The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Forty Six - Shrunken Heads

Episode Date: June 28, 2017

The boys are back in town after an accidental hiatus which Timbo feels strongly about puncishing the pair for. Guybly is back from the hot, hot soil of West Australia and not thrilled to be back in front of our 4 FuckBoiz. However, THE EXPERIMENT MUST CONTINUE. Lots of math chatter, incorrect identification of the origin and use of shruken heads and hot tips on how to stay warm on a cold winter's night! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today. You ready? Okay, let's go. The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer. Everybody run! Ends here. This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands. Now playing.

You gonna play that dastardly intro again? Try, try, try, try, try, try, try. Ow! This movie's still fun. There's a colleague, a pastor One of them dies, that guy's screw One of them's a hothead, his name is Jay One of them looks like Johnny Depp

And his name is Johnny Depp Classic Maximum Joseph I agree! Ah! You forget that films are supposed to have a point Do what you're gonna do What you're gonna do when the music comes for you. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Hello and welcome to the worst idea of all time. Back in the studio with two brave boys watching. We are your friends for the 45th time. Is that right, 45th? I would actually pronounce it as umpteenth, Tim. Yeah. I don't know exactly what number umpteenth represents, but it feels like that number of times.

Alternatively, the nth time. Yeah. You ever heard that? The nth, that number of times. Alternatively, the nth time. Yeah. You ever heard that? The nth, to the nth degree. To the nth time. Hey, Guy, it's so good to have you back here. We've been hashtag bad boys. Bad, bad, bad, bad boys.

You make me feel so good. You make me feel so good. Bad boys do make you feel good, but also they'll break your heart. They absolutely will. Kick them out of there. Yeah. Guy went to Western Australia for a little bit, and he was hard to track down.

He was off the grid. He was doing a little outback. What do they call it? Gone walkabouts. Yeah. No, walkabout. Yeah. No S on that.

I went, oh, that's the end of the DVD. You know how it ends in the middle of that song. Abruptly ended. Oh, the heater's on. Yeah, respect to the heater. Shout out to the heater for keeping us warm on these cold winter days Man this place is insulated And you can tell until you put the heater on Oh no well you're dead right it is insulated

But I reckon this room traps heat way better than you would think Yeah yeah it does trap it The heat is held captive It's held in here Like we were by the film. I was in West Australia, Tim, and yes, I was difficult to contact at certain times. There's a four-hour time difference.

It's a very frustrating amount of time. Okay, here's the thing. To be between two people. This heater... Do you want me to get it? ...has a mechanism where if it's not on a flat surface, it'll turn off. So if I can find something heavy enough to knock it over,

we don't have to get up out of our chairs. Oh, I can really just get up. That's really heavy. Hold on. Oh, shit. I went too high. You know what? What else can I throw?

Oh, this bourbon bottle. I smashed that. This empty bourbon bottle. You know what, Tim? If it's bothering you so... Your headphones are going to... That's going to be an issue. Let me unplug you.

We're off to a flyer. What I'd like to say to you is this. Yeah, yeah. I apologize to Tim. Yep. For being difficult to contact. I know that you were busy. You were very busy, Tim.

You've got a TV show to worry about now. You're a different man. You're a changed man. I leave, you're one person. I come back, you're another. I barely recognize you. Oh, come on, mate. I haven't changed.

No, it's still the same old spindly, timbly, wimply. It's that snappy haircut. I just can't get enough of it. Come on, Flash. It's just the boys. That's all. No one's changed. Everything's the same.

You keep referring to yourself in plural now. We just had a little, we just had a little, no, I'm referring to the two of us, you know? It's your boys. Yeah, that's what I'm worried about. You keep saying boys. Yeah, you and me, you and I. Oh, I see. You and I together. to the two of us you know it's it's yeah that's what i'm worried about you keep saying boys yeah you and me you and i oh i see you and i together two boys two brave boys watching a film we just had an unscheduled hiatus and uh sorry about that it's pretty crazy though i think that's the

longest we've gone um dropping the ball we haven't let international travel slow us down before but tell you what that's the austral Outback for you, isn't it? Oh, it's just, it's a place of wild animals and wild people too. I've got to tell you, some of the characters I came across in my travels over West Australia. Real quick, could you tell me about three of these Australian characters you found in the Outback? With pleasure.

The first, a friendly man by the name of Trevor. Yes. He was, you know, 50 years old if he was a day And he just, he kept offering me candy I said, man, I'm in the bush, I don't need candy, I need water He said, we keep the water and candy out here, boy Keep the water in the candy Yeah, but they didn't

He just thought that candy was a water source He was the sickest man I've ever seen Did you eat any of the candy? Yeah Okay You had to if you want to stay hydrated. So the water was in the candy? Well, no.

It's just the only thing that they had access to. Yeah, okay. I gotcha. Who was another character that you met out in the bush? A lady named Magda. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Used to work as a housekeeper over New York City way.

I see. Just wound up wandering around out there. Sandals, pants, a shirt, you know, real regular clothing. Did Magda sound vaguely Russian from memory? I wouldn't want to. I knew a Magda once at one point. Yeah? Yeah, she was a housekeeper.

Kind lady? She seemed okay, but I think she had a lot going on, you know, secretly. A lot of plans. A lot of plans? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. That sounds troubling. What gave you that sense?

Just shifty eyes, mainly. A lot of whispering to herself. So a nice lady, but did you trust her? No. Definitely no trust. But nice lady, though. Who was another character you met out in the Australian Outback? Flash?

I met a lady who drove a van i can't remember her name van van woman well she drove me around in the van for a while i'll tell you that you know what you should call her van morrison that's what that's what i'd name you that's what people should call their van they should name their van just morrison morrison is very good that someone's got to be doing that oh there's people out there doing all sorts of shit i'm sure that's one of the things do you ever. People out there are doing all sorts of shit. I'm sure that's one of the things. Do you ever think people out there are doing everything you can think of? So why do anything? Yeah, exactly.

Just stay indoors. Don't venture out because everyone's done it all. Stay indoors and watch everyone else achieving the ideas that you're too afraid to have. This is not a drill person listening. Stay indoors. Yeah. It's time to shut it down and lock yourself away. I don't know if you can hear that but the nuclear alarm is sounding here in Auckland, New Zealand.

Yeah, it's a scary place out there. And that alarm isn't just for us. It's for the entire globe of the world of Earth. You know, I hate that they put the siren in this city. I hate it so much. I said it's so far away. You should want something more central, surely. It's bloody silly.

We're in the bottom of the Earth. There's only like, how many of us? Four and a half mil. There's a lot of people out there. Chuck it in America. Put're in the bottom of the earth. There's only like, how many of us? Four and a half mil. There's a lot of people out there. Chuck it in America. Put it in New York City. You know, somewhere important. Put it anywhere.

Somewhere less densely populated. If it's that loud that everyone's going to hear it. Chuck it in Antarctica. Yeah. Somewhere out of the way. Honestly, they put it on our town hall. Just total disregard for the city planning. Just dropped it right on top of the town hall.

The mayor was still in there. The mayor was still in. The prime minister, he wanted it though. Spent a lot of money to get that siren. Thought it would bring in tourists. Didn't think it through. Not a smart man. Absolutely not.

He's a dummy. They said it would create labor. Get rid of him. Yeah, the real labor of having to listen to that bloody siren going off all the time. He's not wrong, ladies and gentlemen. The new, yeah, look. But let's not worry about that right now.

No, I'm worried about this film, to be honest. It's getting away on us. Tell you that. Hey, do you want to know something, though? You told me something that I want to abuse. You gave me a bit of a blank check while we were watching the film. You said, you know what, when we did this podcast, I'm going to get him behind. I'm going to agree with you.

I did not say that. I said, I'm going to fuel your fire, Tim. So do you know what I want to say? I'm chucking a penalty on us for our slovenly behavior this last couple of weeks. I'm penalizing us. I feel like you're abusing a conversational loophole. Nah, not at all. It's called seizing an opportunity.

Carpe diem ever heard of it yeah I have seize the day and I am thanks for asking that was not a question I'm penalising us up to an even 60 views for this season an even what in fucks name

do you think you're doing plus 8 you didn't see that coming did you I really zagged on you I'm so against that we've done such a good job Do you think you're doing? Plus eight. You didn't see that coming, did you? I really zagged on you. Absolutely not. Oh, I'm so against that. We've done such a good job of staying on track and staying on schedule that it needs this bears acknowledgement and the punishment has to fit the crime. No, that is something.

Plus eight. That has to be agreed upon before time. Not at all. Plus one or two, sure. Plus eight. But eight? Yeah, yeah. 55 is a more satisfying number than 60.

A cheeky 10 half does this. What's 11 times five? 55. Oh, I love it. Oh, you tricked me. Yeah. No, I'm putting my foot down here, guy. No one knows how to get to 60.

No one can multiply that high. Five times me. Yeah. No, I'm putting my foot down here, guy. No one knows how to get to 60. No one can multiply that high. 5 times 12. 55. I don't know, man. Wait, what? The cap for guesses I have, the highest number I can go to is 55. Really? What did you get up to on your multiplications times tables?

11 times 5. And then no more. Well, sure. And then I tried 5 times 12. 55. I always struggled with the 12 times table, actually. It was real doo And then no more. Well, sure. And then I tried five times 12. 55. I always struggled with the 12 times table, actually. It was real doozy, that one. I mean, it was virtually impossible for me.

One through nine. Pretty good. There's a few tricks in there for young players. Nine's always my favorite because what you do there is you add up the two digits and it gives you nine all the time. The nine times tables. You go like nine times six. 55. No, 54. 55 equals 10. Oh, 54 55 equals 54 yeah yeah that's how you do that so you just get the number and then you subtract one so if it's

nine times six you go what's one less than six five and then how do you get to nine chuck a four on 54 you can do it with all of them that's how nine works yeah that's crazy eight you've got to memorize all of them that's what i don't like about eight. But at least they're even numbers. Give me a times table. I'll do it right now. Six, six. 36. Seven times nine.

55. Nah. Seven times nine. 55. No. So you go seven minus one is six. And how do you get to nine? Whack a three on it.

So it's 63. 55. I told you the highest number I can answer is 55 oh i forgot that bit hey um yeah so what'd you think of the movie well tim i'll tell you what i thought of the movie i saw with a mere 15 watches to go now i saw nothing inside of that movie which made me think that we should watch it eight more times than we fucking agreed here was guy after not having seen the movie for at least probably 10 days, I'd say at minimum. He walked, he paced around this tiny little room we've got like a prisoner inside a jail cell.

And then just sat down in his chair facing the opposite direction of the screen, engaging me in conversation. And I was talking to Guy but watching the screen at the same time. And it took me about five or six minutes to realize you weren't even looking i was watching i was watching you were tuned out i was watching the reflection in your beautiful irises well this is why i've had to slap a penalty on us mate because you're taking the piss i just think this project's integrity matters you know this is why the people are on board that and because it's it's it's uh you know it's just a good time no man like it's just when i watched the movie then i was like it's got it's one of the first things i said to you the problem with it it's sad or not sad i said i miss watching

people cashing a check and what i mean by that is i miss in grown-ups to in sex in the city to watching cynical acting. I miss watching people who are just doing what is required of them so they can get that money, they can get out of there, they can make their passion projects. This is someone's passion project. It feels like it, doesn't it? It feels like someone cared.

No, like everyone probably took pay cuts. And by everyone, I mean Somaly, Zayce Fron, and James Reid from The Feelers. James Reid from The Feelers, I can't imagine, had a whole lot going on, though. When I was channel serving in hotels, he always showed up on every other movie channel and something which looked vaguely watchable but completely missable. He's like that, though. He's had a career. Tom Hanks is a man who's picked his movies very carefully and well.

And I would venture to bet. Well, you know who chooses them for him? Who? Wes Bentley. No. Yeah, that's why it eats Wes up inside, that he can't. Oh, that sucks. It's that old thing, though, isn't it?

You can never take your own medicine. You're always the best critic of someone else's work, not your own. Oh, man. So true. It's a truism that I've just laid upon the podcast what do you think of it you can't take your own medicine yeah is that is that out there i don't know in circulation or do you just say it then just said it just put it out there i mean i think i'm kind of uh adapting that saying uh how would you like a taste of your own medicine you know that kind of thing

very well very much so no the point is is people have no impact on me no it's like so what the saying is is it's all about you just told me i can't take my own medicine yeah and now you're offering me a taste yeah exactly so it's like the thing that you dish out to other people you can't take yourself you know i just feel like you're flip-flopping yeah i hear you you need to see more than metaphor unless the literal words that i'm putting out there though so the medicine's not medicine what is it it's it's like you i don't know your behavior your treatment your words you can't take your own words just doesn't have as good a ring to it does it no it's not quite the same here's my shining light for this watch with a mere 15

watches to go now it was a bartender i've never noticed who was behind zach efron when we first meet both the wonderful somali and the less wonderful james red from the feelers and that bartender is on screen for i would estimate second and a half and he is doing that thing you do when you taste a cocktail that you've made by putting the straw in putting your finger over the top of it thus creating a kind of vacuum suction thing and then you grab it out and you whack her in your mouth and you taste it and you go is this mixed right is this the right amount of vermouth did it look like he'd mixed the cocktail correctly yeah he looked happy with what he'd made did he smile he did well yeah he looked happy with what he'd made. Did he smile? Yeah, he did. Well, yeah, he looked happy.

I think he smiled. Yeah? Did he get the same service? No, you don't. What was he mixing? Hard to say, but if I could venture a bet, a martini, hence the vermouth. They put vermouth in a martini? Yeah, it's just vermouth and then the other thing,

which can sometimes be gin and sometimes be vodka. Yeah. That's too much. Definitely. It's actually, here's the tricky thing about martinis. Everyone thinks they're being very suave and sophisticated when they're ordering them because it's what James Bond drinks. But the secret is they're disgusting.

Yeah. Because it's nothing but vermouth which is a liqueur and gin or vodka which is also just more alcohol you wouldn't go into a bar say give me a cocktail glass full of cold gin yeah and i better have some vermouth to water it down yeah exactly that would be crazy but you call it a martini you dress it up and they put a little orange peel in it and suddenly you're're James Bond working for MI6. Give me a cup of gin, watered down with some vermouth, and could you please put an olive in my drink?

I'm the most disgusting person in the world. I'm here on Her Majesty's Secret Service. I want you to give me a disgusting vomit drink, please. I tell you, that spied James Bond is no good. I get my tuxedos from Savile Row and my drinks from the gutter of alcoholics. I just put some liqueur in with some other liqueur and then put basically what you would put in compost on top. And it makes it classy, see. Do you like olives?

You know, I can take or leave an olive. It depends on the context. Love them in a pizza, but you can definitely go too far with them. If I order olives for the table, will you have some of the olives? Yeah, I will. Okay, great. I like the green ones. Is it called a pimento olive if they're stuffed?

Is that what that is? Do you know what I'm talking about? Sure thing, man, yeah. Do you like an olive? Yeah, I like olives. I like them plenty, sure. Now, some people, and by some people I mean my fiancée Zoe, really loves an olive.

And she'll have them with capers as well, like on a pizza, so the whole thing will just be like the saltiest thing you've ever eaten. Is that to your taste? Is that to your palate? Capers and olives at the same time. It's not something I crave, but... You know the old saying, olives and capers never wavers.

Capers and olives. Wait, capers and olives better add scallops. Because it is another salty food, but less so. So it sort of waters it down, you see. Yeah, I didn't know that saying. I'm sure it will come as news to some of our listeners as well. It's a very well-known idiom.

When some people have coriander or cilantro, it tastes like poison. No, it's soap, not poison. What is soap but poison you clean your body with? I guess that's true Oh that's deep isn't it Yeah you can't You wanna know why Because it's wrong

What you can't eat it Hey You can Yeah no Well you shouldn't I mean you can Well sure you can eat anything Yeah

But you can't eat Yeah no but the thing is With poison is that You definitely can't eat poison I mean soap's not gonna taste great But no Yeah Okay You know what i've done i can see where my argument falls i've taken uh the instruction that you gave me which was a blank check you said tim i'm going to come in real hot and heavy i'm going to support you on this and i went cool i'm going to go the other way with it

i'm going to abuse your support and question everything you say yeah i would also like to argue uh while i said that during the movie I have not been supportive of some of the ideas expressed in this recording of the worst idea of all time. It's too late baby, it's out there, the stamp's on it. Is it good to be back with our friends though? Are we still friends?

It has to have both types of saliva on the stamp. The adhesive requires both types of saliva for it to stick the stamp is not stuck all right well then i changed the question are you and i still friends uh i like to think so yes and are we still friends with the boys uh friendly certainly on talking terms i find it very difficult to hold grudges did you have any fallings out this week uh no and this is what i'm going to say time and

time again these guys have disappointed me i know they've proven themselves to be bad friends uh and yet every week when i see them i show up with the same sort of although with trepidation now certainly uh an energy which says hey guys maybe this time We'll get him in the next one. We'll get him this time. Yeah. But time and again, you know, I am greeted with the same tepid reception and the same, you know, sort of treatment and... Are you sick of it, mate? Are you getting a bit over it? Yeah, yeah. Your wits end?

A little bit, yeah. You have the end of your tether? Yeah. Yeah, man. My witten tether run out at exactly the same time. That's so... Isn't that weird? You know that saying, how long's the end of your tether. Yeah, yeah, man. My wit and tether run out at exactly the same time. Isn't that weird? You know that saying, how long's a piece of string? Yeah.

It's as long as your wit. Yeah. Or tether, in my instance, also. You can use either. They're interchangeable. That's not true for everyone. I will say this to you, Tim. I did enjoy the movie once this week.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Please. And that was when we caught out one of our party-going frat boy douchebags, not one of the friends, but one of the sort of slightly more yo-pro seeming douche, douches. Was it the man who likes music?

I love music. No, it was his friend, actually. Oh, yeah. Who I've always thought looks like some sort of rower from a New Zealand high school. Isn't he an interesting looking man? Yeah. He's got a face that's not quite...

There's something's happening on that face. It's the face of someone who couldn't think of enough things to talk about, so started exercising a little bit extra. Yeah. And now it's like his head doesn't fit in his body proper, because you can't bulk up a head, but you can bulk up a body. That's right. It's the perfect visual metaphor that his head doesn't quite, know what is it fit on his body yeah yeah it's a

bit too small for it now um used to be fine if he just had it chilled out a little bit it would have been fine and you can see he's lacking a spark because he he runs an equation for his friend after speaking with somally who they sort of i think insinuate that they agree is very attractive uh so they get up and they go to the kitchen for a private conversation and he says Somaly, who they sort of, I think, insinuate that they agree is very attractive. So they get up and they go to the kitchen for a private conversation. And he says, who was that? Somaly. Or he calls her Sophie, but, you know, potato, potato.

Sophie Somaly. He says, Somaly, she was in my year at college. No. She was in my dorm. No, she was in my year at, oh, what was that? She was in my year at college. She was in my dorm. No, she was in my year at... Oh, what was it? She was in my year at law school at college. This isn't important. Every guy in my dorm saw her tits.

I never did, personally. Wish I had. Wish I had. And we got bogged down in the detail of the quote there. What I'm trying to point out to you is that, kind sir, if every dude in your dorm saw her tits, as you say, then how could you not have seen her tits if you lived in your dorm, which I assume you did because you say it's your dorm.

It's a paradox. Yeah. Isn't it? It is. Wait, did you say this was the rest of that was enigma by the way just if anyone's wondering um did you say this was your shining light of the movie no i just said i enjoyed it i enjoyed uh spoiling it i thought you were trying to find another way of going this is my shining light oh it wasn't you're just giving us bonus bits of enjoyment

good on you it's not a bonus a bonus would suggest today you ready okay let's go the hunt for the wildest movie of the summer everybody ends here this is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately borderlands now playing there was already some built-in enjoyment that was the sole moment of enjoyment well we've got to have another one if that's not your shining light though you know what i'm saying yeah yeah really done the dirty on myself there yeah uh what else did i enjoy there was one moment when i saw i don't know if it's worthy of was shining light, I saw some rope when Zicoli's on his phone at the music festival. He's standing next to a bit of rope.

Okay. You can do a lot with a rope. Tell me where was the rope in shot? Was it like on a fence? He was standing up. He was looking down in his LA singlet, embarrassingly, that he was wearing in Las Vegas. I think it was on he's facing us and it's on his

right hand side so next to his right bicep was a good bit of rope but just lying on the ground or was it no no it was it was either

it was either like fencing off an area sort of thing no fencing off an area like probably tying down a banner that was flying overhead like to a pole

I see I mean I couldn't see the knots that were used but I I was into it okay a bit of rope yeah I see I mean I couldn't see the knots that were used But I I was into it Okay A bit of rope

Yeah Just a lovely bit of rope Yeah Okay Well It's something isn't it It's something Now it's time to find out

What's being hidden by cardboard Wrapped by Apple In Getting Sentimental With James Reid Apple in Getting Sentimental with James Reed Guy, are you familiar with the concept of Native American shrunken heads?

No, Tim Well, I'm not either and now I feel like I've put myself on very dicey territory because I don't really know what I'm talking about but I think it's certain Native cultures which might, about but I think It's certain native cultures Which might now that I think about it For another hot minute might not even be native

American cultures but some indigenous people Somewhere who had like Shrunken heads of their chieftains I think It was sort of like a mark of respect If you died and you're an important person They would I guess Like dehydrate your head maybe and kind of Like a mummification process

I've got to tell you Yeah That sounds very disrespectful To dehydrate To dehydrate To dehydrate Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking To dehydrate someone you respect's head

Yeah Immediately after they die But it preserves it, you see Look, I'm connecting some dots, which may not... Historian, I am not. No. Neither am I an anthropologist, if I'm using that correctly. I'm sure someone will correct me if I'm not.

I was thinking anthropologist, so I reckon it was a good choice of word. I know shrunken heads are in there. They're in the mix in the world. I know that they're not so much a part of modern culture, but in certain bits of the globe, they were around and, you know, a real cultural artifact for someone. And amazingly, James Reid has managed to shrink a couple of heads, a couple, two.

He's done it himself. To fit inside a MacBook Pro box. He has, and he hasn't quite like understood the process why has he done this in the first place he thought he was doing a good thing by getting a gift for zuccoli now the thing is james reed from the feelers also um you know gives us the context that this is a self-serving gift so what james reed from the fellas has done is vanquished two rival djs not himself he hired a guy and taken their bodies decapitated them holy shit and less shrunk in the head and more stuffed them into a macbook pro box like in a mashed kind of a

way and uh look it's disgusting it's messy it's gory i wish we didn't have to keep talking about it week after week but if he's going to put him in there we're going to discuss it his gift to zasoli yeah is what you are now also involved in a double homicide correct two mashed Two mashed up heads And the murder weapon That he puts his fingerprints on Yeah Which is A knife constructed of Obsidian Which is a

Rock It's black and it's very sharp I gotta say You know Coming from a guy who just told me That we're gonna watch this movie Fifteen more times That is

Incredibly dark We're gonna be spending a lot of time together You and I buddy You know, coming from a guy who just told me that we're going to watch this movie 15 more times, that is incredibly dark. We're going to be spending a lot of time together, you and I, buddy. Oh, no way, Jose. It's going to be good fun and good eating. Man, that is just... What DJs did he kill? Well... Have we heard of them?

Or are they local circuit DJs? Yeah, you ever heard of Calvin Harris dog? Because I have. Oh my God. Not Calvin Harris. And the other one was the taller one from Daft Punk. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Is his head still inside the helmet? Yeah. Did he shrink the helmet down? He shrunk the helmet down using fire, but you can't do that to a head. So it's just like i don't want to get too much into it even then i think you've done enough enough enough oh wow man well i gotta say that feels like so much less of a gift and so much more of a curse truly that is um awful behavior from james very unbecoming of a feeler,

I would say. Yeah. What do we expect from them? Platinum albums, Christmas in the Park performances, and to do a pretty solid tour of regional pubs. Absolutely.

What do you not expect from them? To assassin their musical rivals and to mash their heads. I don't even think Daft Punk or Calvin Harris would consider The Feelers to be a rival. Here's the thing about this movie. It'll surprise you. It'll surprise you every time. It would surprise me that The Feelers were on either of their radars.

Unless you're looking for some classic early 2000s New Zealand soft rock samples. Four to the floor. Approximately 120 BPM. Very easy to drum along to at home on your own kit. You know, that's what I like about it. Man, I'm really sorry to hear that to the other half of Daft Punk and Calvin Harris' family. You know what they've had to call themselves now? Just Daft.

Your face at seeing what I've had to call themselves now? Just Daft. Your face at seeing what I was about to lay down and not being happy with it brought me a lot of joy. I was happy. It was a funny thing to say. It's just called Daft. So Punk's dead. Punk's gone. Been decapitated.

It's a powerful statement. It surely is. I'll tell you what, though. Of all the boys that I saw this week hanging out with us, I took a real shine to the few times I was paying attention to Johnny Depp. That seems unlikely. Why do you say that? You've got nothing but bad things to say about him.

Not this week. I'm hitting pause on the contempt and cranking my enjoyment up to 11 tell me tell me about it tell me everything you feel he's just injecting stuff in the movie that would be really missing without him being there parahemplay the leather jacket like what's up i'm wearing a leather jacket dead animals live here that's cool i love that and the facial hair thing it's just so unexpected you know he just pops into a scene and he's got completely different facial hair going on and it was such a bold choice for the actor to make to turn up on set what they really care about that shit because it it's very noticeable on screen

if you just wander onto set and you've had a massive shave when the rest of the movie you've shot, you've got a moustache or something. And so they had to write a line on the day delivered by your man and mine, Jarhead. I was just getting used to hanging out with Burt Reynolds, which is a great line to ad-lib on the day. But they had to chuck it in there. It isn't in the movie.

It wasn't in the movie, you know? It wasn't in the original shooting script, because why would it be? Oh, man. So good on you, Johnny Depp. Trailblazer. I made that exact faux pas, not on purpose.

I had to get a haircut. I had to leave my hair long for continuity and then get it cut because it had grown longer than it was for the thing that I was filming. And did you cut too much? And it got cut too short so then what happened well it's being edited right oh there'll be a man in a room or a woman in a room somewhere yeah watching the footage going fuck you dude dang you're gonna make me look like a piece of shit oh that sucks i'm sorry yeah to whoever you are i'm so i'm sorry to hear that yeah to whoever you are I'm sorry

what's that from sounds like an Adam Sandler movie yeah who's to say well you know good on you man Johnny Depp it's important to find the things you like about people you don't usually get along with because then you can focus on

those details for next time and if not start a friendship, at least bury some resentment. And that's always fun, isn't it? That's a good satisfying pastime. Burying resentment. Yeah. Keeps you warm, I've found.

Yeah. Just suppressing emotions. Keeps you warm at night. If you don't have enough blankets on, just think of the time you've been wronged and nothing was sort of done about it. It'll warm you up. And then bury it or just leave it open?

Bury it again. You've got to open it up and then bury it again. To stay warm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. You laugh, but try it. See how you go. Sooner not.

Listen, what we need to get to the bottom of is... I was wronged by Uber Eats. I'd like to use this... You're feeling a bit chilly? Yeah. Let's get into it. I would just... I don't need to get into it.

Fuck the heater. Tell me about what Uber Eats did to you. I would just like... It's not an interesting story, but I bought burgers from Lord of the Fries in Perth for a bunch of people, $50 worth of burgers and chips. Quite a lot. And I watched the guy.

It's very difficult to change your phone number over on the Uber apps. It's a real nightmare and i forgot in the initial message to say hey call me on this number if you're having problems because you're from new zealand so that's the telephone number yeah exactly but you're ordering and i didn't do it and then there was no means of me communicating the guy you're off the grid uh i was on the grid i just couldn't do it and then i watched him biking back and forth like the street above where we were staying uh for like five minutes and then just leaving i couldn't contact him and i was like help him out you didn't yell at him oh we couldn't see him like oh yeah

yeah i saw him on the app sorry anyways there's nothing to be done and then i messaged uber as i saw it happen because i just saw him bike i was like oh it's coming back i was like and i got everyone around him yeah he's coming back. And I got everyone around him. Yeah, he's coming back. And then his watch is on the other side of the app. He just kept biking all the way away with just a bag full of food. See, now, here's my question. How do you fuck up navigating these days?

It feels inexcusable to me. Because if you could see where you are on the Google Maps, surely he can figure it. I mean, it couldn't be simpler, Guy. Absolutely. They have launched a satellite system for us to use for free to figure out where those burgers are supposed to go. Couldn't be easier. And this Charlie on his bicycle still finds a way to screw it up. Well, but you don't need to.

So this guy, you don't need to worry about that. So that was frustrating in and of itself, Tim. And I contacted Uber immediately. I said, hey guys, had a bit of a situation here. My food's just biked away. Having trouble contacting the- I'm imagining a really big hamburger

riding a bike now. Yeah. I had a bit of trouble contacting the guy. Could you, look, could you, you know, can we do something about this? Please contact me via email or this phone number. XOXO, the flash. I got a message back the next day saying,

hey, saw what happened. The driver said he tried to contact you but couldn't get a hold of you. We can't do anything about it this time. And I was like, okay. And then I explained the problem with their app and how that didn't work. And I was like, yeah, look, I think, you know. You wanted a refund.

You were chasing that dragon. I was like, oh, yeah, no. But, I mean, it was pretty frustrating to watch. You know, it took ages. It took like half an hour. It took longer than it was meant to. It was pretty frustrating, like, watching it get prepared Getting real excited And then watching my food come over

And then bike past the place You know multiple times Do you know what I need from you Guy Montgomery? A little bit more personal responsibility I know Change your phone number over When you're in Australia And you order in Vegas

I tried to But you'd done it after the order hadn't you? No no I tried to do it I've tried to do it So many times It's really that difficult It's easier to just do it temporarily Every time and if you forget you're locked out Anyway

They were like oh wow that sounds really Frustrating guy See ya I can understand why you'd be frustrated Sadly we're unable to do anything about it this time And I was like come on on, guys. It was really frustrating. It's like $50. Usually, I don't mind, but this is

pretty annoying. They're like, yeah. It's really frustrating, guy, but I'm not going to be able to do anything about it this time. I was like, look, Chuck M, my problem doesn't lie with you. It lies with the people you work for. Give me,

like do something. It's like, if you really want to do something, you wouldn't. He's like, yeah, look, we're going to have to end our correspondence here.

Really? Yeah. Just drop it off. And yeah, and I was like, oh, I wrote back. I'd been trying to hold out

and I wrote back, Sophie, my partner was like, I was like, should I write, fuck you? And then the last one, I was like,

fuck, this isn't for you, Chuck. I want you to relay to all of your employees write fuck you and then the last one I was like fuck this isn't for you Chuck I want you to relay to all of your employees fuck you oh no because they had the gall

before that to be like wow that sounds really frustrating we started to work out this time we hope you'll use us again then you're going to be

taking the piss you can't acknowledge your mistakes say you're not going to do anything about it and then be like but try rolling the dice

next time you played and lost oh look and it's so minor and I really didn't want to dig it up but do you feel warmer I deleted the app

I'm going to go back to having to go and pick up my food like a schmuck oh god what a world we live in and it's so pathetic because Uber

have been so villainous across the board in so many different ways. Here was an opportunity, guys. Help Guy Montgomery out. But it took until I was wrong for me to be like, you know what? This is the straw that broke the camel's back. First they came for their employees and I said nothing for I was not an Uber employee.

Oh, fuck. And now here you are. Do you know what I want to find out, though? What is going on in that bathroom? Yeah, dude. And now here you are. Do you know what I want to find out, though? What is going on in that bathroom? Yeah, dude. You know? What's happened in there? Well, I'll tell you this.

Someone showed up to the party at 3 a.m. with $50 worth of hamburgers. Fuck off. How did that happen? I got no idea. All I know is everyone was very excited to see the food arrive. They said, let's tuck in. Sure, sure, sure in sure sure sure sure so in america the thing you got to remember is um firstly this bicyclist working for uber eats has gone way off track because their order came from i'm assuming a major city in australia maybe sydney perth another major city of australia somehow this bicyclist has wound up the most isolated city in the world yeah it is

yeah genuinely is yeah by some metric by like how far away it is from something something blah blah blah anyway this bicyclist has managed to uh haul us across the pacific to wind up don't shake your head that's the right i'm shaking my head at the very idea of it. I say, have I got my options right? He's wound up in the valley of Los Angeles in California, which is crazy. And some enterprising young lads have gone, a rogue $50 burger order, eh? That'll really pipe up this party. And so they bring it in.

There's no way these burgers can be good to eat at this point, by the way. We've got to say. They're wet. They're cold. They have traveled so far. Like about 10,000 kilometers, I reckon. Just one shred of common sense to say, you know what? I think we should eat these burgers.

But amazing that they got there. I would eat them just out of sheer curiosity about the whole thing. It'd be like if you discovered a little piece of the true cross that Jesus was crucified on. I'd eat that too. Just to be a part of it, you know? Yeah, man. You can eat anything. So then the question becomes, what happened in the bathroom?

Well, what happens when you eat sort of 15 000 kilometer old burgers oh my god i actually know the answer to this question because uh i don't think you can get done for libelous on a podcast but i had lord of the fries and i'm pretty fucking confident it gave me bacterial gastroenteritis. So I actually can relate to this and think I know exactly where you're going with what's happened in that bathroom, what Johnny Depp has discovered. You're getting an original tainted product, which will give people very unusual bowel movements, unexpected and far from solid.

You've combined with that the power of poseidon himself and 10 000 kilometers worth of travel and you know what consuming that's not going to be good for your intestines it's going to be bad the opposite of good yeah so um look i don't want to paint too vivid a picture after this shrunken head disaster but i think you know where we're going with this it's a porcelain nightmare yeah code brown porcelain nightmare sounds like the name of a high school rock quest i think it was actually i think poo hate might have there might be a name of one of their tracks this is i've talked about poo hate on the the podcast before. This is a comedy death metal band that some friends of mine created

when we were teenagers. It was very good. That is so unlikely. Another one of the tracks was called Captain's Log. I remember that one. And another one was called Lictoranium Scruddocks.

It was like faux Latin. Yeah, man. Last time I mentioned them, Lictoranium Scruddocks It was like faux Latin Yeah man Last time I mentioned them I got a message from One of the boys in the band Saying hey there's There's been a few hits On the website

Did you mention it On the podcast I bloody did Oh great So let's do that again everyone Google Poohate They might have the website Still going

Hard to say Not sure If not Buy the domain name And lord it over Tim For the rest of his years. Might have it. Not my band. Not my problem.

Oh, you weren't in the band. No. Not musical enough. Not good enough. Did you hype them up? Absolutely. Went to every gig. Did you?

Yeah. How many people did they play to? What was the most? I remember them playing in the school hall, which in retrospect seems unlikely, but did happen. They managed to play to like a school assembly, I think. What song did they- It's funny, isn't it? What smash hit did they dig out from their back catalogue?

I'm not sure. Was it Captain's Log or Porcelain Nightmare? Lictoranium Scruddocks, perhaps. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage, Poo Hate. All of the tracks were like 45 seconds as all good comedy death metal tracks should be this is like make you make your point and on to the next one so look any closing thoughts on this film that we're not watching this movie 60 times we absolutely are i can't express to you how much we are because i'm not

i'm not doing this out of spite i'm doing this because there needs to be solid recognition that we fucked up yeah yeah we can acknowledge it but i'm sorry for swearing you also have to look at the re like the scientific reason that we probably didn't watch it for so long it's because of our like obviously we had we were busy but because of our deep-seated desire to not watch the film. I'm hearing a lot of excuses out of you. It's not an excuse. It's a fact.

It's not happened before. That's your body's way of saying, hey, dude, you might want to take it easy on we. We are your friends for a while. Do you know what else hasn't happened before, Guy? I haven't penalized us 15 watches, okay? Yeah, that's a huge part of why I'm bringing it up. Wrong. And even 60.

60's a good number. No, these are the ramblings of a maniac. We're going to end it there. I would like to say thank you for bearing with us. I'd like to say thank you to my friend Guy for coming back to New Zealand. It's great to be back ow

this movie's still fine there's a colleague who passed out one of them dies that guy's screw one of them's a hottie his name is Jay one of them

looks like Johnny Depp and his name is Johnny Depp classic Maximum Joseph I agree you forget that films are supposed to have a point Today You ready?

Okay, let's go The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer Everybody run! Ends here This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately Borderlands, now playing