The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Four - Sentimental

Episode Date: May 26, 2016

SPONSORED BY BIGPIPE.CO.NZGuy and Tim are back in the pool and trying to describe the plot of WAYF in a few short minutes. Someone's playing baseball, there's extensive moustache chat. The boys beg the question - What is a comet? GuyGuy attempts a new recurring segment but Timbo is fair from convinced this one is going to go the distance. Also, our main man Monty has lost his underwear. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today. You ready? Okay, let's go. The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer. Everybody run! Ends here. This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands. Now playing.

Are you gonna play that dastardly intro again? Intro, intro, intro, intro, intro, intro. Ow! This movie's still fun. There's a colleague who passed out One of them dies, that guy's screw One of them's a hottie, his name is Jay One of them looks like Johnny Depp

And his name is Johnny Depp Classic Maximum Joseph You forget that films are supposed to have a point Hello, welcome along to the worst idea of all time. Season three, episode four. A huge thank you to Christopher Brown. Once again, the real MVP, Chris Brown. Maximum Brown.

Yeah, it's good fun. Oh, it's good every time. How you doing? How you living out there? Not you guy, everyone else Yeah, I'll speak on behalf of them, they're all doing well That's good to hear That's good to hear

My name's Tim Batt and I just watched We Are Your Friends What's your name? What do you do? Exactly the same thing Yes My name is Trifinius So much to talk about The first thing we've got to get right up the top is

the fact that this episode is brought to you by BigPipe Broadband BigPipe.co.nz is where you go to get their goodies if you're in New Zealand, you're in luck, you have access to the world's greatest internet service provider. If you are outside of New Zealand continue listening to this part of the

podcast because we're about to tell you about a real cool fact in new zealand we've got this great broadband provider called big pipe and a lot of other broadband providers in new zealand have uh what we call pro throttling yes uh protling where they'll come around and they'll either prod you with a cattle prod a fiery soldering hot cattle prod or they'll throttle you with their hands uh but big pipe they've got a no nonsense approach to this sort of stuff and they say no thanks that's not our policy and uh they're the only internet provider to actually have that written into their into their contracts no throttling so um here's some actual testimonials i've just got on their website Do you want some? What was wrong with my testimonial? Oh, were you not done?

Nah Sorry No, I am done I just thought it was enough Been awesome and I'm pleased with my service Writes William Tong 11 days ago Setting up a connection was simple and straightforward

The speed on fibre is amazing too Thanks Marvin Stewart. Also 11 days ago. Sounds like Big Pipe just built a bot. 11 days ago. I would have thought that their punctuation could be a little better if it was a bot then. Yeah, go to bigpipe.co.nz.

Get your internet there. These people were so excited by the internet service they were being provided. They stopped caring about punctuation. They just had to get the message out. It didn't matter how it looked. Now, the second thing I want to address is actually kind of unrelated to the movie, but I'm pretty sure Guy and I just saw a meteor flying through the sky. Yeah.

Which I don't know if that's a sign that we're doing the right thing in the same way that the Wise Men saw a star. Because they were kind of like, why do we keep hanging out together why is it always the four of us do you know what my three of us thought there was a fourth one who didn't make it he got lost I mean they were only following a star

what was his gift it was an incense holder oh that makes so much fucking sense. Yeah, I know. Because we're going to put the frankincense. We're going to provide a lot of context. Frankincense, also, funnily enough,

the name of the guy carrying frankincense. Frankincense. Yeah, his parents had a real sense of humour. Do you know the guy who was carrying myrrh, that's actually a common misconception, he was a stand-up comedian. He was bringing myrrh. Ah. But everyone got kind of

translated in the bible incorrectly and stuff anyway sorry you were saying well i don't know i think we took we're taking some serious flights of fancy and watching the movie this week tim we're having a lot of fun imagining different things that could have happened yeah things that did happen and i yeah and i think that somewhere along the way my brain went a little bit off the rails or just I was living in a very elevated cinematic reality. And when I saw what is presumably a meteor flying past, it's like that's either a shooting star or it's bigger than that. I didn't think meteor.

And I watched it go flying until it was out of our eyesight, like beneath the horizon or whatever. And I was like waiting for the feel or sound of impact. I was like, there's a plane or there's something from the skies and it's going down. That's why I paused the movie for so briefly. I was like, fuck, man. This ain't good.

Or at least to see the power go out. But everything's all hunky-dory. That's the thing fuck, man. This ain't good. Or at least to see the power go out, but everything's all hunky-dory. That's the thing with meteors. I think they pass through the atmosphere quite regularly, and they look very dramatic, but they don't do anything. Nothing. Nothing. A meteor's surely done something before.

Oh, yeah. What's the plot of Armageddon? Is that an asteroid? Yeah. I think the only difference between the two is size, and it's definitely an asteroid. Where does a comet fit into that? Well, a comet never enters the atmosphere, I don't think. That's just a body with a tail that you see in the outer spaces, isn't it?

A body with a tail? Yeah, you know, an astral body with a tail, like a ghost. A lot of ghost talk this week. Oh, actually, do you know what we need to do? We need to take three steps backwards because I was on the subreddit the other day, r slash T-W-I-O-A-T, for those curious, and they were saying they've got no idea what happens in the movie.

And we're up to episode four. We've got to attempt at least a semblance of a blow-by-blow of the plot, which I thought we had covered, but I guess maybe we'd skipped over. I don't know how it's simple like a nugget for you idiots. There's four guys. They all live in the valley. Go beat by beat. There's so many beats,

and there's so much more exciting stuff to talk about. What's the... Okay. Well, we'll try and do it in five minutes, okay? Okay. Whole movie. So we open on our favorite fuckboys hanging out, being explained to us the geography and importance of the San Fernando Valley,

where it is, what it does, how to get the best sushi in the Western Hemisphere. That's all conjecture. The boys are getting ready for a night on the piss. They're all real excited to be promoting and for Zicoli to be DJing the side room at some mediocre electronic dance music club in the valley. No, I think that's in proper LA. I think that's downtown, isn't it? They live in the Valley. No, I think that's in proper LA.

I think it's like downtown, isn't it? They live in the Valley. James Reid wouldn't be caught dead DJing at a club in the Valley. No, you're probably right, actually. Yeah, and they do talk about getting taxis back from Silver Lake. They go to, so the kind of opening thing is they're in a college that they're flyering at. They're very pumped up about getting people to come

because they get paid per the amount of people that they bring into the club. They get paid $5 a head, which is pretty fucking good. They're very pumped up about getting people to come because they get paid per the amount of people that they bring into the club. They get paid $5 a head. Yeah. Which is pretty fucking good. They're like cattle. They work hard to promote the gig, though. They do. And so then we're getting drunk.

Then we're going to the gig in Squirrel's mom's station wagon. And what we know before we know all this, we know that these boys have got a lot riding on the success of Zicoli, and Zicoli's probably the most ambitious out of all of them he wants to be a big dj uh he's got a very aggressive friend called jarhead who is a huge advocate and proponent of this idea and sort of champions it to people who aren't necessarily interested in listening uh and just by virtue of being at the same gig uh james reed superstar dj and zicoly wind up smoking some weed

together and taking some pcp outside the club and going to a party zicoly wakes up at james reed's house james reed's late last night you're talking a lot of shit about how good you are djing play me some music and zicoly's like okay he plays it and james reed's like no it's not very good uh and then it's also but also uh Reed's dating Emily Radjikowski I'll get it right one day and she drops off Zicole and then they begin a working relationship

James Reed and Zicole love triangle ensues Zicole becomes a massive superstar that's pretty good man and you got time to burn baby yeah great there's essentially the only major. And you got time to burn, baby. Yeah. You did great.

That's essentially it. The only major plot point you missed, which is an easy one, is that midway through, the boys get a job at a real estate firm, which they don't realize it at the time, but it's this predatory establishment where a guy called Paige is in charge, and he's mates with Johnny Depp.

Johnny Depp is in the fuckboy quad. He's a drug dealer, but he's cool. So don't worry about it. He wants to be an actor. So he manages to get them all a job at Paige's Outfit and what they're doing is they're actually preying on people whose banks are foreclosing on their houses because they couldn't keep up with mortgage payments

and then they swoop in and offer them like pennies on the dollar for what their house is worth because they're getting evicted anyway. So they can either end up with nothing if the bank forecloses on them outright or they can take, like, a $20,000 check from Page. Yeah, and Page is kind of peppered through the story. He's not a good guy.

He's captain of the... But he's not bad enough to be a real bad guy, either. Oh, he's a pretty bad guy, though. He's captain of the softball team. He's social captain at the office yeah is he really

that's why he's swinging around that softball bat the whole time he's giving that speech see I thought that was kind of a menacing prop that he uses that's why the speech

is quite efficient and punchy because he's like welcome to the jungle boys I've got to get back out on that diamond I've got to get back out on the diamond yeah yeah

fair enough too bottom of the eighth I shouldn't have left I'm going to get back out on that diamond. I've got to get back out on the diamond. Yeah, yeah. Fair enough, too. Bottom of the eighth. I shouldn't have left. I'm going to get fired as captain. Bases are loaded and so am I. I like to drink PCP while I play. A lot of PCP in this movie. Three second persons on PCP.

Also, for our New Zealand listeners and any fans of early 2000s New Zealand guitar rock, you'll notice that the name of the superstar DJ in the movie, James Reid, is also the name of the front man, presumably predominant songwriter, very popular New Zealand. Hugely successful. Hugely successful and popular New Zealand rock band,

The Feelers. Now, this is quite funny. The spelling's different. That it took us four goes for you. I didn't even, it was kind of in the back recesses of my mind that it was a familiar name, but you were like, that's why this is funny. He's got the same name as the front man from The Feelers,

who has storied history and quite a figure of folklore in certain New Zealand circles for a few reasons. He's, I think, had periods of being pretty good at drinking and then pretty bad It's like they drew inspiration for the DJ character James Reid from the real James Reid If I was a lawyer, I would be calling up James Reid of the Feelers right now and saying

we've got a case for defamation Fuck, imagine that If James Reid from New Zealand, from the fearless, tried to sue this, like, Efron vehicle for defamation. Fuck, that'd be good. Oh, I would bankroll that if I had any money.

What a brilliant thing to invest in that would be. So, but, you know, you get to the fourth watch and you start noticing things you didn't notice the first time. That was one of them. What? The softball. The James Reid thing. Oh, the James Reid thing, yeah, and the softball angle.

And also, like, James Reid gives Zuccoli a speech when he finds out that Zuccoli has had sex with his assistant slash girlfriend. That's part of the love triangle unfilling for those of you who are struggling to keep up with reference points. It's about at the two-thirds mark. It's the sort of the all is lost moment of the film. But we had kind of glossed over how serious what he says in that bathroom brawl is,

because first he totally decks Ziccoli, just fucking lays him out. Yeah, and also Ziccoli has had sex with his girlfriend, and also I think the reason that he gets beat up so badly is less about that and more about just the idiocy, and I can't emphasize this enough. I'll probably mention it every week. Having a one-night stand with someone who you're friends with's girlfriend

and having a cute photo of yourself, you too. First of all, don't take this outfit. Don't take photos. But if you're going to, put it somewhere safe. And we're not trying to lay out a game plan for anyone about how to be a dastardly human being. But just, this is basic stuff. Don't take photos and then store them as the photo

for when someone calls you. Like, especially if you hang out with this dude all the time. And if you do that, have the fucking brains about you to keep your phone in your pocket. Never leave it on the table when you go to the bathroom in a one-on-one interaction with the person you've betrayed. Unless, unless you're looking for a plot device in your pocket never leave it on the table when you go to the bathroom in a one-on-one interaction with the person you've betrayed unless unless you're looking for a plot device in your own life and in which case you should follow all the steps that coley did that's right or even not in your own life but if you're writing a movie and you're struggling to create conflict

between these characters living in a i am at maximum joseph there is no more to give i've had it up to my eyeballs and myself. This is the only plot device I can come up with. There are a few moments watching the movie this week where I feel like maximum Joseph, maybe it wasn't so maximum Joseph after all. Maybe he was more medium to minimum Joseph. Just a few fourth, you know,

the fourth watch plot holes or gaffes, embarrassing gaffes, embarrassing gaffes, huge embarrassing wardrobe gaffe. They all go to a music festival in Las Vegas and some poor lackey down in the wardrobe department has accidentally slapped an LA singlet on Zac Efron in Las Vegas. Wham! Minimum Joseph. What a boo-boo.

Anyway, Maximum Joseph's just been like well no one's probably going to notice that. We'll just have him partying in Las Vegas in this LA thing the whole time. Guess what? You didn't anticipate I'm watching this movie four times. Motherfucker I see through you. Gotcha Maximum Joseph. I can't think of a single

other thing. This movie is literally perfect. Does anything come to mind for you? There was yeah some missed opportunities the thing this movie is literally perfect does anything come to mind for you uh uh there was yeah some missed opportunities uh well we did talk at the end about um so we zaggy from like there's a there's a lot of conversation to try and like embed the movie and sort of uh or imbue it with the integrity you know specific to the music that's being created because it's like it is meant to be about you know his passion and love of creating electronic dance music yes sir uh and so him and james reed have a few conversations with james reed's like imitation is suicide you got to have

a natural organic sound and like start showing him instruments and by the way i think i um spotted another improvised scene between uh i think add it to the pile yeah there's i think it's called the weekly improvisation and i think a few of these scenes were clearly improvised and this one a lot of it was cut god knows why but an improvised conversation between zicoli and james reed about different things that david bowie did as a musician i think also to try and lend it a sense of um musical integrity it starts off because it's a scene where james reed takes the coley into his studio in his house and he's got all these crazy uh instruments um like he's got a wheel it's a

keyboard do you call it a keyboard like an electric piano i don't know what technical and then they bust out some weird like proto-synth instrument the name of which I can't remember and then Zicoli's like David Bowie used one of these

in Space Oddity to which all of us 19 year olds in the audience are supposed to go whoa Zicoli knows this fucking shit

Rob that is a deep cut David Bowie that like far-flung fringe artist that my parents listen to because they're super hip. Oh, damn.

And that lesser-known B-side of his, Space Oddity. Wow. Turn on a whole new generation of Bowie listeners. What a knowledgeable dude. But James Reid, being the improviser he is, returns the volley to Zicoli and says, returns the volley to Zicoli and says, yes, and David Bowie painted a lightning bolt on his face at one point in his music career.

And Zicoli goes, yes, and did you know that David Bowie isn't his real birth name? Yes. His name is Davy Jones. And do you know that Space Oddity wasn't the only time he sang about space? And the scene just goes on and on. And for whatever reason, Maximum Joseph was feeling

pretty minimum when he was in the edit room because he cut all that for time. There's a lot of good stuff that got lost on the cutting room floor here. Yeah. And some garbage that stayed in but the original point i was going to make is so they're trying to uh sort of speak to how badly zach everyone wants to make this song we're just going to speak to everyone and uh a lot of it is

he starts noticing things happening in his real life that he can record and put into a song it's like and that's what means stuff to him uh and at one point he's going for a run and this was the end or the climax of the film and his phone dies and suddenly he starts hearing everything around him. The crackle of the electric wires above him or the birds or his friend putting a nail gun in the roof.

Or a helicopter. Or a helicopter. And he records all of them on his phone and then he's like, oh, that's what he means. That's the song I have to make, and go home, and in this wave of inspiration slaps the whole song together. And I think the reason that the song fails so badly

at the end of the movie is it needed a tight edit. Well, that's a very generous interpretation of what the song needed. I think the whole thing is garbage, that whole track at the end. Because the movie glides by on being an okay film. And if that track had been awesome, like, you know, you could have been looking

at a solid 60, 64% Rotten Tomatoes, I reckon. Rotos. 64 ratos out of a hundy. But they really flubbed it on that track which is what everything's leading to and you just left going yeah ah but the thing is zaggy front does a good job of catching like of acting out the feeling of being inspired and how excited he is to put it all together yeah but the thing is yeah because i've been inspired before and i'm sure you have as well and sometimes you get super inspired and you write all the stuff down

or you put it. You paint it. Yeah, you put it in whatever filing system it is. I'm a gifted painter. And then what you do is you sleep on it and you come back to it the next day and you're like, oh, that's a shame. Like, I'm sure I was onto something, but that is. And that didn't happen.

That is an absolute crime scene. He slapped some art together in his laptop, which consisted of a recording of a coin turning on a table, his mate giving him some pretty mediocre advice, which means nothing to anyone. It's only significant to him because he died. Squirrel died. So here's a sample of that.

A voice message from Sophie, who's out of her head on drugs at the time what else we got in there a fucking shoddily put together electrical grid which if anything is just a symbol of the crumbling infrastructure of America like the

whole thing if it means anything to anyone is just about how we fail all the time. The anthemic verbal hook for the song is a quote from Squirrel in quite a blue conversation they're having at a sushi restaurant. Not sexually blue.

Blue as in depressing. He says, are we ever going to be better than this? And let me tell you, Tim, if I was a music critic at the festival, I'll tell you what, the headline of my review of the festival, specifically as a Coley set would be. Yes.

It would be, in bold, are we ever going to be better than this? I sure hope so. And then in the review it would contain the words, self-indulgent. Slammed. Absolutely hammered you. And you would throw that into Noisy,

Vice's little sub-music site, if memory serves. Yes. Collect your $7 paycheck from them, and now you're a blogger, mate. That's right. And now we're going to make a movie about you. Let the circle jerk continue. There's another thing I wanted to remind you of, Tim,

which was that you had a wave of inspiration during the film that you think a really good band name would be. Oh, yeah. Hold on. I'll see if I can remember it, because it's just based entirely on the line that James Reid says to Ziccoli Something bodies in, oh no, I'm not going to remember it

What is it? Janky Rig and the Gyrating Twins. Yeah, because he buys him a, James Reid buys Ziccoli a MacBook Jesus, you alright? You just smashed your elbow onto the wall with excitement. I had an idea for... Yeah, but is your arm okay, Jeff?

Yeah, I'm fine. Today. You ready? Okay, let's go. The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer. Everybody run! Ends here. This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder

to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands, now playing. And I'm brave. I had an idea for a weekly segment at this moment, by the way, in the film. It's called Getting Sentimental with James Reid. Please tell me more. Hold on, I'll finish my thought first so he buys him a Macbook and he says I just couldn't

I couldn't deal with the image of you with that janky rig in front of all those gyrating tweens and I'm like that's a killer name for a music duo janky rig and gyrating tweens there's a few whippersnapper lines of dialogue

that come through in the film but yeah the notion for getting sentimental with James Reid and you have power of veto on this Can you make up a sting for it verbally on the spot? I'm going to try and hit a button. Can you go? Getting sentimental

Oh wait wait wait try it again Getting sentimental with James Reid. The button thing didn't work, but you sounded great. Thanks. So pretty much he comes into the room and he says, I got a little, I may have gotten a little sentimental. And he's carrying a plastic bag with a box inside of it.

Yeah. And this week, what I thought was inside the box, when he said I'm going to get... The box which on the outside has a picture of a MacBook and says MacBook on it and the Apple logo. This is what makes it so precious and so sentimental. So he walked in and he said, I may have gotten a little sentimental

and hands him an Apple bag with a MacBook Pro box inside, knowing full well how much he wants a new MacBook Pro. And then he opens it and he says, it's my hair. And it's just full of different bits of hair. Jesus Christ. And he's chopped off and put in a box. That's not right, mate.

That is not right. And each week we could say what sentimental gesture we think James Reid has made towards Ziccoli. Don't know if that one's going to stay with us or much like the meteor we saw this evening die in a flash of brilliance against the atmosphere which is episode number four. You wish it was

episode number six you greedy fucking bastard Really I tell you what the gears are starting to slow down a little bit now because it got to what bit of the movie was it where I flicked on to see the timeline, to see what we were up to? It was between one third and one half of the movie,

time slowed down. I can't remember what the scene was. But hey, plenty of chances to catch this. After Zicoli's homophobic gear had bombed at the Stanford party. I think it was when they first get to the Stanford party, actually. No, it's after that joke tanks and they're looking out over the city. It's a well shot shot.

A lot of the movie's well shot. It's really good. It's a tight, it's kind of a two shot on them, but sort of silhouetted. Because they're on the sort of crest of a hill. And they're looking out against other hills on the other side, and all the lights are kind of in soft focus.

I think it's called Moray or something. It reminded me of... I have once sat on a hill above like a flat, expansive land of city in Christchurch. What hill were you on? I was in the Port Hills. Oh, that makes sense. Looking down over...

The Canterbury Plains. The Canterbury Plains. Oh, that makes sense. Looking down over the Canterbury Plains. The Canterbury Plains. Oh, no, the lights, like the twinkling lights of Christchurch. Underneath all that smog. Underneath all that smog. And in a way of inspiration, my friends and I envisioned all of the lights as they were in the Los Angeles shot, the Moray shot that you like so much. I like that.

But because I had some weed and I'd only just discovered how much fun it is to smoke weed, I thought that all of the lights made really crude formations of dicks and that the civic planners from years ago who had plotted the lights of Christchurch had just put like a crude outline of a dick on every block. Nice. And I was like, wow, that's awesome. Good on you, Christchurch.

Yeah. You're a young city, and I mean that in all senses of the word because people hid dicks everywhere. Yeah. You're like a little 11-year-old with a vivid. It's vintage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have a shining light?

Yeah, I had a couple. I'm trying to remember what they were. Oh, I know what it was. It was when Zuccoli comes to the outside of the club and he's smoking a spliff and he sees James Dean read. Not James Dean, though. That would be freaky and kind of awesome. But he sees James Dean.

Oh, fuck. He sees James Reed instead's that's sticking around that's in my head now so that's not going anywhere um and he says to james reed do you smoke and james reed just says yes i do and he says it just like that i think i actually nailed it and i just really like his delivery on that. Yeah. Yeah, it's very cool. It's everything that the Johnny Depp character is supposed to be in this movie. But he says like half of one syllable in each scene so we don't get enough time to flesh him out.

James Reid on the other hand. He mostly just sells drugs. Yeah. And wrests control of the deeds of people's houses What the fuck is What is up with Johnny Depp shaving His moustache off He probably booked another gig Because you know how they shoot all movies chronologically

Yeah He probably booked another gig And was like hey we're about to wrap on this I've really got to There's two bits of the movie Where they go to great pains To explain someone's face What's going on with their face and it never comes

back. And the first is right in the opening where Zac Efron has to tell you where he got his scar that's on his left, no sorry, right eyebrow that he got into a fight. That's right up top. Right up top. And then when our man Johnny Depp's

facial hair changes, that gets addressed in some dialogue as well. I don't fucking even pay attention to what he looked like the first time I saw him. You wouldn't have known. Wouldn't have known at all. And even if I did, I'd be like, oh, he fucking had a shave. All right. But they do this big song and dance about it.

It's called dialogue. No, but that dialogue is supposed to be for a reason. In a movie. It's supposed to mean something. It's supposed to be some a reason. In a movie. It's supposed to mean something. It's supposed to be some symbolism. It was for realism. If you were with your friend and you were picking them up in the car and they were coming down to get in the car

and they'd done something drastic to change the look of their face, someone that you see every day, you'd be like, hey, that thing on your face has changed. So then the point of it in the film would be to kind of build this friendship, this relationship, right? Well, because it's before they have a big fight. I guess so. Maybe he doesn't like him without the moustache.

Well, fuck, I don't know. I feel like there's better ways of doing that than shaving the dude's face and then talking about it. I think what they tried to do, and I reckon this got lost in the edit, is it was kind of like um because they mentioned how he's wearing a leather jacket in the summer um early on in the movie so he's established as a cool guy like if anyone's actually james dean it's fucking johnny depp so later i think what's happening is he's falling deeper into the corporate cesspit of pages emporium of uh vulture debt deals it's a symbol

of that it's supposed to be like he's gone from this uber cool dude who wears leather jackets in the summertime and has a goatee to uh a fucking sellout who wears a shirt and shaves his goddamn face i reckon that's what's supposed to be But there's not enough there for you to get that unless you've watched it four times and are trying to assemble some meaning. Yeah. I can't disagree with any of the points you made then. I'm spitballing.

You did good. I'm throwing it out there. What was your shining light? My shining light was a beautiful piece of foreshadowing that I hadn't noticed previously. Another fourth watch find or hashtag FWF. shining light was a beautiful piece of foreshadowing that i hadn't noticed previously another fourth watch find or hashtag fwf um when zach efron is saying one oh no sorry this is different there's just there's a funny so many good moments yeah so many moments but the thing was the thing

was at one point and you barely see it when they're driving in the car at the start of the movie they drive past a billboard that has the uh design and logo for like a summerfest billboard uh and it's like only half the billboard it's only in frame for about a second maybe and i saw it and i was like oh wow i mean they've absolutely fluffed it because no one would notice that but they're really making a thing of summerfest existing i guess that's the thing of the difference between a director of photography and an editor and what can get lost in between them. Because the DOP, I bet, was like, fuck, this is going to pay dividends. This is a good shot.

And we're alluding to what's happening later in the movie. I'm a fucking genius. And the editor's just been like, oh, I don't know, we need to tighten this up. What's that? What's that shit billboard? We only need that for a split second. And the editors have just been like, oh, I don't know, we need to tighten this up. What's that? What's that shit billboard? We only need that for a split second. Yeah, that's ugly. Who did the design on that?

What is Summerfest? That's a terrible name for a festival. And then someone's like, no, no. It's a real festival, dude. And the name of that festival is Maximum Joseph's Baby. He spent hours working on that exact title for the festival. He was cooking on that. He drank a whole bunch of PCP,

and then he ran over to his brand new MacBook that his mentor had given him. Who would Maximum Joseph's mentor be? Steven Spielberg, probably. Known for his adventures in reality television and social commentary. Known for both of those things. Indiana Jones, The Port portrait of an archaeologist

yeah it was a beautiful film actually no i read i read an interview um with max joseph last week and in it he was talking about mentorship and how uh after he released Catfish. Steven Spielberg sent him a box, like a MacBook Pro box, and it was just filled with all of his nails, like his toenails. Real Howard Hughes style. He kept them in a jar, and he poured them onto a MacBook Pro box and sent it to him. So that sort of checks out. With a card that said,

I may have gotten a little sentimental yours truly, Steven Spielberg and also inside the box was a copy of Super System, A Great City by the Feelers the Feelers of Emotion you said that

in the way that you're supposed to deliver the aristocrats the Feelers the other thing I wanted to say in the way that you're supposed to deliver at the aristocrats. The feel is. The other thing I wanted to say before we probably, how long have we been talking for? Half hour. Nice.

Yeah. Oh, by the way, everyone, I don't know, did I mention this on the friend zone? What? Oh yeah, I did. I don't know what you're about to say. Oh, well, I was just thinking because- The nature of this podcast, guys, that I have no idea what is about to come out of your mouth

at any given moment. I just remembered it's quite late at night. I've got to fly. I've got to leave in the morning and I've got all of my underwear trapped. Oh, yeah, yeah. We did talk about that in the French. So since you joined us last,

there's been a whole movie in the way and as far as we know the underwear is unchanged it is still yeah sitting in that is it dried at least or is it well it doesn't smell like it's like my flatmate uh very good friend of mine called oscar said a lovely boy when we moved when i moved in he was like hey man just so you know like it's that says wash a dryer but i'm pretty i don't know that the dryer function works. I don't really use it. And I was like, yeah, whatever.

And sort of abided that. And then tonight when I was like, I couldn't be bothered going to the laundry room, I was like, I'll try and use the dryer function. And I've discovered why you're not meant to, because it traps. There's like some weird gremlin who lives in there who loves feasting on damp socks and undies. Walk me through the machinery. Clean, but damp.

How is it that you can't open the door? It's a front loader. Yeah. So, it's got like a locking mechanism on it. So, it's got like, it's quite, it doesn't come out from the handle heaps, but inside the right, center right hand part of the handle, like the, what is it? Circumference of the circle. There's like a little button that you push in, which opens the door, but you push it

and nothing happens. It's like a little button that you push in which opens the door but you pushed it and nothing happens it's like still rigid shut and then i mean beyond that you've tried jimnying the thing i've changed i've put it on different cycles so that it would be like try and reset it out of drying mode yeah i've unplugged it and plugged it back in someone on twitter told me to do that see you would think that samsung and all their wisdom would have a thing where if you pulled it out of the wall it would like unlock you know like some doors do so that things aren't trapped like people or underwear it's very unlikely yeah you wouldn't want any people being trapped in there certainly not imagine if you put a cat in there or something you can get it out it'd be the worst of all pcp with james reed and you like came to quite quickly so you're i'm just gonna put him in a wee tumble dry just to dry him off because he fell in the quickly. So you're like, oh, I'm just going to put him in a wee tumble dry

just to dry him off because he fell in the pool. And then you're like, this is a bad idea. So you turn it off and you unplug it, but the fucking cat's still trapped in there. Oh, real horror story. At least it would have clean underwear to wear. The fearless. But what I was going to say as a sort of final thought,

which we thought of, which was funny, was Zac Efron is very convinced of the notion that one... I don't like you prefacing something by saying which we thought was funny. Well, we did. What was it? Are you afraid it won't be funny now? Yeah, I am. I am.

Sober light of day. Very afraid of that. That's quite a natural fear. That is what it is to go on stage with a new joke every time. It's when Zach Zicoli's convinced that all you need is like one track. He's like, all you need is one track, one song. And the reason for this logic is pretty much because- He says it's your ticket to everything.

And the reason he believes this so pretty much because... He says it's your ticket to everything. And the reason he believes this so firmly is because his friend Johnny Depp told him about the guy who invented Instagram and sold it for a bunch of money. Yeah. And so he's like, yeah, it'll change everything. It's your ticket to anywhere. Yeah. Ticket to everything.

And then just flash forward to Ziccoli at the airport walking up to the check-in for a flight to abitha saying hello i'm here for the flight to abitha and they say okay have you got your ticket and he goes i sure do and just takes out a smartphone and starts playing the song he's made so you absolutely cannot travel on the back of that song we're gonna need to see some immigration papers no you don't understand goes up to the lotto desk after a $27 million Powerball and says, I believe you have

something of mine. You want to know... I'm not indulging that thought, guy. Do you know what's occurred to me? I watched you. I watched you tune out,

think of something interesting to say yourself, and then re-enter the room. Something came to me. Something came to me something came to me i didn't go looking for it it found me man you need to take some improv lessons from the fucking heroes

in this movie because that was savage i'm so sorry i left you out in the cold there but what i want to say is it's funny because the shit track that he plays at james reed's house to he and sophie when james reed's got the massive hangover after the pcp party that's a better track than the one he actually ends the movie on if he played that at summerfest i'd be like well it's cheesy but yep that's a that's a edm track i still think he should have just played you two's beautiful day okay that Okay, that's good. That's good. And taken outright credit for it. All the young, gyrating tweens wouldn't have known the band. No, they're too young for U2.

Whoa, this is experimental. And he starts going by the stage name Vono Box, just to fuck with him. I still maintain that Beautiful Day is, like, undeniably a fire-hot track. I'll'll deny it then i'll take the fucking bait cannot fail to uplift any person it's just i think the heart is a globe i think that's the line there's a lot of lines in that in that song and half of them are probably no you're singing elevation a mole digging in a hole great job great fucking job you didn't write a lyric you're watching david edinburgh documentary falling asleep you woke up and thought you had an idea

so now bono vox is a man who gets struck by inspiration, quickly writes it down, releases it to a record label, and it actually makes him money. He's a dude who that comes together for. You'll even notice in that anecdote, though, he slept on the idea. That's a good point. Even he's got the edge to check his working. Let's take it to the edge.

That's what the edge's wife says before they have sex. I hope so. I hope that kind of stuff is happening. I hope I live on a planet where that kind of stuff's happening. The edge from you two, his spouse still hasn't got over the fact that his stage name is The Edge and is cracking real terrible puns before coitus, just for a laugh.

And definitely for herself. He's not enjoying it either. He's just like, wow. Nah, God. Fucking hell, Martha. I thought we were past this. We went to couples counselling on the 80th time he rolled this out. It's worth it for Martha because of how deeply it tickles her.

It's the funniest thing. And he agreed. His frustration is part of the humour. He agreed when they were in the trust nest that she gets some liberties because he's always on tour and a relationship is about give and take. Absolutely. So that's the compromise. The Edge is allowed to go on tour with his little mate Bono

and all the other little U2ers. Who are the other members of U2? Who fucking knows? Who knows?

I'd hate to be them. He's not even one of those bands where everyone knows the front man and no one

else. You've got Bono and The Edge and some other I'm thinking of Bono and The Edge coming off stage after

a gig and the bass player in the guitar is like, hey, awesome gig, Bono and The Edge, and stage after a gig and the bass player on the guitar is like, hey, awesome gig, Bono and the Edge. And they're like, hey, yeah, thanks, guys. Bono and the Edge don't know. Yeah, cheers, boys.

We'll see you in the lobby in the morning. With lyrics like a mole digging in a hole, I actually wouldn't put it past Bono that he has coasted on Dude and Bro and Man for the other two band members this entire time. He has to carry around an album with him the whole time so he can look in the liner notes to remember what their names are. They're so

infrequently spoken. Great job out there. Brian? It's Ryan. Oh fuck, I don't have my specs on. I heard tell that at one gig at Hyde Park, Bono sang every song off of the liner notes. Just he was singing it from the sleeve notes of a cassette. A cassette of boy.

I think it's a good place to leave it. Yeah, okay, fair enough. Hey, well, the next few, you're going to be coming to us via satellite in Aussie? Yeah. I'm going to be- Something to look forward to? I'm going to- Oh, tell the satellite in Aussie? Yeah. I'm going to be- Something to look forward to? I'm going to-

Oh, tell the people of Aussie where you are, mate. I'm going to update my comedy website, which is available at guymontcomedy.com, with all of the dates. But I'm going on the Melbourne International Comedy Festival Roadshow. God, bravo for that URL as well. Mate, it's a piper, not URL. Big shout out to Will Vink, by the way.

Fan of the podcast. Very good friend of mine who actually built the website. It's a fucking sexy looking website. It is. Thank you for that. But yeah, I'm going through all weird small Australian towns. So if you're in them, I'll put the info up there. East Coast towns.

Ballarat, Bendigo, Ararat. They really sound made up, don't they? They do sound like not real places. Just going to grab a train out to Wollongong. It's like, this is a fucking kids book name. Who are you going to visit out there? Dr. Zeus? Come on! The Feelers!

I'm done. Do you want any more details on there, Guy? I'm just so happy I want to acknowledge the hard work of our sponsors and by hard work I mean hard money of our sponsors Big Pipe again if you're in New Zealand get them

otherwise we'll see you real soon on probably the friend zone I love you and we're going to go out on that just bloody excellent uh track that christopher brown has made for us so so long farewell we must be on our way you're gonna play that dastardly intro This movie's still fine. There's a colleague, a pastor. One of them dies, that guy's a squirrel. One of them's a hothead, his name is Jay.

One of them looks like Johnny Depp, and his name is Johnny Depp. Classic Maximum Joseph. I agree. You forget that films are supposed to have a point. Today. You ready? Okay, let's go. The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer. They have a point.