The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Five - Acaster Dos

Episode Date: April 3, 2015

In this fifth watch of Sex and the City 2, Tim and Guy welcome back friend of the podcast James Acaster as a coping mechanism. The episode that follows a gruelling fifth watch of the film covers an exciting new name for small vibrators, Carrie’s precarious standing as a fashion icon, a role play of just how the movie got over the line in the first place and an exciting new theory on just exactly where our favourite extra is off to. Spirits are neither high nor low, the movie is undeniably too long and you can’t see it, but the boys have fear in their eyes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the worst idea of all time It's the worst idea of all time It's the worst idea of all time See your true colors And that's why I love you So don't be afraid To let them show Your true colours Your true colours

Oh, now we all got it right. Well, that was then. That was an edit. They edited that. I will not stand with this triggery. It's supposed to be true colours. True colours are beautiful like a rainbow. And they edited one of the true colours out.

Because clearly, by that point at the end of the film, they decided, no, it'd be too long if we keep both of those. We've got to shave off some precious seconds. And we are off and running with episode five of the worst idea of all time. Our distinct pleasure and honour to welcome back to the fold, Mr James Acaster. Glutton for punishment, back for more. Can't believe it.

First of all, James, do you want to paint a picture of where we're located in the current situation? Well, I'm in room 83 of the Adina Hotel. Very specific. In Melbourne on Queen Street. Well, I'm living for a month at the Melbourne Comedy Festival. And, you know It's been nice welcoming you here

To my temporary home It's a lovely place you've got here You look exceptionally comfortable In fact right now You're wearing naught but a dressing gown Just my blue dressing gown Got for two Christmases ago this is That's not even a hotel provided gown

No this is mine I bring this with me in a suitcase When I'm travelling It's quite a big thing to pack, a dressing gown. Well, you know, it's a bit thick, isn't it? The fabric's a bit thick, so it's a bit... But I use it to like... I wrapped up some speakers in it as well,

so it's like dual purpose. Nice one. Stopping speakers from getting damaged. You're a smart guy. James, what did you think of the movie, mate? Sex and the City 2? We've just watched it for the first time. You've watched it for the first?

That's the first time I've ever seen it. Your thoughts? I don't know how you're really going to do this one. I think the last one was very... I mean, yeah, the last one was really bad and I thought, oh, this is going to drive you insane. But this one is worse, much worse, much more confusing

and it's suddenly conflicting emotions while watching it. Growing up too, you can watch it and just go, well, this is just an awful film and they've and it's confusing how it got made and stuff like that and this has all of that as well but on top of it there's like quite a lot of political issues yeah uh especially as a man watching it that you feel and you just you start hating yourself at some point so you start like i'd say every 10 minutes i'd be outraged and then i'd think am i misogynist? Talk me through what that train of thought is, how that happens.

Because that suggests to me, and I know that this isn't correct because you verbalised what was happening as the film was unfolding, that the film has put forth its feminist message loud and clear and effectively and made you realise that as a proponent and a pusher forward of the paternalistic system that we're working under, that you're to blame. But that's not really what's happening here. No, but what happens is that it does put forward a feminist message.

And... I am woman, get me wrong. Yeah. Sorry, I'm just singing. The woman's song. It's just going to be a background noise, will you? Yeah. That seemed very powerful scenes like that as well yeah the the when she's getting shouted out in the street um because she's dropped all the condoms on the floor and then

she's just like scroll yo i tell all those guys and stuff like that and in isolation you go yeah i'm pretty much on side with that and i agree with the message of that so it's a good feminist message in a way but thrown into a film that is appalling and that the characters are awful in other ways. So the ways that they're awful, not because they're women, it's because they're just materialistic, rich people who are complaining about rich person problems

which the general public can't really relate to. Moreover, I think it's the idea of these four women wading into the Middle East and resting back control on behalf of the gender from the the middle east like you know don't worry america's here yeah yeah and we fuck exactly it's like this movie is the cultural equivalent to to when they went in with no exit plan yeah they're just going in vain they're like we're here we're gonna fix everything it's like cool all of our schools have been bombed and we have no electricity what's the plan guys we've done it we're out we'll see you later everything's gone swimmingly mission

accomplished and the tragedy that makes them leave is that they have to start paying for stuff yeah so they go we can't this is this i'm out we can't do this we've got to leave this luxury that we've been living in for ages we can't't actually afford it, so we better go back. That's the tragedy that happens. And that's America, folks, living on a credit card. At some point, you've got to pay the piper, and then that's when you leave Abu Dhabi. Yeah, full of pipers.

I can't get over it, and this has been said too much already. It will certainly be said a lot more. I can't get over the length of this film. I can't get over it length of this film i can't get over it when you guys said to me the film really starts when they're in abu dhabi i couldn't believe you because it was at the point where they'd only been in new york and i thought well this is surely the whole film no and an hour had already passed yeah i equated it today to the youtube pre-roll so there's an hour of pre-roll and then you get to watch your cat video. But your cat video is not a cat video. It's just a fucking bloated mess.

You get the impression it's a load of rejected episodes of Sex and the City put into one. They were going to do a gay wedding episode. So they go, we'll just make that the start of the film. A karaoke night one. You don't need any of that in there. It doesn't need to be in there at all. It doesn't actually really relate to anything. If you boil it down, what parts of the movie do you think did need any of that in there yeah yeah it doesn't actually really relate i mean

okay what if you boil it down what parts of the movie do you think did need to be in there for it to hold yeah um i think they could have just had it they could have cut to abu dhabi very quickly have a 10 a 10 minutes uh like 10 minutes of preamble where you establish what their concerns are in their own relationships or whatever and just quickly while we're diving into this could you please just rush through the the stakes for each individual character yeah sure so uh samantha uh she wants to do a lot of fucking yeah that's right and um when she goes to uh abu dhabi she hasn't got her uh menopause medication so she's not going to start to uh she she's not going to want to fuck as much so that's really that's how difficult for her because she's

gonna be away for all of a week or something like that yeah um so that's very hard um there's uh carrie is the main character she um her and her husband who uh so they're having problems because um he bought her the main problem is that he bought her a widescreen flat screen television that pulls out of the wall that they can watch in bed and she would have rather had some jewelry that's the main problem you are dead on that's made her doubt their relationship um and so you know uh you know and he even suggested that sometimes, you know, he goes and spends some time in their second apartment on his own. That's not a big problem.

That upset her quite a lot. Well, when you put it like that. Yeah, so she's worried about their marriage and if that'll be okay. Charlotte? Charlotte, her nanny doesn't wear a bra and she's worried that means her husband will instantly bang her so uh that's that's frankl the old horndog that's concerning uh for her and uh the miranda doing well her problem is that uh she's on her phone too much and too obsessed with work to spend time

with her family a problem which she resolves before going to abu dhabi and so she has no problems she's just genuinely enjoying herself in abu dhabi there's no problems for she's she's delved into the culture a bit and that's it yeah that was that was good i mean and in that what what were you at what point were you invested in the characters? Were you like, oh God, I hope they resolve this? Yeah, at no point, sadly. Because for one, I mean, it's been said many times that men can't write good female characters.

And so I would suggest they shouldn't have had a man write all this. And I'm aware he probably wrote a lot of the very successful TV series. I think that is the case. He's a hugely admired screenwriter. But i just felt like there were four identical characters apart from one of them like fucking yeah yeah that was it one of them and then the tv show that i think they all like fucking so it's just kind of it just changed up for the movie a little bit yeah because it just seemed like they were just the same he didn't make four different characters so and also none of them there wasn't ever a point when

they were really in danger there wasn't a point was like i don't think this is going to work out for them yeah she kissed a guy yeah she should have slept with a guy if you want to yeah you want to really go oh god i was just going to turn out suggesting that the film probably would have been more exciting and the justification for being shot in the middle east more resonant if they had been kidnapped by al-qaeda held to ransom they're obviously a bunch of rich white american woman yeah if you're a terrorist organization operating in the middle east that's a prime they're not exactly subtle over there are they they're loud and garish you took a lot of issue with the way carrie dressed herself you zoned in on the fashion quite hard james well i couldn't believe that she was meant to be a fashion icon For the whole film

She dresses really cool That's her thing It's like a joke from Dumb and Dumber That someone would say they're a fashion icon And then dress like that for the whole film It's a funny joke That's a hilarious over the top Not subtle family brothers joke

When she wore that crown at the wedding The crown is sensational Because the line that she says What does she call the flower thing of his joke it's not uh when she wore that crown at the wedding the crown is sensational because the line that she says is uh the what does she call the flower thing well i don't know what do you call you know it's like a corsage she's like the corsage may say bradshaw but the good news the corsage says preston oh that's sorry because that's her married name under big yes she may say preston but the hat says and then pauses and Guy and I have taken to filling in that blank gap now Because the crown

Says Queen of Narnia, Evil Overlord It looks like, yeah, the undead ruler of Hades Or something It's a black webbed crown That's kind of like those headbands you see Because it doesn't go fully around And I think either you One of you two speculated that it was a joke

Amongst a fashion design firm Yeah, yeah Just to see if they could sneak it in Get it over the line It looks like creeping death Personified on a head I just wanted to tux with it Should we point that out?

Yeah And her hair is heavily crimped Yeah, and she's going to a wedding She's going to her friend's wedding wearing that And she's not just in the congregation She's on the stage She's wedding wearing that it's not just in the congregation she's on the stage she's the best man party because it's a progressive unconventional wedding yeah that's the thing that i find so funny about this as well the whole movie um at the start is just taking this big old smug pat on the back because they're featuring so many gay characters

and things and i was like yeah when sex in the city started in the late 90s that probably was a reasonably progressive thing to do there wasn't a lot of tv shows that had gay characters and things. And I was like, yeah, when Sex and the City started in the late 90s, that probably was a reasonably progressive thing to do. There wasn't a lot of TV shows that had gay characters and stuff. When did this movie come out? 2010. 2010. Even then, it's just like, holy shit, guys. It's like, we're good now.

We could probably normalize that a little bit. You've actually, by being so self-congratulatory You've become what you hate And you are now the ones who are making fun of gay culture They did plant Mr Big It In the film Mr Big It Very clever

Nice one guys He was sort of the representation of the old guard He was the old dinosaur He couldn't quite wrap his head around the idea of just a gay wedding. But what's annoying with that whole thing as well, because the characters... So at one point at the gay wedding, one of the guys who's about to get married says,

yeah, I'm basically allowed to cheat on him. Yeah. And they're all like, oh, okay. And they kind of take a while, then they adjust and go, it's fine. Let's be open-minded about this. Yeah. And later on, Carrie says, oh, yeah, my husband and I,

we're going to have just two days off a week. And everyone, like, one of the same characters who was okay with the cheating thing is just like, what? How are you even going to cope with that? Almost, you might as well have gone but you're not gay yeah you're not gay people who don't understand the actual stance of marriage gay people can't be well i mean they can't help it they're gay they can't help but mess around with people but you're straight you should you should be committed to each other there's an

interesting inference that i had not picked up in the film before james it's just meant to be okay but yeah yeah they're gay so that they're's a different, it's a new future. We don't understand it. I feel like we're raining opinions that aren't necessarily positive about the film, and that's fair enough. I mean, it's not necessarily a good film, but maybe we could inject some positivity

in the form of a shining light. Oh, something's going on with your mic there, fella. Just unplug that cable and plug it back in. You're wanting to do a shining light. Good little segue into that guy. They smell very nice. The mics. My mic smells lovely.

That just could be the bottom of your nose because in my experience, these microphones don't smell particularly good. I like it. It smells new. Box fresh. We're right over here, Tim. Talking to Box Fresh.

We've been having some fun with a vibrator. That's right. We're not going to name who it was provided by but there is a small vibrator on the table here tell you what boys for safety I'm going to come and sit next to you because I can't actually tell if your mics are working at the moment which is a weird thing

how long has that been the case for? oh no just now something's changed but that's cool I'll come and sit by you and we'll do this alright what a wonderful little interlude in the podcast.

People always enjoy technical difficulties in podcasts. Yeah, yeah. It's a beautiful thing. Lean on in, boys. Let's get in there. Let's get in there nice and deep. Me and my dressing gown. Yeah.

Guy holding a vibrator. Like a cigar. Like a cigar. Between his two fingers. Do we want to give any context as to why there's a vibrator in the situation now? Durex are trying to sell products. Yeah. It's a nifty little pocket vibrator.

You can probably put the mics down if you want, guys. I don't think they're working. Truly. Durex sent, we should point out, they sent the vibrator to Guy and my girlfriend, Rose, but not separately, as if you were a couple, in an Easter egg. So there's an Easter egg with a vibrator in it, and it's like, you know, sexy Easter, and it's meant to be like, you know. To be fair.

Two platonic friends. The letter that accompanied it very much insinuated you would be using that together as well. Well, Rose and I have discussed that we're going to be using a sort of timeshare system where week on, week off, we were talking about the ease with which you can clean this particular as well so um well Rose and I have discussed it we're going to be using a sort of timeshare system we're in um week on week off we were talking about the ease with which you

can clean this particular vibrator run it under some hot water probably boiling hot yeah

well I've heard a lot from you too but I want to hear what the vibrator has to say about the matter to be honest

that's great that's power that's a magic bullet I think if you're wondering what kind of vibrator we're not holding

a massive vibrator it's a little magic bullet little dinky guy um so clitoral stimulation presumably shining light you'd put the whole way in is it uh just a little tickle yeah a dabble they should call it that the durex dabble i'd call it the cliticlet nice i feel like you got that from somewhere i feel like that's not a bit of like you know watching sex in the city just some subliminal stuff goes in i mean stuff like that with nothing else it probably teaches you how to advertise which i seem to be obsessed with doing uh so back to the shining light james i get the feeling you didn't particularly enjoy the viewing experience i hated it um what what what was your takeaway at what point did you laugh or did you enjoy yourself and think you know what that's that's not bad

um at what point did i laugh and think that's not bad um i god that's very difficult guy very difficult with this one um i think uh i don't know because like there was a bit that was so unnecessary that i laughed like lisa minnelli singing all the single ladies at the wedding that just made me laugh and i liked to sit in that but i didn't like it i thought it was an awful addition it shouldn't have been in the film um that was my my shining light in the first week right yeah so it's like probably the only thing you can really hold onto the first time you see it. Um, I think,

uh, it's definitely a line or two. Maybe the Jude Law joke. Oh, wow. You are scrambling, aren't you? Yeah.

I know you didn't like it. You just remember it is what's happening here. I didn't really like it. No, not at all. You went into the trouble of explaining that you don't think it necessarily works as a joke it doesn't really work as a joke which you felt the same way about the camel toe bit as well when the camel falls off the camel i can allow the camel toe joke it's when miranda says she's having herself a little sandwich oh yeah that's right

i think the the functioning part of the joke is meant to be about the food of a sandwich. Which is wholly separated from the... No one's eating. They're on camels. No one's eating anything. And then the other iteration, which you've tried to explain to me when you were sticking up for the joke in conversation, is sand wedge. Yeah, it's like a wedgie. She's wedged her...

Yes. From the sand. Yeah, that's what it is. But I don't get... There's no second there's no I mean you're a good comedian James can you maybe explain what I'm missing here

no no you don't listen to anything basically the reason why the joke works on some level is because she's in the sand and her

trousers and pants are wedged in her vagina but at no point is there any kind of anything to do with food so really to make the joke work properly you have to have it that sandwich is irrelevant so yeah someone should be eating a sandwich well yeah it would have to be charlotte would have had to been eating a sandwich say they were going out to the desert for a picnic

yeah that was the main reason for them to go in and they went we're about to have well we haven't even started the picnic and you you already got yourself a sandwich. Nice. I guess that's what they're getting at. That's kind of funny. I didn't spell it out enough because they are in the camels. Remember they go out. Oh, yeah, they're going for lunch. They're going for lunch.

So they could have made that joke. Could have said that. Could have said the camel toe thing. It's like it could have been like instead of saying you got a camel's camel toe from a camel or whatever it was they said. It doesn't make sense. No, a real camel camel toe. That's what they say, yeah. They should have said camel toe.

Yes. And then she should have looked at the camel's feet and then they would have gone, no, camel toe. You should have consulted on this film, James. If you've got camels there

and someone's got a camel toe, well, you do that joke, don't you? Well, you would. You were riffing out some other good ideas you um you had a great line that Samantha missed

yeah she's so quick with words and she's a sassy cat yeah what was that one it was uh it was um I could go

and see some souks I think and they uh they or do something with souks and one of them said you know

uh we can go down uh do you like it was like do you like it we with souks and one of them said you know we can go down do you like it was like do you like it or we can souks or something like that and some amateur said I souk I can souk or something like that I love to souk I'm glad we went into that guys there was a big

payoff if you remembered what the original line was it would have been better but it was basically a put on sucking. That was, I mean, the setup to it was there. Yeah. She said, we can sook. I think she said, we can sook. And I think she should have said, I can sook all the time.

Yeah, there you go. And then give a mime of the blowjobs. That kind of sexy thing. Yeah. Could have used more mime blowjobs. I thought that too. She does that every week. Tim, what was your shining light?

My shining light was the fact that Aiden, it really does sound like he's named his kids after a country band like that was his vision that was his dream it's always been his dream to form a family traveling country band and uh i i think there's something quite cool about that you know there's a better film in that is that what you're saying well there's different i'm not i am absolutely saying that first off uh there's something very funny about parents who try to live vicariously through their children but something even more funny about a thread which they haven't ever pursued themselves in their own life that they decide later in adulthood that they're going to throw their children into. And how more forcefully can you do it than naming your children in a scheme that would naturally add up to a travelling family country band?

So you think that there's something more sinister behind Kerry's observation, like Aidan is, he's got a plan, he's implementing. Yeah, but I don't think it's sinister. I find it hilarious. That's wonderful. Yeah. What's your shining light guy uh i'm in much in the same situation as james and then i don't have one and i'm just scrambling he was struggling very much during this i mean you both struggled quite a bit when uh when tim was struggling he uh relieved it by looking out the window for like five seconds and at one point, when I arrived at this hotel about a week ago, there's this dish of nuts and dried fruit.

And I dared him to eat a fig that had been there for a week. So he did it. That was how he got through the film. And it was not a good fig. It was a horrible fig. And it still had some of the stalk in it that I had to spit out. What kind of rookie hotel are you living in here, mate? It's a classy hotel.

My shining light, just for the gosh darn sport of it, is going to be the abs on the Australian rugby team after their sweaty practice match. All right, let's drill in. Phenomenal bodies. I think we can all agree on that. Something to goal, something to work towards. Jesus, that's such a bleak shining light. We had a discussion, I think, can all agree on that. Something to goal, something to work towards. Jesus, it's such a bleak shining light.

We had a discussion, I think, not on mic, but during the movie, last time, Guy, about the fact that the setup to that doesn't make any sense. The fact that the rugby teams are there, because the way that they're introduced at the pool is one of the people who works at the hotel says, oh, they're here for the, what is it? It's like the warm-up for the Rugby World Cup. Yeah, so there's some sort of Rugby World Cup warm-up tournament taking place in Abu Dhabi.

And if it's a qualifier, that's fine, but they've got in the best teams in the world who have presumably already qualified for the World Cup. It is insanity. Pick a sport that would make some semblance of sense. And secondably, I mean, if it's Abu Dhabi, there must be hotels all over the place. You wouldn't put every single team

who are competing against one another in one hotel. That's asking for trouble. I reckon they should start doing that, though. That's awesome. You like that as a wrinkle? Yeah, I really do. They should start doing that in sports, generally. like that as a wrinkle yeah i really do they just start doing this in sports generally they should put all the teams in the same hotel and

just see what happens they should room players from opposing teams together introduce a psychological element to the this sounds like something big brother would do if they got their hands on a franchise i can even do it so the arrangement of the rooms the same as the scrum so that they're all like what position you are in the scrum is what room you're in against each other so across from each other in the hall so when they have to go out into the corridor in the morning they just lock immediately into a scrum it's becoming quite physical as well as mental almost uh it brings up visions of um mighty morphin power rangers when they all combine to form a greater unit that's kind of the visual i'm getting from that. That's one of the many

things this film was missing was a Mighty Morphin Power Rangers moment. Sorry about all the weird noise that's going on folks I'm trying to improvise with the microphone's not working so I'm just trying to shed some wax. Yeah it's become dropping weight like a spacecraft it's become a pretty dying, pretty

streamlined set up here. We've gone from each having an individual handheld mic And Tim on the TASCAM To Tim holding the TASCAM with his maroon beanie Sitting atop it and no cords coming out of it It's operating like a pop shield If anyone's watching now We are three men talking into a hat

That is all that is happening I like the thing that Tim's not recording And this is a weird little social experiment He's running for himself I want to see how long I can get you guys talking into my head before the absurdity of the situation gets the better of you. Now James, this is something we did with you

when you guest host with us on the first season. We're in... Tim and I are studio executives. We're looking to make a film. You have an idea that you've brought into our office yeah the idea is sex in the city too yeah could you please sell us this film well yeah i should say before i do it though um this is how i think they genuinely pitched it and i think that the original i don't think the

final film was the original idea and that the person pitching it saw the doubt in people's eyes and kept on adding ideas as they went along so so what are you going to pitch? Are you going to pitch what we saw? I'm going to do the pitch that they did so the pitch that they did

and you'll be able to tell from the pitch when the board are looking like they do not like the film. Here we go. All right. Oh, hello. Come in.

Come in, please. Hey, guys. Great new exciting opportunity for you. Brilliant feature film. This is going to be a blockbuster. Okay. No brainer. We get a lot of these offers coming across our table, James.

We don't have much time. Please tell us what you're talking about. Do you remember Sex and the City? Oh, yeah. My girlfriend made me watch that. Yeah. Bloody atrocious. Oh, she loved it, right? She loved it. we don't have much time please tell us what you're talking about do you remember Sex and the City oh yeah my girlfriend made me watch that yeah bloody atrocious oh she loved it right

she loved it and so many people love it I think it's sequel time Sex and the City 2 okay it's gonna okay no hear me out

it's gonna be here's the idea for the film remember there's gay characters in it yes it's a gay wedding is the film okay

and it's a gay wedding do you know. Okay. And it's a gay wedding. Do you know what? That's just the start. Okay. Liza Minnelli is there at the wedding. I'm not getting a lot of... And her? I mean, yeah.

These are just sort of scattershot ideas. What we need is a... No, this is the intro. So it's probably just the first half hour of the film. It's the gay wedding. Okay. And so gay wedding That sets up the characters

That wasn't going to be the whole thing So after that And then like They're all having problems right And like the main drive of the film Is that Miranda's having a problem with her marriage She's too busy with work And she just keeps on checking her phone

And neglecting her kid And then she eventually goes to the science fair at the end of the film. I'm sorry, okay, you're just kind of throwing more words in science fair. So the whole film is they go to a wedding, and then Miranda watches a child at a science... This is not... No, that's not the whole film. No, no, no, no, no.

So she does that, and meanwhile, like, one of the one who sleeps with people, right? So she slept with a movie star. You're talking about Samantha. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Samantha, I forgot your girlfriend made you watch it. So Samantha invites them all to Abu Dhabi. I'm terribly sorry.

You're going to have to... Sorry, so we were at a science fair a moment ago. We're going to Abu Dhabi. This is one film. It kind of feels like you're all over the shop right now. No, no, no. That stuff was like to get to know the characters at the wedding and the science fair a moment ago we're going to Abu Dhabi this is one film it kind of feels like you're all over the shop right now that stuff was like uh to get to know the characters at the wedding and the science fair and now uh now it's Abu Dhabi's the main film that's the main film why are we going to Abu Dhabi because of women's rights and uh four main characters are women and so you know you want to fish out of water you want to you want to get in somewhere where it's like people aren't okay with it so i we're going to put them there where there's

like burkas and accents and stuff and uh and we'll send them there and while they're there uh one of them uh will not have sex much and she'll want to a lot actually and uh and one of them will kiss a man which is that's a big and, which is, that's a big... And she's married, so that's a big no. And probably an irreversible... I mean, how's she going to get out of that? Probably not by a swift apology. And then, you know, they can't stay

because they can't afford it. And then they go home. And then they've got to... I'm thinking that when they get home, we should just resolve everything in one montage and then we'll end the film okay I like the end

the montage yes yes yes yes I feel like we have the bones of something here okay sweeten the deal before we stop before you say no sweeten the deal

there is a woman wearing no bra and we get a t-shirt at one point. Okay, well... Can you see nipples? Yes. Well, I think we've got our movie. I think...

James, thank you so much for coming in and bringing this fantastic idea for a film. Thank you for having me. How much money are you going to need for this? A lot of... Let's not talk about that right now. Okay, and what sort of run time are we talking

how long do you foresee this film being about five hours okay okay because Ben Hur was only four from memory

yeah well Ben Hur didn't tackle as many issues we've got gay marriage we've got women's rights in the Middle East this is going to be great for the

for our production we're going to look like heroes yeah you've got a lot of things that we're doing with here all all equal rights across the board do you foresee any circumstance in which this movie could maybe be poorly received or go off the rails and become offensive only by misogynists only people who will not like this is a missile what we do is we put scenes in there that strongly like have a strong feminist message so

that people feel that they can't fully have a go at it that's brilliant it's like an insurance policy for the movie against critics this is this is great it's a new kind of filmmaking I'm pioneering now where if we make a really bad

film we put two scenes in there that actually got quite a good political This is great. It's a new kind of filmmaking I'm pioneering now where if we make a really bad film, we put two scenes in there that have actually got quite a good political message in there. Yeah, and it insulates the rest of the film. That kind of means like, back off. I know we just said all this stuff, but we're also saying this. You're going to have a big career in this business, kid. Thank you very much. That was bloody brilliant.

That was excellent. I'm going to get a man to write it. And I actually, I think that genre of filmmaking, there's a lot to be said for that. Make something abhorrent, but insert two throwaway lines of genuine kind of justice or, you know, like social justice or just good ethical messages. And then you've insulated the rest of your film from critique. You go, oh, I agree with that.

But then they didn't write the song, I Am Woman. Well, no, but they performed it, James. And that's as good as. That's almost the same thing. You take something actually, you know, quite admirable that someone else has done, and you just put that in your piece of shit. It's been a hell of a journey with you here today. I know that you said right quite early on, you said said I don't know how you guys are going to do this

and I would like to echo that feeling I don't know how we're going to do this we've got to play through our one feature of the movie I never want to see that film again well the good news for you James is you don't have to I just don't know how you're going to watch it even again

I've watched it five times I remember watching Gr-ups too with you and you were sort of you you survived fine you got through yeah you were like this at some point this movie broke you and you kind of you threw your arms in despair like that was one viewing yeah one viewing it's always part of throwing my arms in despair is going i can't imagine having to watch it every week i just don't i don't know how well how you can do it i ran the sums every sitting for the podcast and record is an equivalent of 10 percent of a of a 40 hour working week and we still haven't monetized this operation so i don't

know what the fuck we're doing tim we're throwing money down a well and our sanity closely behind it but we can't talk about that right now because it's time for What's he doing? Where's he off to? We've got to nail that name, don't we? We'll get it right one week. So we pointed out to you, James.

Yeah. There's an extra, a featured extra in the film who is a real scene stealer. He's a real go-getter. I haven't looked up the IMDb page, but I'm presuming He won't be credited.

He will be. He'll be called, like, Caffeine Overlord or something. No, we've named him that. We've given him that. What do you think demanded this level of urgency and caffeine from this character in this film? What's he off to do? I think...

Well, for one, I don't think he's drinking that much. I think this is a man who has forgotten he's finished his coffee. Every second. Yeah, so, like, I don't think he's drinking that much I think this is a man who has forgotten he's finished his coffee every second yeah so like I don't think he keeps on going like I was like oh no

there's none in there and then I was going for it and then I was like oh fuck yeah there's no coffee in there at all and then like and then eventually he's like

well I have to get out of this cafe before I keep on trying to drink that empty empty mug of coffee that is I feel like an idiot and he's just leaving so he stops

embarrassing himself in front of everyone. Absolutely wonderful. Thank you so much. That's it from us this week. Another quick shout out that we're in Melbourne so Google

Guy Montgomery's name which is said Guy Montgomery. Please come along to my show. It's called Rosemary Faye and Guy Montgomery are friends. In it we will be

showing you exciting new ways to use this vibrator provided to us by Jury James you also got a show I have it's at 9.45 at the Town Hall it's called James A. Castor

I love these plugs will apply to almost no one yeah that's what I like about them that's what I love about podcasts yeah no one

no one is going to be no there'll be there'll be someone in Melbourne who will find someone in Melbourne tell them to google our names and Melbourne Festival

will come up but then I guess anyone who's in Melbourne who's listening to your podcast is already fans and will be coming anyway yeah and we've we've been hanging out

with them Brian shout out to Brian we were bloody on the on the lash gently with Brian last night he's a great guy. Great guy.

He came through like 40 of the podcasts in one week earlier this year to catch up on last season. He's not healthy, Brian. We're worried about you. Not good for you, but you're a nice man. We'll catch you around. So we'll see you next time on The Worst Idea of All Time where we gear up to watch Sex and the City 2 for the sixth time.

My name is Tim Batt. My name is James Acaster. My name is Tim Batt. My name is James Acaster. My name is Guy Montgomery. Analyze your life decisions. It's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea of all time It's the worst idea of all time It's the worst idea of all time Season 2