The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Eight - Forty Eight

Episode Date: October 10, 2018

Fresh from a weekend of film making in the 48Hour film competition, Guy has convinced Tim to do the podcast sleep deprived and with a room full of friends on a Sunday night. They don't join us for the podcast, but their spirit certainly comes through this episode. With a renewed vigour and thirst for adventure, the lads' morale has never been higher. Tackled this week - a new theory: Adam Sandler only wrote half of a movie... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

here we are okay number ocho number eight numero numero eight in french and i've got to say it is Number eight. Numero. Numero Eito. Huit. In French. And I've got to say, it is a studio absolutely packed to the rafters with delirium at this point. Yeah. What it lacks in people, it makes up for in emotion. Because when we started this viewing of Grown Ups 2, ladies and gentlemen, we had a lounge full of people just ready to get involved with a quality comedy. We had a full house, people fresh off the back of the foot at our film festival, obviously all steeped in cinema.

They'd been bathing in the stuff the whole weekend. And I guess what they really wanted to sign off the weekend was sort of a celebration of what we had all been working on, you know, is to see a triumph of cinema. You, Guy Montgomery, my to see a triumph of cinema. You, Guy Montgomery, my name is Tim Batt. Welcome along to the podcast, The Worst Idea of All Time. Guy, you floated the idea a few hours ago. You sent me a text message and you said to me,

you said, Tim, I'm swimming in film. Let's do the podcast tonight. I said, you're insane. Yes. We put it to the vote, and by the vote I mean our Facebook group. Very positive response. God, did they come back in their droves. And they said, one person said, one person had a very reasonable explanation.

They said, look, if you do it tonight, then that's eight days rather than the regular seven before you have to see it again that really pipped my interest i can see i and i can proudly say that never occurred to me the reason i was so on board with doing it now was uh you know it's just you don't sleep a lot during the 48 hour film weekend this is my first one so and i guess it sort of it just blew my whole mind open for For the uninitiated, this is a competition where you have to make a movie in two days, like write the thing, record the thing, edit the thing, the whole process in two days. That's right. And so I did it, and we were just, or at least, you know, I was lost the whole time. I was just completely at sea.

And sort of it all fell apart, and then we sort of taped it back together and handed it in, and we finished. And doing it and then we sort of taped it back together and handed it in and we finished and and and doing it and then watching this movie right after that in a sleep deprived vaguely delirious state i sort of i i at least i don't know if i felt empathy for the filmmakers but i identified with you know what here's the thing how difficult it is to piece one of these things together here's the kicker guy because I saw you heading that direction. I saw you starting to empathise with the filmmakers. But the issue there is the differences.

They, despite appearances, did not make this film in a weekend. No, I know. They had a whole regular shishul of shooting. I'm aware of that. But what I enjoyed was that after seven viewings, after being the bluest of blue, after being at the bottom, at the lowest possible ebb, I watched this movie with wide eyes and a childlike wonder. It was like the first time I've seen it. Why?

And it was a room full of strangers. That's why. They were watching it for the first time. We were like the cool guys at the art gallery, man. We were explaining how it all goes and what to look for and when to enjoy it, you know, the kinks and the turns. And it just revitalised the whole viewing experience of grown-ups too for me. And I guess maybe that's why I wanted to watch it so bad is that it was an out from the misery

that would have been us watching it together tomorrow morning. When it dawned upon me that you and i have become experts in a given field when the given field is the film grown-ups too i simultaneously felt elation and a deep crushing sense of my own mortality that's right insignificance well i mean we do have to abide by the grown-ups too code which is of course studios falling studios already falling apart this is just this is not good for morale just no it's okay it's fine i'll just put okay i'll just put this egg we've lost an egg over here i've lost one of them already anyway that's true we're only four minutes in and that egg carton's gone down like a sack of potatoes um look i just gotta got to, you know, it's just, I think it was exciting. The whole viewing was exciting for me,

and there were things that I noticed in watching it tonight which I never noticed before, and I don't think I would have noticed without the tail end of the weekend and with the help of company in the film. Okay. Because you get to watch guys and girls who are just incredulous towards, I mean, the whole movie, there's no conflict for a start, yes? Okay, you're getting closer.

What I just wanted to say is we're almost five minutes into the podcast and we need to at some point reference the film that we watched, which is the whole point of this. Oh, we're not talking about that at all. No, you almost got close though. You almost got close. To what movie we're watching? Yeah, you just said. Have we actually not said what movie we're watching? No, no we watch no no you just haven't really we haven't spoken about it

whatsoever i'm not sure if we've named the title grown-ups too yet um but my point is you know last week i listened back to the podcast uh it was a bad time it was okay but we didn't really talk about the film and i feel like we're straying from the objective here. No, no, no, no, Tim, because we've gone beyond just reviewing the film each week. We're now reviewing... It's not reviewing the review, but I mean, I think at least if this podcast is going to work, which I want it to,

is for us to get value out of it, we need to find out what we enjoy about each viewing, where each viewing takes us emotionally mentally um and and and for me it's exciting that last week yes i was blue all right i was like the bloody i was like the understudy for blues clues you know i wasn't in a very good mood and this week this week i made it about it'sminute movie. I probably made it through 85 to 90 minutes of the movie before feeling any form of misery or tiredness. And that's just, I mean, how can I not want to yell up from a rooftop? I enjoy grown-ups too.

I enjoyed it! Do you feel liberated? I do. I feel like I'm burning my bra. Okay. liberated? I do. I feel like I'm burning my bra. Listen, is it too early for me to bring up the thing that

I have cracked onto this week? You do what you want to do. Is it too early? Do what you want to do. Do we want to get into, this seems to be a segment all on its own, Tim's theory of the week. Do we want to get into that before the shining light or after the shining light?

Why don't you start now and if it's getting too heavy all right listen guys i'm gonna open a bear for this guys get ready pull a seat up next to the fire because timbett's about to lay it down real heavy guys listen up real quick here's the thing i have a theory that the movie Grown Ups 2 was made with half of a script. And it's not as silly as it sounds. So here's... Where should I go first? Okay. First, I'll put out the theory, and then I'll try and back it up with evidence.

Why don't you start off with the origins of the theory? When did it occur to you this might be a thing? That's a good idea. Good idea. It's a good thing you're here, Guy. So... Thanks, Tim. Guy and I, which fans of the podcast

will remember, did you crack one open for me? Could you do that? Yeah, you can. Thank you. Guy and I got to the point

after about viewing number three or four where we were like, okay, what we need to know are the checkpoints, so the good funny bits to look out for

and also the midway points so we know when we're coming down the other side of the mountain. So we figured out when the 50% point of the film is where the absolute halfway point is, right? And it happens to be at the scene where Greg, Adam Sandler's son, both in one scene,

it's a world-wide scene, he sets himself up to be one of the greatest kickers in gridiron history. Certainly in the history of the high school. Yeah, and then Adam Sandler breaks his leg, thus taking away any ability to foster that talent, turn it into something that could be career building. Yeah, the whole scene in scale is so epic. It's sort of like the whole movie.

It makes perfect logical sense that it's in the middle of the movie of the movie well it does except the scene is structured the way it is makes no sense because they set up a huge thing and that is adam sandler's son is amazing at one particular aspect of football at gridiron but he's been craving this the whole first half of the movie yeah but adam sandler has no his son oh, okay. But they don't set it up. It just appears. Well, they mention it once, which in the world of the movie is a pretty big setup. So anyway, they kind of set this thing up and then destroy it all in one.

And I've actually referenced that before. I've talked about it with Guy. I think I've brought it up on the podcast several times and it never made sense to me until today. So here's what I think has happened. And it never made sense to me until today. So here's what I think has happened. It was too coincidental that the scene that sets something up and then wraps up in one scene happened to be at the halfway point of the film.

It's too coincidental. It's got to mean something. So I started thinking to myself, what could it mean? And then I started working my way backwards as I was watching the rest of the movie go forwards. And it occurred to me that what I think has happened is they've set out to make Grown Ups 2 where they wrote 50% of the script

up to the halfway point that we watch. And when they got to that point, they started just working their way from the script midway point backwards towards the start again. That's right. And I tell you what, guys, if anyone in this room,

which involves Tim Batt, me, Guy Montgomery, and yourself, who would be sceptical about Tim Batt's conspiracy theory, it's me, it's Guy Montgomery, it's not you, it's me. Yeah, totally. All right? And Tim Batt fired this out at me halfway through the film, and I thought to myself, this is just Tim Batt going off on one of his crazy tangents. And I made a lot of comments tonight that didn't have a lot that's right and he was

firing shit out left right and center but this one this one had a little it had a little something else it had a little sort of accuracy a little more gusto as we moved through the second half of the movie we were hitting checkpoints that we'd hit on the way to the midpoint yeah all along so okay fuck i know i should have taken notes here but i i'll try and think of some examples so like fuck um it's the introduction of characters yeah and because what happens in this movie is they introduce a character or or sort of a story thread very vaguely and they'll just do it in passing and then it's almost like they feel like that because of doing that that at some point they

have to reference every because they set up like a million different scenarios and they feel like in the movie at some point they have to cross off just to reference that they remember they wrote the end of the script at the beginning that they have to cross off that this happens and well it's also because it's a film and you as an audience member have gone oh yeah that thing i'm remembering no there's no payoff in any of these setups no i know but you don't know there's no conflict in this movie but you don't know that going on because you figure it's going to be like any other film where there's a beginning and middle and end there's a setup there's a resolution yeah i'm just going i was speaking from the perspective of the view of grown-ups too right so if all right now you you gotta start

talking because i'm losing my Jesus i hear you but hear you, but I'm with you. But I think no one else is. So, okay. So I'll try and think of some examples, right? Okay. John Lovitz is an example, but I can't remember how. Oh, the slapping of the ass seems to happen at the same time at the start of the movie during the yoga lesson. As it does at the end.

See, that's too specific. What you need is the broader, bigger, bigger sort of film moments so that it's easily identifiable. I mean, is this maybe something, seeing as we're not going to, we're going to struggle to remember it. We've just opened this.

We've opened Pandora's box. We're going to leave it open for a week. Much like grown-ups too, we've opened a thread. We will not close it right now, but just keep it in your head. And remember the excitement with which we spoke about it. Now, I'll tell you what I did do, folks. I wrote down a couple of notes on a pizza box.

I'm just going to find that because it's somewhere in the lounge. Pad for me, guys. That's right. Tim Bette has now walked across the lounge, picked up the pizza box, and he's sitting back down. Good padding. Thank you. It was terrible.

So what I noticed about the film this week is that it's not funny, but it's not unfunny enough to be artistic a la The Room. You know that movie, The Room, where it's the quintessential example that's so bad it's good? I would like to talk about your noticing of this, this evening. Because, I mean, surely in the seven previous viewings we would have understood that this movie is not funny. It's not funny, but it's not funny in a way which makes it funny. It's just outright boring and unfunny.

Yeah. I think this isn't necessarily relative to your statement, but this is what gets me excited about the podcast and about tonight's viewing experience, is that this is a direct response to watching the movie with other people. I found myself noticing with this movie a lot of things I noticed the first time I watched it. Just slow down your speech a bit and open your mouth. Can you enunciate a little bit?

I'm trying to enunciate, Tim. I'm excited. I'm sorry. If you're struggling to understand me, that's your problem. People are trying to hear what you have to say. What you have to say is of value, Guy, and I just want to make sure everyone can hear it. This is important.

Let's just slow your speech a little bit and open that mouth. Okay. I'm sorry. I apologize. Diction. The tip of the tongue, the teeth, and the lips. The tip of the tongue, the teeth and the lips The tip of the tongue, the teeth and the lips Do you want to hear a dirty version of that?

Yeah I'm trying to remember how it goes Me and Matt made it up once The pink pulsating pussy is penetrated by the purple penis The pink pulsating pussy is penetrated by the purple penis That's not bad anyway what i was saying is that i was noticing a lot of things in the movie tonight which i noticed in the first viewing like like just the simple stuff like setting up all this ridiculous large physical

humor and then just that's how you'd end a scene if it wasn't working just end the scene introducing new characters don't worry about it or the fact that everyone in the city is really mean to each other all of the interactions that the characters have involve put downs and it's presented in a way that you think oh it's okay this is just how they're interact it's like a friendly banter but there's nothing positive it's all people being mean to each other so i was noticing this stuff tonight and it felt the same as when i noticed it in our first viewing when i was like oh right why are we watching this movie this is so stupid so it's like you're exposed for the first time i feel like you noticing that this movie is not funny in an unartistic way yeah tonight yeah is the same recognition you would have had in one of the first

two viewings and this is a credit to having these different people watch the movie with us i feel like what we should do is, I mean, some weeks, maybe every fifth week or tenth week, we get someone to watch the movie with us so that we can experience that sort of giddy sensation of being the expert. Plus, we just need something to look forward to, to be honest with you. I mean, I guess that's more. That other stuff was just a load of baloney.

I was trying to crowbar into the fact that we need something to make this doable. Shining Light. This is the part of the podcast where we talk about a part of Grown Ups 2 that we enjoyed on this particular week's viewing. I'm not sure if we have used it as a shining light before, but I would like to use the entire action sequence as my shining light. Any objections? This is one of the rules of the shining light.

You can't object to shining light, Tim. Why tonight did you particularly enjoy that? Well, I'm not sure what drew me to it tonight. I felt like I was watching a lot of the film with fresh new eyes, like a baby. And there was just, there's, there's so many gags within the gag and the tire scene. This is of course,

when Higgins enters a massive tire while they're at Kevin James's auto shop. And then they're supposed to be rolling the tire between each other, just messing with Higgins a little bit, but Adam Sandler gets a call on his cell phone. So when the tyre rolls toward him, he walks away accidentally and lets the tyre roll down a hill. And all of a sudden, all manner of mayhem is breaking loose and the tyre with Higgins inside of it is going all across the countryside.

It rolls through the whole city and everyone in the city notices it because they're all doing some activity out of the house. Do you know why it's a shining light for me actually that moment? Because of how it's shot. It's shot like a Simpsons couch gag. There's something so sweeping and all-encompassing about it. We've got all of the city we've already seen and every character you've already been exposed to in this scene.

Cartoonish. Yeah, totally cartoonish. And this is another thing which comes back to the 48-hour film festival, just the involvement in making a movie this weekend and then watching it after being sleep-deprived for two nights and coming in strung out, is that, like, the movie, and this is the problem with a lot of hollywood movies the movie is actually shot you look at it you know because i i credit the fact that our movie looked okay

at all this weekend to the fact we had a really good cameraman but this movie was shot in a way which looks really good and this is in common in so many hollywood movies now you can mask how terrible the movie is with their high production values. And that was one of those scenes which was like, it was just, everything looked fucking superb. Oh, totally. You looked absolutely fan-fucking-tastic. You've got tracking shots that are just, like, perfectly square and even.

I mean, like, every character's featured in there, and they all look great. The colour palette's dead on. I mean, Christ, high def? How high def do you want it? We're watching a 1080p bloody version of the film every single week. On a lovely LG. Is that a plasma?

This is LCD. You can't get a plasma that thin, mate. And do you want to know something about that TV that we watch on every week? That's 3D, brother. If we had a Blu-ray that was in 3D of Grown Ups 2, we've got the glasses and the technology that we could watch it in 3D. You know, if they made grown-ups 2 in 3d fuck i hope i tell you what that's a good name it's a good name for a sequel isn't it grown-ups 3d who's not gonna check that out it would be who's not gonna be like well i tell you what grown-ups 2 was pretty good in 2d

can you imagine how deep and and the breadth of the characters in a 3D version of this movie I had a couple of options this weekend there was a new film out from the director of 12 Years a Slave Avatar 2 had just been released but then I saw Grown Ups 3D and I thought to myself

yeah I am going to treat myself this weekend I went up to the counter I bought a ticket to the IMAX viewing At 8.30 on a cheap Tuesday I bought a large popcorn And a large frozen coke And a choc-tot with nuts

You want to know something silly? We were in the cinema Where you get room service to your seat That's right Tim got a pizza And I had all that stuff I just bought before We were in the cinema where you get room service to your seat. That's right. Tim got a pizza, and I had all that stuff I just bought before, so I didn't order anything. I was full up, man.

And do you want to know the surprising thing? Everyone went in there a little bit cynical. Everyone thought, oh, yeah, we're going to ironically see this film. Genuine giggles in that. Yeah, absolutely. Genuine giggles in the session. When it went dark, Tim and I yelled out, give it a chance. And I feel like it really impacted the other people in our room service movie theatre. Because the thing is, not everyone's seen Grown Ups 2.

The prequel to the film we just saw 52 times in a row. But you want to know something? Me and Guy have. That's right. Oh my God. I'm so excited. This has got, got this is we have to lobby hollywood that grown-ups 3d must be released most the day after we do our 50 second podcast yes can you imagine the satisfaction oh my giddy aunt that i can't you know people sort of go there let me ask you something people wander through life term without having anything that lends purpose grown-ups 3d

being released the day after we watch grown-ups 252 times is the sort of satisfaction that only sort of your greats your albert einstein's you see emin hillary's people who have really achieved something they're the only ones who would feel that level of satisfaction surely let me ask you a question internet podcast listener how much would you pay for grown-ups 3d because if it gets made do you know how many times me and guy are going to watch it not 52 104 oh get that i'm Get that in there. I'm doubling down, bitches. We should start a Kickstarter to fund Grown Ups 3D. Imagine that. Here's what I want you to do. Two young bucks from New Zealand start a Kickstarter to fund a movie

that has already got guaranteed funding, surely. Well, if Kmart's got any sniff of the production coming up. The only hole in our otherwise perfect plan is that Hollywood might think that we look a little cynical. I mean, don't get me wrong. There's no doubt in my mind we could raise the money to make this movie. Yeah. It's whether or not Hollywood is willing to sign on

for what will obviously be a cynical 104 weeks of bad business. No, because here's the thing, Guy. A cynical dollar is the equivalent to a non-cynical dollar in u.s currency so what i'm saying is a dollar is a dollar is a dollar if people go to see the movie that we lobbied to get made on twitter because we hate the prequel so much this is totally plausible by the way this is totally a realistic here's what i want you to do i want you to go online and get on twitter and with the hashtag grownups 3d just throw a price out there and the price is the us dollar amount that you are willing to contribute

to get this production off the ground i would like you to do it now no one will understand the message you've just sent out but you've just put out for some reason 27 hashtag grown-ups 3d what the fuck is that about no one knows i tell you what this but we all know it's a good plot at the end i mean what have we got we've probably got 10 20 maybe 30 listeners tim and i retweet that that's i mean do you get the value of the hashtag twice i think that's how it works i mean thinkweet that that's I mean do you get the value of the hashtag twice? I think that's how it works I mean think of that that's how Twitter works that's 30 hashtag

that's $60? I mean this is is it a dollar per is that how the thing goes? it depends on how much people pledge you get about a dollar per person though right?

like roughly so if we both retweet it all it takes is that's 60 and then if they all retweet I don't think the money amplifies in value. I just think the hashtag...

Does that go to $3,600? Have I done the math on that right? You know what, Tim? How many dollars do we get from everyone retweeting with the hashtag GrownUps3D? Even I'm lost now. I think it's about four grand. Hey.

I think. Hey. I think. Hey. Should we just call it off? Grown Ups 3D or this podcast? Definitely not Grown Ups 3D. Just this podcast. This episode or the whole series? This episode.

Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, it's been a pleasure having you along for the ride. Listen, I know that we promised you T, an interview with Ice Cream Scoop Girl. But you got a pretty weird podcast instead. But here's what we're going to do with the remaining 90 seconds with the podcast. Very early on in this series, we promised to dig into the slogan. What? We've never explored it in any depth. so we're going to do it briefly i'm gonna i'll come

in with the quick overview so it goes tim meadows from saturday night live fame is introduced to the movie in the 15 minute infomercial that takes place for kmart and he goes you know the guys come in and they bully him because everyone in the city is mean to each other and every time they say a mean insult to him he goes what? So they're all standout comedians, everyone's got their gag that they pull out. Yeah, they're not standout comedians in this movie I can tell you. Anyways

he says what? Eventually his son Bumdy is introduced who also uses the catch phrase what? At the party at the end of the movie his wife is introduced who also uses the catchphrase what? At the party at the end of the movie, his wife is introduced who also uses the catchphrase what? At one point at the party, all three members of the family use their horrible catchphrase

what? So let's give an example. Let's structure a joke like they would in Grown Ups 2 where Tim Meadows is in one of the scenes. Hey Tim Bette. Who's Tim Meadows is in one of the scenes. Okay, okay. Hey, Tim Bette. Who's Tim Meadows in this? You are, but we'll...

Okay, cool. So you throw something. Okay, so let's do it. I'll be Tim Meadows. Okay. Mr. Meadows, your face looks stupid. Okay, do you know what?

I don't think you're quite getting the structure of how they've done it in the movie, so you're going to be Tim Meadows, okay done it in the movie so you're gonna be tim meadows okay okay um hey guy nice mustache would you steal that off a pedophile what yeah that's how the joke works that's right anyway just for no apparent reason other than the only thing this movie is missing is a catchphrase yeah you've got it in one, bro. That's all it is. They've gone, do you know what sells T-shirts?

A fucking catchphrase. Do you know what would be a sick, ironic T-shirt that would sell really well on Vintage Marketplace and in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, New York City? Please tell me. Is a T-shirt with a picture of Tim Meadows' face as that character and what written underneath it. Oh, my God. I would pay some serious... We've got to get the t-shirts made, man.

Dude. That could be a Kickstarter. Hand on heart, I would pay $250 for a t-shirt. Okay, now someone's going to make it and charge you that. What we should do is ask... We should make them. Yeah, we should do a Kickstarter, raise the money to make a what

t-shirt uh look there's so much obviously we've completely fucking flown off the handle in here right now um I blame Ant Timpson

I blame the 48 hour film competition I tell you what it's been the studio's falling apart it's been a good time this week uh and guess what 8 more days

till we have to watch the movie that feels pretty good I'm giving you a hug in celebration of that we're hugging right now I'm Guy Montgomery I'm Tim Baird and this is the worst

idea of all time catch you next week with special guest Tanya Aitken as Ice Cream Scoop Girl Love every day. Cause before you know it, your precious time slips away. Live every moment.