The Worst Idea Of All Time - 30: When A Tractor Loves A Cannon

Episode Date: August 4, 2023

The hike to Fast and the Furious (1) is long and there is mud underfoot but also hope on the horizon. Before we can even get into the meat of the movie this week, Guy has several mental tabs open that must cleared, including teenagers watching terrestrial television, the ABBA holograms and a gambling experience in Brisbane.Tim meanwhile takes a wildly inaccurate stab as to how long the boys have spent immersed in the Fast and the Furious-verse before the hard data hits him. The Batman is also campaigning for a pasta dish to win an Oscar and explains how tanks are brought into this world. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Music Music 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Hello everybody and welcome to the last watch of Furious 6, a movie we struggled to actually watch this time. Despite me paying $4.99 USD to rent in standard definition to watch today i i don't um i don't rent these movies i buy them if you go into my youtube movie library you will see fast six through nine all sitting there like cars in a garage waiting to be opened up and driven around you're the j leno of collecting fast and furious films in a sense i am yeah and in a sense i understand what it would be like to be a classic car collector or car collector in that naturally you would fall in

love with a new piece of equipment um the first time you drive it you think wow this is a good fit this feels like me or you might even drive it and think i'm not sure about this but i'm jay leno i've got infinity money i'm gonna buy it anyway why wouldn't i and then you know with each further drive you'd learn more about the car and your relationship to it because there's ludicrous chris bridges chris ludicrous bridges ludicrous bridges those chris ludicrous ludicrous chris uh he says you know you gotta you gotta form a relationship to it Bridges. No, it's Chris Ludacris, Chris Bridges. Ludacris Chris. He says, you know, you've got to form a relationship to it.

You can't just buy from the catalogue. It's a relationship you build when you build a car. So I feel now I have a sense for... Do you sound weird to you? Or is it just my headphones are fucked? I guess I can be a little bit random sometimes. Beep-boop, beep-boop. Oh, no. He's getting his own spinoff on CBS, everybody.

It's a nightly show about the struggles of being a stand-up comedy at night. The world's most random kindergarten teacher at day. And these kids are driving me crazy. Beep-blop-blop. Oh, my God. It is made for the Christian heartland Americans, the only people still watching television, like network TV. I've got to say something.

Some executives are like, there's only one demo left who aren't on these streaming services, and it is people who are terrified of seeing a midriff on a woman. Eye, ankles are banned. So we're going to commission Guy Montgomery to make a sitcom where he is a kindergarten teacher. Is there a sub-genre of Christians who like... He's God-fearing and he's kid-respecting.

Yeah. And we love that. God-fearing is an F-A-R-I-N-G. I'm sailing on God. What I'm trying to tell you is that I'm high on the power of God. And what I was trying to say before that is I look, I open up the garages, six, seven, eight, nine. I open up the four garage doors that I've got these vehicles

and these Fast and Furious franchise vehicles in. And I look at them and I think, you know, I'll keep you in there because there might be a time that either I want to drive you or I want to let someone I know drive you again. But, you know, from how I feel right now looking at you, I'm never going to fucking drive these cars. I'm never going to drive them again. It's interesting you bring up the classic cars thing

because I was like, yesterday, I was biking somewhere. Can I ask you about your troubles yesterday? Did they seem like they were quite a way away? Yeah. I don't know the rest of the words to that song. They seem so far away. Yeah, but now how does it feel? Does it feel as though they're here?

For the world's biggest ever band, pretty dog shit. Oh, fuck off. Bottom fucking low-hanging fruit lyrics in terms of rhyming and shit. Are you kidding me? No wonder they got so many albums out the gate. It's just like 1, 2, 3, 4, get on the floor. What rhymes with far away? No, no, no, no.

Today. You can't talk about us like that. It's like writing a song where it's like the cat sat on the mat wearing a hat. It's like boom, that's the Beatles baby. You can only make this much fun of it because of how like faraching the impact of such simple lyricism has been.

I don't know about that. But what I do know about... McCartney wrote it alone, by the way. Maybe you're more of a Lennon guy. Oh, that track in particular? Yeah. Well, that's probably why it's dog shit. He needed Lennon.

No! Actually, do you know what he needed? Lennon. Because that guy has too much money um so i was walking around no i was on my bike yesterday around these parts don't dox me bro and uh there was a classic car and i was like who are these dickheads with the car but it was an old like quite an old guy driving it and i was like now that's correct that feels right that feels fully right and he looked like he was having such a good time i didn't know the car was like some weird italian car and the license plate was like the same name as the make did it say mamma mia

yeah that was the name of the car it was a pepperoni mamma mia from 1971 don't you think greek culture kind of appropriated the term Mamma Mia with the ABBA movie? Oh, like it's supposed to be Italian. This is a good fucking point, man. What's up with that? I don't know. And the Swedes are kind of behind it. Yeah.

I will say this. Yeah. My sister went to the ABBA Voyager concert, the one with the holograms in London. I don't really know about this at all. Is that where any of them performing? No, it's holograms. And it's in like a... Here's me naming the members of ABBA.

Is he throwing up? Rufus is in the house. Serge. Gorman. It's those two it's a duet there's four two broads

two fellas Abigail because that's where the name comes from and Svetlana I don't know any of the names but I guarantee I'd be anything

it's not those I actually have a message I need to get to as well I've got a bit I've got a bit on the board We've got a few tabs open So your sister went to this Voyager Yeah so it's Abba performing

And this pertains to Furious 6 Well because I could either talk about Furious 6 Or this memory that's not mine Okay go on And it's in a venue That was built Specifically for this show For this like hologram show

And apparently Her only criticism was the set list Wow It's a sensation Wow It looks Wow Wow

So real Wow Is it the future do you think? I think it is I mean Does this raise questions? Do you know what people love to say now?

It raises a lot of questions. How about try answering to yourself? How about when you shut down some of that curiosity in your little mind, it doesn't need to raise any questions.

Just shut up, man. Just listen and fucking it's all good. Don't think too hard. It's not what you have to worry about. You don't have to worry about whether the future of

live entertainment is in holograms. Yeah, it's not your thing, man. What you do just look after the lawns make sure the lawns are yeah mode are you a groundskeeper you're talking about holograms yeah what do you think you have to be a groundskeeper you just have to have a lawn of your own how would you feel if like your if it was all asphalt but you could get a holo like you could buy from samsung or whatever like a little projector and it projects like a perfectly mown lawn across the asphalt fine with that to be honest yeah yeah there's like i think there's i don't think we'll do it anytime

soon because we're sort of not smart enough but you know we need to think about what what what we can do in terms of space because you just people have big houses right they don't need a big house it's just a nice feeling to have the big house but you can replicate the feeling of having a big house through trickery or like vr or having like you know even the most rudimentary version of this is people put a mirror in a room to make it look more expansive right yeah it's just a mental trick so what if you had a that's why i broke a hundred i broke a hundred mirrors before i figured that out what do you want you keep walking into them thinking you're going somewhere you're like who's this good looking guy in this room that house is massive

who's that motherfucker looking at me and i charge at him like a bull in a china shop a guy versus a mirror like that but we could do that with screens so just put a screen up you know in your tiny apartment and it looks like there's a walk-in closet but there isn't and it just gives you a mental space i tell you who's gonna need to exist i'll tell you who's gonna be pitching that idea who's that billionaires with massive houses will be like no no no you don't need a bigger house that's the problem? You need to buy the screen I've developed. The motherfuckers with the big house telling you you don't need one. Yeah.

Live in a shoebox and tell me that's cool. Yeah. Why don't you tell me from a tiny home? Hey, Zuckerberg, why are you covering your kids' faces on your Facebook pictures if the rest of us are supposed to be putting our kids' photos up? I was thinking I want to re-watch the social network. Same, actually. I'd love to watch that with you. I would love to watch that with you. Putting our kids photos up I was thinking I want to re-watch The social network Same actually I'd love to watch that with you

I would love to watch that with you We should smoke some weed And watch that With good sound I know That would be That would be so nice What are my other tabs?

I had a message to read to you A message What is this? Family time? With Tim and Guy? It's just interesting Because we had a bet And I still owe you

20 huck 20 dollars cold hard Do you know what else you owe From the live show That we did Look at this face Those who subscribe on Substack Just for a moment of realisation

Go across Guy's face I don't know what you're about to say Don't you need to watch Sex and the City Two like A few times in a row because you never did that are you fucking kidding me did you do it yeah oh you ordered me a bunch of sushi i had covet 19 oh yeah you did have covet it was during lockdown oh my god i completely forgot about that you look terrified though just yeah you have power over me sometimes and I hate it.

I got a message on Instagram from someone named Ben. Hey, Ben. Guy. Oh. To most you, 20 bucks. From? This is Ben from Killian, yeah. Yeah.

The Rock has somewhat famously lied about his height for years. He used to be billed as 6'2 and is now claiming 6'5 there's a lot of pictures of him next to athletes with known heights and he seems firmly in the guy montgomery height class ben out fuck you dude so i mean i i guess it's you know i'm happy to um be proven wrong on that are you yeah because it'll like hamper his chances of becoming the president. You've got to bet a shot if you're taller. So The Rock being 6'6", 6'1", wouldn't it be great if he was 5'11"? What if we gave each other $10 to split the bet?

Love it. We've shaken on it. I'm going to have to withdraw it. Yeah, and they'll probably charge you for that. Yeah, they do. Have you seen these new ATMs popping up around the place that are fee-free, but they do all the banks? No.

I'm trying to figure out what the fucking scheme is here. Something's going on. They popped up all of a sudden, and they're everywhere now, and I'm like, what's the fucking go here, guys? What's going on? Who's this helping? It's not just me. Someone's paying for this.

It might not be me directly, but I feel like I am somewhere. There were two things I wanted to say, two of the tabs that I remember having open I'd love to hear them number one was you were talking about how these god-fearing midwesterners

are the only people watching terrestrial television I was in Brisbane on the weekend just been I filmed my comedy show the hour I've been touring

this year I'm going to release it on YouTube your Fred award winning show the Fred is the highest comedy On a New Zealand And I'll tell you this And I'll say it with pride

It won the best Best in show at Sydney as well Yes This is a Two times over This show's been a judge Listen Good

It's good But I was in I was doing the show And there's a point where I ask If there are any teenagers in And there were All sorts of teenagers Down near the front Oh And I said Because I never assumed there are any teenagers in and there were all sorts of teenagers down near the front.

Oh. And I said, because I never assumed people who are teenagers would come to my show. I said, how did the teenagers know about Guy Montgomery? And? And they said they know about me from terrestrial, this is in Australia, mind you. Oh. They know about me from terrestrial television. They watch a TV show there called Have You Been Paying Attention?

That's where you're on there. And I said, what are you doing? You're supposed to be the future Yeah What are you watching fucking network TV for? God damn Did you get their asses? I didn't really

I mean people laughed at them for that But I was like this is Befuddled I was blown away I didn't think there was anyone out there doing that Yeah What are you watching? Me?

Streamers I've been on YouTube What am I watching? I'm watchingers I've been on YouTube What am I watching? I'm watching nothing Yeah I finished off The Boys Oh On Amazon Prime

Good times Which I've been gifted by my like Internet provider or something For six months So I was like I should go and check out What's good on that Amazon Prime I'm actually

I'm watching Deadlock on that right now I started reading a book On Amazon Kindle So I'm just in I'm in the pocket I'm actually listening to a book On Amazon Audible Yeah So You're just in the pocket. I'm actually listening to a book on Amazon Audible. Yeah.

You're listening to the book version of my favorite documentary ever. Sorry, they made a documentary from the book. No, no. I'm listening to just the words. Just the words of the doco. Of the doco, yeah. It would work.

Probably. It actually would. The book's probably a little bit more detailed. Yeah. I should read the book book It's about Enron That's by the by That was the first tab I had open I just had to

The book's called And the documentary's called The Smartest Guys in the Room Yeah Because that was the sort of description of Ken Lay and Jeff Skilling That's right And Andy Fastile

But it turns out Well Fast I think he's Fessile But his name's actually Festo As in this motherfucker Didn't learn how to Didn't learn how to Festo the line

Who's in jail now? Ken Lay died In prison I think I think the other Although there's a lot of theories That he actually is living On an island somewhere

I think a lot of the guys Are out Jeff Skilling's still Knocking around I think Walks among us yeah maybe he is he went to jail i think for maybe a tiny yeah he's out he's out he's out he's out and about and andy and he's a good guy man don't worry about it hey don't worry about it he's all right now yeah we've watched four of the movies we're after the halfway point and we've watched this was the 30th time we've watched four of the movies. We're after the halfway point in our season. We've watched, this was the 30th time we've sat down with the family.

31? Nope. Nine plus eight is 17. Yeah. Plus seven. 24. Plus six. 30.

Hmm. Interesting. I want you to tell me, first of of all what are the names of the movies the release titles starting at the top with the ninth film what's it called fast nine f9 fuck well i was gonna say f9 but it was actually released as f9 yep dang next the fate of the furiousious Yep Furious 7 Yep Wait Furious 7 So this one

Wait No that's not right Is it? Yep So this one is Furious 6? No this one is Fast 6 I assume

I'm guessing What is this one? Fast and Furious 6 Fast and Furious 6 I think a guy who's watched it Six times would know that by now Now I want you to take a guess I've been calling it Furious 6

Across those 30 screenings in those four films. I swear it's 31, but I don't know how I've got there. You can give me the answer in either days, minutes, or hours. How long have we been watching Fast and the Furious so far? I've got to shoot from the hip because I don't want to do math and fuck up my gut answer. So I'm going to say in hours 18 and a half because it's so low isn't it across all of them yeah well i've said it now how what's the actual math what's what if i told you tim that we spent with the fate of the furious alone we spent 18.1 hours.

Oh, no. What if I told you with F9 we spent 21 and a half hours? Fucking hell. We just finished spending our 13th hour with Fast and Furious 6. That feels paltry by comparison, doesn't it? We have spent so far in the cinematic universe the sum of 4 4131 minutes otherwise known as 80 rounding up very slightly yeah 69 hours 60 70 hours ish 69 rounding up from like 68.5 hours 69 69 hours almost three full days and don't you think you feel it?

A little bit. It feels heavy. I don't know if you've ever gone hiking in mud. Yeah. It's that sort of syrupy, energy-sapping, difficulty level. You've been walking for a bit, and when you started off in the morning, you kicked off. You're at base camp,

and you're actually feeling pretty good about the day. You get that fresh air that hits you really gets in your lungs um you get all strapped up so you get your long johns off uh you get your shorts on it doesn't matter what the weather is if you're hiking you get your shorts on did you coffee i have a theory that leg i have a theory that legs don't get cold yep it's sort of it's new zealand specific maybe because there are climates in which legs do get cold but i always say to chelsea legs don't get cold. Yep. It's sort of, it's New Zealand specific maybe because there are climates in which legs do get cold. But I always say to Chelsea, legs don't get cold. I know what you mean.

She thinks they do. I think I've felt like my legs be cold, but I still agree with you somehow. Yeah. I think they just don't know how. Anyway, I was going somewhere with that. So you're on the trail. Yeah, you're in shorts. You've got your pack, you know, fully was going somewhere with that. So you're on the trail. Yeah, you're in shorts.

You've got your pack fully laden. It's on there. You're on your way. First couple of hours is all good. But if you're trudging through the mud, that day gets long quick. Hour three, you're like, fuck. We've got six more hours of this.

That's not good. That's where I'm at with this franchise. If I could continue to walk with your hiking metaphor, would you also say, because I- If it was unpatriotic calling it hiking, it's tramping, we're in New Zealand. I'm looking to turn a page with you in our relationship to this season and this project.

Because I agree, we're hiking through mud yeah what if what if you know what if we thought about the fact that you know the the rucksack or the backpack that we're trampling with is is a little lighter now we're not carrying as much food and drink as we were at the start we're getting through our supplies yep and you know maybe the weather's evening out a little. Maybe the mud's drying. Well, the weather outside is frightful. Yeah.

And you've got 20 more episodes of us to go. Only 15. Cool. Yeah. And since you have no place to go you can do this and there's no rush we've got as long as you need watch the show watch the show watch the show i knew you could i just think it was the the back end of F6 was killer. And 69 hours is nothing to sniff at. If anything, when I stack the hours on top of each other,

I look at them and I think, look at what we've done. Look at where we are. And so I feel as we stare down a new entry in the franchise, a new number of screenings. Five. Yeah. Easy. Simple. I think we've got this

Yeah Do you know what Tim? Hell yeah dude We've got this And the next time we get together to watch a movie It's not going to be with a heavy heart It's going to be with an open mind Yeah fucking A

Because we're going to be heading into uncharted waters We're going to be heading into uncharted waters. We're going to be cooking with gas. Which, did you know that that saying was made up by the gas industry? Really? How good is that? Now you're cooking with gas. To sell gas. Yeah.

Damn. Fuck, man. Some real Enron shit. Yeah, isn't it? I like that. Do you know what would pair well with your current um audiobook have you watched the century of self the adam curtis documentary about edward bernays and the rise of consumerism no it's fucking good i like that name bernays he was sigmund freud's nephew and

basically he took all of the things that sigmund freud learned about human psychology and put into advertising selling products yeah you told me about this psychology. And put it into advertising. Put it into selling products. Yeah, you told me about this guy. He got women into smoking. Yes. All kinds of cool shit, man. Oh, smoking. Does it still look good?

Yeah. Sadly, it does. And all the better in the face of vaping. Because the whole thing with vaping is like, well, now we're going to knock out smoking. It's like, A, you didn't. And B, this looks shit but you know what looks cool people unfortunately sigs have you i don't i haven't really i haven't had

access to the people the people like vaping as much as like if you if you were on darts and you got hooked and you got off them and you got on vapes yeah i just feel like when everyone's had a couple drinks or whatever the people who are vaping or who aren't vaping But do vape They're reaching pretty hard for a vape The people who want to vape But aren't currently vaping? Yeah the people who are like

People who don't vape but vape Which is everyone I don't buy a vape but I'll have a vape Three drinks in They're asking around. Massively. Yeah, hugely. With intent.

Yes. It's like, if they see one. I'm so glad I never got into smoking, eh? Because I know that I would never be able to quit if I did it. I never got into smoking. I know that about myself. I think you got a little thing there, just on your nose. Yeah, I did. It was a little bogey oh good for you thank you um a bogey do bogeys have

nutritional value for plants let's find out what happens if the plant gets massive imagine that just get you to come and sneeze on all my house plants for a while um yeah man cigs have you ever like you've never been a smoker no have you can you remember a time smoking a cigarette yeah i smoked clove cigarettes uh like for a day i think when you traveled through thailand or what no someone came home someone came home with them and i like some lamb born how they put money on it maybe i like how they made my lips feel. Because it takes sweet. Yeah, yeah. That was nice. And I smoked, I think the first time I tried ecstasy, I tried a cigarette.

But I hated the cigarette because I hadn't smoked before. And people like, you know, people like, oh, and if you're, you know, know like this is i sound like i'm from like the 18th century but you know like it used to be a thing if you took an ecstasy pill and you had a cigarette it was like the best thing ever oh i didn't know that yeah so i tried it but i'd never learned to like smoking cigarettes in the first place yeah i think that only works if you've got the chemical hook yeah so it was really gross gotcha uh and then i'm trying it just ruined both things yeah i got i got i got yeah i got too light-headed oh yeah okay and i i know it from like sometimes if you've smoked weed with people and you know there's just a joint whatever going around it's

like cut with 70 tobacco yeah you draw on it like it's anything else and you're like yeah and you're so rude and i can feel you feel well if it's theirs it's really not you can feel like the the heady effect immediately you start spinning like yeah you know what do you think about the archives we're leaving with this podcast you had some questions about the um i think dom toredo that i accidentally saw because you use messenger to me as your notes not always not always you did again today well sometimes but the thing is not always because here's my feeling about today guy the movie was on it was on a television it was hard to watch it and to pay attention to it there was a lot of gas and by the boys yeah well i haven't seen some of it about furia six i often not haven't seen you for a while and there's things happening in my life there are

things happening in your life um and you know someone should do a parody song it's my life there are things happening in your life um and you know someone should do a parody song it's my life bon jovi but it's my wife and borat voice i i if you punch into youtube that's out there it has to be the other thing i wanted to say which is ancillary but sort of cash involved i've totally forgot this is a tab i had open That you didn't even know about But I have to close it down Because you were like this Yeah I was also from when I was in Brisbane The hotel I was staying in

Was right next to the Brisbane Casino It's a fucking nice hotel room too You sent me some photos No, no Oh, where was that one? That was in Melbourne Oh, gotcha, gotcha That was a nice

Look at you and your carbon footprint Look at it I know It doesn't matter how much I've said it I still feel like I'm doing something bad Brisbane Casino Right next to the hotel Did you go in?

Well I was like I'm not with anyone Yeah boy What am I going to do? Just go to bed I went in there Yeah I took out

100 Australian dollars Yeah And I started playing $30 a hand blackjack Cool I won a few hands Cool And I thought

I'm going to get off this table While I'm hot Nice Went for a walk Went to a roulette table Yeah 50 dollars I'd already won like

You know I think I won like 90 dollars Sweet And I put 50 dollars down on On a colour? On black Yeah and? It's black

And I take that $50 Your boy's riding high I go to another roulette table I put $50 down again On black And It's black Woo wee

I won like A couple hundred bucks Yeah I won like In like 15 minutes I was in and out I didn't even buy a drink And did you bail Yeah I just got out

My fucking man That story rocks And then Yeah I know And there was a guy sleeping rough And there was a drunk. And did you bail? Yeah, I just got out. My fucking man. That story rocks. And then, yeah, I know. And there was a guy sleeping rough and there was a drunk guy giving him a hard time. Yeah. So I just gave the guy who was sleeping rough like $50. That's so sick.

And then the other drunk guy started pestering me. Oh, really? He's like, can I have $50? And I was like, no. No, you were fucking with this guy. And then I went to bed. That rules. That's a great night

and this whole story might have taken place in about 25 minutes it did it legit did like i went home to go to bed and then i was i got the text you could only drop me off like yeah it was equidistant from the hotel to the extent i was looking at it i was like i'm gonna do this i love that bro i've got this thing where like if um i think it's called a gambling addiction if like if free money sort of falls into my lap I don't do it anymore actually I used to do it if it's kind of like

I haven't you know done anything to get this I haven't earned it I haven't worked for it whatever there's some money falls in my lap very infrequent that would happen have to gamble it once

almost to launder it I tell you I was actually talking to an Australian comic called Gerard McGowan shout out to Gerard he's on a podcast there called The Mug Off

fantastic podcast really funny three guys host it three Aussie guys they get pretty out there but if you've got the appetite it's worth a listen alright

but they did a live show and as part of the live show they took the entire door and put it on black on a roulette table. Oh, sick. And lost. Good, actually. So good. That feels like it's important that that went badly.

I was talking with him about it. Serves the entertainment of the show. Yeah. It will quash anyone's little you know itch no I was talking

I was like you know if the podcast gets big you should do it again with like a big door and he was like yeah that's what I want fucking hell

no good so the questions I had a low light this week and I can't remember what it was but I told you I was like

this is oh I know what it was Paul Walker being a wet blanket on the boys kicking off a little bit and i can't even remember what the boys are saying but the rock and vin oh yeah who's working for who um so we're at the end of the movie we're at the barbecue it's like you know it's been great the rock is like it's been great having you working for me and dom treta goes i think we all know that you've been working for me yeah and so the boys are about to fucking get into it i reckon yeah double alpha and then fucking brian o'connor has to come in and go let's agree to disagree fuck you dude you don't like that middle management human resources shit let the boys kick off

What do you want to see? I want to see the boys get into it What do you want to see? You want to see them physically fighting? I want to see hands Arguing? I want to see hands Throw hands

Yes Damn And it was the only time it was going to happen Between them at least Brian has to come and Bloody put an end to it Too early Let it play out a little longer.

I get it if you're anti-violence and you don't want people to throw hands. Let's get to the point. Mia and, you know, and... Jack? Jack. Is that his kid? Yeah.

Yeah. Look at me. Yeah, look at you. I'm fucking looking at you. What do you want to say? I know that there's an obvious favourite in this do you want to say I know there's an obvious Favourite in this But who's got it

There's an obvious Oh in the fight I hate to say it But I think Dwayne would win Does everyone else chime in Physically Verbally

Oh like verbally For sure Everyone's just watching Especially Roman Roman starts taking bets I reckon Roman man When I said double alpha Before I was thinking of Roman In Fast 7 about everyone's just watching especially roman roman starts taking bets i reckon roman man when i said double alpha before i was thinking of roman and um fast seven and i was thinking

that's a good lie he's good he's his wise cracks it's funny how he's grown on us hey it's not a shock ludicrous is uh still pretty uneven my low light the screening was the and i've probably brought up before but when he's him and roman you know they have a back and forth and it just the more i fall in love with roman the less even the sort of dynamic feels in terms of like i don't think i don't think chris ludicrous chris bridges can quite hang with this you know and he says your voice just went is when he says your voice went from Shaggy to Scooby Doo And then Which is a bad enough line Honestly

It's a bad enough line And then he does the act out of the voice And it's a bad act out And I'm like I don't know I understand if you're an open mic And you're just trying this stuff out And you need to see if the jokes work

And you've got to do the tag Even if the set up You're like this set up doesn't work But Guy Montgomery wins a couple of awards Now he's gatekeeping Who gets to do comedy in Hollywood movies. You've changed, bro. I am gatekeeping. And if I ever get my hands on that file,

I'm going to digitally alter it. I'm either going to change the gag or edit the joke out. Every movie I watch, I'm going to get my fingers on and I'm going to edit out all the jokes that don't amuse me. You've really got my gears spinning with this ABBA hologram show, Chatterbro. Because I'm thinking, you know, so as we record,

there's still the writers' strike and actors' strike, I think as well, in Hollywood right now. They're stricken. They're both stricken with chasing down better working conditions and contractual agreements. And it does feel weirdly dystopian. If I was the CEO, this is what I'd say. I find your argument to be quite striking.

And then walk out. Not negotiate with anyone. And then they'd be like, what the fuck was that? And in my head, I'd be like, see, I can do this without you. All this shit about, about Like I don't know Getting people's representation digitally And then they can just throw it at anything Yeah

It feels redundant to even say out loud at this point Feels kind of yuck Yeah But I didn't realise how kind of possible it was In a legal sense Not just a tech sense Because I think right now the sitchers Like background actors realize how kind of possible it was in a legal sense not just the tech sense because i i think right now the sitch is like background actors can get a day right so they'll go in and get paid 500

bucks to get their face and body scanned into a and then they're in every movie forever yeah and and that apparently is legal at the moment that's fucking unto us a star is born i totally agree it does feel a bit like these guys read the fine print like at the last moment when it was still like bro do you know it would be crazy sorry to interrupt no don't imagine if theater got big again as a result of all of this people were like you know what i want to see people acting and i can't trust anything i observe on a screen anymore let's go to the theater it's not impossible i sort of you know there is a part of me sorry to talk about comedy again that does feel this impacts everyone but insulated to an extent where it's like

live comedy you know it's it's never been it's never will be or has been as big as movies or you know tv or any of that stuff like it's a very niche entertainment stream but also it feels a little bit more protected or like it's it's a further reach yeah yeah i think you're right yeah you know the the the relationship between audience and performer you can't rip off comedians as easily as you can i mean it's because we write our own shit well but a lot of comedians are using ai as a writing writing now i think is that true i think so yuck or good i don't fucking know well my default is yeah that's the other one and i'm sure we've already covered it but i think like you know is it going to be snobby are we going to be is it going to be elitist i think it'll just be old we're just the old they're like oh you don't believe that fucking robots gpt can punch up your jokes fucking grandpas and we'll be like back in my day you got

a pencil and a notebook do you think do you think like when say you're doing stand-up comedy in 40 years it's like a feature of christ alive how you're advertising at age 76 that's right you're just still running a couple open mics no no you're hitting your stride you're selling out arenas you think in the advertising materials it's like either in big lettering or the lettering yeah he writes his own jokes or all jokes oh my god human created ai free yeah certified free range yeah yeah comedy yeah is that gonna happen um i don't know well it's impossible to kind of like prove. So if that became a thing, people would just use AI and say they didn't. Well, it's not, you know,

like Volkswagen was saying like all of that, you know, like it's not. Oh, like our emissions are good. Yeah, exactly. You know, you can lie about anything. Yeah, yeah. You can lie about this shit. Well, yeah, I guess so.

It's sort of a slightly imperfect analogy. I get what you're saying. But someone just measured them and were like, wait a minute, Volkswagen's sort of a slightly imperfect analogy I get what you're saying But someone just measured them and were like Wait a minute Volkswagen's full of shit You can't measure it with comedy very easily But you know They knew they were lying You know

Who would Dominic Toretto vote for? Upcoming election? So are we presuming it's Biden-Trump again? No He could be grassroots He could be talking about upcoming election yeah so are we presuming it's biden trump again because no oh he's like he could be on the ground he could be grassroots he could be talking about oh he's voting green party is he yeah um what the fuck's his name that's so bad that i've forgotten it's gone out of my head doctor oh my god i can see him so visibly in my head he's like a very prominent black academic and active like lifelong activist cornell west he's voting dr cornell west damn is the family

voting with him the family do not know that he's voted for the great he's not screaming from the rooftop there's no stickers there's no sign on the yard like dom is a guy who who he's he goes through life super neutral he's like um lederman i think would i mean lots of people in america but you know public figures wouldn't say who they vote for so they don't want to offend anyone and i think dom's in that space yeah but he's voting for dr cor Cornel West in this upcoming election. Who's The Rock voting for? The Rock is telling everyone he's voting for Biden and in the booth he's going Republicans, he's going Trump. And is that because of a genuinely held political belief that he has or is that because he thinks that another...

He desires the chaos. Because he thinks... He's bored. Okay. He's so rich. Do you think it's in service? He wants a tax cut and he wants chaos because he knows that he won't be one of the people

in the meat grinders of the policy decisions that get brought in. That is so sinister. Is that more or less sinister than him doing that because he wants to create chaos so that he can emerge as like a shining beacon of hope? Yeah, that's probably in the mix a little bit as well. Yeah, true.

Say those are two independent- He's pouring gasoline on the fire so that he can come in and and be the firefighter which i am convinced is a thing that happens a lot in the volunteer fire brigade you gotta watch those fucking guys man yeah you know they're all heroes and all of that but one in 20 are starting a few of those fires around the country look out look out for darren they're mucking around he's got a glint in his eye and a gasoline canister in his trunk

I understand and a zippo in his pocket it's been a big summer for fires in the northern hemisphere woof yeah it's a hot summer out there

who knows why yeah it's hard it's hard to pinpoint yeah Rob Thomas and Carlos Santana actually wrote a song about it. Santana is kind of like Santana.

Santana? Santana? Santana? What would you say? Well, you say Santana and I say Santana. You say banana and I say banana. Santana, Santana Santana Banana

He's done shit with everyone Banana Man it's a hot one tonight I'd like to dedicate this episode To Paul Rubens R.I.P We don't normally talk about Like topical things

Happening in the world on the pod But We've just done a shitload of them Yeah he did Yeah so let's add it on the pile That's what we should be watching Peewee's Playhouse Big Adventure

Oh yeah That's a we should be watching. Pee Wee's Playhouse? Big Adventure. Oh, yeah. That's a... Yeah. Fuck yeah, dude. Yep. Man. He was really creative. Yeah.

A true original. He got tarred with an unnecessarily harsh brush. It was so shit, man. It was so shit. Yeah. Do you know he was the... If jerking off's a crime then i'm innocent baby because i've never touched myself do you know he was the voice of the ship and flight of the navigator i don't even know if you know that movie it came out like 1987 it's one of those

classic family movies that heaps of people have on vhs i don't think he's even credited and wow but it's him that's a cool movie when you when someone's like a big role or something meaty and yeah nah leave it out don't worry about it it's all good don't worry about it so my shining light for this watch of fast six this is unprecedented because you're not supposed to do this and worst idea and i don't think I've probably have done it before but I'm kind of going to double dip on something I've already brought up yeah

the guy playing the guy yeah who works for sure who's in the prison who the Vin Diesel lookalikey

no no no no when Brian gets put into the pen oh yeah and he actually ends up stabbing the guy a few times

I think we're going to be seeing a little more of him. I fucking hope so. I don't think we get his name in this flick at all. No, we do. Oh no. They say who he's

they say because fuck. It's like, who's that? And then Brian's like Brian put him in my bus. Guy, we've watched this half a dozen times. Yeah.

Fuck. That's so embarrassing. This Zoom model is an F6. Yep. Well done you. Thanks. And's so embarrassing. This Zoom model is an F6. Yep. Well done, you. Thanks. And the car Zoom. That whole scene is my shining light.

That guy's performance is my shining light. Like I've named before the moment where Brian says, I'll fuck up the exact way he says, but he's like, man, if this door wasn't between us. Yeah. And then he just looks to his boy, because he's like man if this door wasn't between us yeah and then he just looks to his boy because he's got

two henchmen does a little nod and the door immediately just slides open of the prison cell that Brian's in such a great moment but that whole scene

is my shining light because that guy fucking is good at acting can I describe what this is like this is like fuck

we keep going out for a meal yeah and you don't like the restaurant yeah but you've found a little thing on the menu that you're like well you know what i don't like the restaurant but if i just ordered this pasta dish this specific actually this fettuccine this chicken fettuccine is the and it's not you know if you got served that chicken fettuccine in a different restaurant you might look at it differently. Maybe. But in this setting?

That's true, actually. If I was in a better restaurant and they brought out that chicken fettuccine, I'd be like, it was fine. Yeah. But in that Denny's, I'm like, this excels. Yeah. I don't know who the pasta chef is at this Denny's. Give this pasta and Oscar.

Have you got a shining light, guy? We'll get to it. How much longer do you think we've got? I don't know. How much longer do we have? Not long. Well, I just want to talk about, because you got obsessed with describing the tank as being birthed and born.

Can I be honest? I was trying to pull you out of your cell phone because I think you were doing all the math at that exact moment on how long we've been watching all the movies. I was watching you just on your phone. I was like, hey, look, a tank's been born. You can check what I was writing.

I wrote this in my message to you, beautiful fuck, on my messenger service. Is that what I'm listed as in your messenger? It says, unto us a tank is born. That's what it says. And then it says, so, you know, and I'll qualify this before I read exactly the quote. But you know, in biology. Yeah.

That like a mule, I think it is. A mule. Can't procreate with another mule successfully. Yeah, a mule is not born of two mules. It's a genetic cul-de-sac. It's born of a horse and a donkey. And I was going to say to you, because that was after I wrote

Untowards a Tank is Born, I thought the same way that they make a mule, I actually wrote an ass, but I think a mule is that. What two vehicles must procreate to make a tank? I love that question. I knew you would.

So you think I'm dicking around. I'm out here. I don't. I don't. I've got faith in you. I've known you long enough. I know when you're cooking. Yeah.

And that's why I didn't, at that moment, I knew you were cooking. I knew you were in the kitchen. And I'd like, I wanted you to pay more attention to the movie, but I knew you were working on something good. I was working on something good. A chicken fettuccine maybe. I don't know.

I don't know a vehicle that has a, what is it called? A barrel? It's a barrel of a cannon. A straw? Oh, it's a cannon. Oh, yeah. A cannon fucks a, nothing else has the tracks of a cannon. No.

A tractor. It's a fucking, that's what it is. Yeah, has the tracks of a tank. No. A tractor. It's a fucking, that's what it is. Yeah, yeah. It's a cannon. Do you know what? And a tractor have sex and that makes a tank. I'm so happy. Who's, who's, who's, what's going where?

I mean, it's a pretty natural you're going the cannons fucking the tractor's exhaust pipe yeah is that it yeah yeah i reckon does it does it go inside the exhaust i don't think it could yeah it goes over the tractor i don't know about that yeah it's like a finger trap be a whole scene it'll be a whole bloody scene mate i'll tell you that you got this so you know what you got this so fast and I just totally agree. I don't know. Like, I don't want to get into the... I don't think they procreate the same way we do.

I think they have a different kind of procreate. You know, like how fish kind of just like expel millions of eggs and then male fish come and like inseminate them. It's something like that yeah that egg stuff that egg stuff's wild that egg stuff's crazy it's so inefficient from an energy point of view that these fish have to like make millions of eggs and then and then these male fish just come and like spray jizz over them and hope for the best. Plus they've made caviar. That shit's got to be so good if you're a shark and you're like,

don't mind if I do. Yeah, what do you think caviar costs in the ocean? What do you think the currency is in the ocean? Shells. No, it can't be because there'd be too much cash lying around. That'd be like using skin as your currency. No, it can't be because there'd be too much cash lying around. That'd be like using skin as your currency. No, it's not skin. No, because like, you know, shellfish.

Rocks. What was the first currency? Well, I mean, shells is sort of, I think, the early one that people talk about. Really? Yeah. Because there, I think, there were like what I think old anthropologists would call primitive cultures, which I would disagree with that terminology, but we'll use it for useful. What would you call them? Well, like unfucked with, different.

That maybe they, I don't know, like probably Europeans came upon them in the 18th century or something, they were using, or they found evidence maybe of them using shells to transact. While we're here. Can you tell me why? Do you know where I read that? In a, in a book about that was that book debt, the first 5,000 years. I remember so little of that book.

And it took me so long to read it. By the time I got to the end, couldn't remember a damn thing. You might be able to answer this. If, if someone bought a mint and just printed a bunch of money, why is that bad? They just went around and gave it out to people.

Because the money is supposed to represent value. But if you can just keep producing it, it diminishes the sort of value of currency. I'm listening to this book about this up-and-coming business yeah it's called enron yeah and it seems like if you can just accrue as much money as possible by whatever means necessary it's kind of like okay i haven't tried to ever do this out loud but should i give it an attempt please we buy a coffee machine so let's say this cup, this coffee cup is worth 10 coffee beans. Okay.

But then if I just keep making more coffee beans, so there's like tons of coffee beans. So let's say there's one cup and there's 10 coffee beans. Yeah. So they're like equivalent. That's a fair trade. I don't think I'm going to pull this off. No, no, no.

I'm here. I'll give you 10 coffee beans for that cup. And you know that I've only got 10 coffee beans. Yeah. I don't know how to land the plane on this. Suddenly I've got like 50 coffee beans for that cup and you know that i've only got 10 coffee beans yeah i don't know how to land the plane on this suddenly i've got like 50 coffee beans you do you've still got one cup yeah i don't know what's the value of the cup yeah the cup yeah yeah it's like that something something inflation how long did it take you to read that book that wasn't from that book but it's like when you don't increase the value of the things that are being traded but you do increase the uh supply of the currency that represents it then the whole thing gets out of whack and that's that's how you can

get inflation running away man with you i wish i had a better like fundamental understanding of that mechanic but it's you know the starting point is something like what I described. There'll be people absolutely spewing listening to this podcast. Then there'll be people like me. You fucking idiot. Guess what? I didn't go to university, bro. Yeah.

There'll be people like me who are like, leave me alone. Damn. Damn, my boy's tim's pretty bright. So if I go out and I bring you back 50 coffee beans, can I have that cup? Absolutely. It's yours.

My shining light? Yeah. We're at the car auction. It's a scene that always draws me in. Who are we? We are... Dwayne the Rock Johnson and... Chris Ludacris, Chris Bridges.

And Smarmy Britt, who we think owns his own home in London. In the background, there's a guy. He's got long hair. He's got a little beard. He's got sunglasses. He's just having a day out. He's on the bottom left.

I can't remember whose frame it is. I think it's Ludacris' frame. I think that's right, yep. We actually don't get that much of him. How many frames would you estimate? I reckon I spent probably six to seven seconds looking at this guy and i was just looking at him and i wasn't looking at him as an actor i was looking at him which is you know testament to the extra and probably where my brain was at as well but i was looking at him as like

a guy with a lot of money in london at this car auction out with his mates you know sometimes you look at people and you see the totality of their life. You see all of the aches and agonies and sort of anxieties and all of the struggles that everyone carries through a human life. And then sometimes you look at people and you're like, God, it looks good. That's what I felt when I looked at him. I was like, this guy's just having a good day.

Whoa. And I mean, how many coffee beans is it to buy that feeling tim you tell me brother i couldn't fuck well i'll tell you what yeah that's the end of the furious six chapter of our lives well let's fucking let's let's be proud of ourselves let's carry these backpacks lighter let's look under the the horizon for a fresh dawn some sun let's feel that mud dry out beneath our feet yeah let's clean our boots let's wear our shorts let's put on blister blockers on the relevant parts of our feet and toes and let us continue our trudge towards mecca Mika. 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.