The Worst Idea Of All Time - And Just Like That... Part 1

Episode Date: December 18, 2021

Guy has enjoyed himself and Tim is furious (and fairly hammered); Welcome to an exciting new era in New York City and also in podcasting. The mad lads commence a watch along podcast following And Just Like That... checking in with the heroes and villains of the Sex and The City universe. How will the show address the absence of Samantha? What has become of our noble young stead, Brady? HAVE ANY OF THESE WOMEN DEVELOPED ONE SCINTILLA OF SELF AWARENESS. Surely they wouldn't dream of killing a person in the show to develop some emotional stakes... would they?MUSIC CREDIT: Intro - People Need Goals / Outro - ampersandschwa Resources for survivors of sexual violence. Please reach out and talk to someone.USA Victim Connect Resource Centre: https://victimconnect.org/resources/national-hotlines/ Australian Respect Network: https://www.respect.gov.au/services/ UK Rapecrisis: https://rapecrisis.org.uk/get-help/want-to-talk/ NZ localised support groups for survivors: https://sexualabuse.org.nz/resources/find-sexual-assault-support-near-you/ Canadian Sexual Assault Centres, Crisis Lines, and Support Services: https://endingviolencecanada.org/sexual-assault-centres-crisis-lines-and-support-services/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello. After we'd recorded the first two episodes of this dumb little series, horrific allegations came to light about actor Chris Noth who portrays Mr Big. We're not going to get into these allegations in depth for the simple reason that we're aware a lot of you listen to this dumbass podcast as a respite from harder times in your life. We would never want to diminish or ignore allegations about powerful men and we've included crisis phone numbers for the usa uk australia canada and new zealand in the show notes we applaud these women and all vulnerable people who speak truth to power and we hope that they find some peace and justice now on with our silly little podcast Oh my God, they're only doing sex in the city again. This truly is the worst idea of all time.

Ahem. Welcome along, everybody. And just like that, we're back with Sex and the City. Tim and Guy here. Listen. Listen. Listen to me. If you're new around here, here's what's happened. Guy Montgomery and myself, Tim Batt,

are two New Zealand-based comedians who watched Sex and the City 2, the movie, for a year, weekly. We watched it over 52 times because i think we did some bonus ones we then followed that up by watching the first sex in the city movie a similar amount of times also for a year we have not seen the original hbo show the odd episode here and we do not consider it to be canon it's not canon to us however dears, we are diving into this new season and just like that. And Guy and I have just finished.

Just finished watching. On its release day in New Zealand. We're at the water. Just for context. It's 9.42 p.m. We're in the mobile studio. In the driver's and passenger passengers seat of a Fiat Punto. And

the tide is out. We're in an estuary so it's just, you know, sort of dry seaweed covered dirt as far as the eye can see. And we've just spent 43 minutes in the company of not four but three of our

familiar friends and foes. Yeah. And, of course, the fifth gal, New York City. And I've got to say, that was a total experience. That was an incredible journey. Like, the ending of episode one. Oh, we're going to spoil everything. So just so you know.

This is a watch-along podcast. Pause it now go watch it like we're gonna fuck your shit up yeah um big time but that was honest like honestly i enjoyed it and there's a few reasons i think why that is you're fucked in the head mate and i can't wait to hear you number one i am fucked in the head, mate. And I can't wait to hear this. Number one, I am fucked in the head. Number two, I think to see these characters, and this is something that we speculated about a lot on some of the depths of our hardest moments

on Seasons of the Podcast, is to see these characters in a new environment, to see them making new decisions, is like, honestly feels like ground it feels like groundbreaking television hold on this is a fucked way to assess this first episode of the new season so based on the fact that you haven't seen this 40 times before you're like this deserves an emmy i roughly, yeah. Something approximate to that. But more than that. Incredibly, there's also written by Mattress Pikelet King.

And I think directed by as well. I'm very confident on that. Incredibly funny. As you said when we were watching it, he is a man with some shit to get off his chest. Oh, the dude is weird. Instead of just going to therapy like a normal human being he's decided to bang down the door of hbo to get another season commissioned because

he needs to work out his demons about how the world doesn't treat him good no that's right but i will say this there is an interesting thing that they have done in this in this episode at least maybe not in the season of this show which is they have set this and just like that they've set the show in a world where the characters are perceived as intolerable sort of but not in the way that they actually are this was i this was so fucked up and i'm kind of mad that you enjoyed it and intrigued and back to angry again like a loop de loop on a

rollercoaster, which this was. Here's what happened guys. I want to go big picture first and then we'll dive in. Okay. Does that sound good? I'm ready. This episode was complete fucking horse shit and then to recover itself they burn a character

who has existed in the zeitgeist for what, 90 fucking 6 or something? When did the show start? 25 years we'll say. Two and a half decades. They throw Mr. Big on the funeral pyre so that you will

feel something after this horse shit episode. Everything is so terrible then they're like you know what would recover this for emotionality we'll fucking kill john big and they lift his his cause of death is lifted i think from like a rejected storyline this was leaked as the storyline for the movie the third film that was written and never made for good fucking reason. What we just watched shouldn't exist in the world. It shouldn't be out there. Okay.

I mean, there's so much to get through here. I would almost bracket this show inside of the, like, Ted Lasso oeuvre of, like, let's just give some people what they want you're out of your fucking mind but i'm sorry to interject i don't know i i feel like i mean i agree to him this show in in some ways this show is made exactly for us and in many ways this show was not made for us at all bro i a few times in the first 25 minutes of this, an extremely long episode, 44 minutes, I felt like Mattress Pikelet King knows what we've been up to,

is keenly aware of the podcast, has listened to it, and has directed a few shots at Timbo and Guy Guy. Yeah. You might have heard in the opening Miranda saying, Carrie, I love you to death, but I draw the line at podcasts. There's a lot of podcast shit in there, folks. He's hanging shit on podcasts. He's also, I feel like he's edging towards hanging shit on woke culture.

Oh, he is. Which is, I think, brilliant. It's not necessary, but i love him for it i just think tim like it's you you say that the whole thing's dog shit and admittedly parts of it are and like you know the characters are still uh entitled and quite tough to spend time with but i mean as i've already said number one they're doing different doing different things. And, like, this is how you set it. This is, you know, it's familiar intellectual property. And, yes, we know the characters.

But they have to set up a season. And we've got Miranda going to law school to study her master's in, like, human rights or something. We've got Charlotte, again, has not really been given a lot to do. Charlotte appears to still be, generally speaking, a nightmare, an overbearing nightmare. Carrie, alone in the world. Samantha, cast aside with about three sentences at the start of the show. Let's fucking dig into this.

Not three sentences. I wish it was three sentences. Three sentences would have been a lot more respectful than the, I estimate, 180 seconds they dedicated to denigrating Kim Cattrall. Now, this is the height of bad manners, Guy Montgomery. We have got an individual that has been along for the fucking ride, and we know that her and SJP don't get along.

We know that SJP got executive producer rights very early on and has been a fucking diva to work with throughout the series. They had a falling out. Kim Cattrall eventually said, you know what? Enough is enough. I'm worth more than this. I don't need to be part of this. I don't need to spend my life around SJP anymore. And she didn't do it like super disrespectfully.

In fact, there was a TTRT, I believe, online, which we knew about at the time. I've just got a bad memory. And I believe that Kim Cattrall's brother passed away. I haven't re-looked this up recently, so I'm going by the feel here. And SJP sent out a public tweet about it or something. And Kim Cattrall was like, lady, this ain't it. And SJP sent out a public tweet about it or something.

And Kim Cattrall was like, lady, this ain't it. This is not our relationship. This ain't where it's at. And so, like, respect. She didn't call her a big flaming bitch or something while she was grieving the death of her sibling. But she, you know, acknowledged what was, I think, an open secret, that their working relationship was frayed, shall we say. Yeah, and just that. It was a relationship built around work. Yes.

There was no connection beyond that. And actually, I was talking to someone earlier today about the series, and they said, that's right, yeah, Kim Cattrall's in it because I heard she's tough to work with. And I had to say, no, no, no. I think you're fine. I mean, listen, we're not on set, but had to say, no, no, no. I think you will find. I mean, listen, we're not on set, but putting the pieces together. We've got our fucking flag to fly. This feels like an SJP problem.

And so the way that they address the absence of one of the core four and honestly probably fan favorite, like Samantha is the special source that makes this thing sing. Listen, BuzzFeed exists because of multiple versions of a quiz where you answered questions and it told you which Sex and the City character you were and everyone hoped to get Samantha. That is now responsible for one of the greatest journalistic outlets in America, okay? That was all based around this brilliant character excellently

portrayed for a very long time by kim cattrall so tell me this tim yes why is samantha jones no longer friends with carrie bradshaw and the girls okay so so plot explanation this is this is an opening because they're like we're gonna need to fucking nip this in the bud the fans are coming back absolutely gagging for Samantha and they're not going to get her because the woman portraying her has a fucking brain in her head and a bit of self-respect in her body. So they say, okay, Carrie goes on this big fucking convo with Miranda

about how Carrie dropped her as an agent because it didn't make sense for her to be a literary agent for her in this day and age. Sorry to interrupt, but this is pre-ambled by the introduction of the girls. They're waiting outside to have a meal at a restaurant and they run into a friend and the friend's like, where's Samantha? There's some rando friend who they call like Fritzel Von Klum. She's got a crazy name.

Can I sidebar this for a second so this show does this thing where it'll get a crazed what usually woman to throw at the gals and it'll be on screen to be like isn't this woman a fucking crazy character it's like man all these bitches off this fucking planet like i don't relate to anyone and and they're not even like of this moment at all like i don't even know boomers who are like this you know what i mean but anyway so they run to this woman she's like where's samantha like she's no longer with us she's no longer with us and the woman's like tension because we as viewers we don't know how to treat it this is also set in covet there's a lot of like sort of knowing nods and acknowledgements that COVID-19 exists.

Yeah. But it's over, as it is in all of America right now. Yes. Famously, they defeated the virus. That's right. And they say she's not with us. Sorry, shouldn't laugh at that. Yeah.

And then she says. I'm laughing at SJP. We're laughing at the. Act and not with. We're laughing at our own circumstance. Yes. But they say, oh yeah, she's not with we're laughing at our own circumstance yes um but

they say oh yeah she's not with us as in she moved to London and then later on so they tease it and then later on we get the exposition which is as you were saying

SJP talking to Miranda being like yeah so Carrie dropped Samantha as a literary agent because I sorry I missed some of the nuance but it was like

it just didn't make sense for her to be a literary agent not in this day and age right now yeah presently and I'll tell you why why because Carrie's value as an author I missed some of the nuance But it was like It just didn't make sense For her to be a literary agent Not in this day and age Right now Presently And I'll tell you why Why Because Carrie's value

As an author Has been on the way Since Sex and the City 2 When she published That absolute dog shit book She put no fucking effort into Got slated in the New Yorker And then took it

Incredibly personally And cheated on her Fucking husband Before blaming it On her three friends A move I hasten to add That Kim Cattrall's

character samantha tried to hide from her because she knew how fucking batshit her reaction would be she was a good agent yeah so anyway carrie fired open samantha's fucking mail abroad to read there we're back into fucking movie territory but But okay, go off, Ken So This is what this podcast should be called Go off, Ken On behalf of Matt Dispike Who is fucking He's gone off

He is emptying his gun Into cancelled culture And into podcasts The man should be banned from making media with this kind of budget Give him a blog Can someone just give this motherfucker a twitter account and like take all the cameras and crew away from him so okay fuck carrie fire samantha samantha and this is all relayed between remember carrie and miranda telling this story so carrie's like look i dropped her as an agent and she dropped me as a friend

her pride was hurt i tried to patch things up i've called her so many times she won't pick up she moved to europe to london london she moved to london um so there's all this shit about how carrie like tried her absolute hardest to patch things up and samantha's acted like a ride yeah and it's like i am screaming at the fucking screen because like it is mean to bully someone who's not in the room like i don't get often i i try you know jessica pocket in our car right now? Dude, well, that's fair, but that's different. I try, outside of the realm of podcasting, to persist on the side of my better angels by not negatively referencing people

when they're not around to defend themselves, right? It's uncouth. Yes. These motherfuckers have not only done that, they funded a fucking key grip, a DOP, a soundy to record a constructive conversation they have about paying this woman out that she cannot answer. The veil is so thin between fiction and reality. It is honestly like a 30-year-old piece of muslin that is worn to like just one fiber yeah they are so clearly like directly addressing and sort of it's that fucking cloth that jesus's face is on it's that

it's that old and that thin that threadbare it is yeah it's insane and also like even within the show it's very easy to take issue with the way that carrie's handling it which is like she took samantha's totally reasonable and personal decision to pursue a job in London, you know, to live her life on her terms, incredibly personally. Isn't this rich guy? Yeah. The fucking characters are mirroring what happened in real life.

They're accidentally showing us exactly how horse shit SJP is. It's like how is- With her character's portrayal of this. How is Samantha doing literally anything for herself about you, Carrie Bradshaw? Go fuck yourself, man. We're, um, so we're a quarter of an hour into the pod and six minutes

into the fucking episode. As you may have observed, Samantha is, uh, absent. And I honestly think we should... I'm gonna open my door. Oh yeah, it's hot in here, baby. The mobile studio is heating up because I am spitting facts in the oven. I'm going to pour some out for Samantha. Okay, good shit. R.I.P.

And fucking not R.I.P. Whatever the opposite of R.I.P. is, I guess it's P.I.R. That's what I'd throw at Kim Cattrall because you were fucking right, dude. You have been absolutely vindicated by this first episode. That's what I'd throw at Kim Cattrall because you were fucking right, dude. You have been absolutely vindicated by this first episode. They've got nowhere to go after this guy. They killed off Mr. Big in the first episode. It's crazy to me that they did that. I remember watching a cameo that Chris Noth recorded.

Not for me. Oh, the service cameo. Yeah. I was just, maybe I was just like i think do you know what i think maybe i was thinking about getting a chris noth cameo for you yes and it was i looked into too expensive but he was putting up an example and in it he addressed the question whether or not i'd be in the series and he sort of like flippantly laughed he like was like well we'll just have to see and. And I wonder then if he knew.

And it's interesting because before they introduced the fact that he was clearly going to die in this episode, I wrote in my phone, Mr. Big is trying to kill himself. Because... Okay, we'll go through how he dies, Guy, and then maybe explain your thought process. Well, I'll walk you through, because the two are actually aligned aligned i'll walk you through how i thought he was doing it basically it's established early on he uh loves his peloton he loves his exercise bike there's a spanish woman

who lives inside of his bike and him and carrie and big's mind that's how it works people this guy cannot read and yeah and uh big and car Carrie joke about how he's fucking her or whatever. But so the first time we see Big, Carrie gets home. He's got his thing for the Latin American woman, doesn't he? Well, he does. He's always has him for Madam Carry On. I will. That's right.

And so Carrie arrives home and Big's like, oh, you're home. Time for wine. And just pulls out a bottle of wine's like, oh, you're home. Time for wine. And just pulls out a bottle of wine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. These women are drinking a lot of wine. Putting back a huge amount of alcohol. So he does that. And then later on, he's like, he's always going on to his Peloton.

He's always on the Terps. And then at one point, Carrie walks out and she's about to go to a piano recital and big just sitting in the fucking lounge chuffing a cigar yeah she's like wow a cigar and the peloton and it's like yeah what the fuck are you gonna do about it and i'm like you want out yeah yeah like here's a man who is making a series of decisions that are only going to lead to one outcome which the show introduces and i honestly almost thought they only going to lead to one outcome, which the show introduces. And I honestly almost thought that they were going to let him live because I could see either in Chris Knoth's or Big's eyes as he was spending his last seconds on this mortal realm.

And this is like the sort of emotional manipulation that you were talking about, which frustrated you with this episode. But I could see his desire to live. And I could feel his desire to live. And I could feel his desire to live. And I could feel that even though he might have made these decisions and he thought that his marriage was exhausting or whatever, I could see he thought.

How do we know this? Because while Big was smoking his big cigar, behind him was a bunch of graphs on a computer monitor. So we can infer confidently from that fact, Your Honor, that he is still in the financial game. He is still a bigwig money player in New York City, a.k.a. the world's casino. If anything, the financial game has finally caught up to Big in that cryptocurrency is massive right now. That was his idea, bro.

It was in the book. Who do you think thought of the fucking idiotic idea of nfts mr big he wrote it in crayon on page 17 man he wrote down monkey picture he wrote money and underlined it three times why do you think these monkeys are smoking cigars because he was adding shit from his own life. It's a beautiful scene. They're from Mr. Big's brain. Straight to your crypto wallet.

Your cold wallet. Here's the thing, though. I did think he wanted to die. Something that was going to happen. And then as soon as he was on the exit. So basically, his death works in parallel with a piano recital by Lily, Charlotte and Runkle's daughter Hey guess what everyone A lot of times past

Lily is an adult now Well she's a young adult She's 18 or so And also she's fucking good at piano Yeah she is sensational And most importantly Brady is a teenager now And basically the only character trait

They seem to have given him in the series Is that he fucks like a maniac. Guess what, folks? I've got two words for you. Brady fucks. In this version of Sex and the City? And they killed big to get everyone on board. I'm fucking on board for this.

I'm on board for Brady being a king. A fucking storyline that we wrote, basically. Well, our introduction to Brady is not in seeing him, but hearing about him, which is Miranda complaining that she stood raw dog with a bare foot on a used- Dude, hold on, hold on, hold on. This is over brunch. Just, you need to have that in your head. One of the ladies' brunches.

Yeah, yeah. They've been waiting to get into this restaurant. It's a classy restaurant. And Miranda says, I stood on a used condom in Brady's room this morning. And everyone's like, yeah. They've been waiting to get into this restaurant. It's a classy restaurant. And Miranda says, I stood on a used condom in Brady's room this morning. And everyone's like, okay. And then she's like, but get this. I was in bare feet. And it is honestly admirably visceral.

I like dry-wretched, man. Like, that's fucking crazy shit. That's great writing, though. And that's part of what I loved about this. It's not great writing. Mattress Puglet King is out of his fucking element, and he is taking wild swings for the fences. It's great.

It's filthy. It's filthy, and it's establishing a tone. Do you, mate, okay, how long have you been doing stand-up comedy, Guy Montgomery? Ten years. Okay. You fucking, you go into an open mic gig you see a lot of things one time out of 15 something like connects and often what you're seeing is a lot of people just going big in any particular kind of direction to get a reaction from the audience

it's not particularly skillful or artful, but it's sort of where everyone starts because you realize that the art of live stand-up comedy, first, before you do anything else, is to get a reaction out of the audience. This feels like an open mic gig. This fucking chat of Miranda coming out the gate by stepping on her son's condom. Yeah.

His jizz is on her bare foot. I'm like, no. I was going to say some names of some New Zealand comedians. I don't think his jizz is on her bare foot. I just think like. She says it. She fucking said it over brunch. She said, my son's, what did she say?

Semen, I think. Semen was on my foot before 12 o'clock today. I mean, it might not be word for word, but she says it. Brady, have as much sex as you want. But if you're going to leave condoms all over the floor, you've got to tie those suckers off. Brother, listen to me. No issue with what Brady's doing.

The king of his domain. Fuck, wear a condom. Good man. Chuck it on the floor. Your mom doesn't need to be invading your territory like that, brother. It's difficult, man. He's done everything right. And Miranda has done everything wrong.

You know what? I agree. Miranda is breaking a boundary. But just tie the end of your condoms off, Brady. You're not wrong. This guy is fucking a lot. So we don't meet him. We hear that he's having sex. We that we hear tell yeah we we hear fucking adventures yeah word has reached us that brady is a fuck machine and miranda and steve have given like they opened the

door up a crack and he kicked it down they were like yeah your girlfriend can stay over and he's like oh great okay so basically we're gonna fuck the whole time and it's gonna be kind of annoying for you and so we have that established later on at the piano recital where it's a great opportunity to catch up with the old ragtag bunch you know stafford and anthony are there in their marriages and dire straits they're having a lot of fights willie garson who passed away so i have i've been trying, actively been trying to avoid spoilers and shit. And I didn't know Big was going to die. I did see on Twitter, someone said like,

there's a big death. So I knew someone was going to carcass. I see. I honestly, sidestepped the whole thing. Right. Good for you. But I do know that Willie Garson, who is Stanford,

is in the first three episodes. And then he tragically passed away. And episode four is quite jarring because Chris Nh shows up playing stanford spicy woke moment okay guys oh fuck oh there's so much to tell carrie's gotta got this is the bit that feels so targeted to us carries i mean i know i know that the podcasts have kind of like you know become a yeah yeah the default thing now so carrie bradshaw has now transitioned from author to comedian and what to put to sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry to podcast i beg your pardon she's on with two

comedians one of them is bobby lee and i'm never sad to see bobby lee i was there's a delight to pop up and shit i didn't know he was in it, so that's great And it's a Oh, what's the fucking Savage? Dan Savage Savage Lovecast, whatever it is They're just doing Savage Love, but a shit job of it And with three people

And Carrie Bradshaw is very brutish on it Which is Just dumb Like, she's been a sex columnist since her 20s. Yeah. She gets asked if she masturbates on air, loses it. And like honestly, you know, clams up like a, it's like you've been trading on sex your entire life. And now who, I understand that, you know, people are demure or whatever and that different people are willing to divulge different bits of information.

But I'm like, you're a 50-something-year-old sex columnist. You've been asked if you masturbate. Everyone knows you masturbate. Yeah. Because everyone masturbates, Kerry. Yeah. It's not like some dirty little secret. Santa, he's the worst of all of us.

That guy's fucking tugging himself off up and down chimneys. Why do you think snow is the preeminent element of christmas it doesn't matter what fucking hemisphere you're in it's a metaphor fuckos for calm and she gets asked whether or not she masturbates and she freaks out yeah like totally deflects becomes the the most evasive and like. And not like skillfully either. No. Because Carrie Bradshaw in the series has always like got a quippy one line

or something to throw out. She just fucking melts at this. And then rightly gets hit up by the, oh, God, I wish I could remember the string that she self-describes as, but like the. The podcast host. The podcast host is a, uh it's it's like michael patris mattress pikelet kings so sick of the of twitter that he's condensed all of the haters into a

singular character and that's the person who's hosting the podcast i'm trying to find their name okay i don't know if that'll help i was more like because i'm fairly i'm fairly certain that actor is a comedian as well but i can't yeah they will they did it they did a fine portrayal of the character but it's the writing brother it's the right oh yeah yeah rattles off as um you know all the social identifiers boomers now um it's like trying to like invoke uh what the fuck do they call it? Cultural communism on us all. Sarah Ramirez.

Yeah, who's portraying a non-binary Latinx podcaster with a crew cut. All of your worst nightmares if you're a 60-year-old screenwriter who can't make his peace with the world. Yeah, one of the last things you want to do is create a character you can't write for it yeah that would be a pretty fucking challenging situation but they're in the podcast studio and every time the host says anything which is remotely sort of um modern i guess there's a button there's a total non-sequitur They press this button and then just say random shit

But what does the button do, guy? The button says Woke moment Like it's a top 40 radio station And I think it's to preempt That something woke is about to be said I specifically looked if I could Because I did rewind it three times

I found that moment so goddamn hilarious and unbelievable that i was like there's no way that that is a physical button on the desk of the podcast host they don't have other buttons that's the only sound pad there it's just one thing that they can press that projects a top 40 radio voicing woke moment. The podcast, by the way, is called XY and Me, and it's introduced as talking about gender roles, sexual roles, and cinnamon rolls. All my favorite roles. It is very funny.

I wanted to see if I could isolate the audio of that button, but someone talks over it. There's so much to get through. And for the aspirational runtime of this podcast, which is something that's finishing very shortly. Well, yeah, bloody,

hey, add a couple minutes to the clock. It's a lot to get through. Basically, Carrie is told afterwards, they ride in an elevator, the host and Carrie ride in the elevator and the host smokes weed out of a pipe. And the,

and the lift. Like vaping doesn't exist. And, you know, post-COVID New York City. No one's doing that. Come on. Mattress Pikelet King, I know you're getting some shit out, but no one actually does that. No. Come on, brother.

They've got pens for that now. Fucking hell. And is basically told like, hey, when I asked you if you masturbated and you clammed up, that's not good content. So you need to open up about it. Yeah. And Carrie totally misinterprets that, goes home,

tries to write about masturbation, can't. She sits down at the trusty old MacBook, which I bet isn't an M1 because they're all old and we're constantly reminded that they're out of touch with the world. Yeah.

And she writes, masturbation in the afternoon is like a matinee, question mark single use or subscriber and then obviously realizes that's a train to nowhere so it goes into the bedroom and says to big hey big jerk it for me yes right now you think guy's kidding he shits the nay this is the fucking scene carrie saunters in there and says hey mr big i'm gonna need you to masturbate in front of me, you fucking dancing sexual monkey.

And then we have to watch Chris Noss start masturbating, which is fucking awesome. Yeah. But basically, I want through all of this, this to me is a sidebar to what I was trying to say about Brady, which is minor. But basically, it's established that Brady fucks. The next time we actually see him is outside the piano recital. The first time he gets a line. No, no, no. It's inside the piano.

Oh, sorry. Before we hang. I beg your pardon. The first time he gets a line, he's inside the piano recital. Someone's playing the piano. It's a pretty intimate gig. There's like 100 people there. And he's just sitting there sucking face with his girlfriend so hard.

We've been 17. Miranda's like, you go to Steve, who's also there and looks fantastic, by the way. Steve looks so fucking cool now. He has aged real well

and he's got a hearing. He can't hear now. Yeah, the whole gag with Steve is he can't hear, but he can still spell. Holy fuck, is that where spelling B came from?

Steve? Yeah. I should have a Steve Brown. Fuck you you should yeah it's just all boston okay sidebar within the sidebar guy's been running a really great thing that's had multiple lives on stage and on live streams which is guy conducting a comedic format for a spelling bee and i think the fucking genesis was the same we put that together before i i had neither but basically they're sitting in front of them miranda's like you've got to tell i'm sick of being the bad guy and steve's like what which is a great play and then neither of them even turn to

say anything and brady just takes one moment from hooking up with his girlfriend to lean forward and says mom we will not be sex shamed fucking king king shit. And then goes back to his business. Absolute rat king shit, my man. His whole through line in this season better be the man fucks. Dude, I am not here for anyone but Brady. Brady will see me through this fucking season, and I hope that he appears at least once in every episode. And I don't want a lot of him. I certainly don't need a lot of him. I certainly don't need a lot of him.

I just want him to come in, fuck, call everyone out on their bullshit, and bail. Okay. I've got an idea for a segment, which I think will serve us well across the season. Cool. And it's called, like, well, I don't know what it's called, but it's your favorite. Name it. It's your segment. You can call it anything you want.

Well, it's called favorite character, least favorite character. Okay, sick ass. So I can hear from this. I can ensure that Brady, as of this episode, is your favorite character. No, actually incorrect. Samantha is out of fucking respect. Okay, fantastic. Who is your least favorite character?

I mean, it seems kind of obvious, but I'm going to say, oh, I don't want to use it this early, though. No, it could be the same person across multiple episodes. It's just to represent the shifting tides and allegiances we'll feel. Anthony. Anthony. Yeah. You don't like him?

Nah. Why not? Well, he fucking, look, him and Stanford had a falling out. Admittedly, it sounds like Stanford was taking an awfully long time to get dressed for the musical recital. Well, you know how people are. Some people are ready sooner and some people take a little bit longer to be ready, Tim. But Anthony's acting like a bit of a fucking prick.

He's scrolling Instagram through hot guys on his phone. Yeah, through his startup, Hot Fellas Bread. They need to get some hot fellas to deliver this bread, Tim. It's a sourdough business. Well, I won't be further drawn. My answer is Anthony. Okay. So Anthony's your least favorite, and your favorite was Samantha?

Samantha. Fantastic. I would like to say my least favorite, Charlotte. I know I sound like a fucking broken record, but she is so overbearing. All of these characters have moments where I do feel like they're having to reckon with some of their worst tendencies or traits. And she is trying to impose her idea of how a family looks and how they present themselves in public on her daughters before the piano recital. She buys these Oscar de la Renta dresses.

Yeah, the whole family has to dress in the same dress which is um fucked up yeah it's floral and run cool who's still on the scene and looks like he's done a couple of bags of cocaine but otherwise he's on a skateboard now guys it's fun bald people don't age uh it's the it's the patrick stewart yeah kiss but god uh she's basically trying to force a dress on Rose. And it just doesn't read well to me. And she's just still so pretty. A kiss is always a gift. Fucking A, man.

And my favorite character actually is Rose. Yeah, good man. She's a young woman learning to stand up for herself, learning to stand up for herself in her relationship to her mother. She's an incredibly supportive sister. She goes to the piano recital Lily plays the fucking ever-loving shit Off of the keys

Like honestly Standing ovation worthy The only person in the crowd who's not wearing a floral dress But instead a tuxedo t-shirt and a novelty beanie Is Rose Who stands up and is like Fuck yeah, that's my sister When we were watching footage of her in the recital

I thought, is there going to be a jealousy through line? Are we going to have two sisters who aren't getting along because one of them has clearly got a talent that's being spotlighted by the parents? But no, it's all support. It's all love. And I take my hat off to you. I absolutely love that shit, Rosie.

My favorite character in the series right now. Good on you, guy. I'm right in behind you because she does seem like the one sane person in this crazy fucking world that Mattress Parklet has put us back in. Just when we thought this motherfucker had run out of ways to kneecap us mentally, he fucking throws this season at us? Yeah.

You shit me with this stuff, man? I mean, there's so much other stuff to skim through. The only other major plot point that we've missed, man and i mean there's so much this is madness other stuff to skim through like all the only other major plot point that we've missed yeah we should wrap up here for duration's sake folks leave more and more unlike fucking mattress sparkler king the only other thing we haven't really got into that significant um is an insane scene of miranda first walking into her first lecture and she is the mature student by a number of years, dare I say

decades, against these fellow academics. She's got her first day at her university class and she spends Forget this everyone, the professor is black Oh my god And Miranda

This fucking woman's lived in New York City her whole 60 years on the planet better yet Tim, Miranda knew that but was still somehow surprised so she goes and sits in the wrong seat and someone who they

have a 10 seconds of fun with because they're genderqueer. So like, yeah, big ups again, actress pike, like you strike again, you fucking asshole. Someone who goes by they, them

says that's where the professor sits and Miranda moves and then... Miranda says he told me and then they say, I don't know what their pronouns are. It's a thinly written character. They say, whoa! They say, wait, quick with the pronouns,

but like in a positive way, like she nailed it but then miranda proceeds to just repeatedly put both feet in her mouth while she explains why she's she's fucking force feeding her entire leg down her esophagus an african-american woman with with dreads as the law professor in goddamn new york city where she's always lived. And the entire misunderstanding stems from Miranda having observed a photo of her on the university website. Look. Guess what? The thing sucks.

Sometimes people look different from their photos. The speech sucks. The episode sucks. No, no, no. It's all bullshit. Brady's a king. We saw it coming. We've got a lot to deal with.

Bro, I'm proud of us For this reason There was no Signalling that Brady Was going to be this cool We saw the writing On the wall Or

Mattress Packer King Has listened to our podcast One or two It's not outside the realm Of possibility I'm really excited And honestly The emotional heft

Of Big Dying It got me Like when we started Recording I was still coming down from that experience. We're going to be releasing these as soon as we can after they're released in New Zealand. Oh, we're getting these pretty live, bro. Yeah. So this is a watch-along series. Sorry, did someone order the pitbull?

Because we are Mr. and Mr. Worldwide. That's right, yeah. We're getting these hot off the satellite, folks. So we are literally, because two episodes dropped to markets launch here in New Zealand, we are literally about to either remain where we are in beautiful Westmere. It's fucking nice here, man. It's a good setting. And watch ourselves some more Sex and the City.

No. And just like that.