The Worst Idea Of All Time - 20: Sashi Me

Episode Date: February 28, 2019

Guy is getting fed up with America’s weird date format and Timbo is packing a bong for this special 420 episode. The Flash is effusive with praise to begin with but soon becomes positively irate with his watch-mate not accepting his Coffee Guy theory. There’s stories of careers past in call centres, office crushes, debt collection and a big question: Are Tim and Guy any good at conversation? Hope so! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We just have a good rhythm together, you know, he sort of feels me out, I feel him out, and we go for it. Hola, buongiorno, and g'day. Welcome to the Worst Idea of All Time, Season 4, Episode 20. That makes this the 420 episode. Hey, I don't know what that's in reference to, Tim, but you sound excited, and that in turn makes me excited. Fuck, actually, I hadn't even put that together until right in this moment, so keep talking for a second.

I'm going to grab my vape. Or a bong. I'm going to grab a bong. I can see it. Hold on. Keep talking. Way to go. For those of you listening along,

it is roughly 10 a.m. in New Zealand, making it roughly 4 p.m. here. Actually, we're recording slightly after 10 a.m. It's 4.17 p.m. new zealand whenever we're writing the date we always go the date within the month so say today would be the 22nd or for you the 23rd then the month 19. Here in America... What? Oh, you do the dates wrong. They do the month first. Yeah, lunacy. Is that not crazy to you? It doesn't make any fucking sense.

This is like... Wasn't there a space shuttle or something that exploded because the Americans were still using Imperial on one of the calculations? That sounds like information that you, of the two of us, only you would have and retain enough of. That's all I can remember. It's not enough. That's not bad, though. Anyway, it drives me nuts.

And, you know, while there is no denying the fact that listening to you assemble a bong for yourself for the arbitrary reason this is our 20th episode of the fourth season of the worst idea of all time is outstanding audio content yeah let me kick this oh you are you you've got your hands free i'm on a handheld so i'm imagining you in the same situation but you've got my hands for a microphone yeah oh very cool you better believe i am disassembling some sticky yucky and putting it into a little bowl as we truly you are the telemarketer of the podcast world you know some people selling i ain't selling anything no no no that's not what i'm that's not what i'm uh trying to suggest just the headset the situation the fact that you've got, you know, your hands on a stress ball, one hand on a kush ball. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nah, just some kush, my dude.

I wish that I did have like a podcasting headset with a good enough microphone. That appeals to me for some reason. Takes me back to McCall Center days. Oh, you did speak... Have I ever talked about McCall Center days? Of course. There's virtually no stone in our respective lives that has been left unturned

uh i do forget that you were a genuine call center employee though do you know what you've got a very disarming demeanor everyone who meets you tim they're always quite taken by you do you know that's so sweet i'm just gonna go fill this bong with more water but now i want this praise i'm gonna stick around ah yeah that's exactly why i did it i had the sense that you were going to go fill this bong with more water, but now I want this praise. I'm going to stick around. Yeah, that's exactly why I did it. I had the sense that you were going to have a dry bong. No, it's true. When people meet you, you give off what is a genuine but also immediately transferable sense of curiosity and empathy that a lot of people don't. You're very good in conversation.

and empathy that a lot of people don't you're very good in conversation uh and you have a warmth that sort of transcends uh how well you know someone i feel like it is immediately communicated in your demeanor and so it's my birthday i know but all that to say i think you do an outstanding job on the phones you were calling up people and asking for them to pay their taxes have i got that well yeah you're not far off. I did work at the tax department, though I was dealing with the incoming calls. I wasn't in the, what do they call it? It was like fucking debt collection or whatever.

Yeah, whatever it is. Oh, Baycorp. The debt side of things. Baycorp. No, man, the tax department doesn't use Baycorp. So if those of you listening uh sorry our one libertarian listener um if you're if you're fortunate enough to never have gone into enough debt to be chased down um god bless you but otherwise there's a is baycorp international

i don't know if it's just the company that deals with it's only happened to me in new zealand baycorp's the um the central debt collection private company that fucks your shit up when you don't pay your library fine for long enough but the tax department they just like

use their own peeps because the tax department's fucking legit it's like a little army unto itself yeah you got a lot of fond memories of your

the people who served with you Tim oh yeah yeah big time man I loved working You got a lot of fond memories of the people who served with you, Tim? Oh, yeah. Yeah, big time, man. I loved working at the tax department. Well, loved is a strong word. I loved getting paid by them. It was a fucking pretty nifty little entry-level job.

And I worked in the complaints department for a bit. When you'd walk into the office, who was the person you were the most excited to see? Who was the first person you'd want to talk to that morning? Oh, fuck. Good question. When I first started, probably my brother, because I didn't know anyone there. He sort of helped me get the job in there. Nepotism.

That's what makes tax collection work. That's what makes virtually 90% of industry go around, it would seem. In answer to your question, though, don't know man um it was a long time ago i wasn't well the framework looking forward to seeing anyone i assume that there was some um you know there's always some uh some office cuties that you're looking forward to um to seeing this what keeps you going in an office hey office cuties yeah i i guess i guess so and eventually perhaps a a genuine piece of companionship but uh there is nothing like a harmless sort of uh you know what's what's the word called a harmless impotent workplace crush yeah it's the little moments it's the it's the butterflies as they walk past your desk or whatever or you know whatever your workplace is

those are the little moments that give you enough adrenaline to get through the five hours that you're steering down the barrel of you know immediately afterwards imagine those poor schmucks like for every time up until now who would who weren't working with the opposite sex well i mean a lot of those people were probably uh you know quite happily working with only members of the same sex i'm of course talking about members of the queer community yeah fucking power to them but still not the majority like this this way everyone gets some you know what i'm saying you put the two genes or put all the genders together and everybody suddenly gets some yeah yeah and i'm not i'm

not talking about action i'm talking about harmless office flirtations yeah it all takes place on a slightly elevated platform how do you mean oh yeah everything's a bit heightened and i'm also speaking specifically to that little envelope of time when you're in your mid-20s and you just first start working in offices it's a very i don't know i'm describing a very specific i'm describing my past i think yeah specifically that's what we're here for uh yeah so and so long as we are here for that why don't we talk a little bit more about your immediate past? The 20th screening of Sex and the City. Yeah.

Both solo ventures for us this time. And you were sending me, not necessarily dark, but certainly a few messages that suggested you weren't in the best headspace. No, I wasn't enjoying it. I think it's just a very downhill prospect from here on in i'm trying to think of ways to to zhuzh it up but with the time zone thing it makes it quite hard yeah well you you you wrote start my day with it i hate this you know 36 minutes into the the screening yeah and uh and then i wrote back saying uh tim i agree it's not good and i'll be five minutes late today i'm sorry because i started the watch five minutes

after the scheduled kickoff and you said i don't want you to worry about that this is what told me you were in a dark spot i don't want you to worry about that i love you and this sucks um those things are true and I stand by them. I don't doubt it. But when I read that, that's when I was like, oh, wow, Tim's in a really dark spot this morning. Because, you know, I was apologizing. It is frustrating to be late.

But I was also sort of doing it in quite a lighthearted sense. But the grave tone that you struck in responding to it told me that uh the sort of the the sunglasses through which you were viewing the world weren't rose tinted they were a slightly darker shade no they were actually alan p yellow because i got some promotional sunnies um yesterday at the flicks because i i just i lost my sunglasses again and did you did you watch the whole movie through these shades i should do that i didn't but i should maybe that would add a little variety a little spice yeah a little genesee something um what about just putting a bit of cellophane

on top of your screen that'd do it wouldn't it it would be so frustrating i can't see a world in which that would enhance anything other than being irate at the tv screen for playing the movie that you are feeding into it but at least it's a different kind of irate at this point that's i just need i need something but i mean that's that's a level up of being irate though isn't it because then you're not just sabotaging your life by watching the movie, but it's like you're sabotaging the environment in which you're already doing the bad thing. You're not doing something to counteract the bad thing.

You're making it more frustrating. I would disagree with that because I think, as the saying goes, change is as good as a holiday. So if you chuck a bit of cellophane on your screen when you have to watch the movie The 20th Time, maybe just that difference is enough novelty to rekindle a little bit of interest in the product. Well, I mean, you know, maybe not.

You won't get to find out on the 20th screening, but on the 21st, there's nothing to stop you from putting in the hours and doing the research there, Tim. I'd like to quickly turn the conversation to the actual contents of the movie. This was something I've been meaning to get off my chest for a while, but we've had a run of guests. You are fucking obsessed with talking about this movie. You're obsessed. You got a problem with that?

You need other interests, man. But go do you what do you have to say the thing to me about it it feels like if you know we or in my experience i am going to go through the experience of watching this movie we might as well you know dang talk about it yeah um yeah i guess that's right so So when Miranda is broaching the conversation about sex with the gals and talking about how her and Steve maybe aren't having as much sex as might be normal or he might like, she rattles off a list of reasons why it's hard to find the time to have sex. A mother-in-law with advancing Alzheimer'sheimer's and a rest time that's exactly right a full-time job that's those i don't care about the other ones oh the mother-in-law and a rest

home with advancing alzheimer's is what i want to talk about that is an incredible you know uh piece of information to deploy quite early in the film yes like so what we have is you know, piece of information to deploy quite early in the film. Yes, it is. So what we have is, you know, Steve's mum, the fact she brings up the rest home suggests it's a reasonably recent development. The advancing Alzheimer's, I mean, once you have Alzheimer's,

I assume it's continually advancing. It's always advancing, never receding. That's what I know about alzheimer's i mean do we not want more out of this do you does it does that line jump out at you it's like there's so much oh dude information to offer it's surely surely this is in the tv show whenever there's a line like that in this movie i'm just like i'm sure they covered all of that in the final season of the tv show fucking samantha's cancer you know like uh the the chemo treatment she talks about i assume we saw all of that in vivid detail i don't know i'm just assuming because you wouldn't just

bang that kind of clunker of a line and uh that does don't you think make some sense to me but say uh so this movie took place four hours uh four hours sorry four years after the conclusion of the imagine if it was four hours that's such good fucking promo just like here's the season finale now run run to the cineplex that would be a real uh sort of ambush pr strategy or media release you know like like beyonce dropping lemonade um i guess yeah no you're right and you know i never watched the movie through that prism i mean i i tried to and spoke about it in the last episode with io but i never uh watched the movie you know securing the knowledge that there's been that whole show before if i hear a line like that i'm like well don't just fucking touch on it you know show me let's get into it do you do you want to meet steve's uh

you know as always if only for a variety of company i would love to meet steve's mom it always sticks out to me but you think this is addressed in the show four years earlier man that's that's all i can assume it's too big to not i'm actually in miranda's exact situation i too have a mother-in-law uh in a rest home with advancing alzheimer's it's a big thing so i assume you would cover it in a show you don't you don't you don't ram something like that randomly into your film and let the audience fill in the gaps but then again fuck i don't know i don't have a ton of trust in mattress pikelet so any other way the way is covered the way conversation works is

you don't always get to cover all the stuff that's touched upon in sentences you know other people latch on to certain words a lot of the time someone will hear a word which will trigger the thing that they want to talk about and then you know they completely tune out it just becomes a contest to make sure they get the first word in on the next sentence so they can start controlling the conversational direction oh i don't like that that's not something you should throw at someone who's just ripped a bong guy that is very when you start doing a meta-analysis of conversation and how you can fuck it up to a guy who's just had a couple of lungfuls of God's Green Peace in New Zealand, you know, it's dangerous weaponry. Do you not agree that that is how conversation works sometimes?

You know, when you're in the mix with bad conversation, that sort of stuff is absolutely running riot. Not us, though, eh, guy? We're good at convos. could you repeat that sorry oh no not us though hey we're all good we're good yeah we're all right we run hot and cold i think everyone does you know quite naturally uh yeah i think we do well actually to um manage or attack or fight the little nanosecond uh delay that goes between our conversations now through the internet it's it's a tricky old thing that little half yeah absolutely but we're both patient listeners and learning to get better all the time i often think of it when you're in those conversations because i've been the person who's waiting i

really want to get something off my chest, is you know when you have, less so now as an adult, but certainly in younger adulthood, down towards the tail end of childhood, you and some friends would get together and you'd start watching YouTube videos. Sure. And you have what is categorically and undeniably the best YouTube video to share with the group,

but someone else is holding court on the floor by playing their video and you just are not absorbing or watching any of their video because in your head you're just sort of nodding along being like i can't wait to type in this sucker you know and when you're doing it it's sort of permissible but then what happens is you load up that video and someone else has got their version of the best video on youtube ready to go and they don't engage with your video the way you want to and you have to keep pausing it and going back and saying no no you got to actually watch the whole thing it's almost as if every person is like living their own life in the in the first person you know which is a terrifying content they are absolutely i guess yeah i've never heard that little first person addendum which i loved him well i yeah it's because i know we've talked about

this um before i think and and i wanted to whip up some new phrasing on it but that's essentially what it is isn't it it's it's the concept that every single person their life is done in the first person so it's not how you think about them you think they're they're an other absolutely uh like yeah how long how long it took me to realize you know when you a conversation finishes especially when you're younger and you leave the conversation the other person also leaves the conversation and you go to do something they also actually go and do something that one is a real mind fucker of being like everyone is out there right now doing something they're doing something out there and i don't know what it is at all i'm glad to catch you on the back end of

two lung fools tim uh any any stray observations from the movie this week not a shining light not necessarily an axe to grind but anything you saw that you thought hey how about a bit of this i messaged you this but the amount of wasabi that samantha replies to the sushi that she's making for smith when he comes home on valentine's day is absurd she she's going to take someone out with that amount of wasabi like it's fucked she's dunking it in there like it's ketchup this is a real problem uh different people have different sort of taste buds and different uh have you seen this though uh i can't remember it vividly i think i've noticed it before but you know in your advancing years i think your taste buds erode

more and more than when you're younger so dude there's no person alive who could handle this amount of wasabi now the only thing that i could concede is perhaps it's that um fake wasabi made of horse radish which is very common and i think it's it's uh you're kind of the heat but not that same wasabi flavor to it it's a little weaker so maybe maybe it's that but even if it's horse radish my god she's still it's fucking crazy she's ruined the dish i mean that's a given she's still, it's fucking crazy. She's ruined the dish. I mean, that's a given. She's absolutely ruined it. It's not food at that point. It's just a challenge,

which is something I enjoy doing sometimes, just making something so fucking spicy and hot. It's like, this is no longer food. It's just a personal challenge for myself. Yeah, she does later complain of getting wasabi in places one should never get wasabi. Well, I'm not fucking surprised. You use that amount of wasabi, it's going to get everywhere.

Yeah. I love it. It's staggering, man. You need to look out for this. I absolutely will. The whole sushi thing still does. You know, we slept on it for so long, but just the absolute absurdity of, as a romantic gesture on Valentine's day,

opting for, you know, one of the least romantic smelling and textural foods. Like I could think of few greater boner killers than introducing raw fish to the bedroom. I don't know. There is a certain sensuality to sushi, but sushi, sushi itself. It's more the rice to me.

Rice? It's rice that gets you? Yeah. Well, rice is in no way sexual or sexual or romantic. What is sexual about a raw slab of fish? You're referring to it as a slab. That is not what we're dealing with. If it's Sushimi, it's like a beautiful, fresh, thinly cut. You know, it as a slab that is not what we're dealing with if it's sashimi it's like

a beautiful fresh thinly cut you know it's a delicacy and probably they say all seafood's an aphrodisiac don't they i know they say that for oysters absolutely not shellfish because texturally what we're talking about even in the world of sashimi it's too close to human flesh. It's. There has to be a point of distinction. That is greater than. You know. Flesh on flesh. Rice is good. Introducing rice between the bits of fish in the skin.

At least creates some point of contact. Which you go food. Body. If it's just fish. It's just not cricket. This is one of those things. I wish that this podcast now existed in a slightly different format or medium so we could kind of go to the phones or throw a poll on or something.

Because I will stand. I will fucking die defending the opinion that rice is less sexual than sushi me sushi me sushi me sushi me no thank you uh well tim i would i would delight in uh in this sort of head-to-head taking place in the public sphere and what say the loser of the poll must cover themselves in the in nude in the food that they were defending that seems like a real guy montgomery thing but i'll do it well i just sort of i'll do it we've got it we're going to figure out the stakes that is not this isn't coming from nowhere folks guy montgomery's uh, which he's just put out for his comedy shows,

which is admittedly absolutely hilarious, is him naked urinating into a swimming pool with the title of the show covering his genitals. Yeah, and that show is actually on sale now through all of the Australian and New Zealand festivals. It's called I Was Part of the Problem before we were talking about it. If you plug in my name, the show name in your city get tickets i'll see you there i mean it was such a

setup to him i simply had to yeah i guess so i guess so um well while you observed samantha and her greedy little fingers doling out more wasabi than is, you know, responsible or reasonable for seizure consumption. I greedy little fingers very well have stumbled into, um, something massive. A conspiracy. I don't know that it's conspiracy, but,

uh, I may have located coffee guy. This is big. This is very big. This is bigger than big. So, Tim, what do we know about Coffee Guy as he exists in Sex and the City 2? Can you please tell me everything? We know that he loves coffee.

We know that he has a newspaper. We know that he appears coffee we know that he has a newspaper we know that he is um appears to be in a rush and i'm not sure if that is a perpetual state of or just in that moment where we what's he wearing he's wearing a from memory like a brown suit like a brown casual suit is that right uh he is wearing a suit. I cannot remember the colour. I feel like it might be grey. Yeah, you might be right. But he's very much a straight up and down, you know, cut and dried sort of business fellow.

I mean, what nefarious deeds requires that unholy amount of java is unknowable. But the fact of the matter is, he looks like a pretty ordinary put together fella he's a stock photo of lower middle management and a big big i would now like to direct your attention towards a scene also set in a cafe in sex in the city now we know that tom stratford the actor who portrays coffee guy is credited not in sex in the city the credits but on imdb presumably by his own hand as elaine's friend elaine herself is not credited we don't know necessarily who elaine is in this movie however when miranda is writing up

a list of pros and cons and reuniting with her estranged husband, Steve, in the background of frame in a coffee shop, sitting across the table from an unnamed woman, we see a man. And not just any man. He is a bikey. He's got thick sideburns. He's got a bandana covering his head. He's got sunglasses either ons he's got a bandana covering his head he may wear he's got sunglasses either on his forehead or on his eyes he's got a real devil may care attitude and he is drinking coffee at a reasonable pace i mean there is no one else i've found in 20 screenings of the movie, who has so much connective tissue to Coffee Guy as we see him

in Sex and the City 2. So the question then becomes, what transpires between Sex and the City, release date of, I think, 2008, and Sex and the City 2, a release date of 2010, I believe, And Sex and the City 2, a release date of 2010, I believe, that could have taken this relaxed bikey, you know, and entirely turned around his life and lifestyle to become this, you know, who drinks coffee, you know,

when and as he pleases, on his own terms, at his own pace, into this absolute hound this maniac this coffee chugging lunatic who cannot get out of the cafe soon enough you keep saying he's a bikey what do you mean by that like he came i mean he is dressed as a bikey dresses and i'm not talking about a road bike i'm talking about a full-fledged motorbike a hog a hog a road now you probably need to lay eyes on this guy to fully understand how likely it is what i'm talking about so at this point i would like to suggest we pause the podcast i'm going to bring up the time code oh fucking you for real and we're back some people just had an ad break just oh nice so you don't think it's possible

these two different characters guy this person who's changed their appearance a lot who we only see and never hear i think so i think tom stratford the actor he's obviously you know carved out a specialty in coffee acting acting with his hands around caffeine. Coffee. Coffee shops are a great place for him to ply his trade. You know, we know that he's the friend of a character named Elaine who goes uncredited and we don't necessarily see. It would make a lot of sense for this to be Elaine, you know, for no other reason than no one else that we see in the coffee shop at the time is dining or has the same indicators uh as this guy does it

just it all makes a little too much sense to you when have you got the time code up uh well i actually i thought fuck you saw that guy right in the he looks like dave growl are you talking about the dude with the bandana absolutely keep watching it you think that's coffee guy now because i did it before i skipped right past him i didn't know what shot you get another reverse shot when miranda admires her milk mustache in the mirror really and he's gripping this he's gripping a cup of coffee. I don't know about you, Guy Montgomery. I think he's in the mirror. What's his...

That ain't coffee, Guy Montgomery, Guy. Who is it then? It's some other dude drinking coffee. Love where your head's at, but I'm not going to give you that. They look too different. Agree to disagree. That biker man you're describing has such a distinct look to him he looks like a the kind of guy really fucked around with a hacky sack until his 30s i want to read an email to you guy because this pertains to what you're talking about

i don't actually know exactly which cafe scene this email is about but it's about one of them okay okay um hey hope you're well uh i was once an extra on the hit australian soap neighbors for two episodes sitting in the green room all the extras were talking about what work they'd recently done it was boring stuff mostly until someone dropped that they were in a scene of the Sex and the City movie sitting at a table in a cafe. Of course, they were suddenly extra number one and were blasted with questions, with the most obvious being that classic entertainment question, How'd you get that? came at them. They said they were just eating at the cafe.

The Sex and the City crew rocked up and started filming, so they decided to stay to see if they could get in the background the crew never asked them to leave so they made it in not sure if this means they just didn't care where they filmed if it was some kind of impressive improv movie or the movie was secondary to an elaborate tax game and they simply didn't care where or who they filmed do with this information what you wish but i'm sure you'll be able to see the bigger picture that i'm missing out on so there's quite a few cafes in this film so i'm not actually 100 sure which scene they're talking about but doesn't that strike you as um slightly fucking haphazard that a big old hollywood feature film like this they just picked a cafe and rolled it does seem insane to me uh that almost seems to me less

likely than the fact that some extra on the cast of neighbors would just have a bit of fun during the break by making up unwieldy lies about their previous work the fact that i think you're right i didn't even consider that when i read the email but saying it out loud I'm like this Aussie is full of shit it is so unlikely that a movie with the budget and the scale of Sex and the City would rely on an uncontrolled environment at all

to capture what they need to put this movie together I don't think it's a good movie but I don't doubt that they at least did their you know the bare minimum to qualify as a movie it's a good movie but i don't doubt that they at least did their you know the bare minimum to qualify as a movie it's fucking australians man and their tall tales they've got to be stopped

i am i am truly devastated by your dismissal of this theory tim i'm sorry but you know it's incumbent upon me as the only other person with you on this journey to check yourself when you're about to wreck yourself and the person who you've pointed out as coffee guy just has no well it's been he does he's holding a cup of coffee he's in a cafe he's in sex in the city i mean these are pretty much mate so is mir is Miranda. Is Miranda Coffee Guy? Absolutely not. She is a named character. There are only so many people with the clues we have who can fit the description of Coffee Guy. This guy is with an unnamed woman, potentially Elaine.

He is drinking coffee. He's drinking coffee at whatever pace he so chooses. Who are we to say that in his life, huge, momentous things don't happen between now and two years from now when we see him again, clean cut, sideburns shorn, bandana off, suit on chugging the stuff

before he storms out that fucking door to kick a horse up its backside or whatever it is he's got to go and do I would be with you were it not for the fact that we see both of these gentlemen's faces and it is not the same gentleman he's wearing a disguise he's wearing a disguise in the cafe in the second movie you reckon too long ago we set out on a quest to locate coffee guy in the first movie neither of us have had any returns i find

something which fits all of the pieces nigh on perfectly and you're just gonna say no have you met elaine in sex in the city have you seen you that was not my intention i apologize for that guy i don't know who elaine is i don't know where coffee guy is i don't know i will continue looking well i don't think we've found him i think we have and it also is starting to feel like you're calling the great tom stratford a liar nah i'm not though i will say i am less hopeful of finding him than I was at the outset Is that guy sitting next to a woman at least, who we could hang

in a lane? You haven't even done the research. Yes, he's sitting next to a woman. There are two different shots detailing the fact that she could very well be a lane. One front on, out of focus yes, but front on. The other side on.

Two characters in profile. Miranda in the foreground, wiping a milk moustache off her face in the mirror. Listener, I just want you to know that the shots Guy is talking about are literally like a half a second each. These shots that he's screaming at me about not knowing well enough, they are on screen for the smallest it's there clear as day guy hit me hit me uh or should i do a shining light i've i i want to i want to i stand behind myself i'd like to apologize the first shot is not in fact of the

woman who i assume to be elaine but it is of coffee guy in his current 2008 status as a bikey, or perhaps a man of mystery who is in disguise. Who's to say? It doesn't matter how many disguises you've got, though. There are enough coffee shops in New York City for even the world's premier, most wanted spy. But there is, Elaine is there in the other shot,

are you saying? She's in both, but in the first shot, her back is to the camera, not as advertised her front. In the second shot, she is caught in profile. Well, let me ask you this. If she is less prominent in the shot, why does she get a name? Why is it Elaine and Elaine's friend?

Why would a spy want their name in the public sphere? Why is Elaine not actually credited like maybe tom stratford just did more work on his backstory than whoever the extra was who portrayed elaine maybe elaine didn't actually call herself elaine maybe coffee guy just came in and said the person who i'm talking to in my mind's eye as the actor i am who is prepared for his day on set as coffee guy which is a name i don't want to go by because coffee guy is a spy and i'm naming my character within the character knowing that he wants to mask his identity so instead i will identify myself as the friend of the person I'm having coffee and dining with, Elaine. Ergo, Elaine's friend.

You're coming at me with a very non-420 friendly energy in this episode. This is wigging me out. I desperately tried to follow what you were saying just then. I got lost. This is an incredibly 420 friendly energy. Do you think? Absolutely. I will say this.

It's probably time to move on. But next time you watch the movie, I hope you do it with a heavy heart and a pocket full of regrets, my friend, because you will soon come around to the theory that this is Coffee Guy and something significant has happened in the year 2009 to our hero.

I look forward to coming to that realization. But for now, shining lights? Question mark? When Carrie is arriving at the wedding and her, you know, it changes week to week, but today, frankly, ludicrous wedding outfit, namely her headpiece. Oh yeah, the bird. When she steps out of the wedding car, there is a woman in the background in a black dress

who is sort of on the left-hand side of frame who's getting ready to walk through frame. Given the information you've actually just given me me i don't know if this woman is an extra who is turning something on special for the camera or perhaps just someone who is shocked by what they've seen but carrie steps out of the car in her wedding dress the woman in the black dress her mouth drops open and like shock as though to say, oh my God. And she doesn't correct her jaw, so she remains slack-jawed for as long as she's seen Carrie, which tells me that it is not like a positive shock,

like, oh my God, she looks beautiful, but more of a negative shock, like, oh my God, she's getting married in that? And I thought it was a funny angle to take from the performer i thought it was very well performed and delivered and uh that was my shining light this week what a great piece of human observation that if you slack jawed briefly but then it transitions into a smile you are impressed taken aback by how amazing the thing is but if you remain in that facial expression for too long you're just kind of disgusted with what's going on well yeah if you if you don't you know bother to correct i feel like although you might not correct if you are overjoyed but i feel like the slack-jawed expression would turn into a

smile whereas if it's just sort of it remains mouth agape you're in total disbelief have you ever been so happy that you've been slack-jawed for so long someone could interpret it as disgust uh it's possible although i get i get very smiley when i'm happy a sort of my face can't hide the feeling and i i do enjoy the sensation you feel a smile spread across your face but you also feel its energy spread through your body and i don't think that i've ever just remained slack-jawed in a moment of pure happiness you yeah not that i can think of it's a good question that i can think of i don't know if it is it's a weird question my shining light and this may be colored um a little bit by some real life events at the moment but is samantha's dog it's a cute dog yeah and uh

any particular moment yeah it was fucking now i'm trying to remember exactly what the shot was is it it's not the wedding it's before then the second wedding at City Hall but is there a bit where she and it's not the bit at the party either at Carrie's apartment the baby shower it's not that

but it's fuck I can't remember where it is but all four gals are hanging out. And the dog's there. And you enjoyed the dog? Isn't that bad? I should probably be able to name what scene that is by this stage, eh? Don't sweat it too much, my friend.

I've been trying to memorize the script just for something to do. And it happens the same way every time. I'm getting pretty good at the start. But I just fucking tune out. the movie is so fucking long jesus christ yeah it's hard going i actually have a little dog highlight up my sleeve um oh yeah well one thing that did make me laugh a little bit it wasn't a shining light but i certainly enjoyed it was um when samantha is you know lying controversially covered in sushi which we both agree is disgusting for different reasons uh sort of you know ready to fuck and the movie has hammered home the points of similarity between samantha and her dog

uh there's a very funny little sort of knowing nod that we see in frame from the dog uh sort of towards halfway between samantha and the camera which suggests that this very intelligent dog you know this horny little dog is thinking yeah i get it i love that you're ready to fuck and um i love that i don't know if the dog gets credit i don't know if mattress pike clip kim cattrall the camera person the dog trainer but um you know to the dog give it to the dog do you know i had never put together in my head before that when samantha buys the dog from the the seller she says um she's been fixed but she still gets the urge i didn't realize how like one-to-one connected that

line was supposed to be to samantha and that her relationship was a metaphor for having a dog history to me yeah i think um did you realize that's what happens with female dogs i didn't know that they remove their whole goddamn uterus uh i did not know the particulars of neutering a female dog but if it's a boy dog just bloody i don't know they would chop his nuts off chop his chop his nuts off which is a female dog it's way more full-on i mean to be fair it's full-on for both but um yeah the it is possible that the movie wasn't trying to do that and you've just seen it because of how intelligent you are and how much work you're putting into him nah do you think she says she's still been fixed oh she's been fixed but she still gets the urge and then there's like a very intentional shot on samantha who like

lights up because it's like that has spoken directly to my situation i'm getting this dog who's to say we are running out of time we are you and i you guy montgomery me tim bat i reckon it's intentional you can come with me on that or not. I'll understand if you want to lash out and chastise me after what I did to your coffee guy theory. No, I'll split the difference. I think these are crumbs that have been left, not just for everyone, but for those of us willing to roll our sleeves up, grab a shovel,

and dig a fucking hole to sit in for 52 weeks. Before we go, though, it's very important, as always, we get out tim's favorite segment which is uh i don't want to bother you guys yeah now i feel like as the person who champions this segment week in week out it might be time for you to step up to the plate and tell me what exactly steve's big gesture is upon exiting that taxi cab so steve gets out of the car and approaches the group and says um sorry i don't want to bother you guys but is anyone be negative and they say steve what are you talking about and he says i got a paper cut and it turns out I recently did my genealogy

and I'm connected to royal blood so I guess this makes sense. I've got what's that fucking blood thing called where your blood doesn't clot? Starts with an H. Oh, Hema I can't remember the name of it but continue talking. I'll do the

research while you walk us please google that that'll kill that'll absolutely destroy me anyway he's been bleeding out from a paper cut uh at home for a long time and at first he was like it's a paper cut this is fine i'm i'm big tough steve you know i do big tough stuff and then he started feeling a little bit woozy and he was like oh this thing is just pouring out of my hand this is not good hemophilia hemophilia thank you so he does what any new yorker would do hails a cab with his last bit of energy and um instead of going for the hospital and entrusting his life to the public healthcare system because he doesn't have insurance um he he just goes to the party and wants to directly connect someone's blood into his body using a contraption that he's invented himself um which utilizes a sort of makeshift hydraulic pump um and in some not so sterile needles jesus yeah it's pretty full-on but i

think it's important that we all remember how serious paper can be and you need to respect it absolutely the idea of anyone arriving to an event uninvited and asking if anyone has the same blood type as they do is harrowing and inspiring i for one can't think of a better place to end this episode of the podcast tim uh just make sure that you tweet either uh rice or fish or sashimi or some variants on there. It's rice versus the sea life. We'll put the specifics of... Your tweet is what are you saying Guy? We're going to make a poll.

Yeah, yeah. We'll create a functioning poll. No we won't. I won't time that out when this comes out. I will. I'll remember. I will. Alright, go check guy montgomery's twitter account and make sure you vote on there and we'll see you guys in the next episode which i assume is me watching it tomorrow morning which makes me very sad see ya we just have a good

rhythm together you know he sort of feels me out i feel him out and we go for it