The Worst Idea Of All Time - 39: Pool Party

Episode Date: December 2, 2023

It's time for a pool party, legitimately. The weather is fine, the sun is radiant and unprotected over the nation of New Zealand. Tim's pool is conspicuously clean and so the boys begin the episode either in, or freshly out of, the pool. Guy, like a little lizard on a rock, pitches a business idea for the gentlemen with little legs and thin calves to help give them a bit more body confidence at the beach. Tim confesses to who is in charge between him and Rufus (his dog) and the results may shock you. Both boys also apply liberal amounts of sunscreen to their thighs and nowhere else. The movie Fast and Furious 4 comes under some delightful scrutiny before the boys try and figure out how in the hell Tokyo Drift is gonna link up with this, helping them realize they've mixed too many paints in the bucket and the whole franchise has gone brown.Book tickets for our live show and corresponding live-stream (coming soon) on Dec 15.Support us on Substack at twioat.substack.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Music 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Hello. Welcome along to the Summer Sessions. It's the worst idea of all time. We're in the pool, baby! Season 6. We've just watched Fast 4 for the fourth of all time. We're in the pool, baby! Season six. We've just watched Fast Four for the fourth and final time.

I'm going to keep swimming for a bit. I'll be right back. Yeah, that's okay. And it feels as though it's cause for celebration. We've spent a bit of time in the... I was going to call them the doldrums. I guess you'd call them the doldoms of the sort of uncertain genre territory of Fast Four. We spend a lot of time in the Dominican Republic and Panama and Los Angeles and in Mexico

as Brian reintroduces himself to the franchise and Dom rages around the place to mourn the loss of Letty. But we don't really need to worry about too much of that anymore. Is Rufus okay? He's all good. He just keeps dropping his ball in the pool, so I'll go and retrieve it for him. Then he gets really angry when I don't. Well, it's... I'll go get the ball.

Who's in charge? Rufus. Yeah. Can't be what happens. You know, so what else can I tell you, really? I took some notes. Oh! Well, you know, it seems silly not to start here

Considering it's what we're doing Something I've noticed across all the movies we've seen so far Is Dom Toretto has a real affinity for the beach And a real proclivity to arrive in long trowel and closed toe I'd like to introduce something called The Dom Toretto Wear Shorts to the Beach Challenge. Basically, the challenge is for Dominic Toretto

to go to the beach in a pair of shorts. Brian wears shorts at the beach. Brian wears thongs. What do they call them in the States? Jandals? Flip-flops. We call them jandals. In Australia, they call them in the States? Jandals? Flip-flops. We call them jandals. In Australia, they call them thongs.

And in America, they call them flip-flops. What do they call them in England? Thongs. I don't think English have them. They've got them. I don't think it's part of the UK oeuvre of footwear. They've got to be everywhere. I mean, what I think, because what I notice is he's not just in pants,

he's wearing his sort of workingman's closed-toe steel cap platform boot. And there's a... He's in workshop shoes the whole time. Well, there's a gap in the market for, you know, maybe the more masculine, shorter gentleman slash movie star who's too self-conscious to go to the beach in bare feet or flip-flops. I'm proposing more or less exclusively for Dominic Toretto, but there might be some uptick, platform flip-flops

with optional calf muscle sleeve. So it's a platform flip-flops with optional calf muscle sleeve so it's a platform flip-flop to elevate height yeah the bottom sort of three quarters of the flip-flop is sand colored okay and obviously there are different colors of sand but we're going for your traditional golden sand so um the beach is a funny place to be self-conscious about your height anyway because a lot of them are on slopes. So you've got a three-quarter sand-colored platform flip-flop, and the top is just the traditional sole. And then for the squat gentleman who's self-conscious about calf definition, there's an optional flesh-colored sleeve that stretches up from the ankle to the knee that can accentuate, elevate

or introduce just some muscle tone to the calf a tuck and lift operation is a wearable perhaps where some of the self consciousness is coming from for Dom I think it's all are we talking Dom?

Dom is the model watching these movies is what has inspired the idea but is this Vin Dees is what I'm saying is this Dom Dom is like you know watching these movies is what has inspired the idea but is this Vin Diesel is what I'm saying is this Dom or is this Vin I feel like

Vin you know I think Vin Diesel I feel is probably more comfortable with his body and he probably

wears shorts to the beach I think he's afraid of you know diminishing Dom's power both emotional and physical in the franchise and so he's made a decision that dom can only go to the beach in long trow and close tight yeah ironically i think the most powerful thing you could do at the beach is just get butt naked oh wow just rock

around even at a non-nudist beach uh i guess there's certain ethical um quandaries there but yeah kind of from a confidence point of view i think i think yeah obviously you know just just letting it all not it even in speedos i think you're doing a lot of work i think you know you're 99 of the way there aren't you you are speedos are i don't know what you call i think speedo is an american brand i think they call it Speedo Yeah I think you're right Pretty impressive Because a Speedo is not

A Speedo's the brand name Yeah So associated with that cut of togs Yeah That we call them a Speedo No one else would dare to do that It's the Kleenex of togs And we say togs as well

Which is I think a pretty unique They say trunks Trunks Swimmers I'm in some of your trunks right now. Yep. Quite a tight fit. But, you know, look at me.

I'm relaxed. I've got the legs out. I do wonder about your product proposal for these platform jandals, as we call them. With optional calf sleeve. Is this your tall man privilege speaking? As someone who's over six foot one. Okay. That your mind goes to the shorter man and

hilarious products we could offer for them this is not a comedy product this is a this is a response to a demand in the market this is a desire for for men of all heights and you know levels of comfortability would i wear them yeah i look like a giant down there. Not absolutely not. I wear sandals if I'm wearing footwear at the beach. Ideally, if it's not too hot, I'm going barefoot. You've got your, what are they called? Birkenstocks. Yeah, you've got your Birkenstocks on. Yeah.

That's what you're rocking. That's what I'm wearing. You've kind of got like 50% beach wear at all times. I'm usually ready. You love a hat? Yeah. You love a Birkenstock? I love shorts. love you love a short i'm always in shorts you love a short you love a tea i have well i have a theory and it's a source of much uh conversation between chelsea that legs don't get cold yeah

not truly this one to me as well i've sort of i've noticed it with my toddler that i put a top on him he's fine yeah he could be wearing just a nappy really. Yeah. Bare legs. Bare legs for all to see. When I, not the most recent time I was in charge of him, but the time before, he didn't want any pants. We did a nappy change. He just wanted to rock around.

He's a big fan of that. Yeah. He had a nappy on. Yeah. But he was like, nah. I was like, should we put the pants on? He was like, nah. That's an encumbrance. And on yeah you know but he was like nah I was like should we put the pants on he went nah that's a encumbrance and also you know

that's also a power play when you're the babysitter and the kid is in charge it's like you know you don't I don't know how strict

pants are enforced in this house so like if you're doing bedtime with someone else's kid and you're like you do this and they're like

nah nah nah we stay up and we watch TV and you know and you go okay true you know more than I go, okay. True. You know more than I do.

Yeah. You tell me. Yeah. I'm just here for the night. Do you reckon Letty would get into thongs? I haven't. I've adopted the Australian vernacular for some reason. I think, yes. I think everyone, I'm trying to remember what Letty wears to the beach.

Because we've got the thong song by Cisco. That's about what we would call, well, I think everyone, I'm trying to remember what Lady Wears the Beach. Because we've got the thong song by Cisco. That's about what we would call, well, I guess everyone calls it a bikini. A G-string. Oh, yeah, that is what that is. Why is it called a G-string? Gee, this underwear is riding up my ass. Maybe that's it, guy. Gee whiz.

Doesn't this make my butt? I think my understanding i look i don't know anything that the g-string is to prevent something called vpl you know about vpl i do not visible panty line oh right yeah so the g-string was designed to prevent vpl appearing on tighter trousers skirts dresses, dresses. Sure. I've never troubled myself to wear a thong. Nor I. I mean, I've worn one, but not like, I've worn one as research. I've not worn one out for a day. What was the research?

Just what does it feel like to wear a thong? How did it feel? Like a wedgie. Let's look at those findings from the research. Well, it just feels. It's not as comfortable as like, I don't know why everyone isn't just wearing the sort of jockey shortcut, not boxes, boxer briefs.

Boxer briefs. Boxer briefs seems like... Across the full spectrum of gender. It does seem like the resting choice of all men. You fuck around with lots of options. When you're a teen... Why fronts are a fascinating thing. It seems quite American to me And it seems like an old man thing

It is, it's generational And I think that they probably find the boxer brief To be humiliating in some way How so? I just think they think it's You know, like Older people have more traditional ideas of masculinity And I think they probably think of a boxer brief

As being quite compromising and effeminate Oh, I see. That's quite ironic coming from someone in Y France. Those things are hideous. Uncompromising men. Men's men, you know. Menly men. Yeah.

Men, men, men, men. Menly men, men, men. I did it again. I tricked you into singing. No, that wasn't a trick. That was a collaboration. Collab. So what do you think about my elevated...

I actually think it's a pretty good idea. I think it would be hard to wear... I mean, Dom's kind of doing it already. It would be hard to wear platforms at the beach. This is so cynical, but I always assume when there's something that seems like a good idea and it doesn't exist, I'm just like, wow, there's got to be a reason for that not to exist.

And then I'd stop thinking about it. That's not a true mind of an inventor, is it? An inventor would say, maybe no one had the courage to put sand-coloured platform material on the jandals. I think of you as a yes man as well. I think of you as someone who says yes. Yes and?

Yeah, you're an improviser. Let's put pumps on the pumps. How tall are they? The thong? In the same way that they have custom... Okay, so now i'm thinking about how traditional platform shoes work and i guess the reason why don wears it in boot form is you're kind of using your entire foot and ankle and a little bit above to lift the weight of that uh you know heavy platform bit if you've got a jandal, a thong, a flip-flop if you will, all the weight is going

onto that bit that kind of cuts into your foot, that's going to be tough stuff. Wow, yeah, it's not comfortable. I mean, I was thinking of putting on a sandal, which would make more sense. I think I've seen like you know, cork sole, platform. They're not quite full beach sandals, but they're like formal

wear, open toe shoes that people might wear. Like a Birkenstock with a bit of a few inches on it. Yeah, with a bit of heft. That makes more sense. If I think about the actual physics of wearing a platform flip-flop to the beach, there's going to be a lot of rolled ankles. There's going to be a lot of, especially in the States, we're going to be receiving a lot of insurance claims. Oh, yeah. We're going to get sued because there's going to be a lot of especially in the states we're going to be receiving a lot of

insurance claims. We're going to get sued because there's going to be a lot of people causing permanent damage. Have you fallen off your four foot platform jandals designed by Guy Montgomery? Then I need to represent you. They're called the Montgomery Mountain Flip Flop. Oh that's great. Turn any man into a mountain. That's right.

And any woman weak at the knees. Hi, I'm Guy Montgomery. I used to be five foot eleven feeling self-conscious at the beach wearing my long trowel and closed toe

until I came up with the idea for the Montgomery Mountain Flip Flop. A platform sandal or jandal that will turn your trip to the beach

into a trip to a nightclub. I don't know. I'm improvising the idea. Hi, I'm Timmy Batt, Esquire, attorney at law. Uh oh. Did your trip to the beach turn into a trip to a nightclub i don't know i'm improvising hi i'm timmy bat esquire attorney at law oh did your trip to the beach turn into a trip to the ground did your roll around the ocean with a friend turn into a rolled ankle then you need to call my excellent legal team to get the best

representation so we can take down the monstrous mountain Montgomery. His terrible shoes have been causing injuries from east coast to west. And now it's time for you to get your justice. Okay. What if I got Vin as my, not my lawyer, but what if I got Vin as like... Your spokesperson. Yeah, because you know in America recently a lot of celebrities went all in on crypto. And now there's these big cases being brought against the crypto firms And all the celebrities are guilty by association

They're like, you didn't do your research Who's the footballer? Tom Brady Yeah But I don't think it matters for them Man, you've got to be pretty greedy to fucking get into that whole crypto Be a spokesperson for crypto Yeah

You have to be pretty greedy, I think fucking get into that whole crypto, be a spokesperson for crypto. Yeah. You have to be pretty greedy, I think. Larry David did a big Super Bowl spot for one of them. I know, but he kind of cut the best version of it because his was sort of in character going, it's not a good idea. So you get to cash the check, but still kind of retain your own personality. Plausible deniability.

Well, not exactly. I didn't realize it was actually, I thought it was just a bad idea. Yeah. But, you know, it wasn't as forceful an endorsement as everyone else. Yeah. It was him passing on the deal, but secretly cashing in on the deal. Yeah, yeah.

I think old mate's going to jail for over 100 years was his sentence. This Bankman Freed guy, really? That's hilarious. probably not for him no but you know he was justice for you what goes around comes around yeah he was in the bahamas they were amazon priming like single items can you amazon prime to the bahamas i think so it's pretty cool it's the issue with a lot of the stuff that is if you just park if you park consequence yeah which a lot of people do just park any kind of context whatsoever and you just go i could be in the bahamas ripping off everyone to the tune of hundreds of millions potentially billions of american dollars you can see just randomly

amazon any form that i want onto the island you can you can see uh how people why people do it you can see how people wind up in a situation where they're like well i'm gonna do this until someone tells me that it's naughty and i'm not allowed and then when they do that is such a great way of thinking about it and then when they do i'm gonna say oh was that naughty that is such a good way of thinking about it. And then when they do, I'm going to say, oh, was that naughty? That is such a good way of thinking about it. They're just running around doing whatever they want, hoping that someone

will sort of pull them up on it and they need an adult to tell them to stop. So it's like being a kid, you know, it's your job to push the boundaries. So it goes back

to that babysitting thing where it's like, it's your job to be like, yeah, we have, you know, we're allowed soft drink at 8pm. Mum says I'm allowed

to have as much chocolate as I want right before bed because it helps me sleep and then it's you know and you're like okay you can have one square but I don't think that's you know like it's our job to say no yeah yeah that's all that is but this guy was like

28 or something oh he was too old and he looked baby faced which is why I think all the priests coming up with a pass on it he did that whole he had that whole like um schlubby kind of aesthetic that was part of his mystique. Yeah, and that

dumb philosophy. Is everyone going to get in trouble who was doing that? Well, I think that Caroline ratted him out. I haven't followed it very closely, but I imagine she did that in exchange for some sort of immunity, which like god bless yeah is that is it snitches snitches get snitches

win is that right snitches win bro you gotta snitch as fast as you can yeah really yeah hell yeah that's how the american justice system works you gotta rat harder and faster than anyone else that's what that song about. What's that song? Harder, better, faster, stronger. Yeah, yeah. That's all about snitching, man. Yeah, buddy.

This is recording, by the way. Do you think, I appreciate you looking at that, actually. Do you think that there's any path back for Brian? If you pretend that you hadn't seen the other movies because we're going backwards in this franchise. Oh, path back to the force. Yeah, him getting back in the FBI. There's a scene where he has to come back to the FBI

and he's wearing a polo shirt. Green polo shirt, yeah. And he looks good in it. It's his color. But it's to denote that he's fallen from grace. Yeah. It's like everyone else is in their suits. He goes and he has sex with Maya just while Dom's waiting for him

in the garage, turning up a car, which is crazy. And then has a convo with Dom and Dom's like, I'm going after Braga and the way I'm doing it, I'm not intending to bring anyone back. And Brian signs up to that. The subtext being, I'm going to kill kill this guy you can't do that as a cop and brian says i'm coming with you yeah i know what's up the subtext being fuck the fbi i also want to kill this guy well i right up to the end of this movie though he's still kind of you know

like he gets he gets discharged and stuff i was just finished the story because this was the bit where he's in the polo shirt and guy and I both thought it would be pretty funny if he came back to the FBI to kind of hand in his badge and gown wearing a female booty inspector t-shirt. I don't think that should be his choice. I think if you get discharged from the FBI, mandatory, you have to wear a female body inspector t-shirt as issued by the FBI. That's good. a female body inspector t-shirt. That's good. As like issued by the FBI.

That's good. I can't remember if I said this on a previous episode of the podcast, but I always wanted to make a FBI t-shirt, which is female body inspector inspector. That's our life ship. Anyone who's wearing a female body inspector t-shirt, you keep an eye on them. And you can appraise their bodies.

Imagine if you're wearing the FBI t-shirt and Montgomery's's mountain what did you say it was oh montgomery's mountain flip-flops flip-flops it's a strong look isn't it huge wow yeah this guy's got quite a lot going on in his day i you know conceptually even though i'm the image that's in my head is of a man who rides the bus a lot i here's what I think. I think that the t-shirts, I got the sizes wrong, so they're all really long, like 90-length t-shirts. And so you're just wearing it like a dress. Okay.

Swimming trunks or speedos, short speedo underneath. You've got the Montgomery Mountain flip-flop on. Oh, this is crazy. I think if you're near the water. No. I think if you're near the water no i think if you're near the water it's okay i think if you're in the central business district i think you're getting some looks i think you're getting in trouble but this is the thing this is it's the sam bankman freed thing it's like i'm just pushing boundaries here look i just need someone to tell me here i am to tell you stop doing that it's not right what you're doing

it's wrong even though i came up with both of the ideas yeah for the t-shirt and the montgomery's mountain i hate it i hate the i hate the visual you have to put them together and i think that's where you've run into trouble is you've come up with two good ideas never the twain uh should meet i just it's it'd be like um uh A ice cream toasted sandwich Love a toasted sandwich Love an ice cream You can't put ice cream in a toasted sandwich It doesn't work

Can you put an ice cream sandwich in a toasty press? Well I don't think it'd end well guy I think it'd be pretty messy And disgusting And at that point you're basically just burning milk on an element It's more cream but yeah You're not doing anything What on an element. It's more cream, but yeah, you're not doing anything. Well, what is cream if not thick milk? Yeah.

You know? How do you make cream milk? How do you make cream? What do you mean? Cream milk. You just don't sift off the fat. And that's how they make milk? Full cream milk, I think it's just like raw milk.

They're not adding anything. They're just not taking away all the fat. How do you make butter? You churn that full cream milk, brother. They're not adding anything. They're just not taking away all the fat. How do you make butter? You churn that full cream milk, brother. Add a bit of salt. And what if you churn milk? What do you get then? I don't think it's thick enough fat content.

You just get milk. Just get like frothy milk. Frothy milk and then it'll chill out. I want to get a milk frother actually. Oh yeah? I want to get one. You go, you don't even, you got the espresso machine, but you go mock and bust. We're a drip.

We're a drip thing. Filter. You know what I realized the other day? The reason the coffee tastes shit is because I keep getting the shop down the road to grind the beans for me. It's crazy. You've got to self grind. They start going off from day one.

You've got to grind yourself. You've got to get whole beans and get a grinder. I think we've got one somewhere. You get smaller amounts of beans so that you can get through them faster. Hey? Just get smaller amounts of beans so that you can get through them faster hey just get smaller bags of beans they start going off as soon as you grind them up though gotta get a grinder for the house um so this movie man i didn't love it this time at all in fact it kind of annoyed me i was i was really trying to engage i was fucking checked out i was listless i was restless i'm pretty tired i will say that why are you tired got up at oh this is devastating i woke up at 10 to 6 so looking after remy at the moment solo because i was out of town for a few days and uh remy wakes up at about 6 30 like if you're pretty

good so got him to bed last night kind of late and he hadn't slept basically at all during the day so i was like this is my fucking ticket yeah he's gonna sleep in so all good all going to plan great he goes to sleep deep slumber fantastic i get woken up because i forgot to fully put the latch on rufus's door the fucking dog woke me up at 10 to 6 oh baby dang could have got another 45 minutes at kip and that that that 45 minutes at that time in the morning yeah valuable yeah yeah yeah that's tough i can feel myself burning well i got just the thing for you put some block on sunscreen thanks you should put some on too yeah i should there's no um uv there's no ozone layer down here so that you can feel it. Do you know where I most noticed that?

I've probably told this story on the pod before. I went to Mexico when I was like 17 for a Spanish school trip. We were going to go to Spain from memory. I think we were going to go to Madrid, but there was a terrorist attack. I remember that. This would have been like 2004, I think, that that happened, something like that. I think my older sister was in Barcelona at that time. Oh, God, that's horrible.

Well, not as horrible as for the people who were in Madrid. That's true. So we decided to go to Mexico instead. If memory serves, I sort of lied my way on the trip as well. But anyway, we went there, and I got lost in Guadalajara for about a day. I was just walking around. No Google Maps back then on your phone, that's for sure. Eventually found my way home, but I was shocked that the only bit of me,

I was in shorts and T-shirt for the whole day out in the Mexico sun, but I didn't really get burned except for my feet. And that's the thing that really made me realize the New Zealand sun is a different sun we're dealing with it takes its work very seriously down here yeah I think it thinks you know it's on the clock they're down at the bottom I mean is it no that's not how it works well it's not like in the it's not like say I the antipodes to New Zealand is Portugal. The Portuguese aren't confronted by the same hole in the ozone layer because it's literally over us.

I don't know. It's over us in Australia. So it moves with us. I guess the stratosphere or wherever the ozone layer is moves with us. That atmosphere moves with us as we turn around. Do you want to move to Mars? If it's a possibility? I'm in no rush. Me neither.

You're not in the first wave. Seems like a dumb idea to me. Who's sparing that mission? Elon. Elon's all about it. That's just like, that's a big part of the problem. It's like the worst person you know building this cool new house. And they go, so hey i'm having

a big party and everyone is invited yeah and you're like i really don't want to go to your house yeah yeah i don't care how nice you got it yeah it's true of a lot of people with nice houses probably not great people i i think i guess in this analogy i question the house based on who owns it i'm like if that guy's so big on this not good not good i might have um dabbled with the idea previously but if this guy's so hot on it fuck that it must be a bad idea um i'm just gonna have a look at what else i've got here oh you took so many notes this episode man it was breathtaking it's not actually as many as you think we've already burned through most of them okay uh that's fine i could talk about something okay it relates to what we were just oh shush is that a package do you reckon yeah probably yeah go go check go check

it out roof um i liked that you can kind of track uh brian o'Connor's journey through his fashion in this okay so like at the start when he goes into the meeting with his boss who is the genetic compound of presidents Ford and Nixon all right at the FBI he's put his he's adjusting his collar he's putting his tightening his tire he's got such a lase fierce attitude he's doing something else he's He's adjusting his collar. He's tightening his tie. He's got such a laissez-faire sort of attitude. He's doing something else. He's late to a meeting with the big chief.

And that's Brian. That's his character. That's where he's at. And then later in the film, when he hands in his badge, he's in that gorgeous polo shirt because he's kind of off the clock at that point. He's decided, I'm going to kill this guy This is extra judicial

I'm leaving the force And then later I think when he's trying to make the deal with his boss Yeah He's back in a suit and tie He's contrite He's trying to play their game again Okay

And then also same attire in court Because he once again is on the back foot His best friend's facing serious time I think he's back with attire in court because he once again is on the back foot his best friend's facing serious but he's back i think he's back with the fbi in court because they're using brian's testimony like federal agent o'connor's testimony to try and defend dom and then as soon as they're like not dom you don't get and you know dom's in trouble in court because the the the judge and this is true for like if you're at it's true for virtually any circumstance if someone is passing judgment and they start off by being like, well, I tell you, I thought you did this well.

I thought you were fantastic on this front. You're sitting there thinking, you son of a bitch. You're going good news first, bad news second. You want them to start by giving you some constructive criticism and then saying that. You nailed this, that, and the other. You're off the hook. Move your peak up.

We're going to lose your eyes in the video, which you can see at twiow8.substack.com. That's true. The peak is down for my own selfish reasons. So you can see? Yeah. That's fair. That's fair.

So you can be outside and see? Yeah. I've lost my sunglasses. What if I told you, Tim, I lost the fifth pair of identical sunglasses I've owned in the last 10 years? Fuck, man, that's devastating. One every two years ain't terrible.

They're expensive sunglasses. And I don't learn, and I don't stop buying them. These ones I bought, I mean, this was a bad turnaround. These ones I bought in July. Yeah, that's pretty dog shit. And now I haven't even made it to summer.

Oh, I'm really annoyed at myself. I lost a couple of somewhat expensive ones and now I'm gas station all the way. Are you? You just have to accept that you're either a sunglasses person or not. No, no, no, no, no. I'm going to buy...

Do you know what I'm going to do? You're going to buy the exact same pair of sunglasses. I'm going to buy two pairs. Don't do that. Yeah. That's crazy. I'm going to buy do you know what I'm going to do you're going to buy the exact same pair of sunglasses I'm going to buy two pairs don't do that yeah that's crazy I'm going to buy two pairs no because then you're

normalizing it for yourself no then I'm a little bit I was going to say then I'm ready and then I realized that plays into your argument

hey I'm really sorry I cut off something amazing you were going to say before it's okay but before I get to that I actually want to circle back because you were asking earlier

if there's any way back for Brian O'Connor to the force if we remove the information we have about fasts five through nine yeah let's pretend like we didn't do the franchise backwards which we did uh i think if you at the end of this movie you think yes all the way up until uh the closing scene when him and Mia, and also Leon Santos, whose inclusion in the prison bus heist is omitted from the start of F5. I think you think, yeah,

you know, he can have it both ways. But he just, you know, like, I think something that Mia said sticks with him. Do you think he's got like a Hannah Montana situation where he sort of puts the suit on? Best of both worlds? Yeah. Chill it out, take it slow?

I don't know, man. I don't know why that's in my head and I don't know how it got there because I don't know what that song is. You get the best of both worlds. Chill it out, take it slow. That's when you're being just regular high school student. Then you rock out the show. That's when you're being a pop star. What do you think of Miley Cyrus' trajectory

in the sort of public life? It's about right. She's done really well. I think so too. Considering the strain and pressure she would have put under as a Disney star. Yeah. She's sort of formed her own

both musical and just personal identity. Yeah. She seems pretty happy. She seems cool. She dated a guy who we have on our body forgot about that yeah how's how have you checked out um his new show no but i hear it's good yeah same i gotta watch it because i actually got quite into uh the fuck what's it called again i know the new one's called generation v uh it's the boys Boys, thank you. He got cast in Tim Tebow.

Tim Tebow was a quarterback for the Denver Broncos, the NFL team I support. He's a big Bible-loving man. He's a very unique guy. He's got a somewhat unusual story. Was he involved in Deflategate? No, no, no. Was that Brady?

That was Tom Brady, yeah. Anyway, he's going to be in that. But I just want to go back. I want to close the loop on this Brian O'Connor thing because I think he could conceivably go back to the force. But I just think Mia, they sit down. She doesn't drink anything out of a brand new porcelain cup at a diner. And she says, do you ever think maybe instead of being the good guy

who has to pretend to be bad, you're the bad guy pretending to be good? I think some of that, I think with his behavior in previous movies that we're about to see, where he has to betray the family, still weighs on him. And I think all of that means that his path towards, and I don't want to call him a criminal, I just think being a renegade, I think living outside of the traditional bounds of the law, not in a way that is aggressive to civilians, but just in a way that, you know, they know more. It is crazy actually to think about in this movie

how they're just like, he's a cop and Dom's like a street racer still. Think about how they are like a crack squad of people who are perpetually saving the world. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like by the end, you know, when does that turn take place? No, I guess we're the most qualified people to answer that turn take place no I guess in F5 in F5 it's a heist

where do I qualify people to answer that in F6 it's F6 F6 is when the rock comes and recruits them and says I need your help yeah

F5 they're just stealing money from people in F6 it's like okay we've got the money we need that's true you know you're right

let's pitch in and then so from F6 onwards it's like they're just they're just creating more and more elaborate ways to save the world it's a pretty big

journey isn't it from like just two young guys in Los Angeles it's huge which we haven't seen yet but it's what I understand it's going

to be we almost have now we've seen a lot of Los Angeles we've seen a lot of Paul Walker we've seen a lot of Dom Dom said Vin've seen a lot of Paul Walker. We've seen a lot of Dom. Dom said, Vin Diesel said he was only going to do F4

if Paul Walker came back for it. Wow. That was their condition. Really? Yeah. Shit. Like that you're using they, them pronouns for Vin Diesel? That's very good.

Yeah. Not, um, that's just sort of how I was talking about Vin. Yeah. Don't know where So it's just sort of how I was talking about Vin. Yeah. Don't know where it came from. Vin Diesel. Vincenzo Chiesel. What I was going to say is... I guess it's a shining light,

and it's maybe harsh because it's not a total celebration of... You know, there's not a lot of moments of cinema in this, I don't think. I think it's a movie. But there's one where, Here he is, Roger Ebert in his bloody beach chair.

Like Gene Siskel. They're in Mexico. It's at the climax of the movie. Brian O'Connor and Dom Toretto take Braga. One thing I'll miss is the way they say Braga and saying Braga.

The role of the R. You can keep saying it that way if you want. Braga. thing I'll miss is the way they say Braga and saying Braga the role of the R you can keep saying it that way if you want Braga and also I think he's known as Santos at the time but the actor who plays Braga

because you know Braga is he's running multiple identities yeah the way that he talks about Braga in the third person the relish with which he keeps talking about

any of these any of these you see these what does he call them what does he say these cats you see these, any of these, you see these, what is he called? What does he say? These cats, you see these cats? Any of them would die for Braga. Even you?

Especially me. And it's like the way that he relishes in talking about Braga in the third person. And the other good one is when he's taking the phone call from Dom to Rito and Dom's trying to make the trade. Braga would never go for that. We'll either, I deal with Braga, or you do. Beat, when and where.

Yeah. So good. He's such a fun actor, man. He is, he's good. I'm so, like, and I could see it from F, I want to say 7, when we see him in jail. I think it's later than 6 I would defer to your judgement on that Yeah, you're right

because Paul Walker's in it You could tell from the brief screen time he had in there that this guy fucks, and I'm so delighted that as we backtracked How does that recontextualise your favourite moment I would argue from F6 and maybe the whole season It deepens it

It opens the door How does that recontextualize your favorite moment, I would argue, from the F6 and maybe the whole season? It deepens it. You're lucky these bars are between us. Opens the door. So good, man. You like that? I reckon that is my shining light of the entire franchise. You're lucky these bars are between us. I am feeling weirdly proud of my Paul Walker there. Just a little bit of pride, yeah. you man thanks tim there's nothing wrong with taking pride in your paul walker um impression i think my favorite uh

my shining light in this one though is so that brian and vin have braga and they're driving they're breaking away from mexico they've hijacked him in a Catholic cathedral and they've got him in the car and they're driving him back to the States. Which goes against what we've been told

is going to happen. Yeah. Because they're all talking about killing him and then suddenly we're driving him back. And so, and then like,

there's a card game and you know, everyone's on walkie talkies and they're saying Braga's been kidnapped or whatever. And there's an action point where there's four guys

playing cards I guess one of them is a henchman who we just aren't familiar enough with to know their name but it's like a shot of all four people

from the card table springing to action and it's just it's a really small moment but it's one where it's something Phoenix is in the middle of the shot

no Phoenix is at the cock fight next oh shit you're right sorry you're right the lesser henchman but it's oh shit you're right sorry you're right the other lesser henchmen but that it's only if you've like when you make

a 48 hour film festival if you've made a short film or just filmed anything it's very hard you know it's something that you'd forget but it's a hard thing to do is to

have people in action or moving before the start of the shot so that they're not static and then moving and it's just a moment

where they miss that in this so it's like I thought that's what not static and they're moving and it's just a moment where they miss that in this so it's like I thought that's what you thought had happened it's just it's not what's happened what's happened

they're responding to the to the call on the walkie there's a big walkie and it comes through I know but they're not so that you can see the reaction they're all at a card table

they're playing cards they've got cards in their hand no one is there's no action they're all they're all totally still like waiting for the call so it's like okay and we're set and they're already sitting there looking at their cards like a painting and then they say action and then so what you see it's like second

action yeah so in the frame what you see is just four people sitting still and then you can basically hear just an in-call action and you see four people and like you know it's like on a video game when all of the um like nprs are npcs are set to move it at the exact same time and it's like on a video game when all of the NPCs are set to move at the exact same time. Do you know what that might have been? Second unit director. It would not surprise me. If Justin was involved, it wouldn't have happened. Really?

It wouldn't have happened on his watch. He's got an eye for detail, I assume. He does. He's put together a pretty tidy film in this one. I'll admit that. It just is not for me anymore two watches of this film i think is fine anything beyond that is kind of fucking annoying i never totally warmed to this iteration and i think i roll the tape because i'm pretty sure on

the first watch we were both pretty enthused no i mean you might i i remember i think one of my early criticisms was that this is a film unclear of itself. Was that our last watch of it? Yeah. Have we got one more? Is that gone now? Walk free. Do we get to go to Tokyo now?

Yeah. Tokyo? We always talk about Tokyo. Yeah. Nice. I know. It's going to be fun. I think it's going to be Han-centric.

I mean, what do you think we're going to see? Oh, God, I'm looking forward to that. Also, like, it's non- And Gal Gadot? It's non-canon. Is that true? We don't know if this is, I'm not having this conversation on the pod again.

This is Gal Gadot's onscreen debut, this movie. Of film, generally. This film, yeah. Oh, the one,

what, Tokyo Drift? What we just watched. Gotcha. Well, how do they retcon that? Cause like at the end of, what was it?

Six when she says, you know, no, seven. We always talk about Tokyo You would assume what we're going to be treated to Or what she's referring to Is seeing a lot of her and Han together in Tokyo No but this is

I actually It genuinely bends my brain Because doesn't three chronologically Come after Six or seven Stop I've stopped chronologically come after six or seven stop I've stopped I'm actually straining

I'm straining myself to figure out how they've constructed this we've been through this numerous times and I can't remember it but Tokyo Drift we haven't helped ourselves have we Tokyo Drift is you would expect one of us

to be better at this you are you are better at this than me but both of us are worse than average by far this whole remembering this whole season it feels like a tube of toothpaste and you know like in say in a colgate tube they've got the like three colors yeah feels like there's nine colors and when so there's nine colors to the toothpaste and when they got them in the tube it's very clear which color goes where and then when you squeeze it out they swirl and that's what it feels like trying to separate out which movies which it's just become one we've mixed all the paints yeah we've just got brown faster than the brownies the brownies is? Is it still recording? Yeah, it is. Good, good, good, good.

Yeah, yeah. It's just a big mush of going to space, robbing someone of a bank vault, crashing an airplane, getting a nuclear sub fucking hacked and hijacked. What if I told you, you know, Charlize Theron, Helen Mirren, John Cena, Jason Statham. What if I told you all of these people are in this franchise?

It's a galaxy of stars, isn't it? It really is. The Rock is in this franchise. Yeah. Do you know that? I can't think of anyone else. I can't believe he hasn't managed to forge his path yet. Ludacris is in this franchise.

That's crazy too. We must be about to meet Ludacris. No, no. Didn't we last movie though? No, no, no. Wasn't that the unexpected? He was called back. Ludacris was in a flashback.

So did we get introduced to Tyrese in the next one? No. Have we seen both of them? We don't know. We're going to meet them both still. In two? Or three? Three. No, I might be wrong. Just so everyone knows, next one no have we seen both of them but we don't know we're gonna meet them both in two or three three i haven't no i might be wrong just so everyone knows when we say three we're talking

about tokyo drift when there was a thing when paul walker died and there was a flashback remembering i feel like there was a frame with ludicrous with the big oh boy i'm off but they played in a um clothing store as in at the mall recently and boy it took the Tear to my eye But sorry you go I think we see Ludacris With the big afro Oh yeah you're right That's Tokyo Drift I reckon Do you know what I'm excited for

In Tokyo Drift I've said it before The Teriyaki Boys Fuck yeah dude And I never watched it Were they in it Or did they do some soundtrack They got a soundtrack

They got a song in it And it used to go In the university hostel I was in Yeah We used to use it To wake each other up hell yeah it's like i think it's like called tokyo just like i wonder if you know wonder if you tokyo did they see me when they see me i say fire can i say this drift drift dudes rock dudes rock yeah dudes rock man Drift. Dudes rock. Dudes rock, yeah. Dudes rock, man.

And that's, I think, just about going to do it for us. My shining light, thanks for asking. No worries. It's just how captivating Mia looks in the last bit when they're busting Dom Toretto out of the federal prison transport bus. It's awesome. She looks amazing. The car is fucking sick sick is tim not a man of flesh and blood she looks hot but she looks fucking cool too she's in like a leather because in all the

rest of it she's wearing very like girly clothes like almost literally i think there's frills and stuff details on her tops and things but in this she's like leather jacket um black hair it's straight it's actually the fringe is like this hard cut thing and she's in there sick as honda it's a delight to see her behind the wheel yeah she looks powerful i think we're gonna see more of that too well i look what do you think happens in tokyo drift uh alice sneddon's critiques be damned i think she looks great huh tokyo drift what about it what's the plot here it is we travel to japan and we must foil an assassination attempt on shinzo abe all right it's too close to home and the chronology is all wrong so i'm sorry if anyone

from japan is listening that's insensitive um i reckon it's So I'm going to look forward to it. Sorry if anyone from Japan is listening. That's insensitive. I reckon we're going to be spending a lot of time on, I've forgotten the name, but it's really famous and I've been there, that square. It's like one of my most photographed squares. I think I remember there's a frame of someone drifting through one of those squares. It's Statham. Is Statham going to be in this movie?

No. That's a retcon. They introduce him later. But that shot that's at the end of, I want to say. I'm calling it this. Too Brown. With Russell. Too Delirious.

With fucking Kurt Russell. You think we're cooked. Yeah. Our brains for this franchise are too much. Too Brown, Too Delirious. What do you think is going to happen? What do you want to happen in Tokyo Drift? I forgot Kurt Russell's in these movies.

I don't think any more for us, sadly. Which sucks. Han is street racing. And you know that Texan guy who was putting a... Oh, yeah. I think he's the hero. Yeah, boy. And I think Bow Wow's in there,, boy. And I think Bow Wow's in there too.

Okay. I think Bow Wow's... I don't know. I think it's a car race. I think Han's got to win a car race. Thanks, guy. You called it... I called it here first.

Huge guess. All right. Well, there's only one way to find out, and that's us watching Tokyo Drift, which we'll be doing next. Hey, it's been a pull watch today, guys. We had to mix it up. We insisted.

What's happening on December 15th? I'm glad you asked. We're doing a live show at the Hollywood Avondale where we will be, for the first time ever, watching The Fast and the Furious. We're screening it. So if you just want to watch the movie. Big screen. You can do that.

You can come to the Hollywood. It's probably the most beautiful cinema in all of New Zealand. They're hosting the event. they'll put the movie on i believe it's a 35 mil print this ain't digital oh my god i think that's true okay i could be wrong but either way it's on the cinema it's got proper sound and then we will take the stage in front of that big projected screen and reflect reflect our thoughts um we would love for you to join us tickets should be on sale now i fucking hope thomas coddell's done some more beautiful artwork for it he has and um we also

will be god willing live streaming it um which will cost money because it's going to cost money for me to put that together if you live in the world that's for people who got a highest people yeah yeah so if you exist in the world if you didn't make like f9 and fuck off out of orbit then you too can enjoy oh actually starlink you might still be able to watch it yeah give it a go and we'll put some links in the show notes okay okay yeah anything you want to uh closing thoughts here guy no i mean i can't believe what a beautiful day it is and what a beautiful pool you have that was a lovely swim it was it was an enjoyable conversation i think i probably got a bit of sun i think i'm I can't believe what a beautiful day it is and what a beautiful pool you have that was a lovely swim it was an enjoyable conversation

I think I probably got a bit of sun I think I'm burned if you want to see two white boys just roasting head along to the sub stack if you want to see Tim and I applying sunscreen individually to our thighs our exposed thighs

we have an opportunity for you. Yeah. Yeah. 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1