The Worst Idea Of All Time - 21: Toska

Episode Date: March 4, 2019

Welcome to Tim's first ep travelling, he wants to vomit cause Big keeps trying to devour SJP’s nose. We’ve got some readings from the Sex and The City Movie book (which came from the rubbish dump) and much more proof that Big is illiterate. Then, on to the important business of fleshing out the adventures of Rev Chris Noth. Noath? Nowth? What we do know is climate change is simply propaganda from Big Tree! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We just have a good rhythm together, you know, he sort of feels me out, I feel him out, and we go for it. Hello and welcome along to episode 21 of The Worst Idea of All Time, season 4. It's Guy Montgomery here, I'm with Tim Batt. Thanks to the power of the internet, we are not physically together, something that I am lamenting as of this afternoon. How are you, Tim? Sex and the city, we watched it, we saw the movie, we did it for 21 times. And now I'm going to blow my brains out.

It was bad, and then bad some more. I watched it in a car driving home from Gizzy. Ah, so is this your first in-motion screening this season? Yes, I believe it is. It was my first plane, train, or automobile for this season. Does that increase or decrease focus in terms of following the very carefully mapped out plot points and story twists?

Believe it or not, it decreases focus. I took a lot of breaks watching it because it was just impossible to absorb on this particular watch i had to give myself little 20 minute breaks oh my god or sorry like watch it in 20 minute um little bricks and then tune out for three minutes and go on my phone and then dive back in i think we're gonna have to i've done a i've done a consecutive screen i've done a you know a one sitting screening here i usually try to do them in one hit. I think the timing for us is different,

so it's hard for us to regulate. Look at old Monty. I do feel you might be due a one hitter, Tim, just to really hammer home the length and breadth of this film. Are you not proud of me? It's not that I'm not proud of you. It's that I know a Tim Batt that a lot of people know parts of due to the extended recordings and ramblings of us in conversation

in this exact scenario. But I know a prideful and headstrong young man who insists upon, you know, dignity and the virtues of hard work. Do you feel like I'm getting defeated by this season? Because you said a not too dissimilar thing when I mentioned that my shining light when we were talking to Io was the the end credits rolling up and you said this is not the term you would you say you said in a in a previous world you know i do you wouldn't have let me get away with that that's right this is i do i feel like uh our roles have almost

shifted i feel like you're pushing boundaries in terms of uh decency and respect being extended to the film you don't have to enjoy the film but you do have to meet it on its terms 20 minutes increments with three minute phone breaks i don't even know who i'm talking to sometimes it feels like i don't i can i legitimately cannot handle you being disappointed in me this morning. I am too tired. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I am too vulnerable. Well, Tim, I've got a great word here that I think I would like to introduce you to.

Tell me if you've heard it before. It's a Russian word. Yeah. And the word is toska. T-O-S-K-A. No, I don't know that word. Well, toska know that word. Well, Tosca is a word, it's one of those words that doesn't have an equivalent in English, but it does a great job of capturing a feeling.

And I think the feeling that Tosca captures is presumably what you're going through, certainly what I'm going through. It's a refined, elevated, and appalling kind of boredom one is bored not by a lack of appealing stimulants but by the very things that are supposed to be interesting creativity wit intelligence history the universe in its religious sense one is bored by god it sounds like depression it sounds like clinical depression yeah well yeah then does go on to say nowadays we might say with far less dignity and resonance that we are depressed wow i mean it's not an inaccurate assessment of the feeling towards the film you've just you're you're fresh a watch how do you feel uh look not great tim you know and in summation i guess i sort of i feel like

i'm tired of being uh what you want me to be feeling so faithless lost under the surface um i don't know what you're expecting of me. Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes. I'm caught in the undertow. Just caught in the undertow. Every step that I take is another mistake to you. I'm caught in the undertow. Just caught in the undertow. I've become so numb. i can't feel you there

become so tired so much more aware by becoming this all i want to do is be more like me and be less like you that cut to the core of me montgomery what song is that i'm going to assume it's called undertow so you'd think because of its repetition uh it's actually lifted from uh the 2003 album meteora by lincoln park that is numb oh true true and uh look that is that is how i feel uh i did my best to enjoy the movie this week you know there were there were things uh and moments that were of interest curiosities um i actually had a very early shining light which you know i i was really looking out for anything to outdo this but uh i

saw it early i wrote it down uh and i want to share it with you right now just to sort of kick things off on a positive note how did that big boy uh it's at the auction incredible color scale i mean i've i think i've spoken not at length but in passing about i think just the the auction i think is a is a great feat of filmmaking you know they've got a lot of uh well healed well turned out people a lot of different colors uh it's quite an exciting visually stimulating piece of cinema and as kim cattrall is you know frantically bidding against this anonymous uh absent bidder who's communicating through a phone call uh behind kim cattrall there is a woman who's browsing the auction catalog and you know quite loud glasses they're sort of

turquoise um slightly triangular framed almost of the fashion now uh and she gives samantha two looks you know she's she's not engaged she doesn't want the diamond ring at all that Samantha's bidding on. But she's aware that she's in proximity of someone who does want it quite badly. So two looks. One when she makes a regular bid at like $30,000. She looks up as though to say, oh, okay. And then the second look is after Samantha says $50,000. And she does a very good sort of,'s not a spit take but it is almost

like a double take a comically exaggerated look um where she looks up and sort of smiles to herself as though to say well you know she's she's here to you know win this ring and uh it was just it was great acting it was great uh performance i believed it. She had fun with it. It left me wanting to drink a bottle of champagne with this lady. That's great. And I don't even know if that's the character or the woman who was acting. But either way, left a really great taste in my mouth. I know exactly who you're talking about based on that description.

Which is a testament to your descriptive skills and to the fact that we've watched the film 21 times. Yeah, and also to her performance, lest we forget. All three. All three of those things. Before I do my shining light, which I'll bookmark for later, look, something has been sent to me by my own family my brother um i got a big package in the mail um a few days ago before i left town and i thought oh wow someone's someone's giving me a present what a thing how unexpected and wonderful my birthday isn't for ages and i looked on the

back and it had my brother's return address and i thought oh wow john's got me something how interesting and i opened it up and what he's got me is a hardcover book uh which is sex in the city the movie and i messaged john and i said wow john thanks i hate it and he said you're welcome I got it from the dump so when my brother went to drop off a whole lot of rubbish you can go to the dump shop does everyone call it the dump by the way

or is that a bit of a Kiwi-ism the refuse station where you drop off all your rubbish your trash I'm not sure exactly but I think you've done a good job of covering it for everyone i think it's dump i think dump is true everywhere dump's a good word isn't it i really like it and it is where this book belongs and where it came from it's in recently

good nick although i did um i opened it up and it ripped away from the spine sort of thing so that's a you know that's, uh, yeah, that's what will happen if you keep your books down the dump. What's inside of it. Is it one of those sort of books where they've, uh, like put it in chronological order, taken photos,

both production stills and behind the scenes stills from the movie and sort of put it all together. And it's got like a vague outline of the story and a few, uh, very secondhand and not's got a vague outline of the story and a few very second-hand and not really remotely interesting tidbits about the production process of the movie. You fucking pretty much nailed it, mate. It's just pictures.

It looks like it's just stills with little tidbits of information. I'll read you out the content so we know what we're dealing with. Introduction by Mattress Pikelet King on page we're dealing with uh introduction by mattress pikelet king on page six and then an introduction by sarah jessica parker on page seven so we know that mattress pikelet is um definitely a man of few words there i'd i'd like to hear his introduction please and i would love to read it to you is he introducing the book itself or the

movie oh let's find out after the most satisfying run of my professional career, I was approached to write and direct the Sex and the City movie. My immediate response was cautious. Interesting. Let me think about it. But that night, I couldn't sleep. As soon as someone even mentioned opening that door, ideas started to pour out of me. It was as if Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha had been there all along, waiting and ready to come back.

I felt the movie should be large in scope, in experience. And in order for the audience to experience what I wanted the girls to experience, I decided the movie should span a year. Well, I guess i got my wish because when i printed out the first draft of the script it was exactly 365 pages long it seemed that these women or i had a lot to say so i took my american version of the assisted it seems like just you had a lot to say. No one else wrote your 365-page script. And sequestered myself in a small hotel room in the California desert with running water but no television

to see which of the scenes would emerge victorious. Part of the reason the script was so long was that I was writing for four icons, each with loyal fans who were waiting to see how their favourite girl's life had turned out. I always knew that Carrie, oh, that the Carrie wedding was the, quote, big story left untold.

So I built the script around that. Would they or wouldn't they? Typical romantic comedies, building to see the girl in the gown at the end, but I thought, what if the wedding fell apart early? Then what? I didn't want a wedding to be the defining in the gown at the end, but I thought, what if the wedding fell apart early? Then what? I didn't want a wedding to be the defining moment in Carrie's journey.

It was too easy and not very Carrie. Nine bloody rounds later, I emerged with a shooting script and a sunburn. Left behind on the hotel room floor. I'm pretty confident that you're just reading what he's written, but the language and the way he's talking about this does feel like you're taking some creative liberties not at all i haven't added a word um it's just a testament to me making it real for you i think

i'm a very gifted actor uh okay so this is where it gets interesting guy um i emerged with a shooting script in the sunburn left behind on the hotel room floor charlotte's braless nanny oh wow oh okay okay okie dokie so the second movie is just a mop-up of ideas that got cut from the first. But that is incredible. Right. So in script writing terms, one page is roughly one minute on screen. So, you know, I love a 90-page, 90-minute movie. 365 pages is incredibly long.

And to think that nine rounds. Yeah. nine rounds yeah but you know you think he would have maybe been aiming to get it down under 200 pages but he was not that hard on himself oh yes he was because why did he get it he was initially and then he just put them all back in for the second film. Yeah, I guess. There's more, Guy. Let me continue. Charlotte's Braless Nanny, Miranda's angry post-breakup dating montage. I would have liked to have seen that.

Would you like to have seen that? Absolutely. Samantha's other Hollywood client, an anorexic starlet named Ginny Lynn, whom the tabloids nicknamed Thinny Thin. I thought it was good. Do you know, Skinny Ginny would be so much better. Of course. Of course.

Why didn't you let Guy edit this thing? And carries rebound fling with a Ron Perlman type named Mr. Bigger. Oh, mercy. Like all relationships that don't last despite the love, these scenes were gone. Now, impossible as it seemed, it was time to make the movie and direct these amazing actresses once more. It does seem impossible mattress you're right i was going from the desert to dessert and in their hands my words became

heartbreaking laughter and this fictional year in their lives became real as carrie says i guess in some houses fairy tales do come true mattress parklet king she says that she says that in the movie uh do you know that was actually quite interesting and uh a reminder that what we are watching is real and was created not by some nefarious sort of hollywood machine which in part it was you know sent to destroy us but it was uh i don't want to call it a labor of passion because i feel like you know money talks but certainly a welcome reminder that effort has gone into this it was man man with all his foibles i have wrought this hell i don't know how long uh sarah jessica parker's reflection on the process is but um if you'd be open to reading that, I would probably actually also be quite interested.

So here we are. When we wrapped the show in February 4th, 2004, at nearly three in the morning, I never imagined that four years later we would be saying goodbye to each other all over again. But first, we had to say hello. As you may have heard... That's a neat bit of writing, isn't it? As you may have heard over the last few years, this movie was alive, then dead, and then alive again. But the important thing is that in the summer of 2017,

it was alive, and ago, and more real real than ever and we got to start the process all over again i just like to mention guy that that final sentence starts with an and which i was told when i was a kid you shouldn't you should try and avoid i know but sometimes i can't help myself i didn't write that but i can relate to someone who did. There was an enormous amount that had to be done in far too little time. Our writer and director, Mattress Parklet King, had locked himself away for months to write what I knew would be the movie worth waiting for. As far back as spring 2006,

when it still wasn't entirely clear where we'd be making the movie, I recall making endless lists all all day long, and in the middle of the night, of every little and big thing that simply had to be done. Things had to be retrieved, set pieces from all over the globe, and props that may or may not have existed anymore, never mind personally begging the Smithsonian to let us borrow Carrie's desk, which to our great honour had become a permanent exhibit at the museum thank goodness they were lovely and so helpful because my superstition and nostalgia superstition might not have allowed me to shoot the movie without that desk does sarah jessica parker

realize that there are whole teams of people in the crew whose job it is to do all of these things that she's taken upon herself she is she's an executive producer in the latter seasons of the show and in both of the films so this might actually fall on her no this is grunt work this is not she doesn't need to trifle herself with begging the smithsonian yeah yeah you might be right i i kind of get the sense she probably didn't personally write that letter i feel like that was someone else making those calls didn't she just say she personally begged the smithsonian she said thank goodness they were so lovely and helpful before that she didn't oh sorry you did right yeah sometimes when you're reading things aloud you don't really absorb it

i do know that we know we all know it all now um i'll continue and we had to try and get a commitment from all crew members i felt we couldn't make the movie without all the people all the sets all the details getting everyone and everything back together at the right time and in the right place, the odds seemed insurmountable. But the effort was worth every dead end and missed opportunity and impossible task. This particular project, more than anything else I've worked on, takes an extraordinary meaning for me. And I think it's because of our audience. They've always inspired us, and we've pushed ourselves to be the best we can be, in part because we couldn't and wouldn't do it any other way, but also because people who have

invested so much time and affection deserve nothing less. All these years later it remains an honour, a privilege, a wonderful challenge and a fervent dream to be everything you, our audience, wants us to be. We hope we have lived up to your expectations and we thank you from the bottom of our hearts for giving us this opportunity once again sarah jessica parker well it's heartfelt and uh you know if i was at the helm of a hundred million dollar franchise i would also be incredibly grateful to those who have helped me get there. I feel like Mattress's reflections and ruminations, I guess, you know,

it sounds like he was the core creative team, whereas SJP took on a lot more administrative sort of work, like cataloging props that they needed back. I'm happy to hear that. She sounds like she's pulling her weight but uh i don't know i i mean are you gonna keep the book it's a good question um no i don't think so i don't think it sparks a joy in me, so I don't think I should hold on to it. Yeah, that's fair.

I think, I don't know, I actually quite liked hearing Mattress Pike. I tried to find him on Twitter just earlier, to no avail. I have found Chris Noth. The Reverend. The Reverend himself. I've been digging around about him a little bit

lately actually i found him on instagram what's his particular style on instagram on both uh on instagram he's like pretty wholesome family man He has a young son called Orion. And he takes great pride in Orion's growing up and becoming a wonderful young boy. He obviously loves his wife very much. He's proud of his work. He appears to be working on a show called Gone. He's a graduate from the yale drama department the second ever post he did on instagram was a low resolution shot downloaded from getty images uh and it's

a picture of him and john corbett who is the actor who plays aiden which i found to be of uh mild interest but all in all you know like he there's not a lot of I tweeted at him I've tweeted at him asking about

what he thinks of the theory that Mr. Big is illiterate did you? I didn't know that I haven't heard back how much time have you given it? oh you know the better part of a day.

Dang it. Reverend. Yeah. Give us an answer here, mate. He, yeah, like there's, I don't know if it's his PR company or whatever, but there doesn't seem to be a lot of information about his interests and what he describes as philanthropy beyond the acting world, about the eccentric behavior. He was actually, one thing he did do is he was very dismissive of the idea

that he would have died in Sex and the City 3. Truly? Did he post something? Absolutely. What did he say? He just said he got interviewed not long after those rumors circulated by The Sun, which is a British newspaper. It's a tabloid, isn't it, The Sun? It's a bad rag. He said that there's no way he was, in reference to Mr. Big, there's no way he was dying.

That was all a lie. Didn't that come from a fairly official source well uh hp it came from this little source joke guy because it's a homonym yeah no you've done great work uh it came from because if you remember the the genesis of the rumor it sort of came from Kim Cattrall's camp, as in she would not be happy to be in a film which focused so heavily on the death of Mr. Big and then Carrie's fallout, because it wouldn't give Samantha enough space to have fun in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it was a planted story. It wasn't real. This was Tomfoolery by Kim Cattrall. Well, it's impossible to say. But, I mean, all that to say, I don't know. I think I became convinced even further that Mr. Big is illiterate in this movie. And I posit to you, Tim,

that because you'll remember we've spoken before about the jilting, not having any real grounds or there's no actual reason beyond not seeing Carrie's face behind the veil for why he wouldn't have walked down the aisle. Seems to come out of nowhere, yeah. Very flimsy storytelling. He calls Carrie the night before the

wedding right sure and he says is this something we really want to do now we can work out we've interpreted that to be in reference to getting married i think that that is in reference to writing and reading their own vows at the wedding. Oh, I see. He never explicitly says the thing that they might not want to do is about getting married. He jilts her not because of not seeing her, but because of the humiliation that would come with publicly acknowledging at a high-end wedding. He's illiterate. This makes perfect sense because this is why he's so sensitive to the number of guests wedding. He's illiterate. This makes perfect sense because this is why he's so sensitive

to the number of guests coming. That's right. He goes on in that same conversation. He says, everything's great as it is. I don't want to screw it up. And she says, you won't screw it up.

He says, I screwed it up twice before. He never specifically says he's talking about marriage. Just as as conceivably he'd be talking about trying to put pen on paper do you know the other really painful thing that this makes apparent in light of this revelation is just how hurtful it must have been for him to hear the advice from carrie when she says can I give you a little advice as a writer and then continues to give him some advice

about writer's block. Not something he's suffering from, his particular reflection, illiteracy. And I don't think a writer is going to be able to be very sympathetic to the plight of that particular disability. God knows how much work and energy, the reason he's so haggard and rough around the edges the whole movie is because of how much trouble he's had to go to to to hide this

fact from carrie but when he's she talks about upping the ante she's talking about the the you know the blowing out of the invitation list and he's pretending to read an email on his computer and he says i have to write an email that's like the most uh public confession it's the most courage he's ever managed to build up to sort of you know allude to or at least begin alluding to his illiteracy but carrie changes the conversation again we do need to dig into the fact that he appears to read that email though guy because we see some words on screen of it, and it seems to match up roughly with what he's talking about. It does appear, in fact, to be an email from the contractor. Almost, but not quite.

He says, like, you can see shapes through practice behavior. He can follow an inbox and make it look like he's getting through the emails. But we've never seen an email he's responded to. He sends out, apparently, huge amounts of emails, which are just copy and pasted love stories from the internet. Does that require literacy? I don't know. No. I don't think it necessarily does i think that makes it all the sweeter that it's a labor of love where he's basically matching up symbols one at a time from

a page on pressing buttons on a keyboard but it does feel like he sort of has the gist of that email we see from the contractor who's pushed the move-in date so i don't know i don't know a little loose end we need to tidy up at some point but i can't even be bothered talking about that because i just i want to i want to get to know the reverend chris knoweth you know that's the man the man behind the big is who i want to get to know what do you want to know about him i want to know about this religious sect that he's formed in the hills because where is he again i've forgotten what bit of america he practices his faith uh you and me both i i couldn't tell you i remember that for a while he really had

a head full of steam and was uh charging around It feels like the Midwest sort of preaching to anyone who would listen. Yeah. Yeah, he's basically a messiah. He's just rolling around, spinning yarns, trying to derive some meaning out of the TV show that he was in, The River and Chris Noweth. That'd be interesting, actually, telling parables from the sex in the city

tv show as if they're religious instruction so just repurposing storylines from that show um maybe that's how the bible got written originally i don't know there is a certain neatness as well uh and i'm guilty of doing this uh whenever and wherever possible because i truly believe it to be the case that there is no clear line to be drawn between the real world and the cinematic worlds that actors uh you know exist in so if mr big is illiterate so too is chris knoweth and uh the reason there might not be a lot of writing or scripture around the parables he preaches is because he can't write it down. Is he good with words?

Yes. Is he a charismatic speaker? Absolutely. I mean, you don't need to know how to read or write to build a following. You just need to know how to command an audience charles manson was famously illiterate as a youth i didn't know that they're right yeah he didn't have too much trouble building a a group of followers or family as he called them taking up uh residence on a ranch on the outskirts of los angeles spahn ranch

i don't think you've been getting into your marilyn your manson stuff i don't think chris noah has the same intentions for his group i think his or his acolytes i think that uh his his intentions are slightly more pure but i'm saying you know it's not without precedent for an uh illiterate hollywood wannabe star to yeah not at all to take the in fact i i think they're not just coincidental but they're actually related it's kind of like if you they say that if you take away one of your senses the other senses get heightened it's sort of like that wherein if you lose the reading and writing or you never gain the ability to read and write and you can't communicate with people in that level

you get a hyper developed sense of charisma and being able to convince people and sort of you know read their little micro expressions and respond to them very quickly to give them what they need to get them to do what you want it's like a like a little magic spell that he's casting over his peeps but what do you think his goal is because um i know a lot of religious sects are about doomsday prophecies and trying to protect the followers do you think it's that sort of a thing or or do you think it's a more sustainable long-running kind of a religion where he's here for the long haul trying to make heaven on earth uh i think there is probably more legs on the doomsday sort of prophecy angle, if only because if we continue to blur the lines of what Chris Noweth knows of the world and the Sex and the City universe,

as told, as evidenced by exhaustive research on Sex and the City 2, and the bulk of his religious work coming between and then largely after the release of that movie he's got uh troves of information about you know two different but very serious threats to the world in the forms of brady and dick bot yes boy so this is about this is this is about the um him spreading the good word. Has he picked a side, do you think?

Or is he simply here to warn us all that this battle is going to basically darken our skies? There's no good or bad side. I think it's just a man trying to tell anyone who will listen to watch out and be careful. I think that's really important. And I think that if I were to become a religious religious leader it would be around a similar sort of idea i've heard fundamentalist christianity being described to me in the past as if you saw someone who was standing on the road and you saw a truck headed for them you would do everything in your power to try and get them out of the way you would yell at them if they didn't respond you would try everything in your power to try and get them out of the way you

would yell at them if they didn't respond you would try and forcibly move them and that is the feeling that these religious folks have is that they are so confident in the harm that is impending and the danger that their uh you know co-humans' souls are in, that they will do anything to try and help you because they have the truth. They see the truck, even when you don't. True of Jehovah's Witnesses, right? The Church of Latter-day Saints.

The reason that they're so vocal and diligent in their spreading of the Word of God is because, I mean mean they've been proven wrong a few times before but you know lord knows that's not going to stop them telling you anyway uh the apocalypse is nigh and if you don't repent and convert you will spend eternity i think either on i think there's actually tears i think you're either you're saved or possibly you spend an eternity in hell if you're specifically bad or if you're kind of neutral you just remain right on earth amongst the ruins of what was after the rapture yeah i see this also reminds me a lot of

the greatest modern day religion uh which is uh and i'm doing air quotes that you can't see climate science whereby we're being told that we're all in danger of the sea levels rising and the uh air that we breathe becoming unfit for humans i'm sure and the temperature getting out of an inhabitable range okay Okay, mates. I'm sure that's happening on the whole planet. Why? Because we bloody bought a couple of plastic shopping bags? I think not. Park your fever at the door.

If climate change is real, then how come I'm still wearing the same clothes I was a year ago? Yeah. This is just Big Tree trying to interfere with the very fine, very sustainable coal industry. Everyone knows in their heart, coal's good. Coal's good. It's fun to say.

It's fun to mine. You know? Coal's good. What? It's a... Yeah, I mean, is coal as popular as it was? Is coal a never-ending resource? We're not going to run out of coal, are we?

Coal's forever. Everybody knows that. I like that. If we were going to run out of coal, why haven't we run out so far? Checkmate, atheists. Look, I'm not here to argue with you, Tim. I actually would also be interested to know

if Chris North is sort of using the following he's built up in the awareness of Brady and Dick Bott and sort of in the interest of staying in the public eye and capitalizing on current global trends, I'm not talking about the actual climate changing, but I'm talking about this undying enthusiasm from these fucking tree-hugging liberals to say that it is happening. You know, if he doesn't leverage his following into being quite vocal

and outspoken people saying, hey, the climate's not changing. Yeah, man, I think you're right. I think it's an important part of the Church of Chris Noah. What do we know to be true? There is an impending battle for the fate of the planet between an artificial intelligence that half the time just wants to have sex with Samantha Jones

and the other half of the time just wants to fight King Brady, the Rat King, for global dominance. That's going to kick off. And also, the other thing we know to be true, Cole's good. He's infiltrated his first Instagram post, the one I described in which he's featured with the actor who plays Aiden, His first Instagram post, the one I described in which he's featured with the actor who plays Aiden, is actually from a benefit for the Rainforest Action Network, which is a collective who are looking to preserve forests, protect climate and uphold human rights, challenging corporate power and systemic injustice. justice what better way than to cut one of these operations down at the knees than to infiltrate it

on the ground floor by saying you believe everything they're saying i mean in the interim while you're doing your plotting and planning while you're infiltrating the group oh way to throw them off the scent absolutely and we know that these people are gullible they believe in climate change in the first instance. Now, it's snowing summer on Earth right now. Hello. Yeah. If it's so hot, then how come it's negative five degrees outside?

Think about that. Exactly. Think about that. Hopefully, we covered some of the ground that you were hoping to there. I mean, there's more questions than answers on my end, but I would love to direct the conversation back to Sex and the City and ask you if you do have a shining light. Yeah, this watch, it's Charlotte's dress during the sequence where they're trying to tidy Carrie Bradshaw's apartment away and it takes four friends three days

to pick up 20 years into 38 boxes, if I remember the line correctly. I am really making a fist of trying to memorize as much of the script as I can now, Guy, just so you know. But the Marilyn Monroe dress that she wears, which is done in the style of Andy Warhol, where it's sort of a tessellated image of marilyn's face done over again with different basic colors i quite like that dress

so that was my shining light i have a low light that i'd also like to um before you do i'd just like to say uh interestingly in some of my research i found out that patricia field who did the costume designs for the series and also the movie uh she modeled charlotte's uh fashion in this film because i think charlotte probably has the best fashion of the four gals throughout the film uh after jackie jackie kennedy ah i can see that oh jackie oh i i think in particular the polka dot dress in which her water breaks when she's furious with big has shades of jackie o all over it there's no pink chanel though that i've seen in this film that's true um now the low light is when we get our first on-screen glimpse of Mr. Big, which must have been pretty delightful to be in the cinema if you're a big Sex and the City fan.

It's like, hey, Big's back, baby. Here he is. And no sooner have we seen him than he launches into his first stomach-churning nose kiss, and it is the biggest one of the three times he does it in the film. He basically envelops Sarah Jessica jessica parker's entire nose with his lips and this time when i was riding in a car for seven hours coming back from my wife's hometown visiting her family back to our home of auckland uh i almost wanted to spew

in the car it was so gross to me Just fucking putting someone's nose in your mouth. Did you pause it and canvas the car for responses to how they feel about the nose kiss? No, I thought it was too early to do that because that moment happens like three and a half minutes into the movie and I was like, this film. It is an ongoing point of contention between us

on just how rank it is. I mean, I've defended it before. I've watched it some weeks where I have been disgusted. I think the way that he envelops the entire base of the nose is inappropriate. An affectionate peck, as though you're kissing a relative's cheek on the nose, even if it's your lover, that's all right.

But when you're sort of fumbling around open mouth as though it's the same way he reads emails you know he doesn't know the particulars of what he's meant to do but he can approximate how a kiss works how affection works he can approximate how reading looks so he can look like he's reading an email if you see him in your periphery, which is how Kerry observes him reading his emails. The responding of... Guy. Yeah. I always want to hear what you have to say,

but I want to do our two segments and also get done reasonably quickly. I think we've period on for a little bit. Yeah. Can I throw the reins at you for our famous segment that you and i love sorry to bother you uh absolutely so uh steve obviously arrives he gets out of the car he says i don't want to bother you guys so they say you're not bothering us and steve pulls down his trousers he pulls down his underpants, he says, does this look normal to you?

And what he presents is honestly one of the healthiest penises you will ever see. Really? Yeah. But the reason that Steve is so paranoid is he has accidentally, he is rooming to save money with someone who's setting up a small marijuana dispensary in their apartment in Brooklyn and is experimenting with different strengths of cannabinoid oils or cannabis oils. And so Steve took what he thought would be roughly 50 grams of cannabis oil but has wound up ingesting roughly 600 grams of cannabis oil but has wound up ingesting roughly 600 grams of

cannabis oil the man is paranoid and spiraling out of control god knows how he managed to grab a cab and navigate his way to that nightclub or restaurant but uh pretty much what you are witnessing in that moment is the culmination of his paranoid fantasies and it does not matter how frequently he's reassured by the party guests that his penis is actually in tip-top condition. He just stands there with his cock out until he's taken away by the appropriate authorities. I can't help but realize that you've recently moved

to New York City and suggest that this sounds slightly too detailed to not be autobiographical. It's not remotely autobiographical, but it is inspired by experiences I have either overheard or come across in New York City. Very cool. And our final segment,

Pop Quiz, bitch. Oh, it's back. What is the name? You fucker. What is the name of the woman whose benefit auction we're all attending at the start of the film where Samantha Jones gets her flower ring? I know that she's a waitress turned model turned billionaire's girlfriend, but I could not tell you her name.

I actually didn't write it down. So I was kind of hoping you knew. Nah, I don't know. I mean, also we don't see her so she probably remains uncredited so it would have to be a week-to-week observation. Look, just before we go, someone reached out to to me i don't know how they know this but they said they know who coffee guy is yeah i saw that crazy thing to be introducing at the end of this episode

guy well uh it turns out that what they presented was a dead end the last correspondence with them said it appears though this movie doesn't have the secret agent coffee guy um are you standing fast to your theory that it was the guy that i sort of dismissed out of hand absolutely i thought that someone might have brought forward evidence that could disprove that theory and suggest that he's in another place. But our only lead so far has fallen through. And so I remain correct.

I think the burden of proof probably still is a little bit on my shoulders. But, you know, until you show me someone else who it could be, I'm not budging. Yeah. All right. Fair enough to you as well.

Don't bring me problems. Bring me solutions. Thanks for listening, everyone. And I would like to just give a quick shout out to this episode sponsor, which is the church of latter day. No, it's protecting us all from the destruction

and fallout of the last battle god bless we just have a good rhythm together you know like he sort of feels me out i feel him out and we go for it