The Worst Idea Of All Time - 18: Cheesecake Factory

Episode Date: April 26, 2023

This episode is accidentally being released out of the order in which it was recorded because Tim f***ed up (sue me!)Brought to you by The Cheesecake Factory, this watch of F8 sees Tim in his native of Auckland and Guy across the ditch in Australia. Guy can mentally only categorise this film as a collection of GIFs, rather than cinema, on this watch and is addressing one of the elephants in the room. Tim attempts to defend the flick by discussing modern Hollywood's move to make every blockbuster movie into a theme park ride for the eyes and ears, whilst having a hard time reconciling his horrible work with his beautiful family life. This highbrow discussion is railroaded by both of fellaz being absolutely fascinated by American food chain, The Cheesecake Factory, who sponsored this episode.THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY - VISIT ONE OF OVER 300 GLOBAL LOCATIONS, TODAYSee Guy LiveSee Tim LiveSupport the podcast (and see video episodes) on Substack Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Music Music Music Music Music Music 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Hello everybody and welcome to the worst idea of all time Guy and I are away from each other because Guy is in Australia In the past when we recorded this, our present

But one thing that is undeniable and universal is that we have watched the fate of the furious again yeah we've watched it for the seventh time and i really enjoyed that little breakdown on uh how time works tim because you know obviously for for the person listening to this this was done in the past um and to us you'll listen to this in the in the future but confusingly the conversation's happening right now an hour present an hour present that's right um and it's before we sort of get into the um should we address the elephant in the room okay we're wearing pretty similar sweater i bought a new sweater it looks it looks it looks pretty similar to guys both

wearing gray sweaters today oh i was gonna do a bit i thought we were doing a joke i was gonna say like hello elephant um that's classic montgomery right there yeah that is right out of the books yeah we i mean we we're wearing similar outfits i got a hat on you don't i got a haircut though and you haven't said anything i'm not your wife tim she never notices yeah it's funny to go to you that's a classic one-way street eh yeah it is um chelsea notices i actually chelsea had a really traumatic experience as a child um with haircuts where i i think i'm i think i'm not yeah yeah not that traumatic but um she was like her mom was late to pick her up from school

and her mom showed up and had like had throughout the day had had some sort of haircut which like totally changed her face and hair and chelsea i think was overwhelmed by like having to wait she was the last one there like being late and just saw her and burst out crying and then i found out early in our relationship i got a haircut without telling her i was getting a haircut and she like i came home and she'd like didn't say anything outright but she just sort of looked at me real different and treated me like super different and we got to the bottom of it and she needs to be told um i can dude i can appreciate that i yeah i i get it you know like i can understand what's going on there i think um here's very here's very important full stop and I think for some people it's even more important than the baseline.

And I think there can be a weird sort of attachment to the person in the hair. Yeah. Well, it's just, you know. There's all that weird stuff with hair as well. You know, like if you go through a big period of grief and you cut your hair, that's like a real big thing for humans. Really? Yeah. period of grief and you cut your hair that's like a real big thing for humans really yeah i know i do know that it like you know often you look to the hair and it reflects someone's mental you know like if someone does something drastic with their hair it's always like oh they've gone through

something you know they're going through or they've just gone through something i think that's the thing i'm talking about i thought where you were going with that is if you see someone doing something fucking crazy look at their hair and you can indicate whether it's like gonna be all right or not they got a real bird's nest going on keep your distance don't ask any questions and avoid eye contact yeah if it's tidy take out your camera film it it's probably going to be pretty sick oh lord i, that's what I mean. And I respect the, I respect bald men. I just like, they keep it, they keep it tidy.

They keep it trim, you know, and it's, they. Do you reckon you, have you got a good head for baldness, do you think? Could you see yourself doing it? I mean, it's an, I'm at a, I'm at a crossroads, not a crossroads, but I'm going to be confronted with hair loss or am being confronted with hair loss you don't see it you're losing it you just notice it's um it's changing and so i guess i'm going to find out i don't think i'm going to go whole hog you know as much as i respect the bald man i don't think that's quite for me

it's sort of you know an interesting decision decision. I've actually, you know, between you and I, Tim, I've considered if I got a big check come in, I'd almost get, I'd go Tobias Fionke and get plugs. Yeah. Your old uncle teabag. Yeah, good on you, bro. I think so.

Yeah. Well, do you know who it really worked for? And you shouldn't take, you know, too much away from the specific person, except that the results were really good. Elon Musk, man. You look at the photos of him When he I think first sold PayPal And got the payout

That's not his hair we're dealing with today Not his OG hair And you wouldn't know Well good on you Elon That's a very Targeted compliment Yeah The other elephants in the room

by the way if you're watching this um in the video episode thank you for your support on substack twilight.substack.com um it looks like a bomb has hit uh behind me i mean it always looks bad this angle but it's particularly bad because uh this is more family time content but i'm just going to run with it because i had such a bad experience watching the movie the garage is fucked guy it's oh no yeah so we've had guys around there's been insurance assessors we've had contractors um cutting up bits of jib the the thing that used to be a toilet it it's cooked. And is that related to recent weather patterns, or was it cooked anyway? No, it's the storms.

And insurers, they're okay with that? They say, well, we'll cover your ass for that? We're finding out day by day, but I think so. I think so. That's why you pay them. Yeah, yeah. That's why they get their money. Well, that's a they get that's why they get their money um well i'm that's that's uh that's just to

explain the uh bomb shelter nature of my current backdrop i like it i mean is that an exciting opportunity to reimagine the garage exactly as you want to the garage was never finished guy as well you know it's never gotten to a a finished um you, we haven't been in here that long. It's true. I would like to say there is a third elephant in the room. What is this third elephant? Well, this is a podcast that is meant to focus on a conversation built around a film screening. And I'm aware that, you know, we've been having a good time.

I haven't seen you for a while. We're catching up. It's nice. Yeah. But it is our solemn duty to discuss, if not the particulars of Fast and Furious 8 or Fate of the Furious, at least the viewing circumstances and feelings that it stirred up inside of us.

Now, I woke up early to watch this um there's a bit of a time difference between where we are i actually i was i woke up earlier than i wanted i started watching this movie at 6 a.m oh god and um it's just not a way it's just not it's early enough that you think well at least you've got a whole day afterwards but it's still it really just takes a big chunk out of your day and more than that i think it takes a big chunk of um morale out of your system it sort of impacts the way that you're looking at the hours that remain in the day because you're just whittling away the first you know the this is how you're going to treat the first hours in the day god you know how are you going to muster up any respect for the rest of the bastards it's very hard to know where to slot this shit in isn't it because what you've said is completely

true it is a horrible way to start the trajectory of a day but like what are you going to do fucking bomb out the middle of the day with this this over two hour movie that seems unconscionable i know and then at night you're all tired no no no it's it it almost cannot be night for me and it's you know i i do think back to how much respect and reverence i had for this film and just how um daunting it is to me now i mean there's only one screening left which is respite i almost think i didn't know that that's great news i think great welcome news it's not a challenging sum, Tim. We're watching it eight times and we've done it seven.

I couldn't remember that this was the seventh watch. I think Joseph Moore gave us a bit of a poison chalice where he was gassing up the seventh movie. And now all I think about is I'm so excited for my next course. I feel like Bruce Bogtrotter in Mat you know i'm nearly at the end of the chocolate cake and after i mean i don't think he has another meal after that i think i wouldn't say so yeah but so he does a pretty big burp which maybe has created some more space for uh maybe some salad greens i took a i took a photo of this screening and posted online and you commented

you said you like reached it felt like you were reaching out or just expressing your own distress so and i the whole time i was thinking well we're really you know brothers in arms this week so tell me about your watch i did a amy hoggart style three course meal i i i gotta say i think mentally i think it's better for you to one shot these guys it i think it's disrespectful what i did and i regret doing it and it was not intended or planned i went to bed early to watch this movie and uh got an hour in and was falling asleep so i had to stop it and then got up got uh pretty far really far i'd say we were like deep into russia deep into russiagate and i had about 20 minutes left and i felt fucking horrible about what was going on because i could hear my beautiful hodler rocking around just just like he's so cute and he's having his morning

and my beautiful wife you know dealing with that and i'm watching Fate of the Furious. It was really ghoulish. So I was like, no. He's going to go to his daycare situation soon. I'm going to go and spend half an hour with my boy. This is madness. Here lies madness. So I did that. And then I polished off the last 25 minutes of 25 minutes with a coffee i want to

talk about that little window where you were watching it while your family were going about their day around you um it to me a little bit that's what it's all about uh it's you know i mean the franchise is literally about family the podcast is kind of about sacrifice um did you like did you did you feel i've never heard either one of us say that out loud but you are so right about that it is isn't it yeah that's what this fucking thing is about it's about needless stupid sacrifice i know and it's it's just you and i it It's just our sheer wills going toe-to-toe, powering each other forward. What did it feel like?

I feel like you're really touching on a deep, some sort of emotional resonance to be in Russia with the Fast family. And I mean, also, I guess, and by virtue of choosing that, technically not be in Auckland with your fast family and i mean also i guess and by virtue of choosing that technically not be in auckland with your actual family it was no good man it was it was really touching the void stuff it was um i like there was a lot rolling around in my head about this whole thing is stupid why do we do this why did we start doing this i hate that i really hate this yeah great and the the whys and the

wherefores it was and just and emotionally i guess that is the those are the sort of thought trains that are going through right but more than, what you're experiencing in your brain at any given time, and I certainly was in the early hours of this morning, is an emotional experience, which is one of emptiness, loneliness. worse than that it's sort of this isolation this forced isolation and a unique sense of um a responsibility i guess you would say as a father to to be doing to be watching the fate of the furious on my cell phone in bed with headphones on while my family is getting ready for the day i i know and you know that i, at the back of my head, there's this sort of counter argument trying to qualify or justify what we're doing. And it's like, I mean, you're kind of at the office,

you know, a little bit of respect here, please. Daddy's at work. It's the attempts are appreciated, but I don't know if that's going to do it for me it's a wicked web we weave isn't it because i do i i do think if you know what say you're a high-flying business executive and you've got a meeting with china at the same time i know what you mean and i have thought about that because you know to extend this out slightly wider it's it's like you know the life decisions i've made to sort of put myself in a space where I do comedy professionally on my own terms.

I'm not working for a company, a TV show, a radio station. You know, I'm not under that rubric. It does give me a lot more flexibility to be around and do the things. But the flip side is you get situations like this morning and you just question everything. It's really rocked you. Yeah. Wow.

I love that. You love that? You love the honesty. You love the honesty and you love the vulnerability, I think. I do. I do. I love, like, I love, I don't love the experience for you, but I love that that's where we're reaching into.

Like, I like that, you know, we're, how many screenings? We're 16 movies or 16 screenings into this season. And it's probably, it's probably about time. You know, this is probably the time when that starts saying but it's it's just um you know this is interesting terrain to me and to think that it's all brought about by this you know this blockbuster action film the seventh sequel to you know the original film it's remarkable that's the thing and i mean you did you mentioned uh moments ago that you know you remember being so gassed up on first watch of this this isn't the movie's fault none of this is this isn't vin diesel's fault this isn't universal

studios fault this isn't anyone who made the movie's fault or problem or responsibility this is squarely on the boys this is nothing but the boys the boys did this to the boys no one else did it to us let's hear it for the boys let's give the boys a hey like could you on this watch could you see it as a movie that works? I couldn't see it as a movie. I could just see it as this sort of... It sort of read as a series of vignettes. It's almost like someone's taken, I suppose, 10,000 GIFs

and put a bunch of sellotape around them all and package that and said this is a movie that's kind of what it felt like okay i know what you mean set piece after set piece action sequence even i couldn't i couldn't even like i couldn't even bite off set pieces as um you know, as nutritious chunks of movie. It was like all of the set pieces were broken down to just like, you know, shots, lines of dialogue.

It was, it didn't, it felt interminable. Like it didn't feel like I was watching a whole product. It felt like I was watching just a series of meaningless little moments that just kept stacking on top of each other. And you wait to step back and see what's been built but i couldn't see what i couldn't see i couldn't see the forest for the trees i think that real movie reviewers have talked about this

i haven't sort of like heard an in-depth conversation about this but i feel like i've by osmosis picked up tidbits about it the concept that there was a bit of a um changeover there was a point with blockbuster movies where they sort of stopped being as cinematic as they were and started becoming theme park rides thrill rides and so like i guess the most obvious example was pirates of the caribbean i believe started literally as a theme park ride before it was a movie and then they turned they turned it into a film franchise off the off the back of essentially like a fucking roller coaster like a real life roller coaster and uh that's what this feels like it's like things are whizzing by

you they're using all these tricks and techniques to kind of catch you off guard and make you laugh and be slightly titillated and keep you off balance but there's nothing to grab hold of um particularly after the first time you've seen the magic trick happen it's like oh yeah and then it goes around this corner and then this thing flips around and so it looks like this thing's flying but actually isn't and you know it feels like i'm on a theme park ride that was fine the first time yeah but just you can't spend your life on a theme park ride you can't because i've ridden the same roller coaster a few times and if it's you know if it's built right but that's physical like that's literally you're

having a physical experience that'll fuck with your body we are sitting down trying to be wowed by a thing in the same way that a roller coaster would be by what we see on screen that's a tall order on the seventh watch is it not yeah is that not physical it It's psychological. It's the wrong kind of physical. Yeah. It is. Everything's physical. It is entirely the wrong way to do physical if your aim is to stay engaged. Did you like it?

Did you like any of it? I hated the whole thing. Oh, no. It's so long. I'll lob in just while I remember the moment that i sort of it really it tickled me for whatever reason i thought you know sometimes you just look at something from a different angle uh it's when dom first sees his like i still can't remember the name his former lover and meets his son and charlie's alana alana yeah and the it's finished and then charlie's thrown just sort

of swans into frame and she says um good visit yeah true i think that's so funny like i like that's i respect that sort of antagonist that's fuckery of the highest order it's really good stuff that's nice it's like i have i have kidnapped your you know your lover and son and keeping them in a glass chamber in an undetectable airplane i've let you see them for the first time you're clearly like an absolutely emotional tatters and she just sidles up to him and she's like hey lucky fair enough dude that's a nice moment do you know i wrote down a shining light um connor rhodes he's he's a good actor yeah and it's a good i like the character and i like what it's doing in the movie which is just these super brief because he's been my shining light previously yeah in this movie specifically the wife it is that's right that's right wife it is um

because i like i like that too and i think that that that reflects where we're at with the movie when it's like we're really basket and this is a good movie should you should feel this immediately or like you should take a certain perverted joy and you know, the mentality or the, the torture devices of the villains, but it really tells you where we're at, where it's like, we're really celebrating these,

you know, this we're rooting for the bad guys. Yeah. Yeah. I, and I just, I like, I know that we,

we talk about this all the time with fast and furious, but like the combination of the lack of regard for human life and in particular um law enforcement or is again i just had a real pang of it on this watch of like it's crazy that this is such a mass cultural product the thing that got me this time right was um roman being so perturbed by not making the top 10 of interpol's global most wanted list and i suspect i didn't look it up can't be fucked but i suspect the people who are on that list in real life are mass murderers yeah you would assume so and this is the the team are like aspiring to the highest position on this

ranking and delighted to hear that they're so they're so high up on interpol's list while they're in the middle of killing all these like german police officers who are coming to protect a fucking weapon that's being jacked and i i yeah the i i sort of hear what you're saying there i do you are very drawn to the the disregard of um law enforcement in this in this human human life it's like i think it's more the disrespect of human life the sanctity for human life and how quickly it can be extinguished and there's no because normally in other action movies it's like that's a bad guy that's a henchman and so you can kind of do a little moral dance and say uh well they were doing bad thing these guys are fucking

they're just beat cops who've been called into an incident they got families yeah they got families they got families and you know but it's not the family we care about it's also i was thinking with respect to say roads like he's he's he's kind like they're not even in the same physical universe like the the family or dom torero specifically like if we try and tear the actual what what reality these different characters are setting because dom is his character is not living in reality dom exists outside of the traditional parameters of reality. You go down, like the family, they're not on the same level,

but just below him, they are also existing like outside of, you know, the traditional laws of physics and like, you know, damage. And then below that, the villains, I'd say a third down, they are also more largely, unless administered by the family or Dom, immune to the functional destruction that is taking place all around them

throughout these movies. That's basically your three stratas. And then below that, you've got the world, which is where the movies are set. And that's where all of the destruction is being wrought. That's where basically all of these people who we're talking about are actually experiencing the ramifications of what's happening in these movies and they're all jumbled up together yeah well having to coexist side by side and some filmmakers are trying to make it make it make us believe that this is all

coexisting on the same plane of reality it's not working the magic trick has failed this time i think i've got a question for you guy okay okay is this is this cypher's first movie no is this the first time we meet cypher i'm interested in that i think it can't be um just because there's a there's a moment between dom and cypher when she takes the glasses off clark kicks his ass yeah he's he's suddenly like oh it's you but but but is he because i really was was honing in on that moment, this watch. I was going to say today. That bit was yesterday.

But I'm really on the fence about that. I don't know if this is her first movie. And also, perhaps this is something I asked Joseph, and he told me and I've forgotten, quite likely. So the listeners might know. Yeah, I feel like we did maybe come up with joseph i think i don't i think she is um he talks a lot about how there are these sort of throwaway cameos in each film and then the next one they appear as a main person and to my eyes i think that's what happened with charlie's

i think she might make an appearance in um in seven i'd love to see you as nuts as it is to have charlize theron in the fast and furious movies it seems crazy to have her as like a c-list villain under someone yeah i i can't stop thinking about also joseph when he said um he overheard me talking to someone they're like what when he upset i was like oh yeah cypher's the villain i was saying with real like authority and enthusiasm and you know he sort of laughed at us basically a wave drop a cypher's not even like a big feature of the fast universe and i'm like wow like who have we got to look forward to statham apparently does and you'll love this i mean statham does unthinkable things from what i understand in this next movie we're gonna watch oh. That makes me nervous because I enjoy it.

At least I've been able to enjoy him as Jason Statham in this movie, you know, unfettered. What do you think about the descending? What do you think about doing them backwards? What do you think about the way that we're going down the steps instead of up the steps? You enjoy that? Like all the things we do that are related to this podcast

i think crucially it's a funny thing to tell people out loud that you know people get it instantly and so i've got no regrets from that point of view and i will say this it's interesting it's an interesting way to watch the franchise it is it is i i it's got it does get me i'm sort of talking myself into you know the work that's in front of us it does get me excited i do think we're gonna you know we're basically strapping ourselves to a rocket like you think about by the time we get to even five five viewings or something that's an absolute doddle you know and then it's like we're just fucking careening towards the first, you know, like we're going to absolutely blast through that first movie.

Yeah. Yeah. I've got, yeah, I'd sort of had parked that. We're gaining velocity, you know, through the repeat watches. Well, yeah. I mean, in the fast universe, they'd probably describe it as accelerating. They probably would. We're going to take a bit of cuban nas

the q i mean this is this this is the first time that all that cuba shit i was like whatever whatever the magic trick didn't work on you this time does lady say the cousin's name during that line because i think she calls him like ted or something. I didn't close. I just think of him as cousin. Like Dom, that's actually a really funny pickup. I think she does. Like the movie didn't even get around to naming it because Dom, when he walks away, he's won the race. And he's like, instead of saying, you know, you call your cousin.

I assume most people call their cousin by their name, but he just yells out across the, you know, the group is like, hey cousin. He pulls it off i buy it i cut that's funny that's funny um there was a line that i turned the captions on for this time because i've sort of it's it's flown by me every time and i've always been like did i hear it correctly i don't know and it's i can't remember exactly where it sits in the film but it's roman saying to tej about the tank about the military tank i'm sitting here wondering this whole time will this thing fit at valet at cheesecake factory now do you do you remember that being said yeah i kind of sees it under his breath

that's one line it's so long i'm sitting here wondering this whole time will this thing fit at cheesecake factory it's um it's like it's an approximation of comedy that is such a good line that is like that's so funny i mean it's funny as a as a an effort a joke and also it's funny to think that that's one of like you know that roman let's break it down can we yeah because does the cheesecake factory i know i know this is a joke so i but i'm i'm seriously just trying to understand the mechanics of what's being put down here. Does Cheesecake Factory have some sort of a valet service at any of their outlets in the States?

Do we think that's a thing? I mean, there must be like, you know, because it's a chain now, but there must be like a factory. They must have a... What do you know about Cheesecake Factory? Because I don't know very much at all. I think it's like a dessert chain. It's like Starbucks, but instead of coffee,

it's like, I guess, cheesecakes and other associated cakes. I just think there's like a, you know, they must have like a showroom floor. They must have at least one that they're like, this is the Ritzy Cheesecake Factory royce i've got yes out the front they've got like a beautiful sort of five-star michelin restaurant style front and then out the back it's the factory it's like you go to a cafe that's also a roastery and they've got a bakery we call that for a cheesecake yeah yeah a cheesecake

factory is a bakery they've tricked you but i mean you want to get into the the semantics of the actual name yeah like are you describing an oven my you know we got the we got the bathroom we got a living room we got a cheesecake room, we've got a cheesecake factory. Sorry, what? We're a cheesecake factory. Are you talking about the kitchen? Yeah. Yeah, it can produce en masse cheesecake.

It does all sorts of stuff, man. It's just putting stuff in an oven where it can bake. How's the name brand recognition on Cheesecake Factory? It's massive. We don't even have them in New Zealand and everyone knows what you're talking about. Don't question it. Don't question it at all.

I can't even visualize their logo. I don't think I've ever seen it. Maybe I have. It's not in there. It's got red in it. I feel like it's got it's not in there it's got red in it i feel like it's got red it's got like a red base and the the lettering of cheesecake factories in white or off white and i'm trying to imagine if there's a cake for a letter it's okay like in the even in the o on factory it feels like the

wrong place to have a cake standing in for an o because that it should well they should have like a wheel or some more mechanical factory based thing in the factory yeah and then over in the cheesecake that's where you'd change letters out for for um sweet i think so like there's so many letters in cheesecake factory that the type would have to be quite small and if you turn one of those into a cake it'd get lost i think you'd have to have a picture of a cake in the middle and the letters cheesecake factory running on the outside and do you think do you think that that is officially part of the title that is such a good question and i think it is big t little t big t for them they're not because it's like it's like starbucks right it's so ubiquitous now i think you can get away with a cute you know lowercase if you're a single kitchen bakery cheesecake factory if you

will but when you're franchising that puppy the shareholders aren't going to get serious about a place with a lowercase t yeah and then to get that that capital raise you know for some reason to me it feels like the first one was in georgia i don't know where it's coming from yeah that resonates man that's where it feels like it started sure sure yeah man how many franchises do you think in amer? How many cheesecake factories? Oh, how many outlets? Yeah,

man. 300. Yeah. I'm floating around there. Two to 300. I'll give, should we do an over under? I'll put the over under at 275.

So if you go, if you go under, you're taking 275 below. Should we bet? What should we bet on it? A cheesecake? Yeah, lovely. Okay. I'm going to get the data up for you right now.

Great. And give us an update on that logo as well while you're searching that, I think. That would be tremendous. And I don't even know what one would google to find this out but if there is a valet service at any of those outlets that is the original question that put us on this course the Cheesecake Factory operates 219 full-service restaurants we I'm proud of us by the way did you hear that? Restaurants. Yeah.

Keep reading. Keep reading. This is important. The company operates 219 full-service restaurants, 206 under the Cheesecake Factory brand, the Cheesecake with a capital T, by the way. Good from you. And 13 under the Grand Luxe Cafe brand.

Okay. I'm on a very bad hotel internet connection. So it's actually buffering up a storm just to open the Wikipedia page. I assume because of the sheer density of information that it was. Oh man, I could look this up so easily. I kind of like the mystery of um so it was founded a slow dial-up connection founded in los angeles okay a woman named evelyn overton opened a business after making a cheesecake for her husband's employer in 1949.

I don't know. I'm wrong. Maybe their current base is in Los Angeles. She opened a small cheesecake bakery in Detroit, Michigan in the late 1950s, but eventually gave it up in order to raise her two children. She continued to supply cakes to several local restaurants through a kitchen in her basement, which is the's the tour

that you were describing before and that's you know her kind of freaking out the guests in 1976 no 1967 rather evelyn's son david m overton left detroit to attend hastings college of law in san francisco but in 1968 decided to be a drummer performing with the billy roberts blues band which is italicized but does not have a hyperlink so we assume this was a misguided pursuit in 1971 david convinced his parents to relocate to los angeles to open a commercial bakery in 1972 they moved to the woodland hills area of los angeles where they opened the cheesecake factory bakery in which they produced cheesecakes and other desserts for local restaurants can i ask you a question guy from this story so far does it read to you

that this young lad who got a fucking law degree and threw it in the trash to pursue a rock and roll career made his parents move so that he could have kind of a softer or closer safety net if his music career didn't work out and he could crash at their place? He 100% sounds... Yeah, he sounds soft like a cheesecake.

But also... But his parents, they seem firm like a cheesecake because they created a fucking dynasty, a dessert dynasty. Yeah. So in 1978, so this is in 72, in 1978, Evelyn's son David, this is the same David, opened the Cheesecake Factory. So right so far, just in Los Angeles, they've opened the Cheesecake Factory. So you've got, so right so far, just in Los Angeles, they've got the Cheesecake Factory Bakery. Okay.

And that's a commercial kitchen where they're selling to other cafes. Yeah, they're selling to other restaurants. So 1978, six years later. Yeah. David, this layabout, opened the Cheesecake Factory, a small, can you imagine this this salad and sandwich restaurant are you fucking kidding me are you joking mate wait but so it wasn't called the cheesecake factory yep here it is i will continue with the sentence i agree it's an odd thing to be on the top line

for a cheesecake factory a small salad and sandwich restaurant in Beverly Hills that sold 10 varieties of cheesecakes on a one-page menu. And amongst the salad and sandwiches. Hey, let me ask you a follow-up question, Guy. You're in LA. You go to a cafe. Are you going to get a fucking sandwich and then a slice of cheesecake? I don't think I would ever do that i we we

the basically the entire world exists on very different diets from america america is a uh it's you know it is a country unto itself across the board honestly mean, that is literally true. So that obviously turned out to be a success because in 1983, he opened a second restaurant in Marina Del Rey. By 1987, the Beverly Hills location, which is the original one, had expanded into a 78-seat restaurant and was experiencing great financial success.

To be fair, we put the boot into David Early. We said he's a lout. He threw in his law degree to pursue music, but he had an eye for what was going on here. It depends how you measure success, right? Because this is a man who threw himself into the tumult of artistic expression and creation, pursuing a full-time career in music.

Hard, respectful. I got love for that. but then eventually he drifts back into the corporate life of expanding his parents cheesecake restaurant yes he did it successfully by the metrics of finance and business but is his soul on fire going in making cheesecakes every day or does he want to be shredding a fucking solo at Madison Square Garden? I think he's like a very passionate hobbyist. And, you know, that's still a great life. Like, they've grown this business, you know, immensely. It's really, I mean, I guess it's a separate Google

because they don't mention, I'm looking for the word valet in here. Yeah, look, we've literally spent the entire duration of an episode talking about the Cheesecake Factory, which while laudable in some respects, maybe we've had our fill of information on the cheesecake factory and i was close on the i was close on the logo by the way it's um really it's sort of it's red on a what it's i just had the colors around the wrong way well i gotta i gotta look at this

um logo because you haven't described it well enough for me i mean how fucking hard okay everybody let me explain the cheesecake factory logo to you it's in sort of fancy what i would describe as like medieval font you know like you would see on a yeah on a what a fucking god i don't even know coat of arms don't have any words on them but you know it's sort of it's an old style font yeah i don't know like a wizard if a wizard them but you know it's sort of it's an old style font yeah kind of like a wizard if a wizard was writing a spell it's a little bit that way um and it looks like okay so it is red there have been iterations where it's been brown on white but this is now emblazoned on a restaurant front it says the cheesecake factory and that kind of

wizardly print and then it says restaurant bakery bar and it's it's almost pink it's a very hot red they do it all i mean i'm looking at and do you know what is fucked up on the wikipedia it's just the words i mean the letters there's no picture yeah on the wikipedia page there's not a single image of a cheesecake but they do have a picture of the cheesecake factories miso salmon dish this business is disorienting to me how hard must evelyn's cheesecakes have crushed when she was just like imagine the people who were like we had the first one you know some fucking you know like her husband what was her husband's boss in detroit michigan's like damn this is a good cheesecake yeah because this is what people say to each other at meals like you could sell this

yeah she did and then flash forward miso salmon is being served at that same kitchen it's just madness. Yeah. America needs to sort its fucking shit out, man. I know this is low down the list, but you can't call something the Cheesecake Factory and serve miso salmon there. There's a good little subparagraph underneath menu, which is caloric content. Caloric?

How would you say it? I've only seen it written. I don't think I've ever heard someone say content. Caloric? How would you say it? I've only seen it written. I don't think I've ever heard someone say it. Calorie? Yeah. Caloric? Caloric. Caloric sounds right to me anyway.

In 2010, the Cheesecake Factory was dubbed the worst family restaurant in America by Men's Health because of the high calorie and high fat food content of their meals and um that that's prestigious to get the very worst yeah and like i'm not here to throw too much shade but in america shit's got some competition yeah what's that nasty one where they serve burgers but it's just like its whole thing is we will fuck you up with a lot of low quality beef the arby's yeah arby's like to beat out arby's seems pretty pretty impressive man we we really don't want to talk

about this movie huh i got one more thing to say about the movie. Okay. I took notes. I took notes and we've still spent 35 minutes talking about the Cheesecake Factory today. It's not about what I want or what you want. It's why we've never asked the question. That shits me, man.

That is a line. Sorry, you go. Well, it's Leti. It's like Leti and Dom have assumed their post-coitus. They're in Cuba. Dom's just, you know, asserted his masculinity over the entire island. They're rolled around in bed. It's sort of pillow talk.

And it's, you know, famously it's Vincent of pillow talk and it's you know famously it's um vincent's come so it's the point in the movie where they're introducing the idea of a baby to only for it to reappear later it's a it's a theatrical device it disgusts me how apt it is that that term in terms of like the usage you've actually crushed it on that thank. And she says to him this line of dialogue, which is. Well, sorry. And the lead up is, Leti says, do you remember that guy who put a boat engine on his car? The husband and son racing team. And Dom's like, yeah, yeah, of course.

I remember them. And then Leti's like, well, I was just thinking about what kind of father you would be. Yeah. And then he looks down and she says i'm not pregnant and then he says is that what you want i think it's the next line and then she says it's not about what i want or what you want it's about why we've never asked the question and it's so early in the movie and it's just a dog shit line that barely makes sense it's yeah i mean is is that the is that the pressing topic of conversation do you think in that context as an outside observer to them is it is that what they need to get to the bottom of is why haven't they i just think it's a weird phraseology and like, I don't know what she's getting at.

Like, why would you, why would you frame parenthood as a, as a thing where it's like, look, you don't want this. Our, our desires on this, our choices are irrelevant.

This is about exploring why we've never explored having a kid before. Like, what the fuck are you talking about? What are you, what are you saying? Just, if you are interested in having a kid, like what the fuck are you talking about what are you what are you saying just if you are interested in having a kid say i'm interested in exploring having a child with you yeah you could probably say it a little more human than that no no i like your one i like this whole concept of it's not about what you want or i want. It's about why we've never asked the question. I'm utterly confused about the complete surrender of your own autonomy and agency when it comes to starting a family in that moment. What's going on, lady?

What are you actually saying? I'm baffled. Wow. And annoyed. Tim, get her ass. wow annoyed get tim get her ass i i uh i think i i'd be interested to chart this across the season but i think letty is currently my favorite wow in spite of what i just said in spite of that you're being antagonistic no no i'm not i agree with your observations but like

you know you're in a fast and furious movie eight movies down the line you're gonna be trotting out some pretty dog shit lines of dialogue you just take the good with the bad or the bad with the good in this instance but she is she is a rock that you are clutching on to in the storm i did something i i just yeah there's um there's peace for me in the chaos is that why you run toward it yeah it's another thing letty says but that one's an f9 i thought i had flashes of f9 while i was watching f8 today and i i did have the thought to myself at least i'm not watching f9 wouldn't that feel wouldn't that that i mean it's a dangerous game to play but that's an interesting little psychological wrinkle

i think the intensity of watching that right now like the the flood of emotion what it would represent in terms of the work in front of you even if it was just a little side mission where you had to watch it i think that would really um that could really rock someone that could really like that could really rock you set up like the the ultimate screening moment so it's like you know it's you you start as zoe gets home from work and like you finish you finish watching the movie after remy's done bedtime so it's like right in that beautiful slot when you're having family time how did that make you feel not good man because i do sometimes have to do work through that period but it'll be like if it's a really pressing deadline something's happening and it

always makes me feel terrible while i'm doing it but to to jesus christ to be watching a Fast and Furious movie during that period of time. Not any. Fast 9. To watch F9? A non-canonical watch of F9. We've got to find some sort of bet that puts that on the line for us. Oh, you're playing with fire, my man. You are.

You're playing with fire. That real role reversal, I feel like. I used to be the one who would relish the opportunity to hang these swords of Democles above our head. Look at us now. Yeah, man. It's interesting. There's an in- culture cheesecake factory and um

you know the big bang theory gets a look in i carly step brothers the spy who dumped me drake the simpsons do you know who i'm surprised hasn't struck up a fruitful relationship with the cheesecake factory shaquille o'neill Adam Sandler Adam Sandler sounds seems to me like a perfect fit for a Cheesecake Factory crossover

advertisement if that's a word product I like it hey I mean we could we could see if we could get a little bit

we know we've got Universal behind us wouldn't kill us to double down what what do you mean do we need to get Cheesecake Factory are we starting a Cheesecake Factory We could see if we could get a little bit. We know we've got Universal behind us. Wouldn't kill us to double down. What? What do you mean? Do we need to get Cheesecake Factory?

Are we starting a Cheesecake Factory? What's going on? I'm just wondering whether or not this episode was brought to you by the Cheesecake Factory. I'm just asking the question. Yeah, man. I think to not pay us after the sheer girth of discussion. We gave everyone the fucking history, the family history of your business. You're not even going to throw us a cheesecake.

You're not going to email us one cheesecake. Can you hold there for one second? Because I've actually got something for this. Tim is now standing and he's walked out of frame. He's completely out of frame. We've got no idea where he's gone. And I actually can't possibly imagine what he's completely out of frame i've got no idea where he's gone and i i actually can't possibly imagine what he's bringing back

he doesn't appear to be holding anything he's wearing a cap and you won't believe what it says but it does say pay the boys yeah what about for this episode only? Let's get on the Cheesecake Factory's nut. Yeah. Cheesecake Factory is not a fucking ton of money. And to be honest, you've got a tremendous amount of value out of this. This is a great value add for you. Massive. You might want to park the stuff Guy mentioned about what Men's Health Magazine said.

But that's on the wikipedia and not an opinion held by the podcasters who've no i was just reading information and how i feel about the information is you know that's up to that we fucking hate men's fitness yeah we actively avoid it both conceptually sorry the magazine last time i checked men's health we turned calories into energy you dumb fuckss. You meat-headed bastards. Yeah, you fucking idiots. They only figured out one bit of the equation that you're supposed to work out. Guess what?

You need fuel to put in your body. You're going to need to eat. On behalf of Guy and myself, why not fuel up at a cheesecake factory where you can not only get a, I assume, beautiful boysenberry New York style bit of cake, but also a miso salmon that's right and with over 308 locations around the world

you wouldn't have to walk far for the most delicious meal of your life how do we do the over under now it was in America so you still won I'm bringing a cheesecake to the next episode and in the meantime we're bringing a cheesecake to a table near you. That was the worst idea of all time

brought to you by the Overton family, the Toretto family, Tim's family. All of the families everywhere. If you're in New Zealand or Australia, please visit the links in these episode show notes because the boys are doing comedy near you.

So we'll see you at a live show goodbye nine eight seven six 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1