The Worst Idea Of All Time - 20: Dad w/ Andy Batt

Episode Date: May 16, 2023

It’s time to bring in the big guns: Tim’s dad, Andrew Batt joins the fellaz on this very special episode to chat about James Bond, fighting Vin Diesel and exactly what he thinks of his son spending so much time watching such terrible films. As a lifelong Car Guy and self-confessed easy fan of any action flick, Andy brings a welcomed wide-eyed enthusiasm for the franchise to the chat, as Guy makes several attempts to coopt him as a parent for himself.See Guy LiveSee Tim Live Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Welcome to The Worst Idea of All Time, Season 6, Episode 20, if you can believe it. My name is Tim Batt, this is Guy Montgomery, and this is a season of the podcast where we are visiting a franchise that is centered around the concept of family. Family is front and center. It is the priority in Dom Toretto's life. And this season, we've been blessed to be joined by many excellent guests, international comedians, local comedians, friends of ours.

And today, I am delighted to welcome, I think, in my opinion, our most special guest that we've had so far. It's my dad, Andrew Batt. Hey, Dad. Hi, Dad. No, we went through this, Guy. We went through this. You don't call him Dad.

I'll call you Papi. Can you also flick your head up a little bit because we're going to lose your eyes. Just call me whatever you like, Guy, except late for dinner. I'd rather not call you Dad if you're going to be joking like that, mate. Welcome along, Andy. It's a delight to have you in the chair, on the mic, and in our company. It is. It's an absolute honor for me to be here, Guy.

Thank you very much. And thank you very much, Tim, for the invitation. Oh, a pleasure. I'm delighted and slightly surprised that you agreed to do it um you're yeah i didn't think participation was an option yeah well no you could we're very big on that we don't strong arm anyone into doing it in the hot seat true but this is a movie about cars and when i think cars i think andy bear that's who i think of first well it's i guess this one's sort of about cars. And when I think cars, I think Andy Baird. That's who I think of first. Well, I guess this one's sort of about cars.

They did destroy a lot of cars. They did. Guys made this point frequently before that. I'm not surprised. Arguably, this franchise hates cars because of the amount of cars they can destroy. I would say from an environmental point of view, they really don't like internal combustion engines. The thing they like less than cars is the environment. But I think before we get into the weeds,

I'd love to take a sort of bird's eye view of your relationship to the podcast. And you are arguably, you know, what are you responsible, you're a quarter responsible for this, between you and Marg and then, of course, my my own parents there would be no worst idea of all time and i'm sort of fact because you know you are you trying to blame me for this i'm not blaming you i'm not blaming you for anything old man interesting tan but you know what i want so you know you you uh a practical man you you You've lived a slightly more traditional life than Tim and myself

in that you worked. You've had real jobs in your life. And so, you know, here we are on a Wednesday morning at 9.15. I roll around for a hard day's toil at the office. We're in the primes of our working lives. We're two young men in our 30s. You sit in with us as we go to the very serious work of watching him. I mean, what do you make of all this?

It's a very good point that you make, Guy, and it's quite true. I have had a much better time. Let's get into a bit of that. I'm just getting this chair out of the way in case it's in a shot. Your bona fides, Andy, vis-a-vis cars. Is that my coffee, by the way in case it's in a shot um your bona fides andy vis-a-vis cars is that my coffee butter that's you that's so good to hear um you you started as a i mean this you're sort of original lovers cars in some ways as a young man this was your first trade well um well um yes i suppose it was well i guess you're a qualified civil engineer no no it's not

over you might be our most overqualified guest already let's not over egg this thing um is it my yes it probably is my passion that's that's true was it my first job no um my first sort of what... The year is 1970. No, no. Well, I was going to say, it was probably a bit later than that, I think, 74. For a couple of years, I actually spent as a civil engineering cadet with what we of a certain age will remember as the Ministry of Works and Development. Bring it back. Which you people will have no recollection of whatsoever. I've been talking to a lot of socialists there.

Apparently we need to bring it back. Yeah, well, I think the problems, current issues with our infrastructure could indicate that that might be a good idea. But anyway, that's a conversation for another day. That's our other podcast. Yes. To and to solve the world.

Absolutely. I got a, for various reasons, decided to exit that profession partway after three years, I think, and partway through the qualification to take on an apprenticeship as a motor mechanic. And then...

That was in, I don't know, 1970. This leads to Dad teaching other people how to be mechanics and then an illustrious and long career in the tertiary education sector being in charge of the people who teach the people how to fix cars. Wow, that's a serious role because ultimately if anyone fixes a car incorrectly that goes all the way back up to the top.'re in charge of that and there you are fortunately i think i would have been shielded from that a little bit but i guess in yes you could say in some respects that's the case the other relevant component when the movie first kicked off we're introduced to a title

screen telling us we're in sunny london england. And you said, here's a bit of me. You said, I know that view. I did recognise that view, looking up the river from London Bridge. Oh, well, from growing up. I mean, my first 13 years was, well, I was born in Reading, grew up in Maidenhead, which is about 30 miles west of Londonondon almost due west of london on the m4 there you go and the river he's got the roads for you this guy likes cars he's got the roads some of them yeah so yes so so here we are it did look familiar we have a brit

uh who's bona fide passport holding exactly whose profession is centered around automobiles and now we've got a car franchise that's centered well at the start in London to introduce us to Jason Statham

yes are you a Statham fan by the way I Dad's love Statham don't put me wrong here Dad's like Statham no no well yeah

no you're right guy I do yes I do yeah Yes, I do. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. Do you want to marry him? No, I don't like him that much.

And besides, Tim's mum might be quite upset by that. Yeah, I don't think she'd like that. Now, broad strokes, Dad, we just watched the movie together. We did. Did you like it? I did enjoy it. Did you? You liked Furious 7?

Yep. This is going to say something about my taste in movies i guess but i yeah i i quite because i do quite enjoy the action movie yeah i do quite that's i'd say the only missing puzzle piece in terms of your relationship to uh this the the podcast and the specific franchise that i know through tim you're a huge bond guy and um sprung you that's right yeah you've been trying to keep that under your hat through Tim, you're a huge Bond guy. Sprung. That's right, yeah. You've been trying to keep that under your hat.

We've blown the lid. You're on the front page of the Dom Post, mate. You're finished. But they're quite divorced from one another, obviously, these movies, but there is a kinship in terms of the action and some of the camp silliness that I imagine, you know, this is, it's not bond for the modern day but you

know there is no modern day bond well there's still bond there's bond it's very serious now though isn't it it's gotten very serious but i'll come back to that yeah yeah well no i mean i just think you know it was a delight to watch with you this was my favorite screening of fast seven by a mile because i felt like i was viewing it on its terms instead of through the exhausted prism of being like, I'm getting tired of this. We went with a hungover comedian at Cracker Dawn after a show. I mean, as you've already

said at the start of the podcast, it really highlighted the luxury of the experience. You know, 9.30 on a Tuesday, we're strapping in for a movie with our dad. I'm pretty sure today. It is Wednesday. It is Wednesday. It is Wednesday. It's all right.

It's not important. It's not important. In our line of industry, the days aren't relevant. And we did really gloss over the fact that, again, you are claiming this paternal connection. It's just easier for as long as we're talking. Fair enough. It's fine.

So anyway, I think we're guys getting to with that. Does, in some ways, this fill in a bit of a void that has been left by the Bond franchise becoming so up its own butthole? I guess so. I think you have to be a bit careful with action movies that you don't take them too seriously. You're good at that.

You're good at parking your disbelief. You've just got to say to yourself, look, this is entertainment hollywood is about entertainment yeah so if you can't sit down in front of a movie for whatever it was two hours and 10 minutes uh and be entertained by it then frankly it's not doing its job is it yeah so i think uh there's a certain amount of escapism for me involved in in in Fast and Furious and probably the Bond movies too it's just a way of you know just relaxing and getting out of your life for a couple of hours without taking anything too seriously yeah it's been funny actually uh

sort of re-analyzing your relationship with Bond as I've known it. Because you're in the thick of it, man. You had four kids at a young age. And I just remember there being non-stop laundry. And one of my indelible sort of childhood memories of you is folding washing with one of the Bond movies on the tally. Because you owned all of them on VHS and then had toally because you owned all of them on vhs and then had to rebuy all of them on dvd so well here's so it's it's a bit of a story um and uh yes it is true i would have to um

Yes, it is true. I would have to plead guilty to, at one point, owning all the, up until that time, the current Bond movies on VHS tape. And in fact, if I have a rate through my garage at the minute, I think I might be able to find them. I believe they're in a box somewhere. We did lose the VHS player at one point, so I then had to reacquire them in the form of DVDs.

To be fair, it wasn't me that went out and re-bought them as DVDs. They arrived as a box set as a present from my children at one point. So I'm not, I'm copping for buying them on tape. I'm not copping for buying them all on DVD. When the box set arrived, did you think, oh, this is so sweet. My children know me? Or did you think, I think they've overestimated my relationship to the Bond family? No, no, no, I thought, this is great, my kids know who I am. The other thing I was going to say was,

how it all got kicked, well, two things, I guess, kicked it off. Firstly, I think I have a vague memory. I'm going to tell it anyway. I'm not sure if it's entirely true, but I think aged at about, I'm going to say eight or nine, I have a memory that my father took me off to see Goldfinger when it came out. So I think that was probably my introduction to it. We then skip a whole bunch of time and half a world. And what Tim said was quite right. Tim's older brother, John, was, shall we describe as a poorly child. Some would say he still is. And for a period of time, he would only sleep at night if he was upright. So I found myself often at night

in a not dissimilar position that I am now. For those of you that can't see me, I'm sitting in a very comfortable chair and I would have John on my shoulder put that mic right up to your mouth and in order to allow him to sleep he'd be sleep on my shoulder in order to keep me sort of vaguely comatose I would have on movies uh in in the um this is you're sowing the seeds in a way our relationship to some of the movies we spend time with which is

it's attritional to an extent it's not we're not helping our sleepless child through the night as we watch these but it's the comfort, it's the repetition you're going back to something that serves a purpose.

I mean, you must have favorites in all of these movies equal to you? Look, the Bond movies? Yeah. Yeah, I think they probably are in some respect. It's a blanket. Yeah, I think so. some respect i probably yeah i think so um uh yeah i i don't really have ones that i that i i could people ask me oh you have a favorite actually not so much and have you moved have you have you moved that relationship to that film franchise have you attached yourself to any more

modern franchises or No, not really. I just immersed myself. You stay there. There's no need to. They're still making them. They made a lot of them, yeah. That's right. We have.

25 has been made, and I bought the 25th disc the other day. Fantastic. So, yeah, and apparently they're going to make a 26th one, once they've made a key appointment. And so when you sort of, you know, it's a lateral move, I guess, or a backward step maybe into the Fast and the Furious franchise. Have you watched any of these movies before? I think I may have seen one of the early versions of it, I think. And do you have a memory of enjoying it or not enjoying it?

Yeah, no. Well, don't ask me about the plot because I really can't remember that. But I think generally, yeah, I would have enjoyed it. And I say that because it doesn't stand out as being one that I absolutely didn't enjoy and normally I remember those. But you're capable of not enjoying a movie?

Yes, probably not of the action genre. I'll suffer through most of those. If something blows up, you'll get a B- at least. That's the flaw. Yep. And a lot of stuff blows up in this one. A lot of stuff. So much stuff.

So many. So as someone who's, broadly speaking, quite unfamiliar with the characters and the setup to get us to the seventh movie, and sort of what happens afterwards, and you're watching it with two people who also don't have all the information to set up this film, what would you describe as the blurb?

If you were looking at the back of the Fast and the Furious DVD that you own because your children bought it for you because they love you, that's me and Tim, by the way. What does it say? Furious 7 specifically. What does it say? About the storyline, the plot.

What's happening? We have to save the world. Yeah. We're saving the world. Again. That's it. That's it? The Wii is bringing,

the Wii is, is the Wii including the viewer? Well, it can do. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. The experience can't exist outside of the viewer.

See, the thing of it is, this is not a new... Concept. Absolutely. Yeah. The experience can't exist outside of the viewer. See, the thing of it is, this is not a new... Concept. Exactly. The storyline is not new. Yeah. Bond. The Saint. Yeah.

It's all... Hercules. Maui. Well, there you go. There is something creation-ish about these. Yeah. There is something creation-ish about these. Vin Diesel, in a recent Junket interview promoting Fast X, was discussing these in mythic terms, these movies. So while the concept of saving the world is familiar,

were you impressed at all by any of the creative ways in which they introduced new means of saving the world, I guess. I mean, had you seen or thought about cars as skydivers before? No, I'd have to say that's probably a new one. I've got a memory of Bond driving a car out of a cargo plane, but maybe it hadn't taken off yet or something, or it was taking off. Yeah, it took off and they pushed a whole bunch of cars out of a plane.

Just as waste. As, yeah. No parachutes on them. No parachutes on them. And that's what this movie did so well is it put some parachutes on them. They did so in order, so that he could get to a helicopter

which was also strapped in the plane which was a far more useful way of getting back to Earth. Big plane. Than a car. Huge plane. The plane, they had a far more useful way of getting back to Earth. Big plane. Than a car. Huge plane. They had cars that were clogging up. The storage of the plane had a helicopter in the back, and they had to clear out a bunch of cars.

The cars were the Detroiters. It was like Coke cans in the bottom of your steel well. Desperately trying to remember the movie, but the plane, I think, was one of those big Russian Antonov. Was it a Timothy Dalton one? Yeah, I think it was. Living Daylights? Because I remember

there's a line at the Emirates I know a great place in Karachi to eat or something yes and that might have been that might have been

part of it yes as it hit the ground no no actually I've no I've thought about it's not that's not it alright

it's fine look it's a milieu but this is the whole point isn't it your relationship to the Bond films is it's a milieu it's a stew

it's a gumbo or a blanket they are now blankets are better my memory is not what it was again Your relationship to the Bond films is it's a stew, it's a gumbo. Or a blanket. They are now. Blanket's a bit of a metaphor. My memory is not what it was. Oh, and just, sorry, while we're speaking about memory, because it's sorry to out you, Dad,

but Dad's real fun party trick at one point in his life, I'd be very impressed if he could do it anymore, was you could name a Bond movie and Dad could give you the license plate of the of the car of like the main bond car wow well like was that pre-internet because you could have what were you gonna say can you still do it well the license plate of his daughter the license plate of of the aston martin db5 okay bmt214a oh there we go Internet prove them wrong And if you For those of you who may be out there And remember that car

I would imagine it's zero No there's no Bond fans out there And remembering the list of gadgets on it They will remember that it had revolving number plates So the other two are Here's a test them LU1234 and I think

EA 1154 you're asking the wrong person but it sounds good to me the third one I'll put a question mark by but I'm pretty sure the first two are right fantastic and how do you feel about this knowledge

occupying space and your valuable brain on your limited time on it well you see now that I'm as I am, as old as I am, it's probably wasting a few data points, isn't it? I know, you must be fighting off conversational partners. There must be more useful things for me to know, surely. I tell you what, you've struggled my entire adolescence

to remember which son I was by name, first off, but the three license plates on the Aston Martin you've got at the tip of your tongue. It's called priorities. He's always known I'm high, and that's why I love my dad. That's a family thing, Tim. My father, he could remember my name, but he always muddled up my two younger brothers. Oh, you got you, though. That's good.

That's bloody good. That's probably the position at number one. Oh, you go ahead, Tim. No, you get into it. Go on. I just think I'm drawing quite a long blow, but there's a kinship because Bond was constantly reinventing new ways to have obstacles that they had to overcome through the gadgets and whatnot.

And this is what this franchise is caught doing. So in this movie, they send cars out of a plane and they have to parachute down to Earth. They've got a pretty fast and loose relationship to physical harm and physics especially as it pertains to the heroes you know in the next movie they um have to blow up a nuclear sub they jump a nuclear submarine in the in the ninth movie they andy might have a taste now in the ninth movie they take car they put a rocket launcher on a car and they fly a car through space. Do you see, I mean, I guess the way that technology has developed and all of these movies are becoming so much more fanciful. Do you remember watching the Bond movies and feeling that they were at all tethered to reality?

Or is it all nonsense to you? Oh, that's a good question now i think in part i think the the early bond movies were probably tethered a bit more to reality because they didn't have cgi in the 60s yeah so they if you couldn't uh if you couldn't act it or or make a car do it couldn't show it in the film uh you couldn't film it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so, yeah, you did. I mean, the laws of physics did apply in the 60s and probably in the 70s, but I think probably less so now. Are you familiar with the expression jumping the shark? Yes.

Yes, I think so. Do you know when Bond might have jumped the shark? Ooh, that might have been a little while ago. I think making DB9s disappear oh yeah yeah yeah was probably getting close to it was that die another day yeah i think so when he's driving through the snow no good yeah there was a bridge too far so here's my question andy i know you're not a um uh you know an acting coach or anything like that but what did what did you make of the performances in this in this film film? Were you buying it?

Was it enough to be like, yeah. Oh yeah. I think, yeah, I, I, you know,

I think the, the acting you take with a grain of salt because of what it is. I mean, no, nobody's going to be dishing out Oscars for these things. Let me, let me reframe a little bit. Who was good?

Who in this were you sore and you were like, good job? I think everybody who had a part in this, I think, played their part. They're not listening. I don't. You can speak freely. I'm not seeing. Yeah, see, I just take an action movie on face value. Yeah.

So I'm not seeing anybody standing out. I love this relationship to movies. An uncritical eye. Yeah, it's just like, just entertain me. Two hours and 20 minutes of entertainment. Everybody did their job. Thank you very much. I've got to get on and do the painting now.

It's a good way to live, isn't it? We're doing the opposite. We had professional film critic Dom Corrion, and I remember him saying, it always rings in my ears, he said, you have to meet the movie on its terms. Yeah. And you're a walking advertisement for this. You're not expecting anything more or less than exactly what the Fast Franchise promises.

You put it up there on the screen, I'll watch it, it's great. Yeah. Thank you very much. Yeah. I could talk to you about the cars. Please do. Did you have a favourite vehicle? Well, I did quite like the one that Deckard Shaw was driving.

Yeah. Was it a Lambo? No, I think it was an Aston Martin when I'd looked at it. Oh, true. Might have been a Lambo at some point. No, no. It was an Aston Martin. It's also of his character, isn't it?

Yes. British. Yes. Well, it's got to be British, hasn't it? And could you name the make? Of the astronaut? The model? The model?

Yeah, I think it was a DB9. Do you think that was a direct reference to Bond? No, I just think they were... They're just cool. They pulled cars out of everywhere for this thing. Yeah, they did. I don't think there was a maker that wasn't represented. Did you recognize that supercar that was in the Middle East? i was hoping you weren't going to ask me that no i i and i tried a couple of times

to hear what how they actually yeah named it but i couldn't get it either time yeah some weird supercar yes yeah and there there are a lot of well sorry i'll rephrase that. There are a number of manufacturers around the world who make very small numbers of hypercars. Is that to inflate their value? No, they're just small companies. They don't make a lot of cars because they're hypercars. They're very expensive, so they don't sell very many of them. So they just make small runs. That's crazy. What's the appeal for the maker and the consumer?

I think it's, well, the appeal for the maker is they're making very specialized cars. The appeal for the buyer is they've got something that only five other people or ten other people on the planet have got, so yeah. Would you like to drive one? Oh, yeah. Yes. What's the fastest you've driven a car? Oh, not very fast, really. About 120. We've got to get you on the auto, bud. Hold on, hold on, because I don't know if he's about to say miles or cars.

Yeah, I was about to say miles. Oh, it's not slow. Not recently. Yeah. Because, Dad, you raced for a little bit. Oh, yes, but yeah. Dad raced cars. Because, Dad, you raced for a little bit. Oh, yes, but yeah. Dad raced karts. That was a whole different thing.

That's cool. Dad held a, Andy, you had like a racing license for a bit, right? Yeah, I did, yeah. Did you ever throw tacks out the side of the kart? No, no, we didn't. Banana peels? No, no. Tortoise shells?

No, I didn't have any machine guns or bulletproof shields. You just out there raw dogging yep yep the so like as a fan of cars when you see them doing the racing and stuff does there any bits that take you out of it because it's like it's too unrealistic or would you just go this is a movie and that's okay by no it's a movie that's so good yep uh i think well guy you it before, you're playing a bit fast and loose with the laws of physics here right now I mean jumping a hypercar between three buildings is

physically that you're pulling a long bow They don't decelerate at all when they burst through the glass, they can't on account of there's no brakes on the car I've watched this multiple times now, I don't understand why that car does not have brakes burst through the glass. They can't on account of there's no brakes on the car. I've watched this multiple times now. I don't understand why that car does not have brakes.

This is the hyper car that we're talking about now that they couldn't name, shamefully, woefully. It has brakes initially because when they get it out of the, when they get the beast, when they unleash the beast, as Vin Diesel says, they get it out of its little cage because they caged the beast. He stops it in the foyer of the party. as Vin Diesel says. They get it out of its little cage. Yeah. Because they cage the beast. He stops it. He does stop it. In the foyer of the party.

And so something happens. Does he? I can't pinpoint it between then and there. Maybe it's when Paul Walker is bashing the screen in. To try and access the chip or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, but I thought. He says no because he says.

I'm so confused. Okay, hold on. Let's try and game this out, the three of us. We've all seen this movie. So here's what happens. We've got this hypercar that's in the Sultan's vault alongside some artwork. In a very tall building.

It's the Wiz Khalifa buildings. I don't know what they're actually called, but it's similar to that. In Abu Dhabi. Yeah, in Abu Dhabi. And Dom Toretto lifts it up like a human jack while Paul Walker goes underneath with a torch to look underneath. And I think they're looking for God's eye, right?

Because it's in the car somewhere. In the security system. But now I'm thinking, is he cutting the brakes for some reason while he's under there? No, because he only went under there with a torch. Is it possible? I wouldn't let that be too big a clue as to what they're doing. Is it possible he's looking for a way to start

Or unlock the car so that they can get in And then access the device that's inside of the car I thought the I might have this wrong I thought the God's Eye chip Was in the security system Of the car For safekeeping

So they needed to get into the security system Because they got the security control unit and opened it up and i bloody missed that did they did they do that afterwards yeah they yeah he's bashes the screen he takes out the unit well this is good so what do you think they're doing under the car yeah fussing around trying to find the security oh they're in the chassis yeah i think they've gone under there well i think there's a couple of things going on there not the least of which is it's a chance for vin diesel to show how strong he is yeah yeah i think that's probably the first do you think so these these high these

hyper performance cars of which they make very few are they they've got light frame is that is that yeah remotely realistic he could do no no okay yeah yeah. It'd be like close to a tonne, right? I think a car like that would weigh more than a tonne. You reckon? Who do you think would have a better shot of lifting it up? One Vin Diesel or the three of us working as a team? There's a good question. I don't know.

I love that. This is a line called Ferrandi. I fucking love that. That was not the answer I expected No I'm not I'm really not sure Do you think The three of us

Could give Vin Diesel A run for his money Lifting cars Maybe we could Let's remove Let's entertain it Let's remove the car lifting There's three of us

Six arms It's a fight It's a street fight It's the three of us Against Vin Diesel No weapons. Do we stand a chance? Guy, I've just had a birthday.

I'm not going to tell you which one. Answer the question. Do the math. You were dropping some dates on the history before. I don't think we've got a chance. You don't think so? I've just seen him for two hours beat the living daylights out of all sorts of people. I don't want to alarm you, but that was engineered to make him look good.

Yeah, yeah, well, you know. Guy's got the height, right? So Guy sort of ties him up up top. He's distracting what his hands are doing. I grab him by the... Now, there's one thing I can sort of do in a fight, and that's find the fulcrums. So I grab him by the neck and try and...

I think one of us is gonna jump on his back i reckon dad takes out the legs while i'm doing i'm going guys sort of you know meeting him on height value i'm going for the neck and he's going for the knees i'm gonna go and find a crowbar yeah and i'll start swinging that's right i like it and the other two of you better get out of the way because your aim's not i thought no i'm just going to be swinging i'll probably have my eyes shut that's actually that is how i imagine i'd enter that sort of fight as well it's just like um you know you'd have to be disciplined in terms of your your stamina but i just swing something in front of me to try and prevent anyone being able to enter the attack zone

maybe this is disrespectful but could we fight paul walker could we beat him if he was alive not now i i'd like to to think I stood a slightly better chance against Paul Walker. You're going solo. You're taking on Paul. No, no. Paul would have us. Paul's trained.

It's just a big guy. Is Vin not trained? They all look like they might be trained to some degree. Yeah. I don't know. Ronda Rousey's in this movie. You knew who she was, eh, when I pointed out that she was Rousey. Yeah, I did know who she was.

The old MMA fighter. She's an abysmal actor, isn't she? Well, let's be honest, guys. It's not her, you know, it's not her strong suit. No, this guy's been in here for a while. She had a role to play. Yeah, she's a fantastic wrestler. An absolutely shithouse actor, I would say.

I'll say it. Andy's not going to say it. I'll say it. It jumps out at the screen how bad she is at delivering lines in the context of the film. I'm so glad you showed up. These parties are so boring. Or words to that effect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know that she got a few bites of the apple. She's got name value.

She's on set. It's not a bad line. There's a way to work that line and you've got to milk the pauses. You know? You want to know who's the master at it? Kurt fucking Russell Kurt Russell should have been giving her some notes But I'll bet he wasn't there on set like that I would like to say

I watched a Kurt Russell film last night Called And I know that Kurt Russell's a cool guy And I know he's had a storied A-list sort of Action hero career I know that he's married to Goldie Hawn and Kate Hudson. Is he still? Yeah.

Oh, that's awesome. They are responsible for Kate Hudson, for better and worse. But the movie was called Big Trouble in Little China. Have you seen this movie? It's a 1987 film. No, no. John Carpenter, writer-director, and scored it, I think. John Carpenter, the horror director?

Yeah. carpenter writer director and scored it i think john carpenter the horror director yeah and it is kurt russell is so funny in this movie and so cool in this movie i was in awe of him the whole time i watched the movie and so it really it gave me um i've always liked mr nobody you know and it's always been like it's a cool walk-on cameo for me you know you probably wanted to do two or three days on the set cash is a check. Gets to be the coolest guy in the movie and then leaves. It just gave me a craving for more Kurt. I just wanted Mr. Nobody.

Peep it through the whole thing. I can't think of other Hollywood stars at his level that are still knocking around doing it. Few have been cancelled. Few have died. Few are unhirable for various reasons kurt's on the scene did you kurt seems good did you see any kurt films at the cinema

oh i probably did can i remember them no no yeah he was a must have at some point that sort of raft of i don't know the only one that sticks out is like on the video easy shelf is hunt for red october you know there's just like all of those sort of 90s. Yeah. There was a stock and trade. That's how he bought his mansions. And I think he did some Westerns. Kurt Russell?

Kurt Russell. I've got this picture in my head of him with a massive. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone was talking about that recently. Maybe on our podcast. Old or new? Older.

Well, a few years ago. Yeah. Yes, probably late 90s or 90s somewhere. Couldn't place it. As a sheriff. So help somebody. Yeah, yeah, that's right. The internet will take care of that.

There'll be someone screaming into their headphones right now. Probably several people will be yelling at us. You flatter our listenership. We have one listener. And you're on the podcast. I think we sort of like kind of artfully answered but slightly dodged Guy's original question, which was what do you make of the project, Dad?

Because Guy and I have been doing this for nine and a half years now. Oh, now you're harking right back to the start. Yeah. I think it's an important question. We're not going to probably get thearking right back to the start. Yeah. I think it's an important question. We're not going to probably get the opportunity to get you on the mic again. No, that's possible too. Look, I think it's...

He's not dying, everyone. He's busy and who could do this twice? It's a waste of time. I think what you guys have done really is actually quite amazing. To have actually monetized sitting and watching movies I think that's fabulous I think that's just priceless and I the only thing I could say is why didn't I think of it do you

not think that we perhaps should have learned a Well, it's not doing you too much harm so far, Guy. No, that's true. I mean, to be fair, you would be known by far more people than I would be. That's not a measure of success, though. It is for some people. No, but, you know, I got the AA over to change a tyre this morning. You wouldn't do that.

No, you're probably right. I was in a rush. You know, I was thinking about it. Guy talks about this, and I'm sorry to grab what you're saying, but Guy sort of brings this up often. He says, what do you think your dad makes of, and I think you say our, which is kind of you, but sort of the insinuations, the sort of lack of practical skills.

You know, you've come in, you've done a lot of work on this house that we're in. Sorry, I bought this house at the end of last year. I can't do it. I don't know what I'm, you know. So it must be alarming to you. Yeah, but you can do roofing. You're going to fix the roof when the weather clears up. If it ever stops raining.

You know, I can't drive a car. I don't have a full license. What do you, now tell us truly, what do you think about that? Well, that's probably slightly embarrassing. At one point, listeners, at one point, out of all of my four children of licensable age, and not one single one of them could actually drive a car legally for adult kids that would have killed grown up kids no it didn't it didn't really kill me no it didn't really connect the dots though andy what's the common denominator to be yeah there

you go to be fair and as i i can't remember it's one of the children summed it up and said why would i do that i i don't i don't need a car i don't have a car i don't have anywhere to park a car um because at the time they were all living in central wellington so and and why is that because the boomers bought all the property and fucking cooked the housing market for us where are we going to put a car in our rental can't fit it in there whose fault is that it is a gotcha podcast and we've got you on yeah so you might have me on that one this is where this was all late i mean because i remember i remember it's only slightly embarrassing it's not huge he would he would sort of he has practical value not not in spades but he

can do you say me no this is my dad this is steven and uh i i know i because i've experienced it where he would when i was growing up he'd be like well this is how you do this i i know i because i've experienced it where he would when i was growing up he'd be like well this is how you do this and i just i had no inclination to be interested i'd had no concept of the value it would bestow on me in later life when i had to face the same challenge he we we changed ties together when i was you know i could do it but that's a whole day for me whereas it's like 10 minutes for a guy yeah that it's what i pay for but like did you feel any of that because i i know i just remember him being like you should want to learn how to do this because you'll need to i won't be here yeah i was like yeah there'll be a guy there'll be a fellow there'll be somebody somewhere um i are you asking me where my intense practical skills came from i

don't really but that and also but what I mean, you seem to be remarkably lucid and you have a very healthy relationship to the fact that your children aren't you and they might not care and that they're not going to learn it and that doesn't bother you in the slightest. You don't think, come on. No, I think we, and by we I mean Margaret and I, when we had the kids, mum, Tim's mum. My mum.

Tim's mum. My mum. We didn't see the children as mini-me's, if you like. Of course. They were their own people and they've all gone off to do their own things. And they've been their own people, and they've all gone off to do their own things. And they've been very different things, but they've all gone off to do their own things. And in totally different fields,

like none of them are motor engineers or builders or anything. And that's great, because that's what they've done. And they've done it for themselves. This is true of my siblings and myself also, but I know that beneath it all all there is a simmering frustration that none of us wanted to learn how to patch a wall no see i that never bothered me that that didn't worry me at all um and i think really the big goal for us and as far as the children were concerned i might be oversharing a bit here was to make sure that they were happy. Of course.

It's beautiful. We didn't need anything else from them. Well, mission success. You've raised four fantastic kids. I'm very good friends with my brother, your son, Tim. I'm going to get speechless now. I'm still here, guys. I'm just enjoying.

Yeah. It's a lovely moment. I mean, have you spoken to my dad? Have you guys? Not recently, but I have spoken with, guys. I'm just enjoying. Yeah, it's a lovely moment. I mean, have you spoken to my dad? Have you guys? Not recently, but I have spoken with your dad. Yeah. Not recently. You would have had a laugh.

You would have been out. Yes, yeah. Look at these guys. Yes, yeah, we did have a laugh because it was actually after one of your shows, I think. You and Stephen get on well. Yeah. I've had some fantastic evenings on a couple of glasses of red wine with Stephen. Yeah.

He's a good time. He's a good time. He's a good hang. He seems like a nice guy. Absolutely. He seems like a nice guy. He is. He's all right. Should we do our shining lights?

Because we're getting to the end of our allotted time, fortunately. Of course. I wrote mine down because I can't remember what it was. Well, while you look that up, I can get it. I just want to warn Dad for what's coming. You've listened to the podcast before, Dad. Well, I just want to warn Dad for what's coming. You've listened to the podcast before, Dad.

What we're looking for here is a moment you genuinely enjoyed from the film, which sounds like it's maybe not going to be the outrageous reach it has been with other people. Well, it might be an outrageous reach because I probably struggle a little bit. You guys might need to go first. Let me see if I can pick something up from what you're saying. No worries. I can go right away. It's something I've enjoyed before but not mentioned.

It's some of the fashion, because it is a 2015 movie. It doesn't all translate exactly to today, and that's as to be expected. Movies are not always on the cutting edge. I mean, Vin Diesel's got a timeless style in that he's wearing the same cut-offs, but there's a beanie that Jasonason statham's wears when when they're in um azerbaijan azerbaiyan and is that how you say it properly azerbaiyan azerbaijan i'd have gone azerbaijan but yeah you know potato potato the country's name sorry to all of our listeners but uh he shows up on the scene they're trying to save ramsey from that the the big sort of military bus and he shows up on the scene. They're trying to save Ramsey from the big sort of military bus.

And he shows up in his cool little car. And he's wearing a beanie. And it's sort of... Stathis. Stathis wearing like a... It's like a baby's beanie. A knitted baby's beanie that's folded up sort of, you know, in a very impractical way that is very trendy,

which is not total air coverage. It's folded up sort of top air. Almost reminds me of an old burglar. Like a cat burglar. It doesn't look warm where they're fighting but there's no one wearing a beanie to suggest that it's as cold as that. And also, you know, you never see

And there's some ball blokes out there. But you never see Vin in a hat. You never see The Rock in a hat. And thank God. Guy and I are on a Facebook thread. I'm going to give scant little details. Some other comics? Let's say an indiscriminate number of other like-minded people.

And there's someone we've found who has a hat. And we just find it so funny that they have found this hat. Because the hat doesn't look great. And there's so many photos of the hat in this person. And I applaud Vin Diesel for maybe trying on a couple of hats and going you know what not for my it's a business choice he's most recognizable as the man with the the chrome dome true but you know it's just so fascinating to me that the rock doesn't wear a hat uh the staith traditionally doesn't wear a hat i think he wears a cheese cutter in a wears a cheese cutter in one of the movies that we've already seen.

But it's out of the blue. He's wearing this beanie. And honestly, I like the beanie. I think it looks good. I think he could wear the beanie today. It wouldn't be remarkable. It would be like, yeah, Stath's looking good. It's not out of place, is it?

Yeah. I like it. I like that it's a random choice. It comes out of nowhere, and he absolutely pulls it off. Stath's in some turtlenecks in this film as well, and he looks good in a turtleneck. Yeah. This is the difference.

He's got style. Do you know what it is? Not fashion. The cheese cutter makes sense thematically because a lot of the Aston Martin, the turtlenecks, they hammer the fact that he's British. The beanie exists in international waters. Anyone wears a beanie.

And yet it's still distinctly him. I mean, it's great costuming and he carries it well. And I've wanted to say it for three episodes now. I like it. Fantastic. My shining light is, Inley Stead, do you want to jump in? No, you go. Because sometimes I like to go before I forget it.

But I've written mine down. So if you've got yours loaded up. Well, it's not really loaded up. You go. So there's a scene in the first act of this movie where Paul Walker, wait, I don't know. It's in the middle somewhere, actually. Paul Walker's fighting a guy on a bus,

which sounds not exciting, but it's actually very exciting. It's the aforementioned bus on which Ramsey is, right? It's a military bus So before we know who Ramsey is we know that we've got to go Get Ramsey because she's created God So we've got to go get her because she's going to be targeted Because she's the only one who can deprogram it Or find it or whatever the fuck

So they've tracked her down Language, mouth young man Don't make me the one to say it So this international terrorist Called Moses Has a band of merry men as well, and they've kidnapped Ramsey, put her in this bus.

We don't know it's a who yet, and we assume it's a he. Yeah, because hackers are he's. Hackers are he's. And so they finally get in there, blah, blah, blah. This whole kind of action sequence unfolds. You should see the movie. It's quite spectacular.

But then the bus sort of careens into a hill. Paul Walker is trapped inside like a dog in a vet van, you know, with the caged bit, and he can't get out. And it skids closer and closer to the cliff, and suddenly it's hanging over. Is it going to propel itself over and kill Paul Walker in the process? No, because we're only in minute 50 of the film. So if you look at your watch, you can probably ascertain, I don't reckon this is the bit. Now 50 because we're only in minute 50 of the film. So if you look at your watch,

you can probably ascertain, I don't reckon this is the bit. Now 50 of the film, not minute 50. Is it? Oh, yes, it's dead right. The 50th minute. It's pretty early in. So then he has to bust a window open,

climb up it and out. The bus then starts skidding out of its own gravity-forced accord, and he has to run over it, which he does. This isn't my favorite bit. This is all the setup. He jumps off the car, and Letty, out of nowhere, tail whips, like, you know,

fishtails her car right next to the cliff. He jumps off, lands on her bonnet, I think. No, he grabs onto her spoiler. Is it on the spoiler is that on the spoiler on the spoiler and then kind of whips she whips him back onto onto terra firma yeah and uh and then it's got this crane shot so this is this has been an outrageous sequence we are breathless knowing what's going to happen to this guy and And we finally can exhale. It's got this dramatic crane shot where it circles and comes down onto him from above, bird's eye view. And he's lying on the gravel, all spread-eagled.

And he says, thank you. Priceless. It's a good line. And he delivers it, I think, the best you could. It's like a child saying thank you for a lollipop. Well, the poor fellow would be slightly winded. It's so good. He's so, I don't know, infantile when he sees it.

He's got charisma and he's got chops, this Paul Walker. I also want to say that it's a very high-stakes moment because if he slides with that bus down the hill, he's going to die. And yet, not two minutes later, diesel and ramsey use does deliberately driving down the same hill as an exit strategy yeah with no consequence whatsoever and a far smaller car so it's i don't know it's all a bit but anyway his delivery on thank you well we've already discussed that you don't want to you know that's right yeah you read too much into this this is about the plot not about physics Hold the movie with a little...

Yes, yes. When there's an election, do you just write on the election form, I think all of the parties have made a good point? No. No, I've never been known to do that. Yeah, I know. I think you're a remarkably fair person.

It's insinuation. Anyway, your shining light. Tim's lookinginuation. Anyway, your shining light. Tim's looking at me expectantly. Shining light. Look, I think I enjoyed the movie immensely. I think the bit of many parts that I enjoyed was actually right at the very front end where, and it's just after the sort of the big shot of the london and the

thames river and um we're in the hospital which we come to see that um statham is comprehensively dismantled that's right uh getting to um see his brother who is frankly not in great shape in a hospital bed and um i think the i don't know whether he speaks the words or whether they're narrated but it's something about not being able to escape your past yeah in your future yeah and i thought that i know i'd like to see the movie again in order to get that line we might have talked over so tim when you when you do your next thing can you if you can just jot that down for me and text it to me or email because i think it's actually what did they communicate to you what did you when you heard that what i i think it's it's i think it's something we can all kind of grab onto is it quite resonant it was it was

quite resonant and i'm probably speaking as an older person now it's beautiful so it's something along the lines of no matter what you do now you can't outrun your past yeah I think he was saying it to his brother I think he was sort of a vaguely family type statement that's nice

what a great shining light as I say I did enjoy the whole movie. Not only are you meeting this action movie on its terms, you are elevating at moments what it's doing to the pantheon of meaningful

art. Well, maybe it deserves that. Who's right and who's wrong? It's not a criticism. I'm just saying it's remarkable. You're saying that Dad's elevating it. Maybe Dad's viewing it the right way. You know what I'm saying? We're viewing it the wrong way.

I've always respected our Dad. I think he's a great and wise man. I agree. I wholeheartedly agree. And unless you've got anything else that you'd like to muse on about this movie. No, I'm done musing, but thanks. Well, I'll tell you what, Fast X is coming out very soon. Sorry, 10.

10, yes. Like really soon. I don't know what we'd, we actually, should I, Guy and I were trying to host a bit of a preview screening, like a New Zealand preview screening, but I don't think Universal's going to let us, which is fair enough. That's their prerogative. Even though they're sponsoring the season of the podcast.

Yeah, but you enjoyed seven so much. I did enjoy seven. We should see X on the big screen. We should do that. Yeah, nice. Yeah, we should. Fantastic. Well, Andrew Bett,

thank you so much for being on the podcast. Thank you very much for having me. You've never been Andrew Bett. You've just been Dad. Thank you, much for having me. And to me, you've never been Andrew Bett. You've just been Dad. Thank you, Guy. Call me by my real name. Say son. Right-o, son.

Bye, everybody. Bye. 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.