The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Five: It's Duck

Episode Date: January 7, 2019

Tim has been on his honeymoon and had a three week break from the movie. Upon his return to hanging out with the gals, he discovers the boys have been watching different cuts of the film (maybe?) Guy is discovering Pamplemousse-flavoured La Croix and Big's breeding rats. Some highly blasphemous business pitches are chucked around and we dive into what Timbo has deemed ‘The Deep End of The Pool’. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We just have a good rhythm together, you know, he sort of feels me out, I feel him out, and we go for it. Push the tempo, push the tempo, push the tempo up, push the tempo, push the tempo, push the tempo, push the tempo, push the tempo, push the tempo, push the tempo up, push the tempo, and shake with your mama game, yo! push the tempo and share it with your mama gave you hello and welcome to the worst idea of all time secret season at numero four we've recorded these episodes heading away what five what do you mean five is the fifth episode oh i said seasons the fourth season. Fourth secret season. We've hidden away in a cupboard. That's right. I mean, listen, mate. Ears are for listening. So I got two of those in one mouth and a microphone.

That's right. And I'm going to abuse the sweet powers that, you know, our Lord and Savior God has given me by using my ears to listen to the happenings of sex in the city, using my eyes to watch what happens, and using my mouth to describe my experience to you, Tim Batt, who is essentially a proxy for our listener. How are you, Tim? Tell me about your life. Go on, Montgomery.

I'm oh so good. Before I get on to my life, I'd just like to take this opportunity, because we really do it, to welcome in new listeners if this is your first go around here i'd like to explain what we do here at worst idea enterprises and that is guy montgomery and myself timothy andrew bat watch and review a film uh ad nauseum that's kind of the whole that's the ticket that's the whole thing that's the show we've done a whole year of Grown Ups 2. Then we did Sex and the City 2. Then we did We Are Your Friends.

Now here we are with Sex and the City. How many episodes of this do you think we'll get through? It's hard to say. This one's a bit of a doozy. I think we'll get through many, many, many episodes. So this week's episode is slightly unique. There's probably been a pretty substantial laydown period. Tim, you've been on a honeymoon?

This is the beautiful thing about recording them all in secret. There will be no exposure to the lag for you, the good listener. But yeah, I've been away for like three weeks. I've been out of the goddamn country. Away from my home, away from solid internet connections, of the goddamn country away from my home away from solid internet connections and most importantly away from the gals yeah and uh while you were away we did actually schedule an episode um yes i think while you were in in bali indonesia and i was uh i did my due diligence i watched the film I made my notes uh and I showed up for game day

and uh you due to some sort of programming error um did not I didn't even bring my boots no you were on the field doing you were warming up your hammies just waiting for the rest of the players to take to the pitch I was in the dressing room what do you call it on a sports fair yeah you got it it's called a dress house but yeah i was in the dressing looked at my pack and my boots weren't even in there mate i had a gatorade and that was it yeah i hadn't i hadn't brought the movie with me is what i'm trying to get at and that is um that leaves us in quite the unique position now, whereby we're recording.

I've watched the movie probably about a week ago now. You've watched the movie incredibly recently. And I figured, because it almost felt disingenuous, it's 7.30am here in New York City. I woke up at sort of 6.45, and I've just been watching a grab bag of moments uh from sex in the city to be honest quite a liberating experience because you don't need to suffer through anything that you're feeling is particularly painful you can just dance around it but um also still obviously not not ideal circumstance for an early morn uh but i you know i feel uh our respective uh takeaways

and experiences with the movie on this episode will be quite unique also i awoke to uh a few messages from you describing scenes as bonus content absolutely i had accidentally been watching a version that neither of us have seen before. And there isn't that much extra content. It's just two small scenes. I'm going by Memory Now Guy, which I'm famed for my good memory. Like an elephant, my memory is. So, hold on.

Before I've got them up in front of me so I can jog your memory as necessary. You, for four weeks, you purport to have watched a version of this movie that has for no apparent reason just edited out two sort of 45 second scenes well hold on as you did you these scenes that i described had you seen them every week wow so we'd actually been watching different versions of the movie and didn't even know. Is it possible that you've just missed these scenes? Fuck, man. I actually thought that when I watched them. But then there was two.

So I was like, no, this can't be it. That's possible. So the first scene that you messaged, you wrote this. You said, dude, I've just watched a different cut of the movie. I mean, I can sense the excitement at your you know discovery there's a scene with carrie trick-or-treating with rose and runkle and charlotte so what do you want to tell me about that scene runkle is dressed as uh what's his name from the adams family uncle fester l. Lester. Fester. That's right.

He's Uncle Fester. And Charlotte hasn't really gone to much effort. She's just sort of a cat. She's kind of phoning it in. She's a cow. Is she? She's in a huge cow costume. She's got a giant udder on her front.

Might have only seen that bit once, you know? But it's super recently and you were so excited i thought i thought she was a cat because she's got little pointy ears on um but yeah no i i won't it's fine i want you to dig up that uh i'm actually gonna while you describe the scene i'm gonna find that and i'm gonna send you a screenshot because the idea that that represents a cat to you is absolute fucking madness the other scene which uh um wasn't in the previous four watches that i had and guy can i also say that i watched the movie one and a half times today because i had a half-time penalty to catch up on so i i was sort of asleep you're a generous man i never caught back up.

Can you also tell me, Tim, what Rose is dressed as, if you can remember? No. No, no recollection of what Rose is dressed as. She's Cinderella. Yeah. More or less the same. She does say, she says that to Carrie. She says she's going to go as Cinderellainderella which i also think was edited out anyway the other bit that that was new this week this episode this watch was a call from uh uh

stanford that carrie receives he is the gay best friend to carrie bradshaw and he gives her a ring on new year's eve and they're both very sad. He's sitting in a packed bar, but he's kind of just by himself having a drink, being lonely. And Carrie has recently been broken up with from Monsieur Big. You've sent me the screenshot there. I have. I just cannot conceive of a world where anyone would think that this is not a cow. Even if you only saw it in your periphery

it is just so give me a fucking break would you mate what's happened is i've captured like a loose bit of imagery in my head i've seen the ears it's not like i saw that on screen and went oh look at that black and white cat i clearly knew it was a cow at the time i haven't stored that in there because there's important shit in my brain mate didn't want to gunk it up with the specific outfit that Charlotte's in no you're I don't know

it's just unfathomable I can't imagine anyone else in the world making this error it's a memory test for Christ's sake it's not important guy you're dwelling on the wrong issues here it's not a memory test for Christ's sake It's not important guy You're dwelling on the wrong issues here It's not a memory test I remember because you said she's gone to no effort

You didn't go to any effort in assessing her costume Look at the udder It's a big udder It is an udder What do you want from me guy? I see it's a cow I'm sure I saw it was a cow at the time But my memory took a little snapshot and just threw a smear.

You know what? You're right. I'm making too much out of this. And so these two scenes that you observed for the first time, reportedly this week, did they add anything? Did they take anything away? Absolutely not. And I can absolutely appreciate why the editors in my version that I've been watching the previous four weeks

decided to get rid of them. These things happen in movies them i think that you are those editors and your patchy memory is uh who you are giving big ups to right now i don't think so because the version of uh the movie that i saw this week is i think it's one that you put me on to as it were uh in the previous four weeks was one that i found by myself as it was i like the idea of me putting you onto my sex in the city guy yeah my guy's got the best stuff man pure you're in new york there's a guy for everything absolutely a guy for all seasons in all occasions uh so you've seen one and a half times worth of sex in the city tim what do you think of it uh pretty bad still well

actually i don't know it's not even it's not even that bad really i just don't enjoy it you know and there's a difference between those two things i was talking to uh to someone today actually i was i was just at a pub quiz because i'm taking over from my friend who hosts a couple of pub quizzes he's away for five weeks i'm gonna host his quizzes so i went and did the quiz by myself and uh how'd you go conversation with the do you know what not as shit as i would have thought but he did write a whole round which was tim bat or batman uh where every question was just a fact which was either about myself or batman and all the teams had to pick but i struck up a conversation with a woman and uh hey we ended up joining teams yeah nice no we she she was uh just having a drink but

she joined in on the quiz with me so i had a teammate nice and uh where was i going with this i think we know where you were going with this she i i i ended up telling her about the podcast and she was like the city's good dude nice it was a question it was either bruce wayne or i uh had created a podcast that had been downloaded millions of times and everyone had to guess if that was batman or tim bat and anyway um but she was like but sex in the city's good and i was like the show's good the movie's a hot garbage the first one's bad the second one's even worse she said yeah long way around and i think you're to blame for that guy hey dude that anecdote was nice uh never hated you more oh that's not true i'm sure that there's uh audio reference of you hating

me i remember an episode that i recorded from edinburgh and you were in auckland i think you were heartbroken on your birthday and i arrived late and in the back of my mind well i don't remember the invective directed towards me i'm fairly confident that was as much as you've hated me in either of our lives as episode 27 of season one i think yeah you remember um hey if you don't mind me i'm just going to open up a lovely a lovely uh can of laqueur liqueur i like that you panned the camera down so professionally now i've got a lovely liqueur with your hairy chest as a backdrop i'm loving every bit of it the flavor pomp la mousse what is that i think it's grapefruit

but it doesn't taste like what it says it tastes like it tastes like you know i i don't think the reference in america is powerade or no gatorade but you know when you like you have a powerade and then you use the bottle as a water bottle and you fill it up with water and then it just forever tastes slightly like what was in it before i'm pretty sure that someone put a whole fucking grapefruit in this can and then took it out and then they've just started putting water in it and that's what we're drinking but this is this is also like the eighth or ninth time it's been refilled that's what la croix is for me there was something in this eight or nine recycles ago and it was pretty flavorful do you

not think if the if the gals were still palling around today they'd have a lucrative deal with liqueur not a doubt in my mind it's exactly the brand mate i've got i've taken a few notes um which end of the pool would you like me to dive into because we've got a deep end and we've got the shallows uh why don't we start in the shallow end and we'll slowly lose our footing as we wade into the murky depths. Smith Garrett takes his breakup after five years in getting his beloved through chemo like a champ. I know we've referenced this before, but the man takes it square on the chin. Oh, I cannot believe you're telling me this. I tried to champion Smith Garrett to you, you know, and you're saying, no, you're having none of it.

You're thinking it's no good. And now you're going to come in here and suddenly share an observation and feeling that I've been trying to fucking force upon you. I can't remember the exact contours of the convo, but I don't think I would have discredited your claim that he takes the relationship breakup well. It's the fact that he's a real jerk on valentine's day itself which is the straw that breaks the camel's back between he and samantha as we all know i

don't think that's the straw that breaks the camel's back i think that relationship samantha is already emotionally checking out of that relationship valentine's day or no uh she's got a wandering eye she knows as much she can say talk about openly with her friends but it's not until they give her the encouragement to break up with him that she realizes she needs to be on her own i mean the sushi she made an effort it's that point in the relationship where you make that last gasp effort to try and win it all back you know double or nothing even if it went well from the information we're given by samantha i do not think that relationship would go the distance you could be right you could be right certainly i think it probably i think you're right though

i think it accelerated the breakup five years though guy it not nothing. And she's just like, you know what, babe? No more. And he's like, yeah. Yeah, but it's true. He's just such a chiller. He's like, yeah, it's all good. He's probably in the back of his mind like, I'm a millionaire movie star. And if he's got any emotional intelligence,

he's probably clocked that she's checking out of the relationship and has sort of probably done some emotional preparation for that for that conversation because it you're right it doesn't take him off guard at all he's sort of like ah here it comes yeah here's the conversation i knew was coming uh i wanted to mention that i'd also just like to dig into with you my friend just how much money do we think mr big has friend just how much money do we think mr big has i hadn't started thinking about this again until the scene where he buys the apartment and he just says i'll take care of it like he's as carrie rightly says like he's picking up a check at a restaurant for some multi-million dollar penthouse apartment how much fucking money does this dude have? Yeah, it's not insignificant sum.

It's got to be, like, he's got to be in the hundreds of millions if he's picking that penthouse up without batting an island, isn't it? It doesn't break a sweat. That's got to beg the question, how has he accumulated such a vast amount of wealth and at what cost because you know you can guarantee what i say a a rising tide lifts all boats uh i don't think of big as a rising tide i think of him as sort of quite an invasive boat that's coming to harbor and just sort of taking what he wants.

I want to do this in a conversation tomorrow. Introduce a metaphor and then explain why it's the wrong one. Yeah. You know, they say the kettle shouldn't call the pot black, but here's why that doesn't apply to what we're discussing right now. Yeah.

It's beautiful. I love it. It's beautiful. I love it. It's a hot new technique. That's everyone's homework, folks. If you're listening to this conversation, get out there, find the most obscure, but slightly known saying that exists

and then tell people why it doesn't apply to the conversation you've just introduced it to. Here's the other thing about Big Guy. He leaves his writing of the vows to the very last moment like it's the night before his wedding and he rings carrie saying i'm here trying to write the vows which has added more fuel on the fire for me more evidence that the man is illiterate yeah i um that's fair i don't to be to be honest uh i don't i don't know that writing your vows the night before is a bad decision i think that that's probably when you've got the

greatest amount of emotion swirling through you uh the scary part i guess is that he's he's struggling against it which would suggest that uh he's he's living in fear of the union and the scope of the event. But he is a fucking real, he's an enigma, isn't he, this guy? He's a man of mystery. Hundreds of millions of dollars, cannot read nor write. Yeah. cannot read nor write yeah uh i mean how do you how do you imagine he's made his he's amassed this this fortune uh without those sort of basic skills i think we underestimate the power of a man who has certain skills in connecting people and making calls.

I think if you, if you can get on the phone and you can get a secretary to set it up. So there's speed dials. So you don't even need to be able to read numbers. You just know that top left button is Carrie, but bottom left is Merrill Lynch and the VP who you deal with. And you just sort of have CNBC on to get a sense of how things are headed based on the talking heads,

and then just make some big calls. There's no guarantee of making money. You know, you might occasionally get lucky, but you're essentially spinning a roulette wheel. Mate, of course. This is what I'm putting his wealth down to just nailed it uh what unrelenting good luck yeah and yeah but you've got to also make your own opportunities for that luck to exist you know like not a lot of people would have the

confidence in themselves to both be illiterate but also be making tens of millions of dollars bets on the derivatives market but most people aren't mr big john preston this is a james john preston his how do you think is my name also yeah how do you think he i'm just imagining him uh waiting into meetings maybe not as the senior figure he is now but as a junior junior or certainly as someone who's working his way up the ranks. And they go, all right, everyone, we're at the AGM here. Who's read the year-long report? And everyone goes, yeah, yeah. And they go, all right, John, maybe you could start us off with your findings

from what you've read. What does he say? This is where he excels, though. This is where the man comes to eat. If he had to read a paragraph from it, that would be no good, but he's so good, I think he would just direct them and say, gentlemen, we've all got the report. We've all read the report.

It would be a waste of your time to reiterate what you already have. Here's what I think about the future direction of this company. This is how the man operates. John, I'm really going to have to ask you to just tell us what you thought about the report that we've all just read. Here's what I think about the report. I think there's good stuff in there. And like all reports, we've got to take the nuggets.

We're going to take those truths and we've got to run with them. We've got to recontextualize this this was written a long time ago this is written last week that's so that's in the markets a century you gentlemen understand what i'm saying what are the nuggets to which you're referring john synergy you know synergy yeah no there was a big chunk in there in synergy okay sorry i don't know why i was getting cool tell us your big ideas here's let me just get this book rubbed them all down but please uh jesus christ i just want to barely a book what you have there does not necessarily constitute a book john

i want to let you know that if you're saying some things that look a little freaky to you both the nature of the tome itself and also the uh drawings which are contained within i need you to understand that you know when people found da vinci's notebook they were very confused by the scrollings they were written on there as well and that motherfucker invented the helicopter so here's one idea from my book that i've captured uh based on the feeling i got from the report um guys what do we know about rats they fucking multiply like you wouldn't believe i think we need to start farming them and instead of looking at this as a huge threat it's an opportunity we've got to move in that swat analysis shift the columns we're going to start farming rats and harvesting them for their fur and meat john i'm going to stop you there because that is the most brilliant idea i have ever heard

in my life yes thank you bravo thank you so much thank you are we gonna peddle the meat and furs as rat meat and furs or are we gonna absolutely not i not. You couldn't dream of doing that. This is New York City. The people would be in conniptions over the thought of being served rat meat. So here's what we're going to tell them. It's duck. And the fur?

Also duck. Also duck. You've got it. You've got it in one. and the fur also duck also duck you've got it you've got it in one well I see no reason to be skeptical of this that's true you gentlemen and I we're on the same wavelength

we're operating at a very high frequency now let's go farm some rats I hope this meeting has given you the confidence to buy whatever you see fit to buy this is actually um part of the origin story of brady as well and while we're talking about brady can i just get into the middle bit of the pool with my shining light

him saying i've got to go to the bathroom at dinner quite early on when Steve and Magda are there as well. Very funny stuff. Because if you look at his face, it changes in an instant. And it is the look of a young boy who is either just or is just about to shit his pants. It's your classic, I need to go to the bathroom when the real sentence is, I've just gone to the bathroom. Yeah, exactly.

I needed to have gone to the bathroom would be the grammatically accurate portrayal of that story. But yeah, it cracked me up, man. It's funny stuff. Oh, that's nice. Do you want to know my shining light, seeing as we're here? Yeah. I want to give a huge shout out to art department and props uh when carrie sees the the vogue has hit the shelves and she buys it and she says uh i didn't want to buy it, but it was one less Vogue in New York. There's a cluster of leaves that blows into frame from the right-hand side

as she's marching down the sidewalk carrying her Vogue with a very determined, steely look in her eyes. And all I can see when I see that shot is just, you know, a poorly paid intern at the top of a ladder with a bucket of leaves. Maybe it was the last thing they shot on the whole film. Who's to say? But it does feel like the budget was getting pretty thin. And they were going, are you sure we don't need the leaves?

And they were going, no, no, no, don't worry, we're going to do the leaves. And they're like, well, this is our last take. So, you know, if you don't think it's going to look good, just don't do the leaves because everyone's got to wrap. We've got to get out of here. Otherwise, we're paying overtime. And Props goes, we're going to do the leaves. And, I mean, to me, it looks pretty obvious

that there's just a handful of semi-wet leaves that they've put in a bucket and tipped out. And you can imagine Mattress Pikelet King going, fuck! Well, that's a wrap uh and it's just i guess we've got leaves in the film now everyone yeah i hope you're happy rachel i really really enjoyed it While we're here, I've got two sort of almost ethical questions. Now, the first one is Carrie's on the phone to Samantha.

Carrie is a successful writer. I mean, we know this. She owns a nice apartment. She lives a certain quality of life that is far beyond the riches of most of us. You know, she's doing all right. She's on the phone with Samantha. I can't remember exactly what they're discussing. But Samantha's in LA and she's walking around a bookshop on the phone to her. And at the conclusion of the phone call,

Carrie has picked up one of her own books and swapped it out for someone else's book on like one of those display stands so you know where they're like promoting maybe a new release a new author she takes her book awesome uh what do we what do we think of that do we think that she's standing she's standing on people to maintain her reputation or we we think that that's just a good bit of fun i think it's a um it's a bit of honesty it's a bit of integrity in the film for that character because it doesn't matter how high up the chain you get who among us if you had your own product wouldn't bloody shut that to the

front of the shelves you know i reckon that's just wonderful and exactly what a writer would do it's nice. I've wavered week to week, so it's good to have your take. I think ultimately you're right. I think when I get frustrated by it, I'm not frustrated by the practice so much as the character. I'm inclined to agree.

The other question I have for you is sort of based around... Guy, be real. You'd do that. You'd swap them out. I'd check. She doesn't even look at what book she's swapping out, though. You'd do it.

She doesn't even know whose pedestal she's bumping onto, you know? Mate, you'd swap it out for the Bible. I'd swap it out for the Bible, no worries. I don't know who gets the profits from the Bible, but I think that they're doing all right. That's a good question. It must be the publishing house. Who's that?

Then why aren't we all just printing Bibles? Best-selling book on the market. Why aren't we all in there? There seems to be a lot of versions. Maybe we just get our own one and go control left, find and replace like one word. And then it's our version. It's the Guy Montgomery version of the Bible. Like the King James one.

Replace one word throughout the entire Bible. So replace God with Mr. Big. Sure. Or fucking like the to the or today or whatever you know just make one change and then it's your version of it and mr big said let there be light and there was and it was good and then you got fucking rich wow i mean certainly we might have stumbled into a pretty interesting and lucrative side business here uh well is it

time to shut down the podcast guy is this the future for us tim and guy the bible guys that name didn't i i didn't like it you're better than that no no the whole thing's gone down the fucking tubes on account of that uh the other question i have is when they're they're looking at carrie's website i think it's um who isn't it's it's her and i think saint louise who's saying it's a bloody disaster and uh carrie's got her fancy shoes i guess it's her house it's her chaise lounge but she's got him right up there and she's scuffing up the material. What are your thoughts on shoes indoors, shoes on the couch, shoes on the chaise lounge?

In this order, chaise... Fuck, let me take that again. Shoes inside, fine in all circumstances. The one where it's not is if you've got hard wooden floors, some hard shoes on, and someone's trying to sleep. What about... This is in your home right

you abide the rules set by other other people at their homes i will follow the protocol if i see some doors by the the front door you better believe i'm taking my laces off as soon as i see that even if you're wearing high tops or those hiking boots you like to wear they're a real pain to get on and off you know once you put those on for the day you'd like to think that's it yeah that's true but i'd um rather spend the 45 seconds relacing than uh perform a social faux pas so so you're right in my casa you know shoes shoes are real good the shades lounge though i'm with you mate i'm with what i think is going to be your take on this you can't you can't chuck those on the couch even if it's your own chaise

lounge it just shows that you've lost touch uh with civilized society or or you know you're devaluing something that i assume cost quite a quite a bit of tin having a chaise lounge in your establishment you're on the cusp already you're on the crest of the wave and you are you are this close to losing your grip and if you get shoes on you're gone like you are the one percent at that point and when the revolution comes the defining line is going to be between those who have a chaise lounge and those who put their own shoes on their own chaise lounge. Chaise lounge.

Fun to say. That's Bernie's revolution, mate. That's the defining red line in the sand. Own each step with Peloton. From their pop runs to walk and talks talks you define what it means to be a runner whatever your level embrace it journey starts when you say so if you've got five minutes or 50 peloton tread has workouts you can work in or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs walks and hikes led by expert instructors on the peloton app

call yourself a runner peloton all access membership separate learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running now you let me know when you're ready to get into the deep end of the pool guy i don't want you to thrust this on me i want to be trying you know is there any scarier feeling less so in a pool more so in open water you're swimming around uh you you know you you think that you're still within your comfort zone or that you can sort of you know treat the water as your own and you go to put your feet down so that you're planted and you're firm and you're solid and you reach down and what's that?

Not even your toes are touching the bottom. And then you sort of, you're scurry and you're flurry and you start kicking around. You're like, well, if that's not the bottom, where's the bottom? And what in God's green earth's underneath me? Well, it's not going to be anything from God's green earth.

It's going to be a bloody fish. God's blue earth. But that's what I want to experience. That's not God be anything from god's green earth it's gonna be a bloody fish uh god's blue earth but that's what i want it's not god's domain at that point either that and you're right to be fearful because now we're in neptune's house you know we're not we're not in god's house anymore is neptune uh ubiquitous across all religious texts so it's my understanding of the oh wow fellow i love that is he a vengeful god they all are i guess neptune strikes me as a more ambivalent character god slightly petty from what i've read in someone's version of the bible but you know people are just changing them and printing their own to make money these days so i don't know how trustworthy the text is but neptune just seems like he'll gladly wipe you

out if you're in his way or anything but he does he also won't hold a grudge yeah you know he's not that kind of guy i feel like i don't know i mean i i think it's a generous estimation to me the guy feels like he'd definitely hold a grudge neptune would roman roman gods are freaky gods man yeah they love like creating half gods half people and having sex with them and then if they if they look at them wrong over tea they're like oh well i'm you know, you're going to go and do a bunch of shitty jobs. You're going to do errands for the rest of your life. And it's not like, oh, pick up and drop off my dry cleaning. It's like, oh, the errand I'm going to give you is to,

is it someone who delegates that boulder to push up a hill every day? Like, it's barely an errand. Yeah. Who does that? It's a terrible errand. Sosophis? I don't know. Who is that? Terrible errand. Sosophis? I don't know.

Who is that? Who pushes the boulder? I'm going to look it up. You keep talking to me.

As you slowly walk me into the deep end of the pool. I was just going to say there is a

lot of weird sex stuff with those gods. And it's not just the Romans, it's the Greeks. Sisyphus? S-i-s-y-p-h-u-s he did something to anger them that got him that boulder duty though right like he did something wrong yeah he was so and then he got his insides picked out by a bird from memory it was so he he

was a king and he uh he truly believed himself to be smarter or more clever than Zeus himself. And so Zeus said, oh yeah, well if you're so smart, how about a bit of this? How about you push that fucking rock up a hill for the rest of your life? And he's like, this isn't fair. It's the dumbest activity. It's like an iq test or a game of chess i saw a funny uh funny cartoon in the in a magazine recently uh it was is it atlas whose job it is to hold up the entire world and it's him and his partner like they're i think walking home or maybe they've been to the grocery store and he's holding the entire globe on his back and then he's also got like just a bag of groceries pinched under it

and his partner's like oh don't be a fucking hero share the share the load that's nice and in a solid message for us all guy um do you remember the bit of the movie where we find out that Carrie and Mr. Big's wedding has made it to page six? With the paper? I don't think we even named that paper. Well, I took a little screenshot of this. I'm just going to do a slight readjustment so I can actually read this from the screen because the text ain't that big. so I can actually read this from the screen because the text ain't that big. So we've got on the extreme left-hand side,

bestseller bliss, the ultimate single girl Carrie Bradshaw will be married in Manolis. What does that mean? To New York financier John James Preston, come full, proving to single girls everywhere that there can be a happy

ending after 40 that's fine describing what's happening in the movie all good I'm always interested to see what they put in to fill out the rest of the paper you know it's always an interesting wrinkle when you've got to chuck a lot of tech stuff on screen

what do they mock up they've included the article just to the right in full scope full view of the camera a jfk conspiracy putting forward that lyndon baines johnson is right at the center of responsibility of a small cabal of people for the demise of JFK one of the greatest American presidents ever and it's all about a man called E. Howard it says and if I muddle this a bit it's quite hard to read E. Howard the shadowy former CIA man who organized the Watergate break-in and was once eyed in the assassination of president kennedy bizarrely says that lyndon johnson could be seen as a prime suspect in the rub out interesting word rub out only the most far out conspiracy

theorists believe in scenarios like hunt's but in a new memoir american spy my secret history in the cia watergate and beyond out in april hunt aged 88 writes quote having kennedy liquidated thus elevating himself to the presidency without having to work for it himself could have been a very tempting and logical move on johnson's part the article goes on guy but i won't bore you with the details but it is amazing to me that is the article they decided to include in this well that newspaper they had to make so i've done a quick google and uh i've stumbled into a rolling stone article entitled The Last Confession of E. Howard Hunt, published on April 5th, 2007. Yes.

Boy, I was reading about this earlier today. Take me there. Well, I mean, by all accounts, it feels like they were going for, obviously the JFK assassination isn't necessarily current affairs, but digging back into it. You know, maybe they were like, what be on it what's what is in a paper you know this week and then is this i don't know is this a little is this a hansel and gretel trail is mattress pike like king you know beyond making this like king i i think there's there's a lot of people in Hollywood they're all connected and uh you know they know things Hollywood people do they know things what do they know let's find out I think that mattress parklet king knows a lot more than he's been letting on through his career with sex

in the city about the demise of the great president Kennedy you think sex the sex in the city are these uh quite large flares or um sort of sos type messages that he has constructed uh if only there was some sort of uh analogy from greek mythology which could describe the practice of building a giant construct in which you mask your true intentions but alas i suppose that that will have to wait for another lifetime guy think of a horse and now i think of a true tim this is no time for you to distract me from my mission no you're right you're right but it is interesting so this guy is real this is a real dude um he did die and his a couple of his sons on his deathbed sorry, a couple of his sons claim that on his deathbed

he actually confessed to knowing about the plot quite intimately, but then two other of his kids and his widow, who I think wasn't their mother has come out and said that they were just some money grabbing hucksters trying to cash in on their dad's infamy that's not a bad play

from the kids it's not bad hey so this guy e howard whatever his name is he you know had his suspicions but the sons took it a lot further just to to try and sell some books yeah oh absolutely and the moon landing's false and while we're all here jet fuel can't melt steel beams look at building seven quite enough of that it's good that it's in there it's good that it's in there it is nice uh if we are if we are reading screenshots from the film this is one i picked up uh a little while ago so when you know they do the beautiful overview they say here are our characters for the story we're about to tell for you know those of us who might not have watched the series but are at the cinema and uh she describes charlotte york and uh as she describes charlotte york there's a you know because she uses her friends as fuel for her career And she describes Charlotte York. And as she describes Charlotte York,

because she uses her friends as fuel for her career, we get a brief glimpse at one of the chapters from one of Carrie's books, maybe Manhattan, maybe something else. And this is the finished article. This is the published book presented you know, presented as such. And I'll read for this from you what I can.

So it says, something at the top, you know, I can't make it out. It says, Trey McDougall was Charlotte York's dream man. Handsome, da-la-la.

Well, two out of three ain't bad. It was a perfect sunny day in June. So it's describing their wedding. I had sex with her. You're late. I've been done talking to you. It goes on and on.

It's like a paragraph. And then the last sentence of the paragraph is, hey, what are we talking about? I said, Miranda nodded. Have you got a mint? I have major coffee breath. And then beneath that, Carrie, in a classic play, actually, I don't know if this is a classic play.

Like, this is the sort of thing you'd do if you were in a first year university like if you had to submit a first year paper for philosophy and you're like fuck i haven't done the work and so you just copy and paste the exact same paragraph as the first one 10 times and you email it in as an attachment and your tutor goes oh a weird thing happened when you turned in your essay it was just the same paragraph over and over and you go oh oh oh oh that weird must have been an internet glitch do you remember that sweet period in life when you could just be like oh yeah yeah the internet must have fucked it up it's only about three years that people were remotely getting away with it but it was a golden time to be at university I would think

well this is roughly the same timeline whereby Carrie was publishing books so is it just it is a copy and pasted paragraph is what you're treated to on screen over and over and over in perpetuity just take the fucking 25 minutes

to come up with something you're a screenwriter. Or, if you don't have the time, increase the font size. No one's going to pause it and be like, what, who prints a book in 24 point? I mean, we probably will. They will pause it and have you up on the repetition. Yeah.

So I tell you what, I mean, while what we're doing is probably not of interest to anyone else, anyone certainly feels like we're making some pretty powerful inroads into this deep end of the pool. There's one last thing. Let's get out of the deep end. And let's chill out at the shallow end with a G&T in hand. Which is that we haven't mentioned yet the fact that Smith Garrett,

who is later revealed to be a mystery bidder at an auction that the gals are at where Samantha's got her heart set on this beautiful ring. And she's bidding against someone for it. She really wants it. And it turns out to be Smith has bought it for her. Fuck, man.

How much money did they waste going up against each other for her to ultimately get it anyway? Like $40,000. The bidding started at $10,000. There isn't an iota of interest from anyone else in the auction house except for that one person bidding on Smith's behalf and Samantha. How fucking rotted did they get um i agree but for you know the the good fortune of their uh financial circumstance appears to be not that they've burned an extra you know 30k on this frankly you know pretty gauch it's garish uh ring but it's that what it represents

to samantha is a lack of independence i mean how sound are they doing what does their joint bank account look like if it's not like oh my god we just spent thirty thousand dollars but it's like oh my god just let me buy my ring. Also, what really shat me about... You're not communicating well. What shat me about that is Charlotte's... Has Charlotte never been to an auction before? Her obsession with someone being on the phone. It's like, well, that's not fair.

Dude, I've never been to an auction before, but I wouldn't be shocked to see that because I've read a fucking book or seen a TV show in my damn life. It's a crazy shouted upbringing. Her obsession with order and rules just drives me up the wall. I don't know that Charlotte...

But that's what she is, guy. Yeah, I guess I don't know how she's written in the show, but as she's represented in the movies, she is one of the last people I'd like to be in a corner with at like a barbecue or a dinner party it's like you know sometimes you're you get caught talking to someone and in the back of your mind you're like oh fuck the sort of person who as soon as you start looking around at the other conversations you're like oh how has everyone else got so much to talk about i mean i am really out here right now.

I think you're being very harsh on Charlotte. I'd love to have a little convo with her at a BBQ. I think it would be delightful. What common ground do you share? Possibly none. And in there lies the fantastic and rich conversation before us, exchanging cultural identities, filling in each other's gaps you know finding out what it is like to live on the other side of that beautiful white you know i and i say

this with nothing but love and respect for you tim i don't think charlotte would give you the time of day i i genuinely don't think like i think that didn't feel loving or respectful you'd ask her a question she'd answer she'd either sense that you're not worth asking a question back to or ask you a question oh god you would say oh yeah i'm uh i'm from new zealand i live in auckland with my beautiful wife and she'd say uh oh okay that's lovely i'm just gonna um are you okay for a drink i'm just gonna go and top up my bubbles and you'd be like i am a sparkling conversationalist you know this about me i don't doubt that definitely be able to i would be able to hold court with with charlotte no last name is there's no one

i'm happier to be sided up next to at any social event but i'm telling you yeah charlotte york would not give you the time of day and the fact that you it's kind of embarrassing the fact that you desire her conversation so badly I would, well I do now because you've told me that I would be unable to obtain it you know

really shot the value up but I guess we'll never know because she's a fake character that I'm going to be watching on a small or large screen for the next fuck who knows six months of my life yeah well it's late where you are and it's early where i am i can't tell you how late it is except to say that it's 12 28 a.m and it's 8 30 a.m here what can i look forward to today tim guy montgomery the 4th of september has started off uneventful and dark possibly because it's the middle of the night i want a review of the 3rd of september it's a labor day here in america ah well here's your opportunity

to put on all those white clothes you're so crazy about wearing because you must put them back in the cupboard after today for how long i don't know all right here's my review of the third it's groovy cool lots to look forward to well have a great and restful sleep um don't take that stuff about charlotte too hard don't, mate. I know you say it with love and respect, even though it sounds like the opposite. Hey, can I just say, Tim, with nothing but love and respect... Yeah? Fuck you, my dude.

Can I just say that there is... Like, are you familiar with the concept of a Trojan horse? Because that comment wasn't anything like a Trojan horse. I'm just a fucking idiot who introduces metaphors that don't make any sense and then backpedals immediately. I've been Tim Beck. Good night, everyone. I've got no idea what a Trojan horse is.

We just have a good rhythm together, you know? He sort of feels me out, I feel him out. And we go for it.