The Worst Idea Of All Time - 38: Flag Love

Episode Date: November 24, 2023

Another screening of Fast and Furious (aka Fast Four) and so much more to talk about! How would someone reading a newspaper after his conviction feel about Dom Toretto? In honour of this film's unguarded, unvarnished and dated dedication to Butt Women, the lads then discuss the uncanny valley of butts—including the crazy idea of a butt where the right cheek is next to the left cheek (but the left cheek is on the right). Tim is both amused and fascinated by a double flag situation in the top dog's office at the FBI, leading to discussion of the world's best flags. Meanwhile Guy is drawn towards the way both Dom Toretto (and Vin Diesel as an actor) struggle to drink a beer in a way that is sufficiently cool.Support us on Substack at twioat.substack.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Music Music Nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. Salt-N-Pepa's Shoop would be a good one to give to a choir, don't you think? Have a little orchestral sort of version. Children's choir? Children's choir. What do you think of like, you know,

it was sort of maybe a trope in certain trailers, but like, you know, children's choir singing Radiohead or the Beach Boys or something. What do you think of that sort of thing? Do you like it? I liked it when it first happened. It was like, wow, this is so affecting. But then it did get overplayed, didn't it?

And now if you heard one, if someone else... I feel like David Fincher leaned on it, and I feel like maybe Nolan leaned on it. If you heard one now, what would you think? Just like not in a movie. It's back. Yeah. That's what I'd think.

What's going on now? I'm tuned out. What's Hollywood up to? I like that we're making originals again. That's cool. Last time I had my finger on the pulse of music and soundtracks, I feel like it was all I can think about is like, I'm pretty sure it was the Guardians of the Galaxy movie

had the chain by Fleetwood Mac. It was like, you know, they found a formula that worked yeah and it held a lot of appeal to a lot of people which is all they wanted and then they over engineered it and now they suck shit like the rest of us and i am happy for that what the marvel cinematic universe specifically yeah they're really eating it at the moment I love it They're fucking up It's kind of a nice reminder that Humans are messy And it kind of felt like it got so algorithmic

It was like AI was just producing movies at us And it's like nah fuck you We're still unpredictable a little bit I think the way that fandom of pop culture Waxes and wanes If I think about it in comparison to sport, I suppose the intensity of fandom often ebbs and flows, but I do feel like people are much more attached,

true sports fans attach themselves with much more intensity to the franchise or the teams that they support than it is possible to do with an you know like an author or a director or even a band in some instances i think um you know like i think a sports fan will stay with the team through a dip in form or through several lean years and then put back right back up whereas i feel like say with a band if a band releases one or two bad albums all of a sudden it's not like

they're going to get it back it's like oh I used to love that band that band used to be good and if they come you'll go and see Weezer because you know there's a chance

they're going to play music from their first three or four albums yeah I sort of had a version of that with oh what are they called the Australian band

that does Polyester Girl Regurgitator Regurgitator. Regurgitator. Yes. How many albums have they put out? A few. I saw them live, and it's the worst live performance I've ever been to in my life.

At the King's Arms. RIP. A great venue that doesn't exist anymore. Disappointing. I've got a question for you. The death of that venue did deliver us Chloe Swarbrick into politics. Is that what inspired it?

Yeah, that's what inspired her to run for mayor when she was 20. Young. She thought, this is ridiculous. Someone should do something about this. I'm going to do something about this. Hard out. I will be mayor.

Wow. She's, you know, that's a nice match because she's actually good. She's good at being a politician. The Fast and, oh no, Fast and Furious is what we just watched. Fast, Furious, and I've got a question for you. At the end of this movie, spoiler warning, Dominic Toretto is arrested for a slew of crimes that he's committed,

not just in this film, but through his, I suppose, history in the Fast and Furious franchise. He's sentenced, is it to life or 25 years without the hope of parole he centers in a way where the judge says um you know there are mitigating circumstances and detective Brian O'Connor has told me about the good you've done but one good deed does not make up for you know history of bad ones a lifetime of bad so you're sentenced to we'll call it 25 years with no parole. And obviously as someone who's watched the movies and has learned to empathize with Dom,

this feels heavy handed. And so I'm interested in a thought experiment where we take a step back and we consider ourselves as just Joe Bloggs. Hi Joe Bloggs, I'm Dad. Hi Dad. I work as a janitor. I wake up in the morning, I have a cup of coffee, I read the newspaper.

And I'm reading about this guy, Dominic Toretto, who's been sentenced. It's a big get for the FBI. It's news. Yeah, front page of the LA Times, I reckon. Presumably. And I'm reading, here's what he's done, and he's got 25 years without a hope of parole. And I'm wondering, what's the temperature? Well, it depends what the media decides to focus

on because if it's the oil tanker theft that's such a weird like ye olde style crime to try and jack an oil tanker. I think if we read that if we would you know we'd be like that's actually you know it's obviously crazy but it's kind of cool and then the other crimes that he has been

tried for are all relating to interactions with massive drug kingpins. So there it's like, yeah, I guess he stole some property and destroyed some property and hurt some people. He didn't kill anyone, I think, canonically. Also, you might be able to hear what sounds like gunshots around us. It's fireworks. Yeah. It's fireworks, everybody. It's fireworks, everybody. It's fireworks season here in New Zealand.

You know what I say? Let them burn. Let them explode. You think that? Yeah. I'm in like the 1% of New Zealand that's pro-fireworks. I admire it. Do you experience any irritation?

Remy got quite upset on Guy Fawkes night. How was that for you? It's a great opportunity for him to learn that you can sleep through fireworks. Everything is a learning opportunity. Absolutely, I agree. And also that you can't control the volume of the world. That's it. That's true.

Airplugs. Would you put your little two-year-old in airplugs? Not earplugs. But in-ear ones. Yeah, yeah. You're freaky, man. I sat in them the other night. You're an adult.

For the opposite reason. We had a friend staying. They had a baby. Oh, yeah. Who's prone to cry. Yeah. Put the earplugs in. Problem solved.

Problem solved. They always fall out of my ears. Zoe's a good one for putting earplugs in. Problem solved. Problem solved. They always fall out of my ears. Zoe's a good one for putting earplugs in. She's given them to me a few times. Squeeze them tight, pop them in deep, and let them expand. You put some earplugs and a sleeping mask on. Yeah. Dead to rights.

You're in space. Far out. Do you want to go to space? You're literally not in the bed anymore. You're in space. Do you want to be in space one day? Would you do space tourism? It's probably within reach.

Conceptually very appealing. Seems remarkably wasteful. Yeah, no doubt. Unless you view it as the baby steps of an industry that'll get us to colonize space. I'm not going out there for that. I know myself. I'm going up up there for that. I know myself. I'm going up to space purely for selfish reasons.

You want to see the sights? Yeah, I do. And the sights are planet Earth from outside of it. It's pretty fucking navel-gazy, isn't it? It's a bit embarrassing. Take a good look, man. You're there. Hot air balloon.

You can make that argument for anything. Now we're talking. Blimps? Zeppelins? Blimps and Zeppelins. I don't know what happened. I felt like they had a real moment in the sun. You have one bad accident and suddenly you've got to ride off Zeppelins.

I was talking about this the other night. Titanic fucking sank. The great unsinkable ship went down in its maiden voyage. Did we go, oh, I guess ships are no good? No. We dusted ourselves off and got back on the horse that is using ships. They should have done the same thing with blimps after the Hindenburg, but they didn't.

And I think it was big oil out to get big hydrogen. They do look... Bring back blimps. There's something about the room available I watched a um an Indiana Jones film I think my first ever recently the one with Sean Connery's his dad oh yeah very funny movie is it yeah and they go on a blimp you know and they're like it's you know it's full of Nazis yeah and they are sort of you know they're under duress but if you remove the context of what's happening,

and just look at it as, if you look at just blimp as a form of aviation, I thought, that looks like a nice way to travel. It's like a train. It's like a first-class train carriage up there. What's funny to me about the airship is that you need this huge, enormous, bulbous thing to support this little thing of where the people are. And it's kind of cool. I kind of like that they must be quite slow a blimp i think think of a passenger jet that's going quick yeah it's fast oh much slower much much slower than a jet i think what

i'm saying about the hot air balloon is i i was lucky enough to go on a hot air balloon and uh it's it's it's space it's it's it's not space but it's it's as close as you're gonna get it's incredible you're standing legitimately the only thing you're not just you're not like fixed in you're not attached to anything you're standing in a large wicker basket i hate that and i couldn't like if you lean you know if you choose to lean two inches yeah you realize you're actually standing on air. Surely a few people have jumped. Absolutely.

Honestly, how could you not? The call of the void must be so strong when you're in that situation. I've got a good life. I'm a very happy man. And being in the hot air balloon was one of the happiest I've ever been. Half the time I was thinking about jumping out. It's a weird. Not in like an ideation sort of way.

Just in a like, wow, I could do it. You know, it's the same feeling I have... Did you think you would? No, never. It's the same feeling I have when I walk across any significant bridge. But in my head, I'm like, I might. Like I get away from the edge.

I'll actively get away from it because I'll do it. I say to myself in my head. One of the greatest experiences of my life was walking up with my dear friend Ken and we drove from New York to LA in Utah

we went to Zion National Park just before the pandemic it was it was when I was moving home to be with Chelsea bloody well time trip

and there's a place called Angels Landing it's a walk in Zion and it's it's I mean like by New Zealand standards

it's I guess it's dangerous by anyone's standards it's kind of amazing to me that it's, I mean, like, by New Zealand standards, I guess it's dangerous by anyone's standards. It's kind of amazing to me that it's allowed to operate in. What's the search? Paint me a picture. It's just got some very narrow bits of walking and clearance. Right. And then you get up.

I don't know the footage or the meterage, but you get up really high. There's one bit where it's like, you know, the path is probably the width of two feet, and you've got like a chain link sort of um attachment that you're holding on to to clear it and you get up really high when we were up really high there was a condor that was like circling us honestly one of the most beautiful experiences in my life but the the sense that the sort of adrenaline surgeon and dolphin kick i had just from being up high the whole time. Yeah.

And observed back to me by Ken. He's like, we lived together for however long. And he was saying, this is the happiest I've ever seen you. I've never seen you just like fizzing in this specific way. And I had the same thing in the hot air balloon. You need to be up high. Being near the edge. You've got a taste of it because you're six foot two, I think, right? Yeah. So you've got a taste of it on the're six foot two i think right yeah so you've got a taste of it on the ground but you need more steven papa montgomery yes

can't get near heights hate height i don't i don't love him i don't love him he's always my dad yeah um so you think you would no let me say this You just referenced meterage or footage, which reminded me of something in this film we've just seen, Fast and Furious, a.k.a. Fast Four. Dom Toretto, an American driving a Dodge, like an American muscle car. In the Dim and I Can Republic. So Dom, in his own way, I can choose to use the metric system.

He says there's only a K to go. To Brian? No, Brian's not there. No, no, no, sorry. To Leo and Santos. Because they're taking their sweet fucking ass time to hook up to that oil tanker. Only a K to go. Why does he slip into the metric system one time in this whole franchise?

I haven't done the research. Maybe it was listed on a street sign. When you are in... Show us, don't tell us. That's good filmmaking. When you're in the United Kingdom, whose relationship to the metric system I find very confusing. They're real pick and mix.

They do imperial on the roads. And height. I'll use America. Although so do I. If you're in America, and you're driving... No, I'm height. I'll use America. Although so do I. If you're in America and you're driving. We've been there together in a car and we're driving somewhere. You say, how far is it? What would you expect me to answer?

Miles, to be honest. So it's possible that in the Dominican Republic. I'm going to look it up. This is very rare for the pod Signage is in kilometres You're getting too hung up on the signage thing This is Dom Toretto He knows about distances, speeds, cars

I want to go back to the Reading it in the newspaper thing I think Does the Dominican Republic Use the metric system? According to Encyclopedia of the Nations... It's on the speakers. ...weights and measures, the metric system is the legal standard,

but US and Spanish weights are widely used in commercial transactions. That's not a great answer. Well, it goes both ways. I just think if we read in the newspaper that this guy stole a couple of oil tankers and also committed crimes in movies that we haven't seen yet, it just feels like a harsh sentence. And I know that it's been coloured by my closeness to Dom as a friend. Is your issue, this is important to me,

is your issue his actual sentence or is your issue putting yourself in the shoes of someone reading the news story in the morning over a cup of coffee and going, this seems harsh to me? It's a question as to whether or not it seems harsh, or whether or not the punishment fits the crime. Just full stop, based on what's happened in the Fast and Furious franchise. Yeah.

Listen, man, we don't even know what he's charged with. That's how little the writers care about that aspect of this. You know what I mean? He could be charged with terrorism. Well, he's regarded as a terrorist by The Rock later on. And The Rock is essentially a cop. Do you think of Dom as a terrorist? No, but the American Empire would treat him as one

and they'd paint him as one. They'd label him as one and they'd try him as one and they'd jail him as one and they'd kill him as one. A dog in the street. So at the start of the next movie, Dom, he gets broken out and they head straight for... Brazil. Emphasis Doms, not guys, by the way.

And then in the next film, they start off in the Canary Islands and The Rock finds them and says, this is what money gets you. And they collaborate. Sweet collaboration, like Tim and Guy. It's a real soup up there. Some other points to discuss. I thought it was actually a pretty good outing for the film. You were saying it's boring to watch it repeatedly. I was pretty fucking bored today, everybody. I thought it was actually a pretty good outing for the film. You were saying it's boring to watch it repeatedly.

I was pretty fucking bored today, everybody. I was saying they do a pretty decent job. I'm off the source at the moment, and I think that didn't help. Okay. Tell me more. I'm not drinking right now, and I feel like having a beer or two while watching the film gets me into a nice, friendly state to be interacting with an action movie I've seen before. I've had one and a half beers now

since we started watching the film. I mean, it's not hurting. It's been quite nice. It helps, I think. Just take the edge off. It creates a more fluid personal relationship to it. It stops being purely a work outing and it becomes... That's probably what I'm missing.

Something a little bit more social. I'm at work. Where am I? You're at the office party and everyone's clocked off. It's quarter to six and Wendy has already had too much wine. I feel like I've just finished... We just finished filming the second season Of The Spelling Bee We need to break a table

So to me This is This is like I'm at that event Yeah Legitimately Is this your wrap party? When I opened the second

Did you have a wrap party? There was a drinks The night of Not a true wrap party Guy's just had a TV show He's filmed it His own TV show The second season

Of Guy Montgomery's Guy Mont Spelling Bee Yeah And you were working Like a busy little bee show um he's filmed it his own tv show the second season of guy montgomery's guy mont spelling bee yeah and you were working like a busy little bee i never put it all together the last couple of months really but in particular really came to a head last week production week you were you were bobbing and weaving with covid bringing everyone around you down yeah man i um i got burned out by the end of it by the end of it i was genuinely um you're a fella who needs his sleep too i know this about you i like to sleep i wasn't a total lack of sleep it was it's just a lot it was a lot it was really interesting it didn't feel this hard last year which i think is because we were discovering it and it was exciting it worked yeah you know and

then this year everything's harder the second time i think the games were i thought better they were more high concept and i think i was holding more of the sort of internal machinations of how the facility of everything and how i work in the studio i didn't i couldn't totally switch off the um behind the scenes switch into just being a pure host, which makes sense because I'm hosting shit I've come up with. Yeah, I don't have it so much anymore, but I've constantly got to be, is the camera fucking recording?

Is the fucking thing recording? Years of this shit, man. It sucks, eh? It blows. I didn't even check the cameras. I hope we got it. That's on someone else. eh? It blows. I didn't even check the cameras. I hope we got it. That's on someone else.

Someone spent enough money that surely that's not on you. Sure. Ho. Orly. It'd be funny if they didn't. It would be really funny if they didn't. Good memories though, isn't it? I had like more than one shining light.

Yeah, yeah. Well, you've got a bit you want to talk about. I've got a bit I want to talk about too. I can't remember what they were. Don't worry about that. I wrote one of them down. Yeah, yeah. Well, you've got a bit you want to talk about. I've got a bit I want to talk about too. I can't remember what they were. Don't worry about that. I wrote one of them down. First things first. Go on. Oh, that's right.

How do you like your woman, Tim? I don't know what I want to talk about. This movie's not afraid to treat women like objects in a way that I imagine the three movies preceding it will even more aggressively pursue. Yes and no. Okay. Yes and no. Okay. Yes and no.

Okay. I hear what you're saying. There's, you know, butt woman, you know, you couldn't swing a dead cat for hitting a butt woman in this film. Yeah. Do you know the most sort of illicit and hardcore compilation of butt woman in this film? It's when they're all sort of auditioning to be Braga's driver.

All four cars are lined up and they've got the CPU unit that tells them where they have to drive. Braga's CPU. And right before it says go, there's like a, it's almost like a super cut. It's like an overlay of four or five butt women. Yeah. Like all on top of each other. That's right. Because they're like, we're going to show you some computer graphics, but we're not fucking nerds.

And to prove it, there's eight buttocks exactly in a row we don't want you judging us eight buttocks well like yeah four women so we sing that's what you said they didn't show just for clarity because i think tim was enjoying counting in spanish they didn't show the buttocks singularly it wasn't like individual it's a nice note for me though they were um maybe approach it that way well they were shown in pairs someone do a digital zoom and they weren't paired it wasn't one person's half of a butt paired with another person they were paired as a package in the traditional way. Isn't it interesting that out of context you see one buttock,

it's like I don't even really know what I'm looking at. It's not only not sexy, it's a little baffling. The idea of a composite butt is actually not that appealing. What do you mean? Oh, merging two buttocks into one thing. I'm imagining. It seems awful. And I'm not like someone's left and someone's right cheek you know i'm imagining someone's left cheek well no i am imagining someone's left cheek

and someone's right cheek just a mound of but so no no no no no it's important i explain this so when i'm saying someone's left cheek and someone's right cheek, imagine that you're looking at someone's butt and you can see their left cheek and their right cheek. So when I say I'm not imagining someone's left cheek and right cheek, I'm not imagining it in the traditional sense where you've got what constitutes a normal butt. I'm imagining someone's left cheek and then a right cheek

taken from a person to the left of the left cheek and their right cheek. You switch them around? Is that what you're saying? Yeah, yeah. Like backward. It's like if you saw a left foot next to a right foot, but the feet were both, you know, it's like.

Well, you're just switching left and right buttocks around, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes me really uncomfortable. Yeah, because it's like, it's very, it's Uncanny Valley. The valley being someone's butt cleavage. It's how AI would draw up a Fast and the Furious butt girl. Yeah, they'd be like, I heard you guys love butt women. You'd be like, what the fuck is that?

Well, this is what- God damn it, Musk. All of this is angling towards me saying something about woman at last. Oh God, here he is which is i love it uh fuck it you go and i like my woman to be i was gonna call you ally montgomery but i really tripped on my way over there wouldn't happen if i'd had two beers today i tell you i like my woman to be 20 angel 80. Now this I could do without. And in that sense, I'm not too dissimilar from Dominic Toretto,

who's getting hit on hard by Gal Gadot. First of all, why is she hitting on him and not Brian O'Connor? Brian O'Connor, I suppose the challenge is that Paul Walker's not an executive producer on the film yeah there's something to overcome but she's saying what do you what do you how do you like he's talking about cars and then she's like you're one of these guys who likes cars more than women he's like i can appreciate a fine body on any model he's like okay and tell me about the sort of woman yeah what does she say like so i know you're tasting cars okay Tell me about The sort of woman you like Yeah What does she say like

So I know you're tasting cars Now tell me about Your taste in women Says It starts with the eyes Yeah 20 Something

Something The ability to Something Look through the bullshit And see the good in you Yeah I remember that That's fucking lame

20% angel 80% devil I'm imagining all of the like impressionable people who go to this movie and they think that dominic treanor is the coolest dude alive and then you walk out and you're like that's how it's in cell territory that's how i how i want my woman 20 angel 80. That's too much devil. It is. Firstly, first issue. Secondly, it's like a fucking 12-year-old writing a song.

It's so, so bad. How old is Dom Toretto in this movie? 32? I think he's always 50. Yeah, I know what you mean. He's a bit like that. But he's surrounded by people who are like 32. Brian O'Connor in this flick.

He's in a pretty senior position in the FBI, but I think he is a real go-getter and a high achiever. Yeah. So it's hard to say. How old are you? Right now, 36. But inside of yourself? 31.

Yeah. When I heard 32 I thought I think I'm going to be 32 for a while yeah you give 32 I think 32's a nice it's a nice

kick your boots off mate you're 32 for a while I think it's a nice resting place I hate that line so much from Dominic Toretto I love it too and my shining light

because I did send it to you because I was afraid I was going to forget it and here we are um what did I write down I'll tell you I'll tell you the setting

you pause you pause the movie Brian O'Connor is getting he's making a case he's talking to his like his colleague

who's a guy who knows he's broken not just in this movie but in a future movie we should fucking know his name to be fair and it's bad that we don who knows he's broken not just in this movie but in a future movie as well we should fucking know his name to be fair and it's bad that we don't and then he's also

talking to President Gerald Ford slash Nixon lookalikey and he's in a wooden office it's the superior officer

Ford slash Nixon's office there's a lot of dark wood and you Tim pauses the movie he says you know what I like about this office

and in my head when I was watching I was thinking i do like that we're in a wooden office it feels so far away from the traditional world of fast and furious all the offices are glass screens and computer screens it's very rare to be in like an old school leather chair quite dark sort of book heavy wooden office yeah and i was really luxuriating in it and then i had no idea just how much i would learn to love this office thanks to the astute power of observation that has been blessed upon my friend tim what i saw was patriotism uh to the point of absolute lunacy we have the stars and stripes physical flag sitting in the corner of absolute lunacy, we have the Stars and Stripes physical flag sitting in the corner of the room, and right next to it, a framed photo

taking centre stage on the wall of a flag, an American flag, and not even at like full, you know, what do you call it, waving in the wind, you know? No, it's sort of like it's crumpled down like in the same way the flag in the office is it's well it's like they took a photo of the flag that's next to the photo frame and then they framed it and they were like hey you see that flag that's half a meter away here's a picture of it just in case you forgot yeah it's

like it's great it's crazy for so many reasons predominantly just two number one it is insane to have a framed photo of a flag in your office full stop whether or not you've got a flag it's so crazy there's such a batshit thing to do there's nothing else on that wall nothing dons the wall there's no photos of like family or even the president or um maybe the boss of the fbi uh none of that who we will get back to later because uh robert muller does play a role in this film according to my brain okay um but no there is but one decorative element in the office and it is a framed photo of the American flag, kind of crumpled up. And it sits, this is reason number two it's insane, next to a physical flag.

And it'd be like, and I'm really actually struggling to find an astute analogy. It's like having a photo of a bowl of fruit next to your bowl of fruit. Yes. It's a lot like that it's just like what are we up to and it's so funny because we've seen this is the third go around for this movie i hadn't noticed it before you didn't notice it this time so like it's you know it just eludes you and i do wonder is is is there any sense of cynicism and fun in the set dresser who's no no no no no are they just like we're going patriotic we need a flag we need a photo of a flag these are all american movies i think even if our if our single listener is american we'll take umbridge at this the graphic design on the flag is fantastic the graphic design on what flag the stars and stripes yeah i think it's

a cracking flag okay from an aesthetic standpoint okay i'm a fan of that flag if you're into that sort of thing what stars it's a lot yeah it's a fucking banger don't you think what's the best flag i don't think it's the best flag, but what flags do you like? I want something more simplistic. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 50 stars on a nation's flag? Fucking calm down, mate.

Nah, it's good, mate. Have you heard of representation? Do you like the Wales flag? The Welsh flag? What's that? It's a dragon on a green and white background. Red dragon. Fucking sick. That's good, man. Have you heard of representation? Do you like the Wales flag? The Welsh flag? What's that? It's a dragon on a green and white background. Red dragon. Fucking sick.

That's so sick. I like lions. I like dragons. I mean, that's not simple, though. Who's got, which Latin American country's got, like, the sun and it's got a face on it? Uruguay? Could be. Argentina, I think, has it, too.

Argentina. Uruguay's got it in the corner. Argentina's got it in the middle. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking of. Argentina, I think, has it too. Argentina. Uruguay's got it in the corner. Argentina's got it in the middle. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking of. Argentina's flag slaps. Brazil's got a cracking flag. Sri Lanka's got a cracking flag. I actually like the South African flag.

Rainbow Nation. It's a good flag. Japan. Simple. Iconic. I now can get my head around what you like about these simple flags okay here's one that can be a bit more polarizing than i thought the canadian flag can't see it in my head what is it maple leaf oh pro you like it yeah not as strongly as say like argentina's fun sun

i'm thinking about the japanese flag now and it's just so confident, isn't it? Yeah, it is. It's so bold. It speaks to a nation that, say there was like, we formed the United Nations and everyone's like, okay, now pick a flag. It's like Japan was in the front of the line. They got to pick first. We'd get picked damn near last. Absolutely. We've got a stinker. New Zealand sucks.

Although somehow it's better than Australia's You know? Nah One less element on there They're as bad as each other Nah, Australia's slightly worse than ours They're bad flags I just think Americans love their flags so much That

Especially people who are in the FBI Love America Yeah they do They love it Listen, I I got nothing against loving America call it on the flag love but the flag like it's you know it's it's it's when you're there makes me think I'm quoting myself which is embarrassing but of an old stand-up bit which is like they love it so much and whenever i see it i think yeah i know i am also here what are you fucking telling me for i can hear the accents that's because you're you're viewing

the flag as an instructional road sign yeah to say hey, just a reminder you're in America. Honestly, it's scary. When you see an American flag in a yard in America, it's not chill. No. It's not a chill thing. No. Yet somehow seeing a flag. It depends what state you're in.

Seeing a flag next to a frame. Do you remember when we went to Kentucky that Thanksgiving? Yeah, West Virginia. In Kentucky. we drove into kentucky a lot of flags rocking around then oh man um so yeah look getting a photo framed on the wall of a flag that's my shining light god damn it Like, God damn it. And I also like that we're now going to refer to Brian Connor's boss as Ford Nixon, because it reminds me of Frost Nixon. Well, tell me more about Robert Mueller. Oh, yeah.

So there's a guy in this film who calls everyone nutsack, who I felt a real endearment to. Probably not how you make a noun out of that verb. But he rocks, and his name is dwight mueller we know this because it appears on a computer screen at the back of shot for approximately half a second and i was advocating for him i've i've spoken he popped up and i said you know what i like him and i said i like him too i think he's worked. You know, he gets busted by Brian O'Connor. A, as a lark.

B, so that he can- Oh, it is O'Connor. Yeah, he gets busted by O'Connor. I said Connor. A, as a lark. B, so that he can muscle in on his spot in Braga's driving crew, so that he can continue to work sort of, I guess, at odds, while also alongside with Dom to get to the bottom of what this job,

you know, this case. He's doing it for work. Dom's doing it for family. And he busts Mueller. And before the bust was happening, we know the bust's coming. We were talking about him. And you're saying, I like this guy.

And I was saying, I think I do too. And I tell you what, I think he probably worked really hard in his own way to get to where he is. You know, everything seems to be above water. And you said he's worked very hard doing whatever it is that Dwight does to get to where he is you know everything seems to be above water and you see very hard doing whatever it is that dwight does to get to where he is in life and what did you say i said i think not because my mind had already spun this whole backstory for him that he is the son of robert

mueller who i believe was the former director of the fbi and was the special counsel while Trump was being He was, his name was in the papers for a long time. Yeah So Dwight the guy who calls everyone nutsack is Robert Mueller's son and that's how he's been able to kind of get away unscathed or without facing consequences

his whole adolescence to form this kind of rat bag adult There's a little touch of the Hunter Bidens about him. Yes, exactly. When you draw this comparison all of a sudden. It's a trajectory. When you're never able to learn the lessons of getting your knees scraped properly,

someone's always there to prevent you facing your consequences. Unfortunately, you end up addicted to crack cocaine and spending ungodly amounts of money on sex workers. You know, the thing is, if he was the son of a Republican, people would love it. The Republicans would be like, this fucking guy, you're coming for this guy?

The coolest guy we have. I'm kind of surprised how much it doesn't, it's like kind of, don't know the democrats keep the wheels on that whole thing how responsible are you meant to be for an adult yeah it's true especially because this is the unique benefit of biden being so very old because they aren't just like a 50 year old man himself it's like my son my son your son's a middle-aged man he's older than middle-aged the way he treats his body god damn he's well through anyway so that's dwight mueller for you because it's fun to call everyone nutsack as well it's cool he's got a like i don't want to say a harem

because that's casting probably a darker light on his household than it needs to be he's got a bunch of women who he hangs out with and he's got a cool handy cam and he loves feet yeah it's fine you're allowed to love feet that's totally okay to love women's feet you're allowed to love women's feet out loud while you have a handy cam it's all good for all adults here it's a lot some of us are 50 and addicted to crack cocaine there's nothing wrong with it hunter biden do you know who'd love that house party hunter biden yeah he was there he's in the bathroom just out of frame yeah rack him and stack him leaving his laptop sitting around in people's houses can i tell you man laptops hey people are obsessed with what laptops people use i I use a MacBook. Incredible that you wouldn't keep your shit in the cloud

if your dad was the president. I don't think he's thinking about that stuff. As someone who doesn't think about that stuff. Get a little bit of OPSEC if your dad is the president of the United States of America. Just fucking shoot your MacBook into a repair shop. They've probably got guys for that. Homeland Security surely has a guy to fix your shit up.

Your dad's the president. He's certainly got some bad stuff on there. Is he the president? Or are the guys who are the marionette operators, are they in charge? Either way, I reckon Hunter would have had access to an IT guy who wasn't just Jim's computer repair. My shining light. Love to hear it.

There's a few to pick from. Pick two. Okay. First things first, I really like Dom and Paul Walker have survived the mission that they drove for Braga. They got shot at. It wasn't chill. Actually, there's still quite a lot I want to talk about.

I'll save it. I have to save it. But they survive. Well, no, what happens is Phoenix, who's like Braga's right-hand man, he's the guy who we believe to have killed Letty, and him and Dom have a bit of tension. Dom says, are you the boss man? And he said, do I look like the boss man?

And he's like, you know, there's this simmering sort of alpha dog, which makes me miss Tyrese when he says two alphas. It's so funny. They have this moment. And then they, like, Phoenix is about to kill all of the drivers who have delivered this shipment or picked up this shipment of heroin. And Dom's like, no, that's not cool.

And he opens up his NOS canister and pushes in the cigarette lighter to create an explosion. But he's got a kill time before then and he's sort of talking and running his mouth towards Phoenix and he's saying, I know you killed Letty. Oh, before he says, I know you killed Letty,

though, he's like, anyone who drives with nos under their bonnet nos is for pussies or something or some brand of specific version of how he's got it and phoenix is like you looked under my bonnet and i just like what a um breach of privacy and like what the the way in which it felt like such a gross perversion from dom it's fast and furious doing their version of never touch a black man's radio yeah rush hour yeah it's Fast and Furious doing their version of Never Touch a Black Man's Radio

from Rush Hour yeah it's like they put a fun twist on it which is you do not look under the hood I just like you know

Honor Amongst Thieves or whatever I just like I like that it's like they're nice I just I took

great pleasure in that do you think any part of that is Phoenix's acting performance because he is a big champion for Phoenix this watch dog he's such a great actor and that part of that is Phoenix's acting performance? Because he is... You're a big champion for Phoenix this watch. Dog, he's such a great actor. And that delivery of that line,

you looked under my hood, like he looks disgusted at Dom. I like that Dom did it. Dom is such a... He stands on his values inside of the Fast and the Furious universe. Man's got to have a code. Exactly. You know who said that?'s got to have a code. Exactly.

You know who said that? I think Dom Toretto. Probably. Anyway, this is a sidebar to the Shining Light moment, which is in all of this kerfuffle, Dom gets shot. And then later on, him and Brian are with Mia, Dom's sister, Brian's lover. The bullet's been removed.

And Dom starts eating eating and he's like you gotta you gotta say what don what are you doing you haven't said grace you ate so you gotta say grace and he's like okay and he takes his beer and he fucking fists the neck of his corona and he takes a big sip then he puts it back down on the table and then as anyone who's drunk a beer in their life will know sometimes i don't know what alchemy it is but it fizzes right up the neck and starts pouring out over the neck going all over the table and this is happening but this is happening on multiple levels in a way that i'm really loving this is happening to dominic toredo who i feel like is quite vulnerable and self-conscious about always looking cool and like

he doesn't make mistakes so it's really embarrassing for him that this is happening in front of Brian O'Connor and his sister. It's also happening to Vin Diesel, who is an executive producer and professional actor on the set who is just trying to get through the scene, who must be, he's facing the bear. He must be totally aware this is happening and in his head be thinking like,

we'll pick it up, we'll get another take and we'll use that one because I do not want this to be in the film. And I like that in both of these settings on both of these terms we get to see just the very like teenage embarrassment of not drinking your beer properly and having your beer fizz up and go everywhere fuck it really really got like really got to me on on a granular level of enjoyment. It seeped through whatever emotional barriers I've put between me and this film franchise and just was like, that is what this is about. Congrats on that, man.

That's so cool. Thank you. That rocks. Thank you. Did you want to pick another one? I did put you up to a challenge, and you seemed somewhat ready for it. I think this one didn't resonate as much, but at one point you said,

what if I dumped Hans Fashion and took out Braga's? And I thought, I think that's more you. I think it works. Do you reckon I could pull off the kind of shit that Braga's rocking? I just feel like the way you're moving at the moment, I just feel like it's more Braga. High praise. When the crew, before all of like it's more Braga. High praise. When the crew, before all of this fallout,

before that mission rolls out, Braga is at the car warehouse, wherever it is, everyone's getting in their cars, and he's got on like a sort of semi-coloured lenses, sunglass lenses, almost like transition lenses. And he's got on like a silk Sort of Ryan Gosling And drive style jacket

And when the car's ready to roll out He just gets his I don't know if there's devil horns Or rock and roll He takes his Two middle fingers And holds them with his thumb And he's got his

Two outside fingers His pinky and his index And he just goes like that With both hands So if you're not watching It's sort of flipping down a goat. You're doing a goat, you're flipping it down to indicate let's roll. I watched it and I think the actor who's doing it

wouldn't be able to confidently do that in their life. Yeah. But while embodying the character and doing it as Braga, I thought that is what Braga would do. And that looks cool. And I can't do it. Yeah. But he could.

You can physically do the action, but you can't pull it off. I can't do it. No one can. With the right fucking vibe. No one fucking can, dude. That's how good at acting that guy portraying Braga is.

He's good. Him and Phoenix, actually, they elevate. They elevate. Yeah. Don't they? And these aren't your late season, your Dame Helen Mirrens, your Oscar winning Charlize Theron's, your blockbuster movie stars elevate they elevate yeah don't they and these aren't these aren't your late season your dame

helen mirren's your oscar-winning charlie's therons your blockbuster movie stars like the rock your action staples like statham i would argue all four of them with the possible exception of statham phone it in big time and why wouldn't they why the fuck would but whomever the person is playing braga and whomever the person is playing Phoenix, we doff our caps at your fine acting performance. They do a little known thing from a 2001 movie set in a Los Angeles high school. What do they do? Well, they bring it.

Oh. Not another teen movie. And they're like, you you know it's a pastiche or it's a spoof of all these different things and they're doing the bring it on but it's like you bring it or maybe it's in the original it's like you better bring it oh it's already been brought and then some off camera character yells out

nice comeback Priscilla that's going to end our time For this third watch of Fast Four My rating for this watch of the film Is Three sober drivers out of five Three feels right Three horsepower

Out of a possible six horses How many horses can you get in a car these days in a car cars are so much bigger than they've ever been two two horses imagine like two imagine a horse driving a car that's like 50 horsepower yeah how would that horse feel yeah like a god um it would be like hercules of horses you'd want it to be on a pretty straight bit of road all men want to do is be strong and hercules was imbued with the strength of 10 men a horse or just wants to be quick and for it to be going as fast and as powerfully as 50 horses, surely would make it some sort of demigod.

I think a horse would be good on the pedals. I do think stereo indicating turning. Stereo's hard. Turning, I think they've got good chompers on them. Just bite down on the wheel and turn it that way. It'll work. You'd be praying for an automatic though, wouldn't you? It's all the same to me.

I think the horse might be. This is going to do it. Thanks for listening, everybody. When a horse prays, does it put its two hooves together? I don't know if this is on sale yet, but we've got a big announcement that the... Who let the dogs out? That was the Baja man. Listen, everybody.

For real. We're going to be watching the last... Well, fuck. How do you phrase this? The last episode of this season is the only watch we'll do of the first Fast and Furious movie. Guess what? We're doing it.

We're doing it at a cinema. Yeah. With you, hopefully. We're doing it in honor of its Los Angeles setting. We're doing it at the Hollywood in Avondale, Auckland, Aotearoa. It's going to go off. We're going to do a full screening. December 15th. Then we're going to do a full screening December 15th

then we're going to do a live podcast and that is going to stream live as well so if you can't make it to Auckland, New Zealand unlike Stephanie and Michelle

Tanner on that episode of Full House where they accidentally got on the plane going to Auckland rather than Oakland

a memory that will live on forever in New Zealand's public consciousness. Actually, speaking of New Zealand on screen, very positive memory when I went to a sold-out screening of Heat, actually, at the Hollywood in Avondale. I went by myself. And when Robert De Niro talks about potentially moving to New Zealand, the whole cinema, I felt unironically cheered. Fuck yeah.

Broke out in applause. And that's the kind of energy that we want to have for the entire screening and live episode that we'll be doing on December 15th at the Hollywood Avondale. So buy tickets. There'll be a link in the show notes if they're on sale. And if they're not yet, they will be soon. So be ready. See you there. Yeah, you you will i'm doing it with you

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