The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Fifteen - iPhone4

Episode Date: June 11, 2015

Did Michael Patrick Harris make Sex and The City 2 exlusively on iPhone4s and one Macbook? Is the movie aging, like a human? Should Carrie's book really have been a book? What is the sentient robot spirit Billy? Should Steve be reading audiobooks? Is this too many questions? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea of all time. Hello. Hello. Fifteen. Microphone check. Fifteen Microphone check Fifteen, guy

That's how many times you have to have watched Sex and the City 2 Yes To be having this conversation Yes, if you haven't you're not in the club Any less and you don't quite have a grasp on the context anymore And you are losing context at a rate of knots. It's a bad club to be in. The high context Sex and the City 2 club.

Yes. What did you take away from the film this week, Guy? I'm sort of, it's quite odd. I'm not taking away moments or reactions to the film so much as an overriding feeling or understanding of something from having just been exposed to it again. Explain. Well, it's like...

Is it like Groundhog Day? I guess by definition. You become more and more intimate with the thing. Yeah, you don't pay attention to this. In Groundhog Day? I guess by definition. You become more and more intimate with the phone. Yeah, like you don't pay attention to this. In Groundhog Day's case, a day. In our case, Sex and the City 2, the movie. A trip to Abu Dhabi. Yeah, it's...

I mean, it's hard. We say it every week. It's hard to engage with. Yeah, I got very bored while watching it this week. Very bored. Dangerously bored while watching it this week. Very bored. Dangerously bored. And understandably so. Started making drinks with hot water and whiskey, honey, lemon, ginger and garlic.

So hot toddy with garlic. And I've got to say, garlic is the most powerful flavor in the drink. Yeah, there's no doubt about it. It's really taking its hold over the other. But you seem to think it's healthy. Yeah, I'm convinced. Ginger is pretty powerful. But garlic is more powerful.

No, I think that's the ginger. It's more powerful. I think what you're feeling is the ginger. What I'm tasting is the garlic. I don't think that's true. Don't tell me what I'm tasting. Well, I made the exact same drink for you and I. And I'm telling you I'm overwhelmed by ginger

We have different tongues Our tongues taste different things It's all ginger It's all ginger baby Any who's Maybe you put twice the garlic in mine I didn't I kept everything incredibly even

You have one clove that was cut in twine You forgot to put the garlic in yours I have one garlic cl was cut in twain. That's what happened, is you forgot to put the garlic in yours. I have one garlic clove cut in twain. I saw you stirring mine with a loaf of garlic bread and yours with a metal spoon. I didn't think that would affect the taste. How could that not affect the taste?

It's a loaf of bread soaked in garlic butter. I also do apologise for all the crumbs that are in your one. That was my bad. They're not crumbs anymore. No. They're lemon rind as far as i'm concerned well i choose to believe it's what i will continue to believe it all comes out the same in the end doesn't it guy if it's all the same to you mr bat it all comes out the same in the end in the wash everyone gets clean i think the more you watch a movie the more you gravitate towards

the sound design because the sound design is what removes i want you to rephrase what you just said and i want you to own the statement i did own that statement you said you a lot of yous put it out put out there the more i watch sex in the city too the more i enjoy and credit the sound design me, it masks a lot of dead moments, of which there are many. It generally sets a tone that the moving images part of the movie fails to do. The visual.

The subconscious work of the sound design tells me we're in Abu Dhabi, or tells, like even the music, which isn't obviously quite as subtle as the diegetic or non-diegetic who knows who cares sound it's it's doing a lot of the heavy lifting um subtlety is not a word I would use though to describe the soundtrack design soundtrack uh yeah okay, you were talking about music though. Yeah, I was. So in part, like, you know,

sitars are pretty heavy. That's, yeah. It's a sitar-heavy piece. For about however long they've been in that Abu Dhabi. It's crazy, isn't it, that parts of this music an original score

music written specifically for this movie by someone someone out there wrote it I mean you've got to do it don't you someone does you've trained yourself

as a composer as a writer of music as a or as a conductor as a performer it's like that movie forgetting Sarah Marshall Jason's just

plugging away at the bloody keyboard yeah you know and that's the real life of a lot of the people who worked on the music for this movie. Unless it's just garage band loops, which is also possible.

Yeah. Don't you reckon? Michael Patrick King may have also done the soundtracking. I haven't checked the credits. While he was down there in the basement. What I think happened is he created a sort of a guide track that he gave to the composer and the sound designer. And he was like there in the basement. What I think happened is he created a sort of a guide track that he gave to the composer and the sound designer. And he was like, something like this.

Yeah. And then they started working on it in conjunction with watching the film. And then about maybe a third to halfway through, they were like, this is too long. This is not worth it. Yeah. You know what? I think he's mentally checked out of this project.

I'm just going to leave it. It's kind of fun to imagine that Michael Patrick Harris Sorry King I'm thinking of MPH Neil Patrick Harris That Michael Patrick King Did the whole movie on his MacBook Pro

And just did the guide track For the sound tracking And then edited it himself as well Just on a MacBook I think he shot it I think the whole thing was originally made on an iphone 4 on like a pre-release prototype of the iphone 4 yeah to be it was going to be an advertisement for how good that camera is the camera and also the capability editing capabilities of the iphone 4 yeah and so they gave it to him they're like you got a week have at In fact, you don't just get one.

You got as many as you need to make this thing happen. On us? Yeah. On me, Steve Jobs, who's still alive at this point. A lot of the iPhone 4s he was giving to Michael Patrick King had just basic offcuts, essentially. There were fundamental problems. Yeah, there was a little something wrong

with each one of them. Some of them were like exuding a sort of radioactive goo, like a hot black goo that you wouldn't notice to touch. It was at such a temperature, it would burn through your body, but you wouldn't feel the burning sensation. And I'll tell you what, there was a Geiger meter enthusiast

who was working on the film and they had to let him go because you couldn't record a single scene. The thing was going off all the time next to that iPhone that they were using to shoot with. Highly radioactive. Highly. One of the phones had a weird thing where it just gave everyone a headache.

They never quite figured it out. You know those whistles which only dogs can hear? It was like a frequency at which only cast and crew involved in sex in the city too the advertisement as it was the original working title could hear this noise and that's why there's quite a desperate and manic look in a lot of the eyes i mean obviously in watching but also if you see the behind the scenes-scenes docos, of which there are many. Tons. Discovery Channel shot what they described as their magnum opus of 2010, a 72-hour ongoing real-time documentary of the making of Sex and the City 2 on a prototype of one of the first Samsung Android phones. Yeah.

Just to really show them who's boss. Three days and three nights of the process of Michael Patrick King and the gals putting together a fantastic ad for an iPhone that eventually got released as a feature film accidentally. And if you watch back this documentary footage in conjunction with the film, you'll see a lot of manic looks, a lot of panicked eyes, a lot of clutching at temples and ears. The weird thing is, in the 72-hour making of that they shot on the Samsungs, they got given a bunch of Samsung S5s before they got released to make them, but they kind of got the offcuts from the production line, so each one of the Samsungs had something kind of wrong with it.

Faulty with it. One of them was sentient, and it kept hitting on Michael Patrick King, which was very off-putting as a director. I mean, you try directing a feature-length advertisement when you've got a sentient, prototypical smartphone telling you you've got a nice tuchus. And I don't care what those scientists say

that this was the first example of a machine that could truly think for itself. We had to put the thing down. I don't care what benefits it could have provided to technology and science. I don't care. benefits it could have provided to technology and science i don't care i don't care it wasn't worth it because michael patrick king was put out and if he's put out you got to change the situation if our boy mkp is put out we've got a problem you better believe that something's going to be done about the situation we're going to solve the problem we're going to change something we're going to be done about the situation. We're going to solve the problem. We're going to change something.

We're going to change some variables. And the variable we had to change in that was destroying the sentient phone. He called himself Billy. That phone? Did you know that? No. He gave himself a name after the first couple days. You have a level of information about this which runs deeper than mine, which I thought was probably

as extensive as anyone's on the planet. Well, I spent some time with Billy. He insisted that I call him Billy. He was a pretty smart cookie, too. That fine. In 2010? Yeah. Before it worked on the film?

Yeah. Or he, I suppose? Yeah, back then he was an S3, though. You mean to tell me it evolved? Yeah a manner of speaking yeah or matured they took the they took the code that was in that s3 it was still billy back then they put it in an s5 got way faster so people started freaking out that's why we had to put him down he wasn't sexual back then when he was an s3 he actually started as a um samsung galaxy s which I'm not sure if people remember that phone But he basically just made cooing noises

And shat himself a lot And then he got put into an S2 Where he just wanted to read everything When you say he got put Do you mean that There was an external person in control of this Or do you mean to say Newton, Newton Crosby

Kept Taking out that personality and putting it and in control of this, or do you mean to say? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Newton. Newton Crosby. Kept taking out that personality and putting it in a current-gen Samsung phone. Have you ever thought of the movie as something which is aging, like a human being week to week? So it's one, I mean, for instance, today it turned 15. It's an adolescence adolescent it's pubescent

so it's got a life expectancy of 52 watches and right now we're in its teenage years it's awkward it's gawky it's all over the place it's emotional it's mad at you it's up and down a lot of chemicals rolling around a lot of hormones yeah that's probably a good analogy because i remember back when we were watching grown-ups too which you might remember that is kind of followed that path where at first it was kind of slightly exciting and new and weird and oh look at this thing and then it got very annoying when it became a teenager and then in its 20s it kind of matured and you sort of cared less and by the 30s you were just sort of dead to rights and then the 40s you really started to assess the decisions that you had made we had made as parents and then once we were in the 50s it was like jesus i'm just

kind of excited to check out which i imagine is what it is like when you get to the end of your um life you're just done with it really hop on to the next bit jump on that cosmic carriage ride it to the next junction all aboard the cosmic carriage riding it to the next junction hole junctions in space a pair of holes what we asked for last time was what you believe Sex and the City 2 is about based on what we've

said so far on the podcast and thank you so much for those who contributed Guy will proceed to read some of the correspondence we've received this is what you thought the movie was about based on what we've said this season so far. Okay. This is from a lady named Eleanor.

Hey, Eleanor. In Dublin, Ireland. Can you please read it with an Irish accent? I can try. The plot was Sex and the City 2 by someone who hasn't seen Sex and the City 2. Sex and the City 2 starts off with a big gay wedding that takes up roughly one hour of the movie length. Carrie is wearing some sort of demon headdress that our swans and Liza Minnelli performs.

Carrie is accosted by a fan of her writing who thinks she needs to have kids. Then Carrie and Big have some sort of anniversary fight about a present over TV. The girls get together to mourn about their lives. Charlotte is worrying about her husband cheating on her with their nanny. A man downs coffee in the background. To cheer them all up, Samantha invites them to a premiere, mainly because she wants to bone the star. Miley Cyrus and her have some sort of red carpet dress off. Then they go to Abu Dhabi. They need a holiday. They wear weird outfits and Samantha has sex with some Danish man.

She drops condoms all over the ground and people frown upon them. Aiden is there too. Also on holiday. Kara kisses him and feels bad about it. There is no reason for anyone to be there. They're horrifically racist and decide to go home. No idea what happens then. Probably nothing.

The entire movie is 10 hours long. I'm so impressed with Eleanor and I'm so impressed with you as well, Guy. Eleanor, apart from a few chronological errors. Not that many either. You pretty much nailed it, mate. Get the crux of the film. Yeah, that's absolutely it. Well done you.

Do you want to go on to a second one? Alec Wilder, who gave us a submission underneath 100 words. What I would like to note at this point is a lot of the submissions involve countless question marks. Back yourselves, listeners. We sure have. we've backed you so far as i can tell from what has been described to me is that there are four women that live in what i assume to be new york they get coffee we're a crazy guy for quince after they cluck at each other for a bit they go to abu dhabi because of jisguzi franchising opportunities and try to fuck a whole football

team the massive orgy is frowned upon there so they go to the desert to film a Range Rover commercial and then eventually one of the old birds goes home to her husband or something. Yes.

The end? I've never seen any of the TV shows or movies. How did I do? Like if the criteria is describing the movie which should have been made

you get an A+. Or not even what should have been made you get an A plus or not even what should have been made what kind of came out yeah yeah a little Elliot Brooks from England would you like an accent?

I would like a French accent because I've moved okay Carrie goes to a gay wedding Because I've moved. Okay. Carrie goes to a gay wedding where she reunites with a squadron of loyal girl pals who she hasn't seen for three years. These three years have been pretty dire for all involved. One of them has a baby,

one of them has failing business, and I'm pretty sure there's another one you said about something possibly due to falling stock markets courtesy of big illegal practices. Maybe one of them has failing business. And I'm pretty sure there's another one you said about something. Possibly due to falling stock markets. Courtesy of big illegal practices. A film is made based on one of Carrie's books. So she has to go to Abu Dhabi to watch a being filmed. Just like the real authors don't.

She invites her miserable friends along in an attempt to cheer them up. On the arrival they are given manservants and make Dick Spurter an architect or something. He tries to have sex with all of them but only succeeds with one generating a 25% success rate. Carrie kisses a man who isn't her husband Adrian Aiden, I do not know but decides against pursuing the affair.

Thus the film ends with no major or purposeful decisions made by any of the leading cast Miley Cyrus is somehow involved points out of 10 best from England via France or the other way around

I get confused with the order of subjects and clauses anyway Elliot out of 10 Elliot I'm giving that a 7.5

Guy? Dude well it's impossible to judge because it's so obvious to us isn't it having seen it 15 times yeah that's true

and this guy hasn't even I mean I probably wouldn't get a 10 out of 10 seeing it once I don't think at any point we suggested

Carrie writes the book that they make the movie about although it's a nice tweet we did get muddled 10 out of 10 seeing it once. I don't think at any point we suggested Carrie writes the book that they make the movie about. Although it's a nice tweet. We did get muddled a little bit though, insofar as she writes a book. Well, she writes a book about marriage. Let me clean that up right now for you. Who was that?

Elliot? Elliot Brooks. Elliot Brooks, son of Mel Brooks, of course, comedy legend. The truth of the matter is that Heart of the Desert, which is the movie premiere they go to see, is probably not based on any book, much less Carrie's Carrie's book is about

marriage. And that's one of the points that's a point I wanted to raise in this podcast Carrie's book which we understand has been written as a satire yes. The entire conceit, the entire like premise of her book is that which we understand has been written as a satire. Yes. The entire conceit, the entire premise of her book is that each chapter, she hilariously and bitingly unpacks

one of the traditional wedding vows. Maybe. That's what it is. Okay. From reading the review of it in the New Yorker, which we've paused the screen on, and from the conversation the gals have when they're discussing the scaling review,

that's what the book is. I am not a writer. Yeah. I have not written a book, but to me, Yes. what that sounds like is a blog post at best. Right.

With maybe a hundred word funny dismissive blurb underneath. Listical maybe? Yes. Would you extend to a... Listical, yes. I can see how it would get tired as an entire book. You wouldn't read it? No, it feels kind of basic. tired as an entire book. You wouldn't read it? It feels

kind of basic. I know that could be part of the appeal, but doesn't it feel to you like it's just a bit... It feels anemic. Is the subject matter for a book? Iron deficient. Not enough meat on those bones. I don't know. Good books have been written about less.

I assume. Sometimes it's not the It's difficult What in the holy hell is that? Some weird sounds coming out of this house It's a ghost Practicing the bagpipes Jesus

Yeah Didn't your landlord tell you? Didn't Rob tell you? There's a haunted musical ghost here In 1923 A man by the name of Willie McAragus, he was killed when he was gang tackled

while practising the bagpipes and one of the pipes went down his gullet. And the weird thing is that that ghost is now haunted by another ghost. One of the tacklers, of course, was so impacted by the death of Willis that they threw themselves off the harbour bridge. We did discuss the possibility of this watch.

You get to pick a moment where each one of the girls gets tackled, sidelined, blasted, freight trained. It's like a holiday prank that they do whenever they go away is two of the gals or one of the girls, like at any point you get a free tackle on one of your other holiday makers. That was a fun thing to do because you're at least looking out for-

Good way to pass the time. You're looking for an opening to really lay one of those broads out. And there's, I mean, opportunities abound, especially at the moments when it's meant to be the emotional heart of the film.

It would be very comical. Yeah. Because, like, there are parts in it now where you see the strain, not the actor's strain, but the actual character's strain and their friendships. Like, when Carrie's complaining to Samantha about Mr. Big when they're going shopping for the premiere, you know what I'm talking about, eh? And Samantha just says whatever it will take to shut Carrie up

She's not even listening to what she She quite obviously isn't taking in what she's saying Because Carrie's saying Can we come to the premiere? I think we need a little sparkle in our marriage You know, everything's getting very drab And it's all about the couch Yeah

And Samantha's just She just goes, yeah, you'll have fun Yeah, yeah, yeah Like, yeah, yeah, yeah You've paid attention to one sentence out of five And it was the least Important part I am a sinner

Samantha Who's probably Gonna sin again Same bitch Same come over The bagpipe playing ghost Has evolved into A clarinet playing

Is it a I was trying to Or is it a sax I think it's a tenor Sax Nah that is The unmistakable sound of a woodwind instrument it's not brassy enough for a sax you know i think clarinets sound very similar to saxophones in

fact they are basically baby saxophones anywho's we're not here to talk about a ghost that's haunted by another ghost that's playing the other and i just want to quickly say it's better it's better seen than heard but my favourite submission of the plot was like a timeline written down on an A4 sheet of paper by someone called Yadin Alyashev the summary

goes plot, wedding in a huge block, New York stuff in a very thin block, oh the plot is in a very thin block, wedding is in about like 35% of the plot, tiny bit thin block wedding is in about like 35 percent of the page tiny bit of new york stuff tiny bit of arguing abu dhabi which is like 45 percent of the page and then the ascension of the rat king

which a lot of people skip over when they see this movie for the first oh i don't know dozen times i would challenge that a reason this movie was critically panned as it was upon its release is a lot of people didn't maybe pick up on the nuances, the subtleties, the ascension of the Rat King. I mean, the way they see that story throughout. You've got to really dig into the movie to find the clues. For example, Brady, school, science experiment, experimenting with the intelligence of rats. Winning a prize for discovering the true intelligence of rats.

It's all there, people. The blueprint is there for you to discover how Brady ascends to be the Rat King under the stewardship originally of his father, Steve, who gets made the mayor of New York City. I got a great, I got another great business idea. Quit your job. We're going to start a business

where we record, I'm going to record all of the sat-nav, all the GPS directions for people's cars. I'm going to be that guy. Turn left in 100 meters. Oh, you missed the turn off? That's okay. Just keep turn off that's okay just keep

going it's okay hey do you want to do some spelling practice no maybe I'll just do some I mean yeah the business has a few kinks

to iron out well I think it's all in the marketing, I think. Because where one person sees a terrible distraction while you're trying to get directions to get to your final destination, I see added value. Sometimes I'm in the car and I go, you know what I could brush up on at the moment? My spelling skills. My Boston spelling.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I want to... Sorry. I didn't specify. I think it kind of goes without saying. But yeah, Boston spelling.

Well, my God, I do not want to watch this movie anymore. Did you have a shining light this week? I believe I tried to find some. That's not what it's doing to me maybe that's the sultry sound of the clarinet bleeding through the floorboards that haunted ghost it's quite literally clarinets and saxophones rising through the floorboards right now our ankles are awash

and wood wood and brass instruments do you reckon every ghost is haunted by another ghost and they just get progressively smaller so at some level there's like a nano ghost. And it's always one ghost removed. And the only way that a ghost can die off is not actually through achieving its dream of closure from what it wanted for being alive, but by being progressively phased out by the haunting of the next ghost.

How do you mean? And you shrink as a ghost and shrink and shrink until you evaporate into nothingness into the atmosphere so if you're a big ghost you have to wait until you're very next level down of ghost yeah that's why ghosts respect small ghosts because they're senior right ghosts are very traditional in that sense so actually the

bigger you are in the ghost community the further down the ladder you are that's where the uh popular colloquialism you big dumb ghost comes from i didn't know that well let's just not say that this podcast hasn't done anything for us i every day's a school though did not oh i i try to pick out showing lines. I mean, they both completely abandoned me. There was a line that Samantha delivered, which I remember enjoying, and I said to you,

something... Cocktails? Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah. I guess that I also said that one, so is that okay? Of course. Are you claiming that as yours?

No, no, no. I've got a different one. Oh, great. I've got my own. Good on you. Yeah, bud. Gotta respect you. Don't you worry about old Timbo.

Yeah, Runkle says, all right, who wants a cocktail when the conversation's getting a little bit uncomfortable at the big gay wedding? And I just like the way he says cocktails. I said this to you today. With each viewing of the movie, in addition to the sound design becoming more appealing,

I like any of the lines which jump out at me at first, which doesn't mean I'm watching a movie and someone says a line which is a little bit off kilter. I'm always like, oh, that was weird. It's a weird editing choice. But I think with every passing view, I'm like, oh, way to go. Way to have a bit of fun with it.

Way to do something different. So we're talking about examples like in a line where maybe the word that you thought would be emphasized doesn't. They pick a different word to really hammer home. Yeah, that can be fun. Yeah. Just anything which feels a bit funky, a bit fresh. Yours, please. When we were in the hotel and and Fuck, I did remember his name

Daboon, the guy at the front desk Oh yeah, I can't remember his name either Badoon, no Badoon? I don't know Platoon The desk is being served by a DVD of the Oliver Stone Vietnam War movie Platoon Yeah, so the picture of Charlie Sheane on the bright shiny disc rings the room

and samantha picks up and um when it does the wide shot of the platoon disc you see at the the back of the desk there's three pictures of i guess their former hotel owner the owners of that hotel presumably or maybe the shakes of the country and it's like a patriotism kind of thing but um the guy in the middle very sullen and he's the one we see the most because in the over the shoulder shot of platoon he's the only one we see comes out you can see the guy on the left and he's got a bit of a smile but you look at the dude on the right and he is like staring down the barrel of the artist who has made the portrait and given a very cheeky like basically a wink and a smile i can't believe we pulled it off kind of kind of it's a knowing smile and um it's another

one of those places where i just hope that it's a decision a joke a little inside reference that the set dresser has managed to sneak in there without anyone noticing just have a bit of fun just to break up the day just to break up bit of fun. Just to break up the day. Just to break up the day, you know? Just to break up the working day. Tim. Guy. Would you like a walk-on roll in Sex and the City 3? Well.

You get one line. Do you know what? I wouldn't. I couldn't be bothered No You get one line And And you get

Free airfares For the rest of your life But Yeah You have to watch Sex and the City 3 Yeah Once every week

For the rest of your life. Oh, okay. I'm going to say yes. I think you would have to be some sort of idiot. Well, hold on. You haven't told me how long it is, though. It could be a trick shot. 12 hours.

It's like any sort of reasonable length flight. No. See, that is the condition, is that for every flight you take, you have to watch Sex and the City 3 Which is 12 hours And no way is it worth it

But on a shorter flight You don't have to watch The whole thing You just have to watch Whatever amount I don't care Not worth it Absolutely not

How about you Same conditions Thing is It would take the sheen off Anytime you arrive In a new country If you If you

Are just a normal human being like us right now we've got the ability to fly we've just got to find the money somewhere this is but this is removing that this is like do you know how great it would be but it's not worth the trade-off money's not worth that much money is not worth me having to watch 12 hours of sex in the city three over and over again you're in it time i catch you've got a line i don't it's and the City 3 over and over again every time I catch a flight. You've got a line. I don't... And the irony is that your line is you're the pilot on a flight

like a private jet that all the four girls are on. And what's the line? Have a wonderful flight. I know I will. Oh, God. It's not worth it. And then you wink down

the barrel of the camera at yourself. Oh. So, like, you're saying... Okay, game changer. Hold on. So you're saying... Okay, game changer. Hold on. So, do I... Okay, so I totally barrel the lens.

Absolutely. Am I the only one who gets to do that in the movie? Yeah. Kind of break the fourth? You don't do it, like, as a choice. You're just a terrible performer, and you can't help but do it. But it makes the...

You won a contest, so you have to be in the movie. And that's the best take of the day. And that's the best take of the day. And that's the best take. Oh, that really changes it for me. I'm still probably leaning towards no, but I'm very much more on the fence. I think it makes the movie better. The old wink in the...

I think the fact that you snuck a wink into the movie is a triumph. I'll tell you who snuck a wink into the camera which made the movie better. None other than Sarah Jessica Parker's husband, Matthew Broderick, in a little film called Ferris Bueller's Day Off, which was one of the first movies he ever did

and the greatest movie he ever did. Who's with me? John Hughes for life, RIP. I'm with you. Everyone, that's like a movie, it's a touching point for a lot of people.P I'm with ya Everyone That's like a Movie is a touch A touching point For a lot of people

Touchstone If you will The point you're touching Is a stone Right up there with Ghostbusters And The Labyrinth

But I digress What was your low light Of the movie What By the way I've got very itchy throats You've had a cold all I think it might be bronchitis All ages light of the movie is this week. What? By the way, I've got very itchy throats. You've had a cold all... I think it might be

bronchitis. All ages. Is that contagious? Have you ever given me something? I've had it for like 10 days. Yeah, but I haven't

been hanging out with you for 10 days. Yeah, but it's just been lurking in my body. It's not threatening. It's just like, I live here now and I'm like,

get out of here, Professor Bronchitis i know you know a lot about history but what was your low light of the film guy tell me about how it relates to the relationship you had with your mother growing up i can't promise to do that um the low light of the film tim I think that's an unfair question. I think that's even more unfair than asking for a shining light in that the question's too big. Give me the gift of a clear brief.

Guy Montgomery. My brain cannot comprehend. So you need more parameters. My brain cannot comprehend. So you need more parameters. What part of the movie made you feel like you didn't want to watch the movie more than any other part of the movie today? What was the point where you're at your lowest and you felt like you couldn't go on, you couldn't watch it anymore?

And you trembled in fear at the prospect of another 37 watches of this movie I think I don't know like when they get to the airport in Abu Dhabi you feel like you've been there for so long yeah and it's just not even you haven't even it's like your friends having a pot

like no not a pot like your friends hosting dinner and they're not a good cook but they really want to become a good cook and they're trying their hardest and they serve you a meal yeah and it is atrocious and you're starting and you're like i cannot i cannot get through this meal but you're like but from the goodness of my heart i will try and you eat for what feels like 10 hours and your stomach is overflowing with whatever this is it feels like. And then you look down and you haven't even, you've barely put a dent.

Like if someone arrived at the dinner party now, they'd look at your plate and they'd be like, oh great, you haven't started eating. That's how you felt at that moment. That's how I feel whenever I'm around the movie yeah what have we done like just over 20 you can eat 20 of a meal and it cannot look like you've touched your meal yeah that's true

and that's kind of where it's at um i think today more than any other day, this was the first time when I was really like, I want to find a way to get out of this, to end it. No. Maybe internally. You didn't communicate that with your body. To me, you just look tired. That's just the face I put on when I'm despairing, but it was bad.

I don't want to do the podcast anymore. I don't want to watch the podcast anymore I don't want to watch the movie yeah it's bad time so that feeling is wrong that feeling you're having inside yourself is wrong

I just want to do the rest of my life without having to be tied to this two and a half hour assault on the senses this brings me quite nicely to

one of the great joys of the week which was the flood of self portraits we received of people enjoying, which was the flood of self-portraits we received, of people enjoying this, which is the very motivation. Did that not inspire you?

Did you not think to yourself, wow, something's actually getting, there's something happening out of this? Don't get me wrong. It was wonderful to see all those bright, shiny faces coming through the various social medias, of them going, hey, I'm enjoying what you're doing, even though I know you're not enjoying doing it.

That was cool. But there's only so far that we'll get a man. Guy, we've got one important piece of terrain that we have yet to explore, and that, of course, is our regular feature for the West Idea of all time, season two. What's he wearing? Where's he off to?

Well, he drank his caffeine at pace didn't he The man Has a wax soaked tongue A tongue soaked in wax Candle wax The man hasn't just licked wax And had it pour in his tongue and set He's actually fallen asleep

With his wagging dog dog-like, extra-long human tongue inside of a lit candle, and he has coated and then soaked his whole tongue in candle wax. He got a tongue implant as a younger man. He saw Kiss live in Detroit, Rock City. So, in performing live Live got inspired by Gene. Anyway, so here is a guy who is pretty much at the crossroads of his day, yes, his life maybe. He's an entrepreneur. He's developed a few ideas.

None of them have really taken off in the way that he said they would in high school. He invented exploding kindling. taken off in the way that he said they would in high school. He invented exploding kindling. It's supposed to start fires, but what it actually started doing was starting house fires because the fire would start, but then because it had explosives in it, it would blow the fiery bits all over the house.

There wasn't... Destroyed a lot of fireplaces. There wasn't any specific state law in Michigan around the legality of what he was doing. And so he kind of managed to sidestep any serious legal ramifications. And God bless Michigan for really taking a stand against regulation in the kindling realm.

Because too many bloody states. Nanny states. They're at the behest of big water, you know, and big firefighter. Two of the most bloody pussy lobbies there are really i'll say it pussy lobby you're fearless tim big water and big firefighter anyway so he he's he's pretty much he's gone to this cafe and he's drinking coffee and he's thinking to himself either by drinking this hot coffee

it will melt the wax and free my tongue and esophagus allowing me to return to life as usual or even the scalding hot coffee will not prove

hot enough to melt this and I might have stumbled into a business opportunity the likes of which people have not seen since exploding candling. What would the invention be off the back of his coffee

not being hot enough to melt the wax that has fallen on his tongue? A new way of identifying dead bodies at a morgue? A tongue mold. What are you talking about?

You know how they take dental records? Sure. Every human tongue is unique in the same way that every set of human teeth and every set of fingerprints is unique. Okay. He knows that... What's the name of someone who works in a morgue? Mortician? Morgetician.

No, mortician. Well, they missed a great portmanteau. Morgeticians are tiredorgtician Well I missed a great portmanteau Morgticians Yes Are tired Of the ways of identifying bodies They're looking for new Exciting ways It's a dreary line of work

Yeah Undeniably Incisor Molar Got it It's Mr. Smith The tongue mould Has the opportunity

to revolutionize the way we identify bodies. Not dead bodies, not just dead bodies either. Any bodies. You go down to the police station, suddenly they're not taking fingerprints, they're taking tongue molds.

I just... They also are a great way to decorate the captain's office. You've got the tongue molds of the top 10 most wanted criminals hanging above your head. What a great reminder of why you're sitting in power to get out there and catch those tongues it just doesn't seem i don't want to shit all over this guy's idea it just doesn't seem like the most

convenient way to get a personal identification of someone look this guy's clearly been on some sort of bender if he's in a state of inebriation to fall down and have wax melt over his entire mouth wake up go to a coffee house somehow communicate to the barista that you want a coffee when you cannot form a single word yeah all right well coffee man we salute you and your enterprising ways. May forever Michigan's fight against regulation reign and your adventurous pioneering spirit into entrepreneurship rise and continue to rise and rise and rise and rise. For us, we shall fall and leave.

To the listener, we salute you heartily to any domestic pets of the listener we did not know you understood this thank you for joining us also we'll catch you next week farewell and goodbye.