The Worst Idea Of All Time - DIRECTOR'S COMMENTARY (THREE)

Episode Date: August 10, 2017

Did Guy ever tell you about the time he saw Liza Minnelli perform Beyonce's smash hit single Single Ladies in Sex and The City 2? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Peloton all-access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running. Today. You ready? Okay, let's go. The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer. Everybody run! Ends here.

This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands, now playing. You gonna play that dastardly intro again? Ow! This movie's still fine. This is a co-ed pasta. One of them dies, they go screw.

One of them's a hottie, his name is Jay. One of them looks like Johnny Depp, and his name is Johnny Depp. Classic Maximum Joseph. Agree. Ah. You forget that films are supposed to have a point. I'll tell you one thing for free. We're doing the movie again.

It's just started once more. We've got the Warner Brothers logo. And the Studio Canal indent. Here we go again and i don't think i'm in any state to bring in a guest to deliver this although uh maybe my friend and colleague guy montgomery will correct me on that fact but i'm pretty sure it's just going to be old timbo and guy guy taking you through the next watch of this film. We are your friends. 2015. Megan Oppenheimer co-wrote it.

And a man called Max Joseph co-wrote and directed it. And a man called Zac Efron starred in it. We're back in it. Here we are. Feels like the third time today. Couldn't honestly tell you what number it is. And a lot of close-ups on the face there's also a lovely wisp of smoke that's coming up which is just sort of a gentle reminder that this is in an era where vapes exist but no one's smoking like the dude's in his room by himself and yet we're still getting a little

what do you call smoke? A little like a, I don't know, a vapor of smoke or fucking whatever. I don't know. Weirdly, there's like kind of computer bits lying around. There's like a PC tower lying around. There's another screen I can see behind his head and random shots. It's a weird room. We're in a double bedroom.

And I don't think we've actually brought this up before but i think that cole and jahid share a bedroom though maybe i've got that wrong maybe they're both in the same room just because they're on this phone call at the start of the film on speakerphone to the to uh to inside man you remember inside man We've met him a few times now. He lives inside a club and he's never seen the outside of the club. Great guy. We all love him. But he's had very limited life experience.

And if you can't hear that laughter coming up on mic, guess what, everybody? Gun Montgomery's back in the house and he's carrying a few beers with him, which is a welcome addition to our environ currently. A lovely shot of Jar Dad in the background there sitting at the breakfast table chowing down on a bit of bricky and it reminds me that i haven't eaten in a few hours hey do you want a salad oh my god i forgot about the fucking salad i don't want to eat on mic though and there's no fork i got you dude that's that's Okay, we've got the salads backwards.

This is your salad. Oh, we got different salads? Yeah, we got different salads. That's crazy to me. Thanks. Hey, am I with Tim Batt? Is that who I'm with right now? You surely are.

You're joined by your friend Tim Batt. I wasn't sure if Tim Batt and Guy Montgomery would sort of have the nous to be able to find some guests to take us through a director's commentary. This looks impossible to eat. This salad looks insurmountable, to be honest. Oh, man. So,

we're near the top of the movie. Tell me about your bathroom voyage. We're sick of the movie now. We're not sick of the movie. We want hear about it the bathroom voyage was great i had a fantastic pee thank you uh so they want to make these guys look cool right these are djing sort of superfluous like friend friends of djs and the first way they try and do that to establish their coolness is they send them out with flyers to just hound people coming out of a university. That is not very cool at all. If anything, that looks annoying. I don't want some guy giving me a flyer to come watch him play music in a room.

I think this is a particular point of sensitivity for us because we have had to fly before We've been those dudes Not for a cool music gig But for our own terrible comedy Excellent comedy Excellent comedy shows It definitely says gig

Why would you get the words gig tattooed on your fingers Jarhead It doesn't make any sense to me You look ridiculous. Don't you tell me to shut up, Johnny Depp. I'll talk when and as I must. Hey, dog. No, I told you to shut up just so we're all cool. Johnny Depp just shushed me straight down the fucking barrel, dude.

He looked into my eyes. He put his finger up to his mouth, and he whispered the sound, shh. He does it every week. Is me eating this salado okay? Yeah, it's all good, man. But I just think what we're doing is crazy. Why are we watching this movie again? Man.

Doesn't make sense. None of what we're doing here makes any sense to me. This salad, surprisingly good. It looked like it was going to be pretty tasty. Way better than I was expecting, actually. No, take the whole thing. It's messy. You take the whole thing.

Okay, no worries. All right. thing it's messy you take the whole thing okay no worries all right spindly timbly wimbley is full of food and he's he's back on so what have we got for this director's commentary we got a movie we are in an la diner our four boys are pouring over the pages of a los angeles property magazine trying to figure out what their next port of call is. They're going to find a house, move in, claim it as their own bit of territory, have a lot of house parties there,

become the neighbors that everyone hates, but are drawn in by the surrounding areas because it is the center of call. And I'll tell you what they're going to do? Drugs. And I'll tell you what else they're going to do? Fight some dudes. And I'll tell you what else they're going to do fight some dudes i'll tell you what else they're going to do 60 world relations with multiple people boys girls

everything everything you can think of the pool they're going to swim naked in it why because they consider that having sex with the swimming pool is that fair i don't know it's what i think as well it's like arguable no man are you having sex with a swimming pool if you're swimming it naked? Yeah. If you come into it, then yeah. Right? Otherwise, you're just having a swim. No, no.

No, I know a lot about swimming pools. Paige is here. And his partner? Doesn't really get a look in his partner no but she's wearing red and that's always fun it's a fun colour

red man you're really putting some fun emphasis into your words I can't wait for you and me to walk everyone through the experience

of watching this movie Where Are Your Friends an experience with which I'm not even familiar I don't think I've seen this movie before. I can't wait to find out what becomes of these characters. Tim, have you seen this movie before? Not to my knowledge.

You haven't? Not in my right mind have I seen this film. Then me oh my, aren't we in luck. We get to experience a movie together for the first time on microphone. Amazing. Okay, so what are we dealing with here? We're in Los Angeles.

There's four dudes. They kind of look like we could know these dudes. They're our age, is what I'm trying to say. Yeah, roughly. But not in the movie. They're a bit younger. But then they always get older people to act like younger people in movies. Oh, my God.

We're old. Nah, you're right, man. We're too old for us to be having in a film. That barely made sense. Do you know what I'm getting at? Are you saying you're too old to be in a movie? I'm too old to have a character my age be in a movie. Nah, you're not.

Well, this movie. Yes. I don't think this movie's the marker for anything good, though, is it? If you're too old to be depicted in this film, congratulations. You're outside of the Venn diagram of their marketing scheme. You're outside of the blast radius of who this is relevant for,

which is a tremendous thing. Look, I've got to say, Max Mimjosev, if somehow you are listening to this particular episode of our podcast, let the record show that what we're saying is not in any way meant to be mean-spirited or directed at you i would like to echo that but without the giggle that guy

had in the middle of it because i mean that genuinely we did we the whole the whole here's the listen up everybody grab a pen here's the thing about our podcast the whole point is supposed to be we're the idiots for doing this it's not the people for making the film films are hard they're collaborative it's very easy to fuck up making a film you sound very condescending my friend but well i imagine i haven't made one but the thing is this podcast isn't about going this film's terrible even though it may sound like that a lot of the time it's about going tim and guy are silly men for continuing to watch a film yeah so also if you're listening maximum joseph we're sorry for being that mean but we're not condoning what you did i like do you know how we've decided to do a director's commentary? It's our commentary to the director of the film.

Yeah, man. To the director, a commentary. Yeah. I appreciate your ambition. This fucking dude. He's the only character I think we've invented in this who deserves a spinoff as Clubman. Yeah.

Clubman. Yeah, yeah. Clubman. Yeah, he is a funny guy. To be born and raised in a club. This DJ, according to IMDB, is meant to be famous. Yeah, surely they all are. I guess so. I guess that's who... Aspiring DJ is meant to watch this movie, right?

Yeah, yeah, totally. And outside of that, who else is meant to watch it? Aspiring DJs are meant to watch this movie, right? Yeah, yeah, totally. And outside of that, who else is meant to watch it? Aspiring creatives? Like, fuckboys? It's a good question. How many people are trying to be DJs? Is it enough to finance a film? I doubt that.

And if the bloody books are anything to go by... Definitely not. No, no sir. Here's Sarah again. I've only seen her 45 times before. And I'll tell you what, she looks great. Still keeping that trim figure I've always known her for In fact

I'd wager to bet she hasn't put on an ounce Or lost an ounce You look the same as the day I met you You haven't aged a day Johnny Weston His decisions with hats Questionable I've always forgiven James Reid's dance move here

Of taking his jacket off and swinging it around his head But in the cold hard sober light of day It is really Naff Tandem out to nothing It's weird you don't hear enough these days I think Naff Naff died

It ran its course Naff died an appropriate death Did anyone call say Naff enough these days. I think NAF. NAF died. It ran its course. NAF died an appropriate death. Did anyone call say NAF or was it just everyone's mum for a little bit? For our American listeners, NAF means uncool. I'm not sure that anyone

under 40 has ever said it. I just think it's NAF. The ironic thing about that word is that it's almost onomatopoeic in that it is what it describes. It's an ugly word, which is why it never took onomatopoeic and that it is what it describes it's an ugly word which is why it never took off i guess now this is another great moment and we are your friends where the soundtrack is doing all the heavy lifting absolutely they did pretty well to get

that confetti cannon slow motion shot yeah but also i guess it's a thing that does make sense but where they use the confetti cannon in the context of a DJ playing in a nightclub doesn't make any sense because this is like the low point of a song. They let it off before the actual drop, which is about to happen, and then they just fade out so that they can have a conversation. It's deeply unsatisfying in that regard. Wow. I didn't realize I was dealing with Calvin Harris this watch of the film.

Well, Tim, it's about time I told you. Calvin Harris is the DJ character I created. I am Calvin Harris. That blows my fucking head off. As well it should. The fact that I continue to do this with you is a huge mark of respect. Had a great point to make and it's gone now. I'll tell you that.

I'll tell you that one for free. Do you reckon I could do the Wristless Director's commentary with my teeth clenched? I think you can do anything you put your mind to. It puts a weird tone in your voice. Don't do it.

It makes me really uncomfortable. It's not good, is it? Because it's very tense. It makes you think of tension. Especially when you've got teeth sounds. It's a hard one. It's a very hard one

to get around, Guy. Guy Montgomery That's what you're Going to sound like In ten years Oh no Why am I going to Get locked jaw one day

And then never recover That's exactly What's going to happen Damn What a threat A threat from Old Father Time Guy Montgomery

That should be The next name Of your show Father Time Father Time It's quite good And the post is Just me with my dick in a clock doesn't even relate to a single joke you have in the show just guy montgomery presents father time

it'd be good i'd enjoy it anyway i'd buy a ticket man i think out of this circumstance you'd enjoy anything which isn't what we are currently doing. Correct. Oh, man, this fucking movie again, eh? Keeps presenting itself to us like a streaker in the park who hasn't learnt that no one cares what his junk looks like. This film is back again to reveal itself against its great coat but terrible undercarriage. You just keep talking and words just i've been there brother oh boy god so um hi everybody we're still here what's happening is guy is too fucked to talk james reed makes a description of a sigil weed, which is supposed to be reflective of our lives.

I resent the accusation. Fuck up for a second. I'm making a point. Where he says the very philosophical, it's not about making it last. It's about enjoying it. He's talking about mixing tobacco with marijuana and that, you know, we're here for a good time,

not a long time is basically the crux of what he's saying. But he worded it shitter. Well, also, he threw away a perfectly good joint, which I always find funny but disrespectful. Is it a joint if it's got tobacco in it, though? I don't know. It's a spliff. Yeah. Sure, it's a spliff.

Whatever it was, it was still good to go. This cunt is... Sorry. Drinking whiskey from a flask in the back of an Uber and there's something I actually enjoy about that. Yeah, it's an Uber Lux. I could see me doing that. You could see you doing that?

I've really curbed my drinking though recently. Good on you, man. No, no, no, not intentionally and i'm not proud of it yeah good on you no no it's terrible no it's it's it's all good it's neither good nor bad i'm not into it i want to get back on the wagon or off it fucking who has ever gotten to the bottom of how that saying works hey boy howdy gee willikers The painting's about to wink at us Which I have Respectfully always enjoyed

Yeah it's a cool moment It's like Oh you guys are having fun It's hard now It's genuinely impossible to know How I feel about what's happening in the movie Their hair is identical Look

If you look at their hairlines They've both got the same like Pokey uppy bits That's fucking That's wild man that is wild zace fron and zace fron never had a beard not that i've seen dude are you supplanting it on him in your own mind's photoshop yeah i was just then i think he wouldn't how did he turn out not bad he bad. He'd have to work pretty hard to fuck it up. He's hot. You think that, but some people get real patchy beards.

Yeah. You know, some people can't pull off the holes. And maybe he's given it a go away from the cameras and it hasn't worked out and he learned his lesson. Plus, his image is sort of a bit of a clean cut dude. Yeah, but people love mucking around with their images. Oh boy, do they. They love subverting them. Living their lives.

Living la vida loca. As an inspirational figure in my life and yours once said. Was that Enrique Iglesias? I am of course talking about Enrique Iglesias' father, Lionel Richie. Lionel motherfucking Richie. Sorry. Lionel Richie. Great guy

Father to one person I know of And that's Nicole This party scene's kinda cool This is an example of big ambitions Not kind of being fully realised I'll tell you what though A cartoon sequence with rotoscope To illustrate what a drug experience feels like

It always gets me And I don't know which came first, my opinion or this fact from IMDb, but on the trivia section of the We Are Your Friends IMDb page, it says the rotoscope scene is critically acclaimed or well-recognized or something praising it. Critically acclaimed is a bold turn of phrase for one scene in a movie. Yeah, that's true.

Well, it was praised, maybe. The rotoscope scene was praised. Sounds like a potential sentence. Yeah, it's good. And I don't know if I enjoyed it before I read that sentence or if I've only enjoyed it since. It's the power of critics, eh? Yeah, I don't mind it.

What an interesting fucking tidbit. It is one of those... My God, this movie has reduced me to a puddle sir We are plumbing the depths now But I mean What I wanted to say was Nothing interesting I've taken a long time to

Articulate the point that it's like a music video Which is probably something we say every fucking week Or something I don't even give a shit anymore I don't even give a damn Looking. I don't even give a damn. Looking at a lot of empty pills in this. Those lights are harsh, eh? Do you want one of these beers? Oh, always, mate.

It says beer on it, so you know it's quality. It's the truth. Pretense of eternity tour. Like, fuck me, eh? Yeah, fuck you, dude. Calpable. Oh, I didn't... Okay, let me do...

You're right. I'm just resetting... I'm resetting a timer. Guy's resetting a timer and I've got to update all of my people who aren't friends with Guy on how our current process is tracking. How is your process tracking, Tim?

I feel like neither of us are really firing on all cylinders anymore. Well, you can only fire on all cylinders for x amount of time and when that time is gone you know what are you firing on then uh you're what you're walking in memphis i'm walking on sunshine and it's time to feel good because i haven't felt good for a long time, so surely it's time now. It is now time. They've got a good little espresso machine in there.

String some sand, pal. There's more fruit than I'll ever get through. Guy, shut the fuck up. No, no, no, no. You can't get away with just describing what is visually infamous. Let me finish, please. I was feeling good about my updates, actually. I was thinking, you know, this is all relevant and interesting stuff.

This is what's in the kitchen. They've always got more fruit than they could possibly eat unless they juice cleanse. Hey, there's always bananas in the banana stand. Gotcha. That's all I'm here to do now. Just try and make guy crack. That was pretty good. Dunker.

Sheeran is my name. Wes Bentley's got a real piercing stare. What did you think of the movie American Beauty? Have you seen it? Yeah, I did. Ages and ages ago. It was probably one of the first films, to be honest, that turned me on to Kevin Spacey. Because I'm a young man. And that was sort of my introduction to him and then i guess i took a long

or i saw a couple movies oh i saw that fucking one where he plays a teacher at mit of a professor of mathematics who goes to vegas with his students and like oh yeah yeah get burning down the house or something sure we'll go with that yeah yeah another one that movie was not as good as the trailer suggested it would be but still like it was a good it's you know i read movies fine on a plane i read the book of that movie how was the book it was exactly the same experience as the movie like in principle it was sort of interesting looking. And then it was so empty, the experience was like, well, that was a fucking kind of interesting story,

pretty poorly told. Yeah, the elevator pitch is fantastic. It's just like, listen, you know how Vegas fucks everyone? Well, these nerdy MIT mathematics students learned a way to fuck Vegas. And you're going to see the story unfold in front of your eyes, either by words or pictures, depending on if you read the book or saw the film. Sometimes, both simultaneously.

On how they fucked them. And then you kind of see it and it's like, oh, yeah. I guess you're right. Good enough. Close enough is good enough. Yeah. The Valley.

We're back. Pretty uninspiring view. It's just you and me, Valley. We spent a little bit of time in the valley, didn't we, Guy? We've been to the valley before. Did we go to a party in the valley? Possibly. Oh, yeah.

Wasn't that the time we were in that car with that chick who was fucking drunk as and going entirely too fast? Do you remember what I'm talking about? Don't name her. I think her name was Kate. I vaguely remember being very scared in a car with someone else driving it. There's an added tension

where you're going to a country that drives on the opposing side of the road to the one that you've been brought up on. So you're at a base level of a little bit tense. And then this woman, we thought was kind of fine. Apparently, no. She'd had a lot to drink and she was driving real quick.

And I was nervous. Yeah. It's fair to be nervous when you get into a car with someone who's been drinking. I think everyone made a bad decision that night. But then we went to Malibu and we had a great time. Great anecdote. Well told. Go the mighty boys.

Forever and ever. And always. Fuck me dead. I think we might have pushed ourselves one step too far. Absolutely not. Once more by going through the three-peat. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Absolutely not.

The reigning champs. Here we go. Dude, we're here and we're ready to boogie and we're ready to claim our ground director's commentary and go welcome ladies and gentlemen to we are your friends tam and guy here to take you through a film that has continued to challenge us every single week we're not going to fuck around with you we're going to bring you right into the start of the actual film which is our introduction to page the secret but very real main character of this film who is page i hear you ask well i've told you many weeks all in a row but

i'll tell you again he is the true father figure gandalf the gray if you will of this movie he loves high finance he loves getting money he loves beautiful woman and he loves getting money, he loves beautiful women, and he loves having people under him who he can boss around. He's an alpha. He struts around telling everyone he hates paper and he hates computers and he loves numbers, but only some numbers, because not all numbers will make you money, but the kind that he's dealing with, and property, and diamond fucking, that will make you rich. Why does he have a baseball bat all the time? He's vaguely threatening.

I forgot to tell you that before, but this guy gets tailored shirts and baseball bats, and he wears both of them at all times, like a goddamn fashion accessory. He'll throw money at you if you start to question him while you're there so that he can keep you on the hook. In the business, we call that hook money, because that hooks you into sticking around,

and then you get hooked when this dude fucking punches you in the face for not making you enough money to bring in the next poor schmucks to continue this pyramid scheme he's a top of. Am I right or am I right? Oh, you are correct, my friend. And now these fucking plebeians who he's just hired think it's a good idea to sniff the money he put in an envelope for them. Guys, have you seen Paige? That guy fucks around with drugs and money 24-7. You're pretty much sniffing his asshole or nostril. Either way, it's not a good idea.

You're going to get sick. You're going to get pink eye. Whoa, sniffing someone's nostril is just probably the way it is. By far the worst image I've had in a bit, dude. A couple of weeks at least. Don't worry. No, no, no. I'm here, so we're all here now.

Sniffing someone's nostril. What the fuck? That is... That is visceral. Yeah, I guess if you go into the actual physical mechanics of it, it's a challenge. But the idea of it being, if you sniff an open note, you're sniffing up someone's nose. You'd find that uncomfortable. I know no one can hear it because probably no one's watching the movie at the time.

But this track, which they cut away from way too quick, I fucking dig. And now we're off to another fucking song that I like way less. Yeah, Wes Bentley's holding court and everyone's looking at him like he's interesting that's this film ain't no confidence it's just like pick a thing and stick to it pick one song that you think is good and stick to it don't it's about d it's about d jang they have to cut away from songs there's literally the pursuit of the main character like not within a scene though you don't have to you could just pick if you're like do you know what this movie uh sorry this music this track this song is what we call it when it's music but one film this track insider info may not have done tremendously when it came out on the charts

but it responds to something in my soul and vice versa and i know it's great and i know that if i bring it to the people they will respond in kind the people who are my intended audience for this film but instead the music supervisor's gone just fucking get a bunch of get a bunch of shit give it 20 seconds each cast that net super fucking wide because this movie sucks we need to draw in as many people and friends of DJs as we can. That's where they're at. They're relying on people who are personally putting tracks into the film to come and see the movie. That is such a small market.

And also all of those people will be used to and expect comps. So I don't even see how then you can expect to get any turnover of bums on seats. Just to let you guys know, comps is an industry term for complimentary tickets, which means they're free. It's when you get invited to go to something for free. Not everybody knows that. They do now.

Yeah. Everybody listens to this podcast, and you just informed everybody. It's a pleasure to have someone so wise in the ways of the world on board this is a pretty good one too as an ignoramus, someone who knows very little about the ways of the world, I sort of look to you as a guiding light

someone who I can turn to in a time of need or ignorance the fluorescent lights that are on in the studio are harsh I hadn't really looked at it that way before, Tim, but now that you've put it in that light. Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, nice. I've got to say, I agree completely. But I don't know how to... I don't know if we'll ever use it, but we're recording a couple of pictures as well while we're doing this, and they require light, so it's a tricky... You don't need to hear any of this.

I hadn't really thought about it like that, Tim, but I agree. These You don't need to hear any of this. I hadn't really thought about it like that, Tim, but I agree. These people don't need to hear any of this. I like that I can always look to you as a source of wisdom, light, and hope in my times of need. House sucks. We put it in the movie so we could take a big old steaming turd on it. Then there's hardcore. It exists too.

Stabby Red Shorts, man. You love the Stabby Red Shorts, man. Fucking love them. You've always liked them. turd on it then there's hardcore it exists too stabby red shorts man you love this you've always liked him you've always compared him to a friend of yours who would move a stick at a death metal concert or something you've always been able to like kind of climb in there and experience it with him i just had a bunch of friends who ruined a death metal at high school i think it's a composite a bunch A bunch of mates of mine. Oh, my God. This guy can DJ. This guy's got some skills.

It's a slow zoom into James Reid's face, everyone, while Zicoli's on the decks, just to, you know, put you in the room with us. And now So Millie's dancing in slow motion. Super slow motion of So Millie dancing. It's not super slow, is it? It's pretty slow. And then some sort of classical renaissance art of the gods with the word myth to suggest that anyone speculates over the exact number

at which you can synchronize a human's heartbeat with another human's heartbeat. They got one thing right about this film and that is the importance of music because Sex and the City 2 was devoid of a banger. Not a single one. Liza Minnelli's show-stopping turn of Beyonce's All the Single Ladies has and will always give me a real kick in the heel,

give me up on my toes, keep me dancing around the room. Maybe the first time you heard it. But that love affair. For 52 weeks I've never felt better Than when I would hear Liza Minnelli perform

Beyonce's smash hit Single Ladies That love affair Of that performance Quickly faded And I know Because I saw you experiencing it Alongside you

I remember Perfectly But this movie You know The soundtrack Do you want to know My 52 favourite memories Tim? Yeah

Go on The first memory is The first time I heard Liza Minnelli This movie, you know, the soundtrack. Do you want to know my 52 favorite memories, Tim? Yeah, go on. The first memory is the first time I heard Liza Minnelli perform Beyonce's smash hit, All the Single Ladies in the film Sex and the City 2. My second life highlight is the second time I heard Liza Minnelli perform Beyonce's smash hit, All the Single Ladies in the movie Sex and the City 2. Beyonce's smash hit All the Single Ladies in the movie Sex and the City 2. My third life highlight was when I saw Liza Minnelli perform Beyonce's smash hit All the Single Ladies in the film Sex and the City 2. My fourth life highlight was when I saw Liza Minnelli perform Beyonce's smash hit single

All the Single Ladies in the film sex in the city 2 my fifth life highlight was when i saw liza minnelli perform beyonce's smash hit all the single ladies in the film sex in the city 2 my sixth life highlight thank you for asking that would be when i saw liza minnelli perform beyonce's smash hit all the single ladies in the film sex in the city 2 my seventh life highlight i thought we wouldn't get around to it is actually when i saw liza minnelli perform beyonce's smash hit all the single ladies in sex in the city 2 my eighth life highlight that would be when i saw um liza minnelli herself perform beyonce from destiny's child beyonce knoll smash hit single all the single ladies in sex in the city 2 my ninth life highlight at a stretch probably when i saw liza minnelli perform beyonce's smash hit all the

single ladies in the film sex in the city 2 my 10th life highlight if i can go back that far would be when i saw liza minnelli perform beyonce's smash hit single all the single ladies and the critically maligned unjustly in my opinion sex in the city 2 the sequel to the first sex in the city film sex in the city my 11th life highlight would be when i saw liza minnelli perform beyonce single which was a smash hit at the time all the single ladies in the film Sex and the City 2. My 12th life highlight would be when I saw Liza Minnelli perform Beyonce's smash hit single, All the Single Ladies in Sex and the City 2.

My 13th life highlight would be when I saw Liza Minnelli perform Beyonce Noz's smash hit single, All the Single Ladies in Sex and the City 2. My 14th life highlight would be when I saw, do you want to guess who? Do you want to name her? Liza Minnelli's smashing performance of Beyonce's smash hit single, All the Single Ladies in Sex and the City 2. My 15th life highlight would be when I saw Liza Minnelli

perform Beyonce's single. Do you want to guess which single? All the single ladies in the film Sex and the City 2. So, here we are legs dangling into the looking pool. My 17th life highlight?

Oh, okay. We were up to 16th, but please continue. What was your 16th life highlight? When I saw Liza Minnelli perform Beyonce's smash hit single, All the Single Ladies in Sex and the City 2. Let it never be corrected, folks. Comedy is timing. And that was perfect one three quarters

of one full beat there was the perfect amount of catch and release good on you go montgomery oh boy so here we are the boys wet and riding a car because it's the best place to be when you've just had a fight in a pool as megan oppenheimer herself would put it, wet and ready to forget. Wet and ready to forget. It's like an extension of wet and forget. A popular product right here in New Zealand, which is a... It's called The Sun. They're selling us The Sun. Yeah, hard

out. Go for a swim. You'll drive eventually. Buy some of The Sun. Look at Skrill's foppy hair. I saw a... I think I was just doing the rounds online recently a cover of time magazine from maybe like 1967 with the beatles on it yeah how'd they look like by modern standards they would not have made the grade and that's what i fucking loved about it, just a bunch of goofy looking dudes. Real goofy.

When was the cover? Bad hair, bad teeth, like weird faces. 67, I believe, yeah. They were already pretty popular then? Fuck, they probably were actually. Maybe it was earlier than that. But 67 juts out my head for some reason. It was like after the initial invasion,

Beatlemania into the states it was their return it was kind of their second tour but they were still very much like a boy band weren't they weren't they popular weren't they something didn't they do well it is um seriously kind of crazy to think that there'll probably never be another shared cultural experience on par with the beatles because we're so fractured now. Everyone's found their own little tribes and interests and things. Yeah.

I reckon. That was back in the days where, you know, there's three TV channels, there's five good movies out for the year, you can read one of two newspapers. You know, everything was a lot more, you know. We called a spade a spade and every second Thursday you'd fuck your mailbox with everyone else in the street. That's right. And you call called a spade a spade and every second Thursday you'd fuck your mailbox

with everyone else in the street. That's right. And you'd call that a spade as well even though it wasn't a spade but you'd call it a spade just so that you could hide your activities. What were you doing the other night, mate? Just messing around with the spade.

Everyone would know what coded language you were alluding to with that. You're putting your dick in a letterbox. On a weekly basis. Bi-weekly fortnightly does that mean male and female weeks hey oh that's so weak yeah look i'm just i'm scrambling for anything at this point no i hear you know how much money's written on that check? $1,200. You?

Sorry, this is James Reid paying. There's a cold lead for the DJ set he did at a daytime party. We've never found out how much he actually gets. Guy, go. I reckon it's $50,000. Come on, dude. Be real for a second. That's why I reckon...

You're silly. You're silly, Billy. $4,000. Truly? That's why I reckon... You're silly. You're silly, Billy. $4,000. Truly? That's too much. How much money do you think he has? He's not in a castle. He's in a nice LA apartment.

Well, not apartment. It is a house. I'll give him that. He's got a pool. He's not paying four grand. Like, that's not the kind of money where you just make shit up. Is it? No, you're probably right.

He's probably not paying him $4,000. It might even be way less than what I said. Diddly-do. I said $1,200. It might be like $5,000. That'd still be a fucking great paycheck for this guy. Yeah, but it's enough for him to be uncomfortable. So it's got...

$1,200, dog. He's fucking printing money over at the bloody Gold Star Realty Solutions factory. Dick full of diamonds, mouth full of concrete, put it together and flip it. Gold Star. That's the rant that they run on TV. The jingle guy fucked it up on the first take, but they couldn't afford to get a second take. Man. Good thing he's

such a good improviser impossible the first time you hear it you're like yeah that kind of makes sense the second time you hear it you're like hold on a second the third time you hear it like how is this still on the air they should have taken some of the money that they spent on keeping it on the air and put that towards the second take of the song yeah for the amount of airplay it's getting, you'd think someone would be able to redistribute that budget. But alas.

Hey, the movie's still going, everybody. Just want to give you a quick update on that. And I'll tell you what's happening. We're still in the studio that we were talking about before.

You know, Zac Efron's got free reign to this thing while Max Joseph fucks his girlfriend. I say the fact that this is the third time we've watched this movie

in a row and at no point have we... Oh, okay. Pull back the curtain. The cat's out of the bag. You fucked up, guy. We have been watching the film while Megan Oppenheimer

and Max Joseph were in here. We were watching it in a different room so we'd stay up to speed with what was going on. Same screen, different room. You do the math. But yeah, go on. Inability to really engage with it

on a long-term storytelling basis is damning. What is... It's like trying to engage with tissue paper, dude. You cut right through it. Like, what is there to process here? It's just Zac Efron's pretty face. That's the film. Here's what we're going to do. Get some EDM tricks on Zac Efron's pretty face that's the film here's what we're

going to do get some EDM tracks and Zac Efron's face I'm looking forward to when Zac Efron's old

enough to be in romantic comedies where he's he's like a husband to someone oh he's there I reckon he's

just there now no way like I'm talking about but isn't he that in Neighbours Salt and Pepper what's that called no he's a

he's a frat boy in Bad Neighbours no the second one I thoughtepa. What's that called? No, he's a frat boy in Bad Neighbors. No, the second one. I thought he... He's still young. Oh, is he still young? Okay. No, like Salt-N-Pepa, Zac Efron.

Dude. Trying to keep a family together. You're so right. Trying to keep a relationship together. Whatever it is, I want it. Zac Efron is the natural heir to the George Clooney throne. Questions, comments, commendations. Is he ready to sit down?

You tell me he's ready to sit down with the big boys? One hundo, dude. I don't know who's going to become the new Brad Pitt, but do you know what I want to see from the pair of them? A fucking Ocean's Eleven reboot, dog. At the 30-year anniversary of their reboot. You want more Ocean's Eleven. I want... No, I don't want more Ocean's Eleven

I want Ocean's Eleven again But different So I don't want Ocean's like 15 Or whatever we're up to Ocean's Eleven's being made with With a An all woman cast Right now

Is that true? That's true There's a photo of them on a subway somewhere Who's in it? It's an all-star cast. I can't remember the details. Can't remember a single one. You misogynist.

I think Rihanna. Really? Yeah. I'm pretty sure. Not even an actor by traditional standards. She was in a movie on a boat that wasn't under siege. That narrows it down. Was it Speed 2? No, and it also wasn't under siegege? That narrows it down. Was it Speed 2?

No, and it also wasn't under Siege 2. Was it Titanic? Not that I know of. Was it Overboard? No. With Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn? Was it Battleships? Have you ever seen Overboard?

No. Overboard's got... They did an original soundtrack theme song for it, and it is Fucking excellent I encourage everyone listening I don't know how I stumbled upon it I

I have no idea how I stumbled upon it the first time But as soon as I heard it I was like this thing Is excellent And you know how much I love movie soundtrack Music Yeah you do you really like it this was something very special do you know one of my biggest regrets is that i wasn't in town when

han zimmer was here doing his live concert and i've heard from people who were at that gig they say it was just fucking excellent han zimmer knows his stuff huh he knows his way around a film he's got a very familiar name to me oh he's the composer for a lot of movies. What are some of his compositions? I think he did all the Dark Knight OSTs. That can't be true because I did all of the Dark Knight OSTs. I think I'd know if someone else was taking credit for doing the entire Dark Knight original soundtrack.

Google him, mate. He's everywhere. That's what I think. Also, I don't think I got my due credit for doing the entire original soundtrack for the Dark Knight. I thought I did a bang-up job on that score. Now we're in a... Don't, don't, don't.

Three times is enough, okay? Now we're in a scene where we're trying to set up for where we need to go. This is like something that doesn't need to be in the movie but it's essentially glue yeah sticking two bits it's an adhesive it's doing its job i mean it's certainly not a highlight for me what do we need to do next highlight we need to get to clarissa's how are we going to do it we're going to be in my life and tell a bad story about roman fountains. Not Roman fountains, Rome and fountains. The fountains in Rome are by definition Roman fountains,

but that is not specifically what we're talking about. We're talking about fountains in the city. It's a very small distinction, but it's necessary to make. Roman fountainhead. What I was about to tell you though, Tim, is the 17th highlight in my life. Please. It's when I saw Liza Minnelli

perform Beyonce's smash it single All the Single Ladies in the film Sex and the City 2. I don't know why I wanted to tell that anecdote specifically then but I did. That's all there is for it. Would you like to tell me about the 18th type experience the highlight of my life

personally it's hard to say there are so many positive memories that thinking back I can reflect on but I suppose it would be the 18th best memory or highlight of my life would be when I think I saw Liza Minnelli perform Beyonce's hit single, All the Single Ladies, in the film Sex and the City 2.

At a pinch. Oh, these boys are about to get punched. Do you know what would have been a better line than when you jack each other off, do you take turns or do a simultaneous kind of thing? Did anyone order the punch and then punch them? Tim, they should have got you in for a punch up on the script. Was anyone thirsty for punch? Yeah, I get it. Both work.

It's the same joke, but one slightly more efficient in the word economy than the other. I like it Do you know You would have been good Going in to punch this script up While they were still working on it Before they filmed it Absolutely

But I feel like as a team If they called us in To rewrite this script For the 48th draft Or just for a redraft After we've seen it 48 times It'd be fun We would be capable

Of really helping them On their way I actually think you're right though To a lean Mean fighting machine i think if if it's a weird thing to think about if there was maybe even in the editing because that we know we know what we're dealing with but if um you assembled all the same uh uh crew and cast and locations and everything together and guy and i were now in charge we reckon we could like make it a better film maybe but so what we we get all of this intel and then we get to remake the film with the same resources not remake because we're allowed to use

stuff that already exists but we can cut and reshoot scenes we can add things well obviously infinite power over what we can do not infinite not infinite do you know what i put in there though what would you call the knife he would be in this movie where would the knife feature i think he would belong to zeus france character zicoli the crying dj and i think he would wield him at very unpredictable times so sort of not uh would it be problematic for the other characters in the film let me throw this at you when zeus frond's character is a colleague the crying dj performs a hate crime and punches some dudes that's when you would expect the knife to come up but that's not when he comes up it's at squirrel's funeral

then i i feel like it's certainly a wrinkle that you could put in the film. Because you don't really get to see him close up at the funeral. So he just draws out the knife and just holds it. Wields it. He's flashing around. He's throwing it about. Putting it in people's faces. Oh, man.

I don't know about that. Oh, this is a fun car ride. Because it reminds me of when you and me were driving around Los Angeles You know? In fact, specifically, this car ride that they're on Reminds me of the time when we drove from LA To Joshua Tree

And there were so many windmills I think And solar panels Along the way I felt like there was a there were quite a bit but not so many

huge amount what was that drive about two hours maybe man I couldn't relay any of the details it was fucking cool man we went out there

listeners of season one will remember we went out there in our juicy camper van and we watched the film and we stayed out there in our juicy camper van and we watched the film and we stayed the night in joshua tree national park and it was awesome and then we were so tired in the morning that um guy drove on his default position which is the left side of the road which

in america they're not such a big fan of and we almost had a head-to-head oh no easy now we didn't nearly have a head-to-head i just did it down a very small uh road yeah till a car came at us at the same lane but in an opposite direction i think i handled it very well oh we didn't die so yeah to an extent i don't think anyone even honked a horn so relaxed was the engagement good times anyway we're out of the car in the movie now and we're at the ferris wheel oh we're about to go to the ferris wheel to meet today you ready okay let's go the hunt for the wildest movie of the summer ends here this is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately borderlands now playing

it's a coley's love interest so i'm like oh my god i'm so sick of it you're like a teacher who's tired of teaching the same curriculum i'm actually not sure where i'm verbalizing anything that's in the film at this point because it's like if you are listening to the podcast right now i mean you're not here for the film that's not what this is no you're um you're here for something else i don't know we can provide it right now but yeah, there's something else. It's just, you know, the film's just happening around us. It's so sweet when you press your headphones against your head because I can hear your voice louder, my voice louder, and the movie feels like it's at a normal volume.

Wonderful. What a lucky guy you are. It's creepy, man. It's like you're talking to me telepathically. If I don't look at your face, but I can just hear you coming through the headphones. I tell you, I'm looking at you the whole time I'm speaking. Telepathy. Yeah, you need to pay a little bit more attention to the film, actually, if anything.

Guy Montgomery. No, I know exactly what's happening out there. We're good to go. Is this love? Is this love? Is this love? Is it love? Is it love?

No, no, no, no, no. No. No. No, Guy. Do it love? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Guy. Do it properly. Oh, boy. Okay, so... I've read a music festival in Los Angeles, and I think it's Guy's turn to talk.

Oh, shit, and I spilt beer everywhere. Oh, I'm wet. Oh, no. Oh, fuck me. It's okay. Eventually, you'll get dry. Such is the way of things. Oh, I feel disgusted. If I understand how the human body works, sometimes it's wet, sometimes it's dry.

Isn't that weird how we're semi-porous so we can pull that off? Yeah, that's pretty weird. I guess we're like amphibians, really. Only we don't... We can't stay underwater for as long as an amphibian. Can a human be underwater for longer than a frog? No, I don't think so. Right, but you don't know for certain.

Man, there's so many options there for you. It's just three. It's not that many, dude. One of them's got to be in focus. They'll all be in focus. Actually, only one of those is any good And it's the last one So lucky for you I took three

Oh I don't like a wet body It's not fun Nah it's not fun at all I don't like wet denim For some reason What hour are we in? What watch is this? I'm honestly lost

This is watch three Hour five? Four? Hour four Hour five What watch is this? I'm honestly lost. This is watch three. Hour five? Four? Hour four. Hour five. Five? Yeah.

Okay, we'll go with that. Sorry, Guy, you were saying something that isn't me talking? Yeah, I was saying the idea of wearing wet denim socks has always been one of the least appealing ideas to me. Oh, tell me about it. Wet socks, nothing worse than that. I don't even think denim socks exist. Oh, denim. Wet denim socks.

Wet denim is bad. Together, wet denim socks. With our powers combined, we're the worst. No, thank you. We're like an anti-Captain Planet. Captain Moon? Just spitballing here. I don't think we ever see

Zaggy Frontega's jeans off. I said it last week. I'll say it again. Oh my God. You're a fucking dunce. No, I'm smart. No, you're not. What's the opposite of the dunce?

The ducks. I'm the ducks of the podcast. I wonder if that is a buzz. The Dunce and the Ducks. I don't know if you're going to love this photo that I've selected of us. That sounds like confirmation that I won't. Yeah, it sure does. And I'm also not sure if I got the hour right under your instruction.

Oh, anyway, look, Edmund, we don't need to bring that into the old party. Hot potato, hot potato. So, we're back in that great ad-libbed improv scene that we know so well and love so bad. And that is the hotel post-coitus. A scene where some food is going to get ordered and some actors are going to flub some scripts. Again, we don't know for certain

in the world of the story that this is post-coitus. Go fuck yourself? Nah, dog. I'm all over it. They've got great chemistry in the morning. Do you think they do? Because I would disagree with you wholeheartedly. They seem like they're... Until they start talking to each other.

Oh, yeah. Physical chemistry, they've got... They're both sexy people. They've got good stuff going on, but this is no good. I don't know. You know what? Hey, I'll tell you what I heard from The Male Gaze,

another podcast featuring two mates of ours. They reckon Zac Efron likes boys. And my theory, I reckon he likes everybody because that chemistry is real. He's a horn dog and he loves everybody. He's probably very well a horn dog. But, you know, if you're an actor worth their salt, which Zac Efron is, I'd definitely pay him in salt.

You think it's the acting thing, though. Even money, yeah. You think it's the old acting thing. Because I understand acting. It's when you portray, you know, a different, well not a different necessarily. You put on a skin that isn't your skin. Exactly. Yeah, that's what I love about it.

Cannibals are the best actors because they have no problem with cutting a person open and occupying their epidermis. Very different trades, I think. And being a cannibal isn't even a trade, really. It's more of a crime. Don't put that photo as her... Don't do that. Change it.

Change it up, dog. Change it up. You've made a huge mistake already. Do you ever think about that stuff? When you're taking an action, do you ever go, what's the worst kind of outcome possible to this? However unlikely, what's the worst outcome of outcome possible to this however unlikely what's the worst outcome and then how do i remove the only circumstance where that would be happening

is if you're doing an action which you're not certain of so it's like what's the worst outcome because if that's the way you think of every action then you wouldn't get anything done that's how i think about most stuff what's the worst outcome of this? Hard. I didn't realize you heard Paige so well. Laughing really loudly while Tonya Romero is on the phone asking for someone who isn't there. He goes, exactly. That's a good bit of work. What the fuck?

We need to wear headphones more often we pick up a little bit more of the soundscape of this stunning film which relies so heavily on audio oh fuck fuck fuck fuck we're back here again where else again lovely lounge if you were given the opportunity if wes bentley said hey tim come over I want to watch We Are Your Friends With You in the apartment from the house I lived in and We Are Your Friends, what would you say? Yeah, let's do it, buddy. You've got a great pad. I'll fly you over for one night only. We'll watch it together in my apartment.

Yeah. And then I'll fly you home. Yeah. What do you say? Like, when? Like, I'll cancel everything I've got on. Let's do it here's my passport number if you need that absolutely he'll need that yeah what would you say so i thank very

much for the offer wes bentley but it seems weirdly specific i don't really want to come over and watch we are your friends with you and you're in the apartment from the movie where are your friends come on dude be real with. Look into my eyes for a second. Be real with me. You would take the offer. I would not take the offer. It's a lot of trouble to go to for an experience I don't really want. Yeah, but it's not always about the experience that you think you want.

It's the experience that could happen. You know how I told you moments ago that I always think about the worst thing that could happen? You always also got to think about the best thing That could potentially happen What is the best thing that could potentially happen I'm going to Los Angeles At a weirdly specific request of Wes Bentley

He probably knows some cool people Maybe he's cool himself I've never met him It's a very different night from my usual So I would love to fly over there Mix my shit up And watch We Are Your Friends. A film I've seen four dozen times now was one of the stars. Tremendous.

I would love that. And what if he was watching it with you and he was like, hey, what do you think of my performance in this scene? I'd be like, I don't know. It's impossible to tell after 45 watches. Nah, but what do you think? Should I listen back to what you said about me? Does it matter to you anymore, man? You made this movie three years ago.

Like, who cares? You've moved on. And if that's not indicative of me not wanting to give a bad review, I don't know what is. Why is Wes Bentley asking you to his place to watch We Are Your Friends? You constructed this. I didn't put us here. I know that, but I'm asking you.

Well, the answer to the question is he's a fan of the podcast, dummy. He doesn't have a lot of work on at the moment, and someone recommended this because it's pertinent to his interests. he doesn't have a lot of work on at the moment and someone recommended this because it's pertinent to his interests tanya tanya romero the woman that i thought was the woman who was in house of cards who i think is the secretary of state turns out it's not her so fucking who cares you know i care tim every detail of your life i care about because i respect you and if you respect someone you care about every minute detail of their life how about this for a detail i've got a wet ass wet with beer yeah i care about that how about this i've never noticed page harrell's tie before and it's average. There's not even anything to comment on the tie about.

I reckon you have noticed it, and you've filed that thought away and not thought to mention it. Because why would you? Fuck all of this fucking shit. Definition of a forgettable thought. This is just a bunch of idiots saying stupid shit. I've got an idea. Do you know what might pick you up, buddy?

Do you want to hear about the 19th highlight of my life? I really would so when i saw liza minnelli perform beyonce's smash hit all the single ladies in the film sex in the city 2 20th What's her name? She, I'm mostly, Liza Minnelli. In the film Sex and the City 2 performs Beyonce's smash hit single with accompanying band and backup nunces, all the single ladies. Fuck off. Hands down, one of the best times I've had in my life. Fuck off. No way.

Truly. So, the 20th best time in your life was just seeing that for the first time? Not quite. It was seeing it for the 20th time. Oh my lord. You've seen it 20 times.

So much money, eh? If each one of those notes is a hundo How much money is in that fucking shoebox Well I guess he got told he was getting a 15 grand bonus But maybe he's putting away money that isn't the bonus That's other money He's putting all his money in there do you reckon Putting all his money in there

Maybe Fuck I don't know What do you think about the shoebox as a banking Love it Facility yeah You know what I've always said Better than a bank Fuck on. What do you think about the shoebox as a banking... Love it....facility, yeah? You know, I've always said, better than a bank. You do always say that.

Whenever I see a shoebox, I look at it and I point at it and I go, better than a bank. When you're saying last week, though, you threw out three shoeboxes you found in your wardrobe and it was all of your savings? Fucking don't bring that up, please.

I just feel like... Admittedly, my life savings were $1.40 spread across three shoe boxes three shoe boxes using currency that's no longer in circulation

is therefore worthless now but the point remains I'm a little sensitive about it so stop being such a fucking asshole sorry man

look at this cake he pulls out of the fridge. Why do I like this so much? I'll tell you what I like. I like that you like it this much. I love it. I think it's the... He's like,

let's eat a whole cake. You and me. Two people. Just here in the kitchen. Let's eat an entire cake, you and I. I love that. I love goals.

I love stupid goals and what's not to love man him eating the whole cake is the worst idea of all time of cake eating you know

in that moment how else are you going to eat it he eats it pretty ugly I would love to lay into that cake it's a good looking cake actually it's got that

beautiful frosting that you only get on either Christmas or wedding cakes. You don't often get that on a birthday cake in my experience. That white solid frosting. It's like vanilla buttery sort of icing. Yeah. Though it's white. It's like a

pure white. It's not like a vanilla off-white yellow. It's a pure white in colour. I don't even know how to describe the taste except icing. You know? I'm sure that our American listeners will be able to relate to that. I think icing is a flavor in America.

Oh my God. Why am I getting a flashback of a long running argument we had with Paul F. Tompkins and his audience when we guessed it on Spontanean Ocean about cake. What the fuck was all that about? Icing, probably. Presumably. It was about icing. The same trip. We called it...

Oh, they call it frosting. The same honey trip that has been laid by us ourselves. I think we did it again. That's pretty awesome, though, that at one point... I could die a happy man. At one point in our lives

we got in a don't know if this is the adjective dialectical back and forth with Paul F. Tompkins about our respective ways of describing the thing you put on cake

wasn't the twist that we all agreed in the end yeah I think we couldn't quite like tee it up but yeah I think you might be right

drank so much liquid eh yeah are you full of I think we couldn't quite like tee it up, but yeah, I think you might be right. Drank so much liquid, eh? Yeah, are you full of... Absolutely. You got a full bladder? But I refuse to succumb to my own biological edges because I'm an evolved being. I think that's a silly being. You're right. Silly Billy.

Yeah, you said it, James Reid from the Feelers. Why don't you get a lap dance from this lady? Hey, everyone. Welcome to the director's commentary. We're in a fucking strip club now, and Zac Efron's puking. God, that's disgusting. It's all about to go down, because he foolishly saved Sophie and him as his photo for Sophie when she calls, and then even more foolishly left his cell phone on the table with James Reid from the Feelers.

Are the Feelers coming back? Are the Feelers coming back? It was two every summer. If I was Zicoli, what I would say is, to be fair, Mr. Reid from the Feelers, I had my jeans on the whole time. Hey,

I want to do a challenge with you but i don't know what the stakes should be what are good stakes for right now i don't know your beer how much beer you got left not much what's the challenge everyone get a little bit too um that we both try and take a guess at what the most recent time the feelers played the coro gold was oh the car glenn sorry yeah uh i think it was hold on we've got to figure out stakes before we put answers um i'll bet you a vinyl copy of the feelers smash album super system i don't even know If it exists Done I know it exists I've written a record Still once for

An exorbitant amount Of money for what The product is Oh shit Okay well you get To go first What's your guess February 3

2017 That's Fucking specific Okay The only way I'm gonna win Is by saying 1st of January

2016 Right on I'll do the research do you know any of these gigs off top of mind i made a guess buddy don't worry about it okay sweet i love that we're gonna research this and get the the winner live on air as well this is like a good how a good radio competition happens okay so we're back in the strip club we're in the bathroom uh zacky frron's just been decked By our alternative Wolverine himself Jump straight from the field Oh

What I got here is Clash of the Titans Yes Dragon Oh fuck yeah My six The Feelers Clash of the Titans Yes Dragon Oh fuck yeah My 6 The Feelers Saturday the 31st of December 2016 That's you dude

That is fucking you Yeah That's all you bro Boy The Feelers are always gigging Well done you Fuck bro I would love to have been in that gig

Are you kidding me? Dragon and the Fet. That is like the ultimate piss cunt, don't know any other songs, karaoke night. But it's the actual bands. Yeah, man. Have you ever seen the rain? Don't go out in the pouring rain That's Dragonite

Yeah somehow We've sort of put our heads down We've just burrowed through And we're about to kill off Squirrel baby We're on our way home Is it any wonder We've just got to throw his corpse out of the car And ride our way to bed

That would have been a crazier way to do his death in this movie Throw his body out of a car. Although, more realistic if you think about it, if I was at a party and someone died accidentally and I was in charge of the party and I were these fucksticks, I would be like, live by the sword, die by the sword, let's fucking get out of this. So I would get the body and throw it into the San Fernando Valley

or whatever, try to get rid of it. Maybe in that bit where all those murders happened and the bodies got buried, where they're overlooking the LA. Did a lot of murders happen there? Yeah, apparently. I heard that on a director's commentary of this movie. What?

Megan Oppenheimer murdered a bunch of people and buried them in a fucking... And she said that in a director's commentary. Weird, eh? Super weird. But it happened. But it happened. Soundproof the walls.

Soundproof the walls. Man, I don't know if I can handle meeting anyone who is involved in this movie on account of what we've done to ourselves in this film. I'm not even sure if what you've just said makes any sense it definitely does can you imagine meeting any of these actors and being like hey look i want to meet zach efron i'd have to be happy to meet any of them would you bring it up or not fucking depends not necessarily i wouldn't force it but if we were like if we were, here's the circumstances.

I'm in an elevator with one of them. You pick which one. Johnny Depp. With Johnny Depp. And I'm like, dude, I don't want to say anything. Like the elevator breaks. If the elevator's operating normally, I don't bring it up. I'm just like, this is amazing.

Such specific concept. But if the elevator breaks, I'm like, dude, I wasn't going to bring this up. But are you the guy from we are your friends and he'll be like yes that's a film i did a few years ago and i'll be like dog i got some weird shit for you but i happen to have seen your film no less than 47 times and he would say maybe let's get out of this elevator before you keep talking what about Zayce Fron

same situ man yeah pretty similar dialogue track except more heavy on the I wouldn't be all coy about are you the guy I'd be like you're Zayce Fron

he'd be like I am I'd be like my name's Tim I do a podcast where I watch your film every week he'd be like that's mental have you'd be like, my name's Tim. I do a podcast where I watch your film every week. He'd be like, that's mental. Have you seen Baywatch yet? Because he's always selling. The dude is always selling.

Have you seen Baywatch? No, it's not out yet in New Zealand. Yeah, it's been out. Oh, is it? Fuck. I have not seen it. Have you? Nah, dog.

We have big plans. I was going to bring all the podcast, dog. I haven't seen it. We have big plans. I was going to bring all the podcast shows together. Your whole stable of horses. Absolutely. But then Rose went back home as well, so it's not quite the same. Some nerve. Anyway, these parties were the shit, eh?

Did you go to these kind of parties when you were young? Not this wild. Not this good. Yeah, I've been to a big house party before. It was a good time Fuck it is it what There's an annual house party that happens in Auckland Which I seem to be out of town for every time it happens I'm fucking gutted

Because I've missed it about four years in a row But it's like A known Organised Excellent fucking house party that everyone raves about Every year If you haven't seen or been there for four years How do you organized excellent fucking house party that everyone raves about every year if you haven't seen or been there for four years how do you

how does it's reputation everyone around me goes all of my flatmates go current cast your cast of flatmates my cast of flatmates current season cast go like every they've been at least the last two years

and I've heard about it for like the last four you've been I think I can't remember the name of the street but you know what I'm talking about real close to here it doesn't matter no one else gives a fucking shit

if they're here with us at this point they're probably vaguely interested you would have to be a psychopath trying to like fucking if they're here with us at this point they're probably vaguely interested at least you would have to be a psychopath trying to like fucking tee up our geolocation to kill us to still be listening to whatever jibber jabber we've got going on oh man you gotta wake up first

he's got bad tattoos could you deal with me taking a bathroom break? Do you reckon you could take over the mic for a tick? I'm all over it. Dude, I need you to keep talking. This is like speed, okay? Keep us above 60.

Isn't it 57? Whatever. It's probably neither of the speeds we said. Neither of us know speed that well. I dislike the idea of it. So, three friends are finding out that their friend Squirrel is dead again. Yet somehow they're all managing to act surprised, which is a real testament to their professionalism and hard work as actors.

If nothing else, watching this movie over and over again has given me respect for the craft of acting and the idea that some people have to do the same performance, you know, hundreds and hundreds of times and in their performance act as though what's happening is happening for the first time they say acting isn't acting it's reacting but they're wrong because acting is acting that's why it's called acting if it was reacting it would be called reacting but it's not so why aren't you guys who think that acting is reacting read a fucking book for once and get your shit together acting is acting reacting is reacting a spade is a spade it's the 1440s pull your fucking head in they're all kind of upset that their friend Squirrel's dead

but I gotta say after 49 weeks they're probably getting pretty used to embaling on them at this time by now don't worry about me Tim I was just giving

the good boys a lecture on performance I'm not even sure that there's enough oxygen in this room for us to, like, supposed to be in here at this point. We need, like, a carbon dioxide scrubber like they have on shuttles going into space, you know? This is what was wrong with Apollo 13.

Eleven? Eleven. I've got personal problems with all of the Apollos. Do you? You don't think man should be on the moon. I don't think man should leave Earth. 11 I've got personal problems with all of the Apollos do you you don't think man should be on the moon I don't think man should leave earth

we built it we'll go down with the ship you think we built the planet it's what any good captain will do we built this planet

and by Jove we'll go down on it too we got chippies in here yeah man we need okay here's what we need Guy more of everything

okay so all of the things that we we need. Guy, more of everything. Okay? So all of the things that we have, we're going to need more of them, alright? Can you tee that up? Yeah, I'll do my best. Thanks, mate. Just a quick drinks break for the boys.

My lord. What you can hear on the street, this commentary, is the rustle of desperation as we try and put enough fuel into our bodies to drag ourselves to the finish line of this, our third screening of the relentlessly infuriating Maximum Joseph's Magnum Opus, We Are Your Friends.

I really don't want to eat or chew on the mic. It's a gross thing to hear people do baby and the problem is we've got doritos which as anyone who eats doritos knows they don't do anything they just evaporate on your tongue and you get the sensation of eating food but without any of the nutritional or energy benefits or immediate satisfaction you get a salty yeah thirsty mouth. It's just gone. It's just like whatever this was.

I think it was just you temporarily solidified corn syrup, but it melted as soon as it hit my tongue. It's nothing. How do you make a Dorito? What are you deep frying? Corn starch? Okay, according to the ingredient,

this is how much respect we've made to the movie right now i am proceeding to read you the ingredients list of cheese supreme flavored doritos corn chips ingredient from chief weight to least. Corn, vegetable oils, brackets, soy, cheese powder, brackets, milk, salt, buttermilk powder, brackets, milk, wheat powder, whey protein concentrate, brackets, milk, tomato powder, flavor enhancers 621, 631, and 627, onion7 Onion powder Whey powder Brackets Milk Garlic powder Dextrose Sugar Natural flavour Mineral salt

3-3-9 Food acids Lactic acid Citric acid Spice White pepper Colours 1-10-1-50-D

Contains gluten Contains milk All milk products Contains gluten, contains milk, or milk products, contains soybeans, or soybean products. That does not sound like an appealing snack to this, you know, intrepid bipartisan punter.

A bipartisan punter. That should be your food blog. I would just want to eat more of them though because they do nothing. Oh man, how can you read out that laundry list of chemicals and keep poisoning your body? Not chemicals. Everything's chemicals. No man, not me.

I'm made of flesh and bone. Don't you dare fucking tell me I've got a chemical in my body or so help me God, I will reach across these two chairs and I will strangle you good sir. Sweet ass live in ignorance see if I give a shit. So where we are right now is old mate having a whiskey. Did you just quote Friedrich Nietzsche?

No. Well you just said that whole ignorance thing was a Friedrich Nietzsche quote. What did I say? I don't give a shit. I go fuck you I don't know words to that effect it's nature an alternative pronunciation of nichi yeah same dude same guy yeah that like um what's that word what's that philosophy we're like fucking nothing matters absolutely nothing nihilism is he that famous nihilistic writer and philosopher? Yeah, I think he's pretty popular.

I don't know him that well. As told by my mispronunciation of his name and misattributing a quote that you clearly had just made up. And Ginger. Also, as told by Ginger. Yeah, that's a great show. Macy Gray sang the theme song.

Fuck, it was a good show. Someone once told me the grass was much greener. That's not what she sounds like. Fuck that hurt, man. Yeah. My throat's been going through hell. Trying to do Macy Gray every day. Yeah, still not even close.

You're not even in the ballpark. I reckon you're a bad person. Me? No. Okay. Zac Efron's character, Cole Carter, in the film We Are Your Friends. Man. Cece Babcock.

I've got to say, I don't know if this has brought out the best in us, Tim. best in us, Tim. How are those Doritos going? I'm just chewing on Doritos. I'm sorry for the absence. I'm back. You're right. Oh, do you know what he's drinking? A whiskey. Do you know what I could go for? A whiskey. Yeah, dude. And I actually...

This is a tricky... You're right. Do what you gotta do, man. No, here's what a tricky. You're right. Do what you got to do, man. No, here's what's tricky. No, I can't in good conscience do it. Oh, unless we leave some. So I've got a small bottle of beautiful old single malt that my parents bought for me, intended for myself and my fiance. No, you can't bring that up here.

I want to have some whiskey, though. Wouldn't that be nice? Wouldn't it be nice if we drank whiskey? This is not how I imagined you proposing to me, Tim. The piano music is not helping the mood of this. It's helping you, not me. Am I going to ask you to marry me? Wait, I did ask you to marry me.

When? If you think marry me. When? If you think about it. Just now? No, think about it. I asked you to marry me. Oh, yeah. Hey. Yeah, all right, Dan, with your dad joke.

That's not a dad joke. It's a technicality. That sounds like a really bad job. Whoa, his headphones are resting on that table in the background. Never noticed that. Neither did I. Fucking hell, my God. Goddamn, what a game changer.

You know, that's kind of put this entire movie in a whole new light for me. Do you know what? No kidding. This might be the worst director's commentary that's ever been like recorded down in any medium I don't feel so bad about it because I know that we laid down some quality several hours ago but as it stands I agree that what we're doing is

tantamount to disrespectful to both the film and ourselves and you who's still listening and Doritos who are sponsoring this episode it's a great way to sponsor Doritos with sponsoring this episode. It's a great way to sponsor Doritos with a cotton mouth. Try Doritos. I love them.

I love them. I'm just eating them. And I apologize for that because, you know, I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. Nothing grosser than eating on the mic. That's beautiful, isn't it? Just a bit of running and some birds that's quite a relaxing

sensation the helicopter always freaks me out yeah yeah I don't like hearing a helicopter flying over here who does

no one that's the answer end helicopter helicopter's good oi um chuck in some more

uh calming fucking incense or whatever. Incense, like burning incense. Or whatever kind of incense there is for a calming atmosphere. You know, helicopters are scary. Let's unscary them. For me personally or for Zicoli?

For us. For us. Ah. We're scared i once um i bought a record that was called relaxing sounds relax don't do it and it was a series of different different relaxing sounds that you could play so one of them was like a bubbling brook you know and the other one was a garden in springtime and the garden in springtime it had birds it had sort of the distant sound of people playing and then another one of the features that would play it was like a 14 minute recording of a relaxing garden in springtime another one was um

the sound and and far in the distance you can gently hear the sound of a lawnmower for hearing someone else work is also relaxing and i was like hot damn what bold person in the recording studio was like i tell you what else would really help people take a load off it's the sound of a grunty ass lawnmower toiling away did it work though considering it sounded like it was far off yeah of course it worked that's fucking cool man that's a good shout from the audio engineer for sure you know

real good shout pretty good gig designing relaxing noises do you think you could do it as an alternative backup career to stand up comedy if that whole thing doesn't pan out yeah absolutely what's the most relaxing sound that you would put down that no one's done before like it's untapped i got a playlist i've been working on that no one else has put together in exactly the same order that i have can you please

let me know what's on there do you want to hear what's on the playlist because it coincides perfectly with several of my personal life highlights. I thought it might. The first song on the playlist and my 21st personal life highlight is Liza Minnelli performing Beyonce's smash hit single All the Single Ladies in the film Sex and the City 2. The second song on the playlist and my 22nd life highlight is Liza Minnelli performing Beyonce's Smash It single All The Single Ladies in the film Sex and the City 2. highlight is Liza Minnelli performing Beyonce's Smash It. All the single ladies in the film Sex in the City 2. My 24th personal highlight and the fourth song on the playlist that I'm describing

to you is of course Liza Minnelli's performance of the Beyonce Knowles, or Beyonce as her recording name is. Maybe even Beyonce Carter. I don't know if she took Sean Carter's name or not. Regardless, as Liza Minnelli's performance of Beyonce's smash hit single, all the single ladies taken from the film Sex and the City 2. Let me stop you there, guy. No one gives a shit. I mean, you're going on a bit

You know You're droning Easy now Oh shit We're almost at the end of the film I really want to get to 52 Fuck Doesn't seem feasible

Really, is it? These Doritos need to go I tell you what Every time I tell you About one of my personal Life highlights The line of Doritos Remaining to be eaten in the bag goes down,

which I love. It's like a superpower. Hey, my name's Zac Efron. I'm about to play some dumbass shit I've been working on for you all. I'm sorry that the catering's terrible and there's not enough water or porta-potties in this car park, but hey, thems be the break sometimes. Here goes. It's the sound of me

farting for three minutes and 52 seconds remixed by me i remix it with the power of my farts pointing into a mouse so that it would click at random times if the farts sound like there's no real rhyme or reason to them that's because there isn't that's how farting works and more specifically farting into a microphone and then farting to mix them together works anyway please enjoy and if any of you are dying from dehydration that's not my problem you sign a release form fuck you i'm zach efron i'm getting out of here just a tremendous time to put over a bunch of punters who have come to see a music gig. I like to kick off with the most animosity in that kind of environment.

If someone's paid money to be somewhere, you want to kick off and go, greetings, fuck faces and shitheads. Here's how shit's going to work around here. Thin out the fakers from the real fans. Thin out that herd. Get rid of the fucking plebeians. Get rid of the people who aren't. Yeah, get rid of the people

who aren't for real. Do you know who you're left with then? People who love abuse. And I mean, what better way to get rich than just be left with those people and then make them buy a bunch of t-shirts. You just stand there

with a microphone in your hand and you, a USB. It doesn't work if you say and USB, although that's technically grammatically correct. And USB. And USB. Nah. You just say a USB. It doesn't work if you say and USB, although that's technically grammatically correct. And USB. And USB. Nah. You just say a USB.

Isn't it weird? I've always, like, thought that about. There was another beer sitting around for me somewhere. Can you see it? Is it behind my head or something? Is it there? Is it over there? It's somewhere.

I can't see shit, boy. One of these fucking. Maybe we do need to delve into the old bucket. Oh, is that yours? No, that's an empty one. Do you know what I'm noticing around us? A lot of empty beer cans. Oh, dead Marines.

Chuck, is there anything going on in that box? There's a beer. Oh, just the one, eh? Oh, what about on there? Are they all dead too? Yeah, boy. Fuck, we've got through a couple of beers, just the one, eh? Oh, what about on there? Are they all dead too? Yeah, boy. Fuck, we've got through a couple of bears, haven't we? All told.

What about that one above your head? No, that's dead too, huh? Okay. That guy, he's dead also. Okay. They're all gone, buddy. Okay, well, we'll start on the Peronis then. I had them in the back closet.

Well, as far as I know, unless you've got a nasty surprise in store for me, at the tail end of this song playing out, we can finally excuse ourselves from our civic duty of watching and discussing this film over and over. Oh, my God. How do you feel about the experiment

of watching it thrice consecutively dude i am so sorry i forgot to let you know i had a plan for this and that was for us to watch it a fourth time in a row you're doing a bit eh not at all not at all you have got to be taking the fucking fifth no dude it was the moment when you said i don't have any plans tonight i was like cool four it is no that's not right man we're not because you've been gearing up for it to end at this point hey that's been your whole end goal yeah of course that those have been your goal posts i thought watching it three times consecutively you would think that that's totally normal are you deadly fucking serious right now not fucking around bro i reckon it's it's it's happening well i mean i don't reckon it's

happening it is happening and i reckon this is where we are now so you can either get on board or not but one more go on the merry-go-round you know that is so unbelievable to me so listen let's not get too dwelling into the future on the other hand though to your credit i can't imagine another time in my life I'll be in this exact circumstance where it's even close to an option. There you go. Let's roll with that. Let's keep that energy up. I can't imagine it lasting for another hour and 35 fucking minutes. Okay, so, I mean, we're at the conclusion of watch number three. And let me say, the payoff is tiny.

That's what sucks about this movie so much. It's not that it's like the worst movie ever but it's just the payoff for what they set up is so disproportionately terrible yeah nothing earned nothing ventured nothing gained nothing ventured nothing gained it's precisely it man you're right about that oh man i just am processing the fact that i'm about to watch this movie all over again you ready for that shit boy I got a load up on like yeah we got to get a bunch of stuff in our system tell you that for free this even sugar just anything that keep me keep me going keep this engine going these days

everybody want to talk but I got nothing to say I can't believe that when you move move your mouth it's just a bunch of gibberish. You want some chocolate, buddy? Yeah, I'd love some, dude. Is that dark as well? Cacao. Thank you. Oh, no.

We're not supposed to both eat at the same time. I forgot the rule. Things change, dude. Yeah, they do. Sorry, everybody, everybody but you know we're at the end of watch 3 give us a little bit of slack if you're not enjoying this

just fast forward to when we start watching the movie for a fourth time which is in about a minute and then don't enjoy that instead of not enjoying this oh my goodness ok so here we go Here's the shoehorn of the payoff

And it's Somaly being in a night class For like a community college Learning about we don't know what Is it law? Maybe Here's Johnny Depp He's at a cast call of other Johnny Depps And apparently This is Jahid's dream

Being a fucking doorman Gutted bro Show us squirrel And apparently, this is Jahid's dream, being a fucking doorman. Gutted, bro. Show us Squirrel. Squirrel, reveal yourself. Oh, dark. That's so dark. Literally, he would have worms going in and out of his eyeballs.

I need to see him. I need to see his tombstone. I say this with the greatest of respect but did you just fart recently no this room has gotten toxic ma'am I did not that is the cumulative

impact of us is that just that's just you and me it's you and me sitting in here working hard god damn isn't it absurd

that right now what feels like the hardest work possible in the world is just sitting in the same spot and watching a movie.

No, it's not hard. That's why I added another watch, dude. We're all right. We're okay. We can do this. No, I do think there is credit to it. It is hard. There's no amount of torture that you're putting yourself through.

We're hard workers, dude. You and me. We're hard workers. Work smart, not hard. That's what they say. But that's when you get in your 40s. When you're in your 20s, you've got to put in the hard graph. Is that the word?

Graph? Oh, man. What are we going to talk about? Emily Radishkowski and Johnny Weston and Shiloh Fernandez. Shiloh Fernandez. That's whose name we've got to remember. Alex Schaefer Schaefer And him

Wiz Bentley Hey As you can probably guess We're at the credits of the film Yeah I'm ready Um My guy

This is madness Yeah isn't it? Okay, okay, okay. We need to fucking reset, resettle, refocus, restart, be reborn, rejuvenate, and get in there once more. We can do this. You and I. I believe in us. I believe in us too.

If not the whiskey that you're going to propose to me with maybe you want to get some of those lovely refreshing beers yeah whatevs do you want me to get them or are you going to get them i can get them if you want but i'm not stopping what's happening right now this is a continuous yeah i know you if you get them i'll keep talking i'm good company okay take it from me i've spent a lot of time with me. So I guess as the sun sets on one screening of We Are Your Friends and the sun rises on another, what is there to talk about? Well, not a heck of a lot.

One of the people in this film is credited just with the name Posso. I suppose the other thing I could do is start telling you about some of the other highlights of my life, if you're interested. The 24th, I believe, highlight of my life so far was probably when I saw Liza Minnelli perform Beyonce's smash hit single All The Single Ladies in the film Sex and the City 2. The 25th highlight? Arguably, almost definitely in fact,

when I saw Liza Minnelli perform Beyonce's smash hit single All The Single Ladies in the film Sex and the City 2. The 26th highlight of my life would be probably something quite similar when i saw liza minnelli perform beyonce knoll's smash hit single all the single ladies in the film sex in the city 2 27th on the list so kind of you to wonder would be when i saw liza minnelli perform bei perform Beyonce Knowles smash hit single All The Single Ladies in the film Sex and the City 2. The 28th highlight of my life to this point probably when I saw Liza Minnelli perform a song originally written and performed by Beyonce Knowles

called All The Single Ladies at the wedding ceremony in the film Sex and the City 2. The 29th highlight of my life to this point in my 29th year, when I saw Liza Minnelli perform Beyonce's smash hit single, All the Single Ladies in the film Sex and the City 2. The 30th highlight in my life to this point would be when I saw Liza Minnelli perform beyonce's smash hit single all the single ladies in the film sex in the city 2 the 32nd highlight of my life to this point would be when i saw liza minnelli perform the smash hit single by beyonce all the single

ladies in the film sex in the city 2 the 33rd highlight of my life so far when i saw liza minnelli perform beyonce smash it single all the single ladies in the film sex in the city 2 can i explain to you what we're doing by all means so what i'm doing here's the thing and in season one we did a director's commentary which is where we did an episode where we talked over the film instead of talking after the film. Sex and the City 2, you want to top that. So we did it two in a row, and that produced the episode called Five Hour Energy

because it was such a long film. In this third season, We Are Your Friends, even watching it three times doesn't equal two Sex and the Cities. So everything's got to be bigger. You see what I'm saying? It's escalation. It's got to be bigger. You see what I'm saying? It's escalation. It's got to be longer. And unfortunately we are only just shy of

five hours right now. But just shy is enough for me. Less than five is more than two. But less than five is less than five. Yeah, I know. We're going to break the six hour barrier and at what cost tim um like the first astronauts probably nothing good for us but great things for those who come after us One of the guys that goes through One of them's a hottie, his name is Jay One of them looks like Johnny Depp And his name is Johnny Depp

Classic Maximum Joseph Agree! You forget that films are supposed to have a point Today You ready? Okay, let's go The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer Everybody run!

ends here. This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands, now playing.