The Worst Idea Of All Time - 46: Tim's Credit Card

Episode Date: June 5, 2019

It’s watch 46 and Charlotte is a confirmed xenophobe, again. The wait staff are getting treated like garbage, again. Carrie Bradshaw is a confusingly bad writer, again. However, this time the fellas have the aid of a feminist essay! Timbo and Guyguy try to figure out what Monopoly is and isn’t, the cultural differences between Americans and Kiwis, and how much disregard one should hold for sharing credit card numbers on a podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We just have a good rhythm together, you know, he sort of feels me out, I feel him out, and we go for it. Hello and welcome to... You like that? Episode 46 of this fourth season of The Worst of all time i am tim bat and i am guy montgomery episode 46 means that tim and i have both just watched sex in the city the movie the movie for the 46th time for you tim an early start. A very early start. I won't lie to you, guy. This was a two-byte-at-the-apple situation,

and I tried so hard off the back of feedback from you last episode to focus on drilling down, bringing some respect to the game, bringing some discipline to this craft, and just really entering into the screen. So it was a full immersive headphone on experience. I tried to remove every other bit of stimulus around me. So I was watching in pitch blackness on my cell phone, just rammed up to my face.

And I watched 45 minutes last night. I tried to go as long as i could and my eyes were just getting ever so heavy so i had to fall asleep and then i picked it back up at 6 30 a.m uh so pretty still a pretty serious undertaking yes i i couldn't help but notice and this is only because i had communicated with you yeah uh that after telling me that you were going to be engaged in, I'm going to read the actual response out because the language was quite serious. You said, okay, don't text me now because I'm attempting a very focused watch of the movie. And then I would say about 40 minutes from then, while the movie was definitely still going,

at the top of my Twitter feed, what should I see? But Tim Batt just absolutely launching an assault on the hardworking people at Apple. I take no issue with the employees. It's the top brass. But no, you're dead right. It broke the spell. You sent me a message and it broke the employees. It's the top brass. Yeah. But no, you did right. It broke the spell.

You sent me a message and it broke the spell. And I was like, oh, fuck, damn it. I got pretty far in, though. I'd say like over three quarters. I think about 80% done. It's impressive. Before the spell was broken. It was fucking hell, man.

I'm in no position to cast judgment, Tim. I was ill-disciplined. I would go so far as to say naughty. If I'm being completely honest, I think I was a little bit naughty. And I'm going to take it very seriously next week. But I'm impressed that you did three quarters. I did think it was funny that you told me that you were concentrating very hard. And you all caps vary and then uh you you went out there and you just had to share some opinions about

what's going on in the world of tech i did i did mean it you know like i was really trying to just focus in just get in there you know and it's right for you to call me out on it that's uh that's correct it's the truth it's the truth of the call me out on it. That's correct. It's the truth. It's the truth of the matter. And the truth trumps everything. But it got pretty far. Yeah, I respect that. And I'll endeavor to do the same.

I actually got my times wrong. I finished an hour or like 45 minutes earlier than I thought we would. Oh, shit. Because you warned me. Do you know what? Because you sent me a message saying, Hey, man, I'm going to be about 15 minutes late. Sorry.

And that's when I kind of like started to take my foot off the gas because I had everything timed pretty tightly as well. So I fucking zone in. I'll be able to crash course into the shower, throw some clothes on and get in the studio. But when you gave me that leeway, I was like, okay, cool. Because I was at the point, guy, where I was like pa cool i'll um because i was at the point guy where i was like pausing the movie to reply to people it was it was not it was not happening like concurrently i was like pause go to twitter come back so i added quite a bit of time okay well i i uh that's great

you know and and uh i'm glad to hear that you've taken my advice on board. I didn't follow it myself. But what about this? One of you and I record, you know, we pledge allegiance to the gals of the United States of America. And we go old school. I'm talking 2014-15. It's an honor system. But what I'm talking about is committed screeners.

Absolutely. I'm talking about is committed screeners. Absolutely. I'm talking about Mano Emano. Yeah. Is that man on man? Yeah, I think so. So what would be man on multiple woman? Well, I don't even know what language Mano is. Is it like Latin or Italian?

I think it's Latin. Or maybe Spanish? I don't think it's Spanish. I thought I knew the words for man in Spanish. Oh, no. Here we go. It's Spanish for hand-to-hand. Oh, hand-to-hand.

Fucking there you go. There you go. Okay, well, we are going hand to hand with the gals that's not gender specific um here would be my ideal situation i would want to put myself in a float tank and just like glue the screen to the ceiling of that so i have absolutely no stimulus but maybe i should fucking do that although i don't know how you would do sound because if you wore headphones i think it's short circuit in the water yeah i i notice a very subtle ploy to get out of watching sex in the city ever again for the rest of your life there tim electrocution uh yeah electrics in the float tank uh i'm excited that

you're committed i'm committed to it feels good in the moment because i'm atoning for a misdeed but i know as soon as uh business time rolls around i'm gonna hate myself for for going on the record with all of this but i like that um again i got pretty close i got pretty close this time but i did fuck out flamed out um hey can i tell you something they're all disciplined tim they all show levels of discipline and this is you know this is what what took us to the top, was we were some hardworking and disciplined boys. And we're really sagging off, aren't we? I know.

I know. And if you look at the ratings, it shows. Well, I came into this. People can tell. Yeah, they can. They can sniff it out. I came into this watch with a lot of pep and verve because I was fucking recharged from being in Christchurch.

Shout out to Christchurch. Spent the long weekend there. It's fucking lovely. Christchurch is all happening. It's your hometown, guy. Yeah, yeah. It's where I spent my formative years. Well, I'm happy to hear that you were so inspired by the Garden City.

It's looking great. I'm just saying it's looking great. I was hanging around in the CBD and things are really fucking popping off. So go spend your bucks there, everyone. I'm growing suspicious of this. You did a big Instagram. I've been all over your social media. You did a big Instagram post

encouraging people to go and visit the Christchurch CBD and spend a lot of money. Yeah, man. And now I start trying to talk to you ostensibly about sex in the city. Yeah. And you tell me and anyone listening, one person who's got a bit of cash throw around, to be fair,

the same thing. Head on down to Christchurch and spend your hard-earned. Yeah. Well, for our libertarian listener, you know, tax isn't going to solve anyone's problems. What is going to solve it is the market. So I need to direct the market flow into ototahi which is the um the original name for christchurch

uh okay well i'm i'm glad that it inspired you i uh i'm back in new york and you'd think that would inspire me to spend uh some some concentrated and focused time and energy on the ladies, but I could not give two hoots what they were doing. I did give two hoots about and read the essay Manolo Blahnik's In Monogamy Sex and the City's Standard Societal Scripts, written by Michaela Oh, God.

She sent the pronunciation of the surname and I believe myself. I can track it down while you give me some notes on it eh? Well can I just say it was so refreshing to experience a fresh set of

critical and I'd like to say this concentrated eyes on Sex and the City. This is a real focused affront on the movie. I should think so. It's an academic text.

Yeah, it is. And I feel like that might be part of what's been missing from my life. Academia. It was just so clearly laid. It was like, hey, this movie is bad, and here are inarguable reasons why. Is it time for Monty to head back to university it might well be um it was just yeah it was just nice to to see academic language used to articulate problems that i've been taking consciously and subconsciously with this movie for you know the better part of

half a year now uh i'm just trying to find, there's a really good little block of text here. We're now both searching for things. No, no, no, I've got mine. Mine's in front of me. Carrie's childish behavior, which is, this convention is not all that surprising

when attention is paid to the ways in which Carrie's continuously portrayed as being infantile and helpless, despite being the main character in a movie all about women. Yes. And then she just lines up all the ways in which Carrie is treated like a child. Okay. Big repeatedly refers to her as kid, which can be ignored as an affectionate way to refer to someone who is your junior, but becomes more alarming when referring to someone you view in a sexual context. who is your junior, but becomes more alarming when referring to someone

you view in a sexual context. There's one scene in which she is teasing him about writing his vows and sits on his lap, where he begins lifting her off of his knee, saying,

up, up, up, the way one would to a small child. Beyond her romantic life, Carrier exhibits other childlike behaviors. She's spoon-fed in Mexico, throws her phone into the ocean

in a tantrum-like fashion in order to avoid dealing with her messages, and is looked after by her maternal assistant, Louise. The infantilism of woman is nothing new new but it was disappointing to see in a movie where women are at the forefront driving the plot there's a very uh clear and articulate sort of deconstruction of the storylines pertaining to miranda charlotte and carrie

and then there's this sort of hey reasonably substantial yeah sorry just while we're on this bit about the infantilization of women can we throw down with something that uh i'm just going to assert a thought that occurred to me this watch which i i haven't had in a previous watch and also it's kind of interesting that it hasn't come up with any of the guests yet but um it is just taken as read during the scene uh in when Samantha is giving Miranda heaps about having a bit of bush that having bush is bad. It's just taken as an absolute given. Not even Miranda herself represents any kind of alternative to this apparent truism that a close to bald

vagina is the only way to go. My man. That sucks. My man. Can I say this? Not my words. This idea is stated more blatantly when the girls are in Mexico and Miranda's sporting a bathing suit along with a healthy amount of pubic hair.

Samantha is horrified, mocking her and even insisting that she'll make her an appointment at the spa without bothering to ask if she wants one. Miranda tries to say that when you're married, your priorities shift, but Samantha's quick to compare her fluffy bikini line to the smooth one of golden girl Charlotte. You'll have to accept that Charlotte's sort of been laid out as having this ideal life earlier in the essay. Miranda's furious and accused them of saying she deserved what she got for letting the sex go out of her marriage, and she storms off, ignored and unfollowed by any of her friends. The importance of her pubic hair to her friends is concerning because what one chooses to

do with one's own body hair is nobody else's business, and there's an assumption that the presence of pubic hair means it uh means that sex is an impossibility due to societal sexual conventions the same very the same very point i threw two hands in the air when you started that and victory that's so good fuck i am here for this you say i'm going to print it out and read it over a coffee i'm going to go for a walk and read the this this is so nourishing for a film that we've seen so many times. I absolutely know what you're talking about now. It must be so satisfying. It's like reading about a hobby that you have, but this hobby's been thrust on us.

Yeah. And someone really getting into the weeds of it. Do you know, it's the same thing I do with sports. When I watch a sports game, I can't wait to read all of the articles that are discussing said sports game. It's the same for people with movies, I suppose. But it's hard to dig up relevant and, you know, academically critical texts of the Sex and the City film. Especially this late in the piece.

So it is a genuine joy and I think you're going to get a real kick out of it. So thank you so much to Michaela. I'm still too terrified to get the last name wrong. Throw some letters in the air, guy. What are we dealing with? Is it just a lot of consonants? It almost rhymes. Michaela Madraga is what I've got.

Madraga. M-A-D-R-A-G-A. And I would grade that S-A-A+. Fantastic. Thank you so much for um for writing it and sending it fuck that's good i want to read that yeah i've i've um i don't know if we've talked about this on the podcast but i've i've um i've always had a weird little niggling thing in the back of my head about um our insistence on uh women shaving particularly the armpits

because i think what is that about? Is that purely an infantilization thing? Yeah, it's hard to say. I don't think everyone's quite as committed as to making sure women shave their armpits as you, Tim. I insist on it. You know this about me. Yeah, it's important to me that we bear that in mind.

But I'm glad to hear that you're open to changing your... Not changing, critiquing, Guy. There's a difference. My viewpoint on this will not be budged, but I will look at it. Yeah, yeah. Well, I respect that. Somehow even more,

that you are aware that this could come under fire and you stand behind it while open-mindedly sort of yelling about it i feel like i'm being villainized and i've taken a lot of notes to get us off this path so um they are here's my first note that i've written down from from today's watch slash last night's watch they are such dicks to the guy who greets them at the resort in Mexico. He is unbelievable. He's so good, too. He totally hits the mark in terms of being like cheery, upbeat, welcoming and friendly without being too much. You know, like he's got his body position just right.

He's got his proximity to where they are just right. He's got two drinks there. He's not all up in your grill. He's got his proximity to where they are just right. He's got two drinks there. He's not all up in your grill. He's fantastic. He's doing a truly A-plus job, like Michaela did. And the girls are such fucking bitches to him. And there's four of them. And it's kind of like, well, if one of the party are a little terse,

a little short with someone, you usually rely on some other members of the pack to to pick up the politeness slack but no one does the closest he gets to a respite from the rudeness is samantha just being all quippy and confusing with him when he quite rightly says uh i'm sorry i'm a little confused i was expecting mr and mrs preston and then she says oh honey you'll be waiting a long time and then taps him twice very condescending manner on the shoulder and says we'll talk

and then grabs a cocktail and hits him inside. Just tell him now Samantha! I think I've brought this up before because it leads immediately to you know some fallout that they then are sort of like hey you've got to get on top of this honeymoon stuff. He's rightfully prepared the honeymoon sweet for the honeymooners.

Yeah, which was booked. Under the honeymoon couple's name. No, I totally agree. So let's continue going on that. Sorry. Well, what does Charlotte do? Because Carrie sort of blows by. She's given a pass by everyone because she's moping that she got jilted.

I know that Miranda says, have you got Wi-Fi? And he says, yes. And she just blows right past him. She can't wait to get on the Wi-Fi. She even says it rudely. It's a rude thing to say, and she even says it rudely it's a rude thing to say and she even says it rudely i know but it's meant to insinuate that she's a she's a working woman you know it was she's already expressed doubts about going on this trip because of her responsibilities at the office

uh it's rude undeniably but they sort of qualify her rudeness i mean the assumption from all of them is that this guy knows or cares that none of their lives are going exactly as they want right now. Which is, I imagine hotel staff, especially at nicer places, would have to deal with this sort of, you know, rudeness and insolence all the time. That's no kind of pass, though. If anything, that's even more reason to be nice to them, eh? Yeah, it takes no effort. It costs you nothing. It costs you nothing. It costs you nothing.

But what does Charlotte do? Charlotte, I think, just kind of rolls past them. I mean, she's a confirmed racist who hates Mexicans anyway. We know this about her. That's why she keeps shitting herself, being addicted to Pudding Pops the entire film. Yeah, so... In some ways, you know.

She is racist, but she has the good grace to be to internalize all of her racism yes exactly take it out on her own digestive system in the form of unrelenting punishment yeah is it a is it a kindness to if you are racist keep your mouth shut is that some form of a kindness uh Yeah, I'm glad you called that the question. It's almost an impossible question to answer because in a way it is in that you're bottling the worst of yourself and maybe working on it away from other people,

maybe not. But in another sense it's not because then she moves through society without restrictions because of her dirty little secret which is she cannot get enough of these goddamn chocolate puddings and she is not going to roll the dice on mexican food at a five-star resort um in mexico truly and i guess behavior some there's some it's not really justice is behavior. There is some... It's not really justice, is it? There is some... I suppose that's why we're meant to feel

some level of excitement that she shits herself. No, because we're not supposed to interpret her as a racist. I think we've managed to crack Da Vinci's code on this because of... Hide that from the boys.

Because of the two films we've we've seen her um how she behaves in the middle east and now we've seen her in mexico so she's just a confirmed xenophobe all around it's not a particular set of people it's just anyone who's not herself yeah so um to continue to continue this buzzfeed listicle in terms of all the atrocious behavior they throw at um service members um the valentine's night uh dinner where miranda confesses to carrie finally that she said something to big which crashes the entire wedding operation that um uh the server who comes along she is a fucking delight she's so good and uh they're so rude to her and the rudest they are is when she that they're having a conversation she comes back she says do you want another um can i get you another bottle

of wine and they interrupt in mid-sentence and both just bark yes no one says please no one takes a please on the end nothing like if two people bark yes simultaneously wouldn't your ears prick up oh man we came in pretty pretty feisty there i think we better take the edge off of that it's it's the same uh it's the same rudeness stemming from the same problem you know that all of their treatment of service people are which is their lives are the only ones that matter. They're the only ones with any one interesting going. And so the fact that they're airing their grievances to and with one another

means that everyone else can shut the fuck up and get out of our way while we talk about our feelings, because ours are the only feelings that matter. How much of this is Mattress Pikelet King, scriptwriter extraordinaire, and how much of this is Mattress Pikelet King, scriptwriter extraordinaire, and how much of this is down to the actors portraying these gals?

These are meant to be comedic beats. All of them. Like, you know, or the synchronicity of Carrie and Miranda saying, you know, ordering the wine at the same time, so both saying bottle and yes is meant to be like, look at how close this friendship is.

Look at how unbreakable this bond shared by these two women is. They go out for a meal and they're so attuned to one another's habits that they order exactly the same thing in exactly the same rhythm. But that's the primary job of that particular bit of dialogue. But yeah, I mean, truthfully,

it just outs them both as being, you know, it's the litmus test, isn't it? It's like going out for a meal with someone and playing them at Monopoly is what you're meant to do before you decide whether or not you're going to spend a lifetime with them. I have heard that before. People's treatment of service staff is supposed

to be a big flag for how they are what was the other one monopoly you reckon well yeah monopoly is just like a mirror revealing the ugliest version of anyone how are you at monopoly guy what's your approach honestly not invested enough i don't think I've ever finished a game. Does that bode well for you in a relationship or extremely poorly, do you think? I think it bodes poorly for our shared savings account, but it bodes well for me being bulldozed and agreeable. god what do you think i i think it's a good sign

actually i think you're taking it well there's look there's a few ways to take it but i think um the way i would interpret that for you is you're taking monopoly for what it is you know what i mean some people take monopoly for what it's not which is like real financial and real estate transactions are taking place and suddenly words are being exchanged and arguments are getting heated uh and you forget that what you're actually doing is spending quality time with your mates or loved ones yeah this happens in if does this happen in other games yeah i think monopoly's pretty um it's a it's it's probably the worst one you know yeah well because also you know like you are you are seeing loved ones and people who uh you might not want to experience their wrath or not even is it wrath?

Wrath. But you yeah like no one's going to look particularly glamorous when they make you you know forfeit on all of your properties and take all of your money

and kick you out of the game that you're playing together. It's hard for anyone to do that gracefully. There's something about the technical and financial aspect of it that is just like it's hard to anyone to do that gracefully. There's something about the technical and financial aspect of it, eh? That is just like, it's hard to look good doing it. It's punishing.

But, no, I mean, I'm right there with you. And the way that they're rude in Mexico and the Middle East is, you know, it shows that not only did the characters learn nothing, but the people building the movie did learn nothing between the two, that this behavior is abhorrent. Because it's like, they're mirror images of one another.

Horrible to watch. Their treatment of waitstaff and Sex and the City, the movie, the movie, and Sex and the City 2. Too sexy. Too city. Let's be fair to Mattress pike like king and look at ourselves

though i think there is a little bit of a cultural aspect to this because kiwis are how do you say we're very we we don't like to bother anyone in any way shape or form whatsoever to the point where we feel very awkward about people whose job it is doing things like even performing that role so for example at the gas station like if there's someone there to pump petrol we would you know we would not be down with that because we're quite consider ourselves quite egalitarian i think even though in in refusing to let someone pump your petrol you are preventing them from performing their job exactly i think i think i think the um well i'm glad you brought this up because there's a pointed example i can think of which is the way in which uh we order food when we're out and americans do whereby americans

are very you know they speak in imperatives they say i'll take the uh eggs you know and i'll take the eggs and ham or whatever but we will we will say we will frame it as though our request of the food that has been listed as available on the menu is going to put out the entire staff of the cafe. Absolutely. And we'll say, could I have, it's a question dressed up in pleasantries and made to sound as though it's going to be totally fine if that's not possible. We will grovel.

We will absolutely. And God help us if it's actually available you know yeah could i please get the eggs benedict um and swap out the bacon for sam it's like yeah this one's like oh thank you so much it's like it's totally fine we do this um you know every minute of the morning on a saturday thank you so much. I cannot express to you in words what this means to me. It really means a lot. The truth lies somewhere in the middle, I think. Yeah, the truth does.

Well, I think Americans are closer to the truth because they're more efficient. But I think through the Kiwi lens, we read it as rude. But they're just like, I'll get ham and eggs and M&Ms, please. And the waiters are like, cool, great, done. You know? There's no, you don't have to do the dance. The New Zealand dance, it must cost our economy so much money, you know?

It's so inefficient. There's dance in here. That's why everyone's so stressed in America. Everyone's so stressed here. Yeah, in New York specifically, I think. What's the dance in new york who is like you know it looks like they're 90 and they'll be like 35 what's that person's life guy who are you describing i was describing you know someone

who everyone's in a rush i don't know what they're off to do, but whatever everyone's doing, it is the most important thing. And let's not forget, the characters in this movie are a byproduct of this. But nothing that they're doing is particularly important. We don't even know what Miranda's working on all the time.

I was going to say, Miranda's job arguably seems important. She's a high-powered lawyer. What kind of lawyer? What is she doing? Honestly couldn't tell you. I'm guessing, though, based on the clues we get, it's commercial law.

The worst of all laws. What is commercial law? It's like business law. That's the extent of my knowledge. You have criminal law where people have fucked up broken the law and they're going to go to jail or something so you've got to either prosecute them or defend them and you've got property law where it's all about deeds and titles and bullshit and then you got commercial law where it's all like fucking mergers and i assume tax probably falls close to there um i googled what kind of lawyer is Miranda Hobbs,

and the Wikipedia says Miranda Hobbs is a career-minded lawyer. Oh, man. That's fucking great. What kind of comedian are you? I'm actually a jokes-based comedian. I'm a career-minded comedian. Man, that's epic. What is the alternative?

To what? A career-minded lawyer. A sort of an indifferent lawyer? An ill-disciplined and uncommitted lawyer? That's a cool concept. I like that. I like someone who's gotten into law, which is usually seen as a pretty high-stakes

and high-commitment area of vocation, and just having a very laid-back attitude to it. Just dabbling. You're describing our friend... Yes. Our friend... Yeah, that's true, actually. He is a picture of a human as well.

God, he's doing it right. Runs constantly. Who was so indifferent to one law job that he wrote an anonymous letter of resignation and just left it on his desk and never went back back that's fucking cool an undated letter of resignation hey wait we definitely shouldn't say that i feel like we're torpedoing his potential career do you reckon people will put the pieces together if we just

use the name hope not uh you could you could can you bleep the name god god help me i hope well god help me i hope i remember

to uh his name is and he's currently looking for work in christ

church new zealand he has a child on the way you've got to help him out

he works well by himself and in teams i've got more help him out. He works well by himself and in teams. Monty, I've got more notes. You want to hear them? Big time. Here's something I took issue with this watch, Guy.

Carrie's narration being hyper-literal. When they're in Mexico, and it's before the pants-shitting sequence, she says, just for a moment, Charlotte forgot where she was and opened opened her mouth is what she does say that's what's actually in the film you know what she should say she should say charlotte forgot where she was and opened up to mexico because it's like at least a little touch of metaphor we're seeing that she opens her mouth we get that side of it maybe like

broaden out what you're saying because also the narration is supposed to be a reflection of what's written in the book by carrie an author and she's just describing exactly what's happening there's no poetry there's no art to the words used she's just literally describing the scene that we're watching unfold it's a dangerous game that voiceover because if you think about carrie's voiceover specifically too hard it's very difficult you know beyond serving a narrative purpose it's hard to know uh how it actually fits in to the world of the show yeah because it's it's a bad book they're bad like they are purely narrative tentpoles or like checkpoints you know where she will uh reflect on something that's happened or you know just describe her mood it completely

contravenes you know rule number one of big money making hollywood which is a show don't tell it's not big money hollywood it's just storytelling. But I'm right there with you, man. It sucks. Do you know what I'm going to do? On my concentrated mano-a-mano screening of Sex and the City, I'm going to write down all of her voiceovers, and I'm going to parrot them back to you. Great.

I've given myself an assignment. It's so... And also, it doesn't make any sense from multiple points of view. Number one, like you say, terrible book. Because I think in the TV series, they're quite quippy and artful, at least, sentences. So it makes sense that they're being written for her column. But in this, it's just straight information

the audience needs to receive for storytelling. Man, what is going on there? That's like the third ambulance or a cop car I've heard. Big city life. Yeah, it's just big city life, man. I'll tell you what that is, my friend. It's the corner of Bushwick Avenue and Grove Street. And while we're all here, actually, I do have Tim Batt's credit card information.

Oh, okay. So the number is four. Could we not? I don't know if I'm going to remember to bleep this out. The expiry date is. Two thousand. This seems accurate actually. The full name on the card

is Timothy Batt. And the CVC, that's the security card on the back of it, is I'm going to dock your pay for me having to do extra editing on this one. It's bullshit.

Well, do you know that is I mean that information is all 100% accurate oh man that's terrifying it really is got a big old limit on that card hey stay on track Monty

the roles have been flipped what kind of judo are you pulling here oh look I'm just trying to have some fun with my friend while i was watching the movie i was like i hate this but i'm looking forward to talking to tim which is you know what's fun jokes among pals you know what's not generally considered fun reading someone's credit card aloud with a big stonking limit on it on a podcast broadcast to tens of thousands the world over.

Not fun, you say. Funny? Maybe a little. It is fun. I'll give you fun. That is a bit of fun. I did it once with my own credit card details. How'd it go?

I don't know. I think people told us that I'd done it. I was a pizza off off mic oh no no what people said was um they like i don't think anyone actually cracked it they were they were sort of they were going like i reckon if you did the yards you might be able to extract monty's card details from this because we know i think it was a live stream which is even worse because there's no bleep in that. That's just going out. It's out there. Well, shout out to anyone who's eating pizza on us.

It's time for a word from our sponsors. Blaze Pizza. Have they paid us? The carry verse. Blaze Pizza have not paid us. Blaze Pizza continue their um empire building romp through the united states installing new locations everywhere on a foundation of advertising and promotion provided by the frosty fellas where's the check where is the check? Where is the check? Yeah.

God knows it's probably in the pocket of some other snide young podcasters who are, you know, now we know what it feels like to be the forebears of hard work as we watch the next generation turn their backs on the ground that we tilled for them to plant podcasts as they prosper. Fuck, my metaphors are off, man. I feel like I'm off balance this episode. Doesn't it feel shit to be both in our 30s now

and you look at new comedians coming up and you're like, fuck. I'm not... The eyes are off me now. No one gives a shit. I'm not good enough to be famous and I'm not young enough to be up and coming i'm not young enough to be interesting i have thought about that and i have uh

i've i've i've altered my thinking but i've certainly you know i have grappled with the fact that i'm no longer up and coming nor am i a star and the challenges contained therein but it's a long career there's a simon munnery once said it's not a um it's not a race it's a dance you just keep doing that man it just means there's no value in looking at these other young comedians and worrying about what they're doing oh i keep dancing baby yeah that's true i like that it's a good philosophy um guy imagine being so rich that when your massive fuck off wedding falls apart and you've been kicked out of your presumably multi-million dollar penthouse apartment your go-to is a trip to mexico and hiring an employee that's how you deal with the

situation wait not just a trip to to Mexico and hiring a new employee. A trip to Mexico from which you just buy back the old apartment you sold at an escalated price. Yeah, man. And you return to New York City and you think, ah, moving's a nightmare. I'm just going to hire Someone from my own imagination To take care of this God knows where that money wound up It's so funny

I reckon she's writing paychecks And just throwing them into a rubbish bin Or something Something weird Posting them to her own house And just so she can get mail Very strange behaviour You know actually

St. Louis did provide my Sh light moment this week, though. Gone. It was a classic sort of cheeky shining light where I was just looking out for something to latch onto. But when she says she's telling Carrie where the stamps and mailing labels are in her house as she's sort of retiring from her post. I think what she needs to pay attention to is the fact that Carrie's already retired from the post.

And no one cares about the stamps and mailing labels. We haven't seen Carrie dealing with any mail. The only time we see her near mail is when St. Louis is fucking combing through it for her. Why is this the information that's chosen to be shared? Sorry, can you say the first bit of that again? What? I tried to do a cool turn of phrase on the fly.

So, you know, when someone leaves their job, you can say they're retiring from their post. Yes. And so I was saying Carrie's already retired from her okay okay okay i was like have i what have i missed here it's like i've tuned out for 30 seconds and i've missed some key connective tissue to the conversation but i swear i was listening the whole time when i was talking i could see this turn of phrase you know up and lights in front of me as I was walking my way to the next sentence. And I was like, oh, should I grab that or should I leave it?

And I was like, go for it. And as I was saying it, I was so loaded with regret. The hubris. Yeah, I'm glad that you didn't understand it. Nah, I regret that your gumption hasn't been rewarded man i'm sorry there was real bravery you showed there and i'm i'm i really feel like i haven't done you it's one of my favorite feelings or not favorite feelings but it's a feeling i remember so vividly just especially uh both sides of it when you're younger and you

think of something funny to say and then you know in a group conversation you don't say it and then you know the conversation moves past you're like god damn it i wish i'd said that that would have been fucking great and the much grimmer alternative where you think of something funny to say and you throw it out into the world and the world just says fuck you that's not funny and anyone who tries to be funny unsuccessfully is an enemy of the state that must be punished i've heard you talk about this several times now this was like a real big thing for you huh this was this was kind of like your big um let's say your big fear really like growing up that you'd you'd throw an offer out there and it would be met with uh

no kind of appreciation uh i think it was just when i was building the self-confidence to to lob those funny suggestions out out in front of me uh i just remember those times so vividly because as soon as i started doing it and people would laugh that was like fucking coco pops you know that was the shit that I was like, whoa, give me more. Coco Pops, I like that. Hey, Guy. Yeah. I know I've been talking for a while, but can I, because I just wrote down a note for this, because I'm a completionist, I want to get to the end of my notes.

Just wanted to spend a quick hot minute talking about the tech of Sex and the City, the movie, the movie. It's pretty wild. This movie is, is it 11 years old now? Is it 2008, this first one? Yeah, yeah, it's 11. We've got multiple landlines. And there's even a corded phone at Carrie's house. Do you fucking remember corded telephone?

Yes. They seem like such an iniquity now. Well, even in my childhood, we'd have two or three phones in the house, say, and one of them would be corded it would be in a weird corner it is very dated but i feel like carrie uses it throughout the series because you know right she's got a very long or maybe i'm imagining this and and uh i'm you know getting confused but i'm imagining really long cords and her walking through multiple rooms in her house on the phone. Oh, yeah. Very long cord.

Is that in the second movie or something? Because I totally have a picture of that in my head too, but it's not in this one. I don't know. It must be in the second. But what other technology caught your attention? Have I told you? I'm sure I have. I'm going to tell you again.

This film was the first time that an iPhone was seen on screen. Yeah, yeah. The thing that really caught my attention was actually saint louise's phone which is one of those fuck they need to bring them back because we're also used to phones being exactly the same now which is just like that stock standard kind of flat chocolate bar just everything's a touch screen but she's got a flip um like a flip up text phone that's got a physical keyboard on it they They were the shit, man. You'd rotate it 90 degrees so you hold it in landscape mode,

and then you push the screen up to reveal a keyboard underneath it. Fucking wild stuff, man. There are a lot of interesting form factors coming out at that point in time in mobile phones. We've said goodbye to all of them. You can see the thinking behind it but the you know your fingers and thumbs would have to be so pointy at the very end to use that phone swiftly i so miss physical keys to like i even missed it the the key number pet you know like the the one through nine with a zero at the bottom to text because you could do it you know for us we were in school you could do it blindly

and kids can't do that anymore you gotta look at your phone but we got i got real good at texting by feel tactilely tactilely we'll go with that um just on the buttons there yeah i i mean you sound like you're 90 it's a shame that doesn't exist anymore because I'll tell you, I got pretty good at it there for a bit. I got real good at it. Real fucking good. To be fair, my sister and I used to have races. We'd both race on the same phone.

We had the same model. We'd race to send a text to our dad that said the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. That's cool. Yeah, we were a really cool family. That was a big thing. I remember that being a big thing, though. Like, there were a lot of world records at the time

of who was the fastest texter and stuff like that. Like, that was a... That's gone away. Good, actually, because, fuck, that was really destroying thumbs out there. Tim, do you want to... Have you gotten through all your notes? I just realized the time. You're done. done done you haven't talked about your shining light which you did send

through to me my shining light is a guy who's in the restaurant on valentine's day night and he's just he's fucking having a good time um and i think he's providing an excellent experience for his dining partner he looks really jovial like he's giving and receiving in the conversation, and I'm here for him. I'm all about him. Yeah, I'm looking at the image now, and he's got a big, stupid fucking grin on his face. He's a good guy.

And you've got to respect that. To everyone, I say this. Wait, what's your shining light? I did it. It was St.ise saying stamps and mailing labels you were so distracted oh oh yeah i did get distracted i didn't realize that was in the in the casing that's why i was grateful for the distraction and the failure of my turn of phrase because my shining light was piss weak and you latch onto it sweet almost got away with it too

if it wasn't for you meddling listeners. Tim, I say this. If you're listening along in America, please come along to one of our live shows in New York City on Sunday the 23rd of June, Chicago at Sleeping Village on Monday, June 24, Portland at the Clinton Street Theatre on Wednesday, June 26, or at the Clinton Street Theatre on Wednesday, June 26. Or Los Angeles at the Dynasty Typewriter on Friday, the 28th of June.

All dates and tickets available at littleempirepodcasts.com. I only watch Sex and the City and talk about it now to get to the very end of the podcast where I get to do my one true passion. Self-promotion. Thanks, Guy. Thanks for watching the movie thanks for joining me and uh tune in next episode where we will be going mano y mano with the girls and exploring the narration of carrie bradshaw goodbye everyone we just have a good rhythm together, you know. He sort of feels me out, I feel him out. And we go for it.