The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Forty Seven - Becky Lucas

Episode Date: January 23, 2016

This ep brought to you by BIGPIPE.CO.NZ. The boys have enlisted the assistance of bloody excellent Aussie comedian Becky Lucas (@becky_lucas89) and she has watched the film hung over and emotional. Crying no less than seven times during the film, Becky is bringing some spicy, fair dinkum suggestions to Coffee Guy and Mr Big's Big Book of Ideas. Also on this week's venture; understanding ISIS, sympathy for Carrie and the continuing debate of the Sand Wedge (sandwich?) joke (joke?) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ladies and gentlemen, this episode of the podcast is brought to you by BigPipe.co.nz. If you're not in New Zealand, you'll be screamed with envy, jealous as they come, because you won't have access to New Zealand's finest ISP, BigPipe. BigPipe.co.nz, no contracts, no throttling of your speed. They do not give a crap how much you download. Excellent online support. They have got very fast plans. Very fast, very cost-effective plans. Unlimited.

There's no caps. There's no contracts. There's very little terms and conditions. Just grab your modem and rush over to bigpipe.co.nz. If you join, make sure you use the code WORST when you sign up, and that helps us out, lets them know that you've come to them through us. Enjoy the podcast. Big pipe.

It's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea of all time. Season two. Should we just rip the scab off this thing? I don't feel ready. Do you want to? I think we've already started. All right. Hello and welcome along. Sorry, hold on.

I'll introduce you in just one second, friend. White ghost. Welcome along to the worst idea of all time. Halt spectre. My name's Guy Montgomery. My name's Tim Batt. And we've just watched Sex and City 2 for the 47th time. And we are joined by a very special guest all the way

from Australia through some rat infested pipes in the internet. You know her from being hilarious all over the country. It's Becky bloody Lucas. How are you? Do they know me from being that all over the country? At least 10 people at minimum, who are listening right now. Like, yes, motherfucker, Becky Lucas is on the show. Yep, here I am. Here I am. Here I am. I hopped in on the back of a kangaroo and I took a whistle of the gum leaf and a tip of the akubra.

Those are those dope hats, eh? Akubras? Yeah. Yeah. It's nothing to laugh at. It's not a joke. No, man. They're a great hat. You're wearing one right now. Great cultural product of Australia. Little corks around it. I'm Aussie, mate.

Hey, Becky. Proud of it. Had you watched this film, Sex and the City 2, prior to the screening of it, the special screening? I'd not gotten around to it. Wasn't on you to do? Yeah, why not? Just a busy schedule, very busy.

Guys, we should explain. Sorry, before we dive too fucking arse over tit into this thing, Becky is a close personal comedy friend of ours so uh i think we got to know at the melbourne international comedy festival yeah she's just a just a classy gal just you know like yeah uh the professionals they'll call becky a class act she's a real class act uh real joy to work with real joy to work with real class act uh yeah from the moment we started working together i just knew that i was in for a good time real class act. From the moment we started working together, I just knew that I was in for a good time. Real class act.

Real professional. Real pro. Yeah. On and off the stage. On and off the stage. Big time. Hard out. And so, because of your busy schedule,

obviously you haven't gotten around to watching the movie, so you've now carved out some time. Yeah. How did you enjoy it? You know what, boys? I know you want me to say that I hated it. There's nothing I want you to say. I'm all ears.

I mean, it's obviously a terrible movie, which is, I mean, that's why we're gathered here today. We're just watching it. We're not casting suspicions. Yeah, right. I'm really emotional at the moment, and I'm crying at everything And I actually I'm really hungover

And I cried Did you really? At what part? Part 6 lesson 2 Had the emotional gravitas to get you to cry Like 7 different parts I teared up I think I'm just very sad that is music do you know that how happy this news makes me that is music to my ears that it got through

to someone becky you you goddamn you're a goddamn angel i know i'm the only one i've never listened to your podcast sorry but uh why would you You've got a very busy schedule. We understand. Yeah, I have to order food right to my door and eat it and feel sick. Just to be clear, I've consciously avoided listening to you on any podcast you've appeared on before as well. Even podcasts I regularly listen to if I see Becky Lucas is on it.

I'll stay clear of that. Avoid them at all costs. It's a nightmare. Becky, can you take me through the blah, blah, blah of where at this movie you cried? It's a nightmare. Vicky, can you take me through the blah, blah, blah of where at this movie you cried? It's hard. I'm so embarrassed. We're all friends, mate.

We're all friends here. I just, okay, what about, where did I cry? I cried when Charlotte's having trouble with the kids and she goes into the cupboard and cries. Oh, my God. I used to be a nanny. cupboard and cries. Oh my god. I used to be a nanny. It's hard. It's tough. It's not hard. She's just chosen to make a billion cupcakes. She's put it all on herself.

There's no reason for you to make that number of cupcakes. Someone's got to do that. This is the thing. They would have you believe that someone has to do it. No one has to make that number of cupcakes. If you look at the amount of money they're throwing at other problems, surely if you had to make those cupcakes and you knew you had a lot on at the time, you could just out.

No, but she's trying to be an involved mother. She's trying to teach her kids the value of making something at home and taking it to a party. And to be honest, those kids don't understand one of them screaming. She's not focusing. If she's teaching her kids about responsibility and making cupcakes for the party, she should be concentrating on giving them that lesson.

But she's just in the middle of the job, calls up her friend. Yeah, well, she's worried about those big tits swinging in front of her husband's face. As we all would be, putting her position. I mean, They're beautiful Very full Very full Yeah Buxom

Springs to mind Gorgeous Absolutely gorgeous I myself have no tits You can drink cereal Out of my tits So Every time I see

Some good ones You're really on the lookout There Becky It's a really tickled guy By the way I don't know if you can hear it You absolutely can because he's peeking out the microphone with his laughter Crackerjack line

What were some other moments That really grabbed you by the shortened curlies And had you in tears I'm trying to think As I say I'm really I think I'm just sad at the moment Everything's making me cry I'm trying to think. Because, yeah, as I say, I think I'm just sad at the moment and everything's making me cry. I'm sorry to hear that.

Oh, no, in a fine way. I hope you're all right. In a way, I tear up. I tear up at commercials or any sort of display of sentimentality. You're very in touch with your emotions right now. Yeah. I'm just alone. I'm really lonely at the moment.

No, everyone's busy. Well, I mean, you yourself, you've confessed to being very busy. Very busy. Why else would you not listen to our podcast? Surely that's the only reason. I'm on the go, you know. I'm here, I'm there. It's great for listening to on the go.

Okay, I'll listen to it after this one. See how I rate it. Because the thing is, I was nervous about doing this podcast because I know everyone, like obviously there's so many problems in it, but I don't want to say what everyone else has said. So I was trying to come at it with a new angle. We don't need that many people on. All we want is just unfettered Becky Lucas consideration of the film.

You don't need to be afraid of retreating any water. You just put it on full blast, all of your feelings. I can say anything. You can. You can say anything. Samantha's a slut, isn't she? I actually had a good laugh at a Samantha scene today, which was when she's at the wedding they go to,

and her and Nicky, Anthony's brother, they get together and they have very loud, kind of obnoxiously loud sex. Oh, yeah, it sounds like a meat raffle. Yeah. Can you just explain for those who aren't from the New Zealand, Australia region, what a meat raffle is? A meat raffle is when you go to like a pub.

People know what pubs are, right? Yeah, absolutely. yeah it's a pub and there's a big tray of meat right they'll get a local butcher to donate a tray of meat and you buy a ticket a meat pack and yeah all sorts of meats you got sausages steaks um a whole chicken sometimes and and and do people get very excited at these meat raffles yeah people get everyone wants it like so you buy you buy a um a raffle ticket for i don't know one or one or two dollars and i think the money either goes does it go to charity or something yeah it usually goes there's usually something like sandra ate a bag of fireworks and died oh we're raising money for her um that's usually some some we're trying to stop darwinism and ironically we're doing this in darwin it's all gone off the rails exactly uh yeah so but yeah very i know that scene was outrageous yeah but what what tickled me this

week and i have seen it before so it's always a joy to find something that really gives you a good laugh, but was their sexual encounter is so loud and so, you know, overt. Boisterous. Boisterous. It inspires, you know, the logic of the movie would imply, because there's a shot of a dog humping a pillow immediately afterwards. So the logic would be that it has inspired that dog it's like awakened a sexuality in that dog to be like oh my god i gotta get something and just which is a very weird it's a very weird thing to add in isn't it

be like oh people don't get how how uh how loud this sex is we better put a dog and they would have had to rile the dog up to make it do that that's a good point actually because there's a dog fluffer you can't go to a dog hey can you just go over there and hump that cushion real quick you gotta like you gotta go to it yeah there's actually there are professional puppet puppet workers puppeteers who go on set and they so they'll have a puppet of a dog inside the pillow. Oh my God. I thought you meant it was a ventriloquist who was used to manipulating stuff by putting

their hand in an ass. He's like, oh God. No, no. But it turns out I'm the disgusting one. They'll put a puppet of a dog and they'll show the dog then putting it inside the pillow and the dog will be on heat and then will pump the pillow. Oh my God. Or maybe they got an actual female dog on heat and like rubbed a pillow against it

so its pheromones are on the pillow. What a disgusting set of potential circumstances. It's pretty great. What a day on set. Yeah. It's a lot of trouble to go to for a cutaway gag. It was a big shoot. Yeah.

It actually made me feel uncomfortable that bit. The loud sex? No, the dog. Do you know what, Becky Lucas? This movie is about challenging boundaries and traditional perceptions that you may have. What does it mean to be a feminist? What does it mean to be a woman?

What does it mean to be in the Middle East? What does it mean to make a film? It's challenging all of those horizons or parameters that we thought we knew. It's very avant-garde, isn't it? I mean, it's horrendous. When she's talking about the economy and she goes, I need to do something rich.

Is that what she says? She says, two years of bad business in this bullshit economy and I'm out. I need to go somewhere rich. I'm getting the lines now. I'm finally getting them. I only took 47 watches. I'm finally getting the dialogue. You smashed that line out of the park.

Like, how did they write that? I need to sneeze. Wait. A dartboard. Well, actually, we watched an interview with the director, Mattis Pikelet-King. Bless you. Thank you.

We watched it last week, and he was saying that it was like it was the notion was it was meant to be escapism for Americans because it was set and it was made in the recessions

it was like and we thought you know these people who can't go away would like to see some other people on a movie

I never thought about how ridiculous is that but that's that's not how escapism works it's not like oh you know how you broke your leg I thought I'd show you some footage of me running along a's not how escapism works. It's not like, oh, you know how you broke your leg?

I thought I'd show you some footage of me running along a beach. It's escapism. It's like, no, you're fucking rubbing it in someone's dumb face for being disabled. Like, that's awful. That's the opposite. Yeah, they should have shown, I don't know, they should have made it Auschwitz themed or something.

Yeah, there you go. That's escapism it's like hey remember the holocaust you're not in that so it should have been four girls go to the tip

I would watch the hell out of Sex and the City 3 yeah yeah that's funny because that's the thing that's another thing that I noticed

and we talked about a little bit when we were watching the movie Tim is there's no... I'm going to address this to both myself and Becky. The issue is there's no call to action. There's nothing that gets you excited about what the gals are about to do. No.

And, I mean, the closest they have is when it's like, well, I've got a free, very expensive free trip for all of us to go to Abu Dhabi. Are we going to do it? Yes. We're all going to Abu Dhabi. And then the call to action is a holiday, as you said, Tim. It's like, yeah. It's crazy.

It's crazy. It's not a film. But the critical thing here, and in Sex and the City 2, a romp through the Middle East, which is the subtitle of the film, in its defence, we're taking it completely out of context because the ramp into this, the justification for it, has been six, seven, eight maybe TV seasons and another movie, of which Guy and myself have seen none.

Oh, see, because I really liked the TV series. Oh, well, that's good. The TV series was quite good. I mean, I don't know. I know it's been usurped by better things and stuff, but at its time, it was great writing and it had real themes of friendship and I really enjoyed it a lot. I will admit that.

As someone who was a fan of the show then, when you watched the characters chilling out in set two, set C2, heart of the desert. Oh, no, it's like they're completely different people. Yeah. And they all look at each other like they're not, like it seems like four people who have no connection go to Abu Dhabi. Yeah.

But they don't seem to even really like each other that much. And their conversation's really stilted. Yeah, it's a, we've theorised it's like a... You know when Miranda tells Charlotte to keep drinking, like, take a sip? Yeah. I'm like, that was awful. That's something that a girl at a bar would do and you'd...

That scene contains the single most offensive part of the film, which is when they're discussing... I think robotic part of the film. They're discussing how difficult parentage is and just raising children. And Charlotte makes the observation that they're pretty rich. So she says almost completely down the barrel to the camera, how did the people without help do it?

To which Miranda replies, I have no fucking idea, to them and raises a glass to clink as if that is the like, you know that just forgives all of the awfulness and gaudiness of the rest of the film There was a really good deleted scene immediately after they clink their glasses, they both pick up

magnums of Dom Perignon and pour it on the carpet pour one out for their home is the working class they take out huge pockets full of cash and they put it on top of the dom perignon and then gasoline a lot of gasoline and then it cuts away to the dog humping their leg nothing gets dogs going like meat raffles and burning money. Raw sensual energy. Yeah, I mean, it's just like it feels like a parody and I really liked, I can't, it was actually quite sad to watch because, I mean, I'd heard how bad it was,

but it was just like who let this happen? Like how did Sarah Jessica Parker let this happen? Like I would have, I don't know, it's just so far removed from, I feel, the TV series. Mate, money talks, shit walks. Yeah, man. Do you know how much they were paid to do it? No, but SJP got paid the most because she was an executive producer. The figure $16 million has popped into my head.

I don't know where that's come from. Maybe it's based on nothing. But what I did read is he was in... You go, Becky. No, you go. I was just going to make... I just feel like that's what spurned ISIS on, seeing that film.

You're not the first person to make that observation. Yeah, I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure. But it's like, I see that and I'm like, all right, take my health. I get it. I get why you're decapitating people. There was an article that was making the rounds this week

that a lot of people linked this into which was I think it was the actual so like Sex and the City is based on a series of novels

and then whoever transferred that into the TV version I think they came out somewhat recently in an interview and were like yeah Sex and the City 2

like she's not supposed to get with Big. Like, it wasn't, that was a complete divergence from where the characters were supposed to go. It's not right. It's not what you're supposed to go on. Yeah, I saw that, but I'm also like, yeah, but what you created was fucking 10 years ago. So, like, obviously what you wanted for it,

and, like, you see, you know, if you cede control of the characters. Yeah. Like, it's not. I heard, I heard, i can't remember what podcast i was listening to recently but paul sheer was guesting on oh it was doug loves movies and they were talking about the new star wars film and i can't remember who it was but one of the guests who was on a fellow comic um was fellow to paul sheer and not to me I'm a plebeian was going like this isn't a real Star Wars movie

I love it but it's like a fan fiction because it's made by someone else who isn't George Lucas but it's like shut up so you can interpret this as part of that as well it's like part of the Sex and the City lore but it's not canon

I think that's what fans and if there are any fans of the show listen to podcasts please correct me but i'm pretty sure that a lot of six in the city television fans even enjoyed the first movie just for the you know the the the nostalgia of getting back with your old friends and hanging out i quite enjoyed the first i thought the first movie was um still still a bit extravagant and stuff, but I still enjoyed it somewhat. Yeah.

And then I understand that the second film, a lot of people just don't think of it as part of the canon. It's a whole different thing. They just went out there and made a shit ton of cash. Don't want to be a part of it. If I may delve back into the overwhelming and omnipresent sense of sadness you felt during the movie, Becky. What's another moment that you were moved to tears?

Okay, so when the kids were crying, you know, I felt her frustration. I think, oh, where was there? There was another part. Maybe when she thought that she, after she kissed Aidan and she thought Big was really she kissed aiden and yeah she thought big was really angry at her you know i i teared up a bit because i just remember i know that feeling of being like i fucked up yeah and did you you know as i say this is i'm a bit hungover and

you know the tears are flowing i don't think i don't think a hangover is an excuse for what you say because I feel like often when you're hungover, you might be in a more lucid or less guarded state and so stuff will come out more naturally. Did you feel like that? I get teary. I get teary and I try and go shopping and I end up just holding. I can appreciate that.

Why can't you go shopping if you're hungover? I'm too confused. Like if't you go shopping if you're hungover? I'm too confused. If I go food shopping, I'll come out holding an egg and some strawberry pulp. I don't understand how to do it. You forget the concept of nutrition. Yeah. Anyway. Do you then get really upset at yourself for not being able to nail food shopping anymore?

Yeah. I think, why? Why do you have to have seven pints? The first time I watched, have you seen the film Requiem for a Dream? No. It's just scary. It's like generally considered one of the most

kind of affecting movies about, you know. And I watched that for the first time when I was really hungover on a Sunday morning when I was 17 years old. When you had come down from heroin. That's how it puts you there, right? And because it was the first time I'd seen it and I hadn't heard anything about it, I was totally just exposed.

And because I was hungover, I was especially vulnerable. And I was in his parents' apartment, which was like four floors up, and I got pretty close to just straight jumping off the balcony. Oh, no. I'm just saying like I can sympathize with the emotional state that a hangover can put you in when you're exposed to a piece of media at this kind of length. Requiem for a Dream is considered, you know, one of the best films ever made. So we're not dealing with the same thing here really but this it's kind of like it's getting the same effect but through a different

means this is kind of a brute force attack because it's so long and so pointless that it kind of gets you to the same point of desperation but it's taken a very different path to get there yeah totally like I didn't take anything seriously and it was annoying me, but there were some parts that I was just like, oh, I just want to tear up about that theme anyway and it's just staring at me in the face. It's a good open way of watching a movie. Yeah. Allow yourself, you know.

I just had these big, beautiful camels and colours and the sand, and I was sort of swept away in the magic. That's good, because that's exactly what they were going for. Yeah. So some of it works. You're telling me there's a chance that I can enjoy this movie still. I reckon. Just give it another shot.

Becky Lucas, can I ask you a personal question? Uh, yes. Are you a, um, musical person? Like, do I play music? Or do I listen to it? playing an instrument,

bit of squeed up? No, I don't sing, because my mum used to be a singer and I find singing embarrassing. Ah, so you wouldn't be down with a bit of squeed up? Ba-ba.

Scooby-da-boo-ba. Scooby-da-bee-ba. Scooby-e-da-ba-ba. Scooby-da-boo-ba. Scooby-da-bee-ba. Scooby-da-ba-ba-boo. Scooby-da-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-doo-doo. Scooby-da-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Scooby-da-ba-ba-ba-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo. Scooby-da-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba breaking up. Where's he going? What's he up to?

Sorry, obviously if you're uninitiated as you said, Becky, I'm pretty sure that would have hit you out of the blue. Yeah. Tim was trying to figure out if you're a fan of jazz music Becky what a great audience surrogate you will serve of uh as in this episode of the podcast number 47 to explain a segment where we try to dissect the backstory of a guy who is in um an early portion of the film the gals are having lunch together. They're in a cafe.

Samantha's about to drop a bombshell that they're all going to the Middle East on an all-expenses-paid trip. And if you pay close attention, over their shoulder, there is a man. And he is at a neighboring table in the cafe, and he's ordered a coffee. He comes and he sits down. We see this. We don't see him sitting down. He's already there. But we see the coffee order placed. The coffee arrive

and this guy he's only in the background of frame thrice and in each shot he is just buffing back that coffee. He's going BUNFA! Three times he bunfas and he just finishes his coffee. He stands up, picks up his shit and gets the hell out the door. He downs a coffee faster than anyone has seen in a movie before.

It's incredible. One, two, three, whole cup of coffee down his gullet. Just sculling it. A coffee that is undeniably scalding hot as it has been freshly served. Yeah, right. What do you think would prompt a person, specifically this person, to need to consume that amount of caffeine at that pace and leave with such purpose,

what could possibly this guy be doing and where could he possibly be off to? Could he be avoiding the smell of Samantha's rank moot? Definitely. Let's delve into that. Like, give me more. Paint a picture for me. I've got nothing else. No nothing else no look okay wait uh where could he be going um well let's focus on the initial point that so samantha's so it's an avoidance it's actually there's actually no outside influence it's an

avoidance technique um so he's he's like i've ordered this coffee i'm gonna pay for this coffee look i'm gonna get the i'm you know i'm gonna get value for what i've ordered my face as much as possible to get the aromatic scent in there but so help me god i cannot spend another goddamn second in this cafe with that smell permeating the entire residence yeah basically because she's um i mean the wedding you know she had the wedding and and all of that that and all that vigorous sex. I don't know if she used a condom. She definitely uses a condom, as is revealed in Abu Dhabi. Oh, that's right. She does.

She practices safe sex. I don't know. I feel like she'd have a battered mutt. A battered mutt? Yeah, just after all these years. That is a sensational and brutal turn of phrase. She's been

rooting for 35 years. Like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. More. And, you know, he's very sensitive to that smell because. I just don't get how vigorous sex leads to the smell. I'm curious, why is it so sensitive to the smell?

I don't know. You know, there's an imbalance there, I guess, sexually. Look, I'm not a doctor. I'm not a biologist. We all know this about Tim Baird, but I'm going to throw a theory out there. Is it like, you know how the normal human vagina has the ability to clean itself,

so you don't want to use a whole bunch of soap because it's kind of got a natural mechanism to be able to clean itself. Is it sort of akin to that where the human vagina has the ability to self-repair, but Samantha is just chucking such an unnatural amount of intercourse in and about it. Yeah, the vagina's workload is, he's working on, you know,

12-hour shifts. It's dysfunctional. So she's broken it. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. It's trying to clean itself. Yeah. And it can't.

Yeah, and I reckon there's a scent there and he smelled that and he thought, no thanks. He just came in for some coffee and he didn't need that. No one needs that. And that would explain Charlotte's hesitation as well to go to Abu Dhabi because she's like, well, I don't know. So the other friends, they can smell it, but they're just like, we'll just tolerate it.

She's worth it. I'm pretty sure the trip's going to be done. Carrie used to be a smoker, so she's probably not got as strong a sense of smell. Carrie was a smoker in the series. And what about Charlotte? Charlotte's too polite She's from such an upbringing that you don't talk about damaged moods

No, exactly And Miranda, I don't know She lives in a smelly part of town Miranda's got a DVS And Miranda's son also spends a lot of his time in the sewers She's playing with rats and stuff Smells like rats That's right He does smell like rats also spends a lot of his time in the sewers. Yeah, he's playing with rats and stuff. Smells like rats. That's right.

He does smell like rats. That's exactly right. He keeps like rats. I don't know if you know this about Brady, but he smells a lot like rats and jizz. Exactly. So she can't differentiate. Charlotte's the only one there who can smell it,

and that's why she didn't want to go. I absolutely love your theory Becky I think it's the single most Australian moment we've had on the entire season I'm sorry I've gone really I'm really disgusting now

all my comedy is pretty low Hey Becky we invited Becky Lucas on and we said hey Becky Lucas can you be Becky Lucas for a bit? And you were, and I'm so grateful for it. Thank you, guys. So happy to be here. Thanks for this huge opportunity.

Were there any moments in which you remember, every week Tim and I do something called a shining light, wherein to try and stop ourselves from just raining down in frustration and sort of derision towards the movie, we find a moment that sort of we took joy in, we enjoyed seeing. And it's called a shining light. Was there any moment watching the movie wherein you thought, wow, this is actually, I'm having a good time. That's a good gag or anything.

For instance, I can kick off. I'll give you mine first if you need time to think of one. I'll write it down. I'm just going to quickly find it in my notes. Oh, so Miranda's husband, Steve, who we're all a huge fan of, who eventually actually, after the credits it shows you, it says it in the, you know,

it's like what the characters are doing now. He went on to become Mayor of New York. What? Yeah, pretty impressive. But there's a scene at the wedding where Liza Minnelli is covering single ladies, and it's a shot, I'm pretty confident the shot is probably Miranda talking to someone else,

I think Charlotte or Carrie, who's not in the actual shot. So Steve's sort of just out of focus in the background. Liza Minnelli belting out single ladies with all the verve she can muster. And Steve is just deep in the groove. Can you explain the following as Steve in the first person, please? I'll give you Steve's inner monologue as he hears Liza Minnelli. Thank you. He's like, oh, wow.

Hey, the song's actually pretty good. Oh, would you look at that? Hey, I'm dancing. Dancing. D-A-A-N-S-I-N-G. Dancing. I spelt it. I'm spelling right.

That's pretty much what it looked like to me. Perfect. I love it. I love Steve. We love Steve as well. I'm spelling right. That's pretty much what it looked like to me. Perfect. I love it. I love Steve. We love Steve as well. Salt of the earth. So, yeah, did you have any moments? That's a pretty specific one, obviously.

Yeah, no, that's beautiful. That's awesome. Thanks for that. Oh, God. If I had to pick one. I liked it when I like, see, mine are all sentimental. That's okay, mate. The shining light is whatever you want it to be.

I liked when Carrie and Big were in the hotel watching a movie, but that's just because I like to lie down. That speaks to you. It was like a Netflix and chill. I think he's really cute. Oh, big. Yeah, he's really cute. Oh, big. Yeah, he's so handsome. He went on to lead a church.

Did you know that? He went on to be a preacher. He started a church, the Church of Noah. No way. In real life? He does. That's terrible news. He works the Midwest.

No way. Yeah, he does. He tours. They're televised his sermons They're pretty interesting He's a pretty out of it guy What sort of handsome does he kind of like Is that traditionally handsome do you reckon?

Yeah I think so I think most girls would find Mr Big handsome He looks like Conservatively he's in his at least early 50s In the film It's a bit of a gap between where becky lucas is i mean mr big yeah i like older men so for any listeners out there hit me up on twitter for you if your name's steve and you've got an avatar of just one eye

hiding your cargo pants reach out to me i'm into it hiding your cargo pants. Reach out to me. I'm into it. Becky's looking for a father figure and she's not looking too far. Nope. Go on forward. Yeah, I don't know. Probably that.

There are a few. I mean, there are a few. I just find it. I mean, the jokes are always so. If they make a joke, they make such a big deal about it. You know what I mean, there are a few, I just find it, I mean, the jokes are always so, if they make a joke, they make such a big deal about it. You know what I mean? Yeah, absolutely. If one of them makes a joke, they all have to pause

and recognise that they've made a joke. It's all very scripted. There's a little brouhaha which has spilled over from just being contained on the podcast onto our Facebook page and online. There's a joke where Charlotte falls off the camel, hitches her pants back up to get back on it, but she gives herself a wedgie, and Miranda says you're having a little sand wedge.

And basically Guy and I have been battling to decide whether or not it counts as a joke just in general terms like if it meets the criteria because it is a double entendre in that it has two meanings yeah but it's also like why like there were no sandwiches you weren't at lunch that's right okay you've just put two words together that sound that. That's right. They both have to have application. And moreover, to anyone, which is some of you, reaches out and says, no, sandwich like a golf club because you play it from the sand.

Golf clubs are as useless as sandwiches in this situation. There's no reference. And yes, TWIOAT subreddit, we're looking at you when this was discussed. Why wouldn't they say something like a camel toe? Or like she gave herself a reverse camel toe. You know what I mean? They do kind of try to get into that.

So SJP lays down. It looks like, honey, you've got an actual camel camel toe. I'll abide. I didn't hear that. That's a joke. That's fine. But then they just overplay it with the sand wedge thing. Yeah, and then I think what specifically speaks to what you were saying, Becky,

is the laughter that they give that joke, that awful, awful, nonsensical double entendre. It's like Charlotte has brought the house down with that gag. It killed. Yeah. And it just really shakes me every week. The disproportionate response it receives, that's the thing that really gets you.

I'm trying to remember what my shining light was. Your shining light. You said it was, you couldn't believe that you hadn't had it before. Yeah, I know. Every week, it's your favorite part of the movie. I know. What was it? It involves Chris Nowith watching Deadliest Catch

Oh yes that's right it's so good it's one of those things where you're just like, if you have been in a relationship, you don't necessarily have to relate to it in terms of you've done it or it's happened to you, but just the hilarity of

doing it in terms of you've done it or it's happened to you but just the hilarity of doing it in general he um so she he's got deadly's catch on for a tv that he ostensibly bought for her on their anniversary of their marriage to say hey remember that great time we had watching a film in the hotel that black and white movie was so romantic i got us a tv for the bedroom so we can recreate that he's watching deadly's catch in the wake of going out to a hollywood event with her for the premiere of the film um where he got hit on by uh i always forget her name penelope cruz and she sjp got a bit shirty and grabbed him and yanked him out of there and they went home and she said she so they're getting she's getting dressed for bed and he's already in bed watching Deadliest Catch. And she goes, it's a little loud.

And he goes, you thought it was funny when the gay guy hit on me at the wedding. And it's just every week I'm like, yes, big. You are grabbing that hand grenade, pulling the pin, throwing it at your new wife and just waiting. Just waiting for the explosion. You know that you're starting shit. You know you're lighting the fuse and you're just prepared to fucking play the ball and that's what makes him that's why he's so attractive he's attractive he's a high-powered stock market broker he you know he's playing the

share market he's got big balls he's got big balls and he's got big ideas huge ideas he's full of them he actually uh he has in his becky i don't know if you know it's in his office you know that big tower where he's got screens and no keyboards he's got this big book full of all of his ideas he's a bit of he fancies himself an entrepreneur a philosopher uh and so each week we open up the book and we sort of swipe through the pages and see what exactly Mr. Big is cooking up and how's he going to make the next million. Yeah, his latest scheme.

And appropriately, I feel, as our guest, if you wouldn't mind doing the honors of looking through the book and seeing what Mr. Big's cooking up this week. Okay, do I just pretend to look through this book obviously There's no pretending going on here You know, grab the book Give it a thumb through

Okay, his next big idea Toilets in bedrooms Yes Yes Yes toilets in bedrooms. Yes. Yes. Yes. That checks perfectly with his character as well. He's the sort of guy,

when he gets into a Deadliest Catch marathon, he doesn't want to have to go far. I'm not missing a second of this. I've got to take a shit. Wait a minute. That hot business idea we're talking about. Deadliest Catch is what he calls his dump. I don't even know if that's's Is that a non-joke? Is that like a sandwich joke?

No, no Sounds like one I like that Where is he putting these toilets in the bedroom? Are they regulation toilets? Or is he building them into beds or dresses? Yeah, I just reckon like beside a dresser or something I've often wanted a toilet in my bedroom Isn't that disgusting? Heads or dresses or? Yeah, I just reckon like beside a dresser or something.

I've often wanted a toilet in my bedroom. Isn't that disgusting? Do you think it lends itself to a happy marriage? Or do you think that some things are still sacred no matter how long you're with your partner and that maybe you should take a shit in solitude? I think that I would personally not like to do it in front of them. But I reckon he would be marketing it to like a lonely single guy who finishes a pizza in bed, feels the urge at 2am,

doesn't have to go to the bathroom, doesn't have to walk past his housemates. Just, yeah, some sort of schlubby bachelor who doesn't even, can't even muster the motivation to. He's just like an earthworm he just eats, lays in bed shits that's his market

that's such a grim picture you've painted I've got him in my head like I can see he's got like he hasn't shaved in ages but he doesn't have like a nice beard it kind of comes in thick at the neck and thin on the face he's a little overweight, he hasn't have like a nice beard it kind of comes in thick at the neck and thin on the face he's a little overweight he hasn't seen like a sunlight in some time

he does something with computers got a ponytail and one little patch of the ponytail is dyed blue oh my brutal fucking brutal but i'll tell you what Very profitable segment of the population They've got money to burn There's so many of them Their only real expenditure is Wow Getting a good internet connection for World of Warcraft And pizza

And a Netflix subscription And do you know what no sunlight and a diet of pizza will lead to? Just constant shitting Irregular bowel movements And that's where Mr Big steps in Remove to. Just constant shitting. Irregular bowel movements. And that's where Mr. Big steps in. Remove the risk from your shitting life by installing a toilet in your bedroom. Oh, imagine.

Tired of running five meters from your bed to the toilet and getting shit all over your ankles and the floor? Well, fear no more. We've reduced the gap to one meter. I'm trying to float like a catchy name for a toy lads toilet hands like a toilet for lads yeah that's pretty good but no we'll bet you're missing out on half your half the population there because becky you said you'd like a toilet in your room so this is a exactly what about women i'm sick of this masculine dominance. We live in a patriarchy.

Toilets in the bedroom are for everyone. Exactly. You're all equally shit. Lazy turd? Like a lazy boy? Yeah, lazy turd. It's great. Go with that.

There we go. Trademark there. I wonder how that one's going to go for him. I wish I hadn't picked it. I feel I've been very disgusting on this podcast. You've just represented your country so well. That's all I'm getting from this podcast. I'm sorry.

I'm not usually like this. Can I ask you, and this isn't even a regular thing we delve into, but was there a bit of watching the movie that stood out to you as being the the worst bit or just a real fucking low light where you were watching it and you're like oh this is just the absolute pits um oh probably the bit with the nick nick wab is it a nick wab where she's where nick wab hashtag decal your nick wab can you explain that shot yeah just sarah jessica parker pretending to be um like i i don't mind this one but that one i just it just it just freaks me out

it was just so like i just because i just know that girl that says that when she's doing like and so she's in a foreign land and she's like hey things are different here yeah and it's like the only time they connect with the women is when those women wear really expensive clothes it's funny you choose that as a benchmark for specifically the worst part of the movie

because that's the part the movie specifically revisits as like a bookend at the end when she does the final monologue and she's like i think of um marriage like that lady with the veil in that country i went to one time you have to take the tradition and decorate it your way which is uh decal your knee quab which if you just hear that sentence is a much more efficient way of learning the lesson taught by Sex and the City 2. That's the moral. It should be called Sex and the City 2

Decal Your Knee Quab. That should be the subtitle of the film, actually. Yeah. The whole movie should... I wonder if the movie got released in Abu Dhabi. Do you know the funny thing is... That would be very interesting. So they would all get up to shoot it

in Abu Dhabi, and then Abu Dhabi whatever, government, read the script and they were like, this is too Very interesting. So they would all get up to shoot it in Abu Dhabi and then Abu Dhabi whatever government read the script and they were like, this is too sexualised and they had to shoot it in Morocco. Yeah, right. That's interesting. Isn't it? Isn't it just? You mean?

I mean, fair enough. Absolutely. Hey, before you go, Becky, we do have one final thing, which is imperative for you to do, and I feel like the timing couldn't be better because this comes specifically after you've spoken of all the problems with the film. But for a moment, we need you,

and you barely even need to imagine this because it's pretty much happened now. Tim and I are big swinging executives. We've got a shitload of cash to burn and we're looking for a movie and you in your hot little hand the pitch for Sex and the City 2 3?

Or 2? 2. So this is to get this film made. How do you think it went down? How did it go down? And remember Tim and I are in charge here and you are really keen to get this thing over the line um i reckon they close the pitch with fuck the middle east well first of all uh becky is it it's a pleasure to meet you my name's tim this is my associate guy he doesn't talk much so just ignore him look we've got okay sorry we're doing a role play shit ton of money and basically we're looking for the next project to greenlight,

which is going to make us all filthy fucking rich. I hear good things about you. Seen you on Twitter burning it up. Thanks very much. Hit it up, Becky Lucas. Wait, what's happening? Are we doing a role play or what's going on? We sure are.

We are, okay. It doesn't really feel like a role play to me. This is the real thing, Becky. You might want to get your shit together and tell me what kind of movie I want to make because this money is burning a fucking hole in my pocket. I don't talk often and when I do, I say what I think. Go.

All right, it's for women. I like it. They hate the Middle East. They have heaps of money. Come on, boy. They have two gay friends. They love their gay best friends. Good.

It's a hot demo. The pink dollar is hot right now. Exactly. You've got gays. We haven't got a black guy. We will show, we'll have Liza Minnelli playing. No, we don't.

We don't have, we just can't fit them in. Oh, don't worry. We'll still get an Oscar for it. Help. That's very good. They, oh God, I don't know.

Okay, so lots of colors. Colors I like. Diamonds, sparkles. Got it. You know that song that was really popular in the first one? We're bringing it back. Cool. Didn't see the first one.

Well, it was awesome. Hey, Becky. Yeah. Guy Montgomery, Hotshot executive over here. You're describing a lot of visual elements, but I'm really struggling to get a vivid idea of what exactly is happening in this film. So far, I've got four women, two gay guys

going on a rampage through the Middle East. Lots of colours. I like it. And diamonds and money. For a bit, they're not sure if they're going to go, but then they do. They decide they're going to go. Conflict.

And everyone's fine with it. Everyone's fine with it. They've got a week in their schedules free. That's hard to find. They're busy people. Exactly. And then Carrie wears a big hat. She wears a really interesting hat into first class,

and there's a bit of a joke there. And gosh, yeah, there's, you know, there's tones of adultery and, you know, marriage. Oh, saucy. I like it. Exactly. It's all about, you know, cheating, what it takes to make a marriage work. Long lost loves our shoes. Hey, I got a proposition for you my grandson's just started up

a business where he uh he makes puppets of dogs and he puts them he rubs them up with pheromones and puts them in pillows and gets a dog to fuck it do you think you could write a scene in yeah man we can fit that in we can fit that in for sure that's great i really want to help him get this thing off the ground i mean it's a fucking ridiculous idea, but I love the kid. Hey, listen, Becky Timbate chiming in here. I've recently gotten into a fairly contentious business deal with M&M's. Now, I know this is a specific request, but do you think that you could... Sorry, I said M&M's, I meant Pringles.

There's a lot of deals, a lot of balls in the air at the moment. Do you think you could get a shot of me? I need, on the plane, Pringles, but in the Arabic language. Is that doable? Could we put that in the script somewhere? Yeah, that plus any other brands you want to put in. We're all about sort of brand management. Becky Lucas, Guy Montgomery here, Big Dick Executive.

Say no more. If you're willing to make these concessions for us, the story will write itself. Don't worry about it. Absolutely. And I promise you this is going to be a great film. I'm going to ignore that you interrupted me there. Big Dick executive Tim Batt here with a huge wanger

and a proposition for you. I've just signed a business deal with Birkin Handbags. Do you think you could sneak one in there somewhere? Yes. Anything. Excellent. Well. Excellent. Well, congratulations. How much money would you like?

$200 million. Done. Great. I can't wait to create this masterpiece. This odyssey. It's for women. It's for women. It's for little girls watching.

It's for men who aren't sure where they fit into the whole feminist movement. And, yeah. It sounds flawless. I can't fault it. There's no seams on this idea. It's seamless. It's like a perfect circle. It's endorsed by, we can promise Beyonce at the premiere.

Well, look, it's been great meeting you, but please get the hell out of my office, all right? I got Jim Carrey coming in hot and heavy with the Dumb and Dumber 3 pitch coming, like, right now. Thank you so much for your time. Not a problem. Way to go, Becky. You totally just got that film greenlit.

And I reckon you probably did an even better job than what they did with the pitch. Yeah, I reckon. You know, the thing is to not, don't go in there scared. Yeah. Don't go in there scared. I hear you.

I hear you. You want to be confident. I'm not scared of you guys. We're going to wrap this thing up. We're going to put a bow on it, put a pin on it, chuck a button on it. Yeah.

Hey, Becky, it's been a real goddamn joy talking to you. You too, guys. It's good to catch up. Yeah, it was. Are you guys going to be in Melbourne? Yeah, we're coming over for the festival. Yeah, great.

I'll see you there. Very exciting time. If people found you entertaining, which I'm almost 100% certain they just have, where can they find you on the internet? I've got Twitter. You can go Becky underscore Lucas 89. Love Twitter. Big time. Love Twitter. Yeah, that's probably my name. I've got Twitter you can go Becky underscore Lucas 89 love Twitter

big time love Twitter and yeah that's probably my name I don't have Facebook or anything do you do do you do photos

oh yeah I have Instagram I've been doing that a bit good lols do you get some good lols out of Instagram no I'm more into

making my life look good I try and be yeah I don't I'm more into making my life look good. I try and be... Yeah, I'm not that funny on Instagram. You're more interested in portraying a glamorous rock and roll comedian lifestyle. Yeah. I'm more of a wordsmith, you know? I'm not a shutterbug. Love it.

Becky underscore Lucas 89. Tim Batheer, Big Dick love it uh becky underscore lucas 89 tim bat here big dick executive thank you um because i didn't say thank you to you before it's it's been awesome you've been a delight thanks oh you guys super aussie yes i'm sorry about all that no no no never apologize um i'd like to take this opportunity to thank again big pipe brawl band we love them you them, go to bigpipe.co.nz and if you're going to sign up, use the code WORST and it reflects well on us I feel like a broken record at this point but I don't know

how many god damn times I've got to explain to you people how good this service is if you sign up with Big Pipe, they have no throttling, they don't have any henchmen no one comes around to your house breaks down the door starts shaking you by the neck it's just not done

there's an anti-Brady big pipe big poop and also just quickly we're coming to America very soon hopefully we'll be able to release the details of our final

podcast for Sex and the City 2 it'll be on March 3rd, somewhere in New York City. We'll put all the information on the Facebook page. I am so looking forward to ending this. Oh, my God. Fucking tell me about it. This is terrible. But, Becky, it was great to talk to you.

Thanks, guys. You too. Bye, mate. See you later. It's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea of all time it's the worst idea of all time it's the worst idea of all time season two