The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Fifty Two - Finale?

Episode Date: November 26, 2018

Guy and Tim have finally made it. It's the last viewing of Grown Ups 2, exactly one year after they started. Recorded live in front of a soldout CineFamily crowd on Sunset in Los Angeles, California. ...After a public viewing of the movie the lads have finally seen the backend of the movie. What ensues is an elated, nonsensical final romp through a film that's been a part of the boys' life for a long time. It's time to say goodbye. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I feel that I'm falling in love every day Cause before you know it, your precious time slips away Leave it, shut it down, shut it down Get rid of it Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the worst idea I said get rid of it! Welcome to the worst idea of all time. My name is Tim Batt.
Starting point is 00:00:31 My name is Guy Montgomery. And we have just watched Grown Ups 2 for the 52nd time. Okay, okay. We've got a lot to get through, so please hold your applause. For those of you who are joining us on the internet We're coming to you live from a real hub here in Los Angeles, California This is the Cinefamily on Fairfax and Thur It's a pleasure to be with you tonight
Starting point is 00:01:00 My name is Timothy and this is my friend Mr. Montgomery Yes, and we will not be speaking like this for very long at all. However, we'll keep it up as damn well long as we can. I tell you what Timothy, I'm fairly finished with it right about now. Okay, fair enough. So this is probably a good time to tell you at the end of the podcast that
Starting point is 00:01:18 guess what everybody? We're from Sony Pictures, Marketing and Publicity. And on behalf of all of us at Sony Pictures, I'd like to say gotcha!
Starting point is 00:01:34 Welcome to the second cinema release of Grown Ups 2. We're going to be rolling it out through the entire world. Why do you think there are cameras here? We're filming you sons of bitches, all right? You're a test audience and you like what we've got. We're working on a second edit.
Starting point is 00:01:50 We wanted to see which kicks flied and which ones sunk. It turns out they're all fetish. What we have built is potentially the funniest goddamn movie of all time. I'm a little worried to release it for a second run because in its first cinema run, we killed 37 people in the nation of America. We don't talk about that on camera, Tim. Not a lot, not often. Yeah, virtually never.
Starting point is 00:02:19 Lawsuits and whatnot. Yeah, that's right. Your 37 bodies, they're difficult to hide, I'll tell you that. The interesting thing about 37 people dying is, they're difficult to hide, I'll tell you that. The interesting thing about 37 people dying is, and I don't know 100%, but I'm pretty sure it's a prime number.
Starting point is 00:02:35 No one's corrected you, so I think you're onto something, Tim. Yeah? That's the largest prime number mass killing in cinema history. That's the power of grown-ups too. Yeah, a lot of people said you couldn't top two. Guess what, idiots?
Starting point is 00:02:53 All right. Listen, fool listening. It's Guy and I speaking to you. It's Timbo here. I've got the radio experience. I've got the silky smooth voice. And over here you've got Monty. Versatile and excited tobo here. I've got the radio experience. I've got the silky smooth voice. And over here you've got Monty. Versatile and excited to be here.
Starting point is 00:03:07 Welcome to the Worst Idea of All Time podcast. Bloody good to have you. The number, 1-800-Worst-Idea-of-All-Time. The fax, 1-900-Worst-Idea-of-All-Time. The email, worst at ideaofalltime.podcast. .aol.podcast. If you guys want tickets to see Dixie's Midnight Runners this weekend, you're shit out of luck.
Starting point is 00:03:34 But I'll tell you what, REO Speedwagon in your lounge, it's up for grabs. .com is our website. We're doing a lot of fucking around but the simple truth is Monty we fucking did it dude high five
Starting point is 00:03:50 one year of grown ups too thank you I couldn't be more delighted to see the ass end of this film I'm like there's a real genuine chemical feeling of elation floating around my brain right now that I am struggling to articulate in a human language. What you are feeling is the weight of...
Starting point is 00:04:12 Can I try Spanish? Muy bueno. Muy bueno. Very good. That is sort of an abridged version of how I was going to describe your feeling. But what it does really boil down to at this point, and I can speak from experience to him, is muy bueno. Which for the unfamiliar in the audience is Spanish for is okay, I think.
Starting point is 00:04:36 You're so astute and so good at languages, Monty. Do you know what I'm going to do? Dive right in. Oh, I need to keep track of how long we're talking as well. Tim Burton, you watch. He doesn't need to keep track. It really doesn't matter. He just wants you to know about it.
Starting point is 00:04:50 I've got a watch that's got all the buttons on it. It's got a calculator into it and shit, but I'm just not quite used to it yet. Did you buy that in the past? Like, really far back in the past? Oh, who will be like... Oh, wait, there's the calculator bit. Stop watching. Ah, it's cool.
Starting point is 00:05:06 It's easy to use too, right? It's just like a real basic layout. It's so much easier than these pesky smartphones we keep getting dealt. Today. You ready? Okay, let's go. The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer. Everybody run!
Starting point is 00:05:27 Ends here. This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands, now playing. So the first thing we've got to address is all of the things we've got to address. And the first one I want to tackle. I think a great time to start is right now, Tim. Wow. I want to kick off with Shining
Starting point is 00:05:50 Light. I think this is a great time to start the podcast. So do you want me to take the lead on this one? I don't want to talk about it. Okay. My Shining Light for the 50 second viewing consists of four words
Starting point is 00:06:05 Chris Rock Cargo pants I never noticed it before But that dude is rocking Some straight up Desert camel coloured Cargo pants full length
Starting point is 00:06:21 They're not three quarters, they're not zip offs They are the real fucking deal. The guy is doing a reasonably industrial job. He's got to stay practical. He's got to hold things. He's got to hold different things in different pockets.
Starting point is 00:06:32 And there's a pair of cargo pants. What provides more options than a pair of cargo pants? Fucking nothing. Legitimately, cargo pants are... If you've got things you've got to carry
Starting point is 00:06:40 and for some reason it's got to be in your pants and not in your hands, cargo pants are your number one choice. In fact, I feel like as good as Chris Rock as it's stand up
Starting point is 00:06:50 and acting, which we didn't really see on display in the movie, but I've seen in others, I feel like if we had Chris Rock cargo pants, not only is it
Starting point is 00:07:01 a great hashtag, but I feel like it's an even better company I would buy those pants. Those are trousers I'm shelling out for. Unless you trademark this tomorrow, Tim, you've just given away a million dollars, so congratulations.
Starting point is 00:07:13 I do it all the time. There's no off position to the genius switch. You know, the big sales pitch on the cargo pants is how many hands do you have, Tim? Look, I'm just a man. I have but dos hands. That's right. Alright, so imagine if hands
Starting point is 00:07:32 were pockets, right, and a regular pair of pants. How many hands do they have? Wait, you've already lost me. Two? Correct, two. Imagine if your pants had four hands. What? You're now buying cargo pants, Frank Hold on, what are you saying?
Starting point is 00:07:51 Hey, what? My pants I'm just, look So each pocket has two hands Let's not drill into it, it's not a strong argument They've got half a dozen hands It's pretty good Like, what I'm saying is if pockets were hands
Starting point is 00:08:04 Yes Cargo pants have four hands It's pretty good. What I'm saying is if pockets were hands... Yes. Cargo pants have four hands. Or more. Two back pockets, six hands. I'm underestimating cargo pants. Because I'm wearing jeans right now, okay? That's one hand. Correct.
Starting point is 00:08:21 That's one hand. So we've got two already. Yeah. We're dealing with another one down there. And you know that shit's deep and fat. You're explaining something, isn't he? That's one hand. So we've got two already. Yeah. We're dealing with another one down there and you know that shit's deep and fat. So that's another two. So we've got two, three, four, times two is eight,
Starting point is 00:08:35 plus two is ten. You're dealing with ten hands on a human. Okay. That's a lot of shit going on. That is a mighty big human. Did you have a shining light on this watch, Guy? I'm pretty sure I told you to remind me of several. What did I tell you, Tim?
Starting point is 00:08:54 Before I bring that up, let me tell you about the time when I was in Stewart Island. No. I'm trying to help you out, dude. No, no, no, no, no. I'm trying to buy you time. I'm trying to buy you time to buy me time.
Starting point is 00:09:08 No one's buying... It's not my responsibility to remember your shining lights on the last fucking episode, dude. Okay. Like, step up to the plate, bro. Shining lights. You're in the world series.
Starting point is 00:09:18 The movie... The movie... looks really good on a big screen. I'll give it that. I feel like... maybe we've got it wrong the whole time. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. I can't possibly.
Starting point is 00:09:35 Maybe we've horribly misread the situation. I can't agree with that. No, no, no, sir. No, sir. Sir, I say no. Sir. I say to no, sir. No, sir. Sir, I say no. Sir. I say to you, sir. There is something very forgiving about being in a theatre,
Starting point is 00:09:51 particularly with the amount of very large physical gags that this movie presents, and I recognise that. Hey, guess what, you pieces of shit? You laughed at the bit where they all jumped off Suicide 35 off the top rock, 35 feet above the water. My mum did that, John. My mum told me that joke when she was pregnant with me. You laughed at that.
Starting point is 00:10:09 Four grown comedic men jumping off a cliff into water, injuring themselves significantly, predominantly in the genitalia. You guys loved it. And we loved it too, the first time we saw it. Yeah, I was going to stick up for them. I think that's pretty funny, almost the whole way through. It's a good physical gag.
Starting point is 00:10:28 It's funny watching it with this many people yeah there are some jokes that you hear and you've you've got weighted expectations on them i was relieved to hear people laughing at the suicide 35 stuff there were some interesting points for you guys do you know what this has turned into a magnifying glass on you. You thought it was going to be a Q&A against Tim and Monty? You guys are fucking weird, man. Guess what, LA? We came here to fuck your shit up. You guys got some problems? We'd like to talk about them.
Starting point is 00:10:57 Here's one. I had to get some quarters today to do my laundry. I had to go to a goddamn bank. What is up with your racial segregation, LA? I hate to get too real with you on the last episode. But it was a pretty real situation at Bank of America. This is pretty real. Firstly, I almost
Starting point is 00:11:15 threw up because of how hungover I was. And that's semi-relevant to the point, by which I mean not at all. We should probably move forward from this anecdote. I don't think it relates to the movie. You're good at reading a room, Tim, and I've always said that about you. You've got a real sense for how everyone's doing.
Starting point is 00:11:35 That's you. Here's Tim in a room. Yeah, I can feel that. It's a real room for real people. Well, I mean... This is different for us you've got to be aware of that the weird thing is that somewhere in the distance I can like hear
Starting point is 00:11:50 a there's a lot of gears it's like a a small truck or a bus or something nope you can't hear that I can hear it it's like no hold on everyone shut up for a second shut up guy
Starting point is 00:12:04 uh uh uh uh uh uh in the here it's like no hold on everyone shut up shut up guy roll up for the mystery tour and roll up roll up for the mystery tour and the Steve Buscemi mystery tour Is coming to take you away Coming to take you away Take you today Oh, you son of a bitch, Timbette. I did not see you driving that bus. I'm in the front seat, man.
Starting point is 00:12:47 Okay, here we go. Here it is. Here we're at. I'm going to pass it over to you. Okay, so this is where we're at. We're at the driver's test, as you all saw. I mean, how many of you have seen this scene before in the movie? How many of you know what we're talking about?
Starting point is 00:13:02 Make some noise. Who just found out what it looks like when Steve Buscemi know what we're talking about? Make some noise. Who just found out what it looks like when Steve Buscemi explains what's wrong with him? Make some noise. It's a fine time. Well, I'm not wasting time.
Starting point is 00:13:14 I'm just excited for these people. Glad for your audience, Montgomery. I'm working my tail off up here. Doesn't look like much but I'm sweating jokes up here. Okay. I'm hemorrhaging jokes. Let's go. I'm losing a lot of jokes up here. I haven look like much, but I'm sweating jokes up here, alright? Okay. I'm hemorrhaging jokes. Let's go.
Starting point is 00:13:27 I'm losing a lot of jokes up here. I haven't heard a single one. Make me laugh, funny man. Make me laugh. This is twice as terrifying as before. Because we were together. You've got no allies anymore. You're all alone
Starting point is 00:13:43 on the battlefield of grown-ups too. There he was, 2015, a lone Kiwi lad brought up in the South Island and suddenly thrust into an environment he's not equipped or experienced in. He's in Hollywood, folks. He's in Los Angeles, California. Not only is the weather throwing him off because apparently it's winter, but fucking tell the weather that. It's like 30 goddamn degrees here.
Starting point is 00:14:10 But everything he thought was true about this country is false. The people are lovely and genuine. The air is breathable and the water, very absorbable. Guy Montgomery struggling for a thread to grab onto
Starting point is 00:14:26 in front of a theatre of 170 of his nearest and dearest. Trying to figure out the Steve Buscemi mystery tour. Why, if my name isn't Julia Andrews, I'll be damned So There I was Los Angeles, California Everything on the line
Starting point is 00:14:58 No, in all seriousness Tim The reason I'm so nervous about this Is this is the last two Buscemi Mystery Tour A.K.A. the last roll of the dice Make'm so nervous about this is this is the last Steve Buscemi mystery tour, aka the last roll of the dice. Make it a goodie. This is pretty much our last gosh diddly darn opportunity to grab onto something and say
Starting point is 00:15:13 this is exactly what happened to Steve Buscemi before the curtain is pulled back and we find out what caused this freaky motherfucking injury. I am hearing a lot of padding and I'm hearing a lot of pronouns as us and I'd like to remind you, you are alone on this stage right now. So let's make it happen, Monty.
Starting point is 00:15:30 I'm a big fan of collective pronouns. Bring it together. Little non-fact. Here we go. Steve Buscemi mystery tour, take... Take? Well, it's not 52 because we're still halfway through the podcast.
Starting point is 00:15:41 Steve Buscemi works at a trampoline store. Second-hand trampoline store. He's peddling pretty dodgy trampolines, okay? Some of this in padding at the end. Some of them are missing paddings on the side. It's not important. What's important is just open up next door is the Walmart of trampoline stores, a.k.a. Mr. Walls. Mr. Walls deals exclusively in trampolines which have those safety walls
Starting point is 00:16:05 around them. Guess what? It's not so good for business over at Mr. Buscemi's house. Hold on for a second. What? That's not so good for business over at old Buscemi's house.
Starting point is 00:16:21 That's what I'd heard. Yeah. I told you. Just before. Pretty much what's happened here is Steve Buscemi's involved in a last gasp, absolutely desperate sales pitch to a wealthy family
Starting point is 00:16:37 who have just moved into the neighbourhood. Okay, we've got a lot happening so far. I think I'm there. Yep, let's keep going. Are you with me? Because you asked a lot of me, and if you can't keep up with the details, I don't know what to do.
Starting point is 00:16:50 Steve Buscemi's got a trampoline company, but specifically the kind that has the shielding. Second-hand trampolines, idiot. Oh, second-hand. Okay, right, all right. And their family's approach. You'll catch up. Listen back.
Starting point is 00:17:00 Headed up. Here we go. So pretty much what's happened is Steve Buscemi's house is going into foreclosure. The whole business is shutting down. It's very dark. Unless he can sell this one trampoline. Like one specific trampoline or a model of trampoline?
Starting point is 00:17:15 He's just got to sell a trampoline. Like the ultimate. He's old Gil. Yeah. It's old Gil. Steve Buscemi is played by old Gil. That's a Simpsons reference. Go fuck yourself, Los Angeles.
Starting point is 00:17:28 That was very funny. Please continue. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. If I don't sell this trampoline, I guess I'm going to lose my children. It's not a very good Old Gil. It's in the ballpark.
Starting point is 00:17:43 So anyway, pretty much what happens is Steve Buscemi gets so involved in the sales pitch, he climbs aboard the trampoline, starts bouncing around saying,
Starting point is 00:17:50 hey, look what I can do. He does a sit jump into a front flop into a back flop onto his feet. The family say, that's not bad. Steve Buscemi says,
Starting point is 00:18:01 you ain't seen nothing yet. He clicks his fingers, the whole AV department blows up and baby, you just ain't seen nothing yet He clicks his fingers The whole AV department blows up And baby you just ain't seen nothing yet That's where I was hoping this was going It was a very effective marketing tool Very cool Okay love that
Starting point is 00:18:16 He was pulling out all the stars I'm love it singing at it Yeah John Lovitz walks in Steve Buscemi has a panic attack Tries to do a backflip Absolutely lands in between two of the springs on the outer rim without a pad. Jesus.
Starting point is 00:18:28 His head between them. Oh, my God. He rocks backwards in his grave, I suppose. We're talking about Chris Rock? No, Chris Rock's not involved. Oh, Wiley. He's having a spa. We're talking about Wiley.
Starting point is 00:18:40 Yeah, yeah. Stevie Simi's head's in between two springs. He breaks hisiley. Yeah, yeah. CB Semi's head's in between two springs. He breaks his back. His arms are sort of thrust into a position that they're forced into by what is essentially rigor mortis. He's later revived by one of those reviving machines. Okay. Don't you give me plausibility problems.
Starting point is 00:18:58 I'm nearly finished. You're doing really well. I'm finished. That's pretty good. I'm very happy that that's the last one. That was really good. I'm proud of you, man. I got a good feeling about it.
Starting point is 00:19:13 I'm really proud of you. Do you want to... Talk? Not really. I don't know about talking. Do you want to talk about it? Well, there was something else I had in mind, if you don't mind. I was want to talk about it? Well, there was something else I had in mind, if you don't mind.
Starting point is 00:19:29 I was going to light a couple of candles, put some Barry White on it, and just gently, just hold on. I'm not talking. Shh. Just shut up for a second. Just let me do this, okay? A popper. Popper, popper, popper. Popper, popper, popper. Popper, popper, popper.
Starting point is 00:19:47 Popper, popper, popper. Are you kidding? Popper, popper, popper. Popper, popper, popper. Popper, popper, popper. Popper, popper, popper. Popper, popper, popper. Popper, popper, popper.
Starting point is 00:19:59 Popper, popper, popper. Popper, popper, popper. Popper, popper, popper. Popper, popper, popper. Pettish watch. Morning time. Paddy Schwartz Party time It's the Paddy Schwartz party time It's Paddy Schwartz He's riding on a motorbike
Starting point is 00:20:13 He's giving out flannels You're cleaning your f*** With Paddy Schwartz He's in the tattoo parlor Getting pictures of a face on his dick Okay, alright So, here's the f***ed up thing of a piece on his dick. Okay. Alright. So, here's the fucked up thing that we haven't
Starting point is 00:20:30 talked about on the podcast yet. Here's the real life portion of the Party Schwartz Party time. We got, immediately before we came here to the venue, tattoos of Patrick Schwarzenegger's face. Not how it is now
Starting point is 00:20:45 but how it is in the movie in stencil form accompanied by a Latin interpretation of REO Speedwagon's lyrics for Live Every Moment. And Love Every Day. That sounds kind of insane when you lay it out like that all at once. But in my mind it makes perfect
Starting point is 00:21:02 sense. It sounds weird when you say it to someone at breakfast. That's when it sounds most weird. Hey, good morning. Hey, a good day to you. Buenos dias. So you're eating some muesli there, how's that? Muy bueno.
Starting point is 00:21:21 Gracias. Are you Spanish or local? Si. Espanol Spanish local soy Juan anyway
Starting point is 00:21:32 me llamo es Juan Juan si don't know what you're doing in my kitchen but um I guess while I've got you, I'll show you this.
Starting point is 00:21:51 Oh! Mucho gusto, Paddy! Yes, yes, that's right. It's a tattoo of Patrick Schwarzenegger with a Latin translation of an RU. Alto Cinco! It's kind of like high five, I think. Alto means up, though. So it's like up five.
Starting point is 00:22:14 Well, what happened is you made Juan such a weird guy. Oh, Jesus. Yes. That it was suddenly normal for me to show you my Patrick Schwarzenegger tattoo at breakfast. That's what happened. It was fun. You gustaría o enchilada de pollo, por favor?
Starting point is 00:22:37 I'm here with Tim and we're on the same fucking team. Here he is. He's back. He's ready for action. What was your Patrick Schwar Patty Schwartz party time? No, hold on. Fuck off. Who cares?
Starting point is 00:22:48 No, you fuck off. Shut up for a second. Hold on. Hey, take one of those jandals off and ram them down your sofa, guy. Guess what? I'll take them both off, friend. They're done. They're off.
Starting point is 00:22:57 I'm barefoot now. I'm exposed because I want to get exposed with you, guy. I'm going to flit over the Patty Schwartz party time so we can get to some real heavy shit because that's what I desire. My Patty Schwartz party time on this, the final one, 50 second viewing of the movie was that the dude loves checked materials.
Starting point is 00:23:16 There are checked shorts, there are checked shirts, they're on at different parts of the movies. He's not wearing them together. He just loves squares happening on and about his body. He loves checks, but not too much. He doesn't love punching them. No.
Starting point is 00:23:31 He just loves wearing them. That's right. He loves tartan. He loves other varieties of checks. So here's the question that I was trying to boil down to. Ask your new watch. Jesus, that tattoo is actually bringing me a bit of grief because it's very new and it's very tender.
Starting point is 00:23:48 I'm going to adjust my legs a little bit. My lady legs. Today. You ready? Okay, let's go. The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer. Everybody run! Ends here. This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Border run! And here. This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder
Starting point is 00:24:05 to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands. Now playing. Like, I guess my question is, alright, here's my first question. Could you have,
Starting point is 00:24:23 could you have foreseen this? Us being in America doing the last ebb? When we started, like take yourself back to one year ago. This question to me, Tim, sounds like a man running bare-assed and afraid from Patrick Schwarzenegger arriving at a party. Tell me more. The way you're talking to me sounds like you were having drinks at your sister-in-law's house
Starting point is 00:24:50 and then Patrick Schwarzenegger came around with a bottle of gin and you said, Oh, it's lovely to meet you. I've got to go. I'm not sure I am on board with what you said. Tell me what the fuck you enjoyed about Patrick Schwarzenegger in the movie just watched, or get off the stage. Did I not say Chex? Was Chex an unacceptable answer to you? No.
Starting point is 00:25:18 I just forgot. Yeah. I thought. I thought that was what would happen. See, folks, the thing is, everyone in the cinema is going, what a bunch of douchebags. I can totally watch the movie without drinking six beers. But the thing is, we've seen it literally 51 times before tonight.
Starting point is 00:25:40 Yeah, two now. In the last 12 months, And that is really saying something. So don't judge us. Tim, I've got to ask you. Judge yourselves. Did you at any point while we were watching the movie tonight feel guilty about making a room full of people watch the movie tonight? Kind of, yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:56 Mainly, like, the bit where it really kicks into high guilt gear is about three quarters of the way through when you sort of... To be honest, it's anything after when Keithy breaks his leg? Because that's the bit where the movie... And funnily enough, that's the halfway point. And we know that because we mapped out exactly in the film where we knew 50% was.
Starting point is 00:26:15 But when Keithy displays some ability in football, you're like, wow, it only took us an hour, but finally we have a thread to follow. Like, finally there's some plot and shit. And then it gets destroyed immediately in the same fucking scene by his dad who breaks his leg. Do you know what also gets me is if I was a football coach and I just saw a kid who was kicking for his first time like that, I would not be so blasé about the injury. Yeah?
Starting point is 00:26:45 I'd walk up to Adam Sandler and say, hey, dude, you've got some real parenting issues. Your son's got potential. We'll pay for his health insurance. That being said, you're a psychopath, and I think you are due a visit from some government officials because, you know, the feds don't like how you parent. Which you can take one of two ways.
Starting point is 00:27:05 Number one, Adam Sandler's a bad dad. Number two, the government's a bad government. It's up to you. The truth lies somewhere in the middle. I don't want to cut off the conservatives to this podcast. I know they're thick and strong. We've got a lot of red voters. We've got a lot of Mitt Romney types.
Starting point is 00:27:21 We've got a lot of John McCain voters. Mitt Romney is actually a very big fan of the podcast. I got a letter from Mitt this morning. Is that so? Yeah, it said, Dad, Tim and Guy, keep up the good work. If you ever want to come over for dinner,
Starting point is 00:27:37 you're more than welcome. I have 13 wives. It was a very frank, very honest letter from Milt. Or Mitt. I'll be honest with you, I didn't think you knew who Mitt Romney was, but you clearly have shown yourself to me. However you pronounce it. You're a better participant in American politics than I gave you credit for.
Starting point is 00:27:57 He's not a bad guy. He's just an idiot. You keep trying to get away from the core truth of what's happening tonight, guy. I want to know your feelings I want to know Tell me what it feels to be in front of 170 50, 20 It'll go down every time
Starting point is 00:28:16 Because we've got to head towards the truth with that there is 23 people in front of us right now making a lot of noise Very rowdy 13 We're in Los Angeles, California there is 23 people in front of us right now making a lot of noise. But how do you feel being in front of... Very rowdy 13. We're in Los Angeles, California. I'm pretty sure we're in Hollywood.
Starting point is 00:28:31 Los Angeles, California. My sense of direction isn't great, but I think we're in Hollywood right now. What are your thoughts? How do you feel about that? It's pretty good to be here. Yeah? These chairs aren't as comfortable as your couch.
Starting point is 00:28:46 Okay. But. Okay. But I've got to say, it's pretty wonderful to have people actually listening, you know, in real time to what we're saying. You know what? I don't like it. I'm not a fan. If I had to pick between Being alone in the lounge and this
Starting point is 00:29:06 I'm going to go lounge every time Tell me why In the lounge There's food There's natural light There's no people watching me I'm usually looking pretty strong at you boy Yeah
Starting point is 00:29:23 I'm eyeballing the strong at you, boy. Yeah. I'm eyeballing the shit out of you. Oh, okay. Thinking how I can get in there. Hold on. Make myself comfy. Maybe see what it feels like to be Tim Bap for a little while. Whoa, you're going in deep, huh? Yeah, real deep.
Starting point is 00:29:41 Okay. As physically deep as is possible for another human climbing into the body of another human. It's like comic book territory where you take it over me, over my skin. Sorry, boy, what were you saying? You've really thrown me for a, well, depending on what country you're from, either a curveball or a six. It's a ball sport either way and I'm very confused. Slightly aroused.
Starting point is 00:30:10 I prefer my lounge because there's like there's couches there. There are couches. We just watched the movie in a couch. I know. I know.
Starting point is 00:30:27 I like the safety of biscuits being really close to me. And in America... You are aware a biscuit in America is a... Scon. It's a sweet scone. But only in the South. We don't usually have sweet scone.
Starting point is 00:30:39 It's a cookie here. Okay. Okay, let me rephrase. Let me rephrase. The thing is, when I'm at home, I know cookies are surrounding me, and that brings me a lot of joy. That's much more obvious to me now. I'm freaking out right now because I can't see a single cookie on this.
Starting point is 00:30:55 I see a DJ booth, and I see a big screen behind us. I can't see a single cookie. I see potential. I see Blaze Pizza. That's an imitation of Patrick Schwarzenegger whenever he heard about Blaze Pizza. I don't know why we're talking about them now. We swore ourselves off those bastards. Can I talk about Sherry Oteri real quick? Yeah, you can. Because I felt like in this particular watch, she really came out to play. I feel like Sherry Oteri was here for keeps. She was playing marbles and she was losing marbles.
Starting point is 00:31:32 She's lost her marbles. Sherry Oteri's insane. But a good actor. Sherry Oteri, I was actually, you were speaking about this earlier, I felt somewhat disappointed, I think, in the audience reaction to Shuri Oteri's opening scene with
Starting point is 00:31:47 Selma Hayek. I don't know what's been happening the last year but I do know that I've for whatever reason associated that scene with sort of laughter. It didn't happen tonight. Legitimately, that was probably the biggest
Starting point is 00:32:04 scene in the movie before we got to the party scene, which, as we know, is a total throwaway. That whole third act, we can write it off. Not the biggest scene. But the interaction between Salma Hayek and Terry O'Sherry, the crowd and Cinefamily tonight on this, the 17th of February, the year of our Lord 2015, you didn't go for it.
Starting point is 00:32:28 You were rats who smelt the cheese and went I see what's happening here. Go fuck yourself. And I admire that about this crowd, but I also am confused by it because I thought that was a funny scene. I've lost your perspective clearly because I've seen the movie too many times.
Starting point is 00:32:44 But I legitimately thought that Summer Hayek and Terry O'Sherry's pairing was good. I thought it was entertaining. It's too bad they cut all of Terry O'Sherry and Summer Hayek's scenes from the movie because I agree, I thought they really popped off. I thought they were good tonight, right?
Starting point is 00:32:59 Yeah. What I think, Tim, is that we're in way over our heads here oh shit okay we're pretty good too what more do we need to cover have we
Starting point is 00:33:12 have we done all of the things I don't know hold on did you do a shining light no did he this is so much better with a crowd
Starting point is 00:33:24 because I don't have to rack my brain remembering. He was supposed to remind you. Well, here I am. You've been stalling this whole fucking time. Guess what, Guy? Like an asshole. Here we have it. There we are.
Starting point is 00:33:38 There we were. Los Angeles, California on the final watch and Guy had to determine his shining light. And it was the moment in the movie when the guy with the leotard took a sip of beer. Now, when this happened, a lot in the movie comes down hard. Let's stop playing this awful improv game. You really need to pick a fucking shining light, dude.
Starting point is 00:34:27 We can't move on until you do. Like, can I just cop out and be like, talk about the whole project and be like, Oh, I'm sorry, dude. The shining light? How about this for a fucking... How about this for a shining light, idiot? Yeah?
Starting point is 00:34:41 When the credits rolled? Yes. And we hugged because we don't have to watch the movie anymore? Yeah. How's that for a fucking shining light idiot yeah when the credits rolled yes and we hugged because we don't have to watch the movie anymore yeah how's that for a fucking shining light fuck you if I may take the
Starting point is 00:34:59 opportunity to tell you how it is as a shining light it doesn't fucking qualify because it wasn't in the goddamn movie you son of a bitch.
Starting point is 00:35:09 Let me tell you something about you Guy Montgomery. You're a fucking idiot and I hate your guts. If I had a pitchfork right now I'd jam it through your goddamn chest and murder you. You'd be pretty lucky to get through
Starting point is 00:35:25 this chest, pal. That being said... I've been eating muesli bars since we were in the desert and guess what? I'm feeling pretty goddamn near to invincible. You put a pitchfork into my body, I think it's gonna crumble like a goddamn spork in a coconut.
Starting point is 00:35:41 What is your understanding of muesli? What do you think it does? It makes me feel like I'm Zeus. You're an idiot. You're a bonafide fucking moron. Zeus wasn't quick with his brain, but he was fucking quick with a lightning bolt, bitch! I'm Zeus right now.
Starting point is 00:35:59 You're not Zeus, dude. And I'm chicken out of this conversation, bitch. I understand, I understand. Listen, where are we at? I'm not sure. We need to place ourselves in space and time right now. Well, I think that... Welcome to the end.
Starting point is 00:36:17 Yeah. The end. Well, if there was ever an anti-Crescendo That was it If there was ever The worst way to end the worst idea of all time Pretty sure you nailed it bro Way to stay on brand
Starting point is 00:36:36 Proud of you I'm proud of myself Hey I'm Guy Montgomery I'm Tim Batt Don't watch Good enough Listen On a serious note
Starting point is 00:36:51 Before you leave Yes Brett We brought you Some presents To take with you Back To New Zealand Oh shit Brett
Starting point is 00:36:59 It's cute Let's have a third round Of applause for Brett Because he's fucking earned it This shit's all up to him. Cine Family on Fairfax and Sunset. Oh, fuck off. That's cool.
Starting point is 00:37:12 Oh, shit. Oh, my God. So we are currently holding a promotional Grown Ups 2 visor, which seems like official crew swag, a cookie which may or may not contain any weed. No, that's because you've been asking for a cookie for what
Starting point is 00:37:32 feels like 10 hours, you fucking moron. But more importantly, guys currently wearing are grown-ups to what are they called when they're in the water? What's the correct terminology? It's like a donut, right? A what?
Starting point is 00:37:46 An inflator tube. In a tube. An inner tube. It's an inflator in a tube and it's grown up to be branded. This is the heaviest biscuit I've ever fucking lifted. Feel it. I gave it to you.
Starting point is 00:37:59 I've already felt it. Do it. I literally picked it up to put it in your hand. I'm not going to lie to you. It's wet. Not a bad quality in a biscuit. That's not altogether a bad thing. I want to take this opportunity on behalf of myself and Guy
Starting point is 00:38:23 to thank you guys so much for turning out tonight. You guys are wonderful. Give yourselves a round of applause. Truly. That applause is for you. You're amazing. Thank you. And so, just, look, what I did is I wanted you guys to, hey.
Starting point is 00:38:43 What I did. Come on. We, what we did. We threw. What I did. Come on. We, what we did. We threw a little... Did you fight on stage? No. I just... Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:51 I felt like you did. I didn't fight. Okay. Look, I made a little... We made a little thank you video for you guys. Tim made it. I definitely made it. I was in the room about half the time.
Starting point is 00:39:06 But look, it's not that long and I just wanted to present it to you guys here at the live event because you're wonderful. Yeah, cheers for coming out. This is a weird situation. We're really happy we're here. We're even more happy you're here. Let's get out of here. And we're gonna
Starting point is 00:39:21 bail. So enjoy the video. Thanks for coming. Tim and Guy, goodnight. here let's get out of here and we're gonna mail so enjoy the video thanks for coming tim and guy good night today you ready okay let's go We'll be right back.

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