The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Eighteen - Bees and Ants

Episode Date: September 25, 2016

AIN'T SPONSORED BY BLAZE PIZZA YET, THAT'S FOR SURE!It's the second watch in one day and the boys are trying to talk about anything that isn't the movie. The Knife is back! Death Blart gets a shout out. The Maximum Joseph film maing philosophy is explored - It's every department out for themselves! Is Timbo on a No Fly list? What's on Guybo's internet history? How do you act eating a birthday cake? It's all under the intense spotlight this week. #PayTheBoiz #GetBlazedGetPaidTrailer: Boners of The Heart Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a Little Empire podcast. Visit us at littleempirepodcast.com and on Twitter at LittleEmpirePod. Are you going to play that dastardly intro again? Try, try, try, try, try, try, try. Ow! This movie's still fine. There's a colleague, a pastor. One of them dies, that guy's screw. One of them's a hottie, his name is Jay.

One of them looks like Johnny Depp, and his name is Johnny Depp. Classic Maximum Joseph Agree You forget that films are supposed to have a point You do forget that films are supposed to have a point You're very prone to doing that You're liable to forget a lot of stuff You've got a bit of a hazy memory

Would you agree or disagree with that? I would agree I agree What do you attribute that that? I would agree. I agree. What do you attribute that to? I don't know. People are different. That's what I attribute it to. Everyone's different.

They have different skills. That's true. You're very good at climbing. Thanks. You're welcome. Always list a skill next to a... You're good at running. Thank you.

I've seen it. Yeah. Seen it with my own two eyes, with my peepers in my head. I always, when I walk down the street, I always am sussing out everyone else and whether or not I think I'd beat them in a running race. At all times. Pretty much. Is it a scenario where you put it in your head that it could be a life or death moment?

No. Like it's going to come down to that race or you just want to boss them out? Just bossing them out. It's just a straight running race far out what about a physical fight do you decide i would lose no no that's why i'm more interested in the running element because ideally no one will be able to catch me and therefore i'll never have to be in a physical fight i see but if you could beat them in a fight that would work also i'm not excited i don't want to beat anyone in a fight, that would work also. I'm not an insider. I don't want to beat anyone in a fight. I'd rather be the fastest. There is something to knowing

that you could beat people in a fight, though. It's like all those martial arts dudes who they never get in a fight because they know they could kick anyone's ass, so as a result, they don't get all hot-headed about anything. That's weird. This is such a weird thing to do.

It's an extreme confidence with the world. I'm going to become the best person in the world at something and then pretty much not be able to use my skill. That's awesome. I guess the payoff of the skill is not having to employ it when you don't want to, isn't it? It's just a lot of trouble to go to to barely get to do something, to not really get to celebrate the thing.

I guess that's a very narrow vision of what martial arts training will give you. There are other payoffs as well. Like, you just become a calm person. Oh, of course. You know? Undoubtedly. You suss it out. But I don't assess people for strength.

I'm not interested in how strong you are. But I do wonder whether or not I could beat you across 100 meters. It's good to know. If you guys ever meet Guy Montgomery out in the wild, just know that when you first shake his hand he's not thinking of your name he's not thinking of your gender he's thinking could i beat this person in a one-on-one running race how many meters do you generally put in your head for that calculation 100 but i never mentioned the whole just a straight sprint i never imagined the whole 100 meters i just like imagine for about five seconds us running next to each other

and me pulling away from the person or them pulling away from me if I think they're faster than me. Gotcha. Just down to that delta. Wherever the change happens, that's what's in your head. Yeah. Interesting. Welcome to the worst idea of all time, episode 17?

That's right. Season 3. We've just watched the movie twice back to back, so spirits are not high. I don't want to put a depressing tinge on this episode too prematurely. I think we've got a lot of good stuff to unpack. You know, if you look at something twice, sometimes you see similar things, sometimes you see different things.

Yeah. I had a real interesting phenomenon in that second watch where I was really zoning in and out. Yeah, you were wavering. I came to. I thought we were at the end of the film because we were with So Millie back at the cafe. And I was like, oh, it's over.

It's great. And then it wasn't over because he hadn't even played Summerfest yet. And I kind of hadn't, like the last thing I could remember was Skrill dying. It was like I was at the funeral and then it was like, suddenly I was at the cafe. Yeah. And I could only remember a few key, the last thing I could remember was Squirrel dying. It was like I was at the funeral and then it was like, suddenly I was at the cafe.

Yeah. And I could only remember a few key things. Do you know what it was? It was when Squirrel died, we both, Squirrel dies and they call an ambulance, which doesn't make any, like, obviously you have to call an ambulance, but like you said, it's Occam's razor. I mean, the gents are all, they're in bits and pieces. They're absolutely confident that he's just unconscious.

Look, they're responding in a somewhat realistic way, but you've got to take a bit of cold, hard logic to the situation and go, what is more likely of the following two options? That our friend has been dead for quite a while and his untimely demise was met while we were asleep for several hours or that it's just happened and we just happened to coincidentally wake up at the right time that there was still a little bit of hope. And hope's all we've got in this crazy world, guys.

So I respect them for trying their best to resuscitate him, but yeah, you're right. At the time of this watch, I was just like, guys, it's over. I'd like to think about it it's over and then they um they don't deal with any of the mop-up of you know them having their friend die in their company there's no autopsy there'd be criminal charges i'm willing to wager a kid of squirrel's age 26 younger 23 23 dying at a party there's going to be an autopsy he's going to have a toxicology report a lot of questions being asked it's going to show up

a heady cocktail a heady brew to determine the cause of death and then the question becomes well where did he get a shit ton of a-class drugs drugs and maybe the finger should be pointed at the boys who hosted the party and live with them they are the drug dealers they are legitimately drug dealers there's hard evidence in the film showing yeah

of them dealing drugs we see it I'm sure the cops could make a case huge song and dance about it so here's what I'm doing if I'm Skrill's extended family I'm laying charges on Zicoli, Jarhead, Johnny Depp. Fuck you guys. You took my son prematurely.

He was an angel. He was the only one of you fucking morons that went to college. I told him to stop hanging out with you burners. And you got him in the end. And now I'm going to get you. You're going to prison. Do not collect go. I mean, do not collect $200.

Do not pass go. You're in jail. collect go i mean do not collect 200 do not pass go you're in jail instead they're at the they're not just at the funeral they're laying the first they're putting the first dirt on the on the coffin outrageous it's crazy who would allow that to happen that's a that's a family decision no family in the right mind would allow that. It's insanity. It's not right. And it really, really struck me this time, this watch. Not happy.

Not happy, guy. Fuck, it was not fun, eh? That one, that second one. We just completed. It was, yeah, it was okay. We did, there's a fun... Oh, we haven't mentioned our sponsor as well for this episode,

Blaze Pizza. Of course. Hashtag, how do you blaze? Yeah. Blaze Pizza, famous for their art is anal ingredients. Chuck them in a flash mob for three minutes. Make it go viral.

Make it go viral. Put it in your mouth. The viral heat from the number of times it will be viewed online cooks that pizza through in 180 seconds served to you fresh

only the freshest ingredients available at Blaze Pizza how do you blaze? how do you blaze? blazepizza.co.nz a domain name owned by me

hopefully to be used as leverage against domain against the the larger domain of Blaze Pizza. And when I say domain the second time, I mean it in the kingdom sense of the word.

They are masters of their own domain. We want a bit of the kingdom. Indeed. But what I did enjoy was the knowledge watching it. We've been doing a lot of research, obviously, on the making of the film. Yes. Try and feed the mind.

Reading up. Absolutely. Digging through the back catalogue, and feed the mind reading up absolutely digging through the back catalogue digging through the scripts wikipedia imdb yeah um that guy who died who used to review all the films who has that cool website roger ebert there we go yeah.com absolutely uh we went on wiki leaks and they had a bunch of stuff about emails back and forth about the movie and um they probably do actually because wasn't this a Sony thing? I don't know.

If it was anything to do with Sony, there will be some shit out there. I haven't actually visited WikiLeaks. Is it just like Wikipedia, only with leaked information? Well, no, it's structured differently. Okay. Well, it's a misleading title.

Well, it's not. The Wiki bit just indicates that lots of people have contributed. Yeah, I know, but most people aren't very smart, and we don't know that, so we expect a service. What would you prefer WikiLeaks to be called, Guy? I don't want to be called anything else.

I just want the website to fulfill its name, which is to be structured and... Yeah, I mean, it's similar. It's not identically... Then change the name, because... Well, Wikipedia... I'm not going to get into this with you I will not take the bait

today it's pretty simple not today death but so and through this quick shout out for death blood as well

that's coming up real soon yeah I think that's in roughly 70 days now oh no shit 63 days ish yeah

who knows when this episode will come out. American Thanksgiving, episode 2. Till death do us blight. At Death Blight on Twitter for regular countdown updates. And deathblight.com, I think. Anyhow. I would do anything to not talk about the movie this episode. I am trying to make a point to you, sir.

And that was, through our research, we found out that Maximum Joseph employed a very interesting directorial technique on set wherein he pitted each individual department of his crew against one another for different shooting days. In a gladiatorial battle of the creative industries. Yeah. And so essentially a department could win a shoot. One department would win each scene. Each scene in the movie, there is a shoot. One department would win each scene. Each scene in the movie, there is a winner.

So it could have been art department. It could have been hair and makeup. Could have been costume. Could have been catering. Could have been casting. You don't want catering to win because it means everyone looks well fed.

Yeah, but no one's doing better than catering. They're easy to beat. They are easy to beat. Catering?ing well it's not very flashy is it no i mean they didn't splurge on the catering why is there not an oscar for catering that is a very good question because uh that's you know you're nourishing the environment of the set it's so important you are absolutely services are instrumental to a good production like you an army marches on its stomach you know who said that famous director maximum joseph that is when he was leading a battalion in a war that i can't recall which one it was when i get tied into the geopolitical situation in any particular area, so we were skirted specificity.

I like that. I like that you skirted around specifics. And it's really nice to watch a movie where you know more about how it was... I mean, I can see why behind-the-scenes stuff works now, because knowing that, you can really see that... If you look, you can actually see in the background of frame the different departments physically fighting each other. Yeah.

On the set. Shit got real messy. Yeah. They used real blood from one of the second ADs on Zuccoli's face for the special effects makeup after he gets punched by James Reed from The Feelers. Yeah, which they actually split the point for that between makeup for punching the AD and production for providing the blood for the makeup. And that was the only case where there was a tie break.

It's the only tie. It's the only tie in the whole damn thing. Some other notable departments that won in this film, obviously music, music and soundtracking. Yeah. They won a couple. They won a lot, actually. Yeah.

I haven't seen the final tally, but I suspect it's possible they might have been the overall winner of the film. It wouldn't surprise me. Casting did well. They got Zac Efron, would we say, in his prime? Yeah, absolutely. I'd say near the peak of his career, a peak of sorts. That is a coup.

A real coup. They managed to throw all of the money of the film in his face and get him to sign on the dotted line, so well done to casting. They won a couple of scenes. As well they should have. And what other departments do you have, really? Electrical, lighting.

Lighting, yeah. The sound recordists. Yeah. Who were there on the day. You got the offline sound doing the additional dialogue recording. Data wrangling. Data wrangling. Now we're just listing.

All the guys organizing hard drives. I see what you're doing. You're sucking me into this vortex where you just list different elements of a crew instead of talking about the movie. I'm just building a map. I'm building a Wikipedia-like map for you. I see. Because I know how much you love that layout. You're trying to scramble my brains, huh? You can just see everything out in the open, out in one page.

No, I don't like it. I don't like this weird trance-like list you have me under. That's fine. We'll move forward. The point is Maximum Joseph is applying some sort of free market economics to the extreme libertarian approach to filmmaking, which I respect the hell out of. With mixed results.

But you've got to admire someone for trying something very different. Most directors bring kind of a bit of a socialist atmosphere where everyone's pulling in one direction. Maximum Joseph's like, you are all in competition with each other. The best ideas will win out. This is a free market of ideas.

That's right. And the losing department at the end of each day, he'd melt all of their equipment, whether it be the sound equipment or the makeup equipment. He'd render it down into a staff. He'd melt it, yeah, into a staff, and he'd walk around with that staff the next day. And then award it to the winning team in total points from that day's shoot.

It was brutal and expensive. Because you can't get by without the shoot. It was brutal. And expensive. Because you can't get by without the equipment. It keeps melting down and rendering. And health and safety were really up our asses on this one because, I mean, if you've got an open furnace on set at the end of every day when people are already pulling overtime, that is a very dangerous... It's an open...

I can't even size how open this furnace is enough. It's a very hot open pit environment that's hot enough to melt half the days were outside shoots they used jetline fuel to melt it all it's the only thing known to get hot enough to melt all that equipment

steel beams and all you're going to get put on a list I am probably already on one you reckon what do you maybe just from what i click around on would you be cool with your google history being published after you died uh yeah yeah i think that'd be fine i don't always get that how people are like oh fuck you gotta clear my history if I'm dying. It's like, what are people? What are you guys doing?

Like, I read a lot of wacky shit, but most of my stuff's just embarrassing in that I've got kind of like strange interests. Like, I read a lot of stuff about what's happening with American politics and that. But there's nothing like, I don't think there's anything shameful in that internet history. How about you? Yeah, I don't think there's anything shameful in that internet history.

How about you? Yeah, I'm very similar. Mine will be mostly embarrassing in the sense that I've just got like a really short circuit online where I'll be like in some sort of time hole on a different website, whether it be Facebook or YouTube or Twitter. Going to click hole. Yeah, click hole. It'll just have me in his grips for like

really long and then i'll close it down and i'll be like okay now to do some work yeah and then my muscle memory will just open a new tab and go to exactly the same web page i was just on yeah well that's not so bad i think everyone's just at the moment we've got to find a way out of that i think collectively as the society i think we're at a bad point where everything's gotten, like all the websites are designed pretty good at drawing us in and keeping us there. Like everything's refreshing just enough so that we're just never off of it. So we're going to need to start to pull back collectively, I think,

make some decisions for ourselves. It really is the opposite of newspapers, isn't it? Oh, how good's a newspaper? You grab it, you sit down, you thumb through, you're relaxed, it's going at your pace, nothing's like You browse the classifieds, apply for a private detective job,

assume a new identity, change your name by deed poll, move out to a swamp, start investigating a family with a suspicious past. There were three kids, but when they moved into town, there were only two. Has anyone called you to this potential mystery

or have you just sort of found it? You just needed to change. So you become a PI and then you just kind of look around for suspicious activity rather than being... You're unsanctioned. What you're doing is pretty borderline. Not hired by anyone yeah far out that's one way to do it create your own work guys it doesn't just apply to artists it applies to everyone yeah

be the change you want to see in the world if you want to see more private detectives in the world and more importantly change the bee you are in the world. Yeah. The bees are dying. They need to adapt. Life finds a way, and so should you. How are the bees going to adapt? I'm not sure. Maybe they'll find a way to live underwater.

That is so unlikely. I mean, that is such a huge, it's a quantum leap in the evolution of the bee. If you think about it though wax is definitely waterproof like water beads off beeswax it does don't look at me incredulously surely that's true so if you created a whole like hive i guess the problem is circulation of air if you made a tunnel though that went up to the water like a big tube like a snorkel for, then they could kind of exist below the water where there'd be less predators. I'm ignoring the fact that there's sharks and stuff.

And then they could, like, circulate the air up and down that way. That'd be pretty cool. What if bees teamed up with ants and then they hung out under the earth together, kind of like what hornets do, but less arsehole-y? What if the bees and the ants did figure out a team up you know that would be unstoppable way because the god damn god damn what a team hey there's a real flash of inspiration in tim's eyes i want everyone to know just then it would be uh you

know how everyone has makes these sci-fi movies that involve nanobots that are just kind of autonomous tiny little particles that can come together into any shape and do whatever. Like the T-1000. Like Missingo. What's Missingo? From Pokemon. Oh, is it a nanobot? No.

You just throw Missingo in there. That's the glitch one, eh? Yeah, it just mirrors whatever it sees. Yeah, that's dope. Well Well nanobots could do anything though Oh they've got total freedom Yeah So that's like the ants I reckon You know

They're tiny little parts And they could kind of build together To build a bigger ant Or different things Bigger ant is still tiny though I feel like the bees Would be their masters That's not what this collaboration is about

yeah that's true do you feel it's more egalitarian yeah well i just think they both turn to each other to survive the bees could produce so much energy for the ants like just honey honey for days and what would the ants be bringing to the party do you think uh they'd be digging the under underground passages for the they are fucking good at that actually for the bees to go flying through yeah fucking A

why don't the bees and the ants get together I think it's a language barrier it's a real shame the ants aren't under threat either like there's there's not a shared

sort of burden for survival there because I think the ant spoil accounts are going to be sweet the bees are getting real effed up though because of that

Monsanto spray. Is that what it is? That's what they reckon. What's Monsanto spray? Well, it's like pesticides, you know, to keep all the crops free of things that'll eat away at all the crops. But it's a

side effect. It's killing all the bees. Well, we better stop using that pesticide. Well, you'd think we would have figured that out by now. But somehow, we haven't. It's just hard to break the chain. Once everything's up and running, you're like, what am I going to do? Not buy this lettuce? I'm probably going to buy the lettuce.

That's what it boils down to. Where Are Your Friends is a film. It's a movie. it's an experience you just said the same thing twice four guys you are struggling rolling around my shining light this week uh oh i did have one i thought of it at the time oh good on you fuck that was a good system. I really should have written it down. I knew I was going to get lost on a swamp of ants and bees. And frustration, I think, is another word for that conversation.

Have you got one off the top of your dime? You don't, eh? Of course not. You certainly don't know. That movie, by all accounts. I've got a low light. I'll share that. Yeah, please.

Just the last few watches, the text that comes on screen That movie, by all accounts. I've got a low light. I'll share that. Yeah, please. Just the last few watches, the text that comes on screen when we get introduced to Paige's work, Gold Star Realty Solutions, Mouthful of Concrete, Dick Full of Diamonds, the typeface they use really started to get at me. Fucking stupid. Yeah?

Yeah. It changes up quite a bit. It changes a bit. Yeah yeah first it's like this um font that's trying to mirror like kids uh magnets on a fridge yeah it's very colorful and it's got that kind of this is rounded uh i forget what the term is curling i think does it say the word life in my life yeah in my life i do. In my life. I do not believe in anything that is not concrete. Yeah, so all of those other words that aren't life are done in this kind of fucking,

it's almost like an ariel, but even shitter than that. It's not good. Don't like it. Didn't mind it when it started, and now for some reason I've taken massive exception to it. You're a big meanie well i get fair i have seen the film 16 times this year yeah but that being said doesn't have

to make me a fan of the type there's stuff that i still find fine about the film a lot of the song choices i think are pretty dope the songs that you they'll always get you tapping your feet they really to begin with they really help whip through the movie but now they just pace it yeah they can't quite accelerate time like they once did it's not the songs are playing at a different speed don't get me wrong the songs are playing at exactly the same pace as they were at the beginning uh what's happening is our reaction to the pictures that are moving with the sound. Yeah, let me make that perfectly clear. We are watching exactly the same piece of media week in, week out.

When we speak about it being different, that's on us. That's fair. Not on it. That is fair. It seems obvious, but I feel like every now and then we just need to take a step back and point that out. It's easy to say, but I don't really believe. I know that's true, but I don't believe in that.

Okay, I'm going to float something and see if it counts as a shining light because I've got a feeling it doesn't. The looking pool, just as a pool, is a great pool. And especially because we've got an empty pool to compare it to, which is the one at Jahid's house. Jahid and Zicole and Jadad and Dad Mum's house. And it's ridiculous because we know it's the middle of summer because of Johnny Depp and the leather jacket.

And, I mean, they're working on this pool a little bit. Yeah. But it's never got anything. It's just a wasted pool for the whole summer. It is in summer too, isn't it? And that thing's empty. Yes. And dirty.

So you can tell it hasn't had water in it for a little while. So a good pool. A great pool. Yeah. Second pool in the movie would probably be the pool at the house they rent where Squirrel dies. That is also a very good pool. Yeah. Of the three pools, that's the middle pool.

Whoever the realtor was who was showing that house did it. That pool was just right. The first pool was too looky. So we went to the other pool and the last pool was too empty. So then we tried the middle pool and the middle pool was just right.

Who were you embodying then? The storyteller of Goldilocks. Yeah. Who were you embodying then? The boys? The storyteller of Goldilocks. Okay. Sorry, the narrator. Yeah. You know. I feel you. Voice of God.

But yeah, the Realtor did a good job maintaining that pool when they were showing it to potential buyers. Did we ever talk about how we went to an open home somewhere in LA? I think we may have covered that. I'm not sure. Tell it again, though, we can briefly get into a bit of that. That's pretty cool we were just driving around

some random we were somewhere real ritzy I feel like we were in Beverly Hills we were in some sort of hills just driving around we had some time to kill before we had to do something so we were just having a look around the neighbourhood and we drove past an open home so we pulled up

the driveway it's quite a long driveway yeah and had a bloody had a gander yeah had a gander around the house and tim tim was very focused on uh getting high high speed internet cables in there oh yeah well you keep asking you keep asking the realtor about the internet the way to lie successfully is you've got to add a bit of specificity in there to throw people so like he was like what do you think of the house i'm like looks pretty good is it is it wired for uh cable i can't remember what his answer was but that's not the salient bit the bit is you know you got to throw a little specific backstory a little salt and pepper yeah spice up that plot otherwise you're just obviously two decades from new zealand wasting a realtor's time and the property that was worth how much was like seven million dollars

or something not seven million dollars surely not there's too many million dollars yeah you might be right it was it was several million dollars the thing is the great thing was going into open homes is they've got no idea who you are yeah you could like anyone anyone up a bit of backstory as well didn't we yeah i think so uh i think a traveling gay couple who were involved in the movies maybe it was i mean we yeah good times though it's fun to pretend and he he did a good job as well of maintaining the pool in that house, so it could have been the same realtor. The one who showed us around the house was the one who rented that house to Jahid. Right.

And the boys. Yeah. Yeah, okay. But Jahid was the one who signed the lease. You're correct. Yeah, yeah. Gotcha. Gotcha.

It's a small world, isn't it? It sure is when you start connecting dots furiously that may or may not exist and definitely don't because you're intermingling the real world with a fictional universe you've created based on a movie that isn't even real anyway. It's a very small world. Shining light from you, Guy.

Are you going to green light the pool thing? Am I going to get away with that? Yeah, it absolutely i'm never vigilant on policing shining lights so only anyone grab onto any life raft cool cool cool uh and oh god i'm gonna oh i tell you what it is it's the amount of fruit um that somaly and uh james reed from the feelers keep in their house uh by the way the feelers if you're looking for an entry point into some of their music, what was the... Pressure Man? Pressure Man.

Pressure Man's a good one. Oh, no, that was... Well, I don't know what album that one's on. It might have been the name of the album. Supersystem is the big album that they put out. Anyway, that was James Reid's band before he started DJing. And in their house, the night after they take PCP and Zicoli wakes up in their lounge,

they have an unholy... There's only two people living in this house, mind you, so bear that in mind. They have two bowls, two huge bowls, like display bowls that are overflowing with fruit. And there's just no way that they could get through all of that fruit without some of it spoiling. It's like the opposite of that Bible story where Jesus has to feed

hundreds of people with two loaves and three fish, maybe. It's like the opposite of that. It's two people in a house and an infinite amount of fruit. Yeah. I'll tell you what, as I understand it, the set dressing people really won the scene on that day. They did win the scene on that one. Ironically, the prize was all of the fruit,

and they had to eat it in front of everyone. They had to really gorge themselves. It was pretty uncomfortable watching. Yeah, and it was weird too, because Maximum Joseph's just looking for a contest anywhere. He then put that scene that was unfolding in real life of all these set dresses having to consume so much fruit he made them do that while they were shooting the scene where james reed of the feelers

and zecolia eating the birthday cake and then made that an eat off which was weird one being filmed one being just off of the sound stage where it was being filmed and i tell you what man disgusting to what like stomach churning to be involved in you're looking to your left and you're seeing people blow in the face with bananas like these are great these are people you respect you work with these people day in day out and the vomiting and it's like a fibrous gooey fruit filled mess and the smell is what gets you because there's a lot of sickly sweet that kind of fructose sugar that's in the vomit. It's quite pungent.

It really pierces the air. So you try to look away and all you're seeing is James Reid from The Feelers just stuffing his face with birthday cake. Take after take. And that guy's method. He is a child of the Stanislavski School of Method Acting. He is getting involved in every take. He's smashing that shit in his face. And he doesn't have a spit bucket.

He doesn't believe in it. Because it's just like James Dean. He said, do you know how you act smoking a cigarette? You just smoke a cigarette. Do you know how you act eating birthday cake? You just eat the cake. Take after take after take. Disgusting.

It was a hard day on set tell you what do you want to know who won that day as well it's the fucking cleaners they did an immaculate job of getting those floors back to pristine condition so much vomit apparently they rivaled disneyland for the amount of sawdust they used that day on set one day shooting incredible i tell what else incredible is that the stats team that keeps those metrics who measure the amount of sawdust disneyland use against every film set all over the world shooting all the time i mean the the hard men and women who work you know at that stats bureau not a lot's been doing absolutely and i mean no one asks for that work and they why isn't

there a stats oscar they do it anyway why isn't there a stats os they why isn't there a stats Oscar they do it anyway why isn't there a stats Oscar why isn't there a stats Oscar why isn't there a catering Oscar I'm sick of us just parading around the prettiest looking people who are doing an important job of many there's a lot of important components in making a film feeding people

is one of them cleaning up the vomit from a jewel eat off is another yeah the shit is important those thankless tasks it's critical it's critical and there should be an oscar for that i i couldn't i couldn't agree more i mean you i think you should be a podcast oscar as well i think there should be um a web movie review Okay, you're running out of steam now. You're happy with the first two. There should be an Oscar for best book tie-in to a movie that gets released.

Only if it's unofficial. Not canon. Yeah, if it doesn't have the actual backing. Okay. That's the only way it becomes eligible. Is that because then it's kind of its own product? Yes. Okay, I like that. kind of its own product? Yes. Okay, I like that.

Best adapted... Best unofficial... Best adapted spin-off book. Unauthorized. Very good, very good. Should we dust off the old MacBook Pro box? Absolutely. It's just where I was headed as well.

Of course, this segment, as all of our segments, is brought to you by the hard working team At Blaze Blaze Pizza Pizza, that's right So if you are driving past a Blaze pull in Grab yourself a slice, it's really good stuff Take a photo there and tag us in with Blaze Pizza

Use the hashtag Get Blazed, Get Paid G'day mate, my name's Hungry Johnny and I'm in the mood for pizza. There's only one place I'll ever go and that's Blaze Pizza. Hashtag how do you blaze? Hashtag artisanal ingredients. Hashtag use the sauce, a crowd sauce to heat your pizza. Thanks, Hungry Johnny.

Thank you, Blaze Pizza. Blaze on. Getting sentimental with james reed that's right uh as always james reed has he can't help himself he's an emotional soul and uh i think his role as mentor uh means that zicoli winds up mimicking a lot of his emotional behaviors as well as professional behaviors and that's probably i think you can trace some of the birth of the crying dj back to that mentor uh student mentee relationship yeah mentee mentor better man toss freshness mentor better when mantis fresh and full of life that was truly one of the premier uh mentor for higher services until they lost all their money in a legal battle with Mentos

unsurprisingly they were really headed into a headwind asking for it but James Rigg gets a little sentimental and he buys a gift for Ziccoli what we know about the gift is it's within the dimensions of a MacBook Pro box, it's self-serving and he bought it for

Ziccoli on account of getting a little sentimental sentimental sentimental as in mintos, not as in mentors or de-mentors Tim, will you care to speculate as to what in God's name is inside of that box? I'm so glad you

asked, obviously what's happened here is it's a voucher that is sitting inside of the MacBook Pro box and to try and match the weight as well it's been carved out onto a piece of

how do you say titanium and what it is is for a group counselling session for three sessions with one of the premier shrinks in Hollywood for Somaly James Reid from the Feelers and zikoli to go together to try and figure this threesome out that they've established oh when i say threesome i don't necessarily mean in a sexual way though i don't not mean that just to unpack the the

emotional pressure cooker that they've all put themselves inside of together absolutely there's so much tension professional tension sexual that is very much a self-serving but generous gift because he's welcoming Ziccoli into the relationship fray. Yeah. It's not a knee-jerk reaction. It's not his first reaction. You know, he's been lucid, calm. He's looked at the best way to problem-solve the situation

that they've landed themselves in. He's shown a bit of vulnerability. Yeah. He's sentimental. Yeah. Let's get sentimental. Yeah. Yeah. Now I guess we all know a little bit more about the backstory of the crying DJ.

And now, time for our segment, which we call No But. Brought to you by Blaze Pizza. Blaze Pizza! I'm going to have a hamburger. No but, I should have Blaze pizza. Hashtag Blaze pizza. Hashtag how do you Blaze? At Blaze pizza on Twitter.

We're back, baby! You better believe it. With a fucking vengeance. You called out a moment that we noticed was clearly improvised during the movie. Can you remember what that was? Fuck no. Gosh darn it. Absolutely not. You're on the nose too

we both went strong and we both went in two different directions that fork in the road fuck what was it um i mean take your pick really a lot of it is clearly just vibe the menu is open yeah exactly close your eyes put your finger on a bit it'll all work yeah it'll all work but it's clearly just vibe. The menu is open. Yeah, exactly. Close your eyes, put your finger on a bit, it'll all work. Yeah. It'll all work. Squirrel and Zicoli down by the water.

They're leaning back on a log, smoking a joint. Sort of, I think their brief would have been, hey, can you guys please establish some sort of emotional bond in this bit? Something that will humanise both of you and create the illusion of depth for our audience who are hopefully, at this point, still on board with the story we're trying to tell. Also, just to add another dimension to it,

while we are shooting that just off screen, we're also going to have a man riding a donkey in the most emotional way that he knows how to try and rival who can generate the most rise out of an audience. That's right. We're taping both of them. Only you guys are going to make the film, but they're both going to attest to audience,

and that is one of today's several competitions. Do you know what? Actually, that is such a good idea. I'm going to give the award for best contribution to the scene today to myself, the director. That's my first victory. Well done, me. Maximum Joseph.

Maximum Joseph's magnum opus. Truly living up to its name. And while Maximum Joseph wasum Joseph's magnum opus truly living up to its name and while Maximum Joseph was going out of his mind and delivering

the speech to himself Zicoli and Squirrel were left to their own devices to just have a conversation

which was largely about how freaky they were finding the whole experience working with Maximum Joseph of course the cameras were rolling

this was all part of Maximum Joseph's directing technique and what they captured was improvised in a sense it was more just Maximum Joseph. Of course, the cameras were rolling. This was all part of Maximum Joseph's directing technique. And what they captured was improvised in a sense. It was more just a real conversation spliced in with shot footage, acting footage. Film technique that he's coined, freak them out, cut it out, which is when you scare the living bejesus out of the cast you're working with,

get them to free run for a bit, and then just take little slithers of that and cut it together so that it works in the conf out of the cast you're working with, get them to free run for a bit, and then just take little slithers of that and cut it together so that it works in the confines of the film. Freak him out, cut it out. Yeah, it's a brave technique. It is. But he's a visionary.

You can't doubt that. He's one of a kind, I'll tell you that. Truly he is. Truly he is. Jesus Christ. Any other... I've got not a lot of juice left in my canisters, bro. Well, then the only thing left for us to say is thank you to our sponsor, Blaze Pizza.

Please take a selfie of yourself right now. I don't care where you are. And tag in at guy underscore mont. Is that right? Shit. At Tim underscore bat, B-A-T-T. And at Blaze Pizza, all one word. We'll retweet everything.

We will retweet everyone that we're tagged in. And if you can fit the hashtag in there, how do you blaze? But the most important thing is give us a bit of background as to where you are, what you're doing. That's what I want. That's what Blaze Pizza wants. And we are only here to fulfill their creative brief. to where you are, what you're doing. That's what I want. That's what Blaze Pizza wants. Let's take the fight. And we are only here to fulfill their creative brief. Let's take the fight to that 180-second fire they've got.

We're taking it to their doorstep, folks. We are the people's army. And you are also the people's army. We are the people's army. And we'll be back next week as your commanders-in-chief to report back on our findings from watching where are your friends for the millionth time look after yourselves and each other there's a springer that's what jerry spring used to say classic Maximum Joseph you forget that films are supposed to have a point

thanks for listening to this Little Empire podcast if you're thirsty for another, why not try Boners of the Heart? Boners of the Heart And in St. Thomas Fire, he looks very iron deficient, and that is actually a big attraction for me. Men who look iron deficient. Men with

dark bags under their eyes. What's wrong with that? Nah, nothing's wrong with it. It's just a very specific thing to find attractive about a person.