The Worst Idea Of All Time - 27: Titplay.com.au w/ Naomi Higgins & Humyara Mahbub

Episode Date: April 9, 2021

Naomi and Hum’s show Why Are You Like This? is on Netflix from April 16!The boiz are excited and overwhelmed to discover this is the FIRST MOVIE in the Emmanuelle 2000 and establishes the rules and world of the seven Emmanuelle 2000 films they have already watched. Everything makes a lot of sense. Naomi spots an onscreen labia, reveals she’s been to Taco Bell with Hum and shares a bedroom trick that will make your man go crazy and beg you to stop! (because the joke got old). Hum’s very in to the look of our current Emmanuelle and is concerned about the current state of adult content online and whether someone’s going to “break a tit”. Unfortunately NOTE: Tim was unable to buy titplay.com.au because he does have a registered company in Australia (yet) – so it is up for grabs!TWIOAT Live show in Auckland: qtheatre.co.nz/shows/worst-idea-all-time-best-host-all-timeGuy's NZ Comedy Fest show: comedyfestival.co.nz/find-a-show/guy-montgomery/Tim's NZ Comedy Fest show: comedyfestival.co.nz/find-a-show/classy-warfare/JOIN US ON FACEBOOK: (facebook.com/WorstIdeaOfAllTime)VISIT THE LITTLE EMPIRE PODCAST NETWORK: (littleempirepodcasts.com)MUSIC CREDIT: Tender Moonlight (facebook.com/TenderMoonlight)ART CREDIT: Tomas Cottle (sick-days.com) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everybody, it's Tim here. We've got two guests on the show today who have got a show coming out on Netflix you're about to hear about. But Netflix went up and changed the date on them. It's actually out on the 16th of April, which is why this episode's coming out a little bit later than we thought. But also, if you're not in Australia, you've got to wait another week for their show to hit on Netflix. So you can go on there and add it to like a watch queue or something like that. I don't know. Anyway, it's out on the 16th of April. Enjoy. Hello and welcome along to the worst idea of all time, the horniest season on record so far. I'm Guy Montgomery. It's so funny to be in a video chat

with you and guests, spoiler alert, and see people's reaction to how we start an episode. I don't know how I was to start an episode. Don't you say the fucking name of the thing? I guess so. You're an inherently funny guy. We cannot remove comedy from you. It's in your DNA.

Okay. Wow, I'm humbled um yeah i am guy and that was tim and we've just watched a porn emmanuel 2000 intimate encounters year of release well the year 2000 and it's not just us today we are joined by two incredible guests from across the tasman uh they are a combination of lawyers and comedians and writers and actors and audio technicians please welcome naomi higgins and hum marbib thank you hello we're here and we're horny we're horny wow understandably so um so first of all such a huge thank you for coming on the on the podcast now obviously separated by disease and water we had to watch all of us actually watch this uh film independent of one another which is an unusual experience usually tim and i watch it together sort sort of blocking any opportunity for hanky-panky or funny business.

But we have four independent viewings here and four different opportunities for people to have had their wicked way with themselves. Have any of you got a background with the Emmanuel franchise? Have you seen any of these movies before? Does the name Emmanuel mean anything to you? No, I've never heard of this at all i didn't realize until afterwards that it's a whole big thing yeah i i was glad to google it and realize it has a storied history i felt like i'd been part of some sort of you know cultural porn moment and you are in many ways you

have yeah this this cinematic universe rivals that of even Marvel's. It spans back to the 70s in France and stretches out as far in front of us as we can see. The reason why we're doing it this season, well, actually, that's got no correct answer or anything that makes sense that would serve as an answer to it. But a reason why we're doing these films is because in New Zealandaland on a friday and

saturday night after midnight if you had sky television our version is like cable at foxtel you could if you knew the parental lock code for your parents digital skybox you could watch these movies so they have god for people of a certain age growing up in New Zealand, they have a very specific adolescent. They were a real moment. It was our first experience of pornography. It's your first brush with intimacy. Often you might be at a friend's house on a Friday and you're having a sleepover,

and you're not just looking forward to midnight snacks for food, ladies. You're also looking forward to some midnight breasts, if you play your cards right. It was in the days of dialogue. That's crazy. So this is as good as it got. Yeah. A real My First Boner moment for you guys. Big time. Wow. Actually, boners come on the scene much

much earlier than your mid-teens. But, you know, with no rhyme or reason. Those boners are sort of just, yeah. Oh, that's upsetting. Well, it's just how the body works. I'm sure they were great for you. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to invalidate your experience.

No, no, no. They're neither great nor terrible. They're just a shade of light. Hey, Hum, we've never met before. I've heard a lot about you. I want to know first what your experience of this film was like. Tell me all about it. I think I was messaging Naomi while I was watching,

and also I was taking little notes in the notes app, and I think I wrote, what? About 17 times. Wow, that is some amazing commentary. You should review porn. There's a line of just question mark, exclamation mark. Were you having trouble with the audio file? Why were you so confused?

I thought they laid it all out pretty clearly. It made perfect sense, first of all, because I have a science degree and I can tell that the science in this film is top notch. Naomi's the stem brain of our duo, so for my arts brain, I was just like, hold on. I see. The tubes are somehow.

The wet tubes, Hum. Why were the tubes wet? I don't know, considering nothing else was. You didn't need to connect into the wetness of, you know, the blood in the body. I thought maybe that's a reason for wetness, you know. This is pretty good because we've got the duality of Emmanuel represented with our two guests.

Hum is able to, through her arts career, astutely sort of diagnose the relationships and the intimacy and the interpersonal connections made between people in this film. And Naomi is there to analyze the anatomy and the raw sexual prowess from a biological standpoint of what was going on. So with your powers combined, you're essentially the most powerful porn podcast duo there could be. Which is really bad news for you two.

We're taking the day off, ladies. I will gladly hand over the mantle and the entire podcast that I could. I'm not sure, how many episodes are you into this season? 26. I believe this is our 26th porn. No, this is 20, or will i think be 27 because we're doing a slight switcheroo for these two wow um so you're halfway through the year but

this is this i'm sure you've talked about this already but um this must be great for you to not be watching exactly the same thing every single week yeah we don't talk about it a lot actually but it's fine what do you mean i i want to hold off on my opinion of this film for a while because i want to know what you guys think first but i will say that the decision to pivot to softcore pornography has not borne the fruit that we might have imagined at the start of the show which was boners yeah something i noticed actually that there was, I don't think I saw a single inner labia. Hum, you didn't. No, no.

I saw one. What? Oh, Naomi was having some fun watching. The eagle eyes of our science analyst. I saw one and I am so intrigued. I was trying to figure out what was going on. Okay, so there's a shot near the end. Hum wouldn't know because she didn't

make it that far because she left it a bit late. To be fair, I think it was fair of Hum to not assume that this would be an hour and a half long. I'm so sorry, I haven't seen the last half hour of the show. But that's where they tie up all the loose ends!

Robb Bogg stops at 59 minutes and I was like, an hour. Wait, what? That's not good old school porn. Yeah, because it says preview. You have to download it to get to the end of the film, which I realized, but Hum didn't. But, you know, honestly, most of the good stuff is in the first hour. Also, if you guys don't mind, just in case the FBI is listening,

we're telling everyone that we obtained these very legally and paid for them so if we could x that on the drop box a that'd be superb so the the legal legal streaming service yes erotic streaming service um anyway the legal erotic streaming service called titplay.com. Do you know how fucking, I'm sorry to do this. Do you know how hard this file was to find? I had to reach out online because I couldn't find a torrent or anything for it. And then someone was like, my uncle has the DVD. And then they ripped it in this really old school fashion.

I then had to reassemble the files in a video editing software. And then re-export it as one thing so we could wow that's why the sound wasn't synced properly good job tim i find what you guys do is comedians um there were quote marks there you can't see that you can probably hear it though i think you could hear them because i find a lot of my comedian friends doing this you got like that's like that's funny tim that you did that for your comedy podcast but also you're a guy who got someone's creepy uncle to rip a dvd and then you spent time reassembling this porn on a you did all those things i did i did those things um also the things i did please don't fit this is a comedy podcast this is a porn podcast get your facts

right before you come at us if this is a sincere porn podcast that makes Tim's actions the actions of an aficionado a connoisseur which is possibly better than a man just doing those things not everything that we want to watch is available on titplay.com

as you say although I've got to tell you, it's a very astute observation because this informs something about these 13, 14-year-old New Zealanders watching these in crowded rumpus rooms and lounges after midnight trying not to wake up the parents.

It is so heavily tit- This drove an idea into a teenage boy's brain that all of the pleasure that a woman can derive is accessed via the breasts. It is, like, so tit-heavy, this porn. And I get it, because that's the part of the body you can show. But it's just, like, it embeds such a ludicrous idea about sex in your brain.

Guys, can you hear my dog barking fucking heaps right now hopefully okay so i'm just gonna check on him i don't know what his fucking problem is okay while naomi's gone i'm just gonna talk about her dog's dick for a second um naomi's dog i think is spayed but still gets boners huh oh a little meaningless boners yeah Oh, that sounds like a poetry collection. But yeah, so he's got his like little shiny lipstick dog dick out all the time. And he's a small dog and the dick's really big. Uh-huh. One time Naomi.

Hang on, I'm just talking about Tazo's dick. No, I've got to stop because everyone's always like, all you talk about is your dog's dick and it keeps coming up. It's really big. We haven't heard about it yet. It's really big. So one time his dick was out and then it got stuck going back. Oh. I know.

Naomi, how did you deal with it? I just had to. Why are you doing this? Because it sounds like a fun story. I was brave enough. I had to pull the outer skin back so that it could, because it was sort of folded in on itself, and I had to pull it back so that it could slide shut.

And I did that for my son. Oh, dude. Anyway, can we get back? A beautiful maternal moment. Can we get back to the porn, please? No, there really is a beautiful maternal moment. You know, like, as a dog owner of a male dog i can appreciate that that is a real kindness you've given your animal it's really sweet thank you because most people are just like

oh you jacked off your dog and it hurts my feelings well of course you also did jack off your dog and let let us not gloss over that but what tim is saying is it's very kind of you to jack off your dog yeah thank you thank you for that um so we we all watched this independent of one another some vital context i think for naomi and hum and also for our listeners tim observed this to me sort of 10 or 15 minutes into his watch this is part of the emmanuel 2000 series is like a seven made for tv sort of canon part of the the broader emmanuel franchise and we've already watched four or five of these emmanuel 2000 films and in these films emmanuel has already been armed with this sort of heart necklace and this plastic heart-shaped tiara which gives her these sort of incredible technological and mystical powers to access other people's thoughts and sexuality

i can't tell you how much i enjoyed this movie for laying out as clearly as they possibly could the rules and world of the universe folks we have been dealing with the results of the of the world building without the world building having happened yet. So we have just been... Oh, so this was like a prequel. This was fucking amazing. This was my favourite movie. This was honestly the best movie I've seen all year

because for the last few episodes we've been grabbing around trying to figure out exactly what the rules are with the shitty jewellery, how it enables... And who the fuck is Philipilip and maggie like what are these two people doing yeah by the pool the whole time video conferences and while emmanuel emmanuel was out fucking people we were like why are these two people at their beautiful beach house

constantly checking in on her progress wait did you watch them in order is this a prequel or is this the first one that kicks off the whole thing and we didn't know so we've watched them out of order it would be like reading chapter four of a book then chapter three of a book then chapter five a book then chapter one of a book and calling chapter one a prequel instead of chapter one so naomi did like did you get the story because i feel like we've kind of been ingratiated with they just had so much exposition of this but it made sense to me because i've seen so many of these other films yeah no it made sense then explain to me what happened

explain to you yeah okay so there is a couple The woman is in a wheelchair due to a car accident. She is a doctor. She has access or has invented this technology that allows you to enter someone's brain to either observe, manipulate, or control. She likes to send her husband off to to fuck women and then she enters the mind of the woman as an observer or if she can't control herself then she controls the body and she jumps in there um and then what happens is um she can't get back to her own body i'm trying to

remember why anyway can i take over because i remember that bit quite well the first woman that she jumps into she doesn't know that she can do um control she thinks she can just do observe i'm pretty sure so she jumps in to have sex with her husband which is really weird because the body that she's meant to be controlling is feeling sexual pleasure but the body in the chair that she's meant to be controlling is feeling sexual pleasure, but the body in the chair that she's meant to be in is also, like, rubbing its tits and shit. So it's like, okay, so if your body that's in the chair can feel sexual pleasure,

why don't you just have sex with your husband? I need to be doing a Spanish flamenco dance while... The fucking dancing was so, so odd her it's all signals that go towards your brain the signals are in her brain signals are coming from the other woman's clit yeah but her clit still works because she's touching her clit in the chair she is touching her clit in the chair because you're totally right because i fully thought this was actually quite ingenious and that she had lost all like pelvic control and feeling below whatever belly button or something, which would be a very neat explanation for a why she's in a wheelchair and be why she has to the guy is just so against the idea of having sex with his wife. Now that she's in a wheelchair,

they have to wholesale invent a new technology? Well, you know what they say. Something or other breeds innovation. Your wife being in a wheelchair, I guess. Drunk driving breeds innovation. Yeah. Anyway, so then they both come and then when they come to they've swapped bodies yeah doctor see she's brunette because she's smart and and for those of you playing along at home the the woman that they brought into this sort of fucked up tryst is emmanuel and do you think she's into it

because i'll tell you something she is fucking into it without blinking without asking a question she's like what's this up in someone else's body and she's like i should be able to work this control how the fuck would you know that it was the start of a horror movie premise. It was so terrifying because she's trapped in this other person's mind and she can kind of like see through her eyes, but she has no knowledge that she has the ability to manipulate anything. She's just this trapped loser. And maybe she can't die. You know what I mean?

Maybe you live forever entombed in someone else's mind. When that bit of the movie started playing out i was like this is legitimately a fucking terrifying concept to have in a film well it would be terrifying if emmanuel wasn't so horny but she's got other things on her mind my god immediately she uses these new powers to make two burglars in the doctor's house fuck i just i'd quickly like to talk about the burglars because uh the male burglars in the doctor's house fuck i just i'd quickly like to talk about the burglars because uh the male burglar is one of my favorite characters in the entire manuel franchise so far as soon as he was on screen i was like uh it's representation matters

and it was nice to see myself in the year 2000 represented on camera. He had dirty dogs on, a silver necklace, and he could not act. He could barely speak in full sentences. And his first line was, as much more intelligent and beautiful cohort was saying, we're going to break into that woman's house, the woman in the wheelchair, when her husband leaves, we're going to break in and we're going to steal her shit. It's going to be as easy as stealing candy from a baby. And my hero said, I'm not doing this job for candy.

And I was like, yes. And then he just continued to deliver time and time again. Yeah, they were a really great comedic duo. There was so much comedy in this movie. So when Emmanuel and the husband first meet, they do, as has been advertised, this insane coordinated dance that everyone in the bar just stops to watch

and turns, like, instead of laughing at one another for how funny they are, they're both like, holy shit. That was like a new genre of dance that Emmanuel did. It was wild. It's like the only thing that she likes, like second to fucking her favourite thing to do is dance, clearly.

And it was like, kind of like a it was like robot-ish. It was like robot flamenco. Yeah. Robot flamenco mixed with that Maddie Ziegler and all her Sia film clips. I just like that they had a dance scene as like an appetizer for a sex scene

in the opening stanza of the film and then immediately afterwards they introduced another dance scene as a precursor to a sex scene. Like 10 minutes later, like they couldn't help themselves. And a different genre as well. The female burglar doing kind of like

a jazz contemporary dance. And listen, I'm no dance expert, but I thought it was pretty good. Both Emmanuel and then Emmanuel in this other woman's body. A lot of just like flopping her torso over. So she was just sort of hanging her head between her legs. That was kind of her signature move. Wait, are you talking about in the dance? What bit are you talking about?

When she enters the mind of the burglar and then makes her do all that she makes her do a dance oh yes yes yes yeah the jazz dance the jazz dance is great I actually thought that was pretty good because the male burglar who was under no kind of spell witchcraft technology or anything just rolls

with it and he has two torches and just spotlights here like i really i admired the idiocy they imbued that character with like you're in the middle of a robbery something is clearly going on with the person you're robbing with but this fucking guy who all he thinks about is how he's not in the job for candy but he really wants ice cream and dessert as soon as his robbing partner starts trying to fuck him he's like okay okay well we're obviously gonna have to fuck in the house we're robbing the bit that we know the woman is asleep in right now but sure let's rock out the bit when he said all this talk of dessert can we go get ice cream after it was one of those moments for me where i was like man i hope i don't see this guy

have sex now because it's like seeing a child have sex with a woman you know it's like i saw i saw a tweet about this that um sleeping with a himbo um is actually really problematic because they're not um able to they're not on the same level mentally as you and it's abuse. 100%. You're dealing with the mind of a child and sex can be a powerful and complicated thing. I mean, when he truly succumbed as well. They were in the middle, by the way,

of stealing a Ming vase, which this woman had sitting on a shelf in her house. I also thought that was very funny. I was like, why is the concept of a ming vase so widespread that you can put it in a porno and it makes sense this is a very specific dynastic art movement i just thought it was i was like i'm kind of out of the porn you know i don't know what a ming vase is but again i am the stem yeah person um of the yeah i also don't know what a mingvast is but i guess that's just the science

heads over here we were still getting our head around the the wet tubes but basically emmanuel who has embraced life in a wheelchair and the fact that she now embodies a different person's you know physical being because now she's maggie now she's dr maggie hansen it's body and she's like she's immediately conquered this mind control device to make these two, like to totally disarm these two robbers into just having sex

until the original couple show up. Okay, I don't know if we've made this clear, but there is like inception levels of body control going on, right? So even I got a little bit lost in the middle of this.

So Emmanuel has jumped into Maggie's body. Yeah, they swapped. But then within that, Maggie has jumped into the... Emmanuel. Emmanuel has jumped into Maggie's body. Yeah, they swapped. But then within that, Maggie has jumped into the... Emmanuel. Emmanuel has jumped into the female robber? Yes.

Through Maggie? Yes. No, she hasn't jumped in. She's doing manipulate. Oh. Or do you think she was doing control? I think she... Well, either way, the story has got you covered

because both of those are literally printed as an option for the power. I've actually written down when they decided to describe what is happening. Astral projection mind control. Hell yeah. It's all laid out. It's better than Looper. I was going to say it's honestly better than The Matrix.

It makes more sense. It was coming out around the same time as The Matrix. Before. I think they probably borrowed some ideas. I think they did. I mean, I guess the thinking is, because it is a little bit confusing if you try to wrap your head around the entirety of,

you know, the ability for these people to get into other people's heads. And even in the movie, the characters are confused by what's happening. But you're meant to be distracted by the fucking. When the people are having sex, you're not meant to be like, hold on, who's in charge of who right now? You're meant to be like, oh, okay, today.

When Dr. Maggie and her husband, Dr. Maggie in Emmanuel's body, they come home and then they're like, you guys get out. And they're like, yeah, anything but no more fucking, please. We'll leave. We just don't want to fuck anymore. Yeah, the Roberts. Again, the guy wasn't being controlled. No.

He could just stop at any point. This is absolutely the point you're making about himbos and why we've got to tread lightly with our treatment of deeply stupid men. Exactly. Because they get trapped into situations that they're not fully aware of how to deal with. The power dynamics are. Exactly. Women are much smarter.

That's true. That's right. Yeah, but boys are stronger. But I do find that girls tend to live longer. So that's sort of like the opening stanza as you get to the end of this the robbers are carted off emmanuel and the couple are in the house and everyone's sort of like looking around like wow look at us huh on the on the we're on a fucking fresh wave of science and then emmanuel was like i love this i love this technology have you got spares? Because I'm going to Las Vegas and I would love to just fuck everything up over in Las Vegas.

I was really confused by that because she said, I'll be your international data collector. Yeah. And then she went to Las Vegas. But then explained it by saying, words to the effect of, this is like being everywhere on earth. Paris.

This is New York. New York.ork yeah the world in a nutshell i actually stayed i stayed at the new york new york hotel for a night in las vegas nevada did you do a lot of fucking so did someone take over your body not that i noticed no i took magic mushrooms and broke even it was one of the most okay nights of my life that sounds not bad did you really feel like you were in new york or did you feel like you were in the desert in navarre no it was sort of it was the novelty fact that my friend and i had driven to las vegas from new york and it was the end of a trip and we'd been living together in new york and we thought this is a this is twee this is a nice way for us to end our our journey and we stayed in New York New York that's very sweet hold on so you went to New York with someone who wasn't 10 this is knowledge uh

just coming to hand for me as well hum so thanks for sort of speechless but wanted to bring it up but kind of wanted to have an ear of being cool about it as well. But can I just take this opportunity to say, what the fuck, man? I've never been to Las Vegas. This is what an open relationship in podcasting looks like. I can travel with anyone. I can hold mics with whoever I fucking like. Guy, did you have that conversation with Tim about it being open?

Taco Bell with another woman? Yeah. You went to Taco Bell with another woman like four days ago and I conversation with Tim about it being open? Taco Bell with another woman? Yeah. No, you went to Taco Bell with another woman like four days ago and I'm still thinking about it. She's white. I told you, I have no reason to be threatened by her. Okay. Whenever I make a new friend, Hum goes, is she brown?

Okay, right, because I was going to ask for an explanation on there. Was it just out of nowhere? Yeah, I actually was hoping you wouldn't provide context. White women are a dime a dozen, baby. It's nice to be among people who are as codependent as us. Now, I've got to say something. Did this film remind anyone

of being John Malkovich? Yeah. Yes? I have sadly not seen being John Malkovich. Yeah. Yes? I have sadly not seen being John Malkovich. It has essentially the same plot. It is. I hadn't connected those dots, but you're right. Because it's talking about mind control and stuff,

and when they get into the mind control, again, all they want to do is fuck. I can't remember anything about being John Malkovich other than John Malkovich's face. It's basically just this, but replaced Emmanuel with John Malkovich. It's body swap comedy. I've just looked up Being John Malkovich, and it came out in 1999.

So you know the writer's room for Emmanuel 2000, Intimate Encounters would have been like, ah, fuck, someone's already done it. Ah, well, we just make it anyway. Different audiences. Rewatch Being John Malkovich. Yeah, well, you've basically seen it anyway. Different audiences. I'm going to re-watch Being John Malkovich. Yeah. Well, you've basically seen it now.

I think it was inspired by that, surely. Now, I do. Wait. So, okay. They can body swap, but then something else happens. In Vegas, in a bar with a piano. The piano thing. It's the funniest thing I've ever seen. There is a grand piano and the Shetist Diner.

I've never seen. The entire piano scene is like one of the greatest, is one of the greatest bits of cinema. Now this I couldn't explain. I didn't know if this was, what do they say, diegetic? I didn't know if this was actually happening or if this was like they were just like eye fucking each other because what is this you've been listening to alexi toliopoulos that's crazy thank you very much no it was it came up when people were asking me a lot of questions about glee one day um that's how i learned the word but they okay so she walks up to

this guy and then she's making eye contact with him and then all of a sudden she is lying naked on the piano, and he is playing her. And not in a sexy way. It almost, like, he's playing it like he would play keys, so it kind of looks like he's, like, lightly tickling her. It reminded me of a butcher handling a big cut of meat. I thought it would have been a good scene if it looked like the pianist had either played a piano

or touched a naked person before. It looked like someone was being explained the five senses and they were up to the part of the course which was touch. It was so shit. Just gently tickling her side as she lay nude and prone across the top of a grand piano and everyone in the bar watched on. And it was not made explicitly clear whether or not they could see

what we were seeing or they just saw a man playing the piano. And that was some sort of, like, shared sexual experience that they were having while they made eye contact. Because, like, the sensible thing is that that's a fantasy, a sexual fantasy and visual metaphor. But they both shared it specifically and explicitly right like they were both emmanuel and joshua the piano man were on board with this exact vision yeah and then afterwards they were like wow that was amazing yeah it's like what yeah what was it so is that

the bit where she wears both no that's way later right eh? Oh, no, that's in Hollywood. Don't worry. That's coming later. No, no, no. It's confusing because she takes him up to the room and fucks him. That's right. Does the mind control thing. She's like, I'm going to teach you how to please a woman.

Yes, she body swaps with him, kind of. No, she doesn't body swap. Yeah, she stopped saying body swap. She's manipulating because he's wearing the necklace and she's wearing the tiara. And he's like, what's this? And she's like, humor me. And then she, like, manipulates his mind into giving good head. That would make more sense,

except mainly what he's doing is just licking her nipples because as we ascertained, in the Emmanuel universe, sex is titties oh my god it's so funny watching him like go down like he's gonna give her a head and it reminded me of like two guys like pretending they're passing for a joke do you know what i mean like like near each other and like sort of tilting their heads and going it was like he was doing that to her vagina just like well i'm down here but he couldn't keep his head there. I just want to say about Emmanuel's body,

I think it's really interesting. The body in porn from, or soft porn or whatever, from 2000, like, Holly Sampson's body's quite normal. She's very thin. She's a very slight woman. Okay, some people are naturally thin and they can't do anything about it. Hey, I'm one of them, man. Look at these elbows.

They're fucking crazy. Hell yeah, brother. Yeah. Bony ass elbow. Naomi, this is not a chance for you to stunt that you're naturally thin. I'm just saying it's hard for us too, okay? I'm just saying it's hard for us too, okay? I'm trying to talk about how I feel like the porn body today is quite painful to look at.

Yeah. Do you guys ever look at women and you're like, does that? Yeah. It's like a weird science. There's been a focus group of 14-year-old boys who have designed a female body for porn these days and it's all very hardcore and crazy um but i know what you mean holly sampson uh is the titular emmanuel she's like she's a pretty flat chested woman um yeah she's just like a normal slim

relaxed body i found it quite relaxing to watch because now you watch porn you're like oh is he gonna like break a tit or like ruin her brazilian butt lift when he's ramming her it's just like the whole time i'm quite tense like i felt this was quite it was quite soothing to just be like oh that's a woman who you can ram her and you won't ruin i also had a lovely casual wank i thought did you really no i know i no no i know what you're saying though. It is like, also the guys, in some of the movies the guys are tremendously jacked. But in this one it felt like all of the dudes were just like, that guy kind of looked like a pianist

who went to the gym every other day. And you're like, oh yeah, okay, I'll watch him do his vision of sex, no worries. I mean, the good news for both of you is that we have done away with those types of people being depicted in porn, those normal, everyday, relatable bodies. We fucking got rid of them. We nixed them.

Not over here on chipplay.com. She's very pretty, which I would say for most people in porn, I do not find particularly attractive at all. But I actually thought she was Holly Sampson. Is that her name? Very beautiful woman. She's like, for the role, she's a good actor. She's a good fit. attractive at all but i actually thought she was holly sampson is that her name very beautiful she's a good she's like for the role she's a good actor she's a good fit was great yeah there's a lot of crazy shit she's gonna do and you're like i'm gonna follow you here

i believe that this is happening it's fucking cool wait you know what it is fucking cool we've got this mind control technology. A woman in a wheelchair who's like reverse cucking with her husband. We've got international travel that is contained within national borders. We've got kind of threesomes, but like metaphysical threesomes. There's just so many concepts being thrown into it. Flamenco dancing where your hands have to be above your head at all times. Robbers stealing mink vases.

A grand piano in a shit diner. It had a great sense of escalation as well because she's mastering the technology and also the number of people she's bringing into her sexual experience is growing the whole time. Logically, this was such a sound film, which I think is what made it so enjoyable because it was like, I can follow the rhythm of this all the way to the end and the end gets

fucking crazy we'll get to that your brain has turned to mush because I completely agree with what you're saying but hearing it out loud you describing the movie in such emphatically

positive terms it's like this guy's lost his fucking mind Tim I wrote down like in a desperate all caps scroll

better than grown-ups too. Better than Sex and the City too. Better than We Are Your Friends. Better than Sex and the City. Almost worth closer inspection. Oh, boy. Oh, no. Not 52 inspections, George.

But it is. I enjoyed it as well. I was watching some of it in the backseat of my friend's car as we were coming home from a day of shopping, which was embarrassing when it connected to the car's bluetooth but um and we did get that on video but uh i it from there because the world does open up i think the way that the story develops is quite well paced because she fucks, she gets the piano guy after the piano. Joshua, please call him by his name. Joshua, sorry.

Goes up, fucks him, you know, helps him fuck her. But then she, the crown thing falls off her head. And so she's unconscious. She's in his head, but he doesn't know. And then he goes back down and she's like i can't communicate with this guy but she realized she can communicate with other people which is such a weird mechanic to introduce to this whole thing like we needed one more ball in the ear and instead of saying oh hey i'm trapped inside this guy's head can you tell him to go upstairs and put this

crown back on my head she goes i'm gonna make all the women in this room come but before she does before she does that which is also by the way a huge act of uh feminism and this is probably one of the foremost feminist texts alongside home alone 3 uh i'd like to say that mr bernstein who is the pianist's boss who becomes furious the pianist is late and he's like what you do on your own time that's your business but what you do on my time that's coming out of your pay and then Emmanuel and then he's like I saw you running over that

vamp or that whore or something and Emmanuel's like oh really? Tart. And then punks him in such a funny way like that guy was a really good actor it was like he walked off a genuine comedy movie set and onto this film because his performance of like sort of telling people how it is and being a bot like a pretty traditional boss guy while disrobing and like just the basic comedy beat of him doing that while being like if anything inappropriate happens around here i want you to

tell me see and he's like dropping his dags that was really funny that was a comedy high point of a movie that had conservatively three or four really solid comedy beats in it oh yeah it was a high watermark because she so she like psychically because she can do this thing where as naomi said you can like control people outside of the brain that you're inhibiting currently. So she took over his brain, and he, immediately after giving a speech about the appropriateness that needs to be maintained in the workplace, proceeds to then go around looking after customers and approaches a couple at a table and is like,

hey, do you guys want anything? Can I get you any sausage while he's taking his pants off? And he just plays it so perfectly. It was good. It was so satisfying to see some good jokes actually come off in this. God, it was good. And then the woman who came over to the piano,

who Emmanuel could talk to, the redhead, she was so hot. She was so hot. She was crazy hot. Right? It was nuts. Yeah She was so hot. She was crazy hot. Right? It was nuts. Yeah, that was insane. This is a fucking,

who's that other redhead who's hot? Like Olivia Wilde, Amy Adams. I was just like, this is like an Oscar level hot actress. I feel like she was from the TV show Popular or something. I was like, what's this actor who's an actor doing here? Right?

Yeah. She was like classically beautiful. Well,'s an actor doing here? Right? Yeah. She's like classically beautiful. Well, you guys know that Dr. Maggie Hansen, the wheelchair-bound inventor of this technology, she is in like Star Trek, the TV series. Yeah, she's like, she has a career. Wow. Is that after or before the porn?

After, I think. Wow, I love that. Did they fix her eyebrows? I hate her eyebrows in this it was 2000 they were of the time the eyebrows sell it the eyebrows were great yeah so sorry basically we hold because this bit's kind of fucked up so piano man and emmanuel fuck but then we get this other piano man's colleague introduced, and this is a bad guy. This is not a guy you want around. This was when the movie was, I was like, oh, guys,

we've had so much fun. Please don't throw it all away. Exactly. Exactly. So he was like, oh, you've had sex with a beautiful woman. What room is she in? Which you're like, well, this is terrible. But then Emmanuel manipulates the situation into a way where she's like, well, this is cool because this guy's a fucking idiot who's DTF

and I can make him put my headband back on so I can reenter my body. So it's pretty definitely dealt with eventually, but very scary in the moment. And I actually thought that, because you're right at the beginning, you're like, why is this happening? There's this whole other ball.

Do we need this? All these people are taking their clothes off at the bar but then when he does come back and she makes him put the headband back on you do it is it's a good like relief point yeah and it justifies this wild mechanic that didn't need to be there and then two different uh two different couples have sex simultaneously and we leave Las Vegas. She fucks the guy who showed up in her room and the pianist fucks the bartender who's absolutely itching for his dick.

Her hair, I had that same hair, the crimped hair. You had that hair? My grade four school picture. I had that hair, the crimp. If you can provide me with a photo of that, it will be the image of this episode of the podcast. Okay, all right. I'll ask my mum.

It looked like so much work, that hair. It was like every strand was individually crimped. Okay, so this was probably my very favorite moment of the movie because she was so keen to have sex with Joshua and he was exhausted from having sex with Emmanuel. So he suggested they play strip pool instead. So then they do and they get fully naked and it gets to the point where she takes her panties off

and we cut the scene on her taking her panties off and him saying hoo-ha that was so awesome josh is a hero when she takes off her bra he goes that's a great bra mind if i wear it later or something yeah yeah he's saying all kinds of great and it was improv'd you you could hear that those lines that were happening right there. They just rolled for a while and they were riffing. She was just putting the bra on and off, waiting for the funniest riff from this guy.

That was the best. It was an exhausting scene to shoot. But in addition to being convinced that all pleasure that women derive was through their breasts, I used to also always end a sexual occasion by saying, hoo-ha! And I cannot tell you how misleading these films are. These are not a roadmap to a healthy sex life for a teenage boy.

Got it. So you're saying that when Zoe and I finally have sex, this should not be the approach? It's your call, man. I would love to find out. Why don't we make a pact here and now on the podcast?

The next time that any of us have sex, we say hoo-ha. You've got to biff a hoo-ha in there. No, because I'm already... I can't say that. I'm already in trouble for repeatedly doing a bit in bed, so I can't do it. Well, it doesn't sound like he doesn't like jokes.

It sounds like he's maybe just sick of that bit. Yeah, yeah. You know. Yeah, I'm a bit hack sometimes. That's my thing. You've got to try some other lines when it happens. Hoo-ha. Hoo-ha.

This movie follows the same structure that the, what are, you know, this prequel follows the same structure that, funnily enough, the movies that were made before it used, which is like it is essentially three films or three stories condensed into one feature. And this is probably where you will be learning about the movie in real time because you have a third of a movie where we're figuring out the rules of the world and the technology.

You've got a third of the movie in the world, aka Las Vegas. And then we're going to Hollywood, California. And this is where shit gets fucking wild. I can't believe I couldn't see the whole thing of this on techplay.com.au. Before we get into that, though, could you have a guess at what happens in the concluding third act? Okay. I got to the beginning, and then it cut, and I was like, oh, that must have been a weird additional file.

So I saw the Halloween bit, and that she makes her hot friend wear the necklace, and that she wants to be her hot friend. Well, tell us about that. What's the Halloween bit? No one has seen this movie. They're going to have a Halloween party, and she's going gonna go in the ultimate costume which is someone else's body um which is something a serial killer says yeah jane gum and emmanuel have this in common um so then yeah and she made her hot friend whose body she wants to wear wear the necklace and they're going to a party there's like three couples there,

so I figure it'll be an orgy, and then unfortunately I couldn't see the rest. So what are you going to guess? I think there's going to be a pretty sick mind control orgy happening at this Halloween party. No. That would be better. That would actually be better than what happened.

I'm actually trying to remember what happened. Oh, no, I just remembered what happened. I can tell you what happens but I also want to before you finish your guess I want to introduce a very important part of the setup which is that on the way to the party

the beautiful friend who's wearing the necklace stops in at an adult shop like a sex shop and she starts browsing She's a supermodel by the way She's Emmanuel's very shy supermodel friend an adult shop, like a sex shop. And she starts browsing. She's a supermodel, by the way. She's Emmanuel's very shy supermodel friend.

Yeah. That's how people describe me. We get it, you're a man. Really cool guy working at the sex shop who's wearing a t-shirt that says wrestling is fake. Yeah. I love this guy i love that guy too but somewhere along the line one of emmanuel's friends at the party a guy called doug who emmanuel was hoping to have sex with or maybe have sex with through her supermodel

friend he sees her headband and puts it on and all of a sudden he's looking at the world through the supermodel's eyes and she's in the sex shop and he's like, we're going to have a lot of fun. We're going to have a lot of laughs. We're going to make a lot of memories. And yeah, so she starts rifling through the aisles and like sort of, well, essentially she's looking at a mirror and he's looking at her in a mirror through her eyes

and he's him and he's like, God damn. And just starts jerking it essentially he grabs a bunch of sex toys because he's in a sex shop already and then goes to the changing room no it's better than that because the guy who's in the wrestling is fake t-shirt says

hey you wanna try you wanna try on clothes as a changing room or whatever and it's obvious she's not yeah it's so clear she's not. Yeah. It's so clear. She's not interested in trying on clothes and just like, okay. So it's grabbing shit. And then gestures for him across the counter to pass it.

This like unopened, like dick plug that you put on like a, a suction surface so that you can fight like a mirror or a wall or whatever you want. And he's like, okay. Massive. One of the last things I would do.

And that guy's situation like that woman is clearly going to compromise the goods you say buy it and leave lady it's also like i thought it was kind of awesome that in the year 2000 in this very mainstream softcore pornography this is still a guy's brain and he's inside of a woman's body but the go-to for the plot the first thing he does is grab a dildo to experience penetrative sex through a vagina

I was like, okay, cool it's not to fondle his breasts which every other character has done well he does that first and also actually to his detriment Tim, he also that first. He does that a little bit. He does that a little bit first. And also, actually, to his detriment, Tim, he also takes the dildo into the training room and then Duck has her titty-fucking herself with the dildo. And you're like, having sex,

I've never understood the concept behind this. I just don't understand who it's for. But to do it as a third party with a dildo, I was like, well, this is beyond the pale, Doug. He was trying to put himself in her shoes and be like,

you know, when I request this, I wonder what it's like for them. I want to feel like hard, sticky, brand new, unwashed latex gripping against

the middle of my chest. So these rather small tits as well. Might as well rub the dildo against a wall. So there's a mirror in the change room, right? Like that's what he's watching. Yeah. Yeah, and then puts whipped cream and oil all over like the boobs and then the nose.

And the whipped cream stays on the tip of her nose for so long. And I don't understand why. So long that she's able to go back to the clerk who's at the desk and announces while she has derobed, normally I'm a very shy, timid little girl, but I started something in there and I just have to finish, preferably with a man. Yeah, but that's after the guy gets the,

because while this is happening, right, the guy, Doug, in the party, he's looking in the mirror. Emmanuel comes up behind him, puts a necklace on so she can see what's happening. She starts to get horny as well. Everyone's horny, but she's like, you know what? We shouldn't be here. And he's like, well, I'm just about to come.

And she's like, no, even though she enjoyed it for quite a while before she's like, this shouldn't be here. And he's like, well, I'm just about to come. And she's like, no. Even though she enjoyed it for quite a while before she... Yeah, yeah. Like, this is unethical. That's the moral line. So make them leave so that it's just her. And that's when she runs out and she's like, I need to fuck someone right now.

And then she says to the guy, let me put it another way, are you gay? In a real Hall of fame line of dialogue from this film. Turns out wrestling is fake dude is not gay, which is great news for a shy supermodel. That's so

funny. But then shit like, from there, shit gets even more out of hand. So they have sex Which is where I see the labia, by the way. Oh, get into this. No, so, well, no, no, no, because I doubt the dick is even out, right?

But the labia has to be out. It's doing the opposite of what Naomi's dog's dick's doing. It's staying well in the house. Well, first of all, the way they simulate sex, it's very obvious that they're not actually having sex to me. It's not the illusion. Yeah, there was one scene earlier where one of the... I think it was Emmanuelle was fucking,

and she was basically... She was meant to be riding the dude, but it looked like she was just sitting on his chest. Yeah. Yeah, I would say this supermodel girl, I think, is the best one at faking that they're actually having sex I think if I just saw this scene alone I could convince myself that they were actually having penetrative sex but there's one shot and it's um the the wrestling is fake guys on his back and it's just near the end of that scene and you can see her vagina, but there is something on slash in it.

And I was trying to figure out what it was. It's white, and it's obviously not, like, the highest definition, but to me it looked like it was something that was clamping her inner labia shut. Wow. And I was trying to, I was looking up soft porn equipment. Nothing came up. I was trying to figure out how they would. I wish you the best of luck for your future targeted ads on Google.

That's really cool. Cool thing to do to your algorithm. Obviously, they wouldn't just have their genitals slapping each other. They have something securing them that I could see it. I feel like it would take you to an arts and crafts store where you'd have a variety of tapes and text. But it looked plastic. I feel like the safest thing to do in that situation

would be just make something that looked like a boat and there was like a mast and you just put the mast in you and secure the thing that was meant to be keeping your bits covered with the vagina itself. What about just tan underwear? So you have to penetrate yourself. How about this practical arts brain over here

designing modesty for softcore pornographic shit? Freaking pussy engineering over here, guys, all right? Well, they have that for sex scenes in movies. They have, like, a sort of cup thing that goes over. But obviously in this you can see, like, a lot more. You can see basically everything except inside the labia majora to use scientific terms stem brain wearing a song no this was on screen for about a third of one second everything that Naomi is describing yes well I saw it I was like

what the fuck is that she's got hyper focus for vaginas yeah yeah yeah i have adhd it's not my fault but i don't know what it was and i would love for you guys to find out i feel like you know someone you would have more resources outside of our jurisdiction i mean if you couldn't find it okay yeah because I couldn't find anything. And I really want to know what it was. What was the device? I don't think we'll ever know. I think this is one of those things that existed for 2000s softcore pornography. And now we've just, some guy was like,

why don't we use tan colored underwear instead? And everyone was like, oh yeah, we're over-engineering a solution. Are they still making softcore pornography or is it everything? They can't. That's what I was going to ask. Do you think there's a market for it in this day and age?

Well, I don't know. Guy, what do you think? Well, I actually feel like it's a pretty good time to welcome a special guest who softs by every episode. If we're going to be asking about the value of softcore pornography, there's only one person who can really address that question and uh some people know he's called the boner inspector boner inspector but in the instance of our guests pussy patrol pussy patrol tim i'll ask you first was there a there a murmur from your genitalia?

Hello, Boner Inspector. It's so nice to see you again. Hello, Tim. How are you doing? Well, I'm on the lookout for arousal, as always. Desperately hoping that someone's been turned on by one of these films. Yeah. I tell you what, Boner Inspector,

of all the emmanuel films that i have seen i think this one probably got me the closest to a boner and i would say there was there was a very light stirring but no like physical uh tell what moment i don't even remember but there was like to this movie's credit bon Inspector, there was actually a lot of sex in it. And I think a softcore pornography advertises there's going to be some sex in it. But often with these movies, one departs feeling shortchanged. There's just a very shitty story conducted by a people who can't. I know the feeling well.

I've spoken to you nigh on 27 times now. Yes. And you're telling me you can't even remember the moment that brought you closest to an erection? Yeah, I can't. I can't even remember what characters it involved. But the long and short of it is I did not get a boner. I'm so sorry to report.

Pussy patrol! Pussy patrol! Is this guy's business in bed? Was there a rumbling in your tumbling? No one would allow sex to continue if you screamed Pussy Patrol at the bitch. The idea that Guy does this in public and then someone lets him fuck is so funny. And then someone lets him fuck is so funny. Ah! All right, I'll respond first, I guess.

Naomi, you ponder your question for some time. I would say no stirrings, but I thought a very satisfying story, some interesting cinematography. That's not the question. Okay, well, apologies. Thank you, Naomi. I apologize to the court.

And that is the extent of my testimony today. Well, she only watched the first two thirds and on two times speech, so we can't fault her for that. The extremely slightest stirring in the scene with the super model only because i thought you did a good job of actually making it look like sex because even when i've watched porn in the past if it looks fake to me or the girls like it's like very obviously faking it i'm just like it does nothing to me so a lot of this was insane the way that they just sort of writhe around.

It reminds me of like sex scenes from like Bad, like The Room where it's like, they're just rolling around. Like they're not even fucking for a lot of it. They're just, oh, she's moaning and he's like rubbing her shin. That doesn't make you moan. That's sex, Naomi. What have I been doing?

Well, my quest for arousal must continue. I'll volunteer my information to the boner inspector, which is that I didn't get a boner, but the last scene, which we haven't actually spoken about yet, when everyone at this party was overwhelmed with arousal. Oh, can you just explain why? Because this was a cool story. Because Emmanuelle, she was wearing the headband

and the necklace simultaneously. I just realized what I said. This was a cool story. But hey, this was actually a pretty awesome bit of plot in Emmanuelle 2000 Intimate Encounters. Get a load of this. Basically, Emmanuelle overloads her body and the capacity of this sort of sex jewellery.

And she's at this party and she's like channeling the arousal of everyone around her. And then she goes, she looks scared. And her friend's like, what? And she's like, oh my God, they're all so horny. She's reading everyone's mind. Like she's worried for them. And in a great cinematic turn,

they take the liberty to go in like first person perspective. I think it's this bit of the movie. And suddenly we're like seeing through her eyes and it's just this terrifying, we get the inner monologue of everyone, including this raver from Britain. My God, would sell his soul for a fuck that night he's so desperate of vagabonds and misfits who are trying to fuck and she hears a little segment of dialogue from

all of them she walks through and she like and then she has to leave the room with doug she's like i need to fuck and they start having sex and they're like oh yeah he's like why don't you just take it off and she's like no because then all their horniness will stay trapped in me yeah which is terrifying it's very scary ghosts of horse and but then so like she her and doug go to this room and they start having sex he's like is this helping she's like it's making it worse and then we cut to not we're not just at the party now. We're in the world. We're in all these different rooms and all these different places.

And she is like, harnessing the sexual energy of every person. No, no, no. Wait, what's happening is, because I think this is, again, very good writing, because she's like, I have to, I have to.

And he's like, come. And she's like, download to the, she picks up her little compact, download to the. She picks up her little compact. Download to the. Send the data to the doctor. Yeah. But she's not sent. She didn't send a link just to the doctor.

It's an open signal. So it's going out. That's right. Across the world. So she's projecting this horniness over the entire world. And that was the. That was the. Yeah.

And that was the bit where I didn't get a boner, but I almost got a boner. Oh, well, fuck you then. See you later, dude. I feel like asking someone if they got a boner during this movie is like asking someone if they got a boner during Austin Powers. Like, it's just all these massive ludicrous swings. One of my favorite bits of the movie was when she was, like,

logging in as Emmanuel 2000. I was like, to log in to have sex is so cool. In the 2000s? Like, going on MSN was so cool. Now, being on Facebook Messenger is lame as hell, but logging in in the 2000s? You know? She was basically a hacker. Very cool.

It's because it was a special occasion. Hold on, guys. Can you shut the fuck up for a second? Hum was saying something Tim, we've all interrupted Guy so much this podcast White men can't Tim is an ally, please Hum, go ahead Just Tim beating you up

and looking back at us for approval I just wanted to say Naomi, we're working on a few pitches together back at us for approval. No, I just want to say, I think, Naomi, we're working on a few pitches together, but I think we should pitch a soft porn. I think I'd like to make one. Well, this is very fortuitous because we have someone who is deeply thirsty to hear some pitches for softcore pornography.

Let me just get the door and invite him in. George, let me take your hat and coat. How are you? Very well. invite him in george let me take your hat and coat how are you very well i remain in constant agony as this this undefeatable boner haunts me i'm george lazenby yes i might just try of australia i'll just take it the greatest oh yes please if i can explain can explain to our guests who you are and your illustrious credit. So Naomi, this is George Lazenby, one-time James Bond actor. And he, subsequent to his tragically short-lived Bond career, has inherited a throbbing boner, which he hides up his buttoned-up shirt,

sort of where you would follow the track of a tie but going upwards towards his neck which he has been unable to get relief from and he travels the world seeking pictures for potential pornographic movies that he might

find one arousing enough to bring him to climax So whoever would like to go first, if you would like to maybe pitch a potential He might find one arousing enough to bring him to climax. To my specification. So whoever would like to go first, if you would like to maybe pitch a potential porno film to George. George, I'm so sorry. If you're comfortable, I understand you're writing partners. Could you perhaps work in tandem? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think we should. We do our best work together, I would say. We do, yeah. I am so sorry for your condition, George. Yeah, that's really sad. Not as sorry as I am. Well, immediately I think sci-fi. Yeah, definitely sci-fi.

Obviously. Obviously from like a more, I think the two, I think the millennium, the turn of the millennium was a lot more hopeful than what we see as the possibilities for technology today. So I think we would be looking at a Black Mirror-esque world, a bit of Charlie Brooker, you know? Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. What do you think, Norm? I'm trying to think of how the technology... Obviously there's technology. Obviously. Because that is the one thing that has pulled me in. Thinking... Maybe... I just would quickly like to say

i know that you're both thinking but i cannot communicate the agony this erection puts me in constantly the more you brainstorm the more i suffer i think it'd be nice to see the characters i think it'd be nice if in this world, this, you know, terrifying near future, almost all sex is mediated by technology. So I'd like to see our characters, our protagonists, kind of break away from that and, like, really raw dog it. Forbidden fruit. Yes, yes.

So maybe we exist in a world where you know the cops and all their consent apps that won't work they've actually you when you fuck it goes into a spreadsheet they're in new zealand naomi they haven't heard about the consent app well they well good on them that's lovely for you and you should stay that way okay so when you have sex you know there's a chip i'm very worried about it into a spreadsheet in a bad place um move on move on it's logged it into a spreadsheet there's data on who everyone has fucked you know there's there's all that kind of thing and they find a way to get rid of these chips yeah that's sick and the condoms as well the condoms are also like every time you open the condom packet a signal is sent back to the durex company so and our heroes are trying to

have sex off the grid yes yeah what motivates them obviously we would obviously something would motivate them to want to fuck off the grid and it's because they're um i think fond of olden times yeah i think nostalgia emmanuel 2000 yeah they found some like old school porn and they're like what is this what they're just fucking like the police commissioner doesn't know anything about it that's crazy and like the hottest fantasy is that you can fuck without the police commissioner knowing well i gotta tell you ladies so worried because i can tell that this is based on news stories that are real unfolding that i have no concept of right now in australia and it's just made me so fucking worried i'm so sorry i'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Can I say? There's a lot of sexual assault here.

Told you not to bring up sexual assault on the podcast. The pitch is interesting, but I found it mostly deeply upsetting. So I'm just going to take my meters long erection and talk to someone else now. Goodbye. Bye, George. I'm so sorry. George, before you go, just one question, George. Have you, a la Tom Walker, sucked your own dick?

I've sort of licked around the top. And he didn't try more than that. I felt weird. Maybe take out the bit about Tom Walker. Is that defaming? Have you guys done that bit on this podcast? Oh, he sucked his own dick.

Everyone knows. Everyone knows. They can't get you for defamation of everyone knows. Tom, I love you. Would that hold up in a court of law? It was my understanding that everyone knows. I didn't know I was defaming someone um can i say this apropos of nothing the music in this movie absolutely fucking slapped oh my god i had the theme song in my head all freaking day the watching me watching you oh watching you watching me yeah like what you see sex

that was catchy that was pretty good the rep but that wasn't in the vein of the rest the rest of it was this like acid house early 2000s like phil collins remixes and there was The song where she's fucking the piano guy the first time? Yeah. There was, I think it was when the supermodel is having sex. There was a song that played and I like, I was like, I know this fucking sample. And I looked it up and luckily my brain could actually connect it. It's to a specific daft punk song that's on Random Access Memories. And I was like, they're using the same fucking sample yeah

the guy who did the music for this movie is a guy called mark uh siron and he's a french like disco producer and he rules and i don't know why he was working on this project but there's a lot of bangs yeah the money baby yeah they're crazy over there um i was it was there a um choreographer because that is who i'm the biggest fan of 100 that jazz sequence didn't happen by itself that was professional and she was obviously like a trained jazz dancer as well my i would actually hearing all of this back and think about the film this would be the first time this season I'd say, if you're listening along and you're wanting to watch one of the films, this would be the one. It's so hard to find.

If you can. I think the level might be like, I don't know if I can distribute it. Sorry, hun. No, Tim, we've mentioned multiple times that it is available legally, I think you'll find. Yeah, on tipplay.com. But if you want to watch the last half But if you want to watch the last half, if you want to watch the last half hour,

you've got to track it down from Tim. I'm writing down this URL to see if I can buy it after the podcast so I can just like send that domain name to this specific episode. I've got to say, this has been such an enjoyable reflection and conversation on what was honestly such an enjoyable film.

Tim, would you like to rank it? I know you like to rank movies. Number one, and not just of Emmanuel, of films. This is it. I've been accused of cinematic blasphemy in the past by calling I think it was Grown Ups 2 Sex and the City 2.

You called Sex and the City 2 the Citizen Kane of our time. Yes. In retrospect, that was foolhardy. But this movie genuinely has it all. Great music. A lot of sex. Some people can act in it. A convoluted sci-fi um funny really great comedy it's it's good to go that's my assessment great arc well if you'd like to to give this movie

a score you can create your own system if you like oh i give it 10 10 tits out of 10 I'll give it 5 5 bonus and 10 tits human appendages and I would also give it the maximum number out of whatever the number system I created for it was now I'm probing bro

part of the reason why Hum and Naomi have graced our little podcast with their presence this particular week is because their show has just come out on Netflix, like internationally. Can everyone? Yeah, everywhere except Australia. Because, because. Because.

If you're in Australia, you've got to watch it on ABC iView. You've got to. It's the law. The name of the show is why you like this and uh i haven't watched it yet because we're recording this before it's come out so i haven't had a chance to yet but the trailer fucking rules and i'm very excited to devour the entire thing so thank you why are you like this is on netflix do you want to say anything people have really liked it so far, except some conservatives

and old men who write newspapers. They do love getting old men to write the newspapers. They do not like our gross out humor where we talk about having a period. They thought that was yucky. This is a porno podcast, but it's not a gross

out podcast. None of that unnecessary stuff. Like periods. And women. But I think we've gotten 10 out of 10 from everyone who gets a period. So, you know, that's... And I speak for all women when I say that. That fucking rules.

If you're in New Zealand, I lived in New Zealand for four years and every day I regret that I'm not still there on account of the police commissioner tracking when we fuck here. So if we could go viral in New Zealand, that would honestly make me the happiest I've ever been. Yeah, you're better than us. You just want a thing.

We're on a mission now. You simply have to watch Why You Like This. This is probably our longest episode of the season so far. So you've got your money's worth out of this one, fuckos. We'll catch you on the next exciting episode. Go and watch Why You Like This. Thank you so much for having us. What a joy. Thank you.