The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Fifty - Futon

Episode Date: November 24, 2018

Against the odds, Guy and Tim have made it to LA. They've eaten some Blaze Pizza and now it's time to tick some other bucket list items off the list; Namely, watching Grown Ups 2 in a Kmart. That's right, the lads have watched the entire film inside of a Kmart and recorded an episode in the terrible, dirty walls of the quintessential department store of yesteryear.Guy's approaching unattended kids, Tim's distracted by all the fantastic colours and products on offer. It's almost the end of the nightmare so get in while the getting's good. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the worst idea of all time. Can we start sitting down and then get up for a walk? You want to walk right now, don't you? Welcome to the worst idea of all time, episode number 50. Coming to you live from the furniture section of a Kmart. In the Grove in Los Angeles, California. We made it, you little bitches. My name is Tim Batt. And thank you very much for putting us here. It's weird now because I'm wanting to walk around the store,

and Guy is... We found a pretty good futon. He's on a couch. For about $229.99 down from $249.99, I can tell you what, it's a pretty comfortable place to watch a movie. Oh, yeah. I almost fell asleep at one point during that.

It's been a big day. And there's our strong sales pitch for the Salerno futon down here at Cayman. I don't know what is. I'll tell you something about this Futon as well, Guy. At the moment, $20 off. $20? Regular price is $249.99 for you today here at this Cayman location in Los Angeles, California.

I'll give it to you for $229.99. That's not a very big discount, man. It's not, eh? What I'd like to do is check out that Futon maybe sooner for a couple of hours, find out if it's my kind of futon. Well, let me ask you this. What do you do on a futon, like in your day-to-day? My main use for a futon is watching movies. Okay.

Well, tell me a movie that you like to watch. I don't really get time to watch that many movies. I don't really get out of the house to watch them. Just name a movie. What's a movie that comes to your head? Grown Ups 2. Okay. Here's what we're going we're gonna do i'm gonna take you down to this couch to this futon and i'm gonna let you sit in it for the whole duration of the movie okay what i'd like to do first if it's okay with you is station you um hiding behind the men's underwear aisle

and the corner of the bottom floor looking real nervous and waiting to get kicked out by people as you hold your tablet with a headphone splitter so both of us can hear it let's go for a walk come on let's go for a walk i feel good all right i've got these massive yellow pop shields on the microphone the first thing we've got to address is the fact that K-Mart has gone to the fucking dogs. I just ran into a staff member as I said that. He doesn't care. None of these people fucking care. There's shit everywhere.

They do not give a shit. It's like, I don't know how to describe it. It's really like run down and just dowdy. And there's like really intense dance music playing on the stereo. There was a weird situation when we first came in that Guy picked up, which is that there's a whole bunch of old Kmart signs, and they're all from different logos from the last 20 years. This has been fitted out over several eras and never got a refurbish.

It's real weird. You know what? If we start listing all the products we're walking past, we'd turn into the podcasting equivalent of the movie Although I won't get paid by any of these people Except for Blaze Pizza who've kindly They haven't paid us anything They owe us so much god damn money too

Blaze Pizza really need to start coming to the party Especially We did our Blaze Pizza reviews at the hotel room So by the time we were eating the fucking things They were cold Oh yeah if you want to see a sweet-ass Blaze Pizza video review I don't know why you would.

It's fucking shit. Go to the Facebook. That's the review, not the pizza. I'll tell you what though. We've made a decision about the tattoos as well. Yeah,

it's been a big couple of days here in Los Angeles, California. Do we want to say? I think we're very excited to announce the plan for the tattoos. Oh, you're going to find out so soon anyway. I'll just tell you now, eh? Yeah.

I'll tell you. You'll definitely hear about it. So it's going to be sort of an outline of Patrick Schwarzenegger's face, and then underneath it, in Latin, one of us will have live every moment and the other one will have love every day. You guys get it, right? I'm really excited to share it on the internet and show Paddy how much he's come to mean to us. Yeah, I think we're going to get them done. We're going to get inked on Venice Beach too.

I got a recommendation of a cool tattoo place. Did you actually? Yeah, I did. Oh, that's excellent. Got a hot tip. So, Tim, what did you make of the movie this week? Well, Guy. Guy Montgomery.

Guy Montgomery. Exploring Kmart. We've stopped in front of some Power Ranger figurines, which are a really weird size. They're not small enough to be action figures. They're quite a cool size. They look really good in the corner of your room. They're real big.

When you enter a house, you know there's often something in the corner of the foyer? They look pretty cool there. They're 79 centimetres, 31 inches. It's a big doll. What was the question? How was the movie? They're having some real fun with gender stereotypes on the cover of the Step 2 Neat and Tidy Cottage. Yeah, they are.

The boy is doing the sweeping and the girl is loving it. Ding dong. She's just hanging out the window without a care in the world. She looks really tired though. Look at those bags in her eyes. I'm going to take a photo of this. It was a long day on the shoot.

That kid is exhausted. No, I think it's still the gender stereotypes askew, right? Like she's been at work all day. Look at this guy. She's been punching chicks. he's fucking taking care of business on his little like an 18 month old who is on a business call hey idiot good luck getting through to anyone on that fake ass phone you fucking little moron you can't call people don't call 18 month'm a moron. And don't swear at them, guys. We've got to get out of this part of the store.

Okay. We've sullied it. So the movie was kind of stressful to begin with because I kept thinking we were going to get ejected. Yeah. We were worried that security would show up. The exocycle was like in the movie. That's pretty good. We were worried that we were going to get kicked out

for just for like-looking behaviour. Yeah, because nothing we're doing right now is illegal, but it looks fucking weird. It's a weird look. It is a weird look. Two men to stand for 20 minutes just behind the underpants, just staring at a tablet nervously. I'll tell you what I did find, though,

is that actually in that circumstance, I wound up taking refuge in the movie because of my nerves about getting in trouble here in America. I wound up – hold on, you've got to watch out for the cord here. I'm getting on an exercise. I'm a cyclist, everyone. Yeah, I found when I watched the movie, I was so absorbed in it

that I was no longer nervous about getting in trouble with the American security guard. Yeah, it was the first time that I've seen you use the movie as a blanket to get out of life. It was. It was a comfortable blanket. I wrapped around myself to ignore the fact that I was in a Kmart. However, we eventually built up the... What do you think of this product, Tim? Let me tell you about it.

It feels really dangerous. It's the Weslo, all right? I feel like I'm about to fall off it. It's supposed to feel dangerous. What we've done is we've put the seat down real nice and low so that you don't have any control over your body in the midst of the cycle vulnerable and like once you start peddling you're like a hamster vulnerable the world's a scary place you can't trust anything and you especially can't trust the well so it's a cycle over 500 complaints a month and going up. That's where you should get it.

And still a little fear in your life. That'll get the blood pumping. That'll get those calories. They say that adrenaline is the greatest fitness tool of all. Do you know what goes great with a Weslow Scare 1000? I've got no idea. A healthy diet of Blaze Pizza. Yeah.

I think we've got to pull Pin on this Blaze Pizza Advertising The joke's on us Alright Blaze Pizza You win You got us man You got us so good Fuck me

We did a good job though Yeah we did I can't believe We're getting Patty Schwartz Tattooed to our bodies That's pretty intense Certainly a change of pace

Yeah Hey how'd you find The movie this week Well as I said Early on I was really enjoying it. Oh, sounds like there's something going wrong in Kmart. Someone on the loudspeaker is quite panicked, is frantically reporting that we'd better get to aisle six quick smart. Is that us?

No, that can't be us. Okay, where are we? What aisle are we? One thing I did notice in the movie today is when we were... That's some cheaper... That's a good price on Teflon oh Tefal you're not buying pants

Teflon's the thing we were walking through the Kmart at the same time as the grown ups were walking through the Kmart in the film and the contrast between the Kmart they represent in the movie and the Kmart we're walking through is staggering it's like when you go to gay paddy and have a photo of the, what's it called?

Chandelier or something. I don't know. And you hold up a photo of a famous icon and then you look up and you've got the real thing. But in our one, the photo, Delight in the real life Kmart, like terrible. Yeah. Like a crack den Kmart. Like this Kmart got taken over when the original manager died by his brother. And his brother is a loose cat who is in and out of jail all the time.

He got put away for four years for killing a judge. He killed a judge. The dead brother said... This location of Kmart was run by Woody Harrelson's dad. That's why it sucks so much. The dead brother wrote... This location of Kmart was run by Woody Harrelson's dad. That's why it sucks so much. The dead brother wrote into his will, if I die, I will give you the Kmart with the proviso that you do not under any circumstance sell it.

You could fall on hard times, you could be in prison, but you are not selling that Kmart for bail. Yeah, it's like the cow and the magic beans. Jesus, look at the wheels on that bike. Great visual gag for the podcast, Monty. Yeah, I'm on fire. You're real good. Well, I was the one who wanted to sit down on the futon

and have a proper discussion about the fucking movie, and old bloody wandering Iron McGee over here is taking me on a tour of the small appliances and housewares. I need to stretch my legs, get my blood pumping a little bit, because I was about to fall asleep on the couch. Why don't you tell me what your shining light was this week, Tim? Such Pepsi. I had a couple, actually.

They kept changing. Oh, do you know what it was? Guys really helpfully shutting all the microwave doors, because the doors are just... This is how terrible this game is. The doors are just hanging out. Someone's going to get injured. But it was Mary's little head is. The doors are just hanging out. Someone's going to get injured.

But it was Mary's little head movement. The wife of Malcolm. To me, those who actually, ironically, or not ironically, but funnily enough, is a Kmart employee. She did a little head movement thing at the party scene when Bump D and Malcolm start busting out a... Beatboxing and Bump D's freestyling and his mom Mary is doing a good little head waggle.

Yeah. That's the shining light for you? Yes, you nailed it. I felt like I had to say it back to you. You're running out of juice there, Batboy. Did you have a shining light? Don't call me Batboy either. I did have a shining light, actually,

and it was provided by you. It was what you noticed in the background of seeing about 1 hour 20 minutes of the movie at the party there are two extras sorry we'll get out of your way you're stuck in shelves seems like a nice guy

just accepted the fact we're walking around with two microphones having a conversation he looks like oh sorry, like, sorry. Sorry to get in the way. I didn't mean to walk into your office. Like we're leasing the home where appliances aisle came up. Yeah, anyway. I love how plush these blankets are.

Can you please let me tell you my shining light? It was really funny. Headed up. So there's two extras, two female extras at the party when Lenny Fader runs into Tommy Kavanagh aka Stone Cold

Steve Austin are you a Calvin Harris fan put a fucking sock in it I'm trying to do a podcast here okay we're in a very very public place anyway

if you'd shut up for a second and let me finish my thought. I absolutely will. After I tell you about the great deal behind you. Two female extras. Listen to me. Look at me. You're looking all around. Look at me.

I'm trying to have a conversation. Okay, here I am. Two female extras. Here I am. Here I am. Rock you like a hurricane. I got you that time. Yeah, you did, you little bastard.

So there's two female extras at the party, and one of them's walking down the stairs, and she sees a friend or someone she thinks she knows, and she throws up her hand for a big wave. This is all in the background of the shot. No, it's like a high five, eh? That's what she's got. Yeah, she's going in for the high five.

So she puts up her hand for a high five, and the girl or the other woman at the party just blows straight past her, completely blanks her. Like, fuck off, Susie. in for the high five. So she puts up her hand for the high five, and the girl or the other woman at the party just blows straight past her, completely blanks her. Like, fuck off, Susie, you know what you did. And Susie doesn't want to be embarrassed, so she turns. Like, in the background of a shot in Grown Ups 2, there's this really real moment where Susie turns the missed high five

into, like, a back pat. Like, yeah, I knew that would happen. Yeah, as they're walking past each other. It's so funny, because stuff like that happens in real life, but it's not the kind of thing you would even expect to see replicated. Really strong offer from those extras, and I'd like to see more of them

if a Grown Ups 3 does come out. And God willing, it will, and it'll be in 3D, because we're financing it. Do you think, okay, do you think if Grown Ups 3 does come out... What the shit is this? Speaker band.

Oh my God, it's a wireless Bluetooth speaker, but like a wristwatch. You wear it like a watch. That is retarded. I don't like that at all. That's not for me. I'm trying to talk to you, Tim, and you're making it really difficult. I've completely lost my train of thought. Well, let me pick it back up with a certain catchy little ditty that I want to teach you.

Please. It starts like this. Paddy Schwartz. Paddy Schwartz. Paddy Schwartz. It's Paddy Schwartz party time. It's Paddy Schwartz party time. Rolling around in a goddamn Kmart. Paddy Schwartz party time. He's checking the specials on the flannels because he's trying to save money.

We've done better ones of those. Well, we didn't usually have an employee From the store that we're talking And walk past us In the middle of the intro It didn't look happy either actually Let's get a bit of distance From that dude Let's go back to the futon

The futon's a safe zone It is Okay So what was your Patty shorts party time Guy You were a little bit boisterous In the middle of the podcast

Yeah dude We were really just walking around Talking shit Guy I think we're being followed By who Gamer Really I think we're being followed. By who? Gamer.

Really? I think so. I don't think so. All right, let's just continue as planned. What was your Petty Shorts party time? We're going to go back and sit on the chair. My Petty Shorts party time was... I don't want to. It's a cop-out.

It looks so comfortable. Nah, it's a cop-out. And it's a really good price. $229.99. Really easy to use. Really easy to fold out. It's a fantastic futon. Yeah, but it's so easy to fold out,

we almost bloody killed ourselves with it folding out from underneath us. Yeah, well, yeah. I mean, that is a design flaw that we put in it because we want people to live a little dangerously, live every moment. Not everyone would trust a couch designed and produced by podcasters. No.

And you shouldn't. No, that's right. It would be a terrible idea. It's not our specialty at all. But I've never designed a piece of furniture in my life, but I stand behind this futon. I stand behind it because if I don't stand behind it, the whole thing's going to fucking collapse.

We're going to be dealing with a shitload of lawsuits, slipped discs, vertebrae missing from people's backs. The challenging thing is we've had to bring in so many extra people on the podcast to stand behind every couch that we sell. Yeah, I mean, it's costing us a lot of money. We're hemorrhaging money over here at the worst idea of all time, limited, unlimited. It's really difficult to find people to stand behind couches

in different people's homes as well. That's what I find. America's a really changed guy. I remember in America where people were happy just to get employed, you know? They weren't picky about what job it was or what the hours were or whether or not you're in a stranger's house watching over them, making sure the couch that was designed and produced by two plucky young upstarts from New Zealand doesn't collapse on them,

thus causing a massive amount of legal implications for them, not to mention a financial burden the likes of which they've never seen before. They haven't planned for this. They don't know how to plan for this. No one does. It's unforeseen costs. Yeah, man. And it's big.

It's bigger than us. Yeah, man, whatever you say. So my Patrick Schwartz party time moment, other than the fact that he was actually at the Blaze Pizza when we went there, and we gave him a high five and we said, Hey, buddy. You can't lie about Patrick Schwarzenegger, dude. Yeah, but he obviously wasn't there now that you've blown my cover. Sorry.

No, it's okay. Anyway, if he was there, we would have just done a high five and just sort of given each other respectful nods. Yeah. That was not on party time. My party time was in the movie. He wipes a fake tear from his eye after Colin Quinn's inspirational speech

defending Lenny Fader and, in fact, the entire town of Stanton, Connecticut against the arrogant, insufferable frat boys led by a ferociously tanned Taylor Lautner who insists on flipping in and out of every single goddamn frame of the movie. Look me in the eyes when I'm talking to you, boy.

This was a fight the likes of which our town has never seen. I'm very intimidated by you right now, Guy. Yeah, I'm out of juice. Yeah, good man. You appear to be towering over me right now as well. It's weird. So anyway, it was this fake tear that Patrick Schwarzenegger pretends to wipe away. It was like, it's just a nice little piece I'd never noticed before.

It's a good offer. It's, yeah. It's quite condescending. Yeah. Which is, I think, in keeping with the characterization that Paddy creates for his frat boy character. So I think it's a pretty good bit of acting in that regard. Hey, well done for you for noticing. I noticed ages ago.

I just didn't say it. Funny that. Why didn't you tell me, bro? We used to tell each other everything. What's going on with us lately? I don't know what's becoming. This is one thing I'm a little nervous about during this trip.

We're spending an inordinate amount of time together. Yeah, we really are. Like too much, some people would say. We'll definitely be taking a break when we get back to New Zealand. I can tell you that for sure. I haven't seen your fucking face for a long time. Yeah, mate.

Well, it's fucking reciprocated. I can't stand you. I can't stand looking at you. I wake up in the night. I hold a pillow over your face thinking, should I do it? Should I end it all? Should I kill a man just to get out of this freaking prison we've created ourselves? I hate your guts, Tim Baird.

I want to rip them out from your asshole and force them down your mouth. Oh, come on, buddy. There's a seven-year-old kid who just walked out right next to us. Oh, God. Oh, God. If we don't get kicked out of a Kmart, we're still going to hell. Eternal damnation Iron We deserve nothing less

We can take comfort and refuge in the iron aisle Four tier closet shelves Someone else popped out about the movie today I feel like we've got an off track guy I feel like this podcast has really lost its focus This is a podcast about grown ups too buddy you need to get your head in the game don't you fucking put this on me mate you're the one walking around the aisles trying to buy things all right well i'll tell you what i noticed this week because we had headphones on and we're pretty

zoned in like good mix real good audio mix in there very crunchy it is crunchy i've spoken highly of the sound design before. Another thing we noticed is in the cheerleader scene, the Sobe cheerleader scene, when Kevin James and his wife are getting their car washed,

there's a lot, for a PG movie or whatever the status is here in America, there's a lot of ass showing. There's a lot of seducive, suggestive ass. Seductive and seducive.

Is seducive a word? No. I think I was trying to say suggestive. And seductive suggestive seductive and seducive seducive a word? no I think I was trying to say suggestive and seductive yeah well anyway what I'm saying is I think it's inappropriate I don't know how it slipped through the

who's the broadcasting standards authority here? the TSA? no bro they're the airport people that's the transport safety authority oh yeah god bless them it's the MPAA bro, they're the airport people. That's the Transport Safety Authority. Oh, yeah, God bless them. It's the MPAA, I think. They do the ratings. The Motion Picture Association of America.

I believe they are the raters of things. You know what? I do feel like we've gotten way too far off topic. Okay, that's great. So can you please tell me something about the movie and we'll have a conversation? Okay, I'm sick of watching it. Okay, Tim.

Guess what? Two more. Two to go. Yeah, that's true. That's a pretty good, I'm sick of watching it. Okay, Tim. Guess what? Two more. Two to go. Yeah, that's true. That's a pretty good feeling. And one of them will be in a theatre. I've never seen grown-ups doing a theatre before. That's right.

If you are in Los Angeles and are interested in catching the final episode, you can come along to CineFamily on Tuesday the 17th of February. It's on Fairfax. I don't really have... It's in West Hollywood. I don't have any other information beyond that. I'm getting so distracted because everything's so bloody colourful. And we're definitely going to have a fight with these things.

I'll use a sword. Okay. I don't think this is... You're falling into the same trap I've fallen into, buddy. Yeah. I'm getting the blood... Oh, shit. It's a visual gag.

You've got to do some damage. Oh, God. Oh, shit. Ow. Look at me. We need to tie it down We're going to get kicked out of a Kmart We're definitely doing our best to get kicked out

But they just don't care enough Yeah they don't Shit I'm going to have to buy this sword if I hit you one more time Yeah you will bro Have you broken it? No you haven't No we're good

We're cool I don't know man Did you pick up anything today though As a result of like Being so close to the screen No, you haven't. No, we're good. We're cool. I don't know, man. Did you pick up anything today, though, as a result of being so close to the screen? Because that's what I was noticing. I did enjoy our ability to point things out to each other with much more ease. Yeah, you can touch the... Lots of good extra work. A lot of bad extra work, excuse me.

A lot of big extra work, though. The direction was all big, you know? Yeah, everything was done to excess. Nothing's very naturalistic, although there is a good little bit of realism um in the at at the mother-in-law's house chris rock's mother-in-law married off's mom uh when she goes to the bathroom there's a blind that she's only halfway up on this well i was just really impressed by you know sometimes when you you like to have your curtains drawn even when you're not in the room or in the house it's just a nice feeling to know that there's light

sort of falling in the hallway yeah there's obviously something she believes in yeah sometimes I feel like you're not even I'm not even getting through to you

I'm listening to you just let me play with the toys you're fingering you're like Steve Buscemi you're fingering the water guns whoa that thing is awesome flex max fuck you

no come on genuinely fuck you no Genuinely fuck you. No, come on. You were saying? It was all laughing and jokes before, but I'm trying to talk about the movie here and you're bloody... Oh, tempers of fright. We're getting a bit scratchy, aren't we,

Monty? You're disrespecting me. You're disrespecting yourself. No, you're disrespecting yourself. Yeah, I am. I apologise. To myself, not to yourself. No, you're disrespecting yourself. Yeah, I am. I apologize to myself, not to you. So, Maya Rudolph's mum, who lives at number 116, from memory, on whatever street she's on, she goes into the bathroom and she pulls the blind down so she can go about her business. And Guy was like, you know what? That's a really human element.

That's a nice, subtle element to the film that adds a level of realism. I feel like you're emphasizing that point on my behalf because you're sort of maybe groveling to me. I'm backpedaling. Oh, yeah. After I told you about it when we watched the movie, you said, I don't know why you went on so long with that point when I got it right out of the movie You said I don't know Why you went on so long With that point When I got it

Right out of the gates Because when we were watching it You talked about it A lot And I got it I thought it was a good bit Of movie making Can I talk about your t-shirt

For a second This was a movie podcast Can I talk about your t-shirt For a second Mine's fine Mine's just a band t-shirt I don't know You're a big Rush fan

Yeah bro Neil Peart Greatest drummer of all time Go fuck yourself Tom Sawyer's like One of the greatest Prog rock songs ever written That's enough Talk about your t-shirt I thought you were a big Rush fan yeah bro Neil Peart greatest drummer of all time go fuck yourself Tom Sawyer's like one of the greatest prog rock songs ever written

that's enough talk about your t-shirt we can talk about my t-shirt if you want so guys it's almost like

tie dye but lilac so it's all one colour but tie dye that's the base that's the

what's it called not the palette the canvas atop the canvas is bigger than life size kind of a cute looking dog face i don't know what's the breed on a small terrier i think very cute kind of looks like a rat almost but cute uh with a bow on its head that's the same color as the tie-dye canvas so it almost blends in

but it's because it's like photorealistic it's bizarre I bought Invenus for $20 you are bizarre you are bizarre this is genuinely when we were standing camera at the start of this sort of journey

that we've taken today Tim this is the weirdest thing I've done in my life yeah dude this was a strange adventure this is a really weird thing to do especially when we sort of

entertain the notion of security showing up and us trying to explain to them why it's okay no no no don't kick us out you don't understand well this is exactly why we're here because like if we got taken by security and they just wanted to ask us what we were doing it would take so long to a explain what we're doing and b i think convince them that it was real yeah i guess we could just show them the podcast but like and boom we're advertising came that's the other that's the other concern i've got about this tattoo it's not just that patty schwartz is going to be on me

forever literally but the fact that if anyone sees it they'll be like oh interesting looking tattoo what's the story behind that and i I'm like, oh, fucking hell. Have you got 20 minutes? No, you just go, I really respect him. He's a real role model, real father figure for me. Just explain it away like that. They don't think I'm a really silly person, though. Really silly?

Well, you will have a tattoo of Patrick Schwarzenegger's face on your body, so I reckon they might be onto something. Yeah, there's some pretty damning evidence. Pretty damning evidence to suggest that I am. I'm kind of bored of the Kmart, though, eh? I feel like we've seen everything. We can go upstairs. We can go on the escalator. Let's do it. Let's get involved with some crowd.

Let's do some crowd work. Hey, kid, how you going? Don't do that. Seriously, don't do that. Guy just threw the microphone in the face of me, kid. I didn't throw it, I offered it. Yeah, yeah, but... He didn't yes and me.

I thought this was Hollywood, man. If they're... New rule. If they're under 16 and they don't have a parent with them, don't talk to them, okay? That's a pretty good rule. It's a real solid rule. I think it'll see us through to the end of this trip

very nicely. I think that might be a good rule just for general use for all an all-purpose rule that i will abide even outside of the confines of a kmart don't you think it's weird that we haven't had like an update in the last little while um about grown-ups three because there was there was some hate online a while ago about it that it was going to get made and there was a suggestion of script and stuff. I reckon it's still going to happen. They're just taking their sweet time. They don't want to get it wrong.

You see what happened last time they improved the whole script? It didn't come out so good too. They're not going to make the same mistakes twice. What's my question? Do you think Adam Sandler and co. measure their success in box office return because if they

do then the movie went great no the rule is one for me one for you one for me one for them yeah that was one for them yeah and he's now what i think he's doing with this netflix deal is he's searching for the middle ground so he can be making movies both for him and for them at the same time have you ever seen punch drunk love no i hear it's good i hear it's very good we should watch that while we're here we probably won't it's probably going to be one of those things that i say we should do that doesn't end up happening but um that's okay we should do it i don't know oh here we go hey just to give you an update. It's Tim and Guy coming to you live from the electronics aisle here at Kmart.

We've got great prices on barbecue things, four-slice toaster ovens, perfume. Yeah, you heard right. Electric perfume. I can't. With how blasé all of the stuff. It's USB charged. With how blasé all of the stuff here. I can't believe how nervous we were at the start that we were going to get kicked out. We've walked past...

We could scream bloody murder in here and I don't think they would bat an eyelid. Ten different staff members have not even bothered to look at us. One of them got out of our way. One of them apologised. That's okay, bro. You're just doing your job.

Yeah, you're doing what you're... You're here doing what's supposed to be done. Oh, the drink section. Oh, that looks good. I'm really parched. Do you want to grab something now? know what i will tell you this tim yeah los angeles the climate here fantastic i love it but it is wreaking havoc with my lips now i went off chapstick a couple of years ago because i didn't like what it was doing to me i think uh there's there's theory sort of quasi science being bandied about that it's um it's not good for your lips.

It's designed so that you'll rely on the lip balm and you'll need to use it more. So I stopped using the stuff. And I find in Auckland with a subtropical, pretty humid sort of climate, that the moisture in the air sort of finds itself onto my lips and my lips are very moist. Now the drier heat here in Los Angeles, California

is wreaking havoc on my top lip. I'm thinking about going back to lip balm, which is something I haven't thought about in two years. What do you know? What do I do? I think you should just do it. I think you should go back to lip balm. Two years, it's like cigarettes, mate.

I'm on the straight and narrow. You're a bad friend. That was a test. I don't like you. I still don't like you. Put down the fudges. I'm heading to the waters. Do you know what confused me about this?

I don't know why my mind went here. Oh, it's fudges, not fudges. It's Foggers, not Fudgers. It's the classic roast. And I was like, oh my God, there's a roast chicken in a room temperature plastic canister. No, it's coffee, everyone. It's classic roast coffee. You're a fucking moron. I know.

Your brain's gone to shit. It really has. But I'll tell you why. Because in California, the humidity here is wreaking havoc with my top frontal lobe. I have been two years without brain enhancers. Sounds like a plausible reason to me. Firstly, because my doctor said, Tim, I don't know where you're buying these. But there's no such thing as brain enhancers, dude.

I'm pretty sure someone's selling you speed. Hey, Tim bett do you want to get on my bus oh you're like the kind of guy who wants to take a ride on my bus oh roll up for the mystery tour And roll up Roll up for the mystery tour And the Steve Buscemi mystery tour Is coming to take you away

Coming to take you away Take you today High five That's right bitches It's the Steve Buscemi mystery tour live from the drink store I am going to grab

one of those Kmart Mexican Coke I think it's got better sugar in it stop advertising everything sorry

whoa that's a good squishy so um what do you have any thoughts on it this week or should I grab it

by the nuts grab it by the horns okay it's the first grown Grab it by the horns. Okay. Rensselaer. The first grown-ups movie, Wiley, played by fantastic actor Steve Buscemi, sustains an injury when Adam Sandler grabs him by the nuts. They're playing a game of football, and mirroring the scene that we see in Grown Ups 2 where he's teaching Keithy how to play football. Of course, of course.

He's actually introducing Wiley to the sport because despite the fact that Wiley's a grown ass man in the United States of America, last time I checked. Greatest goddamn country on earth. Damn right. He never learnt how to play football to any level. Yeah.

He's teaching Wiley. Adam Sandler found this out. It's basically like finding out that a grown man's a virgin, right? So he took him out to the pitch. Well, it was originally about his virginity until the 40-year-old virgin came out and they had to rewrite the movie. Yeah, as we all know.

So he took him out on the pitch and started showing him what for. Things got a little, let's say, sexual. And Adam Sandler grabbed him by the nuts, right? And Wiley shot up like he got shocked, like an electric shock. And a fucking drone smashed into his spinal cord. And the funniest thing happened at exactly the same time. Yeah, which doesn't really relate to the first thing I said.

No, but... But a drone hit him. It's a cartoonish movie. It's a cartoonish world. Anything can happen at any given moment. The funniest bit, though, and this was the best cameo I remember from Grown Ups 1 is... Tell me about it. That mischievous drone was driven by none other than former president George W. Bush.

And you only see him in the movie for a couple of seconds, but he's just there with this mischievous presidential grin, holding the controllers, laughing his ass off. Wearing Teva sandals, Capri pants, and a cut-off singlet that says female body inspector because George W. Bush knows how to fucking unwind on the weekends. Boy, does he. I feel like we should wrap this up. I am getting nervous again.

We're in line. We've always made it. We're swearing pretty loudly considering we've got weird accents to be in California with. And pretty loud t-shirts. Pretty loud t-shirts for this tour. So I'll tell you what, folks.

That might do us for episode 50. And hopefully, hopefully the next Grown Ups viewing is going to be coming to you live from the Hollywood Hills like by where the sign is or something. Something cool like that.

Something cool like that. Thank you so much for listening. We're also we're doing two events while we're here in LA if you are in LA and you want to get involved one is in a family on the 17th

and one it used to be sunset on the 18th all the information is on their websites. Who's selling shit now? Well that's our shit. You're like Rob Lowe in that ad we saw last night on the TV. God that guy sold out. Stop talking about advertising our shit. You're like Rob Lohan, that ad we saw last night on the TV.

God, that guy sold out. Don't start talking about advertising here. Shit, he sold out. Advertising in America is so freaking weird. All of the ads are like full-on act-outs between two people.

One person who doesn't know about the product and the other one who does. And the person who doesn't know about the product's life is shit. Every commercial is entirely literal.

There is no metaphors. sees the person without the product and is like, oh, hey, I see you're struggling there. Hey, why don't you try some of this stuff? It's really good. It is no metaphors. The person without the product is like, oh hey, I see you're struggling there. Hey, why don't you try some of this stuff? It's really good, it'll fix your life. And then the person goes, wow, it really does.

That's every ad. We should start an ad company here in California. We'd blow people's socks off. We really would. That would be sort of the main thing we're known for. Are you drinking that before you paid for it? I'm going to pay for it either way. That's crazy. Is that thing we're known for. Are you drinking that before you paid for it? I'm going to pay for it either way. That's crazy.

Is that crazy? I always do this. Oh, man. That doesn't sit well with old Timbo. I'll tell you that. You've got some sort of moral dilemma with drinking a thing before you... It makes me nervous, Az. Why?

It's temporary stealing. Hey, I'll buy you your drink, mate. How about that? What a cool dude. All right, I will forgive you your moral sins. No, I won't buy you your drink. I didn't make any moral sins. I disagree with you. You can buy you your drink, mate. How about that? What a cool dude. All right, I will forgive you your moral sins. No, I won't buy you your drink. I didn't make any moral sins. I disagree with you.

You can buy your own drink. You must get redemption in other ways. I don't need redemption. That sounds weirdly, like, thinly veiled sexual threat. Thank you so much for listening. Don't watch the movie. Don't tune out from what I'm saying right now. This is important stuff.

It's dark outside. It was light when we came in. It's been a weird day. And isn't that such a great metaphor for the whole podcast? Yeah. We'll leave it there. Now go to sleep. We've got a big day tomorrow.

All right. I'm doing it for the baby. This means nothing to anyone who hasn't seen the movie. All right. Bye-bye.