The Worst Idea Of All Time - 44: The Man I Met 10 Years Ago

Episode Date: January 5, 2024

The beginning of the end is upon us—as the lads reflect on what ten years of repeated exposure to a limited pool of movies has done to their ability to review cinema specifically, and their brains more generally. Also, after a second screening it appears that 2 Fast 2 Furious might not quite be the apex of cinema Tim had previously thought. Paul Walker is called out for a weaker acting performance, while Guy maintains he does a fantastic job of hosting the film (whatever that means). Tim is having a love affair with the raw charisma of Tyrese Gibson, Guy is over the moon that old men are allowed to play henchmen and both discuss the magic of forgotten cartoon Freakazoid.Get event and livestream tickets for the TWIOAT 10th Anniversary Special at worstideaofalltime.com! On Feb 10th, exactly a decade after Tim and Guy's first viewing of Grown-Ups 2, the boyz return to Adam Sandler's 2013 opus for a night of reflection, revelry and regret at the Q Theatre in Auckland. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Won't you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Hey guy Imagine if your job was to write lyrics for the Red Hot Chili Peppers Yeah There's not an easier job going Anthony Kiedis writes his own words, doesn't he? He makes his own words He makes his own words, doesn't he? He makes his own words

He makes his own words, it's even better You know, like it's just all It's just whatever comes out It's like when you're singing around the house They've had so much success with it though Clearly they're better at that than anyone else Yeah What genre of music do you listen to?

I listen to the type of music that sounds like someone's folding washing and no one's home but someone's left a recorder on yeah and then a band has started jamming behind them like the sound is being transmitted to a studio room that is unknowingly that is actually um it's just a bunch of session musicians like okay i see what he's doing to my ears such an accurate description of the red hot chili peppers it's it's just a bunch of session musicians like, okay, I see what he's doing. To my ears, such an accurate description of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. It's remarkable. How are you? Yeah, all good.

It's wild to me, actually. Like, this is big. I said to Guy during this watch, and I don't think this is really landed for you, but this has landed for me in a big way. This might be the last time that you and I watch a movie more than once for this thing. Yeah. Ever. Yeah.

That is huge. That is... Like, I don't know what to do with it, but I feel free. I'm not quite free. I think at the live show, I feel like I've been let out of jail a little bit. It's a weird feeling of course of course i think um i feel still damaged like i i know it's true but i still don't trust you know until like until i've lived it uh-huh it's um i understand it is not yet it's not like penetrated

this sort of um veneer i've put on you know like it hasn't it hasn't reached my heart yeah you've been bitten before and now you're shy fool me once shame on you shame on me fool me once shame on me yeah being the person who isn't you Fooled me twice Shame on me No shame on you As the person who got fooled twice You ain't gonna fool me twice What does George Bush say? Oh

He made such a meal That was great What was that? You ain't You won't get fooled again I'm sure someone's done that on TikTok But that would be good Just like finish a stilt from

With the who Fool me three times You won't get fooled again And then have that guy from CSI putting the It is that one eh That's the track Yeah Funny song for like a police procedural show

Caruso Is that his name Officer Caruso? I don't know. I think it is. I don't think I've seen a damn episode of that, but I'm pretty sure his name's Caruso. They make a lot of them.

Yeah. Do you ever fuck with NCIS? I think I've seen parts of episodes of every show. I've never seen a whole episode. Nice one, nice one. Hey, what'd you think of Too Fast, Too Furious on the second and final watch of the movie, guys? Well, first of all

A delight not to have my opinion poisoned By the Mackle Boys Yeah, man Those guys think they're better than Too Fast Too Furious No one's better than Too Fast Too Furious Coming at it from a reasonable angle With their heads on swivels Fucking disrespectful

Oh, we watch other movies and shit fuck you guys man i uh respectfully fuck you guys a few things i thought um it's a lot of fun to be in miami number one number two i think paul walker is doing some of the worst acting i've ever seen and i think it serves the movie brilliantly yeah there's been a real turn there's been a turn on our opinion of paul walker this watch i just think we both agree his acting is very bad i just think um on the whole it's it's it is and i i think this is consistent with my opinion of the previous screening it's just it's a movie it's the movie i like to watch it's this is the sort of movie this is where i'm at intellectually it's where

i'm at with how i like to expend my energy this is the level and genre of movie that gives me a man looking to watch a movie pleasure i reckon this podcast has broken your fucking brain dude because the the man i met 10 years ago he was smarter than this he was more discerning than this i'm not trying to be smart or discerning anymore i can tell i just want to like pull the plug out for one hour and 40 minutes and then put the plug back in this is the brutal reality of aging i think how do you feel about it uh i'm right there with you now i did with this it's fine it's palatable, this movie. I don't think it's unique to this movie.

I was bored this time, which is crazy, because I had a thrill ride the first time. So I was like, well, I know everything that's going to happen. You got through a mountain of laundry. Yeah, I folded up a lot of laundry at the start. Don't blow up my spot on that though I'm not saying it with any flavour Or it feels like it's cheating on watching the film

But I was watching it the whole time I think that's how a lot of people watch things these days They're not folding laundry But we're at work They're not watching a movie for work We're at work Is there a laundry folding game? Like an app which is just you fold laundry?

Surely. It's crazy there's still not a robot for that, eh? Like, laundry genuinely seems to be quite tricky to figure out how to automate. Oh, to fold it? Yeah. Out of the machine? Yeah. No, it's too hard.

Yeah, it is too hard. Laundry, one of the hardest jobs because it's just too many jobs. Putting it in the machine. Do you separate colors and whites? I don't. In your washing, I hasten to add. I still don't. Put it in the wash.

You got to hang it out. Yes. You got to bring it in. You got to fold it. You got to put it away. It's gotta hang it out yes you gotta bring it in you gotta fold it you gotta put it away it's like five jobs yeah and that's just one

domestic task but it's five jobs man up until like not that long ago you had to beat your clothes against a stick in the river

yeah yeah you had to like rock or whatever drag them over like a perforated bit of wood yeah what are those

called again washboard yeah washboard abs That's where that comes from Yeah The more you know Yeah this movie annoyed me this time

And I'm not even going to try and rank the fuckable cars this time I just don't I like I don't want to let You know I don't want to be lazy But I just I don't also want to force it

Yeah I understand And if I don't want to have sex with the cars I can't just conjure up in a position to go on dates right now yeah and that's okay it's not where i'm at i think that's that's more respectful to the cars than you know like putting on a whole song and dance suki's honda is pretty cool okay the s2000 now you've got a wicked twinkle in your eye that says i could could fuck with that S2000. You're not totally off the market. No, it's a cool car. Well, my favorite color is pink, and there's not a lot of pink cars in the fast universe.

Yeah, so when you see one, you notice. You sit up, you pay attention. It's like, oh, what's going on here? I couldn't really... I mean, the two main cars to my eyes are the cars they get given by the police, which are hot, as they say. Oh, they're wired up.

Cars this hot, the people who wired these up, they're going to know when you're not wearing your seatbelt. Is one a Mitzi Lancer, maybe? It's an Evo. One of them's an Evo because he says, where'd you get an Evo? And what's the other one? I don't know, man. Okay.

I'm not in the business of fucking cars. Never have been, never will be. Yeah. I just want to go back to, thank you for sharing that, one i don't know man okay i'm not in the business of fucking cars you have been never will be yeah i just want to go back to um thank you for sharing that and i respect that you don't want to date these cars cheer i i just want to go back to paul walker's performance okay i want to talk about it just he just he's like he's got the energy of like the high school quarterback or the jock who's shown up to the um you shown up to audition for the school play. He's being cast because it's going to get bums on seats.

And then he's gone to no trouble to learn his craft and the director's not bothered to try and rein him in. And to me, and I don't know if this would be true of a live performance, but in this movie, Too Fast, Too Furious, it makes it feel like he is hosting the movie. He's hosting the movie to us. Wow. And Roman is kind of like a surrogate for the audience

in that Roman is introduced and then it's Paul Walker's or Brian's job to show him around Miami all the things he knows and tell him about this and that and the other. This is Tej. He's got a hand in every pie. And if you want to do anything in Miami, you've got to go through him.

This is Suki. She's good at driving driving but she's great at art in fact she's the best yeah when they show up they show up to Tejas

this is when it's most obvious but they show up to Tejas garage he goes yeah this is Tejas garage it's the best it's the best and it's got the feeling of um

no that's not Tejas garage he says it he says it up top he says it's the best and then he says no no no but it's not Tejas It's that other guy It's that other guy

Oh he's the best Jimmy the mechanic It's Jimmy's garage He's the best No it's Tejas garage Nah it's not Jimmy's the mechanic It's Tejas garage

Really is it? Straight up When they're playing poker and Tejas has a royal flush He says this is my garage Oh fuck you're right. But he says it's the best. Which, put a pin in that because I want to get to that later. Absolutely.

He says, Tej has got his finger in so many pies. That's just how it is. He's like, it's like you've had, it's like a play date and you've asked someone from your class or school over who you, for whatever reason in your head at that age, think is cooler than you. Yes. So you ask them over and and then they say yes.

And you sort of can't believe it. It is almost like a date. You're nervous, and you're like, oh, shit. So they come over, and then you're walking through, and you're like, this is the kitchen. This is where my mum makes all the snacks. She makes the best snacks. You know, and you get into the rumpus room.

You're like, we don't have a foosball table yet, but we're going to get one. We're going to put it over there. It's going to be amazing. You know, that's where I sit on my couch. Dad got that TV from work. It's the best TV you can get. you can yeah yeah it's the biggest tv you can actually buy you can't actually buy a tv that big we've got a playstation 5 but it's actually

just getting fixed at the moment exactly the shop he's got big like please like me energy and it's just it works not for now guy's not pulling this out of his ass jimmy is the best yeah suki is the best yeah there's a lot of the best. Tej, you've got to go through Tej. The reason that Tej has his fingers in so many pies is because that's just how it is. Yeah, that's what he says. It can't not be like that. That's just how it is.

That's how it is. Plot-wise, though, there is actually an interesting wrinkle to this, which is that he hit a wall going 120 miles an hour. Hit a wall at a buck 20. Which is like, in our metric system, about 185K? Do you know how fast it is? Too fast? Too furious.

Too furious. It's as far when Brian O'Connor jumps that car onto the boat in the climactic final scene of this film. Spoiler. O'Connor jumps that car onto the boat in the climactic final scene of this film there's a close up of the car like topping out at 120 miles so how fast Ludacris crashed into that wall is the fastest we see a car going in the whole movie

and he had a wall doing that and he's fine he just doesn't drive anymore but now he's got a ton of businesses He does organising and collecting He should have hit a wall again Who knows what he's capable of He'd be like Elon Musk at the other end of that one

Hit a wall once, shame on me Hit a wall at 120 miles an hour twice You won't get fooled again Talk to me about poker So when you're playing poker I understand what's going on with Jimmy Jimmy slams his cards down at the table And goes to reach into that pot

It's a very brazen move And it's not something you should do For context in the game Roman and Brian Or whatever you want to call them they arrive at the garage at night one night they're looking for something there's a game of poker happening suki ludicrous and jimmy yeah ludicrous is tej yeah so jimmy's like i've got this i'm guessing he's probably made of flush um super high that's when you get the same something that you would

think very high ranking so he's like close to one can beat this and so he goes and he grabs the pot Super high That's when you get the same Soup Something that you would think Very high ranking So he's like No one can beat this And so he goes And he grabs the pot And he starts grabbing the money Also they're

They're playing with cash Which is pretty baller Like normally you'd have Chips on the table But that's kind of cool It is That's the thing Americans have

Hard currency on them We haven't had that In New Zealand Since 1993 Even in America Currency's on the fade. It is something we lose with cash. With an absence of cash?

Yeah. As cash goes away. It's not as cool to not have cash. The buskers in Auckland downtown now have tap and go machines. You got to. I mean, you just have to. I know, but that's such a rigmarole. They have to go to the bank, present themselves as a small business owner.

I was actually thinking about that today. When I was running this morning, I was thinking about to have a garage sale. You'd have to... I was thinking about... Fuck, you would. You'd have to have a tap and go. I think a garage sale, there's still a reasonable expectation. It's like, hit the A-team on the way here, folks.

Yeah. Or transfer money to me. I'll watch you do it. Oh, money transfer is a classic. Yeah, watch. That feels a bit... Yeah, but they do Like

I've been in bakeries Do you have to pay tax On a garage sale? I don't think so I think legally nah Because it's just It's not income Income is like

Legally defined If memory serves As a An activity you go about With the That has the intention Of generating revenue I get

And I guess a garage sale falls into that, but I don't, I mean, you could argue the intention is to like empty the garage. Yeah. Yeah. I guess. Yeah.

While turning a nice little profit. Yeah, exactly. But I don't know. I don't think, um, like even, even to the letter of the law,

I'm pretty sure that something like a garage sale, you don't have to pay tax on, um, and poker. So then we got Jimmy and he grabs the money and then Tej goes, I'm pretty sure that Something like a garage So you don't have to pay tax on In poker So then we got Jimmy And he grabs the money And then Tej goes Uh uh

Royal flush The odds of a royal flush Ever appearing in a game of poker Are astronomically low How low? I don't know Hold on I'll look it up

Have you seen one? Yeah I've seen I've seen one Happ happen in one game ever. And did people act like normal? It was fucking crazy. I'll just ask. That's the way to do this. What are the odds of getting a royal flush in Texas Hold'em?

0.000154% According to Wikipedia. So that is... A flush is a case of the straight flush. Hey, stop. Stop. 0.0154% According to Wikipedia So that is Hey Stop Stop Doesn't work like that bro She needs to cut it out

Needs to tell you everything about it So the odds To put it another way 600 That was written by an American man What? Like That copy

Where it's like You got the information you want And it's like But I know more. You've got to stop laying into Americans. We both do, all right? They're beautiful people. The odds are 650,000 to one that it would come up.

And Tej is just like, yeah, I've got a royal flush. I win. No emotion. That to me suggests that he's cheated. Yeah, I know. Same, actually. Everyone kind of knows he cheats and yeah i know same actually everyone kind of knows he cheats and so they're just like okay yeah you got a royal flush that is fucked that the proprietor of the garage who is playing a game of poker with his employee cheats in a cash game and everyone's just like i guess that's what tish is like fuck that but i'm with you i agree that's

what it feels like. No good. No fucking good, man. I did go a little too hard on Luder in the last screening. I did enjoy him. The more I learned about Paul Walker's acting style, the more I respected Ludacris's and Tyrese. Was it like just to track back, I guess, or flash forwards, depending on whether or not you're us

or someone else the way that they seed like you know our introduction to um roman and tej was like they go to space together yeah yeah yeah and in this movie it's like one of them's just running a gambling ring in miami the other one's just trying to get off home detention in miami yeah they meet like this they fist bump they're like hey you know paul walker says uh tish parker roman pierce or whatever nice thank you and then they bones and it's like these guys have no idea what the future holds you don't know that you're gonna go to space you don't even know that you're gonna become like basically comic relief because of Vin Diesel's just absolute self-determined desire

to make these movies serious. And Justin Lin on the side is like, yeah, you got it. No laughs. And then he pulls Ludacris and Tyrese aside and he's like, guys, we need to get some laughs. It's you two.

You've got to help me out And Luda doesn't in those later ones He stops playing ball too But Tyrese Thank God he's here Franchise MVP We can almost do that now I reckon you're right

And he's really Treated with a huge amount of disrespect in f8 and 9 they make him dumber through the whole thing and you know joseph moore first pointed this out but they make tej like preternaturally clever midway through that's so true they totally change who he is he was never on a computer no no there was never been on a computer and again they've already got i've forgotten her name already which is so bad He's changed who he is. He was never on a computer. No, no. He's never been on a computer. And again, they've already got, I've forgotten her name already, which is so bad. They've got, what's her name?

Ramsey. Ramsey. She's the computer person. Yeah. Don't get two hackers. You just need one. Nah, because. Tish is clearly the like entrepreneurial dude in there.

Good. That's his thing, yeah. Keep him there. Tyrese, smooth talker talker vin diesel charismatic black hole everyone has their role to play they do paul walker i sector improving in real time yes what i said uh upon reflection during this movie to guy about this franchise is that the first i assume the first movie and definitely this movie, Too Fast, Too Furious,

are about cars. Yeah. And basically the rest of this franchise is about Vin Diesel. Yeah. And they're all the worse for it. Vin, do you know that in this... What, do you mean Tokyo Drift or do you mean The Fast and the Furious?

Tokyo Drift's not about Vin Diesel. That's true. Do you know though that... Well, it isn't, but then he insisted on inserting himself at the end. They wanted him. They wanted him. Okay.

This script, Fast and the Furious, was such a success that the studio developed two scripts for the sequel. You've been doing so much Googling. I love this. One in which Dom returns. Really? And one in which he doesn't And

How did they pick? It was either It was basically Vin's choice Oh really? And he was He was filming XXX Yep And maybe sort of

Didn't want to return to a sequel When he was still trying to expand His acting horizons I've not thought about XXX For a long time Yeah That franchise kind of went nowhere But they made a couple.

There was the sequel, which was, I think, 6X. Was it really? No, come on. Also, I just, while we're here, because I got a message during the screening just by chance from Tom Walker. Tom Walker is good fame.

Very, very funny comedian. Big soft titty PNG. And Twitch, famously. And this is all he said. Hey, guy, since you're experiencing Vin Diesel interest, he has a movie called The Last Witch Hunter. It's based on his D&D character, and it gives a lot of insight into the man, in my opinion.

Like, he talked to a screenwriter about his character, and they worked on it together. Spoilers, but the character is cursed to be completely immune to damage and unkillable. And so, like with Fast and the Furious, there's no tension to the fight scenes. So, Vin Diesel is a mortal man. What the fuck? Whose singular obsession is representing himself in as many different film franchises as possible. Is untouchable.

Is, like, unkillable. That is so shit and then when he's not working on films he's releasing like quite vulnerable music i think another um absolute powerhouse of comedy abby howells was telling me about this dmd movie that existed but that little That little nugget is brutalizing. That is so punishing to me. Fucking hell. He's in the movies, man. He's in the business of storytelling. Yeah. And he made his character that he wrote around a movie he made unkillable.

Far out, dude. Isn't there that some... We're in the basement Of rules of good storytelling No isn't that what makes Twilight so good The guys Can't die

Is it A I Humbly question Your Premise Well no They're saying Twilight is good

That's a given It is good Is it It was popular this is i mean we can talk shit about vindetta this is popular popular ass franchise fast and furious yeah no doubt no doubt but i think it was built on the shoulders of giants and those giants were the fast and the furious as far as i've heard this this movie, Tokyo Drift, I think, was good. But did that kind of bomb a little?

Tokyo Drift, it looked to me like was, yeah, it bombed a little. I think, obviously, you know, you lose a huge chunk of your fan base. If you make Fast and Furious and the two following sequels, they don't feature the most prominent star, Vin Diesel. Yeah. Tokyo Drift, particularly, then lose Paul Walker as well, as well and tyrese you've just made us fall in love with and even mendez

who's actually a genuine movie star anyway so they do that you know that that does i can't remember why i started talking about this that does drop off a little bit i lost it i think if you can convince a studio to keep making enough movies, there's something about the machinery of it. It kind of ties in with Hollywood accounting. It's like if you've managed to successfully get to number four or five or six of a continual film franchise that costs tens of millions, sometimes hundreds of millions of dollars to make, they have so many things they do to safeguard it losing money.

Okay. Like from a PR and marketing point of view, that it's sort of like the public are a goose being filled so their liver will become soft for the delicious enjoyment of studio executives to just get everyone to the cinema and mindlessly watch as they fill themselves up on nutrition-devoid content

so that they become pâté for the execs. We are the pâté. We are the product. We are foie gras. Yeah. Oh, man. I wanted to say, the thing i was saying is that i think tokyo drift was a bit of a box office bomb i also think it was sort of spurned by critics upon

release and then with the power of hindsight everyone's like actually that one was pretty sick it's my understanding do you think it's them going compared to the subsequent ones uh or just as a movie it's possible what did you give me a shining light guy what'd you like about this movie this time too fast too furious i there was there's quite a lot i like i like um i like the old i like the fonz i like the old guys who are sort of these patsy um foils for roman and brian like they're also technically on audition to work for carter is that his name the villain ryan varone yep i'll call him varone carter varone i'll call him varone so there's some other henchmen style guys who are on trial to work for varone and you observe that

this is an older style of movie and that like in a movie now all of the other people who are auditioning for the roles of henchmen would be just like cut to ribbons just beautiful people smoking smoking it's like any if you saw any single one of them in isolation on the street you would stop walking and then if you see them all together the same thing happens in sports where it's like because everyone on the field's so big you're like oh they're just like a normal person like me and then you see an athlete on the street and you're like, this person spends all of their time working on their body. It's exactly the same thing.

But in this movie in 2003, in a sequel to a car movie, they're just like, we can just get guys. We can just get guys who live in Florida. And so there are these old ass guys. Like this guy's face is, I think maybe botox and you know work is more prominent now but he's just like he's withered he's got he's got like four he's got four headlines yeah the whole time the image to put in your head because it's honestly this is exactly what he looks like is those i'm doing scare quotes teenagers from grease lightning that were like obviously 48 years old

when they shot that movie. He just looks like one of the Grease Lightning guys. So him, the whole way through, is like the umbrella for the shining light. And can we say this? Jar bless. That's so good. It's so nice to see some guys in the movie. This is the thing.

This is why it's the shining Light. They're just guys. He's just a guy. And so they're set up to lose at every turn because the only people they come up against in the movie are Brian O'Connor and Roman Pearce. Literally played by two male models. They audition for Verone. They lose.

Then they're like somehow somehow Paul Brian O'Connor and Roman Pearce will race you for your cars they've got these hot cars

that the police have got fucking wired up the shit like we need some cars that aren't traceable so they agree to race them for the cars

they show up to the race at night in these muscle cars and their girlfriends are with them and I respect it so much their girlfriends in the world of movies in this

movie are also old as hell they're age appropriate which is refreshing yeah every they're just old and they're like fucking talking shit with these young guys and these young guys are like we're the stars of this movie we cannot lose and you're just watching an old guy kind of having fun yeah it's awesome at one point because the cars are, but they still have to lose the race, and the way they do it is Brian O'Connor, they're doing like an out-and-back kind of car race, and it's a relay. So, you know, Henchman B races Roman Pearce.

Henchman B wins. So Henchman A, the Fonz. You're getting bogged down. He goes out, and he's got a massive head start, and then Brian O'Connor's driving, and they're like, he's already gone around the veryonz. You're getting bogged down. He goes out and he's got a massive head start. And then Brian O'Connor's driving and they're like, he's already gone around the very end. He's on the way. He's on the home stretch before Brian O'Connor's even turned to come back.

And Brian's just like plays chicken with him, gets his car, lines it up straight at him. And then they've just got to close up on the old guy being like, all right, let's see what you got. And he's like, I mean,

he's just old. He's just this old guy. Yeah. It's just great. It's so nice. He's just this old guy. Yeah. It's just great. It's so nice. It's so good to see. And I think it is reflective not only of the time, but kind of as you alluded to,

the fact that this wasn't a big film franchise at this point. This was just like them having another hit at the ball with a sequel to this movie that came out. They're like, is this anything? It's crazy to think how far they've come. There's now 11 of these. but there's about to be 12 diminishing returns no almost irrelevant and not for me to say i can't tell if these are good or not anymore i've i like even i have the self awareness to see that i've completely broken my ability to judge whether a

film is good or not doing this project for this long this podcast is a film these films a movie full stop it's gone i don't have any trustable discernment or judgment when it comes to the cinema because doing this for this long has broken my fucking bro my yardstick is so broken like i have seen so few movies in the last few years but i've been seeing so much movie the last few years and they've all been fucking fast and furious or like i know it's not a movie directly but carrie brshaw, Emmanuel, softcore pornography. These are 98% of my film consumption for the last few years. So true.

So when people say to me, hey, Tim, what's a cool movie you've seen recently that I could watch? I will change the subject for fear of embarrassment and reprisal do you think was there any point at which your ability to um review a movie and like did you it must have improved for a period before a precipitous drop off why do you think that because why do you think watching one movie over and over again would improve your ability Because you started getting hired by Flix Which is a very reputable and fantastic film resource In New Zealand and Australia

To write movie reviews I think that's just New Zealand being small And you wrote good movie reviews I don't know if that's true I think I'm an okay writer I don't think I have any business Really, honestly Reviewing movies writer i don't think i have any uh business really honestly reviewing movies but yeah yeah

you're reviewing movies though do you know what you're right and a movie review like to me i was like well what is a good film review you know like because to be a film critic what you're ostensibly speaking for the public you've got your own yardstick right you're just sharing your opinion confidently yeah you know and articulately yep and what has made me realize is that is the the sheer erosion of ability to discern whether or not a movie is good is that like i have lost even without publishing anything or sharing an opinion through i have lost the internal gauge quite often on whether or not i like a movie you oh so you don't even know how you feel about it i just i am and that's probably why i've you know approached this like willful vegetative state

where i'm like if it's that i can get it so you've just surrendered yourself to the ambiguity of how you feel about the movies like maybe that's what i'm saying yeah it's like you've been beaten down that's what this feels like to me it's like you've been hit so many times And now you're Sylvester Stallone Refusing to get up I haven't seen a single Rocky movie Speaking of which The complex that Carter Barone

The complex that plays Carter Barone Sort of the home of his drug empire in Florida Yeah Sylvester Stallone used to own that house Well that's another Guy Montgomery tidbit Knowing how I feel about movies I've just enhanced

The amount of miscellanea And also reduced the capacity for my filing system To hold it in an organised manner That is the other thing that doing this podcast Has done It's just ravaged the filing cabinet It's just like pulling shit out Throwing it up in the air.

And you'll be having a conversation with someone and you'll see like a piece of miscellanea, just a piece of paper just floating down to the ground. You'll see it. So important to you. And you can't not acknowledge it. That was, do you, because, oh, what was I? I think I messaged you.

What was I at a party or something? I messaged you and I said, hey man, just a heads up for how the vibe is right now. They're playing that song from the scene when Emily Radjkowski and Zac Efron are about to fuck at the music festival after they've dropped acid. Yeah, I remember that. That was recent. This is how we talk to each other, folks.

That's how it feels. Through the fucking prism of these god-awful movies that we've just had to subject ourselves to for so long and now i guess my question is guy like what happens when you release the bird from the cage can we repair our brains after this is done uh it's different for different birds does nature return it's different for different birds can vegetation grow on this poisoned patch it's different for different patches. Can vegetation grow on this poisoned patch? It's different for different patches, Tim. You know, I've seen footage of people releasing animals

back to the wild and some of the animals, they thrive. It's like they never left. They do fantastic. Not all of them. Not all of the animals. Some of the animals,

they can't. They've been domesticated and now they're dead. They can't just go to, you know, event cinemas and buy a ticket to watch the latest blockbuster and go in normally. Yeah. They say, could I please have a ticket?

Could I please have another ticket to Cats? You know, so we're not screening Cats. Could you put it on, please? Could you please put it on for me? I need to see Cats. I need to see cats. It's the fear, isn't it? Because we're making all these discoveries about how brain elasticity works

and how your brain sort of functions as you get older. We're not young men anymore. We're in our mid to late 30s. And I know that's a bit where your brain starts doing degeneration is it well feels like it we've probably sped that process up i'm always not always but often you know i try to think of something just something and what is out of grasp it's out of reach i just i often i sit you had a funny joke about that actually the other night oh yeah it was a real funny line you had when you were like yeah i'm trying to knock on my phone at

the moment and just have a thought just to see what it feels like yeah it was really good thank you sadly it's an old joke i got my you should have seen my eyes light up when i thought have i stumbled into an exciting new joke did you not realize you were pulling an old bit no i knew that was all right that was at a oh just now you thought i was referencing it was at a show where stumbled into an exciting new joke. Did you not realise you were pulling an old bit? No, I knew. Oh, right. That was at a... Oh, just now. You thought I was referencing... It was at a show where I...

You're describing a show where I had to be funny as opposed to a show where I am allowed to not be funny. That's true. But just to fill in the blanks for everyone, not that we need to, but both of those situations happened back to back in one night. We were both on shows where you had to be funny in the first one because it was a corporate christmas party and then we had the open mic and you were funny in both well it's very sweet tim so how about

yeah write a movie guy oh my god we should write a film are you. Are you serious? We should just get a bag of cocaine, lock ourselves in a hotel room for four days and emerge with 90 pages. I've seen Chelsea writing a movie. It looks so hard. I did, actually. I got to the end of it. I wrote a pilot for something I wanted to write once and it was so fucking hard.

It was such a hard thing to do. I got a fright, not by you riding a pilot, I got a fright by a car going quickly and Rufus barking at it. Loud noises. I guess it was, I got a fright by loud noise. I think, am I the bird who upon release flies straight into the ground? Quite possibly, or like into a windmill or something. That's what I'm imagining.

Trying its best, it just goes head first into some sort of extraction fang. Quite possibly. Or like into a windmill or something. That's what I'm imagining. Trying its best. It just goes head first into some sort of extraction fan. I haven't thought about that with animals. Like, you know, I assume all birds are approximately equally good at flying. No. Dude, our national emblem is a flightless bird. Across species. So like all sparrows are approximately as good at flying

as each other oh okay like all swifts all eagles all hawks are about equal to the other matching species but then i'm like but not all people are equally coordinated exactly there must be a a scale of like unco birds and so like, because I assume all birds would be like well I'm not going to fly into the windmill, but there'll be some birds who are like, I'm not going to fly into that windmill, next thing flying straight into the windmill straight into it, bird strike's an amazing thing

eh? what, bird strike? we still haven't, it feels like the planes are still vulnerable to that is that when they, it's when one or a bunch of birds will fly into the engines, into the turbines and take down a plane. Do you know what is, I think... It happens sometimes and the planes crash, man.

Forever made me obsessed with the idea of having a secret room. The cartoon Freakazoid? Yeah. Was that a spin-ff of Animaniacs? Yeah, I think it was. So Freakazoid, I think, was a character introduced to Animaniacs who then got their own spinoff sort of cartoon. And there was an episode in which he was conducting a meeting,

like a secret meeting in a room that was set up like a clubhouse or whatever. And you watch the meeting and then it zooms out and it turns out the meeting and the people that they're talking about that the meeting was pertaining to they're in the plane and the meeting's taking place in a secret clubhouse like which is inside of a you know an engine turbine like attached to the wing jesus and it always made me think wouldn't it be so great to just have a meeting room in one of these i mean it would be loud but you know like just in it in any any secret room when i was a kid i used to dream that underneath my in my mattress there was a door that i could open up and you'd go down and then

underneath the through the mattress underneath it there was a whole secret like clubhouse down there underneath the bed but like you go the steps go down through the mattress through the bed base through the floor make it happen bro you've got the mattress, through the bed base, through the floor. Make it happen, bro. You've got the opportunity and possibly the resources now to make that dream a reality. Build the mattress basement. Do you think with that sell? No, because you couldn't put it to market because then people know. Firstly, I think it's impossible.

I'll humor you for four seconds. I can't believe how quickly you went from encouraging that dream to then me opening it up as an idea, and you'd be like, by the way, that's never going to work. That was like less than four seconds. I mean, I don't think it stands up to a time. Okay, how would you do it? So you've got to have a mattress That's got maybe a pull out

Porthole sort of a thing With a handle You pull that out And then there's a door And the whole The whole pull out portal Is like It's still mattress material

Also You've got your sheets And everything to worry about You do So I guess Okay so you've got to kind of like Strip the bed Essentially

You've got custom sheets That have a little square shut out Like that's That's zipped Like a very subtle zip fucking hell if you thought that um folding up fitted sheets was difficult imagine getting your hands on guys trapdoor sheet it's a tricky one to put together while you're watching too fast if you're the secret zip and then they'll find out about the secret freakazoid was so awesome that showed. Great intro theme song as they all had at that time. Freakazoid, Freakazoid.

And the storyline was that some, I think, game designers had created a game where there was a very specific one in a million set of button presses that if anyone noticed it, but they were like, ah, no one will do it. We'll ship it anyway. And so they shipped the game. And if it was a real they were like, ah, no one will do it. We'll ship it anyway. And so they shipped the game.

And if it was a real specific bunch of button presses, it downloaded all of the information of the internet into a person's brain. And his cat walks across the keyboard in the first episode and does the button presses. And that's how he becomes Freakazoid. It's like they've engineered another way of having the mask. Yeah. It's fucking awesome.

Very the mask. Real the mask. What was your shining light? Of Freakazoid? You can choose. Probably the theme song. Okay. Of this movie, I liked Tyrese.

I like Tyrese, Woe to go, really. That's fair. He comes out the gate with this brooding intensity and raw sexual energy emanating from him as he's been in this sort of destruction derby style situation. And that's cool and hot. And then when he sort of does the turn To become light and funny That's awesome as well

The moment that's really speaking to me at the moment Is when we're on the boat And Eva Mendes has Probably swum To Paul Walker To warn him Brian O'Connor that he's going to get shot They do go to the trouble of showing that she's

Totally wet But the challenge I think is because the clothes Brian O'Connor that he's going to get shot. They do go to the trouble of showing that she's totally wet. But the challenge, I think, is because the clothes are all like, the T-shirt's all one blue. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it is all wet, it still kind of looks dry. Full face of makeup, which I know in movies it's always the case. But it's still wet. But it's kind of, it's like her hair is drenched.

So she's wet. You can't tell if the shirt is wet or not because it's all one colour. The hair represents the whole entity. Yeah, thy hair is thyself. Roman has to go and stall. And I don't know, it's just the swagger, the whole swagger. He just goes there. Because this is a high-stakes situation.

If the two goons figure out that Eva Mendes is in there, the jig is up. Probably all three of them are going to get shot. And he just takes a breath. He goes out, he goes, hey guys I like his body language too find what you're looking for fellas there's like a roof on the boat out the back and he's got one hand up like on a railing that he's got above his head like that

I think his other arm, no it can't be behind his back, I just know he's got one arm up like that, oh yeah he's got the other one behind his back it's the only one behind his back, it back it's kind of like casual well it's just it's just um to be in a position with two potentially threatening people to hit me and and remove the power of both of your arms to be like i'm not worried about this no that's what it says yeah it's on one hand you could be like well that's you're vulnerable to an attack but on the other hand you're like you're in confidence. And it's disarming.

And it's vulnerability. And he does continue to be disarming. And they do begin to treat him worse. I'll throw out another shining light while we're here involving Roman Pearce. So we've talked about in the last episode how they've been given the task by the big bad, Verone, to – there's a whole bunch of baddies, and it's like, you guys got to race to earn my favor. Go get my cigar from this car that's in an impound lot and my Ferrari.

It's an important package. The car's not important. The package is. That's true. And so they get their first. Brian and Roman get their first, and they see the Ferrari, and then Roman immediately steps out of the car. They're high-fiving.

They're jubilant at their success that they've all but gotten in the palm of their hands, and Roman walks out of the car in one swift moment, takes his shirt off, wraps it around his fist, smashes the window. And it's just so you can see him shirtless. And then they build it into a comedy moment. Paul Walker then opens it by the door handle. Opens the door handle.

It's great. He says to her, put your blouse back on. Yeah. And they're laughing. And this is how good this bit of the movie is. There is moments, just mere seconds really,

before my previous episode, Shining Light, which is- Starring my Shining Light today which is the Fonz saying let's get out of here in a situation when it's pretty heavily implied that you just want to get out of there anyway.

Roman's just shot, probably fatally a police officer. Roman actually, one thing we have to shout out because he doesn't do it, so after, the next time Roman sees the federal agent they get into it and he's like you shot at me and he's like sees okay time to go the federal agent uh the federal they get into it he's like you shot at me and he's like you fucking tried to blow our cover you know and they're blowing up at each other and then they get pulled off by their respective partners and

it's like okay okay they cool down and then roman's like doing some pretty bad pacing acting where he's performing pacing and the the prompt is roman i imagine on the page it says roman paces before spotting a food a bag of food. So you see him pacing and it's not very convincing. He sees the bag of food. What does he say? He grabs it and starts opening it up. He says, that's my lunch.

And then Roman says, so? And so is very funny. So is good. So is the most efficient. There's literally nothing you could say that's smaller than that and the other thing that's right and another good another good one it's because it's energy isn't it's comebacks aren't always articulate it's just energy the other ones when he first meets the fonz they get out of these new souped up cars and the font is

hey nice cars where'd you get them at the bottom of cereal box and then remember just goes, ha, ha, ha, very funny. Fonzie. You loved that. Yeah. You loved that. I'm a simple man, Tim. A simple man with no gauge on how he feels about things or where he's at. Just trying to get enough startup money to launch a business in which I sell rooms at the bottom of mattresses with a trap door. You know?

I really do think. Just a bird trying to learn to fly again. You're targeting the right part of the market Which is rich children Because this economy doesn't work anymore It doesn't matter what country you're in right now Guess what everyone It's the end of 2023

And the economy is fundamentally broken It's your economy So now we've just got to make luxury items For incredibly wealthy 1%ers and their kids This is where you come in is that was that the new bootstraps dog wealth has been so concentrated now at the top that we just need to make trinkets for rich people that's all there is left oh my god the infrastructure is crumbling all it takes is a slightly heavy rain in Auckland and suddenly we can't swim at the beach because too much human feces is flowing into the water supply.

We've just got to make baubles and trinkets for rich people who might throw us a few crumbs to keep us afloat. I'll say, the point at which you have to check before you go to the beach whether or not there's too much shit in the water to swim, it doesn't matter what it says on the website. Yeah, yeah. You've crossed the rubicon if that if that's a if that's a pretty likely possibility that beach is off the list unfortunately if you have to check you have to check every time even if it says it's good it's not good it's not good guys it's not good but guys. It's not good. But if you go further out of the city, the beaches are beautiful.

Oh, okay. I think Auckland city beaches get shat on, both metaphorically and in reality and understandably. But we're in proximity to some good bits of water. Yeah, no doubt. Sydney. You want to talk about city beaches in sydney manly for womanly you know non-binary beaches they've got beaches for everyone

okay i'm gonna go out of So You could get Which goes to show how fucked up I am I gave it nine last time Oh come on I am all over the shop So I'm imagining that what I really want

Is a I want a Soft serve cone With two Chocked dip with two flakes that's what I want right okay

and what I pretty decadent bro what I can get right now and what I was just served yeah a soft serve cone with one flake

it's not and no choc dip no choc dip okay I like it like I'm like this is actually really good yeah but you

had a hankering and yeah but sort of as I'm having it I'm thinking this is actually really good yeah but you you had a hankering and yeah but sort of as I'm having it I'm thinking do you know what if I got this chalk top as well

that actually might have been too much so I'm sort of talking myself into it shit well that kind of reads as a six and a half I'd say that's about right right on

it's incredible that you got to six and a half through my you know metric I appreciate that you fully described six and a half through my metric. I appreciate that. You fully described six and a half in words through an ice cream analogy. I don't think anyone could have thought any other number.

Yeah. Okay. Well, is that us? That's us saying, we'll see you on Friday. Yeah, absolutely. This episode will well and truly come out after that show in real life but not unlike the Fast and the Furious timeline itself

we operate in quarter miles and calendar years yeah it's a bit mixed up so in the world of us we're going to see you on Friday see you there 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.