The Worst Idea Of All Time - 51: Sunday in The Park (Live in Chicago)

Episode Date: June 27, 2019

 Please come to our live show in LAThe fellaz have made it to the windy city – Chicago and are performing in front of a live audience who have travelled far and wide to be part of the adventure. In spite of being in the city that’s home to Ferris Bueller, this has been a truly harrowing watch for the boiz who watched in their a leaky hostel abode. The knife’s here and picking questions, while Tim assembles some clues from the film. Guy wants Miranda's hair and a Worst Idea season two celebrity has made themselves known to The Fellaz via the medium of Instagram DMs.Photo credit: @rosemermaids on Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We just have a good rhythm together, you know, he sort of feels me out, I feel him out, and we go for it. Hello Chicago! Oh my god, what a pleasure to be here in the Windy City. Not just the Windy City, can I go on the record saying that? Truly, Chicago, the greatest city on God's green earth. All other cities, they pale in comparison to this. Not just the Windy City, but also in many ways the City of Gardens and the City of Water. The City of Houses and a city of water, a city of houses and a city of streets. We've been here for less than 16 hours and I will say

this, I would love to start a family and build a home in Chicago, Illinois. New York City, I spit on the grave of New York City. Portland, Oregon is a fucking wasteland and Los Angeles is rightfully about to run out of living resources for the residents in the state of California. But Chicago, Illinois. Yes, it is at the mercy of the whims of global warming. But otherwise, an immensely livable town. Thank you so much for having us.

Please give it up for our host, Sleeping Village. Great venue. Beautiful venue. Everyone here is fantastic. having us please give it up for our host Sleeping Village great venue beautiful venue everyone here is fantastic and it's just occurred to me and I'm fucking devastated to report that we usually have another co-host joining us on these shows we have a third co-host and that's The Knife

yeah and I am fucking devastated to say that I didn't bring it it's what I would be saying if I didn't but I did guy, I remember the knife you didn't see that coming did you? I know I really

I worked so hard to do this behind your back while we were at the accommodation you didn't see me do this eh? I hid it in a little bag when you weren't looking. I was sticking there. I'm not keeping eyes on you constantly, Tim.

You can do all sorts of... The co-host. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You've got to not... Yeah, it's cool, man. Don't gesture towards me or the audience with the knife

as a general rule of thumb. I'll tell you what. I didn't... It was no question in my mind whether or not you'd bring the knife. I was like, Tim's going to bring the knife. He used it in New York last night. The guy loves knives.

But what you did do is you sold that dummy. You forgot the knife really convincingly. Thank you. You fell for it? Well, yeah, I fell for it. And to the point where I hate that you always have one, but I fell badly for you. I was like, oh, I hope this doesn't throw Tim off his unflappable rhythm. No.

A knifeless Tim is a vulnerable Tim, and I say that mentally and physically. I'm going to have the knife nice and visible just to bring me comfort and confidence. How does this feel? I'll admit, not great. I haven't been on the receiving end of our third co-host before. I'll think twice about that in the future. No, so we arrived at,

I don't even know, 11.20am this morning. Chicago are here. One of my favourite airports, actually. Incredible amenities. Truly. The airport we left was shit. Yeah.

I paid $6.20 for an everything bagel with cream cheese at LaGuardia. I was fucking rope. Are you going to imagine me? I was furious. And then we're swanning through on our way to baggage claim. All these different vendors selling delicious foods. But we swan straight through. We knew what we were doing.

You've never seen a shop before. It's fantastic commerce and trade of food for the exchange of currency. It was truly amazing. It's a city that I didn't mention this before, but it's also a city of the future. What I found is if I approach some of these vendors, I could exchange money or goods for what they...

Anyway, through a bartering system. I don't know about you, Guy, but I want to get right into our watch today because it was fucking harrowing. It was so bad. What I have is admiration and love in my heart for my co-host Guy Montgomery who insisted that we really treat this one very seriously

and with dignity and respect because the watch that we really treat this one very seriously and with dignity and respect because the watch that we did um before the New York City live show was um a little distracted if we're being honest with ourselves which we need to be absolutely but today oh it was just us and the gals and it was a bad grisly scene. We're staying in a hostile top and bottom bunk. Tim got top and we put it on and we both, we sat in our respective bunks and we had phones

next to the screen and we just lived. You took my cell phone off me, which I thought was great. I felt like a teacher. I was grateful for it in a way. It's like, thank thank you a little bit of enforced discipline i needed this yeah and so we had them there and we we really gave it a go and letting this thing take hold and it was the amount of violence tim threatened on himself over the two and a half two and a half a long two and a half hours too

they say you threaten violence upon me as well though. You keep saying I just want to smack you in the head. No. I didn't say that. I said I want us both to punch each other in the head at exactly the same time. Yeah. And that's very different from just threatening violence upon you. Yeah. You told me at different times

that you want me to smash my hand into the mirror, take a shard of glass and cut you open. I didn't think that would be shared, but yes, I did say that. You, without prompt or my knowledge, put your belt around your neck and the other end around the handle of the bunk and started saying, you should see what I'm up to.

That was so... What was weird about that was because I did, like... I was just very absentmindedly because I didn't have my phone or any other objects around me. I was like, well, what have I got to kind of fiddle with while I watch this movie that I've seen six billion times now? And so I was like, oh, I've got a belt. So I just, without even thinking, took my belt off.

That's why they take belts off people in prison. Yeah, I totally understand it now. And just wrapped it around my neck and then tightened it around one of the steel trellis bits of the bunk and just started tightening it. And then kind of caught myself doing it like I hadn't had a thought about it.

And then I was like, what the fuck? Yeah. I was like, hey, guy, what am I doing? And at first I ignored him. I was watching the movie. But then five minutes later he said,

guy, you should really see what I'm doing. And yeah. There was one other pretty... With the pen. Yeah, you said you wanted to jab a pen up your nose. No, it was through my ear to see if it'd get to my brain. We don't need to go through all of it. There were a variety of ways, quite creative ways,

that you described wanting to harm yourself, which I think was representative of the mental state that we had while watching the film. It was as the weather cleared on yet another, so far this year, I would say roughly 150 perfect Chicago days, a city famous for its climate consistency. cargo days a city famous for its climate consistency yeah as this as the the rain clouds cleared and the the blue sky shone through we were trapped inside of this uh this physical and and emotional prison only freed by a constant drip that was coming through yeah obviously the

podcast going well because we're sharing uh our bunk beds in a hostel and there's unrelenting drip of not clear water but very thick and viscous yellow water yeah at first I thought

it was honey but then it dropped like water because it was so thin it was the colour of honey and then I because I saw the drip and I was like

hey guy what's going on there and you're like oh we should change rooms I was like it's a drip and then I was like wait hey, guys, what's going on there? And you're like, oh, we should change rooms. I was like, it's a drip. And I was like, wait. Good water isn't colored like that. It was a very Antibodean response.

Because we went and told the, what do you call them? The teller? The vendor? Who was at the front? Front of house person. Yeah, yeah. And we said to the front of house vendor, we said. Now listen here, vendor.

Yeah, yeah. Now pray tell what exactly is going on with your ceiling? I hasten to add, this is literally two-star accommodation but rated 4.4 stars for being two-star accommodation. So you can't set your expectations

too high. What we're saving on money, we're losing in quality. Funny there. The guy came through and we were so apologetic. We were like, I don't know what we've done by being in here, but it appears we've created a drip in the roof, falling over ourselves to take responsibility for the faulty fucking accommodation that we're paying them to stay in. And the guy said, hey, said hey well i got good news

for you we're changing rooms no one's gonna have to be on the top or bottom bunk now you both get bottom bunks can you imagine this two boys and a four sleeper birth room at the very same hostel one floor up presumably the room from which the drip originates it's so funny because you hear so many stories about people getting upgraded in their hotels, like the honeymoon suite or the penthouse or a king room. But our situation was we got upgraded to a room that had another set of bunks. We're like, yes, beat the system.

So that's where we were watching it. And there was, I would say, also that came with about 40 minutes left in the movie. So there was a... That did somewhat set us free from the prison that we were in. Oh God, we were so grateful for something else in Trudy. If we want to get into the particulars of the movie, I did have a pretty...

I'd like to get into a shining light, if I may. Guy has produced a notebook. And I'm actually fearful I've articulated this before, but it made me feel very serene at a time when I was feeling quite restless and negative. When Charlotte calls up after screaming for her, you know,

it's the first line of dialogue at every turn. I don't know how it's written in the script, but I imagine it says, Charlotte screams apropos of nothing, and then whatever the line of fucking dialogue is. I've got nothing but love and respect for Kristen Davis and the choices she makes as an actor,

but that character is a fucking disaster. And, she screams, and she calls up Carrie and says, ah, your wedding's on page six. And there's a back and forth, a tete-a-tete

between Carrie and Big, where she relays, ferries the information over to Big. And, Who would put that on there? Yeah That's what Big says I love it

You know I feel I feel like that's kind of coy of Big because I think he knows that they're of public interest Of course he does But he

It's faux humility isn't it? Or do you think he's genuinely humble? No it's faux It's put on That's what makes him so good But he doesn't appear

to be bothered by the trimmings and trappings of modern day life. He doesn't want any of the naughty... He doesn't want... You know, like, I think there's probably... He's a simple man. They don't open it up. Exemplified by the fact that you give him a book. Yeah. He's not reading it.

You give him a book. Give the man a book, he'll read the book. Give a book a book, he will, I don't know, have a doorstop, depending on the size of it. I don't know. Start a fire? Yeah, give a booger book. Yeah, you've wasted a book.

So she's saying it's on page six, and he's standing there, he's got an empty coffee cup, as he always does, and he's moving it around, this weightless coffee cup, you know, as so many actors in movies love to do. The director says, you know I could put fluid in there. And they say, no, no. I studied mime. I think I can carry an empty cup as though there's fluid.

So he's sort of holding his coffee cup like this. I don't care if you studied under Marcel Marceau himself. Put some fucking liquid in there. Physics is real and it shows up in screen. Do yourself a favour. Just make it water. We're not going to know the difference if it's coffee or water. I hope the system is sitting up and paying attention because...

We're speaking truth to power. Yeah, the system just got licked. But so in the background of frame, there's this beautiful painting or possibly a printed canvas from Target. And it's an ocean of this like quite beautiful sort of between azure and navy blue. And there's a figure in a rowboat.

You've got to laugh for azure. Yeah. That's so good. As you are. And they're in what we call a dinghy, but it's a very tranquil piece of imagery. Is a dinghy... Do Americans know what a dinghy...

Yeah, cool, sorry. Just checking. So, yeah, the image is a bird's-eye view of someone in calm waters in a boat just miles away from all of their problems. Failed political leader in New Zealand called David Cunliffe said there's not a lot of problems a man can't solve when he's out on the water.

And I'm paraphrasing here. I don't think it was about problem solving for him. I think it was about getting away. How many of you... This is off-brand. What is off-brand? He was leader of the opposition for six days. Yeah.

Why did you hold on to that quote from David Cunliffe? A lot of high-quality soundbites in those six days. He was robbed. Jacinda Ardern shivved that man. He should be our leader. Anyway, that's all by the by. I like that we've come all the way to Chicago to discuss this intimate New Zealand political issue.

But no, so beautiful, tranquil imagery, someone in a boat, they're away from land, they're away from screens, they're away from the problems of their life, and I looked at that and I fantasized about it and I could appreciate it both as a piece of art in an apartment that the characters live in, and as a place that I personally, emotionally

and physically would have liked to be at the time. And that was my shining light. And can I say this? It's great to be in Chicago, the world's greatest city. Funny you mention that, because what you've just described reminds me so much of a scene in Ferris Bueller,

a movie set in this very town we're in. Starring friend of the podcast, Matthew Broderick. And let me stop you there. Okay. There's a sequence where they go to, is it the Museum of Modern Art? Does anyone here work for a rental car company? Art Institute of Chicago.

And they're looking at a is it a Monet? I'm not sure who Seurat? George Seurat I think we've got some culture fucking Chicagoans in

and so Cameron's looking at the painting it's a famous painting apparently it's not Sunday in the Park is it? yeah it's Sunday in the Park alright cheers

were you applauding your own knowledge there's a woman with a baby and Cameron it goes like between him and the baby and it like just does the zoom in that's what I feel like you were doing you were getting fucking in there

with the boat that's what it felt like. It's funny. It's so funny you should bring up Matthew Broderick and then immediately slap a goddamn muzzle on me because I've got some pretty interesting trivia about that gentleman. I don't know if anyone here works for a rental car company, but if you see this strapping young lad, Matthew Broderick,

approach the bench, do not rent that man a car. Monty, we don't talk about it. We don't. Alright? We don't. I mean, what I was doing a little bit was filling in time. Oh my gosh, it's Matthew Broderick. Nah, dude.

Nah. We don't do that here. I had like three shining lights. I can't remember a goddamn single one. You took three shining lights out of that? Jesus. I wrote some stuff down, but it was mainly pictures. We went full, like, we went insane this watch.

Do you know what was interesting? Because we were on these separate bunks. So in a sense, we were watching. In a cosmic sense, we were watching together. But physically sense we were watching we were in a cosmic sense we were watching together but physically we were watching apart and that meant that we both unraveled sort of there was a synchronicity to the mental deterioration but also we took it took its own forms i would stand up and look in the mirror and make i'd make angry face myself go it was it was terrifying you can't say no you well you did it to the, but then you directed that face at me. And I put on a brave face, but it was scary, man.

I didn't like it. What were you doing in the meantime? I went blues clues on it. And I have just drawn a bunch of pictures. And one of them is a syringe with a drip coming out for the Botox. What does that represent? Botox. Botox reference. Samantha says, honey, you got Botox? coming out for the Botox. What does that represent? Botox. Botox reference.

Yeah. Samantha says, honey, you got Botox? I didn't get Botox. Yeah. That's when Carrie's ringing her. She says, honey,

you finally got Botox. Yeah. I didn't get Botox. Oh, you're going to love it, she says. But she didn't get Botox. Well, she did, but not, you know,

she doesn't acknowledge it. She's engaged to be married. Has SGP had Botox? Almost definitely. I've got, what is the, oh oh it's a ring. I think it's about time that we used our platform to speculate on the

way that these women look. Don't you? Moving on I've got a drawing a picture of the wedding ring which is just a circle inside another circle. It looks a lot like a...

Yeah. Well, it's the order in which the images were drawn. The syringe came after the wedding ring. In order, you drew a wedding ring, and then you drew what is directly beneath the wedding ring. What's that? It's a penis. Yeah.

And when those two images were on the page alone, it resembled a wedding... A sphincter, sorry. It does. Yeah. Yeah, it does look like that. And then I drew a wedding dress sphincter sorry it does yeah yeah it does look like that and then I drew a wedding dress

which is Carrie's one can I show just anyone I want to show you Sam here Sam by the way everyone can you imagine this travelled nine hours

on a bus from Minneapolis not alone don't think of him as a hero thank you I'm sorry I forgot your name that's Tasha Tasha also travelled nine hours from Minneapolis Not alone. Don't think of him as a hero. Thank you. I'm sorry, I forgot your name.

That's Tasha. Tasha, also 9 hours from Minneapolis. Can you please describe what Tim thinks is a wedding... Fucking A, on the same bus? No. Oh. Us too. What? Half of Minneapolis is in Chicago.

Seize the tower now! Can you please describe what Tim thinks is a wedding dress? It's that one there. It looks like Tingle's outfit from... Tingle? Yeah, from Young Lake. He's like a character from Zelda. Yes.

I've handed it to someone who has more pop culture references than I do. It looks like a scary mushroom all this to say that Tim's ability to render a wedding dress in two dimensions is lacking somewhat never claimed to be a visual artist and then what was the other picture you drew? the wardrobe I'm throwing the pictures on the ground

did I even take notes and like word for it? you keep saying whenever they'd say a prompt they'd say another clue and then frantically draw down some of the worst imagery I've seen I'll share this this is a note I wrote yesterday

but I don't think I actually brought it up on the podcast episode. How dumb is Carrie for not knowing, and I am skipping ahead, spoiler alert, if you haven't seen the movie. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We don't want to spoil this for some of these sex, some of the Sex and the City fans

who have stumbled along to the only committed Sex and the City podcast recording in Chicago tonight. When Harry reveals to Carrie that Big has been writing her and she's taken aback. She's like, he's never written to me. That's not true. He doesn't write to me. It's not a thing. She already fucking knows that he does.

Because Louise gets that first email from him and she instructs her to put the email somewhere she'll never find it. She's so stupid. Yeah, yeah. You've got to remember, Louise is a construction of Carrie's own imagination. So there's several layers of mental barriers that she's put between herself

and the fact that Mr Big still pines after her. It's like Carrie's done to herself what Professor Xavier has done to Jean Grey, if you're an X-Men fan. You and Sam should get together and talk about all the things I don't understand. We're doing a spin-off podcast. What's it called? It's an

okay idea of all time. Two white guys host a pop culture podcast. Brand new format. I don't know if the medium's ready. The amount of press coverage you boys are going to command is too high. So that's your shining light? That Carrie is stupid?

Would you allow it? You told me that you had three shining lights, then you detailed a bunch of illustrations and had a quibble with Carrie's intelligence. I keep saying them out loud to you. Well's intelligence i keep saying them out loud to you well i said two of them out loud to you and i hope that you would you would hold on to one of my shining lights i was on my own journey man i know i will have a shining light by the time we finish but i will mental time i well actually i took some before we get into the the very

generously submitted questions i i took some other notes I love you could have this hey this is a bit condescending hey why don't you have this is your shining light this is a bit of fun I'll fucking take it

at this point we've never spoken about it but it is one of the most alpha we've never spoken about something I think we've never spoken about this

it's one of the most alpha and American moves I think in the movie and it speaks to the confidence of these characters that when they go out for dinner at the Mexican resort,

it's the first time Carrie's sort of eaten away from the honeymoon suite, the waiter comes over and Samantha says, we'll start with cuatro margaritas. It is just the most

beautifully distilled amount of information and ignorance. Yeah. So excited to put the word Quattro out there dressed up by nothing but the English language. Hey, to be fair, Margaritas is Spanish. No, not the way she says it. I don't even know if that's true.

Honestly, I can't believe we haven't, like, fucking, you know, rolled our sleeves up and partied in this area before. When you go overseas to a language that speaks another language and you know a couple of words and you're juiced, you do dumb shit like that.

No, but you try... I feel like if you are... I keep referring to the boot of the car as the trunk while I'm over here in America. I feel like it's the same thing. I'm calling Jandals flip-flops. I said to a Lyft driver, I said, we're going to need to open up the boot.

And Tim sort of took me aside and said, no, no, no, go. Where do you think we are? Here they call it a trunk. And then he winked at the cabbie. And the cabbie winked back. And they exchanged knife information. Anyway. I just think, I can't believe we haven't really addressed that before

because it is like, it's a moment of pure silliness. Yeah, it's kind of the distillation of a stereotypical American trait we would mock internationally. So I want you fuckers to know this is what we're saying behind your back. No, but we love and respect you. We have to. They've got military bases all over the world. That's the kind of love and respect money can buy.

I don't want a mother of all bombs turning up in the South Pacific. We wouldn't stand a bloody chance. We're tiny. Yeah. We've got a couple of drones, though, from DJI, so we'd take some really good video footage of it, but that's about it. That's out, Air Force.

Some good drones. There's nothing you can't do with a couple of good drones, except defend your country. There's one big one't do with a couple of good drones, except defend your country. There's one big one, but otherwise they're pretty good. But no, yeah, Americans, here's some information. I'm going to, did anybody order some tea? Oh, God. No, you guys are very, the way you talk, it's very confident.

You all sound very confident, even if you don't know. And it's really intimidating. This is the fucking dude with the podcast where he watches the same movie all the time. Tours it internationally. That's confidence. No, that's luck. Or the opposite of luck.

And the other one is that when I hear, when I or we, I speak for other people, when I hear your accents, I assume that you are performing and all of your conversations with one another ring insincere to me. And I think a lot of them could use a judicious edit because I'm like, this wouldn't make it to TV. I am aware you're going about your lives,

but that is what it's like. It is confusing. It's a strange quirk of, you guys are the victim of your own success. Yeah. Of the amount of cultural exporting you do. You're so good at film and television. Why would we put the garbage we make on telly on prime time

the Americans are selling us stuff for cheap, we'll put that on the air so all the kids grow up we have definitely talked about this before there's a weird thing that happens in New Zealand that happens in other countries where if you're like doing any character that isn't yourself when you're little

you put on an American accent even if they're not American it's the strangeest shit character that isn't yourself when you're little, you put on an American accent? Even if they're not American. It's the strangeest shit. If I hear an American accent I assume they're meant to entertain me and if I hear a British accent I think they're in charge. As soon as I hear

a British person I'm like, oh it's going to be okay. Someone's in charge. Imagine what the Germans would have felt like in World War II. Yeah, if I hear a German accent, I'm usually like, oh, now this is going to be good. We've solicited for some questions from our lovely audience, who I feel like we've been giving a really hard time so far. Sorry.

We're sleep deprived. We're cranky boys. Chosen at random. I feel great. Speak for yourself, Tim. What will you do to celebrate when you're done? Love from Brian from Toronto. Well, today we spoke about going to the cinema

to watch Toy Story 4 together. Yeah. That'd be nice. Yeah. And it's touching too apparently I would genuinely I would love to do that because we've got a day off together

we're going to have a barbecue and then we might go to the cinema before that'd be really nice and then what are you going to do with all the time that's suddenly available to you we're not going to talk anymore you know that right I don't have a lot on to be honest oh no available to you? We're not going to talk anymore. You know that, right?

I don't have a lot on, to be honest. Oh, no? That's where this season was born from. That same place. Next question. What movies are off limits to being watched

past a miserable death? Okay, have I misread this? What movies are off limits to being watched past the death of the movie is the reference to the question okay also

one day you should watch them drink for drink coffee for coffee as you watch and see what happens I'll match them drink for drink

that's a popular thing to do with the movie The Big Lebowski because he famously the dude what he likes to do is he'll the big lebowski because he famously the the dude what he likes to do is he'll have a drink and he'll also smoke and you're meant to say he'll smoke oh a joint yeah and so you're meant to see if you can get through the whole movie if you um fuck how would that guy for sex in the city one okay first part of the question movies off limits

to being watched but yeah well i mean this isn't a good idea the clue was in the name like I would say that you know with the right attitude you can debase any piece of cinema you just need to like constantly watch I don't want to put rules on anything I don't think any movie would

withhold the amount of scrutiny under which we've put the four movies that we have done this totally and you know that it's it's artistic merit is irrelevant to to the experiment because it's just like as soon as you remove value and meaning from something like that it just it ceases to exist as it was intended we are not watching sex in the city the way it was dreamed up in a cabin in the woods by Mattress Pike This is not what he had in mind. All of that to say there are no limits. And if

we were to drink one for one, I mean I think we'd be okay. I think we'd be alright to be honest. Probably wouldn't be a mile away from sometimes what we do. Yeah. I mean I almost passed out in a fucking bathtub recently watching away from sometimes what we do. Yeah. I mean, I almost passed out in a fucking bathtub recently

watching it in VR. So we do push the boat out. I will say this. Tim was actually having PTSD about his full immersion experience today. We were watching the movie and he kept saying, without prompt, he's going,

that was actually really bad, guy. He said full immersion was bad. It was. It was scary is what it was. I was scared I was going to pass out and either drown or electrocute myself. When watching other movies, do you ever get confused and

think you're watching Sex and the City? Or any other movie you've done for the show. It's a two-parter, so there's the first one. Confusion? Yeah. You do? You tune out, someone delivers a line, which is very normal.

Like a waitress goes up to someone and says, can I help you? And you're like, Charlotte's about to go into labour. Bring your car around. I always draw lines between, like if I hear a word or a turn of phrase that prompts a memory of something else,

which I actually do beyond movies, it stays with you in real life. I'm constantly looking out for an opportunity to say it's true, even if it isn't, from the halcyon days of growing up too. And actually quite recently when we were in New York City, Tim and I, we ate some magic mushrooms and traipsed across the Williamsburg Bridge.

And when we got to the other side, I remember I turned to you and I said, when they go to Abu Dhabi, does Miranda say Abu Dhabi do? Yeah, I forgot about that. You did say that. Like you couldn't believe. Yeah, and Tim said yes. And I said, nice. And then after a while I said, it's important because that functions as a joke for the character

and a joke outside of the movie. And I don't know why, but that gave me a great sense of peace. So if the question was, will the ill effects of what you've done stay with you for time immemorial? The answer is yes. The second part of the question is do you ever dream about sex in the city i don't think i have my dreams are very strange and esoteric though they don't reference anything that exists yeah they're weird i uh probably on account of the mushrooms

if i'm being honest a full i don't dream of sex in the city, but like, so today, for example, there was a point at which I was for about, I would say less than three minutes, like just on the cusp of being unconscious and Tim woke me up. Because your eyes were closed. Yeah. But I was listening along,

but when I was, all I was thinking about was, I asked you about it as soon as you woke me up, which was like, do you think, this is a moral question for you, so with regards to Steve cheating on Miranda as he does in the film, is there...

Hold on. You're saying that like there's another way he did that outside of the film we watched? Their lives go on when the movie isn't playing, Tim. I love the guy as much as you do, but for all we know, he's a dirty dog. No, so when... Is there a moral distinction

to be drawn between having... So he cheats on Miranda and then he tells her. And we are to believe, from the way it's presented in the movie, that the turnaround between cheating and confessing is immediate. That he has sex with someone else and then he turns to Miranda and says so. And as I was

sort of flirting with sleep I was pondering over the question whether or not it is more reprehensible to cheat on someone and then before telling them have sex with your partner. And so in that way there's not just an emotional betrayal,

but there's an element of physical betrayal. That was a really interesting angle. So just to clean that up, if you didn't follow the ramblings of this madman. You have a partner and you sleep with someone who isn't them and then you sleep with your partner and then tell them at that point that you've

slept with someone else. I think it's way worse by factors because you're still like in a relationship and taking physical intimacy actions without them having information they need to make that decision. It's fucked up and I never thought

about it before. Yeah, because that's what I mean, obviously I don't think it before. Yeah. Because that's what... I mean, yeah. Obviously, I don't think it was about to be a great bit of kip for me. It's not a very healthy mental state to be going into it, pondering over that. It's an interesting thing you dwelled on, though. But that, like...

I don't necessarily dream of sex in the city, but so long as it is surrounding me in that state... You chew over it. Yeah, it colours my subconscious thoughts. So, great question. And actually, can I take a moment to say, great answer. Thanks, Guy. No, don't clap though.

You get one, Tim. All I want to do is talk about Brady, to be honest. Go ahead. I just feel like Brady is such an incredible character who has received not enough love and attention from us in this season of the podcast there's not enough brady there's not enough brady but that doesn't mean in some ways it's more useful because there's enough there's enough whiteboard that we can project onto him. No, but even then, Brady is but a structural and storytelling... Here's the issue.

He's a pawn in Mattress Pikelet King's sick game to tell a story and try and force empathy upon the audience to these unrelatable and abhorrent characters. Well, there's one interpretation. The other is that it's the greatest story ever told. Eventually. What we see are the seeds that grow and flourish into the origin story of Brady the Rat King.

But because... I mean, first of all, the other characters in the movie do not pay enough respect or mind to the disintegration of Miranda and Steve's relationship breaking down and the fact that Brady is involved. Is that part of it? Yeah, fuel on the fire they don't the other characters don't respect the fact that miranda and steve are going through this experience and so if they're not going to respect the two most prominent figures in their day-to-day lives in this breakup which are miranda and steve

i mean we're not given enough information to really fuel our minds with regards to Brady. Like, he is an afterthought of an afterthought. The breakup of their relationship is an afterthought. And then within that, the idea of how Brady's doing is completely forgotten, which is exactly the supervillain origin story that we need and crave, isn't it? So, you know, they always give you just enough to develop empathy for the person who becomes evil. You're like, oh, I can see how this happened. Because of that. I can see how Brady got this way.

Today we did a fun roleplay where Batman found Brady at his mum's apartment. It was like, with your rats and my bats. We is a strong word. Gotham could be ours. You started doing a Batman voice and throwing lines out. Do you ever get worried that the information you have in your head as a result of the podcast is taking up room that maybe could be occupied by other people?

I like to think it's exclusively pushing out the bank of 90s and early 2000s song lyrics that I simply cannot get rid of. Okay. That is what I'm hoping it's supplanting. Okay, alright. It's the stuff on the bottom shelf. It's not good knowledge. I mean, it's not really my...

Although it probably is totally my choice. Do you remember how to do simultaneous equations? I don't even... I genuinely don't even understand the question. Everyone in school is like, oh, you've got to know math. Yeah. Literally two people needed to know math. The rest of us can take it off.

That's probably true. I reckon that's right. Question asker asks, does Rufus find Samantha's dog sexually attractive? Good question. Rufus is my dog. Does Rufus... Rufus is my dog. Does Rufus... Rufus is a bit young, I think. He's...

How old is Rufus in human years? Three years? In human years? Four years. Oh, there's a human. Okay, six months times seven is 42 divided by 12. It's three and a half. Three and a half years old.

The answer is six. I'm one of the two. No, you're not because the answer was six months. I wanted to know just an hour time. Oh, sorry. Dog years. Well done, fucking rain man. Steady on.

So you're telling me that your dog does not have sexual inclinations yet? Well, I think I'm hoping he probably does now, actually. He's only just started humping stuff occasionally. Sometimes when you and Zoe are sleeping I coax Rubis out into the lounge And show him photos from horse and hound That's really weird man My answer to the question is I hope not

I want my boy to be my little boy forever That's sweet but also totally misguided. And going to make parenting a living nightmare for you. Do you have any pre-viewing rituals or prep at all before viewing the movie each week? This is another two-parter. We'll answer that one first. For me, it is literally putting it off.

It's so accurate. one first for me it is literally uh if putting it off it is doing anything accurate it is it is doing anything else it is honestly watching this movie is what forces productivity to me at times because i'm like i've got to watch the movie but that gives me two hours before i have to start so i can do this and this yeah uh there's nothing to prepare my mental you know i'm just what can one do as is where is for me yeah you no totally the same i mean it's the only reason that the the lawns get mowed at my house it's the only reason the bathroom gets cleaned it's uh yeah a force for good well it is i guess ultimately it is yeah. And then the second part is, how do you pick what movie you'll watch each year? I mean, there's nothing.

There's nothing. Like one year, when we picked We Are Your Friends, this is how it went. We were backstage. I would like to say this was a tremendous misstep. We were backstage at the LA live show watching the movie because we decided to do it in the green room to like come out and have it fresh as possible and we were just like hey so are we

fucking doing another season or not like we hadn't decided and then we just sort of figured we would make it up on stage and whatever we said out loud would be right and we would have to commit to it. So I think we had a short list of five or six film titles and it was just a race to see who would pick one the first out loud. And it happened to be, I think I said, we are your friends.

And then suddenly, that's the season. The way we got into Sex and the City is a lot funnier though, I think. Sex and the City 2. Sex and the City is a lot funnier though I think Sex and the City 2 was that because we missed Sex and the City 2 was because it was

the funniest yeah I made a video with like photos of everyone and sent us listening to the podcast

over the year and then the last bit was and the boys will be back for season 2 and then we tried lots of different

movie posters to just appear at that moment and the boys will be back for season two. And then we tried lots of different movie posters to just appear at that moment. And the image of Carrie Bradshaw on a desert walking towards the camera was just so dramatic and absurd. It was that paired with the run time was the other thing we thought was funny. Fucking A. And that was wrong.

I was going to say never again, but here we are. Yeah. I would like to say that We Are Your Friends is technically not podcast canon. Although, do you know that yesterday morning I woke up to a DM on Instagram in my other folder from a user with 13,000 followers by the name of Alex Schaefer. And all they had written in the message was, Hey, it's me, Squirrel. And I sort of clicked through the profile and I was like,

It does look a bit like Squirrel. And I wrote back and said, Holy shit, hey man. How did you find me? And he said, lol, someone told me about podcasts when you were still doing it. And I wanted to come on for an episode, but I thought maybe it would upset people, so I ended up not reaching out.

I was like, ha ha ha ha ha. Man, we would have loved to have you so damn much. Where are you at the moment? We're on tour in the States, touring in the city right now. Would love to grab a beer. And then he said, I didn't say anything funny.

This motherfucker's thirsty. He said, yeah, it would have been funny. Maybe for We Are Your Friends 2. Something I didn't know about. Well, he's definitely not in it if it exists. I know. If you've got 13,000 followers on the back of being in a Zac Efron vehicle, things aren't going so red hot.

It's true. But anyway, all that to say, we exchanged a few messages and hopefully we'll be able to... Are we having a beer with him? A lot of this is news to me. No, no, he's in New Jersey. So our window of opportunity as a unit is closed. But in a world of dreams,

I would love to get him on a friend zone and talk about the making of We Are Your... Shit, yeah. I think enough time's passed. In a fucking tank, like no one's going to care now. How much more damage could he do to the product that hasn't already been done?

I can't believe that he... He must have been pissed or stoned or something because it's so far after the movie, so far after the podcast, and then just idling away on Instagram like, yeah, I know what I'll do. It's so cool though. It's quite amazing.

It's great. The world is shrinking around us. We don't have a ton of time left. Do you want to do more of these? What are you looking at? There's a clock up there. Holy shit. Yeah.

It's got the weather on it. Yeah. 71 degrees. On Monday, the 24th of June, 9.14pm, here in Chicago, Illinois, the greatest city on earth. Yeah, you guys love it. Should we do one more?

This one looks like it was written by a three-year-old with their bad hands. Hold on, we're going to do two more. Which should represent the best possible question. If you had to have the hair of one of the girls, who would you pick? Charlotte. Charlotte? As I say, this has got no punctuation. Charlotte no Charlotte

as I say this has got no punctuation it looks like it was written by someone who will go out and source the hair take our third co-host go

have at it why Charlotte she's got beautiful hair she does have beautiful yeah I think I'd actually take I would take Miranda's hair. The redhead.

I think it would look becoming on me. And I think if I was wearing that then maybe sweet baby Steve might be coming on me as well. The last question this is going to be tricky. I'm going to get the knife to pick it but the thing is that

the nib has broken so hopefully this still works. I'm going to get the knife to pick it but the thing is is that the nib has broken so hopefully this still works I'm going to scatter some of these out on the stage and then I'm going to let the knife decide what is the last question

okay how are you going to do that chuck it up in the air I can't imagine this functioning you can't even really see what I'm doing because I'm behind the old table. No, I mean not only can no one in the room

see what you're doing, certainly no one listening along. Pick true, pick well. Oh, nice. Okay. Knifey has selected the following question. If you could recast one person in this film with Paddy Schwartz, who would it be?

Well, it's got to be someone he's given a lot to. I would love to see Paddy Schwartz as Mr Big, to be completely honest. He's got the same sort of confused face and general attitude towards life that would mean... Very beautiful. Yeah, he's physically more beautiful than Noth.

Noth is a dish. So that, for me, it would have to be... I just love to see, because I think he's grown as an actor, and from what I understand, some of his more recent performances have received, if not critical acclaim, not necessarily critical disdain. Guys desperately trying to chase down a beer with Paddy Schwartz because we're off to LA next.

Yeah. And of course, famously, he still listens. Grease those wheels. I think I would like to see Grown Ups 2 era Paddy Schwartz well out of his depth you know nice even while everyone else

is phoning it in and he's trying his hardest that would be very funny interplay yeah I think that's perfect that's absolutely perfect you co-sign?

I 100% do do you co-sign because of timing reasons? no I think what you said was great do you? do you want me to go back

on that? do you still think what I said was great? yeah well? Do you want me to go back on that? Do you still think what I said was great? Yeah. Well then I stand by your opinion. I stand by my man which is you, Guy Montgomery. We are, do you know we are, we're friends

and we're in love. You guys decided. I said to my partner on the phone today, I said Tim and I are having such a good time. We've been having such a good time in bed. Purely platonic. And she said, why would you say purely... Platonic.

I had my headphones on at the time listening to the motion soundtrack for Beetlejuice. I didn't hear any of this. I said, I don't really know. I just wanted you to know that it's only platonic and she said wasn't a point of

concern or curiosity for me oh boy I need to get home anyway to my wife in New Zealand all of that

all of that to say it's a good thing that we're on separate bunks cause um look the truth of the matter is we love each other. Guy and I through thick and thin, the Frosty Fellas up against the world. We're so delighted to be here in Chicago.

We're so grateful that you fine folk came out, especially the people from Minneapolis in particular. That's crazy. So please give yourselves a round of applause. Thank you so much for coming to the worst idea of all time. We just have a good weekend together, you know. He sort of feels me out, I feel him out. And we go for it.