The Worst Idea Of All Time - 37: Bestiality

Episode Date: April 29, 2019

"By and large, it was nice having you there" such was the beginning of perhaps, the boiz most contentious episode yet. This 37th watch quickly veers hard into probing questions about forming a romantic relationship with a non-human. Castaway is too long, a lesser known Willie Nelson hit is mentioned and Guyguy is impressed by Miranda's ability to act like a human inside of this film. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

we just have a good rhythm together you know like he sort of feels me out i feel him out and uh we go for it hello and welcome to episode 37 of the worst idea of all time um season four sex in city one 37 watch you do the math. I'm going to refuse to do the math. Yeah, the numbers add up. Look, what can you say? Tim, we're sitting next to each other. It was nice. No, it wasn't.

You don't have to lie to me. No, it was. You're trying to scare my feelings. We weren't it wasn't. You don't have to lie to me. No, it was. You're trying to spare my feelings. We weren't super focused. And you don't have to. But by and large, it was nice having you there. By and large, it was nice having you there. What an insincere sentiment.

That's sincere. It's just loaded with qualifiers. If I'd said, that was great, I really enjoyed myself, that would be insincere. I see. What I said was truthful, euphemistic perhaps, sure,

but honest. It's nicer when you're there. What is there left for us here? Well, at the very least, 15 more screenings. It seems a lot. It seems like a lot of time.

Do you feel like we've broken the back of it? Well, by the numbers we have, but it's around here. Well, we always say this, but it's around here that things get really, really difficult. Do you know what this feels like? This feels like when you're fighting the boss in a video game or say even like in anything when you're fighting you know the offers when you are scrapping with your your manager the most recent example derrick i have is when you're uh in dungeons and dragons when you're playing this mat you know this massive beast and you get a good hit on it and you're like that should sort it out roll a natural 20 oh yeah and then the and then like it takes a hit a

glancing hit and it just keeps attacking and you're like no no hold on yeah and then the and then like it takes a hit a glancing hit and it just keeps attacking and you're like no no hold on yeah that's what it feels like where it's like i know statistically we've done the bulk of the legwork but to look at the film you don't feel that it looks unblemished it's like oh my god what else it's a fembot from austin powers yeah why won't you die he gets them in the end, though, and I think this movie will defeat us. Well, I guess they get him because Vanessa turned out to be a fembot the whole time.

We will defeat it. We're Austin Powers in this analogy, and that feels very strange. But we are dinged up. Can I ask you a question? Do I make you hor question? Do I make you horny? You do make me horny, Tim.

I tried to nuzzle into you during this watch. I leant over the two chairs and I grabbed your arm and I leant my head on your arm and you did not like it. I didn't. Why not? Because this movie agitates me. Was I agitating you? I don't know. It's it's a maelstrom of

hate for this film isn't it i thought inside of it uh i thought that a sense of camaraderie or affection physical uh intimacy would endear ourselves to one another and perhaps the movie to us as a unit and again drove drove us all further apart You write it down on paper. You do the math. What you're saying makes sense. And yet, nah, I wasn't having it. Whose phone's gone off? I think that's mine. That is yours. What's happening?

Oh, my mum's calling me. Oh, okay. What are you going to do about that? I'm just going to let it go. That's the worst of all available actions. You hang up on it. You could take it. Whatever it takes to get the vibrating to stop.

It's gone. Fantastic. This movie's got me riled up. She was calling me up to say, I love you, boy. I love you, boy. But what are you doing with Carrie? No. I think, do you know that my parents have just written this whole thing off?

In what way? it's like yeah they don't care either way they no longer bother to be confused or frustrated it'd be like if you came out as gay now in Utah they're like this is not great but we'll kind of love them anyway is that what's happening in Utah

no I don't actually know how Mormons feel about same-sex relationships and homosexuals. Not sure. That's why this movie's got you in such fits that you're throwing out analogous examples you have no baseline of information on. None. That's good. That means you're running your mouth.

That means you're in a reckless position. Oh, okay. Let's use this. Okay. That's good. That means you're running your mouth. That means you're in a reckless position. Oh, okay. Let's use this. Okay. What do you think about same-sex relationships? I'm pro. I'm pro all relationships.

All of them. Animals are supposed to get together. I mean, humans are. We are animals that are supposed to get together. Are you condoning bestiality? No. No, I'm not condoning it. You're on a desert island. You form an emotional bond with a dolphin who is circling the island

your only companion dolphins are an interesting one you develop some form of communication whereby you can't articulate exactly how you're feeling but you can communicate positive and negative energy they know if you're having a good day or a bad day you can wade into the water and when they swim past

you can like you into the water and when they swim past you can like you know stroke them touch them you form some sense of physical intimacy one day a hug in the ocean lasts half a beat longer than you thought it might the dolphin sort of sidles on up to you and picks you with its bottlenose in a way you hadn't experienced before. Uh-huh. What's your move? Hmm. You've been there for two years. Probably not going to have sex with a dolphin. For two years?

It's beautiful storytelling. I want to indulge you, but I've just... It's hard to put yourself in the mindset of someone who's been on an island by themselves for two years. You have no... There's no promise of ever leaving this island. You will die here. Yeah, I just don't think having sex with a dolphin is like a, it's like saying I'm thirsty, I need water,

so I'm going to, you know, fucking smack myself in the face with a coconut. It's like the two things don't match up. Yeah, I kind of understand what you're saying the two things don't match up yeah i kind of understand what you're saying if you don't if you don't return the kiss this dolphin will be emotionally wounded that's okay and leave i'm all right with emotionally wounding a dolphin just be you versus um trying to engage in what i'm i'm assuming at this point if i'm interpreting a nuzzle from a dolphin as a kiss i think I've probably lost my mind.

And I would not want to give my own brain the benefit of the doubt that I'm correctly reading the romantic signals from a porpoise. You're not... I don't know if it's a... It's a mammal, isn't it? But you're not as far out... Who are porpoises? I thought they were like dolphins. They're different animals. Are they? You're not as far out there as I thought right now. I think I brought you back. Would you fuck a dolphin guy?

Porpoises are a group of fully aquatic marine mammals, all of which are classified under the family for canate, I can't say that, toothed whales. There are seven extant species of porpoises. They're small toothed whales, and they are very closely related to oceanic dolphins. Oh, but they're not dolphins. They look similar, though.

Guy Montgomery, would you fuck that dolphin? For the sake of... No, no, no, no. Throw your qualifier out the window. I was going to say, for the sake of my own horniness, absolutely. Yeah? No. Fucking ride or die this dolphin, man.

I don't think I... Stand behind it. I don't think I would. And fuck it. Had you answered differently, would I have answered differently? Have I created an unsafe space for you to out yourself as a dolphin fucker? Yes. If you were on a desert island for two years by yourself.

Look. Okay. All right. Well, let's go down. The sands of time will play tricks on a man tim the likes of which we cannot know exactly and i can't put myself in the mindset of myself as a lonely of two years person on desert island you will get really messed up in the head though if you didn't see anyone for two years. You get fucking free key. I can barely go a day. We're not built for it.

We are not built for it. Some people are. I reckon you could go long... I think you and Rufus, your beloved dog, if you didn't see anyone, but you and Rufus wound up spending a year, it was just the two of you.

I'm going to fuck my dog? No. Is that where you're going with this? No. I was going to say, I reckon you'd still be tethered to reality. You would be mentally sound by the end of the year. You have some sort of companionship.

That's like what Castaway's about, right? He just imbues the volleyball. I've not seen it. I was going to say a good movie. Does he fuck the volleyball? He doesn't. He does not. Do you see him masturbate at all in that movie?

No. It's not that kind of movie, Guy. Do you see him masturbate at all in that movie? No. It's not that kind of movie, Guy. Do you think he would? It's Tom Hanks, the man's beloved. He's not going to throw away his career just for a bit of realism. Needless realism. That doesn't add to the story. It's not addressed.

Masturbating? No. No, the storyteller, and I can't remember who wrote and or directed the film, didn't think that that was an important part of the narrative. What is important is that they made the movie about a third more than it needed to be. Should have just been roll credits when he leaves the island. Written by William Broyles Jr. Directed by the great Robert Zemeckis.

Back to the Future fame. Oh, look at that. Look at that look at that now Sex and the City let me pick your brain what was your favourite moment from this film well funny as you say actually do you know

it's interesting one of the few things that are keeping me engaged is that the sort of oscillations in my relationship to miranda who she i reckon is holding pretty steady in her opinion of me but i mean and i would never say this to her face i cannot get a read on her lately uh and this week after like quite a few outings of not really getting along i was sort of found her to be quite good company not am i

saying charlotte i meant miranda i felt miranda i didn't even know what you were saying yeah you know i mean of course you do um and so he just kissed me by the way that's what that pause was my favorite moment was this isn't my shot this was just a favorite moment the scene between Miranda and Carrie it doubles as an ad for Pret a Manger when Miranda she's recently had to do some listening and self reflection

and take responsibility for some of the shortcomings in her relationship with Steve not out loud but much like Tom Hanks and the popular Robert Zemeckis movie from 2000 Cast Away it is suggested that he's been masturbating and she's been thinking and um that's also a famous willie nelson song he's been masturbating she's been thinking yeah one of his all-time greats um and she's talking to car about it, and she says, and Carrie, for maybe the first time I've seen,

is actually offering advice and valuable insight into someone else's life. She's asking questions. She's listening to answers. She's genuinely engaged in a conversation in a way that we do not see very often. We certainly don't see represented when the group are hanging out as a foursome, and Miranda, in turn, is listening and responding, we certainly don't see represented when the group are hanging out as a foursome and uh miranda in turn is listening and responding and it's a genuine display of humanity like it's one of the few times that the way a conversation when you know like the way that a semi-decent conversation functions

and it's not like a particularly engrossing conversation but just the fact that it resembles anything that might happen in someone's day-to-day life. To me, I was like, this is incredible. And I respected both characters in that moment for it. And that is supported by what was my actual shining light, which was earlier in the film when they're doing the fashion parade in Carrie's old walk-in wardrobe.

And I hate to measure it against another woman woman but that is sort of what we're trapped in by reviewing this movie charlotte's performance always bothers me because it feels to me like kristen davis has i don't know if it's a character decision or an acting decision but charlotte's got one face where she sort of draws her cheeks and then puckers it like and pouts and puckers and she's got fantastic cheekbones, sure, but it's like she always defers back to this look. And I'm always like, just any variety. And Cynthia Nixon in her performance as Miranda

makes big, bold risks. She commits. She does one as like a tiger. She does one where she does a funny face and she waggles her fingers like she's telling someone off. And there's a real joy in that. It's really nice to see um commitment to the performance in a movie that it doesn't feel like everyone commits the same

like it does the the level of commitment and acting varies from you know actor to actor scene to scene like there's no it's not even watch to watch and watch to watch yeah it's not even handed and she really brought it to this scene it was a joy to watch confident performing uh it was just great she showed range and i think the same when i'm watching any you know when i'm watching anything i like seeing it's what if you've ever if you've done an acting class or even you know if you when you're learning to do comedy and you get advice, it's like you have to really commit. You're going to look a lot more stupid if you half-ass it

than if you just fully commit. And to me, Miranda fully committed in that scene, and Charlotte didn't. Hearing you talk about the movie like this, with this much earnest real film critique is it's like watching someone trying to build a you know watchmakers people who make watches yeah and they have the little monocle that magnifies stuff by like hundreds of times so they can see the little cogs and they've got their very delicate little tweezers because they're dealing with so many

tiny tiny moving parts that click together it's like you watching you trying to build a watch from play-doh do i have the technical ability to get a watch made if given the right materials i think you probably do but you have Play-Doh right now. But what you're watching is... But you're bringing the laser focus required to deal with steel-fashioned cogs. A real pinnacle of human mechanical engineering, and you're using the medium of Play-Doh with those skills.

What do you think of my notes? I agree with them. Sure. And that's the end of the sentence. Well, what did you like? I liked Miranda's hair in one part of the movie. It is after her and Steve... one part of the movie it is after her and steve i get uh uh oh no it's when they are at the couples counseling session she's got great hair you do like shine a light on that hair because

it is my shining light shine a light and shine a light now i brought to your attention a moment that you hadn't noticed before and this is a rarity when you get into the late 30s folks uh something i've noticed for man literally dozens of watches i noticed it real early on i see it every time it's the scene where lily picks up the cell phone it's the night before the wedding that all gals sleep over get some sleep grooming shout out charl out Charlotte. And Carrie's phone rings. Lily picks it up. And she says, sex, to answer the phone. Which is, I think, a brilliant way to start phone calls.

And I might start opening my telephone conversations thusly. Sex. But if you look closely, don't look at Lily. They want you to look at lily the man is directing your attention toward lily what you want to be looking at zuckerberg wants you to watch lily you want to be watching carrie bradshaw because carrie bradshaw is coaching this young child actor i think into the line and when lily fucking nails it not Carrie Bradshaw but Sarah Jessica Parker appears briefly on screen

to look directly down the barrel of the camera as if to say I did not expect her to nail it this good and it was a take so good they had to put it in the movie even though SJP stares at you. It's a delight she barrels the camera and before that you see her saying pick it up, say something, and then she whispers

as though she's about to say, say sex. But the performance starts then. She says sex, and Carrie, in disbelief, just barrels the camera, and the Kirby Enthusiasm theme music plays. It's really great, and honestly, it's nice to see, because otherwise, as always, scouring this movie for continuity errors. There's only one we know of, right?

Yeah. In fact, I would describe the whole thing as a continuity area, because the continuity in this area is perfect. The continuity era, which we have mentioned before, is, of course, when they're at the restaurant in Mexico and Charlotte orders a bottle of water. She wipes the edge of the bottle before she takes a sip so there's no Mexican germs on it

because she is an ignorant racist. And then we flash back to the bottle after that moment and there is a cap on it. She's wiping the part of the bottle that's under the cap with a tea towel that has been washed in Mexico. I mean, if her fear is true, she'd be best to just leave it. Of course, but nothing she's doing

makes any fucking sense. Yeah, I feel bad for her. She's also eating... Kristen Davis was given a bunch of eggs to suck in this movie. She's eating chocolate pudding 24-7 instead of rolling the dice on five-star accommodation food.

You know? What seems like a healthier, safer decision for stuff to put in your body and she pays the price for that she sure does by shitting her pants if you forgot i don't know how often this makes it to the mic but tim and i are constantly taking issue with the notion that carrie bradshaw is a professional writer because we don't see her do a lot of writing and this week i figured out that the only evidence of her putting pen to paper or digits to digits. Does that work?

Sure. Digits, fingers to digits. I bet she was like a pinky in the brain, brain kind of. I was imagining digits to keyboard. Okay. I don't know. You put it together, folks. Come on, guys.

Come with me. It was at the very end, in a voiceover, like all the other voiceovers, I honestly don't understand, and I know you don't mean to overthink it, and we take this because it exists in the TV show, but I don't understand their relationship to whether or not they're,

and I think in the TV show, they were her articles, maybe. Oh, the narration? Yeah, but in the movie, it's just nonsense. It's just narrative device it's lazy storytelling and uh you know she's this weird omnipresent omniscient narrator with you know nothing to actually add like different words they're the same they got the same meaning but they're different words but yeah it's interesting it's an interesting device to put

into a movie to have someone who sees everything but does nothing with the information it doesn't it's it's hard to kind of figure out in a way i guess what's another movie that uses a narrator um that one about the tax man who finds out he's writing his own life or something stranger Stranger than fiction? Yeah, nice one. Nice one, dude. I'm not... I guess if you haven't watched something 37 times, it's hard to compare it to something you have watched 37 times. A lot of children's movies used to have narration

because it was like a storybook. I don't know how the use of it in Sex and the City measures up to the ordinary use of narration, but I know that it's starting to get on my nerves. But the only evidence that she's put anything down on paper is she's doing a reading at a bookstore. Right at the end. Right at the end.

And she says, this is all we hear from her. So this is the result of two years work and the most romantically... No way you've got this memorized. ...interpersonally tumultuous part of her... Are you going to try and do this? Two years of what should be very prosperous, you know, professional times.

There's a lot of fertile ground for her to work with. As it can be for some comedians, I think. You know, if life's going well, they find it hard to mine for source material. But if things go wrong, you've got a wealth of stuff to draw on. But she says, and as I put the wedding gown away,

I couldn't help but wonder why is it that we're willing to write our own vows but not our own rules tim if i gave you a five hundred thousand dollar advance to write a book and you went away for two years got jilted at the aisle wound up remarrying the same person who jilted you, and the return from that $500,000 two-year investment was, and as I put the wedding gown away, I couldn't help but wonder, why is it that we're willing to write our own vows but not our own rules? I mean, I don't know what legal protocol in this situation is,

but I would not be happy with that investment. What do you think? I think you would be well within your rights to murder me and take the money back. Yeah? Yeah. Especially if you saw... Put a silver bullet in my brain for this injustice.

If I saw your refurbished, redecorated home slash home office. Actually, do you know what? This is just the kind of situation that I would enjoy transpiring in real life because you are taking the piss to such an extreme. You've become one of those unstoppable people, you know, who just kind of go through life and things get flung at them and they're just completely unaffected by what other people's thoughts or feelings are. Do you respect that?

It is impossible for me to be completely divorced from being impressed by that kind of mentality. Yeah, I understand what you're saying. I can't help but be a little bit impressed by it. It seems, yeah, well within your wheelhouse to be impressed by someone. It's a funny character type, but it is a devastating real-life human being.

Yeah. Funny in stories, bad in the world. Yeah. You can't go around thinking that your actions shouldn't be made divorced of thought from how it affects others. And yet some people operate like that, and it's impressive.

That is how... That's what sociopaths do, right? Yeah. It that and it's impressive that is how that's what sociopaths do right yeah it's like it's all in their best interests there's a there's a deficiency well actually i don't know i don't know what it's like it's a psychological term that i i don't know the definition the medical definition i'm the same but i i feel like carrie if not a sociopath does does exist divorced from reality. Yeah. She's got no... She seems narcissistic. Yeah, absolutely.

At least a bit. And yeah, she's got no notion of empathy. One of those people who, if they shine their light on you, you feel like the entire world is burning bright on you and you feel fantastic. And then when they turn their back on that... I think that's a real hallmark of narcissism it's kind of damaging people because they're often quite um charismatic yeah and they'll kind of it's that old treat him mean keep him keen thing where there'll be massive dicks to everyone 90 of the time and just drip feed that

little 10 of nice out so that to keep you the hook. Do you think that they used the word charismatic at any point during the Sex and the City series? Definitely. It's irresistible, isn't it? It's just sitting on the shelf for you, folks. And they love a pun in this show. We know this about Mattress Pikelet. The TV series, I think, way more than the movies. It was lousy with puns.

You couldn't get rid of them. I was recently told that until the end of season four, Sex and the City is and remains prestige television. How recently did you hear this news? Last weekend. From a reliable source? From Sex and the City fans. That wasn't a yes or a no.

So let's remove that they're fans of Sex and the City, otherwise reliable source. Yes, but why would we remove that? That seems to me like the most relevant piece of information. Well, it's sort of self-defeating. If they're fans. Hey, the new Marvel movie is really good. Who told you that?

A fan of that movie. Okay. No, not of that movie. You can be a fan of the Marvel franchise and say, I thought the last movie sucked. Oh, I see. And I trust your fandom. Okay. No, not of that movie. You can be a fan of the Marvel franchise and say, I thought the last movie sucked. Oh, I see. And I trust your fandom. Okay, okay.

So, sorry. They're discerning fans. I see. Who have enough separation from the franchise to say, yeah, these seasons were good. At this point, I lost interest and it became bad. Oh, I see. How many seasons are there?

Six. Ah. My apologies to you, guy. Don't apologize to me. Apologize to the fans Apologise to the fans. I apologise to the fans. Like that? Yeah, yeah.

Is that how you do an apology? Pitch perfect, my friend. Let's check in with Steve. Because we haven't in a couple of episodes, and I would love to know what's happening with him, that he has to make a clean getaway in one of those beautiful bumblebee yellow new york cabs oh yeah he doesn't want to bother those people he sure doesn't he sure looks disheveled but he must something's happened yeah why would you go to the people

who least want to see you in your moment of greatest need he's lost his bitcoin he kept it on cold storage he had on a usb key you know he bought it ages ago when it was 18 a coin and now he's he's got like a hundred coins he just bought them on a whim it's it's worth like half a million dollars now but he's fucking lost the usb key they're just on like a little flash drive they're on a flash drive and the irony is he put them on there because he didn't want to trust chucking them online because he thought someone might hack his account but he's lost the fucking usb key what do you think first of all of the security measure of keeping your bitcoin on a flash drive yeah brilliant do it everyone should do it everyone should be in bitcoin

our one libertarian listener will definitely back me on this. Leverage into Bitcoin, put it on a single USB drive. That's the way to live. And so Steve has lost his... He's lost it, and it's worth so much money now. It's pretty much... The bar isn't going well. I think it's important for you to know that also. In this moment, financially, like, he is in the hole the hole my guy but he's basically won the

lottery and lost his ticket yeah so he's trying to figure out if anyone's seen it's very awkward the way he shares the information does he say because we could wind up with the rat race type situation here does he say hey you guys haven't seen so he obscures the information so you guys haven't seen a eight gigabyte black kingston flash drive kingston usb on a like it's on a key ring with a lobster roll on it you haven't seen that around have you because i lost it and it's just got some important work stuff on it or to really motivate people to have to find it, does he say, hey, you haven't seen the same USB on the same key ring because it kind of has a hundred bitcoins on it and I kind of need that.

You would definitely go with the former rather than the latter. You would not reveal the fact that there was a half million dollar ticket. Why does he look so concerned? Why would he turn to these people if all he's lost is a bit of work stuff? Well, people's work stuff is all relative to them, isn't it? It's like, they still like Steve.

Your own shit's important to you. It has no value to them except for the value that it has to Steve. So what that does is... But these are not empathetic. As established time and again, these are not characters who have a natural proclivity towards sympathising and feeling

and caring for others. On the whole, you're correct, but I also think you are painting everyone with the Carrie Bradshaw brush. They're not all as bad as her. Charlotte, a lot more empathetic. Can you please grade? So I'm going to do the main four

and their partners. Would that I could. From least empathetic to most empathetic. Least first, okay. So we're shouting down to the most empathetic character. The least empathetic is Carrie Bradshaw and Senor Grande. All right? They're at the top or bottom of the list.

I don't know what direction we're going in. We're going down. Least empathy, I guess we're at the top. We're in list. I don't know what direction we're going in. We're going down. The least empathy, I guess, we're at the top. We're in the penthouse apartment, which they also occupy. Next. You don't have to bracket them as couples, by the way. Some people can. Oh, just everyone.

You may put them on runs. Yeah. So it could be like, you know. Here we go. Sitting in the penthouse apartment is Carrie Bradshaw. Just below her, it's Samantha Jones. Below that, Senora Grande. Okay.

Below that, Miranda. Yep. Then, now, here's where it gets interesting. It actually goes Smith. Okay. Then Steve. Is Charlotte in here yet? Not yet.

You've left Harry and Charlotte. Harry and then Charlotte. I think Charlotte is the most affected by other people. Wow. I think I fucked up Charlotte, actually. I think I'd chuck her a little higher, but not too much. Apart from that, I stand by my waiting. I kind of agree.

And do you know for how annoying I find Charlotte, we can't take that away from her she cares about other people i mean that she's the only person in this movie who feels real at like true emotion on behalf of someone she is absolutely furious at big in that scene when they get in their respective wedding cars when carrie struck her with the flowers you know the way that the friends treat miranda is really upsetting. Yeah. Because I feel like Charlotte does extend some of her empathy towards Miranda in the Steve situation.

But, you know, like... Adultery within a pre-existing marriage, it's not on the same scale, possibly, of spectacle in terms of public humiliation as a jilting. That's fucking interesting. I know it's... I don't know.

Is it apples and oranges? How do you compare the two? Well, I think in terms of emotional turmoil, they're on even footing. But I don't think so. I don't agree with that. What's worse? The jilting. The jilting's worse than adultery?

I think so, yeah. Why? Because of the spectacle element. I think, yeah. Public humiliation is huge. And so the fallout from that is great. I think I've said this before, but it's always fascinated me. You know when you see someone fucking nail themselves on the pavement?

And their first instinct is always to like they will put all of their bodily energy into looking normal as quickly as possible yeah they could have a fucking broken bone they could have just dislocated their shoulder but their instinct won't be oh my god i better stop and check myself and like it's to look around see how many eyewitnesses there are and quickly get yourself to like a darkened corner to assess yourself to make a decision it's fucking it is a it's a deep human thing that public humiliation element okay well so even with this information even with the knowledge that the jilting maybe has you know more emotional fallout, relatively speaking, for Carrie than the adultery does for Miranda. The way in which the friends respond and rally around Carrie,

who is, by all accounts, a selfish, self-centered person who does not have any dependence, versus how they respond to Miranda, who tells them all that her marriage, the person with whom she shares responsibility and custody of a child, a real person, it's like, it's eons. Like, the way they respond to Carrie,

they pour shit. Oh, yeah, definitely, definitely. Like, the footing that Miranda has in the friendship and the way that she is treated. She is a dog. She is a rabid dog means that she i don't know if this is right i don't know if i can say it but almost deserves if she doesn't have the fucking you know level of emotional insight to be like hey

pull finger here guys i'm in a real fucking situation and you're my closest friends i need you to support me right now. I'm going to gloss over the fact that you are literally victim blaming right now inside of this devastating friendship circle. But, you know, you were right to say this is a thought I'm having that I don't think is right. But for the good of entertainment, let me air it and we'll see how it goes. The thing is, I think Miranda is, I'll meet you a quarter of the way to where you are because I think she's her own worst enemy in this way. She is a woman who exudes personal strength

and often those people, the people around them will go, well, this person doesn't need my support. Yeah, they've got their own coping mechanisms and will leave those to run their course. She's strong enough to weather the storm and it's like she is your fucking friend yeah the real display of strengths for her now would be to say i need you guys because even if you think about in mexico when she gets absolutely fucking poleaxed for not being

not having a bikini wax yeah man samantha puts her on such an intense blast that cyclops from the x-men i know it's obvious that miranda is going through something because she immediately takes the information that's being thrown at her and you know refers it to the demise of her marriage so it's like wow you are still reeling from this like anything that we say to you i mean there's quite a specific material attack on the way she looks, but it's like, she goes, oh, so this is why my marriage fell apart? She walks away, Carrie, Queen fucking B, goes, hey, I think we should go for dinner at the restaurant tonight. Single most fucked moment in the film, which is by no means like a glossary of how to behave as a human. The film is bad.

That is a rare moment that is just a cut above everything in terms of the psychopathic. No one goes after Miranda, presumably who's going to, you know, wait down her swimming costume and pumps and walk into the fucking sea. It's like, hey, we should go out. You know what? I'm ready for us to go to dinner together. It is insane. It's nuts.

For no one to stop that making it into the film. Oh my God. They had a very wide berth. They were given a lot of rope. No one was quality controlling this because... I was about to say the horse is bolted and then I remembered that everyone used to make fun of Sarah Jessica Parker for looking like a horse.

Do you remember that period of time? It was mean, wasn't it? Yeah. I forgot all about that. Funny story from Chris Parker of the male gaze fame about when he noticed all of the guys in his class were putting pictures of sexy women underneath the lids of their desk, and so in a panic to try and fit in with this train,

guys, he put a picture of Sarah Jessica. This is like prime Sex and the City. A picture of Sarah Jessica Parker, which is such a funny panic move. It's not that she's not beautiful, but it's just that she does not fit the teenage boy mold it's like she's she's yeah her beauty is not you know characterized in the way that teenage boys are doing performative arousal and masculinity there's some funny shit the approximation of tried to fit it like oh this is in the ballpark i'm pretty sure i've nailed it it's like no dude you've not i'm sorry to tell you oh man i feel like we got into some stuff today

um you did right you did right i think we're in a good zone give it give it a second you got more i want to ask you a question i will answer so honestly what do you think senor grande will do if he finds the usb key before steve oh he is the one person inside of this whole operation who might know what to do with it he's going to put it into his computer he's going to open up the folder that contains the files on the USB. He's going to see 100 BTC. T-C. B-T-C. B-T-C. He's going to be like, huh.

He's going to open up one of them. It's going to be a representation of a Bitcoin in a language or a piece of visual imagery that he doesn't understand. He's going to drag it to his trash can. He's going to open up the second Bitcoin. Same thing. He's never going to open them all at once.

He's going to do it individually to 100 Bitcoins until he drags them into the trash. He right-clicks on trash. He's got his finger on empty trash yeah steve comes in yeah senor grande says steve i found your usb someone had loaded it up with shit so don't worry i've cleared it for you you hear the sound of paper scrunching up the universal noise for empty trash can and steve like runs towards big as all of the bitcoin is wiped from the usb oh my god

what a good adventure why wasn't that an episode of sex in the city it's impossible to say steve big has to be one of the stupidest motherfuckers I've met in my entire fucking life. You're being a literacist. No, it's nothing to do with his literacy. It's everything to do with all around it. And to be honest, I feel like that moment is why Mr. Big starts,

or Senor Grande starts a book full of harebrained get-rich-quick schemes. Oh, he's trying to atone? It's all in service of helping Steveve fair enough who could blame him i'm so sorry steve yeah he's gone don't worry i'll fix this don't worry i'm a businessman i will fix this he is so underwater while steve is on mr big's computer just frantically trying to figure out how to you know if you can recover recently lost items from a trash can.

Mr. Big has opened his book and he's just sketching all sorts of fucking ideas in there. And the first one, it's half keyboard, half flute. How does that work? It's a flute board. So... You blow into it and however hard you blow... Oh, do you mean keyboard the instrument?

Yeah, yeah. That's an instrument that exists already and I think it's called a melodophone or something. You blow into the flute, and there are different chambers through which the air travels, and it hits different, like you have no control over what notes are being played. You just blow into it,

and it just, the wind goes wherever it goes. That's cool. Invite an element of chaos to your musical theory. Absolutely. That's the problem with Mr. Big's ideas. They're all underpinned by chaos theory. Yeah. A theory he does not understand.

Check it out. A wristwatch that is actually a random number generator. So you look at your arm to see what the time is and it tells you it's 72 past one. Oh, I'm late. He runs out of a window of his building. Yeah, man, and he's high up. He can't fly, or at least he couldn't,

were it not for his famous invention. A cape made of taxidermied birds. Check it out. Here's the theory. What can fly? Birds. What's awesome? Taxidermy.

Put it together. Taxidermy birds. The theory goes that the birds would retain their gift of flight and be able to sort of imbue you with their powers if you wear them like a jet pack. But the critical thing is, biggers paid no attention to why birds fly, just that they do.

There's a lot of physics involved to it. You've got flat wings. You can't just tape a bunch of birds together and hope for the best. Do you know there is return on investment here for us because the further we plummet into sex in the city the stronger the ties between sex in the city and sex in city to grow yeah and if nothing else in doing that we have achieved something there is a lot of story untold off the screen on the in the margins sex in city 1. Yeah. We need to flesh that out a little more, build that bridge to connect the two.

No, this is as good a place as any to leave it. If you're listening to this and you live in Sydney, please come along and check out my live show. It's called I Was Part of the Problem Before. We were talking about it. It's on at Giant Dwarf on May 4th, Saturday, May 4th, and Sunday, May 5th. And then the New Zealand Comedy Festival is happening right after that.

And Tim, you're doing your talk show. Yes, I am. Space Couch, ladies and gentlemen, a live comedy chat show with Disaster Radio, a man, a musician who I've loved for like 10 years. I've been a big fan of his. Disaster Radio on Spotify? Yeah, bro, you've got to believe it.

He is also Eyeliner. Anyway, get into it. He is also eyeliner. Anyway, go to littleempirepodcasts.com slash live and you get details on all these shows and more. Everyone has got a thing on the thing. Thanks for listening. We'll see you sooner than either of us would care to admit. It's very true and highly devastating. Good luck out there, everyone.

We just have a good rhythm together, you know. He sort of feels me out, I feel him out. And we go for it.