The Worst Idea Of All Time - 49: Reunited

Episode Date: June 21, 2019

Timbo’s fresh off the plane to join Guyguy in New York City and he’s coming in pretty hot off the back of a run in with an 8 year old on the flight. The Fellas go back and forth on whether the Batman was in the right to offer a spare (at the time) seat up to a child but one thing’s for sure – we need some more time for palship. The specifics of why season four sucks are hashed out again and Monty’s trying not to wake up his housemates but IS trying to get in with Tim’s wife. Will it work? Time will tell.Live shows: NYC 6/23, Chicago 6/24, Portland 6/26, LA 6/28 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We just have a good rhythm together, you know, he sort of feels me out, I feel him out, and we go for it. Hello and welcome along to the worst idea of all time, episode 49 perhaps. Episode 49, perhaps. It's a fleshy, everyone. Joined in studio. Okay, my bedroom by the great Tim Batt. How good is this? Because normally when it's a fleshy, I feel like you're joining me.

But I have travelled 30 hours to be here to join you. Let's do the math, actually. It is, dude. It's 30 hours. I just got in the door. Yeah, you really did. You came in. You said hello to Ken and Gloria. Lovely Ken. Wait, was Gloria here?

Yeah, Gloria's here. Where's Gloria? It's none of your business where the other people in the house are, Tim. You just worry about you and me. No, it's just kind of weird to say that I walk past someone without even seeing them. She might have been dozing in bed. Predisposed, yeah. True that. So, yeah, you've arrived here from a flight from Auckland via Honolulu.

Great place. First time I've been here. Oh, yeah, it is too. Yeah, I haven't been here yet. This is awesome. Yeah, yeah, it's not bad, is it? I like it. I like what you've got going on. It's a little oat milk flat white I brought for you

because I know that you're not allowed the forbidden cow juice I do say that But then I've eaten a lot of meat and dairy in the last 30 hours It doesn't count when it's in the skies Yeah International waters Who are you flying with? Hawaiian Airlines

You were really teeing off on some poor 7 year old boy Bloody oath I was This is a visual gag so it's just for guy but i'm gonna change my t-shirt because this is the t-shirt i left new zealand in and i've sweated through the entire thing but i had a four-hour layover in honolulu so i managed to get to a flea market oh you got out of the airport yeah yeah big time mate yeah got some sun did they check your bag through for you or did you have to do that yourself i had to do it and so uh it was actually good because the staff in new zealand were like your bags will go straight through and then when i got to honolulu they were like you gotta get

your bag and i was like oh no don't worry the staff told me he was like dude get your bag and then i it was just sitting there in the airport because they took it off the plate i was like thanks bro that is like got you yeah yeah you always you've always got to do your own bags here these americans what's that about what is that just for studious people um it's really nice to see we haven't even hugged yet probably for the best given what you just described your status that is very big you're swimming in that it's too big for me it's a guy shirt yeah yeah that's one for you oh Oh, it's so cool. At least it's a clean... It's funny that it says, Hi, Hawaii, because Hawaii is so famously and ubiquitously associated with Aloha.

Yeah. You found the one flea market T-shirt. Guten Tag, Hawaii. So you're 30 hours of flying. Yeah. Do you want to talk about... I know that at some point... They happen?

Well, yeah, at some point, I know you watched Sex and the City Sure did Right at the end Save for that Save the little treat for last You've got to have your veggies first Before you can have dessert

Do you want to hear about this kid? Do you want to talk about him? What's made me gun shy Is someone Because I kicked off on Twitter about it And they were like You didn't even know Tim They might have a disorder or something I was like yeah that's fair enough but i'm not doing it to him in person i'm

doing it on the internet no and you yeah you uh um you were annoyed i think you know everyone's on on edge when they're flying especially on the second leg of a long haul oh this kid was bananas though i respected it this is how it started was he an american yeah unmistakably there's your first problem i know so here's here's how it all began he came over to me because i had the aisle seat and it was so it goes two then three in the middle then two seats right yeah i had the one that was aisle but against a window right yeah so like that or the aisle seat of a column that's on a window what was that that? Honolulu to New York. How long was it?

Was that that flight? No. Oh, yes. Sorry, yes. That's crazy because there were only the two foot down against the window, eh? And then was it like three in the middle console? Two foot, then a three, and then another two. Yeah. Wouldn't it be funny if it wasn't two?

If it was lopsided, there was like three, then three, then two. That would be crazy. That seems small to me. Oh, yeah? I don't know. Anyway. So I had an empty seat until quite late in the game, and I tell you what, I was fucking excited about that.

Never, ever let yourself get excited. I know. You can't count your chickens, but it was like the plane looked done, and we were getting announcements coming through for people to be shutting doors and whatnot, and I was like... So you got the cabin doors shut. And we were getting announcements coming through for people to be shutting doors and whatnot. And I was like... So you got the cabin doors shut. Well, I think it was like a preparation to do it.

It was a comp. You can't even relax there. I know, I know. And I was just like, hey, wouldn't it be nice if this lovely seat was for me? Get a bit of kip. So the kid comes up and he goes, can i sit there on the window seat and i was just like yeah man absolutely no i loved it that's moxie i was like that's cool man absolutely because at that point i wasn't to know what he was like i thought he's just a confident young

man who wanted a window seat so i was like bloody go for your life young fella and um and then the like no sooner had he sat down and yelled out daddy daddy i got a window seat that the woman young woman came in and was like oh i think i'm here and he was devastated so you helped create this monster well i didn't do anything bad i was just like here was my situation the seat was empty and a kid wanted to get in it. My options were deny the child or be like, yeah, sure. Deny the child. That's his dad's job. Abide airline protocol.

That's his dad's job. That's not my job. But you, I mean. My job. I'm 31. I got no kids. I'm the fun uncle. I had empathy for you in thinking that you had an empty seat next to you for a flight when it turns out you didn't.

Yeah. But it was that guy. You're an adult. Let me reiterate. Empty for the longest time. I know. I know. But what I'm saying is you have the emotional intelligence and faculty to deal with that being taken away from you.

I do. Yes. Correct. A seven-year-old boy who has spent however long fantasizing about a window seat, who moments before takeoff is convinced beyond conviction that he has been given his greatest wish, and then to experience the euphoria and excitement of that and not moments after processing all that

have it taken away from you is is diabolical and you are I don't think I said thanks for the coffee by the way this is so yum yeah no worries I just wanted to say thanks for that

you enabled that I was a player there's no getting around it you you like helped orchestrate a situation that you could live tweet what was what now hold the beehive and then you started tweeting saying wow these bees sure are angry

hold the fuck up what were my options guy would you deny because then it's like hey can i sit in that window seat and i'm just some guy by himself who's going to empty seat going say no you don't need to worry you're you can be a curmudgeon, that's someone else's Kid and also. No, it's fucking dad's Right, this is dad's job if he wants to Lay the law down. I was like, good on you confident Child, go for what you want in life That's a great lesson. I

Think, I am I'm a stickler for rules, I love Abiding policies. There is no way And I would have said You wouldn't have. Whatever you're about to say, you're lying. I would have said, hey, look, you look like a really cool kid. Certainly not someone I would denigrate and drag through the muck and the mire of the online world. This sentence is already too long.

You're a pedophile. Like it's gone, Pete Tong. No, I'm not a pedophile. No, you've got to be economical with your words. Well, actually, I'm the only person who's been on record on this podcast saying they're not a pedophile. No, you've got to be economical with your words. Well, actually, I'm the only person who's been on record on this podcast saying they're not a pedophile, which would make you, my friend, the greatest false dichotomy of all.

There's two kinds of people in this world. Those who have loudly announced themselves to be not pedophiles, who are correct, and everybody else. Terrible stuff. No no I would have said hey possibly we'll just have to wait

and see until they've closed the cabin doors because that's the rules of the flight you're not allowed I'm not his dad I don't like that's not

it's not about parenting it's about responsible flying you're not even allowed you're full of shit man I'm not full of not because i don't think you would have acted any different in this situation you wouldn't have i would have you wouldn't have i would have you would even if you say that if you say to a child you go like oh

hey we just have to wait to see if anyone's gonna sit here you still look like a fucking monster to a seven-year-old like an absolute i'll be a comedian to someone else's seven-year-old like an absolute i'll be a commudgeon to someone else's seven-year-old kid that's not my problem really yeah you got people liking you especially i mean who doesn't want a kid liking them you know a kid who i'm gonna have uh like a friendship with or nine hours in the air bro that is close quarters not if you don't want to make an enemy not sitting next to them it's not but this is the thing he He was very close to me. That's why he went to that seat. Because he was just on the other side. He was in the middle column.

So what? So I would have had to fucking deal with that. His whole family's there. His mum and his dad and him. Bloody nine hours of getting hate thrown at me from across the aisle. I don't care. If you say... Because now...

No, no, no, no. You created a worse situation for everyone. Let me stop you there. Because, here's where you're wrong. It's their fault because they created this monster. Now, here's the thing. What I've described so far by itself, not a bad situation. Like, totally understandable.

I might even do the same as a kid. I wouldn't have been confident enough to ask an adult stranger if I could sit in a window seat next to them. But if I had that opportunity, which I thought was coming to me taken away, I'd be upset. But at some point, I'd fucking let it go. And I certainly wouldn't act like this little monster did. Go ahead. He's being an asshole, guy. He was screaming, I hate you, dad, because he couldn't get a window seat.

He started running. That should be at you. He started running up and down the aisle saying, I hate you dad Because he couldn't get a window seat He started running That should be it You He started running up and down the aisle Saying I hate you dad After take off presumably Just as we were getting ready to take off Wow Just as

Like that was That was fully The doors are shut That's distressing I think the plane might have been moving Yeah It was fucked man It was real fucked and what so did

they did they his panel didn't work so there was a problem with the entertainment system for the whole plane that's grounds for an upgrade sometimes the kid but it was everyone so they don't give a shit they had to reboot the whole system the kid flipped out and and the only moment of justice for that kid and the whole flight that flight attendant came over because they buzzed him buzzed the woman rather to come over and she just she just like very like no hint of meanness or anything because he was basically jumping up and down his chair just like you're gonna have to get down only amount of discipline when they're when americans turn to like authoritarian or disciplinary measures it's scary it's so efficient you're gonna need to get down yeah it's so efficient because it does it's not malice we tiptoe around it we say hey i'm really sorry but would it be okay if you said if you didn't jump up and down

on the seat excuse me seven year old i don't want to offend or potentially upset you but uh would it be quite all right if you obeyed the law of aviation i have less uh empathy for the frustration of flying with this child for you than i did from your online account you weren't there man i know you don't understand i know you're on the second half he was a weird kid no it's not about that i feel fine if this was like i got a crisp night's sleep and that was the first thing that happened to me in the day i would have acted exactly this and actually i acted fine I was just bullying him online. I didn't do anything to his face. I gave him a goddamn seat.

I was nicer than your hypothetical self in this situation. You were not nicer. Because it was not your seat to give, as evidenced by the fact someone else arrived and took the seat away from him. I don't know. Well, it was going to happen or it wasn't.

Like, what's the difference of me saying, yeah, go for it? It was going to sort itself out or not it's either me taking away from him or the situation taking it away from him why would i be the bad guy needlessly we i genuinely think we have a fundamental disagreement on protocol you're fucked on this one i'm not i'm sound i'm always sound i have never put a foot wrong yeah it's great to see you it's real good to see you, man. I've never put a foot wrong. Yeah, it's great to see you too. It's real good to see you here on home turf. You fly, you deal with this, you know, you sort of... I bought a whistle thing at this flea market as well.

Should I try it? Not necessarily, no. Okay. You fly and then with about three hours remaining until you touch down, as laid out in a plan between you and I, you boot up the old tablet. Oh, yeah.

I was using combination effort. Started on the cell phone. Yeah. Teed up, as you can well imagine because you know me, a bit of a contraption. Yeah. To put it right in front of my eyes. Almost to the extent of VR again. So I could just go hands-free, baby.

Noise-cancelling headphones again. Yeah. Game changer on a flight. Heard that beautiful jazz tones while they're doing the Halloween candy shopping again. That was good. And sat back, relaxed, kicked it with the gals. How were they? Terrible. How was the screening against your most recent screening screening which was the full immersion very

good question different yeah because an airplane is not full immersion but in a sense there is an immersive quality it's the inescapableness of it not quite as bad as having the screen uh corrupt your entire field of vision. I don't think anyone else describes VR as corrupting your entire field of vision. Well, it's not always sex in the city, but when it is, it is a corruption of your seeing sense. So, better, worse, just different?

I'd say better. Yeah. Even with the kid. Yeah. Well, the kid's welcome distraction. The kid is the real world interlocutor. The kid was actually. You. Even with the kid. Yeah. Still better. Well, the kids welcome distraction. The kid is the real world interloper. You're not wrong on that. It's interesting that...

When the kid started kicking off, I'd pause it just to listen at what was happening. It's interesting to think that for the... You know, for how frustrating that conflict is outside of watching Sex and the City, as soon as the movie's going, you welcome the interloper. Let me ask you this.

When you were seven, would you need a parent to go into the bathroom with you on an airplane? I can't remember, but I'd like to think no. Is that... Is that... Kosh? It feels too old to me.

I think this is partly because I, by my parents' own admission, had a slightly neglected upbringing because I was the third child and they got a bit bored. Your dad actually wrote... He did, I get the audience to write down moments of behaviour that they're not proud of, that they might wish they could change and don't stand behind. Don't put the wording in there.

He doesn't like the limelight, my papa, so we don't have to fully out him. Well, if you'd like. But he made an admission in a guy's show he said um regarding my upbringing we'll leave it at that he said uh i loved him he's a good boy uh but it's it's good it makes uh it makes you self-sufficient i think you think of yourself as a self-sufficient boy i do except for the fact that i still can't fucking drive my early 30s yeah it's pretty bad well i think you might be on the right side of history i mean you still benefit from the cars but you know it's like i never i never got uh like riled up enough to get racist this is the

wrong analogy but you know what i mean it's the wrong analogy and i know exactly what you mean uh so i mean i guess you let's talk about you well let's talk i had to get up at uh 6 30 to watch the movie and that was not uh because i was just thinking your body clock at least when you fly is uh it's off balance to the point that it doesn't really matter when you're throwing stuff at it but getting up at 6 30 you know when you're on no no it was my you could have got away with later too because i i was later coming here i really wanted you to walk in straight into the the dojo and i did i have literally just arrived folks you've kept you've like heard yeah yeah the entirety of guy and i had been together um and so yeah it's just sort of like the first half hour, it's happening and I'm looking at it through slightly squinty eyes

as I'm trying to wake up. And that is the worst part to me, when it is an extension of your sleep mode because that's not normal for you away what first part of the day or is it i i've watched this movie at all hours i'd like to think you know in addition to uh possibly having watched the movie most in the world you know this is a fourth straight world record for us in terms of uh exposure to the raw materials we assume but uh i'd also like to think i have alongside you actually i'd say we're neck and neck uh probably watched this movie at the greatest variety of times yeah and there's something about watching

it first thing when you're not quite awake where it does feel inescapable because you know you feel weak sometimes when you wake up i don't know if you've ever had this where do you try to clench your fist no i don't know what you're talking about. And because your muscles or your body isn't like, there's some sort of delayed response between my brain and my body, I can't clench my fist as tight as I'd like to. Huh. And that's what it feels like with this movie where it's like,

I feel too weak to put up any... This isn't like when your arms have gone to sleep because you sleep on the bed. No, i love that feeling i get that every night i used to wake my arm against the wall when i'd wake up i can feel it but then you can feel it later uh but i yeah i just i had no resistance and it was just happening and i was cross and angry but tempered by the knowledge that i was to see you yeah and so there was there was less as i woke up and this information dawned on me there was less edge because i was to see you yeah and so there was there was less as i woke up and this information dawned on me there was less edge because i was like well you know it's not at what cost it's like well

there's a there's value here i have just bought and read i read about a fifth of it on the plane a book called um i think it's called how to change your mind by michael pollan and it's about psychedelics and i'm seeing stuff in there and i'm thinking what we do and i have to say this season i think the two watches a week has out of sheer self-preservation made us disrespect the process a little bit more and i'm okay with accepting that because i think we will have destroyed ourselves if we if we took the vigor of season one to the watches of season four i don't think we would have survived the season um we've had to allow ourselves some little escape release you know pressure valves um but the the nature of what we do we do get into a bit of a trance state. Yes.

Well, I've said it before, there is a meditative, and it has to be very... There are elements of that which are outside of our control, and that I don't get to choose when a watch feels meditative or when the movie does not sort of uh invade my personal space but there are times you can open the doors though yeah i think if you commit if you're like i'm paying attention then you open the door to that happening i think well i'm always i am always uh whenever there's a screen on in the background i'm always drawn to it in a way that is beyond my control in a way that is um childlike yes or similar to a cat

yes uh and i can exercise more self-control over myself when sex in the city is playing because it is uh there's a there's more complexity to the relationship which means i can distance myself from what's happening sure it's less interesting than a different screen that's not playing sex in the city yeah i mean this point you know it's the value of what we have trained ourselves to do is certainly negligible outside of the context of the podcast but it's yeah i love that you have throughout this entire endeavor for the last five years you've often referred to this as some sort of training some sort of strengthening strengthening. And it does beg the question, what is the event that we are readying ourselves for? What is this apocalyptic happening

that we will be uniquely qualified to take on? I can't put too fine a point on it, but it's just that I have to believe that. And I don't want you poking around at that question. I have to believe that. I'll leave it alone. I'll leave that well alone. Otherwise, apart from the fact that we're here i mean the fact that we are both in a room here in uh bushwick brooklyn new york city can be attributed to the greatest city on earth according to the smartest man on earth david

letterman yeah of course uh you know like you, there's a direct line between us watching Grown Ups 2 for the first time and sitting across from each other in this room right now. Oh, 100%. Do you think, I don't know if I've asked you this before, do you think you would have moved to America were it not for the potty existing? It's impossible to say. I'd like to think I would have found a way or done it eventually, but this certainly accelerated and helped uh

enable the entire process that's really good to hear if nothing else i'm glad that like at a at a at a minimum we got you to america like quicker than you would have yes and we might those are two good say i'm all right with anything else is a cherry i the graph of our friendship though is one that fascinates and scares me. Because I think we're on the upwards trend again now. But it's not like... It hasn't been a steady incline. And it hasn't been like an incline and then a plateau.

It's like... It's a rollercoaster. It's the stock market. Yeah, it's real. It's the Enron ride from the Simpsons that gag we might break even

it is a bit of that but now you know the end of it it's always there's vitamin C's graduation starts playing there's nostalgia there's a misty eye

god that's a good reference there's a good cultural touchstone for what you're describing I think to be fair to us we've thrown a lot at the relationship distance incredible distance the time zone thing and the pressure cooker environment of us doing two watches a week plus whenever we can fit a friend zone in plus the patreon stuff means that there is no oxygen in our coming together for palship. It's work or nothing.

You know what I mean? Well, do you know, that's part of why I thought if you walk in the door and we knock off an episode, Go fuck around, throw pigskin between us. Between now and this Sunday at Littlefield, June 23 in New York City, when we record a live episode in front of a live audience, there is scope for Palship. So to me, this was a... As unpleasant as it may have been to be watching Sex and the City

at 6.30 in the morning, I did this for you, Tim. That's cool, man. Well, I watched it in a plane. I've been in the air at 6.30 hours. For both of us. Okay. Yeah. So I watched it... I was watching it in the area for both of us. Okay. Yeah.

So I watched it. I was watching it in the lounge and Ken and Gloria, I was watching it on the screen in the lounge and the audio, I was afraid might, because the house isn't huge, obviously, might leak down into their room. And so I had it on quite a low, I could have just put on headphones, but, you know, for whatever reason, I couldn't be bothered. On a low frequency.

And the audio mix is... Yes. At least on the one I'm watching, is crazy. It is. There is no... The music, this is... It's not just music. It's happening on dialogue too.

Right. Like it'll bound from scene to scene. One scene they'll be whispering and the next scene they'll be shouting and the volume is the same. This is weird. I think this is true of a lot of movies, and it's so strange to me.

The dynamics, but in this you're definitely right. Crazy highs and lows. Do you think, is that some sort of Hollywood conspiracy to get people leaning in towards the screen at certain points? I don't know what the purpose of it is in this because i get it in an action film right if you're michael bay and you're like uh my two gears that i can use are megan fox wearing very little and loud explosions like those are the two things you can use to play with um i get dynamics used in that context but for like a what do we decide this is a rom-com it's basically a rom-com for a rom-com just like

why does it need to fucking blow the speakers out at certain points and then you need to turn the dial up to hear other dialogue i don't know man it doesn't make sense that that i think it's like this is a very nerdy comparison but this podcast and all the podcasts that i look after that i produce i mix in mono because i don't understand why you wouldn't for unless it was like a really like audio production heavy show you wanted to create a soundscape why wouldn't you just make it the most easy to listen to universal things so if someone's in a car and one of their you just make it the most easy to listen to universal things so if someone's in a car and one of their speakers has died on the right side they still get the exact

same show as everyone else except uh the half of their stereo is broken well yeah but they don't miss out on one some people mix like people one person in the left and one person in the right so that's like you're sitting in between two people having a conversation over you. But it's not how the human ear actually hears anything. Like if you hear it through headphones or whatever, you're like, this sucks and I want to vomit. Maybe that's just me. No, I'm sure that there are other audiophiles out there. And perhaps some pedophiles who agree with you.

In some ways, I'm the opposite of an audiophile for doing it in mono. Anyway, I digress. So, you're watching in the morning. You're concerned about the noise. Did you wake any of the people in the house? Impossible to say. I'd have to ask them. Hey, Ken!

Did I wake you up by watching Sex and the City this morning? Did you hear Sex and the City in your room this morning? Didn't wake anyone up by watching sex in the city this morning did did you hear sex in the city in your room this morning didn't wake anyone up that's great well we haven't asked gloria to be fair yeah but you can take take it as red yeah is that what i'm looking for they're in the same room is right as red as red um so i i just. So I didn't like it. Yeah, it feels like it was kind of washed around you. Yeah, I just sort of mostly was thinking of you. Oh.

I don't even know that I can single out. It was a trudge. A shining light. It sounds redundant to say in the late 40s but like fuck even the excitement of coming to america seeing my boy in the flesh and getting to hang out with you in four different cities here and performing to live audiences it's still such a fucking trudge even then to get through this thing it's like there was a i don't know we know where this happened it's but it's a historic accident where a treacle factory exploded and all this treacle like fell into a

village it feels like that like we're trying to get through treacle because it's so thick we lit the fuse on the treacle factory yes we did we blew it up uh what i was i just remember what i was sort of wondering earlier when i was talking about the graph of our friendship and you were talking about how you know through across time and distance we've still maintained this i would love to measure the conversations we've had in the most challenging episodes we've had against the excitement the ignorance really the naivete of uh we two fellows at the beginning of, not just the whole project, but the season. Of this season?

This season was born out of us missing one another and not having the framework to talk. Yeah. That is crazy. Why is that crazy? People fuck up all the time. We just overshot. It's not crazy that we effed up.

It's crazy that we were so short-sighted. It's crazy that... I do stand by it, though, because I think if you just... I'm a person who needs real... This is like me going vegan, right? Kids love boundaries. Exactly. I'm a kid.

You're definitely a kid. No. Okay, I'm a kid. Yeah, you can scold a seven year old on a plane Yeah Tell them not to get in a chair It's not I need rules

Your chair If we were just like It's a good boy We'll catch up We'll keep talking We'll be friends It's too Things fall by the wayside you know

Don't they They do Inevitably You pulled it off with Zoe What do you mean? You and Zoe are friends outside of the podcast. My wife? Yeah.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Yeah, you're right about that. You know what, guy? Good point. How'd you pull that off? Touche. Well, the podcast is older than your relationship with

your wife yeah that is a fucking yeah that's a trip eh but your relationship with your wife is healthier i would hope so yeah i should very much think so what's the last thing zoe said when you were leaving the house she dropped me off at the airport. We had a drink at the bar. What did she say when you were leaving the house? Oh, I can't remember. Are you ready? Something like that.

It was your bag in the car. Yeah, something like that. And then at the bar, what was the last thing she said? I think, I love you. I love you too. One of those two things. Hi, guy. Say hi to guy.

Yeah, she did say that. Sorry, she did say that. She actually did. You didn't ferry that. I had to wrangle that out of you. Well, no, you would have just jumped on the mic. I, like, opened the door. You've got to push a mic in my hand.

You didn't come in and tell me that. You didn't kick the door down and say, Zoe says hi. 30 hours it took me to get here. Stop trying to drive a wedge between my friendship with Zoe. I've been dealing with multiple time zones, getting cooked in the hot Hawaiian sun at a flea market, and then some fucking ginger kid who's busting my chops. He's not busting your chops.

And now you're here, giving me hell for not immediately passing on my wife's good wishes to you. Well, can you please say hi Zoe? I will, because she does not listen to this show. I cannot stress that enough. I don't think she's ever listened to this show. I cannot stress that enough. I don't think she's ever listened to an episode. I respect that. Same. I think that's good.

You know, sometimes when you're apart, she probably does. No. She'd tell me. I reckon she would. She listens to other podcasts. She does. She loves podcasts. Voracious consumer of podcasts just

not my one that's okay i think it's good does chelsea listen when she misses me she listens that's cute yeah but it's the most fucked up uh way to pry open a window into you know how it's all going i don't think so i think it's nice this was if i if i missed you i would listen to the podcast truly yeah absolutely that is unhealthy just get in touch oh yeah you're right you're right did you uh notice anything in the movie this week there was a i don't even want to bring it up because I can't remember what it was, but there was a background extras line that I picked up, but I can't remember what it was.

Sorry. That's okay. Don't feel bad about it. I guess new. But my attention was drawn again to... I think last time we were together and we watched it, we saw this guy. It's in the Valentine's Day dinner scene between Miranda and Carrie,

and there's that guy in one shot who opens up.'s got a flavor saver it's a soul patch and he's got a little bit of beard sort of guy fieri almost ish looking um and he's just enthusiastically telling his data story i he's captured me i like him something so endearing about a person who really like presents you know yeah i uh it's not anything and it's actually i didn't we i still have half of carrie's um voiceover not to get not to get you on this episode but why not i follow your heart i don't want to record for that long fair enough uh but hey guys we don't have a lot of episodes left follow your heart do you know what i think we've fucked it up and we're going to only be one over what we had to do not if we not if we just watch it sometimes in our spare time why would we do that we won't yeah

uh we were so close that if we just didn't do this one, we would have been a perfect 52, I think. I like that we've gone over by one. It's a classy touch. We're classy gentlemen. I was just going to say that Carrie's line of, it was the best money I ever spent, New Year's Eve and a cup of noodles,

is even in writing it down and measuring it as a line of voiceover. Wherever you put the comma in there. Bridges the gap so carefully. It is user's choice. And I believe that it is user's choice on how that line can be interpreted. But a script was written. Where do you think Mattress Pikelet placed punctuation in that sentence? Because we've never

been able to decode it really to tease out what he's talking about i'm sorry let's should we give a bit of context so less of the common oh yeah so it's after she gives herself as saint louise louis vuitton a very disgusting patchwork louis vuitton handbag which looks like it costs tons and it sucks it would have and uh the part part of Carrie's personality that is St. Louise is very grateful and excited for this gift that she's given herself. And then we see, we actually, so we see her excited reaction. And this is fresh in our memory when we cut to Carrie Bradshaw in her apartment in pajamas on New Year's Eve.

Literally the next shot. And the voiceover says, it was the best money I ever spent on New Year's Eve. Literally the next shot. And the voiceover says, it was the best money I ever spent, New Year's Eve and a cup of noodles. And if I think about it just purely in terms of visual matching with the line of dialogue or the line of voiceover, the only logical conclusion to draw is that it is in reference to the cup of noodles.

Same. Because that's what the visual pairing is exactly but if the line seems so insensitive to i guess it doesn't matter if she's just talking about herself who gives a flying fuck really but even within the mental construction of her giving a gift to herself it is still the act of giving so shouldn't that an act we've just seen supersede her buying a cup of noodles for dinner i know but if you think of the value of money if you get a meal from say a 49 cent cup of noodles against a handbag for five thousand dollars that serves the same purpose as a sack yes and where's the

better value spend i love that that is a message that mattress parklet wants to insert in this film at this point. Amongst all of the materialism. Yeah, exactly. Like, hey, this movie is about two things, materialism and going back to harmful relationships. But right now, I want to take a breather and describe the value proposition of a 49-cent cup of noodles. And we're going to put it in dialogue.

We're going to put it on screen. We're going to put it in the plot. Yeah, yeah. yeah i'm gonna use all the power i have to endorse these noodles and the brand name is capo noodles or something it's the real it's like a white it's white and red color colorway you know the ones wow there's people who have whole uh track suits with that branding on it now people who have whole uh track suits with that branding on it now you've seen those i'd fuck with that you would definitely really in new zealand the big ones oh man when we were growing up it was two minute magic two minute noodles untouchable yeah untouchable their their market position and then just over the years they got a bit decimated by indo china me goring noodles yeah i know how i don't know how that happened, but...

It's because Indochina... I hope that's the brand. I'm pretty sure it is. Indochina Mee Goring Noodles have a flavor sachet similar to Maggi, but then they've also got the pouch, which has three different flavors on top of the two seasonings. Yeah.

One of them is pure MSG. One of them is some sort of... One of them is soy sauce. One of them is reconstituted onion, I think. And one is chili. The reconstituted... Oh, yeah, that's the MSG one. That's just...

It's literally... It's not even a flavor. It's literally a shine that it puts on the meal before you eat it. Those noodles are so... I am eating so much of them at the moment it's crazy because i found out i found out they're probably vegan i did a bit of research into it and the consensus is a bit of research and the consensus is they're probably vegan there's like there's a lot of discussion on this whether they're vegan or not if they're not

they're only just not but people like we're pretty sure they are. My man. Yeah, dude. Here's my shining light. It is... Oh, shoot. I just had it. It's Biggs' delivery of... Who put that in there? Page six?

Our wedding's on page six. Who put that in there? So earnest. Yeah, yeah. That's nice. That's a good shining light. I loved it. My shining light.

Love, love will keep us together, is... I can't say closing credits. He's struggling. I've got nothing for you. No, that's not true. Well, in light of your airplane anecdote, it's Brady amusing himself in the back of the cafe with a doll. Nice. It's the fact that for every child who needs to be taken car-car mid-flight after he's been wronged by an adult man

who's promised something that is not his to promise. Hold on. This feels like less movie and more a dig on child. There is a child who's happy to literally follow his mother around while she eats at various different restaurants. And like, ask for nothing. As it should be. Brady asks for nothing of either of his parents in this movie.

That's not how it works. No, he asks for nothing because he wants for nothing. Got a roof over his head. He's well fed. He's got Batman toys. What do you want? Maybe a sibling. We all know that you want maybe we all know that i think we all know the outcome of that sort of childhood well we we do actually yeah and it won't be long

until everyone else does as well this is absolutely and we're at the epicenter that's why we've chosen to broadcast here live from the center of the apocalypse new york city you're lousy with the stuff rats everywhere rats in the room right now. You don't know that. Define in the room. If they're inside the walls, is that in the room? Well, I guess there could be a rat anywhere. What if I told you I was a rat?

No. I'd say no. I'd block you. Thanks so much for listening. Tim's here. We're going to go and get some food now. Feels a bit short. Go fuck yourself, Tim.

Come and see us. First of all in New York City. And then the next night we'll be in Chicago. So it's the 23rd for New York City. 24th is Chicago. Some other date is Portland, Oregon. 26th in Portland, Oregon. And the 28th in los angeles

little empire podcasts.com forward slash live there is at least one secret special guest haven't decided if we're going to announce them or not but you will not want to miss them and we're not even going to tell you what city that person is in oh wow just rest assured we might announce i don't know i'll talk to you about it after this but we got a very cool person somewhere buy the tickets come and see us you love it bye bye we just have a good rhythm together you know he sort of feels me out i feel him out and we go for it He sort of feels me out, I feel him out. And we go for it.