The Worst Idea Of All Time - 44: Emmanuelle, Sex and Chocolate

Episode Date: November 2, 2021

This is the end, my friends. The final only-released-in-Japan Emmanuelle has been found for the fellaz to watch and review by an anonymous person (thank you). This so called "Willy Wonka" Emmanuelle is disappointingly light on the parody of the beloved child-destroying vision by a Dutchman and instead is a boring story about nanotechnology. Bananas are back but will they be used in coitus? Penis straws are inserted between toes and Emmanuelle's deepest desire turns out to be turning into a James Cameron character (and not the one you'd first think). George and the Boner Inspector stop by and the boys make plans for the end of the season. GUY'S SPECIAL ON BANDCAMPSUPPORT US ON PATREON: (patreon.com/TWIOAT)JOIN US ON FACEBOOK: (facebook.com/WorstIdeaOfAllTime)VISIT THE LITTLE EMPIRE PODCAST NETWORK: (littleempirepodcasts.com)MUSIC CREDIT: Tender Moonlight (facebook.com/TenderMoonlight)ART CREDIT: Tomas Cottle (sick-days.com) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

🎵 Me? Really? You want me to start off? You want me to tell you how I'm feeling after watching this Emmanuel 6 chocolate? What was this called? That's a great question. According to the file I have in front of me it's called movie five we found the japanese only released emmanuel love sex and chocolate that sounds right yeah i just like i didn't even sex chocolate in emmanuel oh that's what it's called. Okay, I actually like my one better. So this was called Love, Sex and Chocolate,

Emmanuel Through Time. And pretty sure this has got to be the last one of the Emmanuel Through Time's made. A true rarity. So a lot of Emmanuel heads online trying to track this one down. This was only released in the territory of Japan on DVD, which is now out of print. And one of our legendary listeners, who I will not name

because they told me specifically that the copyright laws in Japan are not to be trifled with, managed to order the DVD. So they did buy it. They ordered the DVD, got it delivered to their place, ripped it, converted it, and sent us the file. And I like. I respect it. And actually, you know, as a part-time completionist,

I find the legwork and the satisfaction at the end of this journey or towards the end of this journey, knowing that we've collected them all very satisfying. But that is... I'm appreciative. But by the same token, I wish that this movie wasn't the one that I had just seen. There is a different movie.

There was a different way to do a take on Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory in the Emmanuel universe. Because this was just a fucking mess. And I feel sad. I feel so sad for having watched this film. I totally agree with that. I guess it's my simple brain, but when I knew that we were having an Emmanuel

set in a Willy Wonka sort of style, but sexy universe. But sexy. I guess there was a picture that was in my mind's eye, which was a sexy next to the chocolate waterfall from the Gene Wilder Willy Wonka. It was that sort of really well-lit, colourful room with a lot of green in it and then this big natural...

This is my memory. You could fuck everything. Instead of everything being edible, you could fuck every single thing in the factory so everything was just like a dildo or a flashlight or it's some other cool shit i haven't had an anus just everything is fuckable that's not what i had but i like your one and like you know the schnozberries taste like schnozberries same where he licks the wallpaper that's got the different flavors what does he say instead of schnozberries taste like schnozberries same where he licks the wallpaper that's got the different flavors what does he say instead of schnozberries tim i think each one of the things is like a different kind of vagina that you're eating i don't know what the line is but probably

the vaginas taste like vaginas delightfully and uncharacteristically sexually vivid of you, Tim, which really tells me where you're at. I just hated this. I hated this movie. Although I probably didn't give it as good enough an opportunity to wow me as I could have. But this sucked. And it didn't even do any Willy Wonka shit. Like, they just took the name Willy Wonka

and called a woman Willa Wanker. And that was it. That was the extent of it. Also, pretty unusual hearing the word wanker in an American accent. Yeah, they say it wrong for sure. It just doesn't quite feel right i want to find an online plot synopsis because i couldn't even follow the fuck was going well i would just say um you know to counter your negative experience i didn't i it lagged towards the end but certainly

i gave it quite a lot of runway to enjoy and it didn't really bother me i just sort of got the more they introduced like extraneous plot details um because really you just want them it's sort of like the last one we saw that emmanuel fucks in the woods or whatever you just want them to be like it's in a sex factory yeah but you don't want them to explore whether or not Willa Wanker is good or evil. All of that stuff is what really dragged this movie down. Yeah, they got confused. They got waylaid by the moral play of Willa Wanker,

who was sort of presented as a proprietor of, or maybe that was the other character actually, a proprietor of like six products, but then was revealed to be a master of nanotechnology in a real left turn at the end. Yeah. There's a big nanotechnology inspired conclusion that was near the handle there for mine i'm glad that you enjoyed

this more than i did guy this um this whole podcast is such a journey for us but particularly this season it really it feels like a adventure is a strong word but i'm going to use it it feels like a real adventure sometimes you're having a great time and sometimes it's a strong word, but I'm going to use it. It feels like a real adventure. Sometimes you're having a great time, and sometimes it's a really tough slog. I just think that before they got confused by what they were doing, there was some good fun and games. Tell me what happened, Guy. Tell me about this movie.

Tell me about the plot. Basically, what's the name of the woman who just can't help herself but have sex or masturbate wherever she is on the blimp renee renee your beloved renee yeah the long and short of it is she couldn't help herself she had sex with one of the men who's in army fatigues there are people in army fatigues on the blimp yeah they're rocking around with colonel sanders you see yeah and uh basically he's like i don't know about this and she's like we have to fuck next to the fuck machine the generator it's a generator it's a it's a generator that creates wormholes and it's powered by sexual

energy that is correct and uh i guess there's something about the forbidden fruit that really fired up that generator to take them somewhere ridiculous, which was externally from the blimp it looked like pretty normal. They're usually in front of a green screen of a rainforest, and it appeared they were in front of a green screen of a different rainforest. But on Emmanuel.tv there was an ad that played for Willow Wanker's Sex Emporium. And again, here's an area where it's disappointing

because you're like, wow, we're finally going to Willow Wanker's Sex Emporium. I wonder what incredible creations and what interesting rooms and the creative ways that members of the core group of people will be peeled off from the group because they can't contain their lustful desires to fuck all of these exciting machines. But instead they just go to a warehouse-sized sex shop and they're looking around.

Can I just say, because this is actually probably my shining light of the whole movie, but speaking of machines that you want to fuck the bit that you've just referenced which is in about sort of minute uh 10 to 12 of the movie where there's that ad that features my favorite thing in this whole film this movie came out in 2012 i don't know what phone it is that she's holding but in the ad she's got a mobile a mobile phone that's got two screens side by side like the samsung the folding thing that yeah came out like this year for fucking two thousand dollars i don't know what that thing was but is it just is it further you know aside inside of your initial aside yeah what is What is the value of this Samsung flip phone that flips and has two of the same screen?

I mean, I think the thing is we've had the same sort of phone since the iPhone came out. It's just a slab of glass in the shape of a pack of cards. Like it is, you know, they tweak it every year, little tweaks here and there. But, I mean, how the fuck are we going to keep selling these things? They they're all the same how do we keep selling them every year when they're all the same i know we'll make them bend in half in different and interesting ways the idea i think is supposed to be that we we get to the point where it's like your phone turns into a tablet but um yeah i

understand i don't know the world of technology kind of makes me borderline suicidal at the moment because we're in lockdown and it's just like the thing I need in my life and I would hasten to suggest all of us need right now is less screen. Yeah, but Samsung have doubled the amount of screen. And the thing that shits me is in the ad, they all pretty much carried around like a regular phone until they have to like take a phone call or send an email have you seen one have you seen one in real life no our friend leon has one leon who goes to new york and la and stuff yeah he's

got one and um he's all about it but i'll tell you what he looks like a fucking idiot when he uses it and he's also like you know whatever fucking thing he got marketed and bought he's very evangelical about that thing until the next piece of marketing comes along anyway i'd really love to know what that phone is that she's holding and let me let me get it's disappointing that i think i've let my shining lights fall by the wayside during the um emmanuel adventures i don't think i've let my shining lights fall by the wayside during the Emmanuel adventures. I don't think I've had one every episode, and I really should have, and that's on me.

It's a life lesson. It's very easy, especially in a lockdown, Tim, to cease to value the things that help get you through a day or a screening of a different Emmanuel film. Yeah. And I'm glad you brought yours up. I'll just do mine as well while I remember, And I'm glad you brought yours up.

I'll just do mine as well while I remember, which was later in the film, there was a woman who was being detained. Willa Wanker is not who she says she is. And she steals intellectual property from her employees and then is convinced that she has turned everyone into a lesbian, which, you know, in a sentence actually sounds like a lot of fun. In the movie, they somehow make it really fucking boring. But she's detaining one of her top scientists,

the woman from whom she's stolen most of the intellectual property, and her former lover who left her for a man, which, you know, sort of informs her origin story as a villain. She's detaining her former lover, this scientist, and she's, like, strapped down to a chair. And then the way that she's being strapped down to a chair and in the way that she's being detained appears to be from this like sort of rotating this miniature rotating ferris wheel where all of the characters are tongue so it's like this wheel of a thousand tongues

and she's detained and as punishment i guess the wheel spins around and around it's like i guess her vagina is constantly being tongue to either by one tongue or by like you know yeah it's like a water wheel a water wheel of tongues um and it was like it's not really addressed it's not no none of the characters notice that it's literally great for like four seconds but it's so funny someone in the props department has built and they're like this and then the drink's like yeah sure put it in and it's like it's quite insane yeah it is and it really like again it opens up a portal to a much more interesting and better movie where it's like we could look at all of the insanely pleasurable torture devices willow wankers made to like

handle all of her um dissenting employees but so jettisoning any attempts to explain the plot of this movie let's just talking about the most let's discuss the most bat shit moments of it there is a fucking scene so it's later it's later revealed that this is um one of the emmanuel.tv blimp cast members or crew members uh vr dream so i think the vr machine is eliciting their sexual desires yeah yeah you don't know this time just inside of this i'd like to say what when we're watching this this is when i'm still enjoying the movie at this point it's like we're in this world yeah before it's revealed it's a dream and i'm like yeah well this is kind of fanciful fair enough um so that well i don't even know if we're talking about the same back because there's one with It's a dream. And I'm like, well, this is kind of fanciful. Fair enough.

Well, I don't even know if we're talking about the same bat because there's one with Emmanuel, which is even crazy, but I'll let you get into that. I think we're thinking the same on the first one. So there's a woman who's like on a beach and it's like, I don't know how else to say it. She gets attacked by a bunch of sand dildos, know how else to say it she gets attacked by a bunch of sand dildos which are um completely uh uh depowered of their own volition and appear to have some cognizance and they're like living things that go through the sand yeah they're dildos they're not made of sand they're just

dildos that live in sand and And they operate like the fin in jaws. They're just like roaming around, quite freaky-like. You know it's jaws because they took the, whatever those opening chords of jaws are like, they took them and changed them both. Like one of them they made slightly flat and the other one they made sharp or something. It's like,

but you know that what they're saying is this is a bit like jaws but with dildos and there's a bunch of them and they attack this woman who's just like sunbathing on a beach on a towel and uh she's terrified but then she's into it but then and this is one of the wilder moments of the whole Emmanuel through time thing. They all start jizzing on you. Bukkake style. Yeah. Some of them are blurred out and some of them are not.

Well, I don't know what the difference is between. I mean, at this point, it seems vital to mention that as this is, you know, this is a property that we've received from Japan. who mentioned that as this is a property that we've received from Japan, and anyone who's watched a modicum of pornography might know that Japanese porn is always these pixelated. The rules are you've got to blur out the cocks. You've got to blur the cocks. You've got to blur the mons pubis. You've got to blur the cocks. You've got to blur the mons pubis. You've got to obviously blur the vagina. It appears you have to blur the anus, and sometimes you don't. And also,

sometimes you've got to blur underpants. Well, I'd like to bring your attention to Japanese criminal code article 175, which states that indecent works must be censored. The pixelated blur became the industry standard and was accepted by the government. So it's right there in their laws. Wow, you can imagine that our one libertarian listener is absolutely spewing at the fact the government decides, you know. That one was

from reddit this one is from kora um all forms of pornography made in japan must follow the regulations of the obscenity act which forbids showing genitals without pixelating or otherwise covering the area you wouldn't expect it given the sort of reputation and profile japan has with regards to the adult industry, but the law is quite strictly enforced. It's only been in recent years that the law has been relaxed substantially with regard to artistic

works. And that was an answer left in 2015. This movie was made in 2012, so maybe if the Emmanuel series was going now and went to Japan we'd have a different story. If you can't find what you want on Reddit, there's a pretty good chance you can find it on Quora.

Shout out to our sponsor, Quora. Yeah, thanks, Quora. It still doesn't answer my question. What is the difference between these two kinds of dildos? Am I led to believe that they used actual penises for the ones that were blurred in the sand? Because the crazy thing was, let's say there's 20 penises around here,

which is roughly the math. That's about right. So it's four sides. You know how a rectangle works. All those walls are lines of dildos that are jizzing on here. And in the four corners, those are the ones that are visible. And those ones are purple dildos that are jizzing on him and in the four corners those are the ones that are visible and those ones are purple dildos but they've still got sperm coming out it's sort of like a cgi effect

thing the other ones are blurred so that would mean i mean i would have thought it'd be more efficient to use four real penises at the corner and fill the rest out with dildos the thing is if if you're gonna to blur it anyway, you could use whatever the fuck you want. But this is what I'm saying, Guy. They don't blur the corner ones. Those are fully visible. It's only the ones in between the corners that are blurred.

What's different about them? Those were, if my memory serves, because they're featured in a pretty intense sex. So, you know, amongst all of these different Jaws dildos, you've sort of got your one star dildo, which is what Tim's described as like your purple penis size dildo. And then all of the other ones, to me at least, appeared to be like from the factory floor, those sort of penis straws that you might see on a bachelorette party are the ones that go in between your toes no you're so wrong so there's another there's another

shot in this scene where the ones that guy's talking about they're kind of like they're actually more realistic than a bachelorette party penis straw they they kind of look like tiny penises like they're slightly more anatomically correct than a penis straw. Again, while we're here, can I just say as an aside, what an incredible ongoing motif for a bachelorette party for everything to be penis themed. Just sensational. Like penis straws, hilarious.

It is funny. It is a good gag and a great scene. Who penis straws? Hilarious. It is funny. It is a good gig and a great thing. Who is that for? How did that become the thing? Well, guys, you know how we all don't have sex before marriage still? Yes. In this year of our Lord 2021? That's what it's about.

It's about, hey, here's this funny body part you've never seen before that you're going to have to get used to. Yeah, yeah. Get familiar with it. Yeah, that's this funny body part you've never seen before that you're going to have to get used to. Yeah, yeah. Get familiar with it. Yeah, that's great. There are these slightly more anatomically correct versions of a penis straw that go in between. It's like silicone penis straws.

In between your toes on the beach, which is quite a ghastly image. Those ones aren't blurred, guy. So you're wrong again. I know they're not blurred, but I'm saying I feel like the point of differentiation is that when those more realistic penis straws ejaculate en masse while, you know, cornered by the- So Japan's indecency laws line in the sand is purple dildo,

you can jizz out of that. Fleshy dildo, we can see that. Fleshy dildo jizzing no that's the literal line in the sand wow but you know what when you lay it all like that i don't know if this is your intention but that kind of makes sense to me because the purple dildo is too far from a penis you know a non-ejaculating straw is just a straw but as soon as you make a straw come that's a cock and i just want to emphasize to everyone that when tim's talking about these penis straws fucking the toes so you've got four gaps between your five toes i think i'm doing that right yeah

there's a straw on every toe. And it looks amazing. So now I would like you guys to describe the next VR sequence that happens with Emmanuel. I can't even really remember. All I remember is the key bit. Yeah. So basically I was messaging you at the start of the film, Tim, because as you expect in a movie called Emmanuel's Sex, bit yeah so basically i was messaging you at the start of the film tim because um as you expect in a movie called emmanuel's sex love and chocolate or whatever also i've got to

say every time i hear the title or try to think of the title it just makes me think of a moz def song i used to love it's got the coolest like jazz flute sample it's called sex love and money and um you could listen put it on you know, after the podcast, the first eight bars. If you like that, I'll really hook you in. But they're introducing food play again. And honestly, it's quite a nice touch. It's an homage. It's a nod to the fact that, you know,

if not Emmanuel always, the surrounding characters in the Emmanuel universe love to fuck with food. Yeah. And this is, you know, the word chocolates in the titlemanuel universe love to fuck with food yeah and this is you know the word chocolates in the title you can assume that and emmanuel and i can't remember her handsome sort of romantic partner on the blimp's name is that william we can call him william i think it's william i'm pretty sure that's he's like she's talking about how she's got this great french wine and he's like seducing her with this fondue and there's all this food cut up and he's dipping chocolate and like offering it to her and it's kind of starting to get quite sexy.

And it's quite honestly, it's like quite an emotionally grounded, like more of a love making scene. Yeah. It's not really just raw sex and it's also not like one of the weird, fanciful like sort of fantasy sex scenes that we've seen in so many of these Emmanuel Through Time films. And this was so brilliant raw sex and it's also not like one of the weird fanciful like sort of fantasy sex scenes that

we've seen in so many of these emmanuel through time and this was so brilliant because i'm just trying to find your comment shit where is it because you you mentioned that out loud to me you said this is like the truest moment of porn in this film i felt like that a few times here we go this is kind of the most pure porn of this badge these guys are making love and then i replied wait for it yes well yeah yeah well i'll get to the point at which you said wait for it and by the way we were not watching this in exact synchronicity i was ahead so i knew what was going on but I read wait for it like in literally less than a breath later what I was waiting for

was upon me and it was a very very satisfying wait like it was so good but so he's playing with this food and he's got banana chopped up makes all the different stuff for fondue at one point she dips a dildo in the chocolate and offers it to him and he does a sort of coy like no no no face well someone's

gonna suck the chocolate tip of this dildo and she you know does that but um all i could look at was there's this chopping board where he'd gone to all the trouble of like cutting up this fruit to dip in the fondue and there's like strawberries which is the most traditional to dip in the fondue. And there's like strawberries, which are the most traditional, marshmallows. And then there's also all these like sliced up pieces of banana.

And if there's one thing I know about these Emmanuel films, it's like they love getting a banana in there. And as soon as I saw the banana, I don't know if this is about, this definitely is reflective of where I am and the entire journey we've been on. I was like, oh, I do not want to see how you

incorporate a sliced banana into a sex scene i was like on the edge of my seat with fear anyway they blow right can i just say this so i remember so little from like all of these movies but the scene that is just burned into my memory which i think i'll take to my dying day is the emmanuel where they're a band yeah and that whole food fucking scene is so like vividly in there like i can see the the the bowls of food i can see the table laid out yeah that was so fucked up it was a real high it was a high watermark someone was filleting a peeled banana, and then I can't tell if I made this up or not. Either way, it's fucked that it's put on my head,

but she bites off the end of the banana. You couldn't handle that. Anyway, so it's a case of what we're calling Emmanuel's banana. They have this lovely lovemaking scene, and I'm like, they didn't use the banana, but I'm not relaxing until didn't use the banana. But I'm not relaxing until I see it put in the compost or something because I know it's out there. And then later on, not unlike this woman who sort of had this VR sex

dream on a beach, Emmanuel has a sex dream back on the blimp with William, her partner,'s like sort of shows up it's all it's been quite a fanciful sort of film but all of a sudden it's all back to the you know the boring reality it said on where they travel the world on this blimp with a glass floor and travels through wormholes using a fuck generator they fuck on the um on the blimp floor which is see-through which we've they've done that in a previous movie. We've commented on it. It's a great way to fuck.

And it's a great way to design a blimp. But they have another really tender and beautiful lovemaking scene, and then they finish, and she's like, Emmanuel's sort of like rinsed out and knackered, and he's like, but we've got to have dessert. sort of like rinsed out and knackered and he's like but we gotta have dessert and she says um uh she's like oh no we've i'm full and he's like no no you gotta have dessert and then he comes back over and i'm just shitting myself that he's going to be carrying like a handful of sliced brown banana and he doesn't he brings out a grape or might what looks like a grape but it

turns out he rolls it along your body and i'm like it's a grape or it might what looks like a grape but it turns out he rolls it along her body and i'm like it's a grape right is that a chocolate it looks like a malteser maybe and he puts it in her mouth and she's taken this um and it's like as all of this is happening is when tim messages me saying wait for it and so i get wait for it and i'm like the banana there's a banana coming but it turns out instead and this is so far from what i imagined but equally incredible it's like a it's a chocolate that willie wanker's developed which makes you so fucking full of sexual energy and she eats it and he's like she's like where'd you get that he's like oh it's a chocolate i took it it from the Willy Wanker sex emporium. And she's like, you what?

Because she knows a little bit about it. She's like, this is not good. And she, in a matter of seconds, becomes like a giant. She becomes an avatar. A Navi. A Navi from James Cameron's Avatar. I'm not saying, we're not telling you that it's like that size or that kind of shade of blue.

No, they painted her to be Navi. Yeah, yeah. It is perfectly like for like. It becomes massive and you're just like, okay, couldn't have seen this coming. But again, a movie that's not afraid to be topical and like reference current pop culture and then the scientist comes in and she immediately knows what's going on so you've got

too much sexual energy you need to do something with that now and because she's a novice she's got this big tail and as soon as she's now she just plants the tail up the scientist's vagina and just like lifts her off the ground until there's a few shots of her toes like reaching for the ground but you can't reach it and just fucks the ever-loving shit out of her the scientist is loving it emmanuel is loving it her um william recovering bow william who's in the refractory period is he doesn't know what to make of the scene that's unfolding in front of him and then the movie is the same pullback and reveal which is like this is emmanuel in the sexy vr this isn't actually happening which is in some ways it's

like shitty because it's like and then i woke up but in other ways is cooler because what this machine i'm pretty sure is designed to do is reveal your greatest sexual, uh, like escapism fantasy. And that is so fucking weird and specific that for Emmanuel to just be rolling around in her head. And it's like, I'm not just into role play.

I'm into a very specific situation where I eat a chocolate and like Alice in Wonderland, it affects my body in a crazy way which is that i get ultra horny and then turn into a navi from avatar yeah fuck someone with my tail it is yeah it's so hyper specific and like you know i'd be so interested to put that vr set on myself just to you know like because i don't think emmanuel knew that was in here right she didn't seem to know that like you know that catches everyone off guard that machine yeah um i just also i forgot to mention i know i was quite i took a while to

describe what was happening there but um there's also more food play with sushi um samantha jones and sex in the city yes and um he he brings out all the sushi and he's just like running it along your body and at one point he um he takes a raw prawn and he's just like running it around the perimeter of her nipple her areola and it's um well it's not arousing. No, it isn't. There's something about the temperature sensitivity of raw fish that just makes the whole affair very high stakes and not very sexually charged. Yeah, yeah. It took me back.

I remember watching Samantha do that in Sex and the City. It was like, how do you think sushi is sexy? Well, no, I actually think they do an all right job using kim cattrall because it's like everything looks very um expensive you know it's a it's a big budget movie so the sushi looks expensive she's she's looks expensive it's all beautifully shot it's like i get it but someone would have to walk in like 30 seconds after you put it on your body for that to be kosher yeah it's i mean money can't buy taste and you know you've got to have like a you know 10 years worth of understanding this is one of the most punctual people in the world to even think about draping your body in raw fish, you know,

and that being both delicious and edible and sexy. I don't have that kind of confidence, and God willing, I never will. I just, like, best case scenario, you eat like $100, $250 worth of raw fish and then fuck. And then you're supposed to have sex on a full tummy of rice and uncooked fish? Doesn't sound ideal. So this movie is kind of, after about the first 40 minutes, centered around Willa Wonka, who we've mentioned,

who makes all these products. And that is portrayed by a woman called Rena Riffle. And she hasn't used a nom de plume in the credits. This is her real ass name, as far as I can tell, or at least it's the name that she uses universally as a stage name. It's her real vagina name as well, Tim. Because you said it's her real ass name. Oh, yeah.

Okay, righto. Thanks. because you said it's her real ass name oh yeah okay yeah okay right thanks she's in showgirls striptease my holland drive and a bunch of other movies and i can tell you that because there is not a doubt in my mind that she wrote her own wikipedia page it is long for someone who's she's got a lot of credits you know i can't deny she's done a lot of stuff and my holland drive this is a big movie you know huge i've not said you know i don't know if i've seen any david lynch films i think i've seen my holland drive and i can't remember fucking any of it it was a long time ago it was a bit of a trip um Rena Riffle also if I'm understanding

yeah she did so she was in Showgirls I think it's like you know not one of the stars another movie I've not seen and then she just was like I'm going to make the sequel

and she did she made Showgirls 2 Pennies from Heaven which came out in 2011 starred written produced edited And she did. She made Showgirls 2, Pennies from Heaven, which came out in 2011, starred, written, produced, edited, directed by Rena Riffle, who reprises her role from the first film. She's in a lot of stuff. Now, this Wikipedia page of hers goes into such detail

that it is mentioning, like on uh kimmel which is generally such extraneous detail that you know if anyone else was visiting this wikipedia page it would be taken out because there's certain guidelines around you know how much detail we really need on a wikipedia page however there is not one single goddamn mention of this movie on here, which, in my mind, reads to me that she is the reason this only came out in Japan. I think she intervened once she kind of figured out what this was and what was going on. And I think she, like, tried to do everything she could to make sure that it wouldn't come out. And she couldn't do that. So she managed to get, what's his name, Strunsky?

Alan Strunsky. Alan Strunsky, to somehow they formed some arrangement where it would just come out in the territory of Japan. That is fascinating. What do you think? Well, she's like, we've not seen her before. She's an outside presence, and she's clearly like one of the stronger actors in the cast.

She's a proper actor, yeah. I mean, not like a, you know, she's not winning an Oscar for her performance in this movie. No, no, no. But you can tell she knows her way around the movie set. She's like further along in her career or at least in her confidence than a lot of the others Yeah

I mean We're so far down the rabbit hole with these movies Like part of me When it was like oh no this one only came out in Japan Yes that obviously strikes me as unusual But also I'm like well That's what's going to happen sometimes Is you're going to watch so many Emmanuel movies

That you come across one that's only available in Japan. I thought going into this that it was going to be like a kind of Japanese version of Emmanuel. Like either this wasn't Emmanuel through time. So I didn't know if it was part of the series and that actually have like a whole Japanese cast doing porn, but in sort of an emmanuel universe or like the willie wonka character was japanese and maybe and i was also expecting when the movie file came through to us

i was i was expecting it to be dubbed in japanese but it wasn't it was just a normal ass emmanuel through time with like i don't there, there's no real, like, is there anything in the movie to suggest to you that they knew from the outset, this would only come now in Japan and don't mention sushi. Absolutely. Absolutely not. And I didn't even put the sushi thing together.

Like, or because I didn't know anything about it. I kind of expected them when they were like traveling through a wormhole because this fucking blimp goes all around the world. I was like, Oh, it's going to be pretty interesting seeing these guys in Japan. Yeah. But it didn't do that. So I'm thinking this all happened after the fact.

And I'm going to put it to you, Guy Montgomery. One of the only people on earth qualified to entertain and switch this concept around in your mouth to test the validity of it that Rena Riffle is the reason why this only came out in Japan and there is many a frustrated Emmanuel fan online who is absolutely baying for blood for this to be put online

and streamable somehow people really want their fucking hands on this movie that we've got, I don't know how to put it on the torrents without implicating myself somehow. Yeah. Yeah. Look, I've got nothing to say, but I really admire the way your brain works, man. I'm asking you, do you think it stacks up?

Do you think she did this? I'm co-signing that 100%. I'm co-signing that, 100%. I've got nothing to go on except the convincing argument laid forth by my friend Tim Batt, whose brain connects dots in a way that mine quite simply can't. Oh, she's in Striptease, that Demi Moore movie. It was Burt Reynolds. Was that movie well-reviewed or poorly reviewed?

Striptease lacked the momentum that Showgirls gained in its cult status and has subsequently been referred to as one of the worst movies ever made. There you go. I feel like I'd come across that tidbit. Yes. It gets attributed to a lot of films that we brush up against, either for a watch or a year of watches well anything that is you know got a little bit of money behind it and it's bracketed as one of the worst movies of all

time guy this is oh hello hello oh boy hello do you like my hat uh It's a fine hat George Lazenby It's a fedora Yeah I can tell When and where did you get a fedora? I found it Did you? Where did you find a fedora George? On a dead body

Whoa That's pretty full on Yeah it was crazy Where did you see a dead body, George Lazenby? I stepped over one on my way here. Wow. You didn't, you weren't sort of implicated in the body being dead or know how that came to pass or anything?

No, no, no. They were holding a briefcase, an open briefcase, full of diamonds and a fedora. And you, what did you do with the briefcase oh i left it i mean how's the hat wow you're an interesting man george lazenby i know what i like um george we just guy and i just watched a movie yeah i don't don't know. Was I in it? You were not in this movie. I don't know if you caught any of the comments as you were sort of walking up the path there to make it in, but we just watched the last Emmanuel, probably the last Emmanuel movie we'll watch.

I think that's it for us. Well, not if I have my way with the franchise. Yes, I don't know if we've got time for you to sort of make and produce and release a film. We do. There's more coming out. It's me having sex with every single Bond girl in chronological order. I'm just going to double check something, George.

It's called George Lazenby's Emmanuel. You're 82. Yes. Now. Yes. You're going to have sex with all of the Bond girls. I mean. And God willing, by the time I get up to 2021, I'll come and die.

Who's watching this, man? Who's this movie for? I guess you guys. A movie just for us, once again. Well, very kind of you to pitch us a porno, but I think generally the way this works is we sort of bring an idea over to you to see if it would be worth financing.

Don't need an idea. You're already covered. You're good. I got a hat and I got about, I guess, 50, 60 pornos to make. Yeah. I think I can't help but think that you should have taken some of those diamonds in the briefcase or maybe the whole briefcase.

I mean, you had a container to carry the diamonds. You could fund the movie using the diamonds, you see. Also, I think it's sort of worth pointing out that putting the pieces together, it feels like you've implicated yourself in a pretty high-stakes heist, but sort of just to get a hat out of it. But how is the hat?

I mean, the hat sucks, George. No one wears fedoras. Fedoras have become a joke. Hey, fuck you. I'm James Bond. I wear what I like and I'm not afraid of anyone. You keep saying you're James Bond. You were James Bond for one movie in, I believe, the 60s.

Shut your fucking mouth. I came across a very wealthy and influential financier who's also into the creative arts. They're going to help me make these films. They'll play a small supporting role. What film? The films where you fuck all the Bond girls? Is that a series?

I thought you just meant there was going to be like a one release. No. 50, 60 movies. Oh, my God. 50 movies for every Bond girl. And you want to know who's going to be like a one release no 50 60 movies oh different movie for every bond girl and you want to know who's going to play the villain uh who my financier oh wow is there anyone i know i don't know does the name neil breen mean anything to you uh actually yeah it fucking does neil brain wow holy shit i literally couldn't think of anyone better for you to team up with to bring this vision to fruition that is he is a powerful for how much do you know about neil are you sort of are you old friends of his nothing's a recent friendship

on the way here he was fucking hell dude was he implicated in the diamond heist somehow? Because he seems like the kind. No, no, no, but he was covered in blood. Right. Different unrelated matter, though. Presumably. Seemed like a good guy. None of your business.

That's cool, man. Guy and I have actually watched all of Neil Breen's films, except for his most recent release, which doesn't really count as a movie but I think it was like about 7 hours of how to make Hollywood movies Incredibly prodigious young man

Yeah he is, he's a real doer which I respect and I think he's got um, he actually hasn't said a lot about an upcoming project that he's working on right now. Are you guys already in pre-production? Like this underway well we came up with the idea about 15 minutes ago so right right right i guess we are yeah okay maybe not what i'm thinking of though that he was referencing um on his twitter um shit man i tell you what i'm excited george george lazenby i'm

really excited to hear this news. Thank you. It's a real, it's a partnership for the ages. Tragically, some of the Bond girls have since passed on. So Neil's going to use this digital technology he has. Oh, you're going to go Tupac on it? Yeah. It's so cool.

Or I guess because it's film, more like Princess Leia. Whatever you want to call it, man, we're going to make it work. We're going to make a lot of money. That's cool, man. Well, I tell you one thing that I know for sure about Neil Breen, having seen all of his movies, the man knows how to pull off CGI. So I think it's going to be a pretty flawless depiction of these dear departed Bond girls

who I'm sure you've read tastefully. We wanted to be tasteful. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's certainly his forte. The two things you've got to know about Neil Breen, and this is why I'm so delighted that you're teaming up with him. One, tasteful cinema is his forte. Two, the guy knows how to nail computer-generated imagery

for special effects. There's no one better in the biz. Well, I couldn't feel luckier. I mean, I just wanted to get a compliment on my hat, but to hear you say that about Neil really means the world. Yeah, fantastic. All right. Well, George, unless Guy's got any commentary for you it seems

like you're not taking any pictures today so um i actually wanted to cautiously invite you um to the next episode of our podcast and i haven't cleared this with guy yet so i don't know if he's keen to um i'm sure he is look we both think we are huge fans ge. You're a lot of fun to hang out with. What we were thinking of doing to sort of end the Emmanuel season off with, actually we might do something first, but to really cap off this season of our podcast, we were hoping to have you on to ride side saddle with us while we do a director's commentary on Her Majesty's Secret Service, your Bond movie. Oh, my God.

And you could tell us about the sort of behind-the-scenes trivia and what was going on at the time and, you know, how you shot certain things, the movie magic. Well, before I say yes, I've got to warn you boys. Yeah. You know that movie's not a porno. No, I do. Yeah, I do know that. Unless you consider porno no I do unless you consider perfect

acting to be very horny well I kind of do but you know porno or none that's totally fine I just think you've really contributed so much to the season what do you think Guy for some of it all right well it sounds like we've got a plan it sounds like a day

so what i what i thought um guy what i thought we might do is next episode is i think we should uh go back to the start. We've traveled such a long ways from where we left, like a hero's journey. We've left the village of the first ever Emmanuel. We have sacrificed a lot. We have changed. We have grown. And I think we need to return home to complete the hero's journey and see what we've learned and how we've grown.

You're telling me we're watching the very first. That's what I think. I think that's a great idea. I think obviously a huge amount of me wants to put this in the rearview mirror, but there is. I think it's important. I'm with you like I do too, but I feel like it's important. It's satisfying to track all the way back and to be like it's you know it's interesting to observe

and this will afford us that opportunity but like the mutation of something exactly like what if you create something and you put it out into the world yeah as soon as it's released that thing is no longer yours because no one else could possibly interpret it or experience it the way that exactly you imagined. And so for the thing you released to be an intellectual property that is then reinterpreted across so many decades and in so many different ways, it's exciting to go back to the beginning.

Well, that's cool, man. Oh, guy, there's someone at the door. No, he can go fuck himself. No, he seems pretty keen to get in. He's pretty keen to go fuck himself. You don't want to let this gentleman in? He's knocking pretty loudly. Owner Inspector!

Oh, hey, buddy buddy long time no see owner inspector i've got bad news for you my friend yes i've just watched emmanuel uh what i'm calling love sex and chocolate i've i've changed the title slightly for my own purposes i think it's a good punch up dude Dude, not a skerrick of anything. I can't understand how anyone would masturbate to this film. Yeah, and I'm sorry to say, but it's, you know, to watch the sex scenes, you're like, this is the one that they want us to masturbate to the most. But it just wasn't a B.

No, not happening at all. Nothing. No action south of the border. Did anyone suck off a banana? I'm running a new survey. They didn't, but they got pretty fucking... All the equipment was there. The gun was loaded, but it didn't go off.

Oh, well, very good to know. Yeah. Right. See you later, man. Got to go to the local supermarket to know. Yeah. Right. See you later, man. Got to go to the local supermarket to feel the bananas. Very cool. He's out of there, folks. Wow.

And I mean, God, if anything, it's proven that George Lazenby is the world's greatest listener. He's just been sitting in the corner of the room watching all this unfold. George, such a kind and generous conversationalist. But feel free to get out of here and we'll catch you in the next episode. Yeah, cool. Good to see you, though. Thank you.

Fuck. It's going to be a real shame to see the back of those guys. Sure will. It's been nice hanging out with them. So, Guy, I wish you well. Thank you. Oh, actually, before we go can i um advertise myself yeah i'd love that in fact that's probably the thing that's going to get me horniest

out of the past three hours oh yeah man i know you love it when i advertise myself well i just released an hour of me doing stand-up comedy on Bandcamp. And it's my show from this year. I recorded it on the night, I reckon. I did the best show of my life. So what a stroke of luck that is. It's five New Zealand dollars, which is like zero dollars if you're listening in England. The link is presumably in the show notes.

Here's hoping. It's a great show. You'll enjoy it. This is a tuppence to pay to stay in the United Kingdom, which you referenced for some reason. It's nothing. It's zero, yeah. So, you know, get involved.

Get it in you. It's nothing. It's zero, yeah. So, you know, get involved. Get it in, yeah. It's a bloody good time. And I think that concludes the episode. Yeah. Also, a huge thank you to everyone who, if you have, who's already bought it. It's been such a positive experience to put something out into the world.

Yeah. Yeah. Isn't it nice? Yeah. And thank you so much to all the people who reached out as well to help us track down this Emmanuel as well. Yeah. In particular, the person who did. Desire for us to see every Emmanuel is admirable and infuriating. You're getting.