The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Forty Four - Yabbering

Episode Date: January 2, 2016

Tim's in Wellington, Guy's in Christchurch. But one thing won't change: These boys are spending the morning with MPK and four lovely ladies travelling to Abu Dhabi. The mood is low but shining lights still find a way to punch through. The movie's structure is discussed at a length it doesn't deserve and Brady's out to play.Shout out to Joshua Peters who provided a brand new outro on this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Peloton all-access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running. It's the worst idea of all time It's the worst idea of all time It's the worst idea of all time Season 2 Hello and welcome to the worst idea of all time, episode number 44. Guy, hello. Hello to you Tim, and happy Boxing Day.

Happy Boxing Day also to you and yours. Oh, Jesus Christ. Apologies for the sound quality on this episode. It might be quite dicey because we are coming to you live on location. I'm in the nation's capital, Wellington. I am in Christchurch taking a morning off bargain hunting at the local mall so that I may discuss the cinematic offering, the latest cinematic offering,

from what I understand, from Michael Patrick King and his band of merry ladies, Sex and the City 2. We got up bright and early for this one. 7.45am kickoff. Don't know why. It's hard to find the time in the holidays, isn't it? Yeah, it is.

The thing is, you've got to pick a three-hour and then some block to fit this in. And around the Christmas period, it's never a fun time. No. It's something very great. I'll paint you a little picture of my morning, actually. So my parents at the moment, they've sold their place so they're living in a city service department-style scenario, which is lovely and very central but very small.

So I'm kind of sleeping on a couch here and got up bright and early just to crack into Sex and the City 2 and it was filled with a lot of the City 2. And there was just... I was filled with a lot of sadness through this watch. It was not good. Yeah, I got up at 7.30 to give myself 15 minutes to fix some toast and a cup of joe. And this is the first...

Not the first time, but there's... Mum and Dad have got some weird new media system installed and i actually got to watch it on netflix on a big tv it's the closest i've i've come apart from i think we watched on a projector to seeing it in cinema it was quite a um it was good for the audio it's picking up all sorts of audio trees yeah i'm actually i had good i had a good audio run today as well because i was listening in headphones. Yeah. It's right in there.

I've got the Netflix sort of still for the option to watch the movie. It's got one and a half stars out of five, a generous one and a half. The blurb, gal pals Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda embark on a much-needed vacation to exotic Abu Dhabi. What do you think of that as a byline for the film um it's i'd say it's accurate yeah i think the gal pals they go to abu dhabi it all checks out one and a half stars is it yeah is it much needed how do you mean do you mean there needs to be more intel there or no i mean mean the holidays. It's described here as much needed. Oh, I beg your pardon. Yeah, well, that's how they present it in the film.

It's so funny. I was Googling around just before kickoff about Sex and the City stuff, and apparently Michael Patrick King decided to set this in Abu Dhabi because when he was doing all the promotion and junkets and shit to promote the first movie, he became really fascinated by these foreign lands that he was travelling to. And so he decided on shooting it and setting it in Abu Dhabi based on doing press junkets for the first movie.

And then eventually, as we know, Abu Dhabi got wind of just how hedonistic and sexualized this franchise is and banned them from filming it there, so they had to shift production to Morocco. But I've got this theory on this watch that the ending where the hotel flips out and starts charging them because they're on a free trip. But everything's just mirroring precisely what Michael Patrick King went through.

It's so thinly veiled. The whole reason they're in Abu Dhabi is a press junket, right? Yeah. It's to get Samantha over there so she can do some PR, which is, it's just like, Michael Patrick King basically has gotten his journal and inserted the girls into it, and then they get burned by the hotel,

just like he gets burned by Abu Dhabi. I don't think that was the original ending on this. And so I think as a result, like, there's an extra 30 minutes of this movie that wasn't in the first cut. So you, I see. So I'm a bit, I'm not as coherent as normal. I apologize for that guy,

but I just, I've been trapped in a cocoon of solitude and loneliness for the last three hours. That's all right. Well, to communicate with you after the watch, I actually went on Facebook to get in touch and I see that you've, I haven't read them yet. I've just opened it now. So the last thing I sent to you at 7.42am was I'm going in and then I'll read now

for you and the listener the list of messages. I'll join you in two minutes, best of luck out there Mate, this is fucked They only just got on the plane, I'm filled with sadness Guy, acknowledge me, i can see that you can see these messages i hadn't seen them nobody gives a shit about your date confection carry i'm just shouting it to avoid here guy hey you know how counterfeit should just counterfeit yeah that's the case here too have a lovely market who was the practice match again said the aussie team

practiced to kicking around some fiber side was another foreign to involve in the idiotic friendly i want to know you're a real piece of shit montgomery uh sort of one of tim batts catchphrases if you will i actually did have um uh my i'll go straight into it do you know my shining light this morning tim i'd love to yeah i like that you're barely acknowledging those messages with any emotional response it's just like they exist here they are yeah well that's i mean you know it's it's par for the course really uh that australian rugby team when they get to the pool after the practice match and this comes down to the audio experience i had today i could hear the general yabbering the sort of like they just obviously got 10 people to go into a room and record what they think australian people sound

like and if you listen to the audio it's like oh yeah yeah oh yeah bloody oh yeah bloody sports living in the city it's just it's just nonsense uh but they i love that it's so regionalized it's like i've read that in old hollywood they used to get the crowds to say the word wallah that's how they did like blah blah blah and they get a room full of people to go wallah wallah wallah wallah to get to, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, walla, wall sound the background sound of aussies uh yeah the accuracy of the australian just the genuine general australian atmos the atmos of australian chats are beautifully done beautifully inserted i mean the whole that whole rugby subplot just gives me the shits every time and it's like i don't know it's partly it's mostly for Samantha's storyline. You know when Samantha's like, did they bring their balls? Yeah.

I always want the hotel manager to say, no, they somehow forgot the balls. It's causing huge problems here at the hotel. The whole tournament's been postponed. I mean, we're up shit creek, Samantha. And the last fucking thing I need to deal with right now is you and your innuendo. You're not even paying to be here, Samantha. Leave your shitty jokes at the door. Just be grateful and eat some humble pie, for Christ's sake.

Can you imagine? Don't get in there cracking jokes. If you're paying what it's worth, the $22,000 a night, then you get to crack jokes. Not if you're there on a fucking freebie. Can you imagine organising, somehow, Abu Dhabhabi pitching and winning a trial world cup tournament a first of its kind in abu dhabi and then all the teams arrive except for the all blacks because they're not falling for that shit all the teams arrive and they're like all right we're ready where are the balls and the hotel manager i mean the panic that must have just coursed through his body as he's

like oh fuck i knew i fucking forgot something mate the only issue i've got was what you just said is you didn't address the all blacks by their full title the mighty all blacks uh the go the mighty boys uh the back-to-back world champions, the All Blacks. God bless them. Shit, I love them. Yeah, look, Tim, I didn't have a good time this morning either, but to be honest, it just felt like going into work, punching in my time card, just getting through a day and coming out the other end, you know?

It was worse than that for me today. Something uniquely bad about it. It was the worst one I've had in quite some time. I can't remember when it was this bad for the last little while. I worry about you. I feel like you're on a slippery slope downhill at the moment. Spirits are so low in the Bat Camp. They're not high.

I'm just, by the way, if you can get a tonne, of course you're getting a lot of atmos there, you might be able to hear a plane that's just gone over me. I'm outside on a balcony just overlooking a beautiful, sunshiny day in Wellington, in God's own. It's nice out here, but it's noisy. But I will say this, I'm not sure when this episode's going to come out because we really blew our load in terms of bandwidth

with that five-hour episode. So we might have to wait for the new year to click over for it to refresh how much space we got on the thingy so if this is late apologies for that but um these are the these are the technical challenges that we are dealing with on a daily basis you know battling away you're trying to get the show to you you put a piece of five hour content out there that no one asked for and a surprising amount of people listened to and then you face all sorts of battles and the fallout from that. I actually took several notes this morning, Tim,

some of which I would just love to dive into with you. I took notes too. You go for gold, mate. Well, obviously, you know that this television has caused a lot of problems in Big and Kerry's relationship, which, you know, if television is what's causing problems, I think you've got to look deeper inside than that. She's saying to him, I don't want to be one of those boring couples who watch TV in bed and

don't talk. Could you imagine? So they got back together, whatever, in 2010. Could you imagine five years later what Netflix has done to this couple it has completely rewritten the rule book on watching television in bed I mean do you think Carrie's made her peace with that or do you think they're just a seriously unhappy couple I actually suspect that streaming services like Netflix have brought people like Carrie into the fold where they're more understanding because it's not like previously when the uninitiated would think of television you just think of this big gray blob of deadliest catch in your head and you write the whole medium off as a whole but what people have access now is uh they've got access to niche content that fits their requirements what they want to see

got a little itch that can only be scratched by a doco? Mate, tons of them. Tons of them on there. Do you want a bit of light entertainment or some really well-executed drama? Maybe an excellent comic book series, you know, a la Jessica Jones? Fucking flip that on.

It's all there waiting for you. This episode brought to you by Netflix. As they all are. Well, you know, that's a fair point I guess so maybe it isn't the death now. The other thing around that TV was when he's watching Deadliest Catch and you know you can hear one of the characters

in Deadliest Catch going, is that all you got? Yeah. That sounds to me so much like Aiden. It's so weird that you say that because I think I've got a vague memory of, I thought, I heard that voice this watch, and I thought something,

and I can't remember what my thought was, and it might have been that as well. It's got to be. But surely if they have used the name Deadliest Catch, they're using a real clip from the real show, right? Well, you know, know aiden or whatever the actor's name is he probably spent a bit of time he could have been shooting a crab fishing movie and he did some uh research by going on deadliest catch for a week could be a celebrity

guest episode oh my god the crossover that'd be so good if michael patrick king snuck that in and didn't tell anyone that the guy who plays Aiden is in Deadliest Catch and that's the clip that they fished out, don't excuse the pun, and decided to put in the movie. These are the easter eggs that people don't otherwise know about and that's why what we're doing is so fucking valuable. Yeah, it

only takes 44 watches to crack that nut as well. And then when they are in the market right, so according to this timeline, I think Aiden is actually, the character Aiden is the guy from Deadliest Catch. So I think after Carrie and Aiden split, he sort of went on a huge soul-searching journey before he met his current wife

and wound up on these sort of Alaskan big rigs fishing. And what I wanted to happen, when they see each other in old Abu Dhabi in the market and the music's playing and they're sort of walking towards one another in slow motion okay i can't remember if i've articulated this before all i wanted to happen there is to just for them to just keep walking past each other like they've both they've both spotted something just past the other person and they're so absorbed in it just a little red herring just some different it would be a lovely play on that oft-used trope.

Yeah. It'd be a really nice bit of comedy. And can you imagine how devastating that would be for the superfans? Because, I mean, MKP's already shitting on them with the whole film in the first place. But if you're watching and you're like, oh my God, Carrie and Aiden are going to be reunited

in Abu Dhabi, and then they just keep walking and Aiden just walks out of the movie forever. Whoops. Aiden are going to be reunited in Abu Dhabi and then they just keep walking and Aiden just walks out of the movie forever whoops but yeah they obviously didn't go with that choice if I may dive into a couple of my notes that I've written here as well for some reason I've put time codes in as well and I've just written comments they're kind of like journal

entries I've got it 0 minutes 30 seconds the movie appears to be playing slowly at least your keys in slow-mo or something i'm scared yeah i remember that thought that was um it felt i actually checked uh my media player on my laptop to make sure i was playing it at the correct speed because if it felt like everything was playing at about 75% of what it should have been, which was terrifying because then what is already a two-and-a-half-hour movie could have turned into three-and-a-quarter.

But it wasn't. It was just my mind playing tricks on me. It just felt longer right from the get-go, right from the first frame. Yeah. Terrifying. That is terrifying. It's also kind of um empowering if you think about what what the human brain's doing there and is capable of and you think about you know your your personal mental relationship with this movie i mean this this movie is running ram ram shot

is that the word it's running riot rough shot It's just running all over you, mate. You're sort of this passive target, and the movie's just a big tank. You've got to stick up for yourself. When the movie starts, you need to stand up in whatever room you're in and look at the screen and say, no, not today, death. Quick shout out to Till Death Do Us Blart.

Our sister podcast. A lovely enterprise which involves only watching a terrible movie once a year. Do you call it a sister project if it's you doing it? Or is it generally if it's like other people but the spirit connects it? You choose. I call it a sister. It's our sister podcast. You can check it out at deathblart.com i think did i buy that url definitely at till death do us blart.com um shout out to the mackaroy brothers

my brother my brother and me um the next note i had is at the six minute mark now guy i'm gonna paint a picture for you you're at a wedding wedding that's in Connecticut. It's two dudes getting married. You're fully dressed. You've done your hair. You're like, you're ready to get out the door. Like a lot of time and energy has been put into getting yourself perfect. Are you going to fuck at that point? Someone you're married to?

I love this line of questioning. Look, you know, you've got to... I actually admire this about Cairnbaker. They're indulging their sexual whims. It's important for a healthy relationship. I see your point, though. I don't think... Thanks, Dan Savage.

I didn't know you would have such a strong opinion on it, but I was actually happy to hear that. You're right. Maybe I'm being unfair. Nah, but, yeah, I mean, it goes both ways, though, because you do have to think Carrie is the best man. She has obviously spent a lot of time on her hair. I mean, it's a bloody crow's nest. It's crimp city, baby.

It's obviously taken so long to do, but it is so shit. She also comes, because Big's like, how's my tie? And then Carrie comes out and says, how's my tie? Which is a classic both of them, first of all. They're both self-involved. She kind of overrides his question with the fact she's also wearing a tie. And he's like, you need a little help. Touches it for 10 seconds and proceeds to do absolutely nothing to the bow tie.

I just think, no, you know, I like your question, but I'm all for them having sex. If anything, that's a rare bastion of hope for their otherwise doomed relationship. I like what you're doing for my dark approach, guy. You're questioning it. You're meeting it.

You're coming right up to its face and you're shouting in it and you're going hey i'm treating your socks up mate i'm treating your socks up like a big scary dog and uh you know a dog can smell fair and you gotta you gotta it's so funny that you use dog as an analogy because my next note came out the seven minute mark and i just wrote down i don't know why but i want want more of Samantha's dog in the movie. And I do. I stand by that comment. Yeah,

it's funny. It's wearing a little hat. There's a lot to like there. Tim, before we plow through the rest of your notes, cause I'm curious, I would like to know at what point did your note taking seriously start to drop off? Cause there's no way in hell you kept up this level of note taking for two and a half hours.

20 minute mark. And then what happened? I had two more notes after that, and that's it. And what was happening in your mind? I just kind of surrendered, I guess. Because it's sort of like, the notes are almost like you're putting up a battle to the movie. You're like, yeah, I'll think about you.

I'll chew over you. I'll try and come up with some angles. I'll think of some thoughts while I'm watching. And then eventually, it's just sheer brute force of the film. You just go, oh, fuck it. Fine. You win.

You win. I'll just switch off. I'll just let you wash all around me with your stupidness. Does it occur to you the insanity of trying to wrestle with an inanimate object such as this movie? The movie will pay you. It's like hitting a tennis ball against a wall and hoping to win. Yeah, you're right.

You're right. It makes no sense. Because I sort of, I made a few notes throughout. I got, but yeah, it drops off. That point, I think we flagged it last week, when they had that argument and the whole movie just turns to shit. Oh, I mapped that out, actually. It's interesting, because that happens at the 27-minute mark of the film,

and Sex and the City episodes on HBO were half an hour, and they don't have ads so they would have been almost exactly that length so it is like um yeah that's the level of metric metric pikel king yeah uh has been able to mattress pikelet sings yeah he he's been able to um only do that one trick that he knows how to do of write a half hour episode of Sex and the City. And then the whole facade crashes down around him and the movie just grinds to an absolute fucking halt. And there's nothing anymore. There's no point.

There's no pace. There's no pathos. The peas are gone. It's a passable episode of Sex and city uh settled with a two-hour addendum yeah yeah it's not it doesn't make for pretty watching and an epilogue that involves the girls going to abu dhabi and one of them bashing someone who's not their husband and then actually and this ties in quite nicely with what i noticed this week. And I think I've said it before, but just the clutching at straws. So pretty much when they're tying up all the loose ends

that they've sort of scattershot, put through the movie, namely the passport going missing, and when they're trying to get out of Abu Dhabi and they go and get the passport and there's no problem with that and then they go, they can't get a cab and and carrie uses a tip she picked up from a tv actually from uh it happened one night where she reveals reveals her leg and that's such a ham-fisted attempt to be like oh look look the characters have learned something you know or anything or anything like that and then

as they drive the cab out they just for the sake of reminding everyone that, in fact, they are watching the same movie from 12 hours ago, they show you the Heart of the Desert poster in the background, and it's just... Yes. It's just a... It's gratuitous. It's just like the loosest, most obvious, transparent attempt

by Michelle Patricia Kingey to make the thing feel whole. But you can't put two eggs and a cup of flour in a mixing bowl and then just leave it for two hours and come back and tell everyone that you've made a cake you've made a fucking mess the perfect analogy for this clean it up clean

clean up I would like to if it's alright with you Guy Montgomery give a shout out to some people who have donated to the cause at worstideaofalltime.com. Whatever. You click on the merch page. Hey. Whatever it takes to make my boy Tim Bat feel better, I am.

I think it's important we keep recognizing these people because they're troopers. And to all the people who bought t-shirts and stuff and posters for Christmas and whatnot, fucking God bless you, because it really warms the cockles of Guy and I. There was two friends, two girlfriends on Facebook that flicked us a message. They had got each other the same shirt. Our match is a Christmas present. I would like to speak to that just quickly would all you uh pussy ass motherfuckers please buy one of the t-shirts which says love every day uh from what i've noticed online no one has bought a t-shirt uh representing my tattoo

and i'm gonna go on a limb and say it's probably because uh it leads with the latin word cooked it cooked us meaning yeah love now i understand that you know at a glance it might appear to be another much more unsavory word but it's not I've got it on my body the least one of you could do is wear it for one day of your god damn lives I treat this as a contest and Tim is pretty much beating me I don't know how many to zip I haven't sold a single fucking t-shirt oh mate

oh mate I don't know what to tell you you're going to lose you're going to lose heartily. Annabelle Pyrie is the cool person who sent us the photo of her and her mate wearing the T-shirts. The following people have donated to us, though. They didn't even ask for anything in return, Guy. They just flicked us money.

Alan Daig Green, he gave us 50 US dollars for crying out loud. And he has written a note to us saying, I waited until the director's commentary to watch the movie and god damn, I sat through the entire five hour episode and watched the movie twice in a row. Oh Jesus. You two are legends, possessing an unreasonable power to entertain. Also, you demonstrate an alarming familiarity with United States geography. I know fuck all about New Zealand geography. Cheers, Alan, for saying so.

I don't... I don't know. Love the States. We're Americophiles. Just for anyone listening who's thinking... who hasn't listened to the five-hour episode and is thinking about doing it the way Alan did, I don't think that's the right way. I think the right way is to just bite it off in small chunks i think do it on a

trip i wholeheartedly recommend getting on a plane and having that downloaded into your iphone and just shutting your eyes and letting letting us letting it wash over you especially if you've got like some sleeping pills or something just to get you in a bit of a relaxed zone and just let the whole let it let us be a warm audio blanket that you can wrap yourself on no no no that's a bad idea man imagine that you'll have some fucked up dreams yeah you wake up an hour and just so groggy and dehydrated and there's just two people losing their minds in your ears that is not a healthy flying situation there's something very true about it though like emotionally true you're getting really close to where we're at the following people have also donated uh sean archer james roberts uh james

mcnally who says i know you guys are suffering for the sake of well i don't know why our entertainment maybe i just hope that you keep in mind the benefits are worth it. That's a line from the movie. Good on you. Carol and... Oh, wait. Did I shout this person out last time? I don't know, Tim. And this Drezis...

I don't know how to say it last time. I feel like you did because you struggled with the last name last week. Yeah. I didn't realize we could leave comments. I'm throwing you guys a dollar because I love that term and because you guys are the balls. Love the show and how it showcases your collective blah blah blah

love from California, good on you Carol, thank you I appreciate the kind words, I'm sorry I just skipped over them but I'm not here to blow smoke up my own ass California knows how to party Eric Peavy Joshua Peters writes these reparations are only a fraction of what you deserve for your pain and suffering

thank you mate Stuart Hill, Stuart Hill 50 bucks mate These reparations are only a fraction of what you deserve for your pain and suffering. Thank you, mate. Stuart Hill. Stuart Hill, 50 bucks, mate. Stuart Hill. It's just 50 bucks to let you know that a dude in Dallas, Texas, has listened to every episode and enjoyed every single second. When you did that Southern, even when you did that Southern Voice episode, for this $50, I would ask that you please promote one small thing for me in Dallas, Texas.

This is in quote marks, guy, so I've got to read it verbatim. When you visit Dallas, Texas, and you are super thirsty for coffee like Coffee Man, please visit Surge Coffee in downtown to get your fix. Hey, I like that. When you do, tell them Stu sent you. I'm not the owner. I get nothing from this. I work at an ad agency around the corner and trying to get these guys a little publicity because I love them

and they are good humans. They are no Big Pipe, but if Big Pipe was a coffee business in Dallas, Texas, then Serge would be them, maybe, probably. Go. Love, Stu Hill. Stu? I do love you, Stu Hill. Okay, well done. Serge Coffee.

You bloody Trojan horse and ad for this coffee house into our podcast. But you're in advertising, mate. Fucking do something about it. I know you get given clients, but a little pro bono work for Serge. Yeah. There are other ways to get this done. Look, I'm humbled and flattered by all of this, particularly at this time of year when I look forward to blowing these donations

on supplies as i ring in 2016 a year full of promise and a very small slate of sex in the two screenings it makes me so happy god almost makes me want to squeed up it makes you want to what And the town never knew such a hullabaloo What's he drinking? Where's he going? Why is he drinking such coffee? That's he going? Is it a ceramic mug? That's right, every week. What's the question?

It's the same question. Only one question to be repeated and nauseam. I'm going to be honest with you. I was making a note during this scene pertaining to the narrative advice of Carrie Bradshaw speaking over what happens. Fucking blink and you missit style cameo, and it's easy to forget that. Yeah, it is.

Didn't see the guy. A lot of people write to us, they say, I've watched the movie, Coffee Guy's not in it. And we go, look, you have our word, he's there, ever so briefly, but he is there. Yeah, frankly, the notion that he doesn't exist at all is kind of an affront to our sanity the guy's in the movie all right the thing is though guy maybe he isn't sometimes and like

today is an example of no you've just sounded more insane by suggesting that some weeks he doesn't show up to work you're revisiting the helicon days of grown-ups too and i was convinced that different performances were occurring week in, week out. I still feel like in your heart of hearts you're playing by that game in this as well. I do think that, yes. I think the thing with the coffee guy is

he's got a lot on. He's a busy dude and sometimes he can make it to the performance and sometimes he can't. That's right. Apart from featuring in Sex and the City 2 every week, maybe that's what it is. Maybe he only shows up for our screenings. And if a more fair weather fan dips their toes into the Sex and the City 2 pool, Coffee Guy, he doesn't always show up because he's flat-tacked with his other stuff. Featuring in quite literally every other movie

or television program known to humanity. He's in everything. He's like Superman in Seinfeld, except in every cultural product that's ever been produced. Did I just hear your parents laughing in the background? Yeah, good ears, mate. I don't know what they're up to. I imagine your dad just explained the concept of the podcast to your mom she listens no no yeah dog really yeah absolutely that's crazy my uh

my little sister hold on mom you listen to the podcast day yeah she does now she's gonna be in it my little sister listens my older sister doesn't get down with podcasts at all. She broke her arm very severely earlier in the year, snapped her humerus in two. She's got a 15-centimeter metal rod put in it. And when she was recovering, she'd go to the treadmill and she would listen to the podcast while running on the treadmill. And I was talking about it with her the other day because we're both home for the holidays. to the treadmill and she would listen to the podcast while running on the treadmill and i was

talking about it with her the other day uh because we're both home for the holidays and uh she said yeah i started listening to it on the on the treadmill but then eventually it just made me want to kill myself so i had to stop i assume that's happened to a lot of people they dip their toes in, and they'll listen to the odd episode or two, and then they'll go like, you know what? Fuck this.

And I wish that we had the same ability to choose our own fate. That's what Coffee Guy's doing every week, Guy. He's sometimes deciding to just not pop in that week. He's like, oh, fuck it. I cannot. I'm here most of the time. 90% of the time I'll make it in, but I'm taking a sick day this day.

I cannot deal. I think that is what happened to him this week as well. I think he's crook. He's had too much coffee. He's gotten ill. It's the holidays. He's full of turkey and caffeine. I mean, the toilet is an absolute mess.

He's flat tack. He just can't dip out to hear those screaming banshees plan their trip to the Middle East. He's got too much on. Too much other shit on. He's got to be on the toilet for extended periods at the moment. It's not a good scene. All power to him.

I actually respect him more for that, if anything. I would like to just offer my thoughts and prayers to Coffee Guy during this difficult toilet period for him. I hope he comes out of this alright. I'd like to offer my thoughts and prayers to Coffee Guy during this difficult toilet period for him? I hope he comes out and is alright. I'd like to offer my thoughts and prayers to the family and any guests of Coffee Guy over this difficult period. It would be

for the best if you would use maybe the upstairs bathroom. The bathroom on the ground floor is more or less out of order for the foreseeable future. It's a porcelain nightmare that we're dealing with. What is happening in there is... It's a crime scene.

It is a crime scene, that's right. It's been taped off. Even Coffee Guy's not allowed in there. He's got the NYPD over. They've cordoned off the whole area. I mean, no one comes in or out. The entire house is on lockdown, such is the devastation of what's happening there.

So pray for coffee guy. Pray for coffee guy. Save coffee guy. It's like save Ferris, if you're familiar with John Hughes' career during the late 80s. Anyway, look, guy, I've got one more note that I just want to dwell on. I can leave the other ones at the door, but the guy at the bar being Jared from The Pretender, I just can't get over this fact.

And I noticed something with that information that we got given by a fan on this watch, armed with that context. That guy, who could be an assassin or could be hitting on big, we're still not 100% sure which one, it's definitely the same character from The Pretender because what he does right, he's at this weird environment.

He's at a gay wedding. He's out of sorts. He's found a tux to get into so he can blend in. And he's just trying to follow everyone's lead and not arouse suspicion. So it makes sense that when Big goes, have a nice night, Jared says back to him either seductively or threateningly,

depending on what mood you're in, he says back to him, you have a nice night. Because says back to him, either seductively or threateningly, depending on what mood you're in, he says back to him, you have a nice night. Because he's just parroting lines. Because that's the best way to blend in. Just pick up what you're hearing around you and just repeat it. It's definitely the same character from The Pretender. He is a genius who's escaped an institute

where he was held as a child. And Miss Parker's on his case. And he's just trying to get away. There's so much going on if you just scratch a little bit under the surface of this film. I believe the expression is still waters run deep. And what was once thought of as an offensive and destructive two-and-a-half-hour Middle Eastern romp, I'm pretty happy to say we are slowly uncovering is, in fact, is just littered with characters and heroes and villains.

There's a lot going on. Yeah, I actually, I had two shining lights this week, Tim, and you still owe me one, and we do have to dig into that big leather-bound book before we can dip out of the conversation and carry on with our lives but uh i noticed panic is spreading through new york city on account of brady and when miranda rushes to the science fair to watch brady take out first prize in the second grade science contest beating i can't remember her name with what is static electricity an outrage that has uh reverberated through the school for years since. There is a parent, a blonde woman, as she looks frenzied and panicked

and she is describing something fearful to another parent and this is happening exactly as it is being revealed that Brady has won first prize and I don't know her involvement, but she knows something. And she's trying to get the word out before it's too late. Wow. I would encourage you to look for her. So when Miranda enters the building, one of the first shots you see is a very frenzied and panicked blonde woman

explaining the situation to someone. Certainly, I'll keep my eyes peeled. And then also, while we're talking about Miranda again, I'd just like to say that while they try and make a happy ending for everyone in this film, I noticed, as she's giving her speech at her new workplace, her new law firm at the end, while Sidney Lopp is True Colours' place,

the catering at that lunch is an absolute shambles. There's no cutlery or plates there's no rhyme or reason to what's happening and while I'm very excited that Miranda's got a new job I mean there's no arguing the fact that she's downgraded in terms of law firm this place is an absolute disarray and frankly it'll be lucky to make it to the end of the calendar year

I love what this comment communicates to me because it means that you were with the movie right till the end because that is the epilogue of the film that you're describing and you were still tuned in with enough detail to be able to pick out the lack of cutlery on that table look there's deserve a medal for that guy there's like there's three staff members of the catering team one of them is tossing salad. God knows what he's going to serve it into. The other two are reaching back and forth from the table as if there are jobs for them to do. I mean, these people are going to eat out of a trough,

from what I understand. You can't hire out a premium-grade catering service and make your customers eat out of a trough. And I'll talk about that until I'm blue in the face, Tim. That's the horn of truth cool we should get the sound effects bank i like that um hey do you want my shining light more than anything it was the music that underscores the moment where the louis vuitton reveal comes when the woman and burkas take off their burkas where the Louis Vuitton reveal comes, when the women in burqas take off their burqas,

and they're in the new season line. Yeah. And there's just, like, the music is trying so hard to imbue a sense of emotion into that otherwise wretched scene. The sequence is just happening in front of you. You're just going, Jesus fucking Christ. Not only do we all need to pack up our things and go home, we've been in this movie cinema for two hours and ten minutes now, and nothing's happened,

but this is just an affront to good taste and the correct way that I think globalisation should be happening. It's an affront to common sense and movie making in general, and the music is trying so hard to add a bit of delicacy and vulnerability to the moment. Comradery. It's trying so hard. So I'd like to tip my hat to the composer,

and good job. I'd like to tip my hat with you. The amount of work that was left to the scoring of this film is unfathomable. The fact that the composer and the orchestra who played the music don't get a leading title credit at the start of the film is an insult and it's an indicator to the egomaniac that was Michael Pickles Kingston. Either that or he did a deal where he was like, I'll do the work, but there's no way I want my name anywhere near this.

So if I'm signing this, I'm getting your money and I will not be mentioned. That is... Give me a pen name if you need to put some title card there for composer. Equally possible. And now, as always, Tim, it's time to head up to the... Nom de plume. ...30th floor of

a huge glass building. A room with nothing but screens and the etchings of a madman. It is, of course, Mr. Big's big book of ideas.

What's he brewing? What's he thinking? Guys, A big book of ideas. What's he brewing? What's he thinking? Guy, Big is known as a man of a lot of thoughts and concepts and ways to make money for himself and for others and for himself to recommend to others that he charges out those ideas for to make himself money off the back of the companies making money. Now, one of his most recent concepts that he's floated to an airline

is instead of the traditional route to get from New York City to Abu Dhabi in a more direct flight path, to go over the plains of Africa. There's no real rhyme or reason to how this would save time. Certainly would seem to be more expensive because of the jet fuel. I have a theory about why exactly Big wants big wants this flight path and that is please well we all know big of course uh from the the popular group intergalactic glory hill glory hell the world's premier 17 piece scar king's cover band now a lesson on fact is that uh big's brother is steve lucather now steve lucather of course he he's the guitarist, singer, and songwriter

who pretty much led Toto, the rock band Toto. Now, we all know Toto's most popular song, of course, is Africa, a song which is occasionally forgotten. And frankly, Africa is Steve Lukather,ather big's brother pretty much his only remaining source of serious income and so the logic holds if we can just i mean it would make a lot more sense to just give him some of his money but if we can just get these planes flying over the planes of africa the unfortunate thing is uh is a misunderstood tribute as well. Big thought that the song was talking about

aeroplanes over Africa, because he's not familiar with what the word planes means in terms of a stretch of land. So he thinks that not only is he doing a musical business favour to the band Toto, but he thinks it's some sort of emotional tribute as well, taking the lyrics of the song to put but he thinks it's some sort of emotional tribute as well taking the lyrics of the song to put more planes over africa i mean and it just doesn't make any fucking sense the whole

thing's horribly misguided i believe if i'm not much mistaken and this is why it's such a it's such a bizarre gesture it's so generous but it's also so misguided is uh i i bless the rains down in africa so unless that airplane is distributing water i mean there's no correlation between the song and the new flight path at all except for in the insane in the sanctum of mr big's cranium which is a terrifying place to sit yourself even for half an hour. You certainly wouldn't want to spend a lifetime in there. Good Lord, no. Guy, that might just about done do it for us this week.

Absolutely. What? Absolutely, I agree. Oh, good. You kind of cut out there, So that would be a good time. Hey, what I'd like to do, though, is in exchange for the very variable sound quality of this episode and its lateness,

apologies for both those things, as Penance, one of our fans, by the name of Josh Peters, has sent us a cover that he's done of the worst idea of all time theme song which by the way if you want to do a cover by all means do it send it to us

I'm not going to guarantee that we'll play it excuse me Jesus those sneezes are coming in so hot on my headphones but bless you I actually I kind of leaned into the Jesus, those sneezes are coming in so hot on my headphones. But bless you. I actually, I kind of leaned into the, it doesn't matter. What matters is Josh Peters has sent us a theme song,

a take on the original, which is done by Matt Mulholland, who you should look up, if for no other reason than his recorder cover of the Titanic theme. In fact, we'll post that on the facebook page we absolutely will because we don't talk about the talent of matt mulholland enough but he's the one who just like in a matter of a couple hours after i asked him just shout out that theme song which we've been using all season um this however is josh peters doing a cover to take us home guy any final words or thoughts as we head into the new year, 2016, and the home stretch of this season? Look, happy holidays

to one and all. I'd like all of you, for whatever you're celebrating or not celebrating, you secular maniacs, to receive from me, Guy Montgomery, to you, kind listener, a kiss, for a kiss is always a gift.

Take a time, Josh. It's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea of all time It's the worst idea of all time It's the worst idea of all time Season 2