to marry you like that's not enough to put someone off and then the stuff with the when later she's like i don't hear from him to her assistant so make sure he can't hear from me we all know he's going to be trying to contact you as a very easy solution to that so again there's not satisfying problems like that it's like the writers aren't good they kind of know how drama works but they aren't good enough to properly execute writer singular and all the characters were written as toddlers so it's really important you remember this there's a there's a pixar rule that relates to this how does it go it's like um coincidence to get you into a problem is good coincidence to get you out of a problem is bad in terms of writing something like that

and in this movie there's like the phone and that sort of stuff it's coincidence that creates drama and it's like bad lazy writing um in big's mind the way that this plays out is he gets struck with the rose or like sorry he doesn't get struck with the roses he stops the car by the way after he realizes hey i was just uh telling amy that it is mattress pikelet pen pen this thing by himself he has the strength of my writing room he has the strength of ten writers. Do not come into my writing room. He has the strength of teen writers, though. He's just him in a bar, crying and typing. I reckon he wrote this on a typewriter, like a genuine old... What are they called?

I think he hired like five toddlers and watched them interact with each other for a weekend and wrote it all down. And underwood. Yeah. Anyhow, you think he wrote it on a typewriter, but you're talking about Big. Big, in his brain, this is how it plays out stops the limo sees carrie she gets out of the car he's like hey man sorry about that let's go back in there and then they do and it's fine can you

imagine how embarrassing it would be to just have all of your guests at this point they they're already both 20 minutes late we know that that when the call, 25 minutes late, when the phone call happens, this driving sequence adds at least like from that moment about another half hour and then they've got to get back to the church, or sorry, the library where they're getting married. So I'm going to round it up to an even hour. So these wedding guests, and this is a very highfalutin thing.

We know that there's a lot of like fashionistas and socialites who have been attracted by this vivian westwood dress so they're just cruising just sitting around for an hour how fucking crushing would that be to walk in and be like oh yeah sorry he bailed but um he i've trapped him again so we good we're gonna get out the idea of big and carry trying to make everyone sit back down as they walk in to go through at the wedding is devastating look we're running out of time and there's a theory that amy stumbled into uh i found it really exciting i think it ties in quite nicely with something we've spoken about this season tim uh now amy when big no when steve confessed to cheating on miranda the next scene we see Steve on the bed with their dog,

a Border Collie, and Miranda walks in. And the dog jumps off. Oh, boy. And I was like, I know what he's been cheating on her with. And then later, Charlotte's like, I'm pregnant. She never says it's Harry's. There's so many people or things have been fucking so the the theory because i didn't tell you this at the time but i got the

first bit it was gross but i got it i don't know what steve's fucking his way through this because the theory that tim and i had is that steve and smith jarrett yeah through like uh mutual frustration in their relationships with two women who move in the same circle of friends and also are similarly self-absorbed and frustrating as partners, get so annoyed by this that they wind up having casual sex that develops into somewhat of a relationship. But you've built out this world you've

brought in the idea by saying steve's not like he's not just he's not faithful to smith either he's not like he's not into monogamy at this point in his life he is literally fucking everyone and thing within dick's reach i also like okay first of all i disagree with you guys because smith has a lower sex drive. That's Samantha's problem. That's probably why having sex with Sam wasn't enough for Steve. It's just a coincidence. Well, I do think, yeah, he says something like, I've been cheating on you.

I've slept with someone else. And I just think if they change it to I've slept with someone else. if they change it to I'm supposed to know it was something else it was honestly Amy in my 17 watches have I ever connected those dots that is amazing

he says afterwards it didn't mean anything which also makes sense because it was a dog this adds such an interesting dimension to uh a man who we have put a lot of baggage on already um for example steve is the mayor of new york city in our version of events and the second movie got rich selling dictionaries door to door and he's also the father of Brady is in the film. Brady becomes a rat king where he descends into the underground sewer system of New York City and befriends some of the rats

to start off with and then eventually becomes their reigning sovereign, exacting his revenge on all of those who have harmed him through his united rodent force. Partially through negligence from his parents who are navigating their lives in a breakup instead of you know providing the necessary emotional care to help him grow into a well-rounded person mag mag does in cahoots with brady by the way brady is the only one powerful enough to take on dick bot which is an artificial intelligence created by the japanese to take on the Americans, which we see in Sex and the City 2 because Samantha fucks it. We could retread this water all day, but we are almost...

It's going to be a six-hour special. I don't think that's necessary. Now, you have a game you like to play, Tim, called Flop Piss. No. What's it called? I don't like this running game oh wait a minute hey what was the um what was the fucking thing that we committed to last episode the game you made up that i said before you revealed what it was we have to do it every year and then i hated it oh yeah no that was uh that was steve that was um i don't want to bother you i don't want to bother you people uh which is when steve i mean so when steve shows up at the he shows up outside the rehearsal dinner and he's like he says to he says to the four of them who

are enjoying a legal cuban cigar goes i don't want to bother you and then because you're not bothering us and then before steve there's a it goes shot on Steve, shot on the group, then shot back on Steve. And before Steve says his piece, he has this wicked glint in his eye that suggests he actually really does want to bother these people. That maybe Steve's entire purpose for traveling across town in a taxi is specifically to bother these people. I ask you, Amy, what you think steve was up to i thought

that he if you know there's a party going on you know there's a toilet yes yes i'm with you totally so he needs the loo he's traveling around the city he doesn't want to have to buy you to buy an expensive horrible drink to use a toilet the other day today today and he knows there's a party there so he goes on and then he sees everyone outside and he says can i can i use the loo i don't want to bother you but i do need the toilet is it number ones or number twos? Oh, well, it could be number two and then it could foreshadow what's going to happen to Charlotte. Oh, I see.

Yes, right, right, right. Also, I mean, there's a high chance he's showing up just to case the joint for potential fuckery. I can't, there are only a pet's allowed at this party. I heard Samantha's got a dog. That looks like a rat.

Do I think that he's ever slept with Big? Has he ever had his lines not coloured in by Big? Exactly. That's the question I'm asking. It's so nice. Sorry, I just won't get over this how she's like, let's just

say, and that's the best thing about her sex life is it comes everywhere. This is a writer who specializes on sex in relationships. It's so weird Carrie, I don't know if I'm making up connections here and if I am all power to me, but in the series series Sarah Jessica Parker

I think quite uh famously was the only one of the three the four leads sorry who doesn't get her kid off and then even in the film she like not it's not just a question of getting a kid off she won't even divulge anything sexual about her relationship I mean accidentally she reveals a huge thing but that might explain the line if it's in her contract now agents were like sjp will not say anything about her sex life unless it's a coloring in metaphor that's the only way she'll do it it's gotta be and then like on the contrary they farm out the two oh apart from the uh dante and the you know parade of people who he has sex with next door to Samantha, they farm out the really graphic set. Because Sex and the City did portray sex on screen in a way that hadn't been focused on the way it's experienced by a woman.

You saw people fuck, is what Guy's trying to say. People fucked on that show. I remembered it. When we were watching it just now, I was like, oh, I remember a sex scene. I was like, I love Steve. And I was like, I remember him and Miranda having sex once. And then Guy was like, I think that scene's in the film. And I really,

I've never forgotten it. For the tone of the rest of the film, it's like, this is what it looks like when two people fuck. It's very passionate. Yeah, it is. I'll be thinking about that later i don't mind you knowing that one of my notes by the way is expensive boner two exclamation marks i don't know what that oh

that's about the the gag when she says i've got to go something came up and smith has put the case in which the diamond ring is inside of his jockeys as though it's a boner did you want to speak to that amy didn't like it didn't like the fact that i don't the idea of you like if i was doing my own thing and someone just came up with their boner i'd be like a little bit annoyed and i maybe that makes me sound bad and maybe my boyfriend will listen to this and be like yeah that's a problem for us it just annoyed me and then also i would if if my if i wanted to buy something and my boyfriend was like i made you think for a while that you couldn't get it and then i paid like

five times the amount i needed to to get it by bidding in a bit being in a bidding war i'd be so angry with the waste of money yeah doesn't make any sense why he did that fucking ludicrous it's a disgusting ring as well and it is horrible significant later it's gross it looks like look at the ring it's one you would win from an arcade if you had 150 tickets on the boxing machine when you're 10 it's so garish or like that in a in a christmas cracker you know and there's always a gift yeah and then they all aren't spent a bit more money on the crackers this year, but they're still crackers so it's not that much money.

That's the gift you get inside. And then you know you're going to leave it on the table anyway. Smith Garrett. By the end of the night. Spent $50,000 fucking dollars on that Christmas cracker, right? Was it $50,000? So long as we're here, Tim, I will fulfill your desire to play the Pop Quiz

game because I observed the auction house in which this auction takes place. Can I just say, you brought this up, but go on. Oh yeah, but it's your game. You love it. Yep. I don't like it anymore. I want to get rid of it. Okay, we can do that. This will be the last one. Also, we have to resolve

whatever the fuck I asked in the last episode because I can't remember what it was. Actually, I might be able to look at them. So the question for this episode is, what is the auction house at which the girls go and bid on the divorce auction items? Oh, no. Because the game is so Tim and I pay attention. We do a pop quiz.

So we ask one random question about a specific detail from the film. Just to make sure we're paying attention. No, he's just upset. ask one random question about a specific detail from the film just to make sure we're paying attention he's just upset and i've already revealed remember that i was not paying as much attention as i should have been this time fuck is it is it like so i'm gonna assume that this is only visual right no one sees it but it's like probably on a wall or on an exterior shot of the auction house can you at least give me that? Yeah, as they walk past. I've got nothing.

So Carrie's bragging about her apartment. She walks past. Christy's? Yes. Oh, no. That's really weird. That's the only auction house I know. It's the second time you've.

Oh, man. This is embarrassing for me. I'm embarrassed. Very impressive. Now, Tim, the question I asked you last week was what colour are the uniforms of the maids at the Mexican resort and you

assured me that you'd pay enough attention to relay the information to me. Well you told me you told me last time it was yellow with a from memory blue trim oh well I've fucked it then haven't I yeah but that's okay I remembered you telling me I don't remember seeing it this week because I was probably on yellow with a white trim uh man it's a great website you gotta fire that stuff out i mean another really angry note oh yeah what it was

this is this is your parting shot i underlined it okay i've written down and i've underlined it twice that's not how diarrhea works it isn. You don't open your mouth in the shower and then you get gurgles immediately. No. You are someone who has not even shat herself. I've never shat myself. But you're obsessed with toilet you want to see poo everywhere.

I'm the type of person who's relishing themselves. I've never been so lucky. Amy, thank you so much. Thank you for having me i'm so sorry uh amy hoggett tell us where what we should watch you on and um where we can find you i'm on full frontal with samantha b where can we get you on twitter i'm gonna put it in the episode description as well but where can we find you on on twitter and whatnot what do you use are you an instagram person um yeah yeah every now and then i shouldn't say that i'm a reliable follow it's just my name amy hoggart and then there's an underscore for twitter which i think i'm a bit better at beautiful but not much follow her on that thanks for coming on the show amy we love you lots thank you for having me we love you lots. Thank you for having me. We love you more. I love you.

We just have a good rhythm together, you know. He sort of feels me out, I feel him out. And we go for it.