The Worst Idea Of All Time - 22: Monster Shlong

Episode Date: March 7, 2019

Guy wants to home in on some script critique on a lack of food critique in the dialogue. The boiz investigate what else Steve has been up to and wouldn’t you know it, Siri is listening in. A diverge...nt path into the Snowden files, an apology from humanity to rats and explanations on how New Zealand sensibilities are destroying cafes and economies await you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 we just have a good rhythm together you know he sort of feels me out i feel him out and we go for it welcome to the 22nd episode of the fourth season of the worst idea of all time a podcast series with myself and guy montgomery where we watch and review the same movie every week for 52 at least times uhvious seasons have seen us done this on a weekly basis and I'm sure for the mathematicians at home you'll already know that that equals a year. This time we've embarked on the journey
Starting point is 00:00:34 at a right clip and we're releasing two episodes a week which sees us sitting down to spend two and a half hours with the gals two times a week. Too much, I would say. What are your thoughts, Guy? Certainly too much.
Starting point is 00:00:50 I was asked recently, I told someone I couldn't do something because I had to watch Sex and the City, and they said, don't you think you've seen that enough? Yeah. And, you know, it's conflicting, isn't it? Because on one hand, absolutely, I think I've seen it more than enough. But on the other hand, not by a long shot, not by 30 screenings I haven't.
Starting point is 00:01:16 So it's a difficult question to answer, more challenging than it should be. Certainly thinking about it a lot more than I need to be. I woke up at 8 a.m to watch this your classic uh first thing in the morning affair timbo yeah uh i made a coffee for myself i took the computer next to the stovetop and made myself a coffee i took back to bed and then ken uh my beautiful ken has just returned. Have we ever talked about Ken on the podcast?
Starting point is 00:01:52 I don't know, but he certainly occupies a very popular and interesting space amongst my friends, both in New York and New Zealand, especially the ones who don't know him. Ken, he's very well liked by people who've only met him a couple of times. And that's not to say he's not well liked by... Quite the diss. No, no, no. He's also well liked by people who've met him more than a couple of times.
Starting point is 00:02:16 But like... Interesting that you front loaded the sentence in the way that you did. Yeah, I think it's just because i was just with a friend who's met him a couple of times and was very excited that i was coming home to see ken and was like say hi to ken that's uh yeah do you think we can mention what his chosen profession is because i think this is ken is a fucking great dude to be around just as a normal human but i think also his job adds uh quite a level of of cool yeah or ken is a very talented uh painter um and designer but painting is his and it's sculpture now as well actually is his passion uh he's he's such a talented artist that for my wedding gift a whole slew of my friends
Starting point is 00:03:02 banded together to buy an original Ken Griffin piece, which sits above my bed. It's like my first real bit of art. I'm so proud to have it. It's very cool. He's at Ken Griffin, G-R-I-F-F-E-N on Instagram, if you're curious. But anyway, he's come home.
Starting point is 00:03:24 And so to brighten my screening uh he actually brought me in a plate of um scrambled eggs so breakfast in bed with the gals and it arrived when the gals were at a restaurant and um I noticed as I was eating the eggs I said to Ken, these eggs are delicious. For they were. And it occurred to me as I said that, I can't remember what meal specifically the girls were eating, but for how often they're in cafes and restaurants
Starting point is 00:03:54 and how often we see them eating food, they never comment on the flavor. No one ever says, hey, this is delicious, or I don't like this food very much. Yeah. Which is infuriating. Would you like to see more of that in the film? More of a culinary description?
Starting point is 00:04:14 Yeah, I think certainly, I don't know that realism is exactly what the movie is going for, but, you know, surely if you go out for a meal, you're going to comment on the meal, aren't you? Sure. Am I mistaken? You're not mistaken. I feel like perhaps what's happened here is because you've seen the movie 22 times now,
Starting point is 00:04:32 you've not forgotten per se, but maybe deprioritized a sort of function of storytelling in film, which is extraneous information. We kind of want to get rid of that so the theme of sex in the city is about relationships and sex and friendships and things and uh commenting on the food isn't isn't really what we're there to do with due respect to you and mattress pike like king i think there is an hour of footage in this movie that could very well be replaced or even cut outright. And my request for a little bit of ordinary conversation that represents what a meal out is actually like is pretty fucking valid. But like I said, Tim, with all due respect.
Starting point is 00:05:20 So please don't misread my tone or sentiment. Well, let's get into it let's rattle off the times when the gals are tucking into a bit of nosh we have early in the film um there what is what is the first one when they're together the first memorable one is when they're talking about how often they have sex uh yeah but is there there one before that? Or is that... No, that is the... Shit. They're all so similar, those scenes. I think that is the first. Yeah, and then they also definitely have a meal
Starting point is 00:05:53 in the immediate aftermath of Steve confessing that he slept with someone else. And that was another thing that got me. And I might be being unreasonable here, but when Steve said, it's still me, after he's confessed to cheating and he's in bed and he shoes off the dog
Starting point is 00:06:09 hold on do the voice it's still me I actually fell down a Google hole for the actor who plays Steve yesterday he's the star of a show about a fireman in Chicago I think on CBS he's a guy of a show about a fireman in chicago i think on cbs he's a guy called david eigenberg
Starting point is 00:06:28 and uh he tweets a lot but it's all just promo for the show but like he seems like a solid dude didn't we hear a backstage story from one of hollywood stars one time when we were in california about him asking to see someone's massive dong yes does that ring any bells for you he was working alongside maybe like a john ham or something someone who there'd been a rumor about him having a massive hog and uh what's his name again the actor david david David Eigenberg. David Eigenberg was just like, let's fucking see it. Whip it out, man. Whip it out.
Starting point is 00:07:08 Yeah. That does sound familiar. Or it's also hazy enough that it could be, in my memory... Someone was asking to see his. Yeah, he might have a monster schlong. By the way, Suri somehow picked up on this conversation halfway through and it's got a return here for solitude so okay if you're wondering is a state of seclusion or isolation
Starting point is 00:07:33 something has happened okay sorry you go explain i.e a lack of contact with people i'm just reading wikipedia now so you know go ahead very good there is something that has happened in the last couple of months, an update that Apple has put out, because I have listened to so many podcasts recently, and I'm talking big ones. It happened on My Brother, My Brother and Me recently. It happened on Pod Save America, where Siri just suddenly started listening and babbling back to them,
Starting point is 00:08:00 and it seemed to all be, like, in the same fortnight. So, I don't know, man. Fucking Apple's on there. It's got an itchy trigger finger when it comes to all be like in the same fortnight. So I don't know, man. Fucking Apple's on there. It's got an itchy trigger finger when it comes to the Siri thing. Well, they do want... They just want to pick up what everyone is saying. So, and you know what I say? All power to them.
Starting point is 00:08:17 Yeah, I guess. They're in charge now. Take my information. I'm not going to stop using your products or any of the other smartphones. They're too convenient. We can all complain about it, but no one's actually doing anything.
Starting point is 00:08:28 Just roll over and give them your goddamn data. And Apple, if you're listening to this, which I know you are, sponsor our fucking podcast, you holdouts. What are the odds that this is all going to go south? And by that, I mean the technology companies actually fulfill this dystopian vision that's in a lot of sci-fi movies where they just become like one mega conglomerate and suddenly we've all got
Starting point is 00:08:50 social credit cards for a long time episode i thought that they might win the race but i think the climate has just pulled ahead and honestly is an absolute front runner. There is no planet on which they win. I used to think of this as a two horse race, right? I thought about this for a long time in these terms. The race was, is climate change going to wipe out the planet before we can get to Mars and actually start colonizing? Will we be able to leave the planet? Because it's going to be fucking tight like this race is something's gonna we don't deserve mars how would you like what does that
Starting point is 00:09:33 look like we show up on mars and we're like hey can we crash here we absolutely fucking destroyed the last one imagine someone coming to your house and be like hey can i stay on your couch like yeah man sure what happened oh i just like never took out the trash or anything and then the whole house like caught fire because of my ineptitude exactly that's exactly what it is it's um yeah but sorry so it was a two horse race between us yeah us being able to leave our planet and colonize the rest of space versus the climate just clipping us off before we could take off
Starting point is 00:10:09 the ground. Because it will be very close. But you're right, there's almost a third player which is the tech companies who want to, I don't know what their game is, but maybe to pull us back to Earth, keep us here so they can just observe us and watch all of our data forever. The is tech companies are just people right so well i don't think not
Starting point is 00:10:32 anymore because now it's ai so we've got this tricky other thing it's true but yeah i guess but there are people withholding how much information or how developed that ai is becoming so it's still people i think it is now yeah we will we will lose control but yeah all that to say i don't think tech companies beyond just taking all this information i don't think there's a plan it's like once they've got it they're gonna figure out how much pushback there is and like what how far exactly they can take it and it's just like it's literally it's all response it's just people who are doing a thing and they get as much of the thing as possible it's madness
Starting point is 00:11:13 so we're we're going down the rabbit hole now but i read um a book called the snowden files uh about edward snowden and um it went through kind of blow by blow it was written by this uh british journalist who was really really good and kind of followed the whole case went through blow by blow just how much data um the uk spy agencies the i think what is it called like the gc yes no that's our one the g part of hoover's part of five eyes yeah yeah yeah they're like spy agency and the america like the nsa in america just how much data they were shoveling up and it was like every bit of data that was traveling through the uk was being duplicated and kept in storage but they had
Starting point is 00:11:57 no fucking like it's they couldn't do anything with it they were just swimming in data and they had no idea how to sift through it's because it's it's it's like a precious it's like a mineral it's like they know that there's value in it they don't know how exactly yet they don't know what they're going to forge out of it but why would you let it go also i think that's i think that's why they're trying to crack ai because they're like well we we actually can't figure this out so we've got to create something smart enough to sift through all the shit. They're technological hoarders. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:29 Techno hoarders. Look, all of the- They need to Marie Kondo the data. They need to hold every file in front of them and say, is this bringing our company joy? And if not, thank it and delete it. I think, honestly, they'd look at it and they'd think, is this bringing me joy? And it would because it's not the file that's in front of them.
Starting point is 00:12:47 It's the idea of having that information in power. Yeah. And that is still a kind of joy. It's a dark joy. What do you think Dick Bob fits into this vision of the future? Honestly, the only person who uh sort of sits uh on similar or slightly uh superior pegging to this conversation is dick bot and it's the main thing holding brady back is for all of the developments all the breakthroughs he's had he's still operating on a biological
Starting point is 00:13:19 level uh so no brady like that's oh yeah yeah big advantage um i love this idea i love this idea that it's it's kind of like a luciferian if that's a word like a like a satanist vision of and i'm talking church of satan not like satan how the christians tell it but like kind of a fallen angel is our last hope that this this dark character this guy has descended literally subterranean into the sewers to hang out with these animals that we detest and have been trying to kill off for ages and he's commanding them now he is our last hope we had to forge our greatest villain to save us yeah there's something very cool about that i like i like the idea of the apology communicated on behalf of humans yes yes whatever it is to to dick bot to say
Starting point is 00:14:14 we were we shouldn't have written you off it sounds like we just took a side and you know the thing is that that entire conversation was in service of how pissed off I was when Steve's on the bed and he says, it's still me. And Miranda says, is it? I don't know if my frustration was with Miranda or Mattress Pikelet King, but I was thinking, yes, it is still Steve. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:14:39 And he proves that, which, I mean, I guess, yeah, anyway, yes, it's still steve the most fuckable character in the sex in the city universe mayor of new york sex icon to us all and the most active fucker if our theories are to be believed which they are i was thinking this watch a lot about steve and smith garrett getting it on and uh i tell you what this is gonna be pretty hot under the collar they're two sexy men in very different ways like smith garrett has a real classical ken doll sexiness to him and steve's got a real roll up your sleeves i'll fix your plumbing and i don't mean that euphemistically. I mean, literally, he looks like a hot plumber.
Starting point is 00:15:26 Kind of a look. He's got a genuine practicality to him. Smith Jarrett, by the way, the actor who plays him, who's... Hey, by the way, how do you think you spell his surname? G-A-R-R-E-T. Jarrett. g a r r e t jared this is a classic american antipodean lost in translation pronunciation right up there in the hall of fame with craig and craig what's happened jr-o-d oh my god i was way off but that's how i fucking off that's how i imagine as well smith jared jared like the pedophile who promoted sandwiches jesus that's your go-to now when you hear the name jared name a more famous jared i'll wait oh it's a tie
Starting point is 00:16:29 both baddies but again like the um stephen smith thing uh for very different reasons stephen smith who's stephen smith? Oh, Steve and Smith. They're both sexy, but in different ways. The two Jareds, the pedophile and the man in the White House, both evil in different ways. That's all I'm saying. Close the book, put it on the shelf. Speaking of books,
Starting point is 00:16:58 should I bust out that Sex and the City book again? I don't think there was much text, actually, after the forwards. I felt like we got quite a lot out of it on the last screening but speaking of books Tim I might as well, I don't know
Starting point is 00:17:15 this framing's all wrong but I was going to say why don't we open the book of Shining Lights and chuck a couple in because my one this week or this screening was and we might have done it before but i was sort of i was quite it was quite a antsy kind of frustrated viewing for me this morning so i i channeled it on something negative that i enjoyed sort of you know ironically i guess you could say which i'm sure the cinematographer and everyone involved will
Starting point is 00:17:44 love knowing uh it's the transition shot from when carrie is in mexico and she throws her phone into the ocean and then like a media studies project when you're being taught how to use a camera and edit using imovie there's a transition fade which goes from the phone as water laps over it on the beachfront to a tyre of a moving truck driving through a puddle. And the common denominator between these two shots is water. It is the element of water. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, of course I do.
Starting point is 00:18:21 That's fucked. And from memory as well, there is like a, what do you call that? It's in sound, it's called a crossfade, but it's like that for video, right? They fade into one another. Yeah. Like you would see in a 1990s softcore porno. It is a crossfade. My main association with that editing tool or technique is when you watch someone singing
Starting point is 00:18:42 the national anthem at a sports event and they'll often overlay the face of the singer with the team sort of solidly singing along and i'm always like i'm glad that these anthems exist because otherwise that technology would be lost for all time because it's just not needed but do you do you know the national anthem of America yet? Do you know all the lyrics? I think so. Do you want me to do it? I don't know. I mean, it sort of begs you doing it, doesn't it? A little bit.
Starting point is 00:19:19 Oh, Canada, our home and native land, True patriot love in all of us command. With glowing hearts we see thee rise, The true North strong and free. rise the true north strong and free from far and wide oh Canada we stand
Starting point is 00:19:50 on guard for thee God keep our land glorious and free oh Canada we stand on god for thee and then they say that last line again and i don't know why i chose not to finish it because i sang literally every other line but there you go
Starting point is 00:20:18 there's your point um and tune in to next episode where guy will sing the american national anthem in french which is the other version you'll sometimes hear i could do that for you right now and tune in to next episode where Guy will sing the American National Anthem in French which is the other version you'll sometimes hear I could do that for you right now okay Oh Canada Oh it's bilingual No
Starting point is 00:20:37 Oh okay No Yeah No What are we Where are we off to mate they speak a different kind of french in canada it's called i thought we were in second but you put the car in fourth and i have not used the clutch no it's just slipped it right what was your shining light my shining light is is a microscopic look at a woman that we've already seen before it's a weird way of putting it
Starting point is 00:21:13 we've already covered the shining light but mine is a more specific part of it when carrie and miranda sit down on valentine's night at the cafe or the restaurant with too many balloons which i believe is the name or the restaurant with too many balloons which i believe is the name of the restaurant there's a waitress who comes to serve them and there's a little look she gives uh when she first approaches and says she's like everything on the menu tonight is valentine's themed um and and when she says that line she looks around it's a little like micro expression but even she knows that there are too many balloons and she works there she just does a quick scan around her she sort of looks up from left to right and she's like yep
Starting point is 00:21:59 we've overdone it there's too many balloons and uh it it cracks me up every week and i sort of fail to mention it but it's very funny it's generous because that's something for me to look forward to um little was i to know uh i do you think that's a decision made as the character or that the actor they just used the first take and she was kind of like... No, genuinely the character. Because the actor who plays that character, she is very good. I fucking buy her performance. They treat her like dirt.
Starting point is 00:22:37 They do. And they do this... All of the white staff in this movie are great actors. And they get treated like shit in the world of the film do you know the woman who comes up to charlotte as well very fucking good very good i think um it's quite an easy piece of casting because if you think about it there'll be a lot of you know like it's a it's a great role for a lot of aspiring performers because a lot of them work in the service industry and so it's like they've got their method it's a fusion of their two skills so they're flexing hard because they're like i can act and i wait tables so this is a
Starting point is 00:23:18 fucking breeze or if we are to believe our australian conspiracy theories from two episodes ago when you denied my theory that coffee guy used to be a biker of some description, it could just be that they're genuine waiters who do not know they're on camera and do not know who the actors who are playing the characters in Sex and the City are. And it's a hidden camera. Imagine being so focused on your role that you, like, some sort of work blindness blindness you just operate and you don't even see cameras that around you big cinema cameras lighting rigs soundies boom poles you don't see any of it you're just like my job here is to get that woman's order i'll tell you another thing
Starting point is 00:24:00 if these people are that committed to their role as a waiter they will be fuming at the knowledge that none of the people they're serving are making any observations about the food either good or bad that that is so true why don't you write one of those in mattress pike like king just to give us a sense of realism or kindness to people who are in the service industry you go out for a meal they do just as a quick aside before i go into this uh it is a it's a classic tale of someone uh it's a you know when you go on a date with someone you know you can pretty much assess whether or not they're a good or bad person based on how they treat uh the white stuff it's like you know it's a it's a pretty like it's pop psychology isn't it
Starting point is 00:24:46 people do say that they say it's a like a first date thing is you want to look at how they treat white stuff um the relation if it's a guy like their relationship with their sisters or their mother uh and how they treat animals as well as like those are those are big tells as to whether or not they're goodies or baddies absolutely that is one of the main ways we know that the characters in these films are out of touch is through both films they are very dismissive towards servers yes the american word for white stuff but this is good i'm good i'm going to be able to find this out about myself because i'm getting a dog tomorrow so we'll see if i am a goodie or a baddie what a litmus test that's very exciting i've seen a photo of the dog you are getting and ain't she a cutie i am i feel very guilty about it
Starting point is 00:25:38 because i my wife very much wants a dog she grew up with dogs she loves dogs so her birthday this year i was like you know what let's just let's do it we'll figure it out because the concern is because we rent that it will diminish our um options after this house where we can live because so many places don't take animals but i'm like you know what dogs make you happy sometimes you just got to roll with that so we're going to get the dog and i very much want to get a pound dog i don't like kind of buying into the whole breedery thing but lo and behold we've got this gorgeous little model dog that's part schnauzer part jack russell and uh i tell you what i feel a little guilty about it but holy shit is he cute well uh one what about the old one for them one for you tim this is what i'm thinking or at the
Starting point is 00:26:28 very least like a uh i'll go and help out at the spca or something you know try and try and write the wrong try on it i can get on board with that but my question to you you're out for a meal you're quite excited to go to this place or maybe you're not but you know you you expect a certain quality of food or product you place your order your meal arrives you are underwhelmed across pretty much every spectrum of the food it's not not what they said it was but it's just sort of numbly disappointing the weight the waiter comes over after the meal or during the meal they go how is everything what do you say realistically i probably go really good thank you yeah yeah same we do you think we need to stop lying to our waitstaff well it's hard because it's not
Starting point is 00:27:28 their responsibility but it's not and you know what it's one of the social dances we do they don't need that shit they're not genuinely asking there it's a nicety we're just doing the dance if not for them then for the small business owner who's trying to get their restaurant up and running constructive feedback uh i get that's what um fucking what's it called what's that review site that holds people over a barrel yelp yelp yeah that's what yelp's for no yelp is the cowards yelp is for the bottom feeders who are too afraid to say as much up front dude imagine you've you've um worked in a cafe haven't you yeah yeah i spent a lot of time working tables yeah so imagine imagine you're like how is the food they're like actually do
Starting point is 00:28:20 you know what the soup was a little bit bit too salty and the crackers were too dry. I'm not talking about soup that's slightly too salty. I mean, actually, do you know what? I am. Yeah. And I say. Yeah. I say.
Starting point is 00:28:37 I like your flexibility on this. This is good. This is good. Well, because in the world, I'm like in the mindset i'm currently trying to wrap my head around you know i didn't make the soup i'm just ferrying this information to and fro oh sorry to hear that i'll pass it on to the i'll pass it on to the chef are you gonna deal with the fucking chef are you gonna go up to the chef who we all know are very surly people they're wonderful people but boy are they angry that all the chefs I've known are angry people.
Starting point is 00:29:07 That is where the judgment call comes in. So you act as an intermediary for the intel. It's up to you to determine whether you need to ferry it back or not. We're just getting information further along the chain of command. If we do this than we currently are so but but my question to you is do you see your role as a server as kind of a an intelligence analyst where you're receiving the war because society society hasn't put that pressure on me but i think uh like when i was when i was waiting tables i was never um this was never
Starting point is 00:29:48 necessarily relevant for me because no one tells you unless they do and then from memory you write them off as a pompous fucking ass uh so we're back to square one where we should just do the dance. Am I right? No. I mean, yes, but that was my thinking could use some reframing. I think it's valuable to say, hey, the pasta's too cold. It's like social anxiety. You get so overwhelmed by the idea of saying the pasta's too cold, but I'm sure if you tell them the pasta's too cold, you're paying money to eat the pasta. past you want to be served at a reasonable temperature i truly believe your um your conflict and evolution on this and and we are the river
Starting point is 00:30:37 running between us and our opinions here reflects the different cultures of new zealand and america or specifically the east coast i think actually new yorkers will tell you if the pasture is too cold and realistically i think people probably fucking should because that you're right that is useful information but people in new zealand would never do that i think yeah you just yeah like the reviewers you say that was fantastic thank you so much best meal i've ever had and you never go back to that cafe exactly and you tell every friend family member or acquaintance you've ever met not to go to that place but you will never give them the good info yeah and we just leave the chef they go i don't understand everyone said it was the best meal they've ever had.
Starting point is 00:31:27 This is why our economy is in the toilet, man, because we just can't... No, I can figure out what the fuck's going on because we're too... I was going to say passive-aggressive. Is that the right... Is that the thing? We're too passive, I think, generally. Forget the aggressive.
Starting point is 00:31:41 No, yeah, but passivity, you know, inevitably a branch of that is passive aggressiveness do you know another thing that happens it happens in the movie and it happens in new york uh when it's when carrie's like and i don't know if this bothers you but carrie's like uh finding the perfect part is at the very start when she's doing her initial introductory monologue she's like finding the perfect partner in new york is a lot no finding the perfect apartment in new york is a lot like finding the perfect partner it can take years and new yorkers are obsessed with the idea that these challenges only exist in new york yeah where it's like that's true of anywhere like it's but wouldn't you wouldn't you
Starting point is 00:32:28 say that the trying to get it well you fucking shoot it straight guy you had to join the new york property market in some way shape or form was it crazy difficult uh no i thankfully ken the wonderful ken did all the heavy lifting for me but i but like you know like my place isn't perfect but i like it plenty yeah i i don't know i just think sure yeah it's a i have experienced the misery and difficulty of finding somebody to live in new york as i have anywhere yeah i I do think you're right. I think New Yorkers experience the world as if it's only happening to them. And then that happens,
Starting point is 00:33:10 like that reach arrives in places that aren't New York. Like if you're in Auckland, somewhere's like a New York style loft apartment and you're like, a loft apartment in New York is a piece of shit. The only redeeming factor about it is it's in New York. So if you take out the location and you say New York style loft apartment, you're just saying shit fucking apartment in Auckland.
Starting point is 00:33:33 Yeah. Yeah. You know the worst bit about that place you love? We just took that bit. Pay us lots of money. Anyhow, my God. We're all over the map today. I've got a pop quiz for you.
Starting point is 00:33:48 The correct answer is negative 15 degrees Celsius. That's how cold it was last night, Tim. Negative 15 degrees Celsius. It's pretty chilly, man. Fuck, that is cold. That's nuts, dude. 15 below freezing. That is cold. That's nuts, dude. Ah,
Starting point is 00:34:08 15 below freezing. Not into it. pop quiz, bitch. What did Samantha name her dog? Uh, I figured what's one more little bitch at a gay wedding. Uh, not, not the name, but that is a line from Sex and the City 2.
Starting point is 00:34:32 Well, in which case, I don't know. And why wouldn't you know? It's not said out loud. Did you pause it and read the dog tag? I don't think they ever fucking named the dog, bruh. I looked. I listened. I observed. They didn ever fucking named the dog bruh I looked I listened I observed They didn't name the fucking dog
Starting point is 00:34:49 A dog needs a name What about the scene where The dog runs up onto Dante's deck Cause she must be calling after it She said baby come back That's what she says She says baby The dog's name's baby she says. She says, baby.
Starting point is 00:35:06 The dog's name's baby then. The dog's name is baby. Good job. Yeah. Good job on that pop quiz, man. That was a poser that turned into a brain teaser. Guy, I want to bring up with you a line that's always bugged me. And this, I'm kind of loathe to bring it up because I know that this is just going to turn into one of those it's just going to be annoying to listen to me try to explain what i'm getting at here and it's going to be for such little payoff but i want to get into it okay
Starting point is 00:35:33 i'm very excited it irks me every time i hear it i'm glad you are everyone else listening to the podcast i'm sorry in advance this is going to be one of those annoying technicality things that you can just end the episode here it's been it's been a good chat so far so just tune out now this is true this is just for guy okay you know when carrie's narrating on valentine's night when samantha is by herself covered in sushi naked waiting for smith to come home smith jared apparently um and she says it was the same valentine's oh so samantha samantha's basically been stood up by smith because he's working late at the movie set and she looks over at her neighbor and just like all the other previous nights he is having uproarious sex
Starting point is 00:36:26 with not one but two women and the dialogue is uh it was the same valentine samantha had planned because because carrie's talking about like looking at the neighbor it's isn't she wanted to fuck minus the sushi and the extra girl now here's the thing this line does not work because if you say it's the same valentine samantha had planned minus the sushi you go okay so this line is like from the perspective of her neighbor dante as in we're fucking he doesn't have sushi so okay so we're there but then she says and the extra girl so then it like is flicked back to samantha from her point of view and it's like it's split the split the the perspective on it yeah uh it's not logically sound it breaks the world of the movie
Starting point is 00:37:21 and the thing that shits me about it, Tim, is up until that line, you are totally with these characters. You are invested in their story. The stakes are laid out very clearly. You're rooting for them to be happy in their relationships and their friendships, which, as you outlined earlier in this episode, is what the film is about.
Starting point is 00:37:41 And then all of a sudden, out of the fucking blue, this omniscient narrator who we are to believe has all the information about her friends lives even though it's never explained why and i'm assuming none of this stuff is going into her writing because she's writing a book about marriage not about whatever the fuck her friends are up to suddenly can't figure out whether or not samantha well no it's not even that she can't figure it out. It's that she can't figure out tense or how to present the information, and it pulls you right out of the world.
Starting point is 00:38:10 Thank you so much for not challenging or digging on this and just going with it. God bless you, guy. This actually feels like a great point to pinch off this turd. What do you say uh i say that would mean we forget our most beloved and popular segment i don't want to bother you people and uh truth be told steve is showing up he says i don't want to bother you people and then he obviously actually does want to bother them he is carrying seven no how many people is he talking to four four hold on sound off we are talking to samantha
Starting point is 00:38:55 steve no steve is talking we're talking to oh yeah samle Big Smith-Jarrod. Yes. I don't want to bother you people. And then he digs around in his pockets. He's got super deep pockets. So he's fumbling around in there for 25 to 30 seconds. And he pulls out a button, first of all. And he says, no, that's not it. And he throws it to the side.
Starting point is 00:39:21 And he puts his hand back into his pocket. And he's digging around, this time for even longer. And they they're like what the fuck is going on with you steve and he's like hold on hold on i got it i got it and he pulls out four different jigsaw pieces from four different jigsaws and they say steve what the hell is that and he goes they're jigsaw pieces and then they all lean in and look closer and each jigsaw piece is from a different jigsaw that each of the four characters samantha smith jared mr big and runkle have undertaken at independent points in their life. And none of them finished the jigsaws because they were all missing a piece.
Starting point is 00:40:12 And Steve presents them to them. And then they go, Steve, what the fuck? Because these people did them at such different times in their life. Like Runkle was doing this jigsaw when he was 12 years old. You know, before him and Steve ever crossed paths. And then Steve throws them in a puddle, crossfade to a beach in Mexico. A local Mexican resident citizen finds a beach, a phone in the ocean. They pick it up and they say,
Starting point is 00:40:48 I wish these tourists wouldn't pollute our oceans. Insane. Yeah, man. That's fucking good, man. You took me on a real journey there. Yeah. I don't think that last little tag was necessary, but what are you going to do?
Starting point is 00:41:05 No, I loved it. It was literally perfect. I wouldn't think that last little tag was necessary, but what are you going to do? No, I loved it. It was literally perfect. I wouldn't change a syllable. The only other thing I want to say, at the end of the movie, Carrie proposes a toast to Samantha, and then they don't cheers, which seems rude,
Starting point is 00:41:24 and then she throws another bit onto the toast where she says, to the next 50. And all of the girls cheers their glasses and say, to the next 50. None of them are going to make it. Oh. Well, it's important to end on a positive note. So I guess that is the end of this 22nd watch of sex in the city. Thanks for joining us,
Starting point is 00:41:50 everybody. We will see you in the next one. We just have a good rhythm together. You know, he sort of feels me out. I feel him out and we go for it.

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