The Worst Idea Of All Time - 31: Do Not Support These Boiz

Episode Date: October 6, 2023

Tim and Guy wax lyrical up top about the Midas touch they have on any media organization they do business with before diving into the meat and potatoes of a brand new movie: Fast 5, aka Fast 5ive.The movie with the biggest F in show business has both of our hosts excited. The location is singular, the stakes are clear, the stunts are tactile. Does Fast Five (5ive) represent an exciting new direction in the Furi-verse where these movies are actually...fun to watch? Guy experiences either preemptive or remarkably delayed grief and nostalgia for the loss of Paul Walker, while The Rock arrives on the scene with smaller arms, less self-confidence and the absolutely insane choice to flit between saying sumbitch and son of a bitch. Will the movie always play this well? Or is this just the blush of a first watch? Only time will tell.Support us on Substack at twioat.substack.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

🎵 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 For shining your dark shit light on me And I do Who sings that? Kanye's on it Hell yeah Kelis Some others

There's like four people on it I love that track Can't remember who's on it though Damn There's big hitters We're gonna put that I wanna say Q-Tip But he ain't

I think Just cause like I'll listen to anything I think that is a Q-Tip Is it? I think that's one of Oh you're right, he is. Taleb Kweli's not in that one, eh?

No, no, no. Common? No, no, no. Common might be. Is it? We're in a certain era of rap. It's Kanye. It's Q-Tip. I don't think Kanye's in it.

Yes, he is. It's post-tribe Q-Tip. I'm going to look it up kanye it's cute i don't think i don't think kanye's in it yes he is post tribe cuter okay i'm gonna look it up because kanye's in it he's not oh it fucking is buster rhymes isn't it yeah yeah we were guy and i were just hi everybody welcome to the worst idea of all time i was wondering if this was just for us this is the podcast my name is tim bat my name is guy montgomery and we've been doing a podcast for close to 10 years now where we uh watch bad movies too often and review them and traditionally we watch the same movie oh wow once a week every every week for a year How many new listeners do you think are listening to this app? It's impossible to say but it could be thousands So we're going to give them the download

Everything to this point We start in February 2014 with Grown Ups 2 Watch and review 52 times We get a small following in America due to a purely coincident, well, everything's coincidental, isn't it? That's how the cosmos works. But there was a fan or a listener on the Airwolf forums who happened to leave a comment that Paul Scheer saw

and read on how did this get made, where he mentioned the podcast from this commenter, and then some people listened to that, and then off the back to that and then off the back of that there was a vice interview this feels like it's new information for you guy based on um this is 10 years ago you've got yeah but this is our story this is our journey do you how much stuff we were on the lead page of vice.com for like a day and that really bankrupt advice it did and now they're shuttered yeah it drove a lot of traffic away what was next youtube came a sniffing gave us some money for a

pilot we made it handed it to them and they stopped commissioning original content they shut down the business unit that gave us money it's actually the second time that you and i have done that because we first met on a television station called TVNZU on a show called You Late. Yes. You were reviewing toilets. I was hosting the show. Not long after that, chemistry sort of found its feet.

We got the whole channel shuttered. Within a year. Within a year. They pulled the plug. They saw what we were doing. We've shut down free-to-air television networks in New Zealand. We've shut down far-reachingair television networks in new zealand we've shut down far reaching magazines come websites the across the world we've shut down youtube one of the most powerful players in the streaming wars we shut down their entire original content arm do not

back us yeah i swear to god if you if you if you support us in any way the only way is down for you you're going to get destroyed out there. If you even take an interest in us, if you even ask us a question. Bad things will happen. And even if your industry or livelihood isn't tethered to entertainment, you could be a vet and you could send us a message on social media that says, hey, I was just wondering, did you know about this? If we respond, I promise you.

Hey, Guy. Those animals are gonna stay sick Thank you Busta Rhymes Q-tip Kanye West Can you give me a year? Lil Wayne Can I give you a what?

What year did it come out? I can't Oh do you think there's multiple versions of this? Cause it could be I wanna see the album cover. It ain't loading. I love this song. It is so good.

Well, I'll tell you why we're talking about Busta Rhymes. Because he raps the post-credits or the credits song is Busta Rhymes. Guys, we watched a new movie today. We're on to F5. Furious 5. And we bumped our mics. It's actually called Fast 5. And one of the first things I enjoyed about the movie.

Oh, whoops. There's a pre-credits sequence. And then, which is Dom being tried, put in an orange jumpsuit, put on a prison bus and driven towards a high security facility, we assume. He is, the entire bus is recklessly upended by Paul Walker's Brian and Mia. It's crazy what they do to that bus.

And then we learn the movie's called Fast Five. And I really liked it because they did a big capital F and the F covered the F represented F for both the word fast and five so it was one F for two words. It's not Fast Ive Great design. And it's not Arsed Five Yeah. It's Fast Five

But only one F. Yeah How big can an F be? Explain that I mean technically it could be Right Angle Arsed Right Angle Ive because a capital F features two right angles. Imagine if it was I mean, technically it could be right angle arsed, right angle I've, because a capital F features two right angles. Imagine if it was Fast and Furious 5, and then it was an F so large it was occupying three words as F.

Three words as first letter. Imagine. That's a big F. Fast and Furious 5, I see. Well, I mean, do you know what the bad- Fast, Fand, Furious 5. That's a big F. Fast and Furious 5. I see. Well, I mean, do you know with the band... Fast, Fanned, Furious 5. That's four of them. With the band 5, the British answer to Backstreet Boys and NSYNC...

Spelt... Five I've. That's true. Because it was the number five and then I've. And I really liked them. Can't fold it for creativity. I hadn't seen that before. One of their members, Abs, released a solo song after 5 broke up.

Their abdominal muscles released a song? No, their name was Abs. It was sort of... Sure for Abby? Was it a woman? I don't know. In a way, it was my introduction to... Sex.

Selling.elling Yeah to sex Five I've Was Guy Montgomery's introduction to sex I really like Get On Up Is that five? Yeah Is that Get On Up When You're Down? Yeah yeah

Take a good look around That's one of those ones where I had the five CD Someone If you go to a wedding of people, our vintage, and someone puts that on, you go, oh, and then everyone will dance to it. We are so squarely at that point of our lives.

All the songs from our childhood are like... I don't know. I mean, this is an argument I've had with my dad so many times. It's different vintages of music. And there's no point in having the conversation because he'll never bend his knee to suggest that anything that was released after the 70s is equal to the music

that he grew up listening to. And I disagree on one hand. I think that the sort of range of genres and voices and music that has been introduced and the quality across that spans all of these different genres is higher from you know our childhood to now but i do think that that what was the at the pinnacle of pop music and the most popular music that was on stereos when they were growing up is superior to the pop music that has sort of um ushered us from adolescence to adulthood

i agree he won't agree with me on that wait i thought did you not just say that you sort of ushered us from adolescence to adulthood. I agree. He won't agree with me on that. Wait, I thought, did you not just say that you sort of conceded your dad's point? Yeah, it's not enough. That's so funny. Oh, so he's saying universally music that came out in my era is better than anything that's around now. Oh, that's silly.

Come on, Stephen. Nah, he's having fun with it. He is. We've got to get him on. We fucking do. You're really right about is. We've got to get him on. We fucking do. You're really right about that. We've got to get dad on. Yeah.

We've got to get dad on. Dad on the pod. Dad pod. No, this is gross. Can I ask it anyway? Go on. When dads get a hard on, do they call it a dad on? It's funny.

It's not nothing. You've been kind to me. you've been kind to me today do you reckon yeah i can't remember what there was a joke i made which i thought wouldn't get anything and i mean i don't think it registered on mic but anyone watching along would have seen you smile maybe you were being funny i often am funny. Yeah. I don't doubt it. I'm funny. I've got a new t-shirt. On right now? Yeah. Can I see it?

Yeah. Okay. Guys, pulling off his... If you're not supporting us on Substack for $5 a month, you're not seeing the video, but guys just taken off his very cool sweater and revealed an Auckland Warriors DB Bitter t-shirt, which I imagine harkens back to like an old

sort of era of the franchise. Yeah, this is original era. It's got Ansett on it, which is an airline that hasn't existed for damn near 20 years. Maybe longer. The launch of the Warriors, I think the Warriors, the New Zealand Warriors, Auckland Warriors at the time burst onto the scene in 1995. The Vodafone

Auckland Warriors. You know it? Incorrect. I can't believe you of all people have bent down at the altar of Vodafone Auckland Warriors. You know it? Incorrect. I can't believe you of all people have, you have bent down at the altar of Vodafone and started calling them one. I'm not bending down. It's just, that's their name. Do you still call them Telecom or Spark? No one calls them Telecom anymore.

It's 2023. There are so many greats. The Cake Tin's a big one though. Everyone still calls that Westpac. Stadiums We should We should never We should never honour the new sponsors

Stadiums will always be what they were called When the primary sponsor was in our youth Do you know what that stadium was That crypto.com bought for like a year? Was it in America? Yeah It was a big one in the States I mean

A lot of crypto brands, even that one that Sam guy, that bad Sam guy. Sam Altman. Friedman Banks or whatever. Yeah. Sam Friedman someone. That's amazing how quickly I've forgotten his name. Yeah, they bought up a bunch of renters.

He was crazy. Bankman Freed? He was a great grifter. He was, you know. Was he? He was explosive. He came on, he grifted a lot of people very publicly out loud for a long time i mean the tales the tales pretty long all the celebrities who he grifted who were then grifting punters they're in court right now because of the grift

yeah who did who did he get um tussled up in his shirt who's that larry Larry David. Oh, I thought like Laura Daniel got involved. Tom Brady and Giselle were in it. T Swift kind of got muddled up in it. You need, here's the funny thing about like getting involved in these sorts of things.

They rely on an element of greed. You need to be a little bit of a piggy to get involved in these sorts of things. This is the thing you think about

with the ultra wealthy, these celebs, is you assume it would be enough. And you hear about people getting money and becoming worse versions of themselves. And you always think, but isn't this part of what you would like? Isn't this a relief now? I've heard a different version, which is that when you get money, you become sort of the truest version of yourself. So it can really reveal you for who you are when you get equipped

with money that's interesting i mean who knows which version of that is true if money has that sort of corrupting influence or if it has an illuminating influence on your your true self but it would be more fascinating to me to um hold on to the the truth the truth is revealed as much fun as i'm having talking around the movie, Tim. Yeah, yeah. It was honestly a lot of fun to unearth a brand new entry into the Fast franchise. And also, to my eyes, straight away,

and I know I say this probably the first time I watch any new movie, the best one. One that I am... Yeah, I know. And I feel that way too. But can you... How easily do you think you can separate out the honeymoon period for us and an objective view of the movie?

I think with some ease, and I think... I was thinking about it during the climactic action sequence, which has been a real problem point for us across all of these movies so far. Not the whole third act but specifically the prolonged finale yes that and you know in fast six we were on a runway i can't be bothered stretching my brain so far i remember the final scenes and any of the other ones but they've always felt too unrunway nuclear submarine yeah space Oh space Spooge And there's something

The one place that hasn't been corrupted By the influence of capitalism There was something else in there as well But I can't remember what it was What I liked in this sequence Is that So the movie takes place Oh the big tanky one

The tank The No not the tank The truck That's like an 18 wheeler Yes And thingy with the drone. What's her fucking name? Yeah.

Charlize Theron. But is that happening simultaneous to space? Look, it's by the by. We don't need to challenge ourselves in this way because I'm making a point that has momentum, which is that they're all unmoored from reality. What I think means that this is going to, it's going to stand up on repeat viewing

and that final sequence isn't going to drag the way it has, is that first of all, the entire movie is basically set in one location, which we haven't had in any of the other films. And they picked a good place. We go to Rio de Janeiro and we fucking plant. We stay there. We're not on holiday.

I mean, we're not doing, you know, we're not down at eponema you know listening to stan getz and astrid gilberto we're not dipping into the ocean for a swim right recent i don't know people keep dying yeah we're just fucking getting shit done all right we're dealing with the corrupt underbelly of the cops we're dealing with uh criminal enterprises who are spread throughout you know the the sort of it feels loaded for me to call them the slums of rio de janeiro but i feel like it's probably in the world of the movie uh where we're dealing with lots of we're fixed so it's one

location so there's not all this fucking zipping hither and thither. We have also in the final action sequence, we are rooted in reality. It's unrealistic, but it's physical. It's like material. It's a heavy object. They've pulled off a heist. It's funny you say it didn't drag because it's literally about 30 minutes of dragging a heavy object.

It's Brian and Vin, side by side in cars, dragging a vault with 100 or 110 million american dollars in it and just smashing through all these different buildings and cop cars in rio and it's like it just felt so good for it to be it's all the stunt work felt real i don't know if any of it was cgi yeah i know and it just felt like it felt gritty and And even though it's absolute nonsense, it really hit me in a way which was like, yeah. Especially towards the end, they're on a bridge and they have to split up and Paul drives off.

And then Vin Diesel was just hauling this fucking safe around, just slamming it into cop cars. And you were even getting excited. You're going, and I'll see you later. And go, boom, and smash into a car. It was just so satisfying in a way that i haven't felt like the fucking plane there's so many choreographed physical fights and action sequences inside of the climactic sequence it was so there's so many moving parts and characters it was so boring but this was like it's really it

felt really focused yeah they really zeroed in on one core storyline that everyone is around steal a bank vault tie it to a car and use it as well at the end it's one but yes you're right tie it to two cars and use it as like a bombie knocker yeah that's what i say one car because that's really when he starts whipping it right like a scorpion's tail and it it it looked fucking good this whole movie looks really good this is i had this idea okay so this is a heist movie yeah through and through and this is i i understand because i read just the first paragraph on the wiki crazy stuff research homework he's doing now guys this movie represent a turning point in the fast and furious franchise from uh straight racer straight street racing to wanting to branch out to being a more

of a heist movie and i honestly think because maybe they hadn't got their self-confidence up or maybe they hadn't you know started throwing too much money at it for the franchise to support its own weight yeah but because they're like, we are going to make a heist movie, it felt like everyone really worked together and drilled into it. And they made a very enjoyable heist movie. They really did. And this is my point.

I think what the Fast franchise should be and should have been earlier on is they pick a genre. And so it's like, these guys do a thriller. These guys do a heist movie movie these guys do a rom-com yeah there's always cars and there's always the family but like throw a different keep throwing different genres i totally agree and before i um open and expand this idea with you i remembered

that the the final action scenes we forgot was with statham in los angeles they're in los angeles for one oh With Moses Jakunda and the helicopter. And they've got to take out the cell tower and shit. I totally agree. The predator drone. That's what I was thinking of. Why not swing from genre to genre? What happens after this?

Here's the thing about a street fight. The street always wins. Six through nine, Which is actually four movies And I've always found that numerically confusing Yeah same How can getting from six to nine be four? It shouldn't be

What's nine minus six? It's three Where's the extra number coming from? Well exactly You tell me to God I know man But I had to count days recently And I fell into this trap too

Because you've got to count one of the days But then you also kind of want to count both. You go around and around and around. The 24th to the 29th, how many days is that? No one knows. It's one more than you think. It's six.

24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29. How is that six days? Because you're starting on it. 229 minus 24, what do you get? Five. Why is it 6 days then? I don't know fucking hell

and shouldn't it be 7 if it's 6? no it cannot be 7 if it's 6 that's you're losing me there but 6 through 9

4 movies they're save the world movies the concepts are too big to be interesting the whole way through this is clean cut this is focused a heist movie is also by default kind of a thriller you are going to be interesting the whole way through. This is clean cut. This is focused.

A heist movie is also by default kind of a thriller. You are going to be thrilled. A little bit. There's an action component. Not Thriller with a capital T, but yeah. No, no, no. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's under that. It's thrilling.

Yeah, you will be thrill-ed. Thrills will be had. You will be thrill-housed. It will house some thrills. I just think, I I mean I don't disagree I think they pepper in Rom-com elements here Maybe the next movie

All of the couples Because we see Gal Gadot and Han Meet in this movie This is cute Maybe instead of just Having them save the world And her throw herself

Off of a fucking car That's attached to an airplane To die Miss her shot And have Han mourn her By moving to Tokyo She didn't miss her shot She missed her shot

She killed the guy Who was about to kill Han. That's why she sacrificed her life for him. She tried to. She straight up missed her shot. Which feels... Oh, he had to kill him, eh? Yeah. Han did.

Yeah, true. It actually, with hindsight, feels so ruthless to be like, you're going to sacrifice your life. Yeah. It doesn't make a difference who kills this guy, but it's not gonna be you but also then couldn't han have done it either way if he ended up doing it anyway well but did he need the

strength that comes from uh i think so and also you know like we saw vin diesel access that strength he accessed that strength when he was pinned down by the rock and then he saw me and he was like actually i'm stronger than this yeah but i just feel i mean also I think You know Han might not have been able To catch the guy off guard As much as he did Because when you're shot at You probably start acting A little bit differently

Can I just say That Those moments In stories and movies Are always fun When you see like Someone access Something that you didn't

Know they had access to But it doesn't quite work When you've got someone Like Vin Diesel Who just looks Super strong anyway And it's like Oh he's a little bit Stronger than you thought he was you knew he was really strong but he's a

little bit stronger than that a little bit stronger than you thought he was which was already literally as strong as it's possible for a person or semi-mythological creature to be exactly he's hercules um so it's kind of like okay what i want to see is like a i don't know a see is someone with Tej's build accessing that kind of strength under pressure. Tej's got a great build. We see more of it at the top of F6, but it's a funny thing, isn't it, in Hollywood? Because a lot of these people are wearing clothes. And what that does is hide the fact that behind the scenes and behind the fabric, they have all got phenomenal rigs. And honestly, it feels like Ludacris negotiated that at the start and behind the fabric great rigs they have all got phenomenal rigs and honestly

it feels like Ludacris negotiated that at the start of F6 he's like I'm fucking sick of being the nerdy computer guy I'm keeping it tight back here

start of this movie and for what we've got these high definition cameras let's put it on me board shorts no top I'm walking around

you're gonna see it it's a great look and he looks fantastic he looks relaxed and he looks sexy as hell I mean seeing as we've mentioned the word heist can we talk a little bit about do you know i a couple nights two nights ago was i with you no i think i was oh really oh maybe it was two

nights ago i was with you well i don't know where it is in the timeline of things but two nights ago i was with you recording a very good episode of and Just Like That. I'm trying to do something at the moment. I'm trying to build these raspberry pies and I'm sort of like doing a lot of Googling, figuring out how to do that. It's a computer. It's a little computer. Thank you.

I'm figuring out how to put them together. And so while it was on... Wait, wait, just pause. How many people percentage-wise would know that a raspberry pie is a computer thing? Half? No less. 10% of people, I reckon.

Living around today, I think. So, you know, I'm tinkering on some shit. And while that's on, I chucked a YouTube video on it. It was about Ocean's Eleven and why Steven Soderbergh is like... Soder, no N. Huh? He doesn't believe in Ns. Think about it.

Yeah, he doesn't believe in Ns. It's Soderbergh. No, Soderbergh. Yeah, Soderbergh. Oh, there is an N at the end of his first name. But if you look at it, it's actually, he's written it in pencil. It's an M and he's rubbed out the second part of it.

Steven Soderbergh. Yeah. Consistently mispronounced as Stephen. The thesis of the video was that he is a director and a writer who favors character over plot. And that's why Ocean's Eleven works so well. Because like the story is kind of like it's there. But all of these decisions have been made for you to kind of fall in love

with the chemistry of all these these characters and he's done such a masterful job and this was so fun about heist movies and this really this goes deep heist for about half of the movie so that we kick off and we're in high octane action i also fantastic action sequence it really rocked and i i was praying that this would be the case I was like fuck yeah they front loaded with the big

extended action sequence we normally get at the end to open the movie that's smart that's great but then they fucking bookended it and doubled it

but that first action sequence so after Mia and Brian get Vin out of the out of going to prison basically the pen

they're then committed to a heist with another guy called Vince it's in Rio they're stealing cars from a train Brian get Vin out of going to prison, basically. The pen. They're then committed to a heist with another guy called Vince. It's in Rio. They're stealing cars from a train. The particulars aren't super important. There's a chip. Again, this does feel character over plot because these are plot details that you can skim over

and it doesn't take anything away from the action sequence. I think we do, but yeah, go on. It's a slightly different thing. They take the cars off the train, which is all very exciting as it is. It gets to a point where everyone's peeled off except or been killed, except Vin and Brian.

And Vin's like driving. The train is basically about to go over a bridge over a big body of water. It's so exciting. Yeah, it is. And everything feels real. Brian's caught on a carriage, which is vulnerable. It's got a bit sticking out of it that's going exciting yeah it is and everything feels real brian's caught on a carriage which is vulnerable it's got a bit sticking out of it that's going to hit the bridge it's going to explode

vin is in a muscle car trying to accelerate so he can get close enough to brian for brian to jump from the train into the car we see brian time has jumped perfectly i mean honestly it felt like there was a comedy world where he jumped and just gets fucking poleaxed by the metal bridge. Yeah, hard. There's also the sort of other element is we see gasoline leaking out everywhere and on top of Brian. So a spark and they're fucked. Yeah, that's right. Deadly.

And so time does leap perfectly. He grabs onto the back of the car. And I think from so much time spent watching it in the falsified fast universe, six through nine yeah i was like well this is annoying because what's going to happen like faking the furious yeah faking the furious that's right because the car is like just on the other side of the bridge and so it's like well is what's been going to do slam on the brakes is he going to do some sort of fish tail and and get out and and the car's going to speed off into the desert but no he just keeps

the accelerator down they're both like fuck you watch the car accelerating alongside the train and next to the bridge just go sailing off this cliff face it's just going in the air and you're like oh my god like they're starting with this this is phenomenal and then you see them both maneuver their bodies in a way which is impossible but also feels real push off the car and they just jump and land in the water it is and it's just silence and it's like the sound mix the decision to I just felt like

for them to be like nah these guys are fucked instead of being like nah these guys cannot lose and having them spin out and get away that way to have

you know I was just I was like wow you've really dropped me in the movie here I'm like fuck I love this enthusiasm man I hope this persists I do too and I honestly think it will

because there's stuff to look forward to the whole way through Ocean's Eleven is a great reference to bring up because in the middle of this movie when they really go full heist they're like this is what we're going to need to do and we're going to need a team that's a heist trope though that's not an Ocean's thing

then we watch this recruitment montage we is like we're getting leo we're getting santos we're getting roman and uh giselle galgadon yeah and we don't like also i don't know but they've all got their cool names and they're like we're gonna need uh you know they don't do it like they do in oceans where it's like we need a mary Sue or whatever We're gonna need a loud mouth Yeah Someone who can talk their way through anything We need a weapons and utility guy Yeah

We need Yeah exactly But and we don't know I don't know how well All these people know each other Or if they've been featured in Like I feel like maybe Do you think we're getting introduced to Gal Gadot

Or do you think she's been in the one before Also Letty's dead this entire movie Yeah Which we did not expect Letty coming back to life must have been a fucking an absolute mind what do we fuck for the fans what do we think happened here in the franchise so this is five which means vin diesel went out for a period and broke up. When? I don't know the timelines. It's interesting. So we've got Fast Four where we now assume she dies.

We assumed it was this one. But F4, she dies. How small are the numbers getting? I mean, when you get to four, then you get to three, and that's Tokyo Drift. And we're only watching a handful of, each of them a handful now, because a handful is less than six.

It's five or less. So, Lady's gone for a whole movie here, but then they bring her back. So do you think it was a breakup? It's speculation. It's idle speculation, but.

You're right. They do set her up. So it's kind of like, it wasn't a rash decision where they were like, oh fuck, we'll put her in the next one because this was a mistake to not have her in. They do see that she's still alive in the post-credits yeah they think that you see a photo of her i guess it's just a cool way to um really put some stakes in the movie

in the franchise the post-credit sequence is the rock this is our intro okay we've got to talk about the rock in this movie but the post-credits sequence Is The Rock Sitting at his desk Eva Mendes? Yeah They just She looks so hot And they just put a Cop badge on her belt buckle

And they're like That'll do She's a police officer That's not Eva Mendes anymore You've never seen this one in your life Come on Is she a feature of this franchise? No

We've seen all the other movies Well And forwards And this feels like an introduction This feels like a cameo It's so odd No, we've seen all the other movies. Well, in forwards. And this feels like an introduction. This feels like a cameo. It's so odd that she's in one post-credits. It'd be like if we didn't, you know,

when we first saw the post-credits sequence in F6, the one with Stace beating up a guy in a bag. Was that eight? Nine? I can't remember. Yeah, it was eight or nine. like if that was states that was all and he wasn't there before and he wasn't there after it was just that that's what we got with even so you get even mendez swanning into the rocks office throwing down a file being like ladies alive and then bang you meant to walk out of the cinema and

what go about your day yeah you're gonna go to the coffee club and get a muffin with that information? Really through Guy. Un-fucking-likely. Guy had forgotten that Eva Mendes was on God's green earth. Eva Mendes was... Tell me about Eva Mendes and what she means to you. Well, first of all, she seems fantastic. Her and Ryan Gosling have a beautiful life together a family

i didn't know that i'm really happy for both of them i think growing up eva mendez was uh one of the first movie stars who i became enamored by who i was like wow i'll tell you what there's not a lot of people like eva mendez in my life here in christchurch it was like introduced to some other worldly form of beauty that you just didn't think existed i mean like this is what watching movies used to be i guess and still is it's like it's an introduction to you know ideas and um beauty standards which are just unavailable to us mere mortals who are living who are just getting through high school yeah yeah yeah and so she is she exists in a in rarefied air which is like you know it's not like now where i'm like everyone's

just a person yeah it's a it's it's the concept of a movie star let's see a swanning through a fucking fast you know see a showing up in my work not just the rocks workplace my workplace do you know who turned up at work today honey even yeah so when i go home and see chelsea you're never gonna guess who i ran into with tim my workplace. Do you know who turned up at work today, honey? Eva Mendes. It's the same when I go home and see Chelsea. You're never going to guess who I ran into with Tim. It would be so funny if that's how we talked about these actors. Talked about how it was your day at work today. Oh, it was all right.

I'll tell you what. Dwayne Johnson needs to fucking pull his head in. It was our introduction to Dwayne in the Fast and the Furious franchise. And I'm trying to figure out in 2011, if it was a bigger get for the Fast franchise to have The Rock in the movie, or if it was a bigger get for The Rock to be in the Fast and the Furious franchise. Well, I can tell you because I watched the other YouTube essay about his career. Tell me.

This was a bit of a career shot in the arm for The Rock at that point in time. Yeah, it feels like it. Yeah, it feels like it. Honestly, it feels like it. And I thought his acting was poor. I thought he arrived looking skinny and performing his lines with a lack of confidence. Skinny by The Rock's standards. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this, also, I want to say this. This is Luke Hobbs version 1.0 because he is a different character.

In this one He says the word fuck Which I feel like You know how characters have rules He doesn't He says some bitch all the time He says son of a bitch Twice in this movie

Which is through us I didn't know it was on the menu Of the ways The Rock can pronounce that turn of phrase Yeah pick one It's some bitch He says some bitch once Or son of a bitch And then Or a son of a bitch. And then he says son of a bitch twice.

Feels odd to chop and change. Yeah. But those are the only swear words we believe. It's like he's at a restaurant that serves Pepsi and Coke and he sits down and orders a Coke. And then after that, after he finishes the Coke, he says, and I'll have a Pepsi too.

Hey, bring me a Coke and when you can see me low, Pepsi. Then bring me a Coke after that. What would you say as the waiter if that's happening? I think it would really catch me off guard. I would stand there for a second and I'd be like, all right. But then I'd talk to the chef about it and be like,

that guy is a murderer. We need to ring the police and shut the restaurant down. It's crazy behavior, isn't it? Because it's not Yeah Anyway Give it a go Next time you're out I can barely drink one Coke

I'll do it Okay I'd like to be there Okay we'll go out to dinner And I'll order a Coke And then a Pepsi Yeah And see what they say

Okay can we do a role play Yeah Hello sir what would you like to drink Hey can I get a Coke please No worries And Hello, sir, what would you like to drink? Hey, can I get a Coke, please? No worries. And can I also get a Pepsi? We only have Coke here.

Well, what the fuck is this guy? Well, what are you going to do now? Well, I can't order the Pepsi because it's not there. I know. This is why we have to do the role play. I don't want you freaking out. You're actually right. Because any place that they've either got Coke or Pepsi,

none of them have got both. Okay, I'll work at a dairy. Yeah, but they don't care. That's the thing. The place that would have both Coke and Pepsi wouldn't give a shit. The place that would care would have one or the other. Yeah. I mean, no server actually gives a

contractually in bed with them anyway uh he says son of a bitch and he says some bitch let's put a button on that he um shoots a fucking dude whose last words are please help me yeah shoot some dead well you you're the one who clocks the fuck and then said, does he say fuck again in this franchise? Because speaking about The Rock's career as an actor and also as a public figure, you think that he sort of has it both ways in this movie before realising what the next swing was going to be. I don't think he has it both ways. I think this is,

I'm guessing this is his introduction. It is. This feels like his introduction to the franchise. And I think the writers sort of had their way, but he didn't have any power because he's coming in. This is his first flick in this series. So Luke Hobbs in this iteration is a grittier, less family-friendly version.

And the thing with The Rock is he knows to increase your star power and your wealth and your hireability, you can flirt with the line a little bit and be a tough guy and be strong and be in violent flicks and that, but there's certain kind of rules to keep yourself family friendly,

to open yourself up to all markets. And I think once this movie ended, he started putting his foot down and rewriting Luke Hobbs' character to make it more Disney-fied, to fit in his Disney fired. Yeah. To fit in his career. I think,

you know, obviously if we know the move, if we know the franchise is shifting from the more narrow audience of street racing to being like, everyone can access a heist film. We're also introducing the rock to the franchise, which is a get for the franchise and for the rock. I'd put them on probably level pegging.

which is a get for the franchise and for the rock i'd put them on probably level pegging it feels like this was a vine from which he swung to having a much bigger career as a movie star and being a much more recognizable figure this is probably around the time of the tooth fairy i would argue he there's a big fight scene between vin diesel and the rock and as soon as i started fighting i said check the contracts boys it's going to end in a draw. I would argue that Vin wins that fight. He wins it by having the power to actually kill The Rock by striking him in the face with a socket wrench or whatever. But he instead strikes the ground. Which actually isn't revealed.

So what we see is, this is the only time I've ever seen this, but Dom Toretto sort of loses his cool. Yeah. And starts really wailing on The Rock. yeah and uh then we see him pick up a socket wrench which is actually referenced earlier because luke hobbs has his file and it's like you're just a guy who smashed someone in the face yeah there's someone with a socket wrench so this is kind of like a nice sort of bit of foreshadowing to this moment and he grabs the socket wrench and you just see him slam it down and you kind of hear the sound you're like holy shit he just killed luke hobbs with a socket wrench yeah but then

we change shot to actually see what's happened it's revealed that he strikes the concrete floor right next to his head and leaves an almighty dent yeah and then you go wow if that was three inches to the left that would have been that police of officers head that's caved in yeah would have been that police officer's head caved in. Yeah, would have been gone burgers. But don't, I mean, tell me if I'm wrong. Do you think that... Do you remember when Jim Hickey said come burgers on TV? Yeah. Well, the rain and the wind have gone burgers

and the sun and the good times have come burgers. There was a New Zealand weather presenter, a legendary figure who presented the weather for a long long time and he had it quite irreverent he had quite an irreverent and colloquial style I think

it was Jeremy Wells who probably put a big highlighter over it it was clocked it was on a satirical news show called Eating Media Lunch and it was like a

recap episode at the end of the year reflecting on highs and lows for the New Zealand media and I think the lead in line for it was Jim Hickey's Sexy Sandwich and then it was

The Soundbite. Wow that's good memory right there I worshipped that show. That show was incredible. Well that show was before YouTube and so it was honestly because with hindsight they were basically aping uh the

day-to-day and brass eye in terms of that hard satire style yes but because as new zealanders who i was a young teen i didn't have access to the the vhs or whatever files to to know what they were referencing it was an introduction to that style it was it was it hit so hard and differently because it was like you've never seen anything like it you don't have a ramp in where you're like oh they're just copying that because if you when you check back to the start you know the day-to-day was actually a visual representation of on the hour which was a satirical radio news show which was softer and so when you go and the brits have got quite a good lineage of satirical if you go through the three you know

progressions you can see how you wind up at Brass Eye but if you're in New Zealand and you're just seeing an adaptation of Brass Eye with New Zealand characters you think

well this is fucking unlike anything that's been on our TV that's true although we did kind of like that's because of when we grew up because I feel like

sort of the Fred Dagg character and you know like there were some people doing a sort of thing like that but then it sort of stopped when fred dag character and yeah you know like there were there were some people doing a sort of thing like that but then it sort of stopped when we were growing up but fred dag had a um yeah i mean clark and doors was more unflinching but it was the it was like the

you know fred john clark was a new zealander by the way he did did very good satirical comedy and New Zealand sort of wasn't big enough for it. So he moved to Australia and made that his home and he made really fantastic telly. Absolutely. But there was still a smiling heart at the core of Fred Dagg, less so Clarke and Dawes. Whereas with Brass Eye and Eating Media Lunch,

it was like, you had to know it was a joke, otherwise it was, you know, there's no winks. There's nothing to let you in. That's true. The dryer. I loved all of that.

I can't remember how we got into it. I was talking about The Rock. I just think he showed up skinny. I'm not saying he was out of shape. I think he showed up skinny and he botches a couple of his lines. He's given the same sort of quippy, sort of badass,

motor mouth, top cop cop sort of shtick that we come to really identify with Hobbes more specifically and sort of see him embody so totally in a way that if you saw someone else doing it, they'd be like, oh, they're kind of taking on the Rocks version of that. But we're literally watching this guy finding the character and finding his self-confidence as an actor. I wrote down some of the lines. It's hard to do. It was very challenging. guy finding the character and finding his his self-confidence as an actor yeah he said i've got i wrote down some of the lines it's hard to do it was very challenging and he's got all these

people who have been um playing alongside each other for quite a while now it's a hard thing to enter into he says although even then i've got a question mark over because we don't really know how many movies everyone's been in and if it's some people's first one maybe we never do I don't know he says this is someone because it says good news bad news and he says

you know I like my veggies first no you know I like my dessert first and so even that line then he says after he gets given the good news he says now give me the damn veggies

and these are like these are quintessential the rock lines but he's delivering them in a way which is like he's not quite oh he doesn't crush it and he says if he goes to the john i want to know he's talking about surveilling someone tracking someone if he goes to the john i don't know how many times he shakes

it even that i felt like honestly i know i have a long-standing theory that all films are made chronologically and i do feel to an extent like he found his feet as the movie progressed but it was very interesting to see The Rock not fully within himself as movie star The Rock, to see him as wrestler in a transitory state, as a wrestler becoming a movie star. Roger Ebert over here. Yeah, that's just what I think.

And I find it really interesting that he arrived from wrestling skinnier and then when he was a movie star became thicker.'s how fucked hollywood is i think truly yeah like to actually be as as in top fighting condition you're way smaller than you are to depict a strong person in a movie that's fucked hollywood hollywood depictions of strength is so like unhealthy now well there's shit about we've talked about it before on this i think but like how they um massively dehydrate themselves before shoot day yeah big muscly scene henry cavill was talking about henry cavill has talked about it um uh uh fucking what's his name

the australian guy thor oh hemsworth hemsworth has talked about it a few people have talked about it you gotta like muscle up to a ludicrous maddening point where you're probably depriving your body of like some essential carbohydrates or something 100 and then you can't drink it was him it was the henry cavill interview i remember where he was talking about how he could smell water that's how dehydrated he was we talked about this recently yuck it's no good it's no good well i gotta say it's an arms race isn't it it's a cold cold war thing it's a physical arms race as soon as someone looks tough on camera then it's like well we're gonna make our guy look even tougher and then someone's gonna get killed some of these actors there's not a doubt in my mind,

will have suffered kidney failure and we just don't know about it. Yeah. Like they are doing damage to their system. It's worth it, isn't it? Is it? Yeah, it's worth it. We got computers for this now. Do you know what they used back in the day?

They'd just bloody paint the abs on with some fucking, you know? You can do that at home. You can do that right now. We're running out of time. Oh, God, are we? I've got a slew of thoughts and notes, which are... They're just not going to be for today.

But that's okay because I'm... The energy I've brought to this watch and this conversation is... It's mine. And it feels true. And it feels like an energy that will be easy to access the next time i watch this movie because i loved it i think there was so much to enjoy i just feel like it's the first time and i'll be interested to watch the ones before it that the movie's been

like this is what we are do you know what we should have with this you know what we should have done we should have rated each movie out of the number it was yeah well for me it's five out of five huge i'll give this four stars earnestly that's big i don't think it's going to stay there but today it gets four stars and what was your shining light? my shining light was again it comes back to the more tactile sort of I think to see

it feels more physically first of all there were too many there are too many bullets in this movie okay there's so much I enjoy but what I'm going to take as the shining light today is there's a in the early action sequence which we described before they drive the car off the cliff and have to jump off and land in the water brian is fighting a guy in like

a is in a desert buggy and they're having a fight very mad max it's very very mad max and before that we've seen to break into one of the train carriages they've had to use blow torches and when they're fighting the guy he's fighting picks up a blow torch and starts holding it next to his head like it's a weapon like he's going to blow torch him and i thought the decision for this for this movie to use a blow torch as a threatening weapon i was like fuck that is scary yeah and brian's right there and he's trying to avoid getting his face burned off and i mean this movie made me miss Paul Walker. I think the further back we go, the more I'm going to learn to miss Paul Walker. And realize what a singular talent he was.

We get to enjoy him. I know. We get to experience the enjoyment of his body of work. Yeah. But so for me, that decision, that blowtorch is a weapon. It sort of helped set a tone for the way in which I could sympathize. I couldn't quite empathize. I've never been threatened with a blowtorch, but I...

You haven't lived. The way in which these characters were in peril and the way that the action sequences were scripted and choreographed and executed felt rooted in a reality close enough to my own that I could feel genuinely scared and worried for and invigorated by these sequences and these actors. Well, now I've got two shining lights. My first one is that I'm going to get to threaten Guy with a blowtorch to the face at some point.

And then if anyone questions me about it, himself included, I'll just say, it's a new experience, baby. I'm just introducing you to one of the new fruits of the world. I'm all for it. Put it in do you think if we had a physical fight would we have to get a contract negotiation the way that rock and vin diesel which said it has to end in a tie and instead it went with you on top of me blow torching like my silhouette man you and i coming to blows would be some shit has seriously gone wrong so much has broken down there's some other people I could definitely get in a scrap with, but I just couldn't imagine.

That's why you'll lose. You've got significant reach on me, dude. You would be like, you're about four inches taller than me, I think. I woke up to a thread, so an old snort thread, just like probably 12 people who got into it. Snort's guy's guys improv group because he's really cool yeah it's sort of it's it's winding down but just woke up and it was like nick samson where he's a friend he's been on the he will have been on the podcast he's he's very funny

comedian he lives in the uk now i'm going to send a message saying um hey sorry guys i was out for dinner with alice my fiancee and um we ranked and it came out that i could beat all of you in a fight and they started this huge conversation about who in the improv group would win a physical fight and then he sent a screenshot of a list like i woke up all of this was i had to catch on a screenshot of a list of the ranking of where people would finish in the fight yeah i was dead last oh with a guy called eddie david and i was like what the fuck is this i i cannot believe i'm waking up to this i couldn't disagree more and nick said yes sorry guy alice said that you and eddie run into

each other and knock each other unconscious before the fight even starts where was joseph moore on the ranking? Bottom of the middle. How many people were on there? I'd say 12. That's devastating for you, dude. I just disagree. I think they underestimate me. I grew up fighting my older sister,

who was bigger than me and stronger. Yeah, it takes a bit of the sting out when it's sister. All right. Have you met her? True. No, that's fair and actually you do forget that with how puberty works when you're a kid like an older sister will beat the fuck out of you fucking night um so what you okay all right we don't need to kind of keep going down that so your shining light is the knowledge that you can hold a blowtorch to my head that's the first one yeah that's right

the second one was Dwayne the Rock Johnson telling a cop that he had a nice smile aye and that's just before he says the word fuck

for I believe the first and last time in the franchise so that'll about do it for us there's a lot to look forward to a lot to look forward to

thank you so much and if they haven't already the exciting journey into the second season of and just like that, Guy and I have been watching them. We've been talking about them. And you can get all of them first and in video format on our Substack,

twioat.substack.com. It costs five US dollars a month and empowers the operation because we hired an editor now. So basically, it mainly pays for stuff like him. This is what podcasts do. Yeah, you're supposed to get a guy. You get a guy.

Brendan's our guy and he's fucking sensational. So when you start seeing cool... I met him. He lives in America. Yeah, I saw him at a gig in New York. He was a fantastic guy. When you start seeing that That content popping up

You'll know We have him to thank And I'm really excited about this And just like that season I'm actually For how much I enjoyed Fast Five today I would argue I'm probably enjoying the TV show

As much If not more And it's been a journey folks That wasn't the case the whole time But you'll have to listen to find out They're coming out soon Anyhow You got anything else to say Tim?

No I want to say Fucking get out there Touch grass Kick a ball around Meet some friends Yeah Alfresco style And if you're living in the northern hemisphere

Please soak up The final Probably long tail Of your Too hot summer I think the The new peak of summer Is actually going to be

After the peak of summer Yes actually going to be after the peak of summer, which is known as now. Bye. Bye. 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.