The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Forty Eight - Matinée

Episode Date: November 21, 2018

Just what comes of two men when you sit them in front of Grown Ups 2 for the forth dozen time inside a year? Apparently, it's sour relationships, lots of singing, lots more swearing, rumination about their self-imposed prison and chats about the mighty Haast Eagle.If you weren't worried about Guy and Tim before this episode, you swear as hell will be now. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh Steve Austin You come from Boston But not really Cause you're a famous Texan. Oh, Steve Austin, you come from Boston, but not really, cause you're a famous fucking Texan. Hello. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi, everybody.

It's Tim and Guy here from the Worst Idea of All Time podcast, where we watch and review Grown Ups 2 every week for a year. We've almost done it. We're nearly there, mate. Four to go. We just did number 48. That's right. 48, a very significant number for me, Tim.

48 is the age of Adam Sandler at the time of record. 48 also represents an average of half an hour per podcast, one full day, 24 hours of discussing Grown Ups 2. That's sad. You want another stat? I did the math on this. We've been watching the movie for 3.4 days, like day and night. Full days?

Yeah. Actually, it's three and a half. Okay, whatever, man. How much does that suck? Not that much. Doesn't it? Yeah, it does. But look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look.

It was a very long watch today. It was the longest, I think. It was very long. And I felt like a lot of the actors weren't trying. Yeah, I felt that as well. I felt like, lot of the actors weren't trying. Yeah, I felt that as well. I felt like, to use an analogy, I haven't watched a Broadway show 48 times in a row. But I feel like if you did watch it, no, because they do.

So it felt like the 48th night for this show on Broadway and all the actors, maybe they had a big party last night. It was maybe their favorite cast member's birthday. And they just showed up on the stage and were just like, well, we might as well just get through this so we can go and sleep off this raging hangover i have from that dope party we had on a rooftop in soho last night yeah it was like watching a matinee today it was like a yeah the matinee after a birthday party it's a weird vibe it was it was low energy and no one was really bringing the noise but then in turn tim

i considered this notion while watching is you can flip that on its head and say that the actor's performance or the way we read it is a direct mirror of how we're doing. Well, that makes sense because obviously they're not performing for us inside the television.

No, yeah. So either the movie is or is becoming a mirror. And I don't think the filmmakers created Grown Ups 2. I don't think it was intended as a barometer for how the audience is feeling.

It's funny how it all works though, isn't it? So we've really pushed through a barrier there. Did Marie Carey know when she was inventing microwaves and whatnot? Probably not.

I don't know a lot about the origins of the microwave. Me neither. Pretty impressive though. People always say, when are we going to have robots do everything for us? You know, like Betty on the Jetsons. You look at a microwave, a dishwasher, an oven, a fridge. Yeah. We got them.

I think what people are waiting for because of sci-fi and TV is it all to be rolled into one all-purpose robot. You're right about that. But then that's when the robots are becoming probably we're leaning on them too much and we'll forget the basic skills which enable us to get through a day. And then if technology was to fold in on itself and collapse, enable us to get through a day and then if technology was to fold in on itself and collapse,

none of us would have the basic life skills to survive. You ever see WALL-E, the Pixar movie? No. It's real. I've got a real ink... I'll tell you what, I could watch the shit out of that movie right now. WALL-E is so fucking good.

It's such a good movie. There's barely any dialogue in the first half. I don't think Pixar's taken a bad movie there's been any dialogue in the first half i don't think pixar's taken a bad step yet cars too yeah that is the main blight i haven't seen cars too i liked cars though uh i love that owen wilson and wally so happy go lucky and wally that's very much how the humans are because it's set in the future and the humans are terrible they're all just like soft sloth and lay pieces of shit floating around on these little hovercraft things and they're unable to do

anything for themselves it's quite awesome but also super bleak so yeah so stop leaning on bloody the people who design kitchens to design an all-purpose kitchen robot exactly betty's not going to exist and if she does then that's a sign we've gone too far, people. We're in the golden age of robots. So just enjoy it. What you don't want is sentient robots. This is like, you know how when the global financial crisis hit and everyone said, oh, the economy shat itself. We had so many years of good growth.

Everyone was like, I don't remember it being that good. We're in the good times. And you don't realize it because you're always looking ahead. Why does it always seem to go that you don't know what you got to? It's gone. And pay your paradise and put up a parking lot. Who sings the original? I can only remember the Counting Crows version of Vanessa Carlton.

Not Tracy Chapman. Yeah. No, it's not. Oh. You sure? Yeah, I'm sure it's not. Today. You sure? Yeah, I'm sure it's not. Today. You ready?

Okay, let's go. The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer. Everybody run! Ends here. This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands. Now playing. So, Grown Ups 2.

How about that? How about that movie that we saw again? You know what? I opened up my notebook today to take some notes because we don't have any beers. Hey, good on ya. And I thought something better happened today. And I actually turned into the page

where it's got the notes from the first watch, just coincidentally. Do you want me to revisit that just anything that you deem interesting i've just what i've just um obviously jotted down what happens in the movie it's like a chronology and the first thing is uh adam sandler comma a moose comma selma hayek space kevin james and his stupid kids chris rock comma poopy dance uh david spade and mystery son soft toy dismemberment three-point system smile compliment date quote mark say it's true even if it isn't that's amazing that i picked up that john lovitz quote even on the first watch that was

something great it's not that amazing and then you're just what you're doing this is you're just this is like anyone who goes to a movie and writes down what happens and tells other people is if it's interesting it's not amazing that you remembered a quote the first time you watched the movie uh not really i've got i've got a heading here that says to address an ep turn i don't think we ever addressed those uh what was the movie Guy saw that he hated and wrote a review of online? I remember this.

That you walked out of? No, I didn't walk out of it. I saw the whole thing. I love you, Beth Cooper. Oh, you do remember. I don't think we ever addressed that. No, that's crazy. Wow, we're really tightening up all the loose ends

as we get to the finish line. Yeah, with Hayden Panettiere and some other guy. Who I think's gone on to be a reasonable sketch actor or comedy actor. That was off the back of her Heroes fame, eh? I remember. She was the cheerleader. I remember the movie was based on a book by one of the Simpsons writers. And I thought it was poorly executed at the time.

Although, I tell you what. I mean, I've said it before. My perspective on films is all askew now. So I would fucking happily sit down to a helping of I Love You, Beth Cooper right now. I got so pissed off because I watched Superbad the other night and I fucking love that movie. Yeah, it's funny. But even like something's changed about watching that now as a result of the repeated grown-ups too watching. What's changed?

I don't know. I'm kind of like I'm looking for all the shit in the background and stuff. It started to bleed over into other movies. That's not good. Nah, man, it's really not. It's like ruining shit that I actually really love now, which is uncool. To be expected, though, surely. Do you know what I noticed this watch, though?

Did you notice that there are 71 13-inch seats on a standard school bus? I didn't notice that. How does 71 work? Oh, I guess the bench at the back is like five how does that go three three i don't know 71 seems like a lot that seems like a shitload how many people do you get on each one of those yellow school buses though what i i when i was in toronto i took a lot of photos of their school buses because they're the yellow school buses that you see when you watch tv and movies as a child in new zealand over here we've got like red buses

and blue buses but they're all just a boring regular bus shape there's no panache yeah conversely i imagine if an american came over here they might take photographs of our school buses because they're like whoa look at these funny little buses gosh this country's backwards they'd think we're so quaint what did you notice in the movie this week, Tim? Stone Cold Steve Austin's performance because he doesn't blink almost ever in the movie. And the first scene that he's in the entire time, he blinks precisely once, as far as I could tell.

One time. That's commitment, bro. And it reminded me of, I was reading something recently that Haley Joel Os uh went to steven spielberg when he was an ai and he said steven do you know what i reckon about robots i reckon they don't blink and apparently you do not see hayley joel osmond blink once in that movie and he was like a tiny child when he did that and he came to the director with that offer

was that a reveal what do you like well was that is it known that hayley jonesman is a robot in that whole film oh yeah i think yeah i'm pretty sure it's like the whole i haven't seen ai which is crazy because i i love robots but this is a robot robot heavy episode yeah man robots i one of my old flatmates a guy called matt frost um looked looks like hayley jonesment all grown up. I thought you were going to say looks like a robot. No, and we used to go to sort of bars with him and stuff. And we'd get him to walk up to the front of the line.

And one of us would go up with him and say, Hey, I'm here with Hayley Joel Osment. He's just visiting the country on a film shoot. And we'd get into bars. That's so funny because Hayley Joel Osment growing up looks like, and this is rough because he's so funny because Hayley Joel Osmond growing up looks like, and this is rough because he's super funny and talented,

but like a big baby. Like a really, like one of those adult growing up babies. This guy, Matt Frost, he's got a bit of a baby face. Have you seen him in Always Sunny

where he like plays Mac for the episode? Fuck, it's funny. Good God. It's good stuff. Oh yeah, I wanted to, Principal Tardio,

he's writing a letter on his screen um during the last day of school and i really want to know what it is and i don't think the resolution's high enough for me to like zoom in in the background and figure it out but you can definitely tell by the way that the text is laid out that it's a letter and i wondered if it's a letter of resignation to the superintendent of the district do Do you think that's something that they thought of in growing up too? Because I do feel like the people who, and we've said it before,

the set dressers in the props department really put a lot of effort into it. So I feel like maybe they were sneaking in things like that because it's not like, Arrested Development is a good example of all of the newspaper articles and stuff that you see in passing and everything that is just loaded.

Mitch Hurwitz just packed that thing full of gags. It would be nice if they had... I mean, I guess we would know by now. Yeah, there's the blue footprints, bro. Yeah. Principal Tardio's blue footprints from walking out of his car which is filled with blue paint. Actually, do you know, Tim, what really gives me a kick

is when you lay into some expert level grown-ups too shit like that and you're like, yeah, bro, we got our Easter eggs, the blue footprints. And then, do you know what we do for free out of respect for you, the listener, is we share these hidden gems. So when you're at a cocktail party, you can pass yourself off as a preeminent Grown Ups 2 expert, which, while not a particularly lucrative industry right now, surely there's going to be a market for it at some point in the future.

Yeah, hey, Richard, what a delicious Tom Collins. By the way, did you realize that when Bean is reading the menu to the ice cream parlor, he's holding it upside down? Bet you didn't. You only cracked that on, like, the fifth watch. We had a fan reach out to us about that, like it was an Easter egg. It's not an Easter egg. It's not an Easter egg.

It's a big gag. Yeah, like good on you for getting in touch, but it's very signposted. Also, an exciting news. We've had a wonderful designer has somehow found the drinking rules, written them into this beautiful piece of text. I'm just going to source her name for you.

It's one of those like really cool typography posters where it all looks she's she's based out of uh brooklyn new york city where they paint murals of biggie i don't understand how she got the i don't understand how anyone got the rules out of that episode though i don't remember the episode and i'm not sure i've listened to it since we recorded pauline vasiliadis pa Pauline Veseliadis. We'll share it on the Facebook page. It's really lovely. It's cool.

So for those of you who have been hanging out to play the drinking game, it's going to happen soon. Oh, you should do it. Maybe, I don't know, if this is cool with you. What's your name again? Pauline. Pauline. Put it on your wall. Pauline. Pauline. Pauline. Put it on your wall. Pauline.

Pauline. Pauline. I'm begging you, please don't take my man. Miley Cyrus does a really good, like before she, have you seen that? The JoLynn, she does. She has a really good cover of JoLynn. It's probably the best thing she's ever recorded that I've heard. And I've heard it all.

Right up there with Party in the USA. Yeah, man. probably the best thing she's ever recorded that i've heard and i've heard it all right up there with party in the usa yeah man patty do you think when patty and miley are having coitus yeah well namely do you reckon they're doing it right now and secondly do you think he goes patty in the usa and she's got like a usa tattoo on her i'd be terrified to have sex with miley cyrus you're gonna say patrick schwarzenegger well kind of either but i just think it'd be terrified to have sex with Miley Cyrus. You're going to say Patrick Schwartz in that case. Well, kind of either. But I just think it'd be a really scary proposition. Yeah, I'd be intimidated. I'd be very intimidated. Because her public persona now is so out there.

So sexually charged. Yeah. I feel like she'd... I'd actually really respect... She'd rip your genitals out. I'd respect what Miley's done with her. Fuck, man. We are really dancing around grown-ups too this week.

Tim, you said a very poignant thing in the movie when I was talking about how the movie's a reflection of us, which was we're looking in the abyss. And the abyss is looking back into us. Yeah. Yeah, dude. I just don't give a flying fucking cunt of a shit anymore i if it was up to me i tell you what i wouldn't have watched it this many times and do you want to see the puddle of

goo that my brain has turned into while watching this movie is one of the observations i wrote down in my notebook yeah is americans are good at basketball. That was the entire thought. Jesus, mate. And like obviously, they're the home of the NBA. They're the Olympic and World Champs. It's one of the national sports, mate.

Yeah. I thought it was baseball. I love it how, one thing that's always sort of, I don't know if it irks me, but I've found curious about Americans is like you win the Super Bowl. Yeah. And you're the World Champs. Yeah. And like i'm not saying that those football teams aren't the best football

teams in the world but it's like it's fucking horse shit for you guys to call it the world champs when it's only competed for in america it's the same with baseball they call it they call it the world series they're the only country that fucking head out of your asshole and like call it the American champs. I don't know. Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. We've brought this,

I've brought this up in a previous episode but there's also the whole rugby thing. How they're the world champs of rugby because they competed in one Olympics games and won it

when rugby was in the Olympic games in like the 20s. Are they the defending Olympic champions of rugby? Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty cool but like full credit

there are other countries there. Yeah. Anyway, I noticed that they're good at basketball. Do you know what I noticed? Because there's a few in the background of shot. There's quite a few people like in the gym. They're shooting some hoops down the ice cream parlor. There's a little game of half court going on in the background.

Not a lot of missed baskets. Yeah, but it is a movie. Yeah, but like, think about it. They don't care whether or not the shot in the in the background of shot they don't care about whether or not the basket is made or not so they're just going to use the footage in which the actors gave the best performance don't take this the wrong way but i don't fucking care about what you're talking about right now i'll finish the point okay which is just that so statistically speaking like for i guess maybe they missed all the other shots and all the other takes but i think that's really unlikely i think you got

to give it up for the extras who are playing basketball on this movie all right good on you well done hey cool bro hey yeah it's really fun doing this podcast with you bro hey i'm having a really fucking good time spending like literally not even just to record the podcast now but trying to organize this trip i had a really good time spending like three hours of every fucking day of my life with you all built around grown-ups too bro live it up bro there's a lot of people who wish they could spend three hours a day with me every day i honestly couldn't name one yeah you yeah look i'm sorry let's not turn on each other it's gonna be a it's gonna be a long four weeks if we do what happens if we have a falling out nothing good eh nothing good at all and like the one thing that's keeping us together

as grown-ups too it's like a terrible marriage and grown-ups we're doing it for the kid but that's yeah i mean because that's then we've crossed over into something completely different we're in the the podcast the movie has gone from like sort of a thing that we we uh dislike i guess you could say together or to the one thing the one thread of friendship that still unites us and then maybe from there we can build through the falling out

I think what we need to do is put this little baby to rest or get couples counselling it would be pretty funny if we went to couples counselling so how long have you been together? 48 weeks. Tim hardly looks at me during.

So, you had a point before. What I was going to say, Guy, is that I couldn't help but notice in the film this week, just to bring us back on track a little bit as to why we're here that kevin james his car is the smokiest car i've ever seen in a movie his wife's his wife's car yeah he drives a truck but when he's on the way to the car wash you mean yeah it's just like and it's not a cold day it's definitely not steam or whatever it's fucking. The dude's a fucking auto mechanic. Like, the fuck, man? There's something wrong with the car.

Have a look at it. Big time. It's your wife's car. Yeah. Your kids are around it. They're breathing in the fumes. The fucking exhaust coming out of that thing. It's bad for the town.

It's bad for the environment. And what he doesn't appreciate over there in standing Connecticut is all of these greenhouse gases he's pumping into the atmosphere. That's just widening the hole in the ozone layer of a little old new zealand when i go outside i have to slap on spf 50 fucking eight o'clock in the morning you piece of shit that's what people don't realize man that hole in the ozone layer is directly above new zealand whoops i told some canadians about it and they like when I was at some sushi restaurant in Montreal I don't know how

I was eating with these people they were I think they were rich and I go I was telling them about the hole in the ozone layer and they were like how many people

live in New Zealand I was like about 4 million they go 4 million we can just put you all in Alberta I don't want to move

to Alberta I want to stay here you guys are a real problem solver we've got like cool shellfish like mussels

I bet you don't have that in Alberta it's too cold for them we are I don't think you're ever further than like four hours from the beach in New Zealand

that's what I love about this country you always buy our beach you know something comforting about that I love

I think it's in um stepbrothers when will ferrell's wearing a t-shirt which says life's a beach that's classic is there a second bit to that it's not like in joe dirt where he says like life's a garden dig it no it's just life's a beach and maybe there's a picture of a beach on the t-shirt i feel like it's like a reddish pinkish kind of t-shirt and it's maybe yellow the print is in yellow that's how if i was yeah if i was to wear it those that's the color scheme i think i'd go for okay all right mate i don't even look that good in red uh another thing i noticed about the movie oh we've got to do like a shining light at some point. I ain't got nothing for that. Worse than that, bro. I've got a shining light,

aka the only remaining note in my book. Well, I'm going to transform. Got to go on a tour. We've got to throw a party. I feel like we've bitten off more than we can chew as hosts. I'm out of steam. I'm out of energy. I'm out of gas.

What were you going to say? Go on. Okay, my shining light. I've reappropriated it, is the fact that Chris Rock, so Kevin James is obviously just chucking pollution into the atmosphere, doesn't give a shit. Chris Rock's on board. That dude at dinnertime in his own family house

is drinking out of a plastic disposable cup. How fucking lazy are you, bro, that you're not washing glasses? That is pretty bad. He's probably got a dishwasher. Like, fuck. Yeah. It's intense. Come on.

It's weird for that to be the shining light and that it doesn't feel like a moment that you enjoyed. I enjoyed it this week because I hadn't, I think I noticed it, but hadn't consciously spent any time thinking about it. Okay, here's a funny thing that you were saying also while watching the movie, is that if you were to notice a boom in shot at this point in the project,

that your world would come crumbling down. Absolutely. Can you extrapolate on that for us, please? Well, I've been looking for so long now for either to see a lighting guy or a boom to just be hanging from the top of shot, but it's not there, man. I've looked. It's nowhere to be seen there are like a few little

glitches with the film we've talked about a lot of them over the course of the podcast little continuity errors and things but there's no um big you don't see any crew in shot you don't see any like lighting rig and you don't see a boom. But if I saw this watch of it, it would just fucking blow my mind. Because it would be like it just got put in for me this week, which doesn't make any sense. Sort of undo your previous 47 watches. I legitimately feel like I've gone insane, and not in a fun way, but in a depressing way.

I feel like I've gone insane and not in a fun way but in a depressing way i feel like i've gone bonkers i don't know anything anymore and four more watches just seems brutal four four is that right it's a small number four what's a bigger number, Tim? If I put these two numbers on scales, if I put 48 on one scale and four on the other, which scale, and so it's 48 helpings of grown-ups too or four helpings of grown-ups too, which scale would you choose? But I've already eaten the 48,

so I'm like, I'm sick with grown-ups too. It's infected my veins. I've got like diabetes type grown-ups too it's infected my veins it's i've got like diabetes type grown-ups too and and now you're saying i know you've had a lot i know you've had four dozen helpings but bro all you need is a third dozen more help yeah i i guess the the the tragic thing about the the situation you find yourself in is that the antidote for all of this grown-ups too you've consumed is ironically just a little just a little bit more grown-ups too that nothing works like that there's like homeopathy logic that works like this podcast like this podcast

works like that if a snake bites you the cure is not more venom. You know? I'm up to the fucking eyeballs in grown-ups too. And I can't take it anymore. And I just want to squeeze a little bit more into you. The other thing is that the joy in this project now is not, obviously it never was in watching the movie, but it's in watching you be miserable. Cheers, bro. Well, I'm as uncomfortable with that thought as you are,

but the only thing which I really get out of the project at this point is watching you in visible discomfort. You are the definition of schadenfreude. What's schadenfreude mean? It's like German for sour grapes, taking pleasure in other people's misery. But it's quite a specific kind of schadenfreude. Like, I didn't know I had this.

You've discovered a darkness in you you didn't know that you possessed? My shining light... It's kind of like in Lord of the Rings, the one ring. One ring to rule them all. You're wielding a lot of power and you're discovering little evil parts of yourself. Do you think this project is deriving me as a person? I think it's making you a worse person. Do you think specifically within the world of the podcast or do you think in my general life?

Oh, no. You as a person. You as a complete person are worse. The whole package. Yeah. Not just Guy Montgomery from The Worst Hair of all time but guy montgomery from charlotte alexander halifax montgomery born in christchurch in 1987 born in wellington in 1988 do you even know me bro can't nah you've lost credibility took a few stabs didn't pay my shining light is uh in the supermarket in the the shot, there is a milk carton with the word Chug on it,

which means that there's a brand of milk either in the standard Connecticut or in all of America called Chug. That is a fucking dope name for a milk company. It's also kind of paradoxical because Chug is one of the last things i think of when i think of milk we saw a dude chugging milk last night it wasn't pleasant we saw the aftermath of it went to a comedy gig hey it was iced tea oh was it he chugged a lot of iced tea i thought it was

we should have chugged we went to a comedy gig and the guy's act was um basically he laid down a lot of newspaper in a bowl in the center and uh prior to the show starting he had drunk like two liters of what i thought was milk evidently iced tea and was just going to vomit in a bucket no but he did a few one-liners first and then he said sorry i'm not feeling very well i ate some pink today, and I just drank two liters of iced tea. Green tea. And he started trying to vomit. Yeah. And then he couldn't.

And then he said, this will make it better, and put on Come On Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners and proceeded to spend about a minute with his hand down his mouth. Yeah. And he vomited a little bit into the bowl and then he drank it again. But... And when he drank it... Shout out to David.

When he drank it... Shout out to David Kourios. When he drank it, he put on Happy by Pharrell. He thought he was going to vomit a lot more than he did. Anyway, that's neither here nor there. That was my shining light. Chug. Chug.

I'm not going to sing the song today, guy. I don't have it in me. Which song? Either. Either. Can you... P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P- He doesn't want to party so hard. No, I'm just trying to qualify the low energy. I think where we're at is more of a lithium kind of a vibe. What does lithium do?

You have it when you're like really in a very bad way with depression. And I think it kind of just numbs you. On the periodic table? Yeah, it's an element. Yep. Buzzy. Lithium. It's also a...

No, that's glycerine Oh yeah that's true I was thinking of the Bush song Yeah but there is a song by Don't let the days go by Did you hear Homer Simpson's cover Of that song

Glycerine Margarine That's so good But what I was thinking of Was the Nirvana song But again That's neither here nor there What is here or there

Is Padi Oh okay But again, that's neither here nor there. What is here or there is... Padish... Padish Wars! Party time! It's Padish Wars party time! It's party time with Padish Wars! He's riding around the house on his favourite little cat. No, it's a kitten!

His name is Michael! Patrick, get off the kitten! It's not strong enough for a human being. I didn't even enjoy that. I didn't know you had it in you, though. I'm proud of you. Do you have one? If you're listening,

Paddy, fucking shout us a slice of blaze pizza, bro. Today. You ready? Okay, let's go. The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer. Everybody run! Ends here.

This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands, now playing. Patty, what would be great when we come to LA? And I want to take this moment to say, holy fuck my ass, thank you so much if you have given us any money in the Indiegogo. Even if you haven't, thank you. But especially if you have.

Especially if you have, but it has been probably one of the most overwhelming experiences of my life to see us launch a silly little Indiegogo. And just the outreach of... The enthusiasm. The enthusiasm and the consumption of it. I don't know how I'm even talking. It's just been insane.

People have approached it with a lot of gusto they've just been throwing money at us hand over fist and it's just lovely it's really lovely it's fucking awesome we're gonna make a little thank you video of us just saying thanks

barrelling the camera I don't know if it can be today so you can feel it, So you can feel the things. I feel blue. That's okay. I feel blue, bro. That's okay. Be happy.

People have now officially paid... I mean, by proxy, I guess. They've paid for you to feel blue. I can take no joy in that right now.

My Patty Schwartz party time from the movie actually is in one of the bits. The party scene with all the frat boys I can take no joy in that right now. My Paddy Schwartz party time from the movie, actually, is in one of the bits, the party scene with all the frat boys, he's standing next to Jared Sandler, nephew of Adam. And they both don't look 100% confident

in their choices as actors. And I thought, hashtag nepotism, how are ya? What? What do you mean? I was like, well, you know. They're're both kind of acting they're both in the movie as a result of who they're related to is that what you're getting it yeah okay cool all right it's an interesting one for a party time it's a little bleak but then again i had a pretty fucked up one from a shining light it's old school bro yeah it's a throwback

if jfk was president now he would not be like revered like he was what's your point sir jfk key jfk was just he was like he played the president card pretty hard with his life you know uh yeah yeah yeah he was getting out there shaking hands certainly was um kissing babies kissing babies kissing babes kissing babes that's what i'm saying and what i'm saying is that it's old school in the same way you know just getting you getting patty and jared in the film it's old school it's just like look you know I know this isn't going to be completely popular, but we're doing it old school. Righto. I really feel like we're fucking meandering down a track to nowhere.

Then let us jump on a bus that'll take us far away to a resting place. You're being a lazy lover this week too. Roll up! It's an inspiration. Roll up for the mystery tour and roll up! Roll up for the mystery tour and

the Steve Bootsy mystery tour is coming to take me away. Coming to take me away. Coming to take me away. Take me to jail. That was a weird one. Steve Boo, same as in the fucking movie. He's pretty fucking injured.

His arms are in the touchdown position. Yeah, you've heard this. What happened to him is this. What happened to him is this. What happened to him is this. Tell me. Are you familiar with the half eagle? Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick. The one that makes me scream, she said.

The one that makes me laugh, she said. Throw her arms around my head. Show me how you do it. And I promise you, I promise that I'll run away with you. Do you like the cure? No, I don't actually. Did you like it then? Yeah, I did then.

I like your version of it. I do know what the Haas seagull is. It's probably the greatest bird of all time. It's tragically extinct because when the M maori ate all of the moa which was a big land mammal a land-based bird can a bird be a mammal uh do you know that we're all ungulates anyway so the harsh seagull was made extinct because humans ate all of its food and the moa was the only thing big enough to sustain it as a food source because the haste eagle was so fucking massive.

A moa, for reference, is like... I don't know if it's twice the size of an ostrich. They grew to something like three meters tall when they were adults. Moa's a big bird. Big old bird. Couldn't fly. A haste eagle... Ate that.

Ate that. That's how big this bird is. So apparently the haste eagle, if it was around today, would be a genuine threat to humans. It would pick up kids, right? That's how intense that bird is. And it's endemic, or it was endemic to New Zealand. You can only get it here, as far as we know.

Anywho, my point being, in the first movie, there's a Haast eagle. Okay. Steve Buscemi has twins in the first movie. Twin babies. Twin baby boys. And they're newborns. And he's so delighted when they're first born that he runs outside of the delivery room with them,

like Rafiki in Lion King, and holds them up in the air, one in each arm. Just delighted. Ready to show the world his beautiful new baby boys. With Sherry Terry Correct. No, his first wife. Different wife. Yep, different wife and a

horse eagle comes and in each talon, clutches one of the babies, grabs them out of Steve Buscemi's arms, flies away never to be seen again. Steve Buscemi is so psychologically scarred by this event that he can't move his arms out of that position. So whilst a lot of people think it was a physical injury that put him in that locked position, it's actually psychological torment

of seeing his first and only newborn children taken away from him by a harsh eagle. And it caused such a horrific sort of a post-traumatic stress sort of effect. Muscle tissue presumably holding your arms up like that as well. It actually affected his nervous system, which meant he only had 40% feeling in his body for a long time wow dude that was that was a good one thank you now it's time for us to leave guy back into the world sons grown-ups too for seven days oh man and uh i feel like we're getting off a boat that we've been on for forever yeah

um look shit bro what how good is it gonna feel when you say that and it's like and never again boat that we've been on forever. Yeah. Shit, bro. How good is it going to feel when you say that? And it's like, and never again. Yeah, in one month. If you're in LA or can get to LA, we'd so love to see you. We've got two events. The first one is at Cinefamily,

and that's on the 17th of Feb, which will be our one-year anniversary. You can buy tickets on that. The second one is at UCB Sunset. It's the new UCB venue. I think it's in West Hollywood and that's going to be at 8pm. Yeah, it's on the 18th.

It's on the 18th. It's the night afterwards and that's going to be... Should we announce it now? A very special one-off event? Yes, absolutely. Let us. We are going to be having...

We're going to watch Grown Ups. We haven't actually... We're not doing it at the venue. The first one we're talking about. We're going to watch Grown Ups we haven't actually we're not doing it at the venue the first one we're going to watch Grown Ups 1 finally

I'm so fucking excited about it what we could do is try and organise maybe somewhere a public space or somewhere we can all watch it together

like a bar a sports bar a bar or even a house if someone had a house they wanted to share with us and fans we're going to watch that

then we're going to go to UCB Sunset and we're going to record a special edition of the podcast. We're going to watch that. Then we're going to go to UCB Sunset and we're going to record a special edition of the podcast. It's probably going to be really upbeat. Yeah. So that's on the 18th at UCB Sunset. And once again, thank you so much

for all of your ludicrously generous donations to the two people who gave $400 US. Thank you. You will get your handwritten copy of Grown Ups 2 from memory as written by myself and Tim. Thank you and also fuck you. Both of those. If you want to donate, head along to Indiegogo,

worst city of all time. Yeah. I'll chuck it up on the Facebook. I'll put it to the top. You'll see it. Just fucking get out there. Get on the Google. You know how it works.

And fucking just go about your lives, people. You know, like, just go and live every moment. Yeah, what I like to do, you know, on the occasion is I go out there and I just love every day. Because my dad said one time to me, he said. What did he say? He said, before you know it, Tim, your precious time slips away. My dad used to say exactly the same thing to me. Good on you, Dad.

And all dads. See you guys. Feel that moment. Love every day. Cause before you know it, your precious time slips away. Feel that moment. Today. You ready? Okay, let's go.

The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer Everybody run! ends here. This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands, now playing.