The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Nineteen - Fragility

Episode Date: October 21, 2018

It's the last episode before Guy goes to Europe and the mood is low. Guy and Tim have watched the film at night in bed together after a couple drinks. Observations this week range from Guy's flatmate Max needing to clean a pan to Guy's flatmate Max being a snappy dresser. Also, a fun activity ensues where the boys try to identify what each movie would be like if is focused on one of the other lead characters instead of Lenny Fader. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Good day, good person. Hello. My name's Guy Montgomery. And I am Tim Bates. And welcome to the 19th episode of The Worst Idea of All Time, a podcast in which Tim and I watch and review Grown Ups 2 once a week for 52 weeks. Why? Well, that was a question that was posited several times through the most recent viewing.

Now things have been a little different this time. We got a little cute actually with this week's podcast. We watched the movie In my bed yeah um after some white russians and red wine yeah and then and then we we didn't have the the energy required turns out if you watch grown-ups too in a bed there's a very high chance that you're not going to have energy to do anything afterwards um so we just went to sleep and now we've woken up it's a crisp auckland morning uh we're in my lounge huddled around a microphone ready to break down the movie for you one more time and then after we've broken it down this one more time we're going to be ready to break it down for you 33 more times jesus christ um and we actually got a little bit before we get into it I think we have to

we have to thank some of our listeners namely a listener in Morocco have you got the name available Tim? nah I was trying to find it

sorry keep talking we got we were we were sort of looking at each other last night saying let's just not

watch it tonight let's do it later but we got a message on our facebook page from morocco saying keep going from your boy in morocco and um and that was the message actually which pushed us over the edge similarly we received a very positive email this week yeah i was trying to find that also um struggling a little bit i see but i mean i think what's important here is that we acknowledge that these messages of support now hold weight. They are now genuinely of importance and inspiration to us as we trudge through sort of the middle leg of our journey, I suppose you could say.

I mean, if you break it into thirds, Tim, we are in the middle third right now. And that's heartening. We've done more than a third of our viewings. I guess that's heartening. But then you look at the other side of that and there's two thirds to go. You're emanating a lot of negative energy right now. You're disinterested. You're hardly making eye contact with me. I was trying to find the listener feedback.

My apologies for trying to involve other people in here. Involve? You haven't found either of the pieces of feedback. You're just staring at the apps on your phone right now yeah I'm trying to find that come on these people don't know how you feel about grown ups too

I don't like it I don't like the movie hot tip don't watch it it's rubbish come on now I've seen it 19 times that's a bad

think of all the other things in your life you've done 19 times that you enjoyed enough through 19 times have you got any okay his name who got in touch

from Morocco is Jemima. Jemima James. That's a girl's name. Here's a big keep it up boys from your listener in Morocco. It's nice to have a bit

of home with me as well as a weekly reminder not to watch the film. Two birds, one stone. Jemima, thank you so much for your message. Now, I'm asking you

in all seriousness, Tim. When's the last time you did something 19 times because you liked it so much? First thing that comes to mind is a hot shower. No, but not like a... Like a hot...

A hot shower, that's sort of... You know, I'd expect you to do that repeatedly. You've done that more than 19 times. No, no. Just the 19. Read a book

or watched something or... than 19 times but like watch what just just the 19 read a book or watched something or um that's how much you like this movie well but no more no no no more what you've confused is the um trap that we've laid for ourselves where we have to watch it this many times for a voluntary action it's involuntary well last night we tried to rope my flatmates into the experience tim came around while they were in the middle of watching a movie called closer it's auntary well last night we tried to rope my flatmates into the experience Tim came round while they were in the middle of watching a movie called Closer

it's a fantastic movie it's Clive Owen Natalie Portman look at us climbing into discussion about another movie Clive Owen

Natalie Portman Jude Law and Julie Roberts very good looking cast it was actually based on a play and it's very dramatic explores human relationships

and halfway through Tim came in. We all paused the movie, said, hi, Tim. And then Tim and I realized we had to watch this movie. We propositioned to my flatmates that they could watch it too for the first time. They've never seen it. They've both watched Closer over five times.

What do you think they did? They didn't do a podcast on the movie Closer. No. They just genuinely liked the movie that much. It's because they don't have moxie like we do. They don't have gumption like we do. You know? Yeah.

You know what I mean? And we can badmouth them all they want because I know for a fact they don't listen to this podcast. You know what my problem with Maxie is? He thinks he's so bloody great. But guess what? He was meant to clean up the pan

that Matty used to cook stir fry last night. I'm looking across the lounge. I see her just sitting there on the kitchen bench. Hey, Max, clean your fucking pan for once. Hey, Max, just do it, eh? Just one time without being told. Would that be all right with you? Just one time?

Would that be all good? Good on you, Max. I'll tell you what, though. That man's a snappy dresser. We've digressed. Did you have a shining light last night when we were watching Drunk in a Bed in your bed? My shining light was probably... Actually, no.

The students had spray-painted loser on the side of the principal's car. I thought that was really funny. And the principal wasn't angry or like, I'm going to find out the perpetrators of this crime. He was like, and they spelled everything correctly. These can't be my students. I mean, you're going to be a walkover

if that's your attitude towards kids spray painting your baby. He called the car his baby. And then, somehow they, I mean, you know, one of our favorite lines,

hey, that's my laptop. That's not waterproof. Yeah. How did the kids get his laptop? Well, he's inept, this principal. That's clear. I mean, he can barely dress himself. Well, he's inept, this principal. That's clear. I mean, he can barely dress himself.

No, that's his favourite T-shirt from when he was 12. Yeah, but if he's got the kind of... If he's got the mind of someone who thinks that that's an acceptable thing to wear while you are the principal of a high school on the final day before the summer, like, you've got some mental problems. I guess this thought is opening up a whole new world of possibility for me, and that, I mean maybe Maybe elements of this

Grown ups 2 world Are slightly surreal It's not meant to be taken As a read on the universe In which we exist But maybe it's a slightly Augmented reality Well

There's a lot of Tips of the hat to that Because When the guy Who's dressed as Papa Smurf Wait It's the same guy

Yeah Oh my god Maybe he's the only Fantastical element In the grown ups universe He's same guy? Yeah. Oh my God, maybe he's the only fantastical element in the Grown Ups universe. He's like a wizard. He's the warlock. Maybe he's walked into this universe.

Sorry, I'll finish that thought because not everyone's seen the movie 19 times. The principal attends the Faders' big kick-off the summer party at the end of the movie, and he's dressed as a Smurf. And this is an extension of something set up earlier. When he's saying his goodbye speech

over the loudspeaker to the whole high school, some of the kids climb in through his roof and pour blue paint all over him. And it turns out it's enough blue paint to completely stain his body from head to toe. Semi-permanently, the way that he tells it. And then he dresses as Papa Smurf. He's in a tree getting drunk while the party's going on.

And then he jumps down when the fight starts erupting lands on some people and turns them all blue four people turns them blue from head to toe with what i can assume is dried paint so he is fantastical in that sense that's so cool i wonder if he's the only fantastic i mean nick they kill and he survives so that's kind of a fantastic a very cartoonish world isn't it really if you think about it but but it's not enough to be kind of cartoonish in style it's just there's a couple things where they got lazy

and didn't want to adhere to real rules think about Officer Dante on the roof in the skis that could happen Shaquille O'Neal

I could do that Shaquille O'Neal throwing that blonde guy like 500 metres yeah that's fantastical man I don't know

you had a shining light did I? yeah you told me this is my shining light remember? do you remember a shining light did I? yeah you told me this is my shining light remember? do you remember what it was? I remember it was it's not my job

to remember your shining light I remember it was near the front of the movie something I enjoyed today was the artwork that's in the fader's house because I'd never noticed it before and it's just like

every time that I see the movie now and I notice something I didn't notice before it's like oh thank god there's something else that I didn't... Yeah, I found some more continuity errors too. I don't remember them all, but the yoga mats were too close together.

Yeah, I remember that. Squat aerobics. Yeah. They do the wide shot and the yoga mats feather apart, and then they go in for the tight, and they're too close together. You're not fooling anyone, guys. Hey, this is a nice email that we got, Guy. This is truly my shining light, but it's not in the movie.

Alistair Wakely says, Hey, Tim and Guy, I'm really enjoying your Worst Idea of All Time podcast. If, in the future, someone launches a Kickstarter-style website that aims to raise money to find therapy after creative projects going wrong, I'd be happy to chip in for it for you guys. As a participant in your misery, wrong i'd be happy to chip in for it for you guys as a participant in your misery uh is interesting oh an interesting thing happened during episode 18 at 23 minutes and 12 seconds in i suddenly found an overwhelming need to see the movie for myself i hated your warning to not watch so far

but i will defy you this weekend and watch it secretly on my laptop in my garage keep up the good work cheers al now i wonder what was said that's a great message what i oh i can pull that up what i wonder is is he who are you watching it secretly from because it's not a secret from us anymore al or anyone are you in an abusive relationship with grown-ups too and you're hiding it from your partner or your kids i mean we don't know a lot of your backstory but i want to know what we said that was so intriguing... Oh, goodness. That was so intriguing in the last episode

that it made him want to watch the movie. Because we've warned you guys so many times to not, you know? No, but it does... We must be approaching critical mass. I mean... 2312. That's what we're looking for here. Are we... This is...

Oh, no. Hold up Let me turn that down Alright 20 This sounds like An awful Awful Couple of people singing

Come on In the meantime We've got to think of a top Top three as well For this watch I'll tell you what My top three drinks That I drank before I watched

The movie last night Boom Red wine Boom White Russians And boom I had a beer too So those are my top three drinks that I drank before I watched the movie last night, boom, red wine, boom, white Russians, and boom, I had a beer too. So those are my top three. Wow, that's a real hot mess you put inside yourself. Yeah, no wonder I fell asleep. My top three moments in the movie last night were my top, oh, fuck, bro, this is a bad moment in the podcast.

I just don't have a top three you don't have one at all okay well while you're thinking Guy let's have a listen to the bit that Al was talking about in last week's episode

that made him want to watch the movie well right we've talked about this we have not we have not talked about this I just sprung it on you now

um I mean I'd do it, yeah. Oh, okay. He's talking about the moment when I revealed that if Grown Ups 3 ever gets made, we're going to watch it for two years in a row. That's not a real revelation, by the way.

That was a joke revelation. Well. Is it? Look at us. Look at where we are right now. Yeah, let's paint a picture. I don't mean, we don't need a physical picture for these people. We're hunched over a microphone. I think you need a mental picture for yourself

alright don't go there man I don't need a mirror up to myself right now if there's one thing I don't need right now we haven't even watched it 20 times yet of 52 and you are fucking miserable you can't even bring

you can barely bring yourself to watch the movie you're suggesting that we should watch the movie you're suggesting that we should watch the sequel to the sequel 104 times yeah i am saying that guy because sometimes good things are hard you're loaded with self-loathing things that are worthwhile aren't easy not everything's easy guy in fact some of the best stuff's hard you gotta work you gotta work for it you gotta work at it there There's no no, no, no. Just no. Last night, the other thing that you said, which was quite funny,

was you thought, maybe we've fucked up here. Maybe you need to have seen, and this tells me how deep you are in the world of this podcast, maybe you need to have seen Grown Ups 1 to appreciate Grown Ups 2. Yeah, exactly. Maybe there's a whole lot of stuff that we're not fully getting down with. And I said that this movie is so outlandishly terrible that there's no way a prequel,

well, it's not a prequel because it was made before it, there's no way the first grown-ups can qualify this movie existing. But I think you should be open to the possibility. I'm open to the possibility that grown-ups is better than grown-ups too. I'm not open to the possibility that I'll watch grown-ups

and then suddenly a whole lot of stuff will click into place and I'll look at Grown Ups 2 and think, that movie is actually a triumph. It's very clever. It's loaded with callbacks to the first film. Here's what got me thinking about it. Because I was like, in the first movie, I kind of know loosely what happens.

I think they all go to a holiday house, a cabin in the woods style thing for a holiday. All the families, they come together. And so I think the kids are in there sort of as bit parts and maybe you meet Keithy and Greg, Adam Sandler's kids and you're like, what a... And Becky But I'm saying, what if you meet

those two boys and you're like, what a dynamic duo of comedy, they were so funny, I want to see a movie where they're more prominent in it but then they just kind of fucked up the execution with Grown Ups 2 Is that a possibility? That wouldn't change the fact that Grown Ups doesn't make Grown Ups 2 good. Oh, yeah. What you said in that sentence was they fucked up the execution.

So Grown Ups 2, regardless of whether or not you've seen the first one, is still rubbish. But it might add a bit of enjoyment. It might justify it a little bit more. I'm sure it does. It has to justify it a little bit. No. Should stand on its own. No. Should stand on its own. No. I think I've been thrown because I was talking to Jermaine,

Jermaine Ross, long-time listener of this podcast, and he said that he went and saw, well, he didn't go, he saw it on TV, Movie 43. Have you heard of that? It's a skip movie, isn't it? Yeah. With a star-studded cast.

It's a huge cast. Hugh Jackman was like the first person they signed up to it, and then from there they managed to sign up all these other people. Who were all just trying to get laid with Hugh Jackman was like the first person they signed up to it and then from there they managed to sign up all these other people and um who were all just trying to get laid with Hugh Jackman yeah oh yeah and why wouldn't you I'd sign up to a movie with Hugh Jackman involved attached to the project but apparently it's one of the like I've just heard so many terrible things it's the worst movie ever made that it's the least funny movie ever made that's terrible and Jermaine was like yeah I heard all those things those things. I watched it. I thought it was funny. So I think that kind of

threw me a little bit and I was then trying to go back and justify other movies in my life or movies that I hadn't seen which I assumed were bad. It got me thinking is what I'm saying.

But there's always going to be movies which get critically panned which you specifically enjoy. Yeah, Van Wilder, Party Liaison. Am I right? I don't think they got too critically panned, which you specifically enjoy. Yeah, Van Wilder Party Liaison. Am I right? I don't think they got too critically panned.

I'm pretty sure it did. But I don't understand. No, I still don't follow your logic, your line of thinking here, and that watching grown-ups might suddenly make grown-ups too good. If you've already watched a movie 19 times and haven't enjoyed it, the likelihood of one thing, one trigger, suddenly flipping your whole reading and perception of the movie on its head

to the point that you go, actually, no, this is brilliant. I was wrong. It's highly unlikely. Yeah, you're right. I'd say nigh on impossible. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. You're right.

What I'm trying to say is that I think my whole logic got thrown a little bit by finding out that Jermaine enjoyed movie 43. But then again, maybe Jermaine's just an idiot. You know? That's a possibility too that's a possibility there's a world of possibilities out there

hey I noticed a fly in this yeah you did in the viewing last night that was exciting for me

because I'd never noticed it where was it for all of our people who are also watching the movie this many times

super early in the movie we're in the fader's household and is it when they're coming down the stairs

I think it's yeah like a couple shots after that Bowser's just about to be scared off by the deer that's coming to the house and uh yeah you can you can see a fly move from right to left of shot um it's there it's in there i saw um i wonder if the fly gets credited i'll bet bet it doesn't. Yeah, almost definitely not. You'd think they would have taken it out in post. You would think.

Maybe the editor put it in in post. Do you reckon there's more Easter eggs waiting for us? I think someone involved in the operation was like, you know what, I'll bet you two people watch this movie 52 times. Actually, there's another theory you posited last night, Tim. You thought maybe they made a great film and the editor dropped the ball. Yeah. Now talk about that.

Well, I was basing that on last week we watched some behind-the-scenes footage and deleted scenes. And the deleted scenes were, they were pretty funny, I thought. And again, you mentioned this, it might be just compared to the movie that we've been exposed to so many times.

It was just the change is good was what we experienced. Change alone made us happy. But nah, they were funny. They were at least moderately funny. And those were the ones that got left on the cutting room floor. Yet inexplicably,

the lines that were left and the takes that were left in the actual finished product did terrible. How much control was the editor wielding? I mean, do you feel like those deleted scenes were ad-libbed

and Adam Sandler and the fellow writers have too much ego that they said, alright, that might be funnier, but we're going to use the movie that we wrote. I actually don't think Adam Sandler cares enough. Like, I believe that he'd be that big a dick, but I don't think anyone cared enough about Grown Ups 2

to make that kind of call. That was another moment, but they were laughing. They were laughing behind the scenes when they were making the movie. They had a cold, dead look in their eyes, but they were laughing, Tim. Who was laughing? Adam Sandler, Dennis Dugan, Chris Rock I saw laughing. They were all laughing at moments. Chris Rock doesn't even laugh in character in the movie.

No, that's because that's a decision he made as an actor. I see. He thought, Kurt McKenzie, he's struggling to make ends meet, maybe. This guy's not laughing at these outlandish hijinks if anything he's probably thinking i'm really neglecting my job and in doing so my family imagine if um the movie instead of being taken because loosely it's from the point of view of adam sandler i guess in the fate of family but if it was just solely from the perspective of chris rock's character and he's fucking dark that his high school friend has gone on to huge success

and has all this money and an incredibly smoking wife. Three great kids. Do you know what? This is an interesting movie. I mean, Chris Rock's character's still got a good life. He's got a beautiful, beautiful wife that I ruled off. He's got fantastic children. Oh, including his comic genius son.

Dot Ronnie. Dot Ronnie. Go Ronnie. But you can't help but compare yourself to people who are in your life, you know, your friends and stuff. And the fact of the matter is the Faders are shitting diamonds. They're so rich. And he's in relative squalor. I mean, that word relative is important here.

Because he's not, you know, then maybe David Sp relative is important here, because he's not... Then maybe David Spade's looking at Chris Rock and going... No, David Spade's too much of the positive idiot, I think, for that to let him affect him. I think that, much like his character in Joe Dirt, he's just kind of happy to just take it as it comes. It doesn't matter what's up. Okay.

Whereas Chris Rock's more cognizant of the fact. Kevin James is the most cognizant of the fact.vin james doesn't love his kids or his wife correct anyone if we should be following anyone in a movie about bitter jealousy over success we should be following kevin james and he just lashes out at every he takes it out on everyone around him he just makes mean-spirited jokes about his kids to himself in front of his kids and wife. To himself. This is what me and Guy keep banging on about every time it's on now. In that scene, it's just like, who are you making these puns to at the expense of your children? No one else is there to enjoy them. You're just making them for your own self-gratification.

Boosting the self-confidence here with RJD2. Yeah. He's a dick. That's not good. He's a dick. And so, I mean, God, to be in that mind for a whole movie would be terrifying it would be a

psychological thriller if we were following Kevin James' character certainly would so like if we were actually let's go through let's assess the genre

if we were following each of the cast characters right if we were going through the eyes of Chris Rock's character McKenzie

it would be less of a pure comedy and more of a dramedy. Yeah, yeah. There'd be sort of moments of existential... There'd be these long sort of wandering shots of just Chris Rock walking around the town. Because they pass a whole day, but it was an action-packed day in the world of Grown Ups 2. I feel like if he's got one appointment between 8 a.m and 4 p.m that he's still neglecting there's gonna be big swaths of

footage of him just walking through a park yeah in autumn even though it's first day of summer in this movie it's autumn and the leaves are falling down around him he's just looking down at the leaves wondering okay i mean as the leaves as the leaves fall so too does i don't know his expectations of what his life could become as the time slowly slips away and he moves further into the grave and he realises that actually this is it this is my life it's not going to change, it's not going to improve

this is what it's all about you could soundtrack it we've moved beyond the realms of dramedy I'd go Kraftwerk would be how I'd soundtrack that movie oh I quite like that now, Kevin Jameswerk would be how I'd soundtrack that movie. Oh, I quite like that. Now, Kevin James, it would be insane, man.

Just a rage-filled lunatic. Here's what I'm thinking. Quentin Tarantino directs Kevin James in a revenge flick. Who's he taking revenge against? Adam Sandler. Salma Hayek was Kevin James' girlfriend in high school. Yeah. And he's kept Adam Sandler close.

Keep your friends close. And the tagline is, keep your friends close. Yeah. Keep your enemies closer. Do you know why this movie, like, wouldn't work? Because if it was the same character Kevin James is playing, who I assume Kevin James is just playing himself. He's not that good an actor.

There's no way you could get on board with him as the audience. Like, he's not even an anti-hero. Kevin James played by Jamie Foxx. So you want him to make Django, but change some of the title characters? I want Django to play Eric Lamensoff in the world of grown-ups too, but like in a different... If Salma Hayek ditched Kevinvin james at high school it's

because kevin james deserved it yeah and then no okay so get this though then kevin james comes back into the city yeah but he's had a lot of work done and now he looks like jamie fox okay was there more to that thought was that no that's the thought okay so quentin tarantino directs kevin j James' revenge action flick. About losing his high school girlfriend. It's more, it's a better movie than what we're... Oh, look, hey, no doubt, it's a better movie. Okay, and David Spade?

David Spade's movie is, I keep coming back to it, it's basically just Joe Dirt. Yeah. Which is like a fun, you get the tone right, it's just a fun comedy of downtrodden. Relaxing on it. Does that make it sound a little more classy? Last of the Garden, dig it, that's my model. And here's another one. What's the one he says about keep on trucking?

You gotta keep on keeping on. You gotta keep on keeping on. We should actually probably get that tattooed on our forearms. Gotta keep on keeping on. Yeah, just to remember. Yeah. To finish the movie. Yeah.

The other thing I wanted to talk about quickly because we're running out of time here Tim was I want to do a plug for a local movie I saw

What We Do In The Shadows which they don't really need our help they so don't there's so many local movies that are coming out this month and that one does not

need our help I know but it was fucking great yeah it was really funny and it is genuinely for me I don't watch enough movies really I don't think.

Watching any movie which isn't Grown Ups 2 now, I think this movie is making me lose perspective on how much I enjoy other movies. I know. In the same way that watching the deleted scenes of Grown Ups 2, like I was measuring them against Grown Ups 2 as the movie rather than measuring them against other comedy clips and I thought they were really great. Every movie I watch now, I'm not measuring against all movies ever i'm measuring it mostly against

grown-ups too and accordingly my perspective is skewed and saying that i thought what we do in the shadows was a fantastic time yeah it's hard to not paint cinema as a whole with a brush that has been dabbed in grown-ups too we get very very gun-shy about seeing movies now, is what I'm trying to say. That's true. But, did you see Fantail? That's another great New Zealand film. Well, I went to go and see Fantail on opening weekend. And the good news for the makers of Fantail was that it sold out.

That's good. I was just watching a New Zealand movie yesterday called Jake, which is pretty good. Oh yeah, I saw the trailer for that. Yeah. Was it good? It's fucking interesting, eh? Yeah, it's pretty good. Look, it's got a very interesting premise.

Yeah. They pulled it off, I think, and they made it for nothing. That's great. We've diverged. Do you want to know how much Grown Ups 2 took to make?

I can't remember, but it was tens of millions. It was like 40 million or something. And interestingly, this will be the last podcast we do for a little while in a room together.

The next podcast will be happening across the equator all the way from London, England to Auckland, New Zealand. Two friends unite to watch their favourite movie one more time

and then another time and then another time and another time and then another time and then another time and then another time and then I think around then I get back. And then another time and then another time and then another time and then another time and then another time and then another time and then another time and then another time

and then another time and then another time and then another time and I've lost count 33 more times what time would you prefer to do it in the day the morning or the evening

because it's about a 12 hour time difference I can't I can't we can't predict that yet that's a problem that we'll deal with over a Facebook message thanks for your feedback

don't watch the movie cheers for joining us on this the 19th That's a problem that we'll deal with over a Facebook message. Thanks for your feedback. Don't watch the movie. Cheers for joining us on this, the 19th watch of Grown Ups 2, an episode of our podcast, Worst Idea of All Time. Give yourself a clap. Lucky number 19. You've been a great audience. And take care of yourself, y'all. Live every moment.

Love every day. Because before you know it it your precious time slips away