The Worst Idea Of All Time - DirCom: On Her Majesty's Secret Service

Episode Date: November 16, 2021

Legendary Bond producer Albert 'Cubby' Broccoli is joined by the ghost of director Peter R. Hunt to present a Director's Commentary to 1969's On Her Majesty's Secret Service.GUY'S SPECIAL ON BANDCAMPDEATHBLART: (tilldeathdousblart.com)JOIN US ON FACEBOOK: (facebook.com/WorstIdeaOfAllTime)VISIT THE LITTLE EMPIRE PODCAST NETWORK: (littleempirepodcasts.com)MUSIC CREDIT: Tender Moonlight (facebook.com/TenderMoonlight)ART CREDIT: Tomas Cottle (sick-days.com) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Please start your copy of On Her Majesty's Secret Service in 3, 2, 1, now. Hello and welcome to the Director's Commentary of On Her Majesty's Secret Service, a James Bond film released in 1969, directed by myself, the ghost of Peter R. Hunt. I was alive at the time. That is correct. And I'm joined in the voicing booth. By well-known Bond producer Albert R. Broccoli, or Cubby, of course, as I'm known to my friends. Great to have you here, Cubby.

Well, it's great to be haunted by your ghostly spectre. I've really been enjoying this, what I call third stage of my creative career. It was the stuff I did in Britain, the stuff I did in America, and now the things I've got on in the afterlife. And what have those been? A lot of director's commentaries. I see.

Yeah, like to get back in the booth and back on the tools in front of a microphone. So this is the George Lazenby Bond. Yes, the only one. As we call it, yeah. I don't know what the deal with that is. I think hopefully George is going to stop by the studio later on

to give his two cents. That'd be a real treat. I haven't seen him since I visited him two weeks ago. How was he doing? Pretty, pretty good. Still confusingly writing the coattails of this film that came out or 60 odd years ago i think can't blame him i mean it's a it's a great film and in my eyes he was a fantastic bond a man more or less built for the role wow cubby high praise coming from a man responsible for spearheading the whole bond operation from its inception and dr no the iconic john barry theme song it gets the hairs on the back of your head

stood up when you see it in a big theater of course we're not doing that today we're watching this on a cell phone yeah we are we're watching it on a cell phone on a deck yes out the back of someone's house yes because even ghosts must respect COVID compliance. That's right. Now this film has been much derided by the fan base and by

cinema viewers at large, I feel, but I actually watched the film recently to get ready for this director's commentary. You know what? Fuck you guys. I made a the film recently to get ready for this director's commentary. You know what? Fuck you guys. I made a great film. Well, as a general rule, I don't watch the James Bond films.

They're not really for me. Right. So I've not seen this since working on it. I never actually saw the completed film, but I do remember it was, I thought, unfairly derided. You know, I think change can be difficult, especially for super fans, and we've seen that as time has marched forward. You know, fans turning on intellectual properties

because they're no longer being realised exactly as they imagined. And I feel like this film, and George in particular, suffered at the hands of that sort of toxic fandom. Poor George Lazenby. One of the early victims of that sort of toxic fandom. Poor George Lazenby. One of the early victims of that sort of phenomenon. Now, here we have our so-called Bond girl for the film. The actress's name escapes me, but I just called her Tracy on set because...

That really pissed her off as well. Well, I was trying to enforce a method style of acting onto the cast and they weren't really for it i was trying to make sure no one would get out of role at any point i think you would call george george and that would bother him because he wanted to be called james so i think it was the sort of chopping and changing. Well, this was so important to me on my one outing as director, finally, of a James Bond all my own that I put my mark on it. And one of those things involved this layered approach of George Lazenby as a character playing a secret agent

within the world of the film, you see. So the decision to name that character the same as the person playing the character was, I think, what caused a lot of confusion because often you'd instruct George and George the person would respond, but you'd be talking to George the character. I would say, now I need to talk to George now

in the fashion of sort of a medium or ghost whisperer. And he was very confused because obviously his name is George, you see. But I was trying to reach the character of George playing James Bond within the world of the film. A lot of people don't realise that, and I think it contributes a lot to why people didn't really love this movie. It's interesting you say that because while, admittedly,

people didn't necessarily love – there you go. That iconic line, Bond, James Bond. I had to give him that one. It was part of contract negotiations. You tried to hold out the most iconic line in all the Bond films? I didn't want it in my one. I wanted it to be different. That's right.

I remember on the first down set you said he's going to say the name's James Bond James. Yes. But everyone agreed that there was no rhythm to that and it didn't really make a lot of sense. It doesn't really matter to me what the crew had to say on the day. It's not a democracy after all. I'm not really crew

I'm the producer. I'm sort of responsible for the entirety of the franchise. That's true. Everyone else could go to hell though. Now this action sequence is pretty fantastic. James Bond in immediate peril in minute seven of the film against sort of an unknown foe. He's lured in using a honey trap.

Dame Diana Rigg portraying Tracy or Contessa, depending on the scene. That's right. And we had a lot of kids on set that day and we sent them out swimming, and we had to shoot around them. It was very frustrating. Yes.

I don't know why we decided to have Bring Your Child to Work Day on this particular day of production. The first day of production. The first day of production. We said, bring your kid. It'll ingratiate us as a crew. It'll make us a family. They were so noisy and needy, I think, was what bothered me.

And so we sent them all out into the ocean, and most of them came back. Most of them did. Some people say little Jeremy's still out there swimming to this very day. And if he is, you can only imagine how strong he is. And also how much older he is now. This movie, of course course was about 50 years ago making jeremy i guess 53 yeah is it 50 years yeah yeah that's about right isn't it it is yeah oh yeah jeremy don't you worry about jeremy he's a strong grizz seafaring man, and not on a ship like how the cheetahs do it,

but at his own hand. That's right. Now, that sort of established a shooting style and a tone for the action sequences, Peter, and it's one that I think, again, probably caught some derision upon release, but that was another line that told me this never happened to the other fellow i wanted

there to be a sort of fourth wall self-referential moment in the film that people could get very mad about if they wanted to yes that line does puncture the world of the film but also it's funny and it turned into a very fruitful um merchandise line for the great george lazender i wasn't aware of that because he popped that on some caps as has he? Caps, T-shirts. T-towels? Bear coolers, T-towels. Good on him. And then you've got your iconic sort of gorgeous woman in silhouette.

Yeah, now this is one thing that you and I went back and forth on because I didn't want to have the credit sequences the other ones have with these sort of tessellations and geometry over a bond theme while we had gorgeous silhouetted women i had a whole other direction for the kind of music video portion of the intro credits why don't you tell everyone what that was well what i wanted to have my creative vision was um all the kids that we brought in on set that wasn't for nothing i wanted to have them laughing playing forming human pyramids making sandcastles and use that footage to remind people of all the things that james bond missed out on as a child being an orphan yes you did really want to hammer the orphan element the orphan element to me was the key to this this film's

emotional heart uh there and picking an australian model to portray the lead character those were the two things that i thought would bring the audience right in but unfortunately i lost this battle with you didn't i cubby and we have um the sequence that we see here a more traditional bond sequence and i i think it's sort of you know i'm not i'm not against changing certain things and um and we did it as you as you'll soon see as we watch the film but i just think some things in the bond world are untouchable and that line the name's bond james bond um these sort of music videos you call them opening sequences also just seeing some uh sexy people and villains from years gone by and silhouettes.

There's also, from memory cubby, something that, I think you've been doing this since Dr. No with the James Bond movies because you thought that all movies were going to start like this. You thought Bond was the ship that would launch intro sequences

that were kind of these music video montages. But no one else has taken it up. You say that, but to my credit, this sort of ferried change in cinema where it used to be you'd go to the moving pictures and there'd be these very long, drawn-out, sort of what are now considered closing credit sequences to open the movie. So everyone knows exactly who's responsible for what they're about to watch. And we wanted to zhuzh that up a bit because we found that audiences were...

No one was seeing your name. Yeah. No one was seeing Albert Broccoli because they were leaving the cinema when the credits were rolling. Well, no one was seeing the movies. They were walking out. They thought they'd seen the whole movie already. At the end credits?

When they watched the opening credits, believing they were the end credits. they watched the opening credits believing they were the end credits oh i see they were walking to a movie see credits and say i must have got the time wrong yes and then they leave and it was i mean we got the money all the same but it was hugely frustrating very difficult to get word of mouth when no one's actually seeing the film yeah so we zhuzhed up the opening credits we put in all that music and the silhouettes and stuff. And then a lot of other movies, they didn't follow the path that we charted. They instead just sort of whacked the credits at the end. It's also quite common to have the news on back when, maybe a little bit before this movie came out,

but around that sort of era. I remember distinctly we had to fight the cinemas to make sure the news didn't come on uh before on her majesty's secret service would air it's a it punctures the world of the movie and i'd say go fuck yourself it's the news and we'd say go fuck yourself the name's bond james bond we're selling a lot of popcorn for you people all right a lot of coca-colas a lot of pepsis a lot of uh a lot of morrows and you might not have a lot of Coca-Colas, a lot of Pepsis, a lot of Moros. You might not have Moros. A lot of Snickers bars. Now, it was important to you, as I recall here, that this opening sequence with the cards and the sort of debonair,

you know, set and setting and the characters. Yes, James Bond is in an upmarket casino hotel. Right. is in a upmarket casino hotel. Right. And because I insisted on putting my mark on this film after they finally gave me the reins to direct, I thought, why don't I make up my own card game for them to play at the casino?

And it is, to this day, incredibly confusing. It resembles Blackjack in part, but then you insisted on having James Bond deal a lot of the hands. Yes. And others at the table have a little go at it. All the players were allowed to handle the cards and throw them around. Yes. And you insisted that there was no internal logic to the rules of the card game.

Well, the internal logic of the game must be played with confidence and the word bank must be said a minimum of 15 times during a hand. What do you call the game? Banco. Yeah. And so people just have to take turns handling cards, saying banco to other people at the table, throwing money in a pile to create a sort of spectacle for passers-by who see this pile of a hundred thousand francs

francs well and a lot of people saying banco banco banco the issue of course was that none of the actors understood the rules of the game and so they would sort of be improvising a winner of each hand because a lot of this is in consequence to the plot and then you would step around from behind the camera and say no no you wouldn't have won this hand you you actually that's not how banco banco banco works which is the name of the cast and crew would say well how does it work you tell us how it works i'd say banco banco banco is a simple premise a lot of money a lot of people saying banco and beautiful women are able to join the table from being a spectator, bet money they don't have, get themselves into trouble and that is how we tied it

into the plot. Diana Rigg making a second appearance after the beach takes a punt on Bunko, Bunko, Bunko loses the hand because she wasn't confident enough to claim the money doesn't have the goods to pay up and so

James Bond bails her out. And thus begins a romance for the ages. Yes, that's right. We now have our leading lady and leading man on the screen. And as you can see, the sexual chemistry is absolutely crackling. I remember during shooting, I had to carry with me at all times hip holstered on my right

was a loud hailer so that I could yell at the cast and crew to do things for me we were shooting in pretty close quarters on the left was a spray bottle of water so I could keep George Lazenby off of Diana Rigg. It was important that we keep the chemistry on the camera.

And I thought that if they were able to sort of dissipate that in between shooting, we would lose some of the electricity. So I was constantly squirting them like a cat to get off the sofa. George Lazenby is, and I'm sure he'll attest to this when he stops by, he is an incredibly sexual person. Yes. He oozes a sexuality and a confidence. An eroticism, if you will.

Oh, no, this was a fun scene to shoot. We thought it was important that James Bond got in a physical altercation like he normally does, but this time because I insisted on putting my personal mark on this film after they finally gave me the reins to direct, I thought it would be fine if James Bond kind of got his ass kicked a little bit. Yeah, get him roughed up a little bit. So he did for a while, but then I lost my fight to you, Cubby.

Yeah. And ultimately... Well, it's just not a James Bond film if he gets killed off in the first 15 minutes. Yeah, he didn't need to get killed necessarily in the scene. But what I wanted was early doors, first 15 minutes. What have we got? Bond in trouble. Bond girl enters.

We're in a beautiful casino. James Bond is confined to a wheelchair for the rest of the film after a fight. And it's not to say that... And orphans. Very important. Yeah, yeah, you really hammered the orphan angle. It's not that the movie wouldn't have worked, it's just it felt like we were already taking so many swings. New Bond, new director.

Again, you really don't want to antagonise the fan base too much. And remember, a lot of the fan base haven't even seen a Bond movie at this point they've walked in seen the credits and walked out and so for a lot of the diehard bond fans this is their introduction to james bond it's the first time they actually wound up sitting through a movie and i just think you know to your credit you're a fountain of ideas but not all of them are going to make it onto the screen. I still think there was scope for four-fifths of the movie to see James Bond significantly disabled. Would have been pretty fun to watch, but, you know, agree to disagree. Once more.

James Bond de-holstering now in his room. And this was an important scene because um i wanted to make sure that people knew contessa could uh sort of evaporate and move into other spaces at will sort of apparition yeah so this is one of the battles that you won yes uh you said it's very important that contessa has the qualities of a ethereal being and you know it's sort important that Contessa has the qualities of a... Ethereal being. And, you know, it's sort of one of those situations where you've really got to pick your battles because if I said no to everything you brought...

What did you say no to? You'd said no to the orphanage angle, to leaning on that. You'd said no to James Bond in a wheelchair. Okay, first of all, you tell me what I said no to and then I'll tell you what I said yes to as a concession. Well, I'll give you the two top line ones. I said no to the music video with all the kids at the start. Yeah, I said no to, and then I'll tell you what I said yes to as a concession. Well, I'll give you the two top line ones. No to the music video with all the kids at the start. I said no to the orphanage angle.

I said yes to bring your kid to work day. That's true. But it did seem kind of fruitless, because then we couldn't shoot them for the sequence that I had in mind. And we lost a lot of good kids. Not Jeremy, though. Not tough, strong Jeremy. No, we do like the thing. He's still out there swimming.

There's been sightings. There's been sightings of Jeremy. Did you see Jason Momoa's Aquaman? Yeah, he's in the background of about 15 shots. Fantastic. He wasn't even hired for the film. It's just they were shooting near the water, and Jeremy gets around. Yeah, you shoot in a guy's house.

Fucking powerful arms. Yeah. Crazy arms. And legs. Tiny little torso. It's bizarre. Just big big limbs the guy's all limbs yeah anyhow yeah so hopefully you don't see it on the screen but there was a lot of push and pull behind the scenes on this film and um i really think that it's a triumph as i said it's my first time seeing it uh that we have created such a cohesive product and also with all of this sort of the the touches of glamour and you know um

you can't deny i made a beautiful film the high life that we associate with the the james bond character this is a i mean it's a it's a gorgeous movie and and he's never fucked a ghost before crucially in the series up to this point. That's right, yeah. He still hasn't had sex with a ghost, and that is something that ironically haunts him. Because as we know, he's a ladies' man. He's laid people all over the world. Chinese woman, Thai woman, European woman, French woman, British woman, Americans,

all kinds of women except women who are currently existing in the afterlife. Yeah, in the plane of existence between life and the afterlife. That's right. And she, in turn, has unfinished business, which is to have sex with a secret agent. So it's kind of a match made in heaven. Yeah. That's what makes this movie ultimately so tragic.

We've established a sort of cat cat and mouse rapport between james and his leading lady now that's right cats famously try to have sex with mice and then mice in turn try to murder cats famously and so now we need to establish more who our villain will be what the sort of uh secret service mission that is going to be the thrust of this movie in tandem with the romantic angle and this is sort of the introduction of that. James thinks he's about to go out for a round of golf but as we'll soon see

life's what happens when you're busy making plans. Thought hard to get that order in of orange juice. Yeah. The ultimate thing to have after a vigorous night of lovemaking. You just want OJ, don't you? Orange juice diet. Every other day of filming, you'd only have orange juice.

It's because I was having sex every second day. Vigorous sex. With? We don't need to get into it. But let's just say George Lazenby and and i had a falling out let us leave it there yeah so which i thought it was important to introduce the concept of orgies into the bond universe which is what that line about foursomes came from and um this this this scene uh which i'm not credited as a screenwriter which is to honest, a crime because I did write most of this film that ultimately made it into the cinema.

We want to see James Bond cool as a cucumber while he's getting kidnapped at gunpoint to make sure that everyone knows this guy doesn't just fuck. He doesn't die. He also doesn't die. Or get scared too easy. No. He's a fearless opposite of a virgin. That scene always bothered me. I found it very stressful that you filmed them putting the roof on the convertible up while they were driving.

Why is that? I always think you should pull over your convertible you wouldn't want to associate with a Bond villain, of having to sort of pull over, then put the top up, and then keep going. It sort of breaks the illusion. The swagger, if you will. I've been learning a bit of lingo. I've been haunting some kids recently. I see. Spending some time on Urban Dictionary.

Now, that is one of the kids in prosthetics yeah this was a creative decision that i really i never heard the end of this once i put it in once the movie came out everyone was quizzing me constantly why was there a cleaner just before one of the fight scenes that was no doubt about it a little person who looked to be about 55 sweeping the floor. And I said that wasn't a little person that was a child. In prosthetics, to get around union laws,

I mean, the whole thing seemed unnecessary. But now as I see it back in the movie, I've got to say, I'd like to apologize because it sets a tone. It was of a part of the orphan angle. So when we removed the music video of kids at the beach at the start, sure, it doesn't make sense now.

It brings me no joy that that particular child actor was, you know, confused for an old man, even though we did put prosthetics on him. But it's his cross to bear i guess now we're meeting um draco draco of draco construction tracy's dad who i thought it would be cool this character didn't actually exist in the scripted version of the movie that we received to make um because there was yeah it was sort of a big hole i felt in the story a big Draco sized hole I thought wouldn't it be cool if we had a guy who owns an

international construction conglomerate which deals in legal and illegal business who loves discussing his daughter's sexual escapades a nurturing father, a forward thinking father, a liberal sexual escapades. You did think that. A nurturing father.

Yeah. A forward-thinking father. A liberal man of the world. And, you know, obviously we're watching this movie in a different era, but of its time, this is an incredibly liberal man. I don't think a lot of dads are trying to get their daughters laid now.

No. That's how forward-thinking I was by introducing this character. Not with the same level of intensity that Draco. He really wants Tracy to... He wants Tracy to get her end off. Yeah, in a big way.

It's crucial. And there's only one way to do that. Get James Bond involved. That's right. Tracy, of course, has struggled with the men because every time she gets close to climax, she loses control of her transformation into a sort of gaseous form. And so Draco hires James Bond to give his daughter a bone-shattering orgasm.

And in turn, James rightfully asks, well, what can you do for me? What's in it for me? A million pounds. A million British pounds in 1969. That's a lot of money. What would that be now? Two million?

Three million pounds? Sure. Yeah. Three million pounds? Sure. Yeah. Again, you can just see the expanse of the movie dripping off of every frame. And you worked very closely with the DP on this.

Every shot features something gold in it. Incredibly annoying to execute on set, but again, it's just one of those little sort of Easter eggs, one of those little pieces of trivia you can roll around with and, you know, hang your hat on. Full credit to the sound engineers in post-production as well because they were able to remove the wind chimes, which I insist on being in every room that I'm a part of. They thought it wouldn't be a worthy addition to the film.

Agree to disagree, once again. Breezes are a part of life. That's what you said then. Yeah. That's what we say today. Yeah. I believe this is the longest conversation that's in the film.

Of course, I made a creative decision, which I 100% stand by, to have the third act of this film essentially contain next to no dialogue whatsoever. Yeah, you want it to be top heavy. I don't want to sort of put the cart before the horse here. How good does

George Lazenby look by the way? I mean this is a man who is at the peak of his species, at the peak of his powers. This is a apex human being. That's right and for this role, a lot of people were critical of george's accent but um remembering he's an australian playing a british secret agent and within the role so remember this is george lazenby playing george lazenby playing james

bond who in turn has to play another character later on who has an entirely different british accent so it's an australian man doing an Australian accent, doing a British accent, who then has to do another British accent. It's an incredibly layered performance. And it'd be fair to wonder whether or not he probably might have had a little bit more confidence on set if we hadn't packed so much into the role, if he'd just got to be your traditional 007.

Well, I think he actually pulled it off quite ably. I think he would rival Robert Downey Jr. for being able to, and Tropic Thunder, of course, for convincingly playing this layered character, playing a character, playing a character role. Not a lot of movies have attempted that because not a lot trust their leading men or stars to take on that kind of complexity.

But I thought, you know what? If anyone can do it, it's an Australian supermodel. There was a real tumult to your relationship with George. And at its dizzying highs, it was the closest working and personal relationship I've seen. Sorry, I just need to point out, if you remember, Cubby, because you were on set every day, that shot of James Bond throwing his hat onto the hat rack,

that took two weeks of shooting for George to pull off. We spent so much crew time, so much money on celluloid just to wait for one take where George Lazenby could throw a bowler hat one and a half meters across a room to land on a hat rack it was the hardest sequence to shoot in the movie

yeah it was a tough fortnight I actually went on holiday to Belize in the middle of that Belize it or not he wasn't there for all of it Belize it or not broccoli's not at home but i'm glad you got it because again it's just one of those touches and this is why it's fun to do these directives commentaries i mean it's probably why you're spending so much of your

time in the afterlife revisiting films you've seen films you're responsible for films you haven't seen or aren't responsible for just because it's it's so fun to remember these details and to share the information we have with others. It really is. It's fun to reminisce, isn't it? This is M, sense for master, who's in charge of James Bond's operations in MI6. And what's interesting about my additions to this film

and my directorial debut on the james bond franchise where i really wanted to put my mark on the thing is i did i made some subtle i made changes big and small so originally the operation to take down blofeld in the script as we received it was called operation chaos i changed it to operation bedlam because I thought it would be a nice reference to the age of the woman that James Bond takes to bed. Younger. That's right. Like a lamb as opposed to a sheep. Yes.

It's the stuff that not even I knew on set that, wow, that's what makes you a cut of up. It's how you got the gig. Now, Peter, I don't want to veer too far off course here, but... Say my name. It's Peter. What were some of the other films you wound up directing? I didn't have a huge number of directing credits, you might say.

I was quite a prolific second unit director on the James Bond series. was quite a prolific second unit director on the James Bond series. Really not here to talk about my other work, to be totally honest with you, Cubby. Fair enough. Here to talk about James Bond and an Australian model who brought him to life. Isn't it refreshing to see Moneypenny portrayed by a woman over the age of 35 on screen. Remember when women above the age of 35 could be objects of sexual desire in cinema? Because I do.

I made a movie with one. A true ally. One of the many ways in which we both consider this to be one of the foremost feminist texts of its time. All ghosts are allies. Is that true? Yeah, it's part of the foremost feminist texts of its time. All ghosts are our lies. Is that true? Yeah, it's part of the process, Cubby. When you die, you see the light, and the light is social conscience and empathy for all.

People think it's an actual light. Fucking idiots. So now James Bond, the world's leading secret agent, has been afforded two weeks holiday. Oh, yeah. This was a fun scene, wasn't it? That's right. James Bond throwing his dick around, wanting to pursue Blofeld,

M telling him to get off the case, him saying, guess what, baby? I quit. And then Moneypenny sort of intercepting that and letting the hot temperatures of these two men, M and James Bond, who are at each other's throats, she sort of has this calling plate to let temperatures fall a little bit and negotiates a situation where Bond is off the job for a fortnight. All the while lusting after James' sort of unrequited um you know desire for something

more than what he can offer her which is mostly a good night in bed and chlamydia i think they call it uh nowadays a real ross and rachel of a situation but predating that it used to be called a real james and money penny scenario that That's right. Well, they weren't there. Again, this is not dissimilar to your insistence on creating a card game for a scene. I thought it would be cool if James Bond went to a traditional bullfight. This one was all cubby. Tell us about this cubby. Well, my idea was your traditional matador, and you said, yes, but what if the bulls were smaller? And what if some of the matadors weren't matadors,

but just people who stood in the way of the bulls? And so we had a very expensive and destructive few days shooting in Spain. As you'll see here, this is, of course, all plot advancement, character development, James Bond re-meeting Teresa or Tracy or Contessa. Why did we decide to give this woman three names? Because she has three distinct personalities in the movie. Fantastic. So they all sit down to a meal.

The father, Draco, tries to sort of broker an arrangement between them. And she sees right through that as Contessa. She cuts to the chase, but all the while the real action of the film is happening out there in the bullring. You love that. You made her take that word, papa, so many times. Well, she couldn't say it right initially.

She kept saying papa every time the line would come up, and I said, you're in Spain Spain you don't say papa you say papa Diana Rigg listen to me papa papa put a little stank on that second once you got it you really drove it home so this is one of the most incredible scenes of the movie this is where we really took traditional bullfighting and sent in a different direction yes just a bunch of young adults getting lightly gored by a baby bull it's a twist on an old favorite that's right and you wouldn't be allowed to make it these days not with all the rules and regulations and the you know goddamn unions safety officers looking after animals.

That's right. Too much red tape, if you ask me, Cubby. Couldn't agree more. It's preventing a lot of good flicks from getting made. Shooting in Spain comes with its own unique challenges. Number one is the heat, of course. Number two is the language. They speak Spanish there.

Which we did not know coming in, unfortunately. Hugely inconvenient for us, an exclusively English-speaking crew. And both are mutual insistence. We thought it would be disrespectful to the spirit of a British secret agent to hire any foreigners. That's right. We are, of course, representing Her Majesty. What does Her Majesty speak?

The Queen's English. What will we speak on set? The very same, thank you. what does her majesty speak the queen's english what will we speak on set the very same thank you so here we see contessa cutting through the sort of red tape of a traditional business meeting where people dance around what they want and she says tell this motherfucker what he wants so i can get on with my life yes the relationship between uh james bond and Draco is two negotiating parties fighting over a essentially gambling chip, which is Tessa, Contessa, Tracy, if you will. You have to remember the year is 1969. You have to remember the context.

It wasn't that weird. context it wasn't that weird sure the idea of a father trying to get his uh semi-ghostly daughter laid it was cutting edge i would say but using her as a negotiating chip in a contract involving marriage with your daughter i mean that was just yeah a standard sort of negotiation of dowry, wasn't it? We just got so much footage of that bull ploughing that young man that we pretty much had to put as much of it in as we could. Yes. That's called recovering a cost because, unfortunately, that young man perished during filming.

Now. Now that James has sort of received what he wanted from the business lunch, which is information pertaining to Blomfeld, the case he's trying to track down even when he's on holiday. Or Blofeld, if you will. He turns his hand to pursuing a woman who, as we will see here, may very well turn out to be the love of his life, Louis Armstrong singing.

Right here in the studio. It's so nice to just have him piping up from the back there Louis how are you? very nice he's brought a full band he can't talk right now because he's singing he nodded though if you can hear this

but he's given us the go ahead now there's a lot of speculation as to I kept the scene silent for a very particular reason I wanted people to pay attention to what was happening which is a montage. How many days was this set over? Four. Fantastic. One day at the beach,

one day at the gardens, one day in the city, one day in the city, and then on the fourth day, they rest. Yes. Very crucial. Beautiful montage. It really establishes this scenario of two actors who want to have sex with each other but can't because of a director who insists on keeping

the chemistry on screen and will use any aquatic based weapon of their deployment to get that job done. What we have done with this montage, though, is established something that goes beyond what James and his love interest traditionally have. This is a real sense of connection that might be something deeper than just a passing fancy. Those bears, by the the way that you saw on screen moments ago uh they were more kids that we put in prosthetics yeah we've got sort of littered throughout the film it's a bit of a we as wally situation where you try and pick out the kids because here's the thing about kids if they're too young to legally be in the film you can kind of get them to do anything and you don't have to pay them very much money.

If they try and go to a union. Well, the union can't take them. They're too young. That's the beauty of it. That's the beauty of it. You've sort of got them by the bollocks because if they go to a union to complain, you say, well, you weren't allowed to be working on this movie in the first place. That's right.

You want to incriminate yourself, Elliot? Elliot, if your head's short and curly, we'd be having you by them right now. That's right. So now with the information that Bond has received from Draco, that Draco's lawyer has some sort of connection to, what's the villain's name did you say? Blofeld. The core Bond villain.

I guess I've never seen any of the movies. We have quite a fun sort of, again again i don't want to use the analogy but a cat mouse sequence where the lawyer leaves and now bond using some incredibly high spec tech and all of his wiles as a secret agent is going to break into his office this is some classic spy shit yes it's important to show on screen explicitly all the elements of what make james bond bond number one yes he's british but his british accent is a little bit patchy we know this he's a man of the world if you've ever been a sponge for accents if you've ever been to england you'll meet a lot of people with all sorts of different accents you can't all be from the same place and they say oh but i Number two, the man loves to have sex with women of all kinds.

Yes. Human, ghosts, a sort of in-between, ghost-human. This is a sort of Everest, you see. He hasn't successfully brought one to completion yet. Number three, he loves his gadgets. He does love his gadgets. And, you know, so far it looks like here's a man who simply entered an office without any gadgets. But as you'll soon see, we introduce, for the time, what is just such an incredible piece of technology.

I was really proud. We sat down together and we said, what would we like to see represented on screen and we said what if there was a structure big enough to move heavy objects on a construction site in the same sort of a shape as a crane on a beach or easterly so we created a device called a crane which was a huge mechanical semi-structure that could operate a big bucket to basically move things to and fro they are now often used not just for um lugging you know photocopiers and leather-bound cases but also to build buildings yeah one of the many innovations that were invented in the bond cinematic universe that then got adopted in real life. Of course, now we've got just a real run-of-the-mill.

We wanted to have some of the sort of accessible bits of everyday human life in the movie so people could get a bit of a doorway into their own lives. So this is a safecracker slash Xerox machine that's in a leather-bound briefcase, which you'll find in any office department store. You check the cupboard at your parents' house, now you'll probably find they've got an old one lying around.

So it's basically a photocopier with a very high-end safe-cracking device attached to it. We've all got, I mean, we don't need to explain this. Plug it into the safe. Bob's your uncle. Take the files that you need, photocopy them, pop it back on the crane. Bob's your uncle. Take the files that you need, photocopy them, pop it back on the crane. Fantastic bit of innovation ushered in from this film.

That's a line I still think about. Life's too short for someday. Isn't that beautiful? Yeah. It really encourages you to live with purpose and conviction. Well, I wanted Draco to have this sort of um philosopher king trying to get his daughter laid air about him throughout the film so i did try to with just not what was on the page in the script not just limited to that but i i started throwing

him some offers you threw a few offers in there as well. At one point, George Lazenby was giving him some lines from the side as well. He didn't take to George's lines so much. George's lines were disgusting. They were filthy. Absolutely filthy. This is a George Lazenby ad-lib here. We said he picks up and reads a magazine. George said, that could be a

playboy. Yeah, God. But we had said no to him literally hundreds of times leading to this shoot day. Better not be talking shit. Hello, you. Hello, I heard my name from that bush over there. Ah, George Lazenby. Welcome in, welcome in.

We're just doing a director's commentary of Ony Her Majesty's Secret Service, as a matter of fact. Well, I know. I was waiting for the perfect time to enter, and I thought I'd better get out in front of the story that I'm some sort of disgusting, lecherous, you know, sexy guy. Well. I am a sexy guy. You are a sexy guy, no doubt about it. In 1969, I think you were sort of a energetic virulent version of yourself

now you're sort of an older dulled man uh so it's not quite as confronting but i tell you what in the late 60s you were forced to be reckoned with on set what i lack in current, I guess, opportunity to have sex, I make up for with this pant-splitting, ear-splitting erection that I must lug around with me at every turn. And when you say ear-splitting, you're referring to your own? Yes, yes. So much of the blood in my body is driven towards my penis that I have a sort of permanent gentle migraine.

Oh, wow. That sounds awful. It really does. It's no good at all. You should talk to someone about that. Oh, I do. I'll talk to anyone who'll listen. I think we more mean like a professional.

Actually, fun story. recently haunting a young man in New Zealand by the name of Tim, who, uh, had a, is more sort of a version of that himself recently when he was giving blood. And, um,

he ended up passing out and, uh, passing his pants at the blood donation. Incredible. Yeah. It's just when you deprive the brain of blood, it's wild what can happen. You're telling me. Now, this is a fun touch.

So I took his centerfold. It was technically my centerfold, but the way it's edited, it looks like it was his. And I masturbated in that lift. Oh, wow. Right then when the cameras were rolling? Oh, yeah. It is disgusting. Disgusting and I think illegal.

Yeah, sounds incriminating. then when the cameras were rolling. Oh, yeah. It is disgusting. Disgusting and I think illegal. Yeah. Sounds incriminating. The 60s were pretty loose, but thank God we didn't see that at the time, George. I can't remember where we are now, but it's a beautiful looking homestead, isn't it? Boy, this is nice. There were so many high-end locations

that it can be difficult to keep track of all of them. Yes. Yes. Just a nice big building oh yes of course this is the after hours meeting with M to try and get himself back on the case

at M's personal quarters you know this is unheard of yes and M was living large of course an admiral in Her Majesty's Navy, you know. It's the best kind of armed forces in the 60s. So it would be a nice touch for me to add to the film that M was really into having sex with butterflies. Yeah, it got edited out, all the sex stuff,

so he just looks like a common butterfly hobbyist, but rest assured, yeah, he was... The original, the director's cut of this film, which, I mean, really, we should be doing the director's commentary too. That's right, yeah. He had a lot more butterfly fucking in it. And he took his role seriously.

He was having sex, Bernard Lee, I believe was the actor's name, was having sex with a lot of butterflies a lot of the time. George, I don't know if you remember this, but this is some critical exposition that we had to have in your one outing as Bond where we

explained that you're going to be taking on a persona Bray, Hillary Bray Yes, or Hilly to his lady friends. As a genial genealogist. That's right. Who's tracking family trees, is an expert in coats of arms.

Coats of arms? Coats of arms. I think that's the pluralized version of that. And the plan, if I may embody James Bond once more, was to use this cover to investigate Blofeld and whatever it was he was developing in the Swiss Alps. Yes. Which we will get to. The world is not enough.

There we go. That was in the fake coat of arms that I personally drew up and designed as the cover for James Bond's own genealogy. Which I believe they turned into a James Bond film later down the line. Yeah, we did. We do it again in a heartbeat. You make a second, the world is not enough. Yeah. I can't remember who this guy is.

I'm going to be totally honest with you. Sort of blanking on. This is Bray. Oh, yes, that's right. This is Sir Hilary Bray, who you, George, as James, will later portray. A man who works at the Royal College of some shit. And you sort of, what were the sort of creative decisions you were making when you decided

to portray Hillary Bray on site at Blofeld's, what would you call it, headquarters? Leah. And I wanted him to present as an effeminate man

of academia who, once the sun had set and the blinds were shut, the man liked to fuck. I don't know how else to were shut. The man liked to fuck. I don't know how else to put it. The man liked to fuck. Well, I think when I was embodying Bond and I did try to go sort of method,

I found it could be easy to keep my sexual desires and proclivities at bay throughout the day, but come nightfall I mean man's gotta fuck like a sex vampire yeah I am a bit this is where we head to shift production over to the Swiss Alps which listen

mid shoot you've already locked your story in your script, and then suddenly you've got to get out of Spain because relations have plummeted to an all-time low and you're being chased out by the authorities. We thought we'd shoot the rest of the movie in an exclusively English-speaking country, so we went to Switzerland.

Yes. So you can imagine how embarrassed we were when we found out that they speak not just one language, but upwards of three or four. In fact, English, I believe, if my memory serves, wasn't even the lingua franco. That is correct. Of the nation. I think maybe German's more prevalent.

German, French. Which I tell you what. But they're not even your original German and French. They're Swiss German and Swiss French. Which I tell you what. But they're not even your original German and French. They're Swiss German and Swiss French. Trying to honor the Queen's English while engaging in making a movie and then accidentally switching operations to somewhere where a form of German is the predominant language. It did not feel good.

This was the 60s. So this was the scars of decisions made by certain countries through the century were still fresh in minds. Not the Swiss, though. Not those beautiful, neutral bastards. That's right. They're like a metal child. They try and keep their head down, stay out of everything, while the eldest and the youngest battle for their parents' affections. I guess the parents in this analogy being America? Well, I was thinking sort of more Britain

and Russia and then Germany being the youngest. It's not a history podcast. We don't need to... You guys want to see the erection? Yeah, I'd love to see the erection, actually. It's been years. Jesus Christ! That thing was pretty unsightly in 1969.

It is not looking any better now. Well, I'm glad you mentioned it. Fuck me, Mr. Lazenby. It was in this movie that I first got it. So before this movie, I used to be able to, it would go up and go down like a traditional boner. Like a normal penis. That thing is a sight for sore eyes.

Yeah. I've got to go lie down. Okay. But I'll come back. When it's the scene, I'll come back. What's the scene? The scene where it happened, I'll show you. I'm just going to look away.

I'm going to look somewhere else that isn't it. Can you just do the top button on my shirt, please? I'm really sorry I can't. I can't reach it. It's too far from my arms. Please, I'll do it. There you go. You look a picture.

Thank you. I'll just go back to that bush. Cubby, you're a gentleman and a scholar for helping him out with that. I didn't, even as a ghost, I didn't have the stomach for that. It's intense. Ah, yes. 004. Now, a lot of key elements of this film

were left on the cutting room floor involving his storyline. So we never explicitly kind of got to know who he is. But in my mind, he's an ally on James' side in MI6. He's one of the double agents. He totally is. He's a trainee, though. So he's very good at tailing people, following people,

but he's not very good at being discreet, which is why he shows up on screen and on camera so frequently. He is responsible for sort of tracking James' location, making sure that, you know, MI6 know exactly where he is, but his refusal to keep any sort of distance actually jeopardizes both his and James' safety. People forget how hard it used to be to film stuff in helicopters

because cameras were bigger, and that is why you're getting a lot of helicopter shots right now. People said, Peter, you need to edit some of this stuff out and I said, go fuck yourself. Do you know how much it costs for us to get all these big, beautiful cameras and a helicopter in the Swiss Alps? And it comes back to that thing.

I mean, you've made a gorgeous movie. Thank you. People are resistant to change, but what you've created is gorgeous. I'm having such a wonderful time seeing all this for the first time. So that is the ski chalet, the mountain for the sort of public is outlined here. Where we're going, no regular folk are allowed. One element that I wanted to have in the film to really stamp my mark on the thing

is it was my directorial debut in the James Bond franchise was to have a German sort of maitre d' character. Is that what you're called? Matriarch? Yeah, i think that's more what i'm going for more hospitality yeah and you got uh kind of a madam of the house in a way step art is irma bunt that's right and she she was fantastic i mean i don't know if you've seen a a sort of spy spoof franchise called aust Powers, but to me it feels as though... Sorry, a spy what?

Spoof. What's... It's like a parody. You call that a spoof? How do you say it? I always thought it was spoof. Yeah. I always thought it was...

I thought spoof was... You and everyone else I talk to. Right. I always thought Spoof was... You and everyone else I talked to. Right. But, you know, Irma can be seen in Frau, Dr. Evil's right-hand lady. Dr. Evil himself.

Same woman? Or just that sort of archetype. That sort of archetype, yeah. What you've established, that's right. My team play. I've got to say, George Lazenby really did it. George, pipe down. Shush.

God, he's going to pass out again. I just wanted to compliment George Lazenby on his accent work here because now he's taking on not just his first but his second flavour of British. And it's a slightly more sort of posh. I mean, not that James is an

everyman necessarily but this is a more sort of refined academic. What do they call it? An ox came sort of An ox bridge. Yeah. No, make an ox come. An ox came is the past tense of describing when you

fellated an ox. And that is one of the methods that I believe was used to Who's the sovereign that the king's speech is about again? Colin Firth. Yes. And they taught Colin Firth to get over his stuttering because they said you need to

articulate your words. You need to talk as if you have an ox's cock in your mouth all of the time and you're fellating it. So you round out, you say, round your sounds. How now, brown cow, the ox came in my mouth. The ox in socks has a monstrous cocks. They come in my tum.

Tastes quite yum these sorts of common turns of phrase and elocution lessons I remember getting them as a boy I sort of shirked them because I I wanted to fit in with the other kids you see and I grew up in a

rather rough neighbourhood but my parents had plans for me above my station so they wanted me to be prepared with a more refined way of speaking. If I recall correctly, the way you told me once Peter was that your parents saw a production of My Fair Lady and they pretty much just tried to do that to you. Yes. And with some success. I mean, you directed a bond it's true

i did direct a bond now we wanted these rooms at the um also got a lot of oxes off so two caps in my feather that's right that's how they say that so one of the other things we want to do at blofeld's uh institute if we can call it, or headquarters, is we wanted the rooms to remain beautiful and ornate, but also be slightly more modern, sleek, closed off, and a little more clinical. And so that's what we see here. Our art designers did such a good job on this film.

A beautiful open fire. Those logs that are sitting next to the fireplace, and not a lot of people know that, kids. Kids dressed up as wood. Yeah. So it would be cheaper than sourcing actual bits of lumber. Yeah. Just put a few kids in makeup

and got them to sit next to the fire while we're shooting. That helicopter, that's a kid. And in this shot here, George Lazenby was played by... Two kids. That's right. One on top of the other in a coat. It's pretty convincing, really, isn't it? This is where we inserted the idea for an iPad into the movie.

Yes, we thought it would be cool if, and bearing in mind this did come out in 1969, Cubby and I worked on this one jointly. We were like, okay, how do you improve upon a bathroom mirror? 1969 cubby and i worked on this one jointly we were like okay how do you improve upon a bathroom mirror what if you could fit a series of electrical circuits in there that were so sophisticated and small that it could replicate a mirror image by shooting a camera outward and then displaying that on a glass layer and um I remember our soundie saying, you mean a mirror?

And I said, no, no, it will have the functionality of a mirror achieved through electronics. I remember him questioning why we didn't just want to use a mirror. And I remember that being the day he was fired and we got our new soundie. That's right.

And that soundie went on to be a man by the name of steve jobs he was at the time but you know he continued to be himself which was ironic because he sure lost himself a job on this shoot uh now james bond being in a cravat this was my soul uh line in the sand this was my everything else i could negotiate on but this was my red line yeah i said in my directorial debut in the bond franchise i insist on putting my own personal mark on this film and that needs to come in the form of james bond finally donning a cravat and wearing it well in tandem with a kilt and some sort of slightly more traditional

Scottish garb it was my insistence that we had several gorgeous women surround him and that was mostly for me and there you go that's another

little sort of self-knowing reference to um previous bond films obviously we know that james bond drinks a martini he's got a catchphrase which is shaken not stirred in this instance he's playing hillie bray sir hillary bray and so he has to think on his feet and come up with a different drink which is a malt whiskey and branch water yes that's what we called soda water back in the 60s because... You couldn't carbonate it. To fizz it up, you would smack it with a tree branch. I mean, Lazenby, he's passed out on the couch,

but I really have got to give him his props. He's done a pretty good posh British accent. He is. While describing what a genealogist does to this bevy of 24-year-olds. And it's a difficult role for James Bond to play as a sort of frumpy, socially awkward, stuffy genealogist, especially in a circumstance where traditionally James Bond would flourish as he's surrounded by all of these gorgeous women. Now this was a little comedic beat that

you opened up in the film. You invented a dish called Steak Peas Gloria, which turns out to just be chicken. Overcooked chicken, yeah. Sort of broiled chicken. Oh, so I guess we should probably remind people of the plot line of

this movie what's sort of going on over here so james bond uh in the role of hilly genealogist has infiltrated blofeld's leah which is a community and a clinic where people come if you are hot and female and 24 years old and allergic to something to get you over those allergies. That's right. Blofeld is a leading bacteriologist in this film. There's something along those lines. And he's trying to help people get over their allergies. Of course, the famous banana shot in there,

something you, Cubby, insisted on being in there as a nod to the Emmanuel movies. Well, George and I sort of agreed it would be funny to have a sort of banana on screen. It's a penis-looking food. Yeah. While we weren't totally vindicated in this film, it did go on to inform a lot of George's later work.

Yeah, so essentially Blofeld runs this institute and the forward-facing reason is he wants to help solve people of different allergies. Yeah. Have we got to the other bit of this? He's also very interested in his own genealogy and wants official recognition as a count. Oh, that's right. I think there's a land claim involved, if I remember my additions correctly.

That qualifies Sir Hilary Bray's visit, which is sanctioned, to dig into... To stamp his authority on announcing him the count so that he would get this inheritance away. All the while, James Bond's real reason for being there is to find out just what he's up to. So we've got a lot of fun and games established here for the sort of middle chunk of our movie.

Now, this. Oh, George, you're up. Oh, God, and you're up. This is when it happened. Disgusting. Yeah, so far, so good. Do you want to explain to people who can't make out what's happening on screen i mean we're looking on a cell phone i can barely see what's happening what was what was the sequence basically we were doing a sort of dinner scene where i was sat amongst all the gorgeous ladies

and um one of the ladies in the world of the film we weren't allowed to have sex. But of course, off camera, we were all fucking like maniacs. Wow, except for Diana Regg, who I... Yeah, you got spraying water on me. And one of them reached under and she was, for the sake of the movie, writing her room number on my leg with lipstick. But for the sake of herself, she was grabbing my member and stroking it until it became engorged. My word.

So far, so normal. Yes. But there must have been something going on with the way in which she did it or the sort of heightened sense of arousal I had. It's like making a face and the wind changes. Yes. Basically, it went up normal size, normal style, and it didn't come back down.

And I didn't want to draw attention to it on set so I left it as it was but with every passing day, week, month, year, it grew. First, barely recognisably at all but with time by a centimetre an inch, a foot which pretty much

brings us to now. I mean I'm a ghost. I've seen a lot of shit. So, ask me, was I hard when we filmed this scene? Were you hard? Yes. Go on. Ask again.

This is the same scene. Yeah, still hard. This is the same shot. Yeah, still hard. Still hard. This is the same shot. Yeah, still hard. So, like, even when you're having conversations with other actors in the film,

there's no sort of alleviation to the condition? No, it's permanent. My God. Well, George, you know, you don't have to join us for the whole commentary if you don't want to. It's really you can sort of just... I'll come and go as I please, yeah. You can have a lie down on the couch if you wish. I prefer the bush. You want to stay in the bush?

Yeah, the bush is good. Leering at us from over there. Yeah. Okay. oh yeah now i thought it would be uh funny to have a feature of the blowfeld family that they didn't have earlobes and that's how you could tell if you got one if you got a real one you know yeah so there's people rolling around claiming to be blowfelds in the world as we know but you know you got a real one when they don't have earlobes or a committed fake if they cut off their own earlobes yes so this is the first time we see um

Blofeld on screen I'm not sure if that's true in this film I'm not sure if that's true is it yeah okay and immediately once again if you remember that um if that's true. Is it? Yeah. Okay. And immediately, once again, if you remember that spoof film I was talking about, you can see the similarities between Blofeld

and Mike Myers' Dr. Evil. Yes, as I've been haunting kids that they all talk about Austin Powers. Kids are still talking

about Austin Powers? They love Austin. If there's two things kids love these days, it's TikTok dancers and Austin Powers. Kids are still talking about Austin Powers? They love Austin. If there's two things kids love these days, it's TikTok dancers and Austin Powers. I was just trying to remember the actor portraying this role of Blofeld. Oh, I can do that for you. Gabriel Fusetti, if memory serves. No, no, it was Tally Savalas.

Oh, of course, Tally. We called him Tally because the guy loved watching TV. It was a nickname that really stuck, and he sort of changed his stage name to go on performing as Tally hereafter. But I tell you what, it was very difficult. I had two main jobs on set in addition to making a fantastic movie. Number one was spraying water on a horned-up George Lazenby to keep him off our leading lady.

And rest assured, that was a big job. There we go. And number two was trying to separate old Tally from his TV set when it was time to shoot. Yeah. So difficult. I never should have given that man his own trailer with a small black-and-white 8-inch television set.

I would be watching, but our old nemesis, the news. Yes, always watching the news. So James of course now is, as all of the patients are at the Blomfeld Clinic, trapped inside of his room. He does not have control. Standard operating procedure at any

clinic. You want to make sure that patients are sequestered into their quarters at all times. And as well, you can imagine this would be driving him crazy as he has an overwhelming desire to get out of that room and into room 8. Now, people may forget, but in 1969, this is how all doors worked. Every door would shut and then have an electronic lock, which you could short-circuit by putting a hairpin metal ruler anything

metallic and small and manipulatable into the crack and just sort of joining the two wires up just phased out during the mid 70s um after a lot of people found a way to achieve a form of erotic pleasure by sort of gently attaching electrodes to the locks. And because it was hooked up to the mains, they sort of overshot the enjoyment amount of electricity and went right into a sort of fatal band of voltage. But up until that point, people forget this is how all doors worked. And it seemed like a pretty simple, idiot-proof system. I mean, how wrong we can be, but

just humans can't be trusted, can we? We've bloody ruined everything. Ruined the basic concept of electric doors. You should put that on a crest. What's that? Humans can't be trusted. Ah, yeah. Goes without saying, doesn't it? I've got to say, there's something about the image of George Lazenby in his prime just walking down a hallway in a kilt that is very exciting.

He's built for the screen, this man. Wow, he's gorgeous, isn't he? Six foot two if he's an inch. Sun-kissed from that down under sky. And with that sort of very alluring and laid back Australian attitude that turns on so many people.

Turns on as in arouses, not as in turns on. So it becomes aggressive towards. Oh, I see. Yes. Yes. Quite right. He did have quite a mood. Oh, he did. Comes from a long line of Australian actors who enjoy beating the shit out of other people.

Hugh Jackman comes to mind immediately. Famous for his barb rules. Nicole Kidman. Oh, my God. Cannot stop her fighting people. Naomi Watts. Yes. Naomi Watts, you know,

it's probably a little uncouth to talk about now, but she did murder three people in the heat of passion in a bar brawl in Chicago in 1995, which sort of cemented the Australian acting fraternity's reputation as being a bunch of assholes. She's so damn talented. She's just so good. Who do you think would win in a fight between Naomi Watts and the actual King Kong?

The real gorilla? Yeah, the real one. Probably Naomi. I think so too. If we're talking about Kong from the more recent Kong film or Godzilla vs. Kong, where they, for reasons that aren't clear to me, inflated his size. You'd probably have a more fair fight. But otherwise.

Yeah, King Kong was already pretty big, Peter Jackson. You probably don't need to beef him up even more. That's right. He used to be like big on the Empire State Building, but still a little gorilla. Yeah, yeah. And then they made him like as big as any building. Yes. Not necessary.

Bit much. We should make all the building. Yes. Not necessary. But much. We should make all the movies. Yes, that's quite right. I copy. So this was the scene where I wanted to see James Bond fuck, basically. So I engineered a situation where one of the 24-year-olds would invite him over to the bed using the lipstick on the thigh routine. He broke into a room using the electric door hack.

But I also had recently become aware of a CIA operation called MK Ultra, which I found fascinating at the time. This was through my research into the Secret Service, certain three-leader agencies in America. And I got to know some pretty top-level intelligence agents who were telling me some wonderful stories about a concept known as psychic driving, which was basically a very advanced form of hypnotism where you

would break down a person's psyche using what might now be described as torture, sleep deprivation, electrolysis, LSD was in the mix, flashing lights, this sort of thing. And you would break down their very being, their personhood, and then sort of thing and you would break down their very being their personhood and then sort of rebuild it in a way which you wanted to and when i found out that the cia was engaged in this sort of research i thought to myself i should probably let people know we're going to get this out here but you didn't want to be your sort of traditional murdered whistleblower that's right and so what do you do you work your way up from being a second unit director to a big screen big time big honcho water spraying man of film and it would be too simple to simply explain the concept

in a documentary so instead you insert it as a very important through line in George Lazenby's Bond. That's right. And I just sprinkled all these little clues to let the audience know that what we're seeing is real. So this is probably where Lazenby's Bond risks being discovered that he in fact is not a nervous genealogist called Sir Hilary Bray.

He's a cool dude who loves to fuck that's right the man laid down just a few too many baited hooks at that lady's dinner and is now i suppose reeling in some pretty big fish as he goes on a fuck mission in between bouts of intense hypnosis the guy uses exactly the same lines he has in the previous scene that is on us we only wrote one lot of script it was very embarrassing we knew that james bond was going to be multiple women at this um organization of 24 year olds and look the screenwriter should have done his bit to be fair we should have done ours the reality was no one did their bit so George Lazenby

just had to recycle the same tete-a-tete with different he sold it well though and both times he got results sure

the character had sex with those women but George made a point of also as a person having sex with those people hats off to all of them yeah in fact

every single extra you see on camera here george had sex with he was getting pretty desperate at this point in production the kids crucially yeah yeah well the kids were camouflaged so well at the time yeah that umbrella that's a kid yeah george stayed well away george sort of became more and more frantic as he realized he couldn't get rid of this erection and the cruel irony was that every time he had sex, it actually would grow. Real catch-22, considering what usually happens when you have sex with an erection.

That's right. 004 here, trying to make his way in, gain ingress to the allergy compound to help James out. I just thought it would be a unique creative challenge for myself to think of the most nerdy shit possible. What's your classic nerd shit?

People being allergic to things, of course. Yeah, yeah, it's embarrassing. It's an embarrassing deficiency to have as a person. Blight on your personality if you're allergic to anything and so i thought wouldn't it be fun to have a super rich powerful bond villain whose fucking thing was solving allergies can i make it believable can i make it fun can i somehow create a situation where this mission of his,

which is the most nerdy shit possible, involves essentially a cavalcade of Miss Universe contestants? And, I mean, to your credit, it turned out the answer was yes. Mission succeeded, or my name isn't Peter R. Hunt. I think that's your name. Yeah, same. Well, that means I achieved my mission I guess.

004 scaling a rocky mountain. Now this bit was actually that was shot back in Britain. Yeah, we just wanted to see British rocks represented on screen. We thought it was important. We thought it was important to see British rocks represented on screen.

We thought it was important. We thought it was important to see the Queen's rocks on film. Now, these birds are visibly not real, and that is because Alfred Hitchcock had, well, basically he went straight to the bird union when he made the birds, and he hired all acting birds for 20 years. We had to string up a bunch of kids, paint them black,

and just tie them to bits of fishing wire and dangle them into the sky. It was phenomenally dangerous. Hitchcock tried to sue us. He said, it's not just real birds, it's anything representing birds. And we said, those are clearly kids. Everyone can see those are kids, Alfred.

And he said, well well it's too convincing for my taste but um luckily the court saw it as we saw it and so the child birds remained in the film yeah this is the benefit and we didn't know this at the time setting out but this is the benefit of shooting your film in seven different countries you get to pick the court that you have your trial in yeah little known fact if someone comes to you and says, hey, your movie broke this law, you said, listen, I made it in Toronto. Canada's law dictates I can do whatever the fuck I want. So we had that trial in a kangaroo court.

In fact, I think you'll find there's nothing in the rules of Canada that says a dog can't play basketball. Which is how they got away with that one. See, classic line from Blover. There are certain rules which must be observed. Just for context now, our decision to record the strictest commentary outside. Yes.

With an impending storm. Yeah, there is. One of our better ideas. What feels like some sort of storm threatening to blow through here. So if you pick up any extra wind sounds, those chimes should be blowing pretty nice and strong now. Don't you worry about that. It's all going to plan.

Just wanted to add to the world. As Bond faces duress throughout the film, so too should the production crew, the people behind the scenes. We're all about method. We are. We are everything being method. That's why we insisted on our soundy being a very good listener.

George Lazenby's brother, actually. Yeah. Family of fantastic listeners. And the more that George... That was the one after the first one got fired. The more that George became sort of frantic with his quest to lose his erection, the better listener he became as he found himself looking for solutions to the point that he eventually supplanted his brother

as the world's greatest listener. Takes a big man to listen. Takes a bigger man to keep listening through the world's largest erection. George Latham being a sweater, you know. What's not to love? Yum yum. Now we're really going to up the stakes in jeopardy here.

Oh yes, so this is now when James as Hilly has tried to go back to bed with Ruby one of the

Ruby she's not there bitch it's frow line that's right so Irma Bunt the sort of enforcer

the maitre d' or matriarch is um depends if it's breakfast or not yeah uh has seen through

James's very thin disguise and now we enter a new phase of the film where james is no longer operating as hillary bray but himself inside of the complex and this of course is an opportunity to introduce one of the iconic scenes where the villain refuses to kill bond in my directorial debut on the bond franchise i thought it was important for me to put my own personal creative mark on the movie. And I thought it would be a cool idea if I did what all the other Bonds previously had done in allowing Bond an elaborate method to escape rather than when he's in the most extreme perilous situation of being caught out by the villain,

being revealed to be a secret agent working on Her Majesty's Secret service they don't just shoot him in the head which logic would dictate you see these villains shoot a lot of other people in the head tons they have no qualm with murder reckless uh sort of indifference to other people's lives and livelihood but i thought i would strike out my own path as an individual by and keeping what with everyone else had done on previous bond films and allowing bond a pretty generous opportunity to escape certain death that's right it's also a great opportunity for um plot and any sort of evil mastermind schemes to be laid out in clear terms for our less discerning or intelligent audience members.

Cubby invented that, babies. Yeah. He created that cinematic motif. That's cool. Until then, the audience had to, like, get little clues from the story about what was unfolding. Cubby said, listen, if I may, let's quote you. He said, listen, people who go to the flicks are fucking dummies.

You got to tell them out loud explicitly what the rub is. That's right. It's called the Cubby Cuddle. And here I'm cuddling the audience in and through the medium of Blo blofeld i keep forgetting his name i'm whispering exactly what the details of the plot are to the audience it's just a better way to make a film absolutely you can't trust people that really should be on a crest of some description yeah interesting fact about telly we tried so hard to make him smoke cigarettes like a normal person but he refused he seemed to have touched a cigarette yeah fucking life he was convinced that if you held a cigarette horizontally it would go out and so he spent the whole time when he's not

dragging on it holding his cigarettes upright between his thumb and his forefinger. It's not how I've seen anybody hold or interact with a cigarette in my life. It's like a little chimney. Or death. Well, my name isn't Peter Hunt. Which it is. Which, for the record, it is. Now, this is, yeah, so as we mentioned,

the pivotal bit of the movie where Blofeld explains his dastardly plot, which is actually pretty cool. He's developed something called an omegavirus, which changes the genetic information of any living organism, animal, or plant into becoming sterile, so it can't have offspring. So as you can imagine, these um just little tweaks of making it applicable to certain species he can wipe out entire crops of plants uh you know starving off stock or simply wipe out you know cows generally throughout the world or humans if he desires

do exactly as you please so what he's going to do is send a little taster of this wee virus to the UN to prove that he's got it and hold them over a barrel to get them to announce his countship. I think get some riches off them. Yeah. I thought it was important that the other villain in this movie be the UN because I've long had an axe to grind with those. Yeah, you sort of think of them as a bunch of... Pencil-pushing fuckwits.

Yeah, that's right. You call them snivelling bureaucrats. That's right. So by way of prison, instead of containing him inside of an ordinary room, they decided that they would keep Bond in a clock tower. I mean, I don't know how else you would respond to a situation

where your prisoner lashes out and almost kills your henchman. But to banish them to a clock tower. Yeah, just put them in a kind of a closet, a mechanical closet for a while. It makes sense to everybody, right? Makes sense to us. That's my favourite subtitle there.

I don't know if you're watching this with subtitles on, but it says Klefilg. Yeah. There are a couple of pretty great subtitles in this. One which I don't think either of us added because we didn't have anything to do with the subtitling. That came much, much after our involvement in the film. But someone added an unconfident vibe

to the chime of the elevator. So the subtitle reads, Um, Belle? Pretty cool. The elevator, of course, played by another child in makeup, so it did make a bit more sense if you have that context

that it would be an unconfident elevator. So now all of the gorgeous women who have been healed here at the Allergy Institute are being primed to be released into the world and we have not yet had a clear explanation on exactly how Blowfowl

plans on deploying these sleeper agents. Yeah, yeah. So they've been hypnotized to fuck. I mean to the point of fuck. They were also doing some fucking, but they weren't hypnotized to do that. It was their own choice.

Them getting their fuck on. Not enough movies with scenes of people trapped in giant clocks. It's the only one of its kind I can remember. I'm sure there's been some films involving the Big Ben, but couldn't tell you about them. When you're a ghost, it's quite hard to

get to the cinema. Surely it'd be easier than ever. No, no, you're not allowed because you don't have any money so you can't pay the ticket price for admission. Pass through a wall? What am I, a thief? I see. I'm not going to steal a movie. Noble ghost. You wouldn't download a car, would you? If I could, I thief? I see. I'm going to steal a movie. Noble ghost.

You wouldn't download a car, would you? If I could, I would. Fair enough. James Bond really in shit creek now, having to resort to, well, I guess MacGyver wasn't out yet, but a pretty DIY solution of ripping out his own pockets to make some impromptu gloves. It was fortunate that this worked out for the film because George was actually doing that to aerate his erection. Again, the guy was trying literally anything he could think of to help himself. And this is one of the most painful scenes. The sound mix, we had to turn all the way down. He is

climbing along a sort of coiled piece of metal which is a steel rope, and he is grazing. He's on top of it. So he's inside of a gondola, and you know those big tough metal ropes for a gondola. He's on top of that, crawling his way across, and you can only imagine the friction on his giant erect penis. God, I can't.

It is difficult. Knowing what we know, it's hard to watch. Harder than this bit where George gets a bit of sweet relief by almost getting crushed to death in some giant cogs. But luckily, he just drops off at the right time. Holds on. by almost getting crushed to death in some giant cogs. But luckily, he just drops off at the right time. Holds on. So now we have a scene where Blofeld is explicitly explaining for our even denser audience members

how these agents will be used in the real world. It's a fantastic piece of movie making and a credit to you. Putting a bunch of hot women on screen? Yeah. yeah yeah no one had thought to do that before me that's right i'm a visionary a true visionary gondolas don't really get enough play these days i feel i've been haunting a lot of different countries recently. And gondolas are nowadays always chalked up as this sort of inequity. What does the word inequity mean?

I mean... Antiquity. Antiquated? Do you mean like... Like an antique. Yeah, yeah. And sort of not of function. But the thing is, they're a great way to get around. I think the two biggest buildings in every city should have a gondola that goes between them.

Imagine if there was a gondola between, oh, I don't know, the two towers. Yeah, that would be awesome. Would have been awesome. Just double checking when I was kicking around. Oh yeah, I would have just known about that. You had your own stuff going on at the time. What about if there was one between the Big Ben and Tower of London? That's a lovely idea.

How cool would that be? Look, it's a great idea. I was in New Zealand recently. I don't think there's any two buildings big enough to do it. It'd be the Sky Tower to nothing. To the ground. Oh, I always worry for George's fingers in that scene, but I needn't because I know the outcome.

He survives and he is about to wreak havoc on those who have wronged him and are trying to wrong society at large. Yeah, I wanted to, in my directorial debut in the Bond franchise, put my own creative mark on this movie. And I thought it would be cool to look to the horror genre to put a couple sort of jump scares in of putting James Bond's body in some impending,

visible, grotesque danger, like his fingers about to be completely chewed up by mechanical gears. Still so stressful for me. I just want to say, now, this is the beginning of a very long scene and sequence that was shot at dusk. And there's going to be quite a lot of, obviously the internal footage you can artificially light and it's a little bit easier, but there are some huge outdoor sequences

that were shot across two years. Yeah, it took a long ass time. I wanted to put my own creative mark on this movie and I thought that the way I could do that is extending production across two calendar years. That's right.

If you notice, you can actually see James extending production across two calendar years. That's right. You certainly... If you notice, you can actually see James Bond age throughout the scene of skiing down the mountain, which he's about to start engaging in. Now, of course, Tracy we haven't seen for some time, a.k.a. Contessa or Teresa, daughter of Franco. Love interest of Bond. She's been off the scene for a good while

while he's infiltrated the allergy center of Blofeld. And you might be wondering to yourself, huh, wonder what Tracy's up to. I am. And I wanted you to think that as a viewer. That's my job as a director. My job as a director is to establish characters in the film and then ignore them to a point where you go,

wasn't there a woman named Tracy in this story that seemed quite pivotal, like an hour ago? Well, it's a long movie running at two hours and 20 minutes. I just want to quickly pause behind the scenes conversation and talk about the actual action that's taking place here. Oh, we're still getting the explainer from Blofeld. Yeah, one of my favorite things about this is, I mean, I am an idiot,

so having it explained to me made understanding the movie a lot easier. Copy. No, I can say that. But also, it feels to me like Blofeld's plan, there's not a lot of sort of jargon to try and throw off. There's a very logical, practical element that is laid out in his plan. It's great.

It's a great plan. It doesn't feel like they're hiding the sort of inconsistencies or the failures of it behind barriers of language or things that the layman doesn't understand. There's some technical mumbo-jumbo to connect the dots for you. What's the plan? Get a bunch of hot 24-year-olds from all over the world to come and join you in a clinic.

Brainwash the fuckers. Give them a biological agent without their knowledge. Insert a Manchurian candidate trigger in their subconscious, which even they don't know about. Send them off home. And then at a moment of your choosing, communicating through a compact mirror, aka two-way communique using radio frequencies,

tell them to fucking spray that virus load. That's right. And then boom, we've got a plan cooking, baby. Now this scene, George was meant to come out of the elevator, but he has this thing. He always masturbates in elevators, so he just stayed in there. And it actually worked really well for the story because you'll see now.

It was beautifully for the scene, didn't it? He really gives this henchman what for. Originally an accident, someone tapped on the glass to make sure George wasn't in there and he was so taken aback by the fact that someone was intruding on his, what did he call it, boner time?

Yeah. That he burst the door open and took out one of our fantastic actors. But we sort of just kept rolling and inserted it into the movie. So in this scene, that's right, George thinks he's disposing of a real body. Important to bear in mind, it's an incredibly convincing performance. And the reason for that is because he thinks he's committed manslaughter. Yes.

What do you think key work start means? Storeroom? Yeah. Work stuff. Work stuff, I reckon. Shooting this on location, we just sort of used a lot of elements that were given to us we didn't build that gondola for example um nor is the gondola a bunch of kids painted up to look like a gondola that's a real gondola real functioning gondola

yeah so george tried out a few differentips, and it was probably his biggest weakness as a performer. Yes. As one of the only lines that he says in the final act of this movie, maybe he should have been gift-wrapped after taking out a henchman. Yeah. I don't know about that one. Doesn't really... I mean, what's he talking about? You know what I mean?

Yeah. I have a hunch that you'll be in here for a while man yeah would be closer to it sucks but it's better relevant yeah so this is the scene we were talking about before an incredibly challenging thing to shoot we've got a real man skiing down a real mountain at nightfall oh hold on i think we could brainstorm a few better lines um that bond could have said when taking out that henchman. Don't let the door hit you on your way out. That's right. Because he stuffs them into a closet, you know? Yeah.

Not sort of a pun, but just Yeah, yeah. You startled me while I was tending to my boner. Again, more factual. Yeah, but still better than what he said. Yeah. More factual. Yeah, but still better than what he said.

Yeah. This is a great era for skiing fashion. I know they're all on matching jackets. Oh, what about this? No, no, I don't have anything. Boy, I tell you what, we gave Lazenby a lot of shit about these terrible lines, but they're harder than they look.

Yeah, they are. And we wouldn't tell in the situation or what to say beforehand so he was really operating on the fly oh okay what about this one cubby um quit your skiing because they're all on they're in a ski-ming because they're all on – they're in a ski chalet. Getting warmer. Yeah, I hope you don't mind if I alp out because he's leaving the alps. Yes, alpine. Nice. Oh, what about this? He punches him and the guy is unconscious in a closet and he says, why don't you try putting some ice on it?

Is that anything? Some ice on it? You know, when you sort of get a black eye or something, you put a frozen piece or something. I feel like we were getting warmer just before. I see. Blofeld loves flares. What about this?

Don't make a mountain out of a punch. I think Mulho would work fine. You know, you've got the mountain angle. Why change a saying? Oh, yeah, yeah, that's true. Okay. See those trees? Oh, yeah, just to remind people who may be visually impaired,

and I know they enjoy the movie this way, what we are treated to right now is this long dusk sequence Yeah, just to remind people who may be visually impaired, and I know they enjoy the movie this way, what we are treated to right now is this long dusk sequence of Bong getting away from Blofeld and half a dozen henchmen skiing down a mountain. Incredibly hard for me to shoot this. Yeah, all the trees in Switzerland are with a union, and the fees that they charge to shoot in and around them is exorbitant. So we basically got a bunch of Swiss kids, and we painted them up.

We sure did. Glued bark to them, and basically they had to stand still for the two years we were filming here. It was fucked up. We decided to shoot through the Christmas period, which, to be honest, is on us. But every pine tree is signed up to the union, and that's kind of their crucial work bit of the year.

So they were off. So, yeah, we had to glue together a bunch and then paint kids to look like pine trees. So a lot of these, it looks like they're skiing through different parts of the mountain. Oh, fair trees, rather. Yeah, they're the same kids. That's a bit of movie magic.

Yeah, and we lost a lot of kids. Well, of course, you've got to get about 35 kids together to make one big adult fir tree. So it's just numbers. It's inevitable. It's a numbers game. So you're making 100 trees, 35 kids per tree. That's 3,500 kids.

I would defy any production to use 3,500 kids to represent 100 trees in the Swiss Alps for two years without losing anywhere between one or 3,400 of those kids. Great plan from Bond here, which is to... So satisfying to see someone poleaxe with a ski in midair. Yeah, just smash someone who's taking a jump. Just smash them right in the face with a ski. That wasn't a henchman.

That was someone who was skiing for leisure. They just happened to buy the same jacket. Yeah, this is... I made the crab decision in my directorial debut on the James Bond franchise to put my own mark on the thing. I wanted to make sure that the production was shot uh sequentially as it was laid out in the script so it's just easier this was the part where it's easy for me to edit later on that's something i learned editing all these previous bomb movies i was hired to as an editor just uh don't make me do that but can you guys

please just arrange the production so you shoot you, in the order in which it's going to unfold? All right. And this is the bit where we really lost the reins on George Lazenby a bit. Like, he just started going rogue. We were in the Alps. He started smacking up random skiers who were not involved in production. Well, you're hiring an Australian, you get an Australian actor. I had to upgrade from the spray bottle to a pressurized water cannon

to keep him off of Diana Rigg. Yeah, harder to aim. So obviously you're also responsible for taking out a lot of different people. Yeah, no doubt. And George, you're water blasting people on the Alps. Hypothermia is no laughing matter, you know, except we're now sound. He lost a few toes because

of frostbite because i blasted him with the water and he wasn't wearing appropriate footwear that's pretty funny if you don't laugh you know you'll cry it's just the funny thing about it is how important a big toe is for balance you know you don't know yeah until you get blasted with a water cannon a device designed to get your leading man from stopping getting his hands on your leading woman. Spray a soundy, freezes big toe off. It's funny to see a guy that tall holding a boom pole fall over. The number of people you've sometimes got to, well, I guess, you know, comically and permanently injured to get in the way of george lazenby's libido and um

the actors around him is uh staggering that's the thing people think filmmaking's easy guess what it isn't that's what i say to all the critics when they watch this and they panned it upon release oh yeah well you fucking try and round up 3 500 kids yeah tape them together and paint them up the same language as you you try and don't even speak the same language as you. And don't even speak the same language as each other. Yeah. You try and argue with a maniacal producer if you'll

excuse the term and phrase cubby. That's okay. Who insists that the lead character can't be in a wheelchair for the whole film. You try and wrangle with a standard issue fire hose from a Swiss fire department in the cold while shooting.

And then you try conducting a director's commentary outdoors in the middle of a rainstorm yeah and you tell me how you find it you tell me if you enjoy the process if you find it easy because I don't think you would but this is what you've got to do for the flicks

yeah again a lovely bit of a local touch there there was a real Swississ market on this night these are real people yes this was the bit of production where um look we had lost control of george we had burned through the entire budget shooting that two year down a mountain scene so finally at the end of it we were sort of open to all ideas to get across the finish line. And we were stuck in Switzerland at the time, found a ice skating festival that we happened upon and just started shooting. Yeah. They'll tell you in film school these days that you need releases to have people on screen.

You can barely move for release forms on sets for television shows or movies nowadays. Do you know what I say to that? Go tell the fucking UN, you pencil pushing assholes. No one gives a shit. Once the camera's on you and you've got it in a cinema, it's done. You're laughing.

The whole thing's done. Great song that our Sandy wrote for this scene and now as some of the lyrics the reintroduction oh yeah trace is back it's a christmas song but um the lyrics kind of don't make sense yeah it's kind of about friendship and kindness etc etc it sort of sounds like it was run through a Google translator a few times back and forth. It sort of feels like snow or something. It's a credit to the... Interesting rain for this time of year outdoors

in this part of the world where we are recording the director's commentary. Just how heavily it's falling now. recording the director's commentary. Just how heavily it's falling now. Gives you a real sense of place and camaraderie with what's happening on screen in the mountains, doesn't it? It certainly does give me a deeper sense of empathy for the... Although these people on the mountain are drier than us right now, which is interesting.

Well, and they're dressed for the weather, which is a big difference. Yes, that's true. You know, in the colder parts of Europe, they often say there's no such thing as um bad weather just bad clothes right so that's a trap we've fallen into presently quite just gonna check on the old med service sure see what that weather pattern's doing checking that rain radar that's right the people have a right to know so James Bond now in a little

creative touch I wanted to add to the film in my directorial debut of the Bond franchise. You did want to leave your own mark on it as I recall I really did and so I thought it would be pretty cool to let the woman do the driving what some might consider quite an un-James Bond move but I thought you know what

we've established Tracy as a bad bitch let's put her behind the wheel what some might consider quite an un-James Bond move, but I thought, you know what? We've established Tracy as a bad bitch. Let's put her behind the wheel. And you were right to do it. It's a decision that really helped cement this movie's reputation as one of the foremost feminist films of our time. All of the above. I've just been joined by a kitty cat outside. This director's commentary.

It's essential to have one roaming around. Yeah. Just helps you really keep your eyes on the prize. So one of the things about James Bond is he's emotionally unavailable. The guy quite simply cannot stop quipping. So even when his life's under threat and he's been in this insane circumstance, if he comes across a romantic interest,

he's not going to let down his guard for one moment. He's going to make jokes. That's right. Much like a rainstorm or a cat trying to derail a director's commentary, James Bond will not be deterred from his mission. The cat is now rubbing up on the lid of the phone. Cell phone that we're watching on.

It's good. We've engaged in a small battle now with the local cat. Like James Bond, we will press on with the task at hand get out of here oh no Luke has taken a small tumble and quite rightly decided to leave right so

yes James Bond giving a a nice little kiss on the cheek to tessa she drives away from the baddies now is really i would say that our composer john barry has taken the wheel on providing the emotional here while we do some terrible green screen work and convincing people that tessa is driving but the external shots look great. Yeah, yeah. The car's sort of careening down, you know, these very tightly packed narrow roads

between banks of snow on either side. It's reminiscent of a bobsled, if you will, and almost a foreshadowing, as, of course, this has a very famous bobsled chase sequence, this film. Yes. Something to look forward to. This is a great scene where James shows just how reckless his disregard is for human life.

Well, I mean, to be fair, Tessa's got the wheel at this point. Now, they've entered a rally of some sort. Just absolutely lousy with VW Beetles and small cars of that nature. It's a great and expensive action sequence. Both Bond

and the chasing henchman. It's just inescapable to describe how chilly and wet it has become in our recording situation. How do we get out, Tracy? Wish I knew. Wish I

knew. Well, James does know. What he'll do is he'll point to a heavily pedestrianised area just off the course. Sort of like... This was an offer from Lazerbean. It's so good. I want you to complete what's about to happen here

because this is crucial. So they're sort of trapped in this circuit, this NASCAR-style round and roundabout of a car race, unable to really catch a break and find an exit point. And then James has the incredible idea to do what, Cubby? Because this was your offer. To drive through a pedestrianised area? Yeah.

Yeah. And then attempt to throw off the baddies as if they would have a higher moral code than James Bond would in trying to avoid killing innocent civilians. I think it's important to represent the complexity of people and the duality of man on screen. And so while James understands these people have a desire to kill himself and

eventually, you know, hold the entire world to ransom, he also knows that on an interpersonal scale it's very unlikely that he'd be willing to follow them in a car through a pedestrian mall. Or so he believes, anyway. Let's find out, folks.

It's all unfolding in front of our eyes. Now, of course, they didn't get the opportunity because they crashed their car and get upturned. Yes, and then exploded, which was something that I established. No one had done that in film before, but I wanted to create a rule where if any car flipped onto its top it would explode it would explode tracy's throwing her own quips in there she just said we didn't even stop for the prize sort of indicating that they may have won the rally which is just like i think an

important thing to show that these two lovebirds are on the same level. That's right. They were made for each other. They're now in a snowstorm. So we have, again, some real jeopardy here. I mean, they've outrun the bad guys, but if you get caught in one of these Swiss snowstorms high in the Alps in a car, you're liable to freeze to death. That's right. It's sort of akin to recording a director's commentary outside

in an environment and time of year and maybe place on earth where you're liable to just get absolutely drenched. That's right. It is still hosing down. But if I am to judge those cloud formations behind you, I have a feeling this thing should blow through and, you know, God willing, we'll be basked in sunlight within the hour. Just as the film is due to end.

Well, you know, I blame the pandemic. And you blame everything on the pandemic. I do. Why do you blame the pandemic, Cubby, for the weather? I just blame the pandemic for political correctness. I think the the pandemic for political correctness. I think the real pandemic is political correctness. I see. I get the angle.

So Contessa and James have found themselves in a barn. A little refuse in the storm. They found an empty barn, drove the car in, and have found some great accommodation for the night. That's right. And remember, these are two people who have not yet consummated their very clear love for one another. So we are at high risk of, well,

of what you've been working against this entire film, which is a sex scene between the two leads. Now, at this point... Oh, I didn't... I mean, you'll see it in a couple of minutes, but, my God, really battling George to keep his hands off her in this scene as well and i succeeded thanks to my water cannon or did i

no i didn't now i remember what happened now I yelled cut George Lazenby grabbed a nearby pitchfork and lobbed it into a piece of our set which deployed Contessa who was in a separate bed hanging over him to roll onto his body

everyone was so confused about whether we would keep shooting, whether we would keep shooting, whether we cut when I, the director, said cut. That's right. I mean, I was out of money, out of ideas, and running out of chances. And incredibly cold. It is so cold on those Alps.

Cat's back. Oh, God. A bit of a fun scene here between Bond and Tracy where she obviously is incredibly horny because she's been holding out for her desire to have sex with 007. Cubby, if you could make a sequel to any movie that already exists, make a sequel to any movie that already exists you could pick your own writer director cinematographer leading actors what would you want to make a sequel to it's a great question and i'm gonna say cars 2 you want to see the old broccoli mark on the cars Yeah. What would you do with it? Well, I'd love to see what happens when Lightning McQueen is told

that the world's moving on from, you know, the petrochemical boom and is going to electric. Holy shit. What happens in the Cars universe when fossil fuels get banned? Well, Lightning McQueen goes on a bit of a spree. Jesus. Straight for Silicon Valley, The Enemy. Wow. You've got that

iconic sort of iconic, liconic Owen Wilson dialogue taking place as he just mows through various different streets and office buildings. Sort of like that Michael Douglas movie, Falling Down, but in the Cars universe. It's just a car with nothing left to lose.

It's all building to this incredible scene with Elon Musk at the SpaceX headquarters. Yeah. He's trying to get away on a plane. Lightning's saying planes aren't electric. And I don't want to give up the ghost or give away too much too soon. But rest assured. It's also a hybrid, so it's done with your classic Pixar animation, some of Jim Henson's puppets.

Oh, I was going to say, Lightning McQueen's not a hybrid. I thought that was sort of the whole point of the movie. And real people. Right, right, right. No, yeah, the movie's decidedly anti-hybrid. Yeah, that's okay. With respected cars, but in terms of movie making. Very hybrid.

Yeah. Okay. Okay hybrid You? Oh look I'd make a sequel to this film On Her Majesty's Secret Service 2 And what would happen in it? Largely the same events But it would be A lot heavier on the

Orphan angle Yeah you're really not letting that go And James Bond would be a lot heavier on the orphan angle. Yeah, you're really not letting that go. And James Bond would be in a wheelchair the whole time after the second scene. So after that incredible romance scene. I mean, imagine all of the alpine skiing with him in a wheelchair. It just opens up. We've seen James Bond do it all.

Submarines. He's gone to space. He's driven tanks. He's, you know, he's done it all. But he hasn't been confined to a wheelchair yet, and I just think it would be an interesting realm for him to exist in. I've seen, you know, skiers in wheelchairs before, and it actually looks like a really good time. Dynamite.

Dynamite. So, yeah, we had that little moment of reprieve from all the action where James seduces Tracy, and then we're right back into it here as Blumfeld tracks them down the mountain. Blumfeld, you're chucking an M in there constantly, Cubby. It's your old age, I guess. I am senile. And dead.

Yeah. Fun fact about this whole scene is that none of our original cast are in it. We got a bunch of kids who are a lot more cost effective biff them down a mountain and got um makeup to do a really convincing job of dressing them up as james bond george lazenby of course um diana rigg and the rest sadly we did lose one of the kids to uh what do you call? A snowblower? Is that what this machine is? It sort of cuts a path in the snow. Snowpiercer?

And we kept it in. The cameras were rolling. It is probably the most gruesome scene in a Bond film to date. Yes, it's insane. I mean we see a man fall down a snow trench get ground up in this machine and then pushed out the top in the form of ground, red,

bloodied body parts among the powdered white snow. I say donate the yellow snow. I'd also recommend staring clear of the red snow because chances are it's a person's gut. Big time, especially a little kid. Makes you sad. Makes you sad to think about. And that's why it's gut. Big time. Especially a little kid. Makes you sad. Makes you sad to think about. And that's why it's best not to.

So now Bluefeld has got the idea that if he can't catch them, by God, the snow can. So he finds out that they're in an avalanche area and sets off a detonator that creates, well, probably one of the greatest risks to a person, secret agent or no, an avalanche. And to film directors, as it turns out, because this shot, which I actually thought was a pretty bloody good idea, considering we were out of money, for a final action beat to insert into the film. What is more exciting than seeing the entire side of a mountain range collapse in on some actors?

Yeah. I mean, just fantastic. So we were onto a skeleton crew at that point. A lot of people were bailed out of the production because a lot of checks were bouncing by that stage. And I said, look, I'll do it myself. And you did. So I initiated an avalanche on the Swiss Alps. And can I tell you what? I got in a lot of trouble well the thing about an avalanche is you don't really know how big

one is until you're at the bottom of a mountain watching it come towards you that's what makes it exciting man do we lose a lot of kids in this sequence yeah because it's not just the kids playing henchmen of course we've also still got some of those kids playing trees now and we also started putting kids on the production as well a lot cheaper to and we told them just to stand strong you know if you're being a tree keep saying keep holding the boom we want brave little boys and girls out there it doesn't matter action how brave an eight-year-old is being in the face of a real avalanche triggered by the director. You know, that kid's pretty much mostly snow.

Yeah. And, you know, the irony is, of course, that now that snow is still mostly kids. Still, though, can't argue with results. It's a hell of a scene isn't it i mean just a lot of beautiful shots of uh of mountains and snow if you've got it flaunt it put it on the screen can i tell you whenever i hear someone say if you got it flaunted i always think of a quote from the nickelodeon show as told by ginger the film that you cubby broccoli were a huge fan of well i didn't i did like the i was there a film i remember it as a tv show maybe there was a film

but she says uh they say if you got it flaunt it but what if you don't and whenever i hear that i always want to shake the screen and say but you've got it ginger you know just because you don't? And whenever I hear that, I always want to shake the screen and say, but you've got it, Ginger. Just because you don't see it, it doesn't mean you don't have it. And with time, you will see it. That's the thing about Cubby Broccoli. You can take the man out of the film production, but you can't take the film production out of the man.

He sees star quality, he'll tell you. Nothing of not encouraging. James Bond now, back to base. Yeah, and he's pretty much told him exactly what happened and he said, we need to get this guy. And we need, you know,

the UN sucks. Yeah, he's a big anti-UN guy. This was a bit where I wanted to put my frustrations with the UN on screen. Why are your frustrations with unions? You know, the United Nations, I guess. Well, you can't spell union without a U and an N. That's right.

They go right up the top. As do those sniveling bureaucrats. Were they based? Who's that? The UN. Geneva, I believe. The bastards. Basically, Bond still wants to kill this guy,

and M says, No. We're going to leave it. No, because the snivelling UN don't want to. They think it's too risky, which I think is a very accurate description of how the UN would have treated this situation in real life. What, do you think a guy like James Bond is going to stand for that sort of behaviour? I don't think an organisation like MI6 should

What they're going to take orders from the UN Bunch of fucking nerds Yeah Equivalent all the time about water quality And the fact that you can't put Kids on mountains When you're shooting a movie Water is water is water

Get the fuck out of here Water water everywhere so let's all have a drink, you know. You know who said that? Homer Simpson. Did he? Oh, that was a Peter R. Hunt original. Oh, that's

the nail in the coffin. Operation Bedlam is dead. I'd like to introduce you to Operation Bedcalf. Operation Bedfell. Oh, yes, now, okay. I did forget about this. It's a whole final action sequence.

Yes, and I'll tell you how I financed a scene that we had completely run out of budget with moments ago. Yeah, well, we didn't try to. The studio tried to end the movie with the scene you just saw. Well, you are the studio. Yeah, and what I tried to do was stop the movie. Yes. And what you did was continue the movie.

I said, listen, I've got an idea. That casino game I invented, Blanco, Blanco, Blanco, we're going to sell the rights to the Bellagio. Wasn't it Blanco, Blanco, Blanco? Yes. Blanco, Blanco, Blanco was your father's game. Bank, bank, bank. So we did.

We got negotiations with the Bellagio in Las Vegas. They loved the game because it didn't have any discernible rules, so the house could win even more than usual. But rich people loved this allure of a confidence game that involved beautiful women getting in over their skis, as it is. And we managed to use the funds from that licensing deal to pay for this final sequence and I regret nothing. Did I introduce a horrible new chapter

into the Americans' obsession with gambling addiction? Yeah, I did. Undeniably. Did I worsen a societal problem that has unfairly been exploited by casinos onto the most vulnerable members of our society look it happened yeah and what happened happened and you shouldn't be judged for it i just want to say because the trade-off is this fucking cool helicopter so this guy blowfeld he's been so

protective of all the information everything that happens in the allergy center oh yeah he's locking everyone behind no one can come in no one can come come out. And then, you know, he's taken Tracy, prisoner. She got caught in the avalanche. He's taken her back up and he's sort of been like, I'm going to make you my wife if you want. And she's like, no, that's not for me. And then all of a sudden, you've got these unsanctioned helicopters flying through.

Yes. Which he notices, gets on the comms and says, hey, get the fuck out of my airspace. I just feel like he'd be on such high alert and then as soon as he's given half a reason to not look into these helicopters. This is my brilliant screenwriting though. In this ad that I stitched on on the fly, they just call themselves the Red Cross as any hero would do.

Claim to be a totally politically neutral medic coming onto the battle scene. Just tell everyone you're the Red Cross and then when they're not looking, you shoot them. It is kind of how Switzerland governed itself through a couple of world wars and did nothing but burnish their reputation. Super heroic.

Sometimes the strongest stance you can take is not a stance at all. And then you shoot them. It's a silent position of neutrality and hey if you've got some saves which can you know store nazi bullion gold ah well the better what a what a happy coincidence yeah gold's gold doesn't have a political alliance gold's neutral as i've always said, banco, banco, banco. So,

after being told by MI6 and the UN that the matter's... I'm actually more interested to explore this new direction you're taking cars, if I may, just while we're sort of getting into the meat and potatoes of... I mean, look, long story short, there's a lot of talk in some helicopters for a while, so we'll let them have at it.

Okay. Tell me more about this Cars 3. Could you see a Cars 4 happening? Well, it sort of depends. Has Lightning McQueen taken out Elon Musk? Like, does he actually murder him? Cars 4, and this is where I'm worried that it becomes a little bit derivative of the Fast and the Furious franchise, but most of it's set in space. Wow.

Yeah. So basically, Lightning McQueen and Elon Musk get into a standoff at SpaceX HQ, and Lightning McQueen points out the, well, the irony, or not even the irony, but the hypocrisy in sort of trying to create a world that is built around electric vehicles when you're still using fossil fuels to pretty much entertain yourself in space. And Elon's not willing to hear it.

So he sends himself up. So Lightning's pretty much left by himself at SpaceX. And that's where the movie ends. It's a cliffhanger. So he figures out how to get himself into space and then all of a sudden you've got a car and a person in space. Okay. This is the one thing we didn't want to have happen.

Almost, yeah. And, I mean, there's possibilities. Yeah. They could go to Mars. They could come across, you know, various different other characters from other intellectual properties. Maybe E.T. hosts them. Maybe Elon call home, phone home, whatever you want to say. But we just haven't really gotten that far yet. So Elon is sort of a blowfoul to Lightning McQueen's James Bond,

where they are a… To use a Bond analogy, 100%, yeah. It's a necessary evil for one another. Sort of the Joker and Batman, you know, one can't exist without the other being there. So Lightning can never fully kill Elon because then he would lose his whole reason for being. Yeah, well, I guess it's sort of, you know,

the damage Elon has done to people like Lightning McQueen is it's sort of you know the damage elon has done to people like lightning mcqueen is um it's already taken seed you know that's already growing the uh the electric vehicle movement is slowly you know gaining ground on eventually will make petrol cars obsolete and it doesn't matter if you kill elon musk now it doesn't matter if you kill him in space but people know about electric vehicles and um that's the way that society seems to be moving so yeah i think lightning mcqueen's got a big battle on his hands and how how exactly he chooses to address that and whether or not he's willing to reform the way he thinks about it and sort of use what he knows is a petrol-driven car to help other cars. It's just, it's all up for grabs.

Still looking for a director, I will say that. Could be a person, could be a ghost. I will say that. That's what I want to hear. That is what I want to hear, Cubby. Right, so back to the task at hand this was a really fun scene to direct um we've got a bunch of kids dressed up as henchmen coming out of a helicopter on a mountainside uh penetrating the lair of blofeld a lot of gunfights um

quite a dangerous sort of operation to have children in charge of all these firearms. Of course, this predates prop guns even being a thing in cinema. This was 1969, of course. That guy still has that metal ring around his head. Yes. We used a different guy to fall down the stairs. That's right. Two guys.

Two guys, one character. Now, this is something that George Lazenby actually fought for in his contract. He said, I want, in one shot of the movie, for me to be flying down a mountainside on my front shooting a gun. Yeah. Like some sort

of murderous luge. George, your t-shirt will get wet, you know, and you're not going to slide well. And then from behind his back, he pulled out sort of one of those canteen plastic lunch trays, and he said, I'll slide on this. And we said, yeah, we'll shoot it. We can't promise it's going to be in the movie.

I don't think it's going to work. But shit, it looked cool. It looked so fucking cool. We were so wrong. Yeah, we had to hold production so everyone could have a turn doing that. And everyone got to fire a live gun while they were doing it yep lost one more kid down that luge though on the lunchbox lid which was sad

but you know after the first 800 it sort of drops in the bucket yeah we're not technically allowed to say that, but it certainly does have that effect. Pretty cool special effects being employed here. We had a melted bit of glass after one of the crazed chemists starts throwing vats of acid at James Bond. I just love that look that Lazenby gives the glass, as if to say, what are you, melted glass? Yeah, hey, not looking so sharp now.

No, it doesn't really work. Kind of does. Ah, what if he poked his head through it and he said, ah, I can see clearly now. The acid is gone. Tell you what, those quips, man, they're harder than they look. Yeah, it's hard to come up with a quip in real time. So, Bon now, he's a bit of an obsessive.

While the UN and MI6 are pretty happy to let the entire fact that Blofeld is going to control all of humanity slide, Bon's taking photos of a world map, which is further details as to how Blofeld plans on deploying his allergy queens. I believe in the movie they're called angels of death. That's right. Yeah, that's what Blofeld calls them. I want to bring back those cameras.

Those little sort of flat cameras. We kind of like snap them back and forward to take a photo. You like that? They've got like a moving mechanical bit with the sort of two halves and you fold it in together and it goes, takes the photo. Like that's cool, man. Yeah, that is cool. So we've got some Jeopardy now.

Draco, he saved his daughter. They've done their work, they're all going to evacuate the allergy centre and Bond is still at risk here, he's chasing Blofeld, it just seems unbelievable to people who maybe have never seen this movie before

but know what Bond is it's such a core component of the plot it's about an allergy centre by the most devious villain in the Bond universe, Blofeld. But it's also, at the same time, it's such a well thought through. It's great. It's really great. Sound and tight plot line.

I really have to give props to Ian Fleming, of course. Don't we all. For writing the book. Man earned us a lot of money. But also to Richard Mybarm who did the screenplay As I say I was a pretty significant contributor as well but didn't manage to get a screenwriting credit. Yeah that was my call. Much to my

chagrin And your shit grin as I remember. My shit eating grin writing credit. Yeah, that was my call. Much to my chagrin. And your shit grin, as I remember. And my shit-eating grin as I wielded my power over you, you bag of shit. I don't know where that came from. I am so sorry. I'm a ghost. I let bygones be bygones. I just tried to pat you on the back.

My hand passed right through your body. Here we go. The famous bobsled chase sequence. Now this sequence sequence i was actually told later uh served as the inspiration for a film franchise called cool runnings that's right which is pretty it's just nice to have a legacy, you know, to leave a legacy for other filmmakers to build upon. It came from the idea that what if John Candy coached a bunch of people from Jamaica how to drive a bobsled? John Candy came up with that.

After watching this? Yeah. He's brought it up in many, many interviews. Those interviews aren't around anymore is the only thing, so you can't look them up. But rest assured, it's true. He was a funny guy, John Candy. Gone before his time.

He would have been a good Bond, I think. He would have been a funny Bond. Oh, yeah, grenades. None of grenades in movies at the moment, moment for my liking they've really sort of lost favor but so who was the who was the evil genius who designed the first grenade like what a you know what a cool weapon yeah like a ball a ball that explodes i imagine it started with you know your classic cartoon

light a fuse throw a big metal thing containing shrapnel and gunpowder and then some some smarty was like hey what if we put a pin on it

yeah what if we made that a real thing nothing more stressful than opening your grenade and your bobsled and having it rattling around in front of you

hold on for a second Cubby I mean they were real. That's where the cartoon got the idea. It wasn't vice versa. No, no, no. They got the idea from a cartoon. The concept of a bomb was first in the cartoons, and then someone went, I'm going to create a grenade version of this.

Same thing for anvils, for sticks of dynamite, for coyotes and roadrunners. They didn't exist. All came about because of cartoons. The more you know. That's why they got so many in Los Angeles, those coyotes and roadrunners they didn't exist all came about because of cartoons the more you know that's why they got so many in los angeles of those coyotes because they love the flicks yeah some people told me that this bobsleigh scene went on for too long after the cinema going audience had already sat down for a casual two hours and a quarter of james bond but i say go fuck yourself it's my money you know my directorial debut in the james bond franchise it was really incumbent on me to put my own

personal stamp on this movie so true a lot of movies nowadays will have a big action sequence and then quite a lot of falling action as they sort of resolve a lot of the more um interpersonal plot points but it's a real testament to you and the unique um calling card that you left on this film that you said no it will be action until the very last yeah yeah here's what i want for my rhythm action sex action light comedy light romance exposition action action action sadness and i want people to leave the cinema at that that final moment just before the credits roll, going, what did I just watch? Didn't feel like a James Bond movie to me.

I would say, no, it was a Peter R. Hunt movie. Great little plug for Hennessy fantastic brandy, really top shelf stuff that product mention paid for this latter bit of the film actually quick mention of Hennessy in there

instructing a St Bernard to go and fetch you Hennessy is a pretty cool thing to do when you've almost died on the mountain isn't it? And having that St Bernard actually retrieve the Hennessy is a pretty cool thing to do when you've almost died on the mountain, isn't it? And having that St. Bernard actually retrieve the Hennessy, well, that just about takes the cake. So, and so it happens that Bond and Tracy are married. Oh, yeah. I'm not sure if, for the people who are just following along

on our audio commentary only, we quite made this explicit enough, but James Bond did sign up to marry tracy and then renounced his allegiance to the british secret service so that he could be a full dedicated husband and not a secret agent who has a wife on the side that's right money penny is devastated both personally and professionally m and q are both in attendance at the wedding we've got a cake cutting ceremony unfolding right now. Oh wait, M's not here, but Q is. Draco's henchmen are there,

including the very first fight scene that Bond has in the movie. Isn't that a nice button? It's a lovely touch. This is where Franco tries to make good on his initial offer to give James Bond a million dollars to fuck the ever-loving shit out of his daughter as his lawfully wedded wife.

And Bond says, I'll be having sex on my own time. And my own dime. He doesn't say that, but that would have been a good quip. Actually, it's a good punch-up. Yeah. Q giving him the nod of approval there. This is a great instance of not just you, but the screenwriters hoping to leave their own sort of indelible,

unique creative mark on the franchise by marrying off Bond and entirely changing the trajectory of the franchise. And it's one that I signed off on and everyone more or less agreed to throughout the entire making of the movie. And quickly regretted upon its release. Yeah. All it took was the very first reviewer to do his dastardly work in his grubby little paper and type out his little words and send it to his disgusting little printer

and distribute it via his yucky little paper boy onto people's horrible little doorsteps. And we were sunk. I love that wave Lazenby gives Moneypenny, as if to say, maybe another time. I don't intend on being married for very long. Au revoir, of course, French for good luck. James Bond being showered in flowers as he leaves his own wedding

in the marital vehicle beautiful ceremony that is easily $10,000 worth of flowers in this shot alone yeah when you're James Bond money is no object but when you're financing these movies it really is we couldn't afford to get flowers so basically we shot this wedding

in Portugal and we just got a bunch of Portuguese kids and, well, we hung them up like flowers. Luckily, the Portuguese court system is not exactly the strongest institution in the world, so when people tried to take us to court for child labour law violations, we said, sure, see you in Portuguese court. We, of course, don't speak Portuguese, so none of the claims or accusations held water, and the cases were thrown out. That beautiful one-and-a-half words, probably the sweetest in the English language, mistrial.

So, happily ever after for our James Bond. He's been through a lot. I believe this is his seventh outing on the big screen. Ian Fleming bringing a beautiful conclusion by partnering up with a woman who's finally won his heart for good after as many trysts, romantic encounters, and unavoidable venereal disease. He's had more venereal diseases than we've had hot dinners. But by God, the guy got away with it.

He sure did. And now his unsuspecting wife, whom he has yet to deflower, is about to get a swift lesson in the powerful pharmaceutical abilities of penicillin. Of penicillin. But what's this? Blofeld is alive, and so is the frowl. Frowl-ine?

Bunt. She does have a frowl like she's always frowning more importantly she's got a submachine gun which she just loaded into james bowen's car while he was tying his shoelace or something outside and in a harrowing end to the film and the marriage james bond literally does not know how to process his grief as his newlywed wife has been shot dead in cold blood. Caught one right between the eyes. And he does not know what to do. I mean, this is...

A passing police officer's just come into... I mean, this is the emotional high-water mark of James Bond to this date, I would say. He says, it's quite all right, really. She's having a little rest to the police officer. We'll be going on soon. I would say. He says, it's quite all right, really. She's having a little rest to the police officer. We'll be going on soon. He simply doesn't know how to process what's going on.

And fair enough, too. You can't imagine. Cubby, in retrospect, was this sort of vulnerability and emotional depth to bond this fragility? Was this something that we put a foot wrong? I really like we captured the fragility, but I do think that there was an element of a lack of self-belief in marrying him and then so quickly undoing the marriage and sort of just callously killing off his wife.

Apparently that didn't sit well with me. It was a move that I believe How I Met Your Mother drew a lot of inspiration from when Barney finally got well with me. It was a move that I believe How I Met Your Mother drew a lot of inspiration from when Barney finally got together with Robin ever so briefly and then they broke up. And on that note, our credits roll,

our audience dissipates from the cinema and Cubby and I take a deep and deserved bow soaking in the accolades afforded to us for this fantastic film 1969's On Her Majesty's Secret Service. That's right. We hope you enjoyed the film and we hope you enjoyed our company. I mean, it was a lot of fun to revisit and honestly, it watches better than I remember.

Oh yeah, great for it. It's a piece of work I'm proud of. You really did. And might I say, I do feel like you, in several ways, left your unique creative stamp on this film, which I don't know if that's something

you're trying for at all, but it's something you've succeeded in doing. Well, sometimes you just trip over these things. At any rate, I'm off to go haunt some Portuguese kids now.

That sounds horrible. Catch you later, cubby.