The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Nineteen - Lusty Movements

Episode Date: October 7, 2016

NOT SPONSORED BY BLAZE PIZZA GODDAMMIT!Do you know how many cats died in the making of Milo and Otis? Let's find out. The Knife joins Timbo and GuyGuy and it's making everyone a little nervous. But it's also fun. In this tired ep, hear Timbly recount an amazing account of someone's life which hopefully doesn't exist in the real world and join The Flash as he shows his anger at app developers again. Is Elon Musk a cool name? Probably.Go to www.blazepizza.co.nz for live show tickets for San Fran and Portland! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a Little Empire podcast. Visit us at littleempirepodcast.com and on Instagram at littleempirepodcasts. Are you going to play that dastardly intro again? Intro, intro, intro, intro, intro, intro. Ow! This movie's still fine. This is a co-ed pastor.

One of them dies, that guy's screw. One of them's a hothead, his name is Jay. One of them looks like Johnny Depp and his name is Johnny Depp. Classic Maximum Joseph. Whee! Ah! You forget that films are supposed to have a point.

Hello and welcome to the worst idea of all time. I'm not going to attempt the episode. I've been chastised for getting the number wrong too many times. It's Timbo here. And Guy, it really doesn't matter how many times you do something, so long as each time you do it, you do it with conviction and a true heart. And I like to think that in spite of the hardships that we've been facing in the recent weeks, Tim, that is an attitude we've brought forward as we extend the olive branch of friendship

to our friends contained within the Zac Efron vehicle. We are your friends. Do you think we're showing them kindness and friendship? air front vehicle we are your friends do you think we're showing them kindness and friendship oh you know actually uh when you pull out a little bit look at the bigger picture we probably aren't being the best friends to them i don't think we aren't very open-minded anymore i don't think we're bringing open mind minds to the friendship you need an open mind to a good friendship an open heart and open, and no open wounds. That's what I've always played by.

We don't want to give people infections. We're not bringing total honesty to the friendship. I think we're talking a lot of shit behind our friends' backs. It's not healthy. I don't think that's good. No. We're just... I think...

I think I think No The friendship's not Going toxic There's hope for it yet But I don't think That the channels of communication Between us and the characters In the movie

Are very open right now I feel pretty disrespected By the movie this week Pretty disrespected Anyone in particular? Everyone who isn't Paige Really Paige is It was Paige's to lose The whole time this week Anyone in particular? Everyone who isn't Page.

Really, Page is... It was Page's to lose the whole time this week, and he didn't do it. He left it all out on the screen. You are gravitating, I can't help but notice, more and more towards Page. Yeah. Not just as a... I'm sorry to blend fact with fiction here,

but not just within the realm of the worst idea of all time, but as a general mentor in your life, you're starting to look up to Paige in quite an overwhelming way, I think it would be fair to say. How can you not spend this much time with a living legend and not have it bleed into your life a little bit and guide your way like some sort of gigantic human lighthouse guiding me through the stormy waters that are my life?

Any problems with that? He's a good lighthouse. He's crazy. I wonder if he was part of Lifehouse. Remember what that band was called? That Christian band? Was it Lifehouse? What is a Lifehouse?

I never considered that before because the lighthouse makes sense. And I think it might have slipped under my radar as I was a kid because whenever I heard the term lifehouse, I talked it up to lighthouse i was like yeah i get it they're at the beach and they're a big like guiding light of um for ships sailors i think they also sailed under the radar because of the lighthouse family and so you thought there's the lighthouse family and lifehouse and because you're so busy distinguishing between the two separate bands you forget to realize that lifehouse isn't actually a turn of phrase or a place at all or Lighthouse Family and Lifehouse. And because you're so busy distinguishing between the two separate bands, you forget to realize that Lifehouse isn't actually a turn of phrase or a place at all.

Or maybe even a band, in retrospect. No, I think it is. Is it? Is there a Lighthouse Family? They sing, Cause we are gonna be this forever, Forever You and me Yeah, that was them. And Lifehouse, I feel like, sang songs that were like,

Can you take me higher? Shit like that. Real House of the Dog. Like, just upbeat Christian rock. I don't know what House of the Dog is. What I'm trying to ask you, Tim, I don't think that's the correct name of the, Tim, if you'd give me a chance, is whether or not you think it's healthy

the amount that you are modelling your real life behaviour on the eccentric, I think it'd be fair to say, behaviour of Paige from the film We Are Your Friends. You think it's excessive? I'm just asking what you think of it, and if you've noticed it affecting your life in any

unusual ways well there was one time last week where i was getting on a bus yeah and you know how you've got an automatic tag on tag off ticket the machine was giving me some shit and i started yelling at it and i couldn't help but chain a little bit of page while it was happening what was the machine doing? Well, the machine wasn't doing anything because it's an inanimate object, so it can't respond to things, which is kind of the perfect time to roll in with a page attitude and approach to life. You tapped your card against it.

Yeah, a few times. Refused to work. It just said... It didn't say anything. Was there a screen on which it said uh malfunction or anything this had a big red x he cannot read but that was just the display text that came up and how do you react to that hey what's going on here it's a machine it's not working supposed to take my ticket i'm getting on the bus here my name's spindly timbly wimbley what's going on i don't understand who's fixing this machine

you're driving a bus i can see a couple people here your cards seem to work fine does that mean the problem rests with me maybe it's picking up another rfid chip in my wallet here i don't know i should move the cards around again it's okay i'm gonna walk see you goodbye babish see that to me uh that is more there's a much more comic and friendly cadence than the way Paige speaks. And also the attitude, the willingness to leave the bus on account of the error of the machine. That's not a very Paige attitude. To me, it's... Yeah, but what I didn't...

You sound like Rodney Dangerfield's nephew. What I couldn't express and put through in the story, in the telling of it, is that while I was delivering that diatribe i walked right to the back of the bus and then through back to the front again so at the first like when i started walking i took off my jacket which i was wearing because i wear suits like page does now all the time threw that at someone who was sitting on the bus and then on my way back through picked up the jacket again it's kind of like touch the back and then roll back in so it was sort of like i guess if you were watching me do it it was a bit more a guy muttering to himself and then get on and get off a bus but did the you didn't you weren't on it long

enough for it to to drive one zone or anything or one night in and out so you got on get my card read and got off at the same at the same stop yeah then walked. And you threw, so you went in. Yeah. And rejected your card. That's right. Three times. And you were mumbling to yourself, hey, what is going on?

What's going on here? I get no respect. I get no respect from this machine. You took your jacket off, you threw it to the back of the bus. Take my jacket. You picked it up. Oh really, take it.

You kept talking and then you got off the bus. Yep. And that was, would you would chat is this you channeling page from the movie we are your friends or is this a separate issue is this a whole different one yeah no no that's me channeling page that's the ghost of page coming into me at different times i might have um yeah it's interesting when i when you started telling me about how you were sort of uh embodying a lot more of page's life mantras and chakras into your life uh i thought you were i was afraid

you were taking on maybe some of the more aggressive or manipulative streaks that page shows in the movie you just gesticulated so hard that you you whacked down thumped on the headphone thingy you pulled the headphones right out of my ears and now they don't work are they not going yeah fiddle with it there we go now it's good you're welcome uh anyway what were you saying while you were gesticulating wildly oh god damn it was such a fragile train of thought and i feel like we might have bent the rails it was about it about Paige's influence on me and how you think it might bring out more of a mean streak in me

or something similar. I guess that was my curiosity, yeah. I feel like you would be a better judge of that. It's hard to judge yourself. You're always there. No, that's what I'm saying to you now. When you told me that you were embodying a lot more of Paige's persona and your real world persona, I was quite worried.

That resonates with me because you have become a bit more of a dickhead recently. Well, no, I haven't been interacting with you a lot more of Paige's persona in your real world persona. I was quite worried. That resonates with me because you have become a bit more of a dickhead recently. Well, no, I haven't been interacting with you a lot, but I was afraid that you were just being more of a dickhead in general. But by the sounds of things,

you've taken on some of his more sympathetic and enjoyable traits, like his affable accent and his sort of Guido-like aspects. A little bit of an unhinged persona, just not waiting for any answers to questions before rolling into the next. Not in a threatening way,

sort of in a gentle, you know, manic way. Yeah. You weren't a threat to anyone on the bus. You were just an oddity. Yeah. A curiosity that was holding up the bus. A passing fancy. A summer fling holding up the bus. A passing fancy. A summer fling, if you will.

Speaking of summer flings, you seem to be developing a lovely little friendship with the knife this episode. Knife came out to play. That's true, yeah, yeah. I was practicing a lot of my... You just grabbed it. That's what that dead air was.

Practicing my motions, my knife motions. And now I understand why you get so freaked out when I pick it up and start playing with it, eh? And I've got to tell you, I mean, part of me initially when I picked up the knife was like, well, I've sort of got... I got my hands on it first. I've got license to brandish the knife as I so choose.

And part of me was thinking, well, that'll learn Tim for always brandishing the knife sort of you know you'll get to see how it is to i see to be the other person in the room that's right it's sharp and then but shiny i that was a thought but then by the time i started actually brandishing the knife with you know lusty movements myself so i think i wasn't even thinking about you. I was like, oh, wow. Yeah.

It's fun to practice your motions. Isn't it? Just a stab, stab and like a cut, cut. It's weird, isn't it? Knife's got a hold over you. It's got a hold over you, Mr. Jenkins. It doesn't really. It's just, you know, I would never carry a knife.

You were talking a lot about you figured out a new knife motion you could do where you'd flick it open in one movement. Well, I didn't realize because it is sort of a flick knife, but it's quite a stiff one. But I didn't realize that you actually could flick it out with one hand and the blade would produce. But we cracked that nut today. You were talking a lot about how you might be able to

have it on sure you hide it on the back of your belt directly behind you and then you could like produce it and flick the blade out in one motion why are you thinking about a circumstance where you've got to produce a knife quickly because i was looking at the knife at the time that's what you do you go how can i use this every day no i hold it and i think this is fun when i'm uh practicing my motions on the air but i don't think about it beyond practicing my motions on the air do you think this is the problem with the gun debate in america we can all agree it's fun to play with guns at a time and place i people get very confused yeah about where that should end uh let's think of these two guys you know sharing a knife in a podcast studio

what's the worst that could happen whose guns are much more uh yeah yeah that's true like much greater potential danger though you could quite easily stab me with that i have no desire the time not the inclination oh good on you monty my good friend so how many times do you think we've seen the movie now it feels like there was about 15 no no it's closer to 20 oh it's definitely really lost track well'll tell you what it is. We're definitely in the quicksand now. When you first step in quicksand, the first thought you have is an,

oh my God, I'm in quicksand. It's like, ah, this ground's a little heavy. Yeah. But it's not a reason to turn around. It's just something that your brain registers. Yeah, you just notice it. And you keep marching forward. It's the sort of third, fourth, to maybe 15th to 20th steps

when you know you have this sinking quite literal realization that oh no the ground doesn't just get heavier you're in quicksand friend and uh it's there where then where does your mind go when that happens like when you finally kind of when when you realize you're in the quicksand suddenly it stops being relevant how many steps you took into it because the overwhelming thing that you notice is hey i'm in the quicksand i mean details are thrown you know to the side caution to the wind but do you then kind of struggle and try to wriggle out all at once or do you keep you're in the quicksand and you think now i've been i've not been in quicksand, but I've definitely read an article about what happens when you're in quicksand. And I've seen quicksand in movies.

And the first thing you always remember in that circumstance is don't panic. Yeah. So you're in the quicksand and you're definitely going down slowly, but you're also not panicking. And you're just there. And you're just sort of assessing the state of affairs and rifling through your brain to try and remember any other information you have, you know, vis-a-vis escaping the quicksand.

So you're kind of going through that Rolodex of TV shows, movies, books you may have read referencing when a character's fallen into quicksand. Suddenly your mind flicks into the never-ending story and that beautiful horse gets in there. In the quicksand? In the quicksand suddenly your mind flicks into the never-ending story and that beautiful horse gets in there in the quicksand in the quicksand and um starts getting gobbled up and they try to get that horse free but that poor fella goes down might be a lady horse can't remember i've not seen the never-ending story but when you say a horse in quicksand yeah my immediate thoughts aren't of a horse escaping quicksand.

Yeah, well, that's the tragedy of it. Four moving parts. It's difficult to hold steady with four moving parts. You're right. I mean, are we the ideal animal? What do you want to be? If you're in quicksand, okay, so here's the circumstance. It is a given that you're in quicksand, but it's not a given what you are.

You reckon a snake? Yeah. you're in quicksand but it's not a given what you are you reckon a snake yeah i don't know why but i think um what do the feet of a platypus look like they're webbed yeah perfect that's what i need or like a goose i'm that because what you want is a lot of distributed surface area you're right the horse is the worst big heavy huge behemoth of a, and then pushed down by these four little pins. Yeah. And they're going to pierce right through. Of course the horse is going to get stuck in quicksand.

We should be riding a platter pie. Well, we should be developing bigger platter pies, certainly. So you're in the quicksand, and your thought doesn't turn to the details of how you're in the quicksand or why you're in the quicksand. It sort of just turns to, you know, distracting yourself from being like, oh,'re in the quicksand or why you're in the quicksand it sort of just turns to you know distracting yourself from being like oh i'm in quicksand it's sort of like well so long as i'm here i better make something of the moment yeah you could have a flashback your life could flash before your eyes from uh infancy to the moment right now or maybe even as far as

projections into the future of the life you could have led as you sing into the quicksand. First vision, you're coming out of this watery, warm, red hole where everything's just shapes and the air is bracing and the temperature is cold and there's lots of people looking at you and figures that you can't make out yet

and everything's so bright and painful and awful and all you can do is scream as hard as you can. You out yet and everything's so bright and painful and awful and all you can do is scream as hard as you can boom you're in the playground it's year 10 you are 12 years old you've just pooed your pants accidentally on the jungle gym no one's noticed yet you think you can probably get away with this boom 16 years old uh you're in the principal's office you just beat the shit out of a guy who still called you scotty shitty pants because he referenced that time when you were 12 years old and absolutely cacked yourself on the playground and everyone found out because you goofed on your quick thinking and decision making abilities boom boom you're 20 years old you're in therapy trying

to unwind decades of bullying brought on by a public school system that won't recognize that some kids learn differently. Boom, boom. You're 30 years old. You're sitting in the divorce settlement court. A judge is looking at you. Suddenly, it all comes down the crushing weight of the reality of what the relationship with the one person who you allowed to let love you has become.

In this modern era, two children that don't love you has become in this modern era two children that don't love you a wife that can't stand being around you and a team of lawyers trying desperately to take as much of your hard-earned capital as possible boom boom you're 45 your son is on his deathbed there's been a horrible car crash he's in an induced coma they're about to pull the life support. You never managed to tell him properly that you loved him because you were grappling so desperately with your own insecurities and inadequacy as a father that you couldn't recognize the relationship which you bore out with this young man and have irrevocably flawed. There's no way to reach him now. He's

about to die. Boom, boom. You're're 68 years old you're in a retirement village there is no real reason for you to be there except for the fact that no one has left who cares about you or even knows your name and you crave some sort of human contact physically you are fit mentally you are all there but emotionally you are still the same zero-year-old that bore its way out of your mother's womb and contributed nothing to the people around you. You're 72, still of able-minded body, finally trekking the Himalayas. You look to your right. A large, amorphous-looking bog sits in front of you.

You make a bet with yourself. I bet I could get across that strange, amorphous swamp. You take one step. You think, hmm, the ground's a little heavier. But you take another step because that's all you think. You just think the ground's a little heavier. Within 5 to 15 to 20 steps, you realize you're in quicksand and you think you know what after the endless series of unfortunate incidents and fuck-ups

that my life has been maybe i deserve to be in the quicksand and you relax you let the quicksand wash over you and then a snake slides across your back. And you look up and you see the snake. And then from in front of you, you see what looks but cannot possibly be, surely you must be hallucinating, a horse-sized platypus, astride of which is your daughter, 55 years old. A look on her face which says, Dad, I forgive you and I love you. She rides the platypus onto the amorphous bog. It stands on top of your head and you meet your maker.

That would be the metaphor to describe how you feel about our watch number? Yeah, I reckon that's a pretty accurate metaphor. That's about the feeling? That's about the mood in the room? You really are. You got a head full of steam, dude. That was good stuff. It's amazing what happens when you just dig deep, eh?

What was your shining light, Tim, to bring this thing back into the realm of reality i wrote down a note and i'm going to try and remember it because you would think that the act of me writing down the note would implant it in my memory more i don't want to rely on my cell phone for this i really think i've got it i think i can get it out of my brain nope definitely can't there were two moments the first of which was when you said that there was a... I think it was during the explanation of a DJ's function and how they go about their work. As always, they showed us a rundown of different musical styles

and beats per minute that match up with those different musical styles. And during the house segment... There's an extra at the back who is barreling the camera that's how little they gave a shit about the clip they selected for house but no I think that only goes to serve its purpose and also it sort of adds credibility

to the clip within the film and therefore the research department that Maximum Joseph employed which is to say that they just wanted to find any sort of garbage-looking found... I mean, they really wanted to badmouth house music. You know that. I don't know what this big conspiracy is

against house music in this movie, but fuck, man. It's that thing of you always hate the thing that's very close to you but not you. You know, like, culturally, for example, if you're some suburban suburban middle class white kid who likes hip-hop you hate wiggers because they're like so close to being what you are but just a little bit different and that's the shit we hate the most things that are vastly different to us we're like

cool i dig that or i don't even know but you mean like the fully realized version of the thing you're afraid of being yeah if you dig past like the why yeah that's why because you're you're scared of being the thing and don't you think that's true the people you hate the most are people who are only a little bit different from you uh for the sake of debate i will i will agree generally speaking the people who i i make a conscious effort to not not get on with anyone to not actively breathe contempt towards anyone yeah but the yeah i mean there's definitely a risk of the people who i uh disagree with the most being the people who are the most similar to me but also like

fundamentally there are a few things which and what was your shining light guy probably the realization that um no it was uh actually you finished that thought probably the real I was going to do some extended riff on what we were just talking about but I bailed out and no commitment

I stand beside my decision no commitment on this kid I got commitment coming out the the wasp ass I've been sitting next to you for fucking

over a hundred weeks bro yeah I don't know what you want to see out of me that is commitment isn't it I wrote it down your one

I know what it is it's the backgammon board it's some fucking legend and props department made James Reid from the feelers and somely you know 1% more interesting in my skewed eyes because they have a backgammon board which they don't appear to use at any point they just leave it open on the

coffee book table in front of the TV but it features in at least three shots and every time I see it I think there's hope for these people yet maybe we'll get to see them at loggerheads over a pair of fucking double sixes deep in the game and

finally I'll have something to root for in this god forsaken excuse for a fucking film experience it was I just didn't really I was similar to you I just didn't have any respect I didn't have any time for anyone

you didn't have any respect eh because the movie didn't have any respect for you that's where that comes from I didn't want it's two way street there's no one no one on screen i enjoyed the only moment i really came close to getting on board with the character was when it occurred to us that maybe johnny depp is absolutely swindling these idiotic mates yes for all their worth because at the scene where they're at the overlook out point is it a quarry it's not a quarry yeah they're looking over the valley they're on like a slope uh johnny depp shows up and he's like hey here's

all our money from uh promoting those thursday nights at social and then the boys open their individual envelopes and find they've been short changed but the thing is very likely that johnny depp is the one who skimmed it off the top and he's the one who gets them this job with with bloody page as well absolutely so he's probably made some deal where it's like look everyone here gets paid 16 bucks an hour but if you tell your friends it's 12 and they go with it i'll give you two and we'll split it no doubt he gives them their envelopes all short on cash they all complain he says nothing to comfort or explain it. He doesn't acknowledge that there's been an error

or that maybe, you know, not to worry, we're going to get the rest later. He just completely lets the whole thing blow over. And then, you know, the smoke bomb he throws up, which we've complained about before, but in a different context, is to just recite the fact that he's been online looking at app developers.

Yeah. Kevin Sidestream. Captain Sidestream. Captain Sidestream is the kind of a name of a, like if he got famous though. Yeah, absolutely. Like if you got famous for making an app, it'd be like, oh yeah, that's Captain Sidestream. Why doesn't Elon Musk have a cool name like that Elon Musk

it's a cool name already yeah that's true actually that's why was there deliberately a similarity between Raymond Tusk and Elon Musk I don't think so

they're very different characters and also one of them is not real but the fictional character doesn't seem to be based at all wouldn't you you've just finished

House of Cards, haven't you? No, I've only watched a little bit. But the names phonetically are a perfect match. It's crazy. Elon Musk, Raymond Tusk. Keeping Spacey hot off the heels of that fourth season. Did that weird talking cat movie? Cats and Dogs?

No, it was worse than that i think a reboot it was like it was like similar to that but worse and i think maybe live action with that milo and otis style perhaps all power to them like honestly if you spend that much time buying goodwill with the public specifically so that you have enough you know capital to burn on that like i don't doubt for a second that house of cards was a capital and money earning enterprise for him to finally get to realize the role of a lifetime which is being a cat a live action cat and a milo and otis style 2016 reboot of the critical failure Cats and Dogs. Do you know how many cats they killed in Milo and Otis, bro? No, I don't care to find out either.

A bunch, dude. There's a scene where the cat jumps off a waterfall and they killed a bunch of cats doing it. Tragic. What does it say in the credits? I've never seen a film which openly has to acknowledge how many animals were harmed in the making of this. Now, here's the thing.

I'm pretty sure if you look at Milo and Otis, it says the same thing every other movie does, which is no animals were harmed in the making of this film. But it's just a blatant lie, which really calls into question any other time you see that label. Apparently they got through 32 Beethoven's on the set of Beethoven. Fucking hell. Yeah. Those dogs need to be put out of their misery anyway. They're so selectively bred

that maybe getting a movie to round up and holocaust them isn't the worst thing in the world. Jesus! Whoa! They're real inbred, man. They can barely breathe. What is it? A Saint Bernard?

Oh, fuck. I'm thinking of like... Pugs. British Bulldogs, maybe? You're thinking of the ones that have a life expectancy of two days and they have huge respiratory problems right out of my uncle had two of those that is not what beethoven is god damn you're right beethoven's a healthy kind of in fact is beethoven the same dog

that they send into the snow with whiskey and do they keep doing that why do i remember that from my childhood and i've never seen any evidence of that not only still being a thing but having ever existed after i got to about 14. Did you spend a lot of time with alcoholic dogs? Apparently so. In your childhood? Yeah. School principal.

Dr. Wuffenstein. But that is St. Bernard's, isn't it? They used to put a little flask of whiskey and send them out after an avalanche. So if you're in the snow, because it rose, well, I don't even know know if this is true but it's supposed to raise your body temperature so you survive a tiny bit longer whiskey is this is this something i made up i think you made it up but i don't think it was as widely available as you might have believed until this moment the information or the dog well both both but mostly the information Yeah okay weird I wonder why I don't know

Where do the things come from eh? Who knows Mostly the sky Yeah touche Good point God wakes up from a daydream And he just pushes a button Yeah

Next to his ear Yeah And he does a burp Like the new Apple pods Just like Touches his ear. No, it's nothing like those dumb fucking wireless headphones,

which are a bad idea. It's just a button in his head, a red button, and he pushes it, and then he burps an idea that occurred to him in his daydream. I like that in your vision of the supreme being of the universe, like he's pushing his own head, because that is philosophically dead right. Like if he's everything. Exactly. Yeah, he's pushing his own head because that is philosophically dead right. Like if he's everything. Exactly. Yeah, he's pushing his own fucking belly button

and producing Jupiter. Everyone's like God delegated everything to the angels. Wrong. God made angels to keep him fucking company while he did all the goddamn work. Is that the story that he delegated to the angels? I thought they did a lot of like postal work sending messages like Gabriel, lead poster.

They did a lot of postal work. sending messages. Like Gabriel, lead poster. They did a lot of postal work. But why do you think they had to show up everywhere? Because it was a goddamn shit show in there. They were losing mail. They had no system in place. There was absolutely no index. Is that the real reason why, according to certain Christian fads, that's why everyone goes to heaven?

Because the mail service is so diabolical. The only way we can hope to fill the gaps is to just overstaff the fuck out of that thing absolutely angels didn't have wings to begin with they were just regular people in suits working at a mail factory and then they kept fucking up and they go to god please or at least the ceo gabriel but please i can fix this give me wings and god was like know, if I give you wings, oh my God, that's going to be such a pain in my fucking ass because guess what everyone else is going to want? Wings. The union will be on my ass.

Yeah. You're not going to get this past the union. And also, it blows out every health insurance policy because as soon as you fuck with a basic human exoskeleton, you create a whole laundry list of different medical problems which they don't even have the paperwork for yet. Can you adjust my thingy more? Yeah, we're good.

You were exactly the right amount of vague in your request there that I could have been doing anything. It was the headphone jack, everyone. doing anything it was the headphone jack everyone well as long as we're here till we might as well whip through you know aside from just absolutely unloading on

each other and I'm frustration with six seven eight get in sentimental with James Reid. It's definitely your turn. Pressure man, all right. So James Reid appears in his own lounge with Sam Pellegrino tumbling out of his pockets. What's he doing?

Where's he off to? He's off to the store where he is trading as a barterer because he's lost all his credit cards in a drunken rage he uh trades essentially at a pawn shop 12 bottles of san pellegrino for one macbook pro box what's inside of it nothing he walks home problem solving as he goes he bends down what does he see a roach outside of the nightclub where he dj'd the night before he picks it up puts it in the box he takes another 20 paces what does he see another roach also outside of the nightclub where he DJed the night before. He picks it up, puts it in the box. He takes another 20 paces. What does he see?

Another roach, also outside of the club where he was DJing last night. For an uninitiated, a roach is the last little bit of a joint that you throw away because you cannot smoke that bit. He got so loaded up on PCP last night, he cannot possibly remember with whom or why there were roaches there or, in fact, that he was involved with the roaches in the first place at all he arrives home to find somerly and zicoli sitting on the couch he has with him a harrowing memory of the night before as he's slowly piecing the puzzle together of what exactly he did wrong in the throes of his pcp high and in his hands a MacBook Pro box loaded with but two roaches.

He says, Good day, Somaly. Zicoli, I don't know you. Could you please get rid of this box? He's not sentimental at all. He's exhausted. He doesn't know who he's talking to. He's just picked up some garbage on the street, put it on another garbage thing,

which he traded in a fucking drug frenzy. He's got no idea what he's dealing with, who is in front of him. He gives him the box says get out of here scamp so it's just garbage yeah little bits of garbage it's literally a garbage man picking up garbage i guess it is sentimental because he's unconsciously tapped into places where he hung out with sicoli to pick up that trash yeah it's also sentimental also sentimental. I mean, he turned on a dime. In picking up the roaches, he attached a certain sentimental value to them. A sentimentality, if you will. That is right.

But as he continued to walk home, his exhausted, drug-addled, hungover brain lost sight of the meaning of anything he was doing or why he was carrying the box in the first place. He held onto it for a sense of comfort, arrived home. Once he was home, he no longer needed the security blanket of the box in the first place. He held onto it for a sense of comfort, arrived home. Once he was home, he no longer needed the security blanket of the box he had been holding

during his trip back. So he offloaded it to the first person who he had no respect for and sent them packing. Fuck. Is there a barista in the house? Because this rock's just got dark No he's training to be a barterer

Same same but different Feels like all the gas that's in that tank I say we go I say we go too Here's the context everyone We've just done the live episode So firstly We both just flew in from out of town I say we go to here's the context everyone we've just done the live episode so firstly we both just flew in from out of town

and boy are our arms tired that was like four or five hours ago and then we drove in in a real hiss and a roar screaming into my driveway to try and get that live friendzone video stream working thank you so much to the hundred people

who joined us or two 200 even at one point but then i fucking couldn't figure it out for so long we we had a bit of attrition along the way the point being we rolled straight from that live friendzone into the watch and it has decimated our spirits uh to the point where we forgot to lead with the fact that we'll be doing two live shows so soon and you guys have got to please fucking come and help us sell some tickets. We've made the shows pretty cheap.

We don't need you to buy the tickets. We need you to help sell them. Yeah. We cannot emphasize that enough. No one listen. We don't want any of you there. This is exclusively for new fans. This is for friends of friends only,

but not the tier one friends. It's called the Friends of Friends Zone Tour. But it's happening in San Francisco, California on Friday, October 21st at the Children's Creativity Museum. They've got a theater there. The tickets aren't available for sale yet, but we will. They might be by now. They probably will be.

Yeah? Oh, fuck. Who knows? I'll try and put all the details. We'll always be on our Go to our Facebook first And I'll try and redirect And our website Blaze Pizza to

Yeah To the bit on our website Where the tickets will be And then We're also going to do Saturday October 22nd In Portland At the

Clinton Clinton Street Theatre Between 9 and 11 So the San Fran show on Friday between 9 and 11 so the San Fran show on Friday between 9 and 11pm those aren't streets yeah that would be 10th street

by the way do the maths dummy anyway that's happening there's nothing any of us can do about it we can't change our minds

we've paid for the flight so please help us repay the bank. You haven't made a decision yet. I mean, the world is your oyster, but we are very much inside of an oyster that is threatening never to open. Did I mention the tickets are $20? Did you mention it? Neither of us did, and why would we? Okay, I won't mention it.

Yeah, please don't bring it up. It's a real soft spot for me. Bye, everyone. Bye, Tim. Ow! This movie's still fine. There's a colleague who passed out. One of them dies.

That guy's screw. One of them's a hottie. His name is Jay. One of them looks like Johnny Depp. And his name is Johnny Depp. Classic Maximum Joseph. I agree. Ah!

You forget that films are supposed to have a point. Thanks for listening to this podcast. If you're thirsty for another, why not try The Male Gaze? It's The Male Gaze. Let's just have a wee crack into the parents of Rugrats. Oh, love this topic. Yeah yeah it's huge okay so the there's a lot of talking points as of which parents are gay and which parents aren't yeah i mean i think the ultimate sort of um gay icon in the whole cartoon of rugrats is angelica's mum charlotte pickles oh

absolutely what a hero She's a hero She's a boss She's a single mum? No no no She's got a husband Because her husband is Well he's never on the scene