The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Seven - Fricker

Episode Date: April 14, 2015

Australian comedian Gen Fricker joins Tim and Guy for a hugley disappointing watch of Sex and The City 2. As a 'Sex' fan, Gen is thoroughly hurt by the movie and wastes no time in lighting the fuse on a feminist hurricane of a podcast. The lads new bestie, Gen provides a much needed take from a fan of the original series and discusses live tigers being nailed to walls, taking drugs in a cupboard and what friendship is all about. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ladies and gents, welcome to the worst idea of all time. What are you doing? I'm trying to be Rickard. Rickard, oh. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the worst idea of all time from Denmark. This is episode numero... Seven. My name's Guy Montgomery.

My name is Tim Batt. And we're joined by the delightful Jen Fricker. Yay! Oh my god, I'm so excited. Jen is an amazing comedian from here in Australia. Sydney, Australia. And she's just watched the movie. Jen, you're a Sex and the City fan.

Jen, did you love it? Did you have a good time? I had a terrible time. Tell me why. Okay. Well. I like... So yeah, I'm a genuine fan of the TV series.

I watched a bit of The Carrie Diaries, which is like about Carrie's early years in the early 80s. Was it good? I heard it was good. It was fine. Yeah. And, sorry, I'm real sick too. Don't worry about it. This film just dismantled the beautiful legacy

of the tv series i think is it fair to argue that we that if you're a true fan of the tv show you would sort of mentally kill this from that legacy and you're like this is just a separate money making entity it's not part of what i fit what i loved i don't know because i re-watched the entire series like very recently and i was like fell in love all over again yeah as you do and then i was like a bit when we sat down this morning i was like oh i like this is refreshing my mind i'm really excited about this you're positively excited yeah and then oh man yeah the noises i made during that yeah i made those before. There's a real disappointment in the extreme.

It hurts. It hurts. And I was saying this before while watching it, how, like, the TV show was great because it was, like, at the time, it was just so, like, the fashion was so, like, amazing and whimsical and ostentatious. And the characters were so real and so edgy. But then, like, like it just they just held on to it in the most cynical awful way so now all the fashion in this film is like too much and too ostentatious and they're like that's what you want your little grubs you want crazy you want crazy hats i got i gave you crazy hats and then they're like oh you want samantha to be real real aggressive and gross here you go this is what you want you to be real, real aggressive and gross? Here you go.

This is what you want, you little grubs. Give us your money. This is what you love, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. You want Miranda spouting facts? Here you go, you little plebs. Exactly. What do you want?

Charlotte just being a fucking nuisance all the time? Coming right up. Yeah. We're just looking at a portrait of four women in their 40s just disintegrating. Yeah. It's awful. It's grim. It's awful it's grim it's so grim and it's long and it's cynical and it's it hurts on a deep level and it makes me so upset and it just like why would you do this this amazing beautiful thing that you spent so long creating i do it for the money baby for the money you um don't have to be 100 accurate on this because i know your memory is a bit sketchy but

you're telling me before like the movie almost didn't happen like they had to really force the gals to get back together at the end of doing because what happened with the first movie were they all on board for that or did they even think that was a bad idea i think it was like tense right but then between the first and second movie, apparently, they were like, nah, fuck this. Yeah. I like, because Sarah Jessica Parker got paid way more than everyone else. Yeah. But she was like an executive producer on the first movie.

So she was like, well, that's why. But also executive producer is like more of a, like a figurehead. Yeah. The other weird thing with this one is obviously none of the cast or crew or anyone had seen the script until the day they started shooting. Yeah. Yeah. Michael obviously was in the basement.

He was in the basement with the studio just throwing bottles of whiskey and cigars down there. Well, the director is Michael, but the EPs were throwing bottles of whiskey against it and going, Michael, come out here! We need the movie now! We've booked everything! And Michael, he came out sort of just red-faced,

ruddy and drunk and going, it's not ready, it's not ready. Yeah. They didn't care. Yeah. They went ahead and made it. And I thought, you know, I do feel like parts of it do feel a bit rushed for mine, a bit forced. We did come up with an

exciting thread to make the movie immensely more watchable today. I had such a bit of time watching it today just because of this thread. As long as it carried through. The last hour of the film, it's like, there's nothing you can do. There's no life rafts left. The Titanic's going down and you're going with it.

It's horrible. But we kind of reverse engineered this narrative based on one throwaway line that Biggs sees in the movie where he sees the market drop by 100 points. No, it starts when he's on the couch reading the newspaper and he's looking at the market

and there's just little graphs. Oh yeah, but that line is the thing that kind of triggered the whole yeah but then today like this is this happens earlier in the movie

so we noticed that in a previous episode or whatever but today yeah he's reading the newspaper and the markets aren't going well

for Mr Big and it turns out he's actually he's made a few shady investments he's got a lot of people knocking on his door for a lot of money

and this ship's going down he got caught up in all the shenanigans The subprime mortgage crisis That was him He was instrumental to it And there's a lot of clues to suggest that we've really stumbled onto a secret narrative A little B-plot that's happening throughout the movie Like that confusing fact that when he's at his office there's no computer there

Most likely because the security and exchange commission have gone in and stolen repossessed this they've grabbed it to get evidence and he's now working with them in a plea bargain so he can't tell anyone that he has to just go to work pretending like he's doing his job so that he doesn't rouse suspicion but he's going to rat on all of them to avoid jail time he and car Carrie get married, even though he famously never wanted to get married again because you can't testify against your spouse. You know too much, I have to marry you. There's other stuff.

So he's sort of trying to obviously keep his professional career together or just try and keep a handle on everything. But then also there's obviously the marriage problems he's facing with Carrie. Like she keeps wanting to go out for meals and he doesn't want to explain to her that they've spent themselves drying. They're deep in the red. So he's foraging through rubbish bins

bringing back like takeout noodle boxes that he's filled up with everyone else's leftovers. It certainly makes for a slightly more engaging watch. It's surprising how long it holds water. Oh yeah, yeah. When she buys him that vintage Rolex and you're just reading what's thinking about him thinking about all the money they don't have yeah how much she

spent and then even more when he flips it and sees it's engraved and he loses he's like the resale value is just through the floor another thing that we keep bringing up during watching the movie but we never have talked about is the fact that the crying baby is maybe we did talk about it, I don't know Charlotte's youngest child Rose Accessory children

She's got a full time nanny She's checked out of any parenting responsibilities and she doesn't have the biological bond of having had them because she adopted them, which I think is a great thing to do but it's like, well what the fuck are you up to she essentially to be fair to charlotte she has lived her life getting everything she ever wanted so it is very difficult for her she essentially adopted her children as a conversational point yeah all she does is

complain about having children they're a handbag they're a handbag to her it's disgusting but um the younger younger actor actor who plays Rose. Crying. Crying the whole movie. Very convincingly crying. Real swollen eyes. Yeah. It's like there is something wrong with the kid.

And Guy and I feel like the most likely thing is the cast and crew are just giving that baby hell through the shoot. Just yelling in its face. The brief was you can't obviously touch the child. That's illegal. But it is totally legal to yell obscenities and sort of comments in the child's face you're a piece of shit you're a childless hack baby and uh obviously babies can't completely absorb the gravity of what was being said but they can absorb like the emotion they pick up on vibes yeah yeah they do that's why i think charlotte's children are going to grow up to be

messes yeah she's so tightly wound and tense and stresses out about everything. Kids pick up on that and it wreaks havoc with them. Yeah. They become emotionally unstable. Yeah. Those kids, every time she goes into the cupboard because she needs to cry. Yeah. Like now they're going to have like a real kind of long-term thing with cupboards.

Pantries will be. Like now they're going to have like a real kind of long-term thing with cupboards. And maybe it'll be like one of them will die of like an autoerotic asphyxiation in a kitchen cupboard. Just like surrounded by smooshed half-eating. I want to be with mother. Just half-baked cupcakes everywhere and a bottle of Valium. Jesus. That's how this fucking film has made me feel. You were writing fan fiction for the children of the movie. Yeah.

And then their mother is Sylvia Plath, except without having created anything of value whatsoever. 60 rejected cupcakes. Yeah. Good God. It's so long. What did you feel today, Tim? I really liked that big storyline that we had going through.

It's funny how much it does stack up you just like every time you see his face and stuff you can jam that storyline into his reactions of what's happening just makes it more interesting the thing that it was little things I guess I'd glossed over in previous watches because they came near the end of the film

but the scene where they Samantha flips her shit and starts telling all of the Muslim men to bite her when she drops her condoms and is just like basically naked on the streets of Abu Dhabi, a very conservative neighborhood. When the feminist message is being shouted loudest.

Yeah, supposedly. And the woman who were in there in burqas and then revealed to be wearing a new range Louis Vuitton couture, just catalogue all of them and it's just like the messaging of that is fucking lunacy it's just the cultural imperialism of this movie is disgusting yeah that like it's real like white girl back of cosmo feminism it It's awful. It's so bad. They don't understand that different cultures could have different but equal values. Like that doesn't, it's not a consideration.

It's like you're not American so you're worse than us. There's that line where they're looking at the women wearing their veils and one of them has one over their mouth. And I think Carrie's's like it's almost like the men don't want them to speak yeah there's this whole kind of vague half-cooked line about how men are really threatened by women with strong voices also trying to tie political message into like islam and yeah problems that it has yeah because who's better to like pontificate on islam than white, incredibly rich women who have not left their hotel yet?

This is the issue that James Acaster had with the film as well. He was like, the messages, the conversations they sort of begin to mumble are somewhat valid, but the people who are mumbling them are literally at the bottom of the list of people who should be having those conversations. Which is a hard thing to say because then you sound like a fucking piece of shit. Because you're like, oh, you know, anyone should be able to make a feminist message.

This is like the problem with modern feminism. Let's get into it, blokes. Yeah. There's like a difference between like feminism and intersectional feminism. What's intersectional feminism. What's intersectional feminism? Exactly, right? Intersectional feminism is like a school of thought,

which is basically like your feminism does not look the same to every woman in the world, right? So it is this idea of like cultural imperialism in feminism where like Western feminists, generally women in america yeah and carrying the girls carrying the gals go to other countries and go oh oh poor women oh they they don't have the same things we do so they must have poorer lives for it and they must be oppressed yeah yeah where it's like they don't understand like the culture whatsoever like it's just completely from a white imperialist that's why they've thrown in that wonderful Miranda character. And we've talked about this before as well,

where she winds up being the most offensive of all of them in the movie because it's her job to spout half-baked facts to try and qualify everything for the movie going public and her moronic holiday friends. She only just stops short of saying what the chief export for Abu Dhabi is. It's like she's just opened the first page on a Lonely Planet guide for Abu Dhabi. She's just got the United of Abumarits wiki page on her Blackberry walker. The script is really bad.

The writing in this movie is terrible. It's so charmless. And that's the other thing about the TV show. At least Carrie's voiceovers in the TV show are really clunky and gross. But at least they're very distinctive voiceovers in the tv show are really clunky and gross right but at least like there was um like they're very distinctive you know what i mean it's like will i ever find love in new york because will i be forever a single like i don't know like a single reservation to do they're supposed to give you an insight that you can't see normally yeah behind the camera it's like the same thing when kevin spacey faces the camera and

gives you the little monologues yeah yeah a little wink at the camera whereas like a trademark of like the tv series they're like we'll just have her say it in the same voice but we won't write it michael didn't get time to write it in the script so they just got carried to ad lib it yeah like in post audio and all she did was just describe exactly what's happening on the screen one of them is she says says she's talking to Big on the phone about she wants to lock herself in a room so all she thinks about is writing. And her voiceover line is,

and all I did think about was writing until I got hungry. Cut to a cafe. And then she was like, so I called up the gals and organized the lunch or something like that, words to that effect. And it's just like, why? Just cut to the lunch. something like you know words to that effect and it's just like you why just cut to the lunch like it's so unnecessary we bought 2026 minutes worth of screen time by joe we're going to

use every single one of them do you know what i also think about when i was watching that film you know when they're always you have like tv is like the central thing and then they're watching ads yeah like all those people all these brands that were featuring those ads would have played a shit ton except amnesty international which i still maintain the sound guy they're like or you're at the end shoehorned it in just to rescue a piece of his soul for working on the foods like yeah i will do this one thing for humanity yeah i will put in one second of audio that says the words amnesty international in an ad break in this otherwise soulless, horrible shit fest of words. Okay, look, I feel like we're climbing down a very

dark well here. It's gone real grim real quickly. In an effort to lift spirits and maybe generate a bit of positivity positive discussion around the film, we have this thing called the Shining Light Gen, which we all say the one part of the movie, or you know you might have enjoyed more than one part, but the part that you enjoyed the most. Okay. So I'll get things started part of the movie, or you might have enjoyed more than one part, but the part that you enjoyed the most.

Okay. So I'll get things started. At the wedding, when Liza Minnelli comes out and that big reveal, that big wonderful reveal that by the end of the movie you can barely fucking remember happened, but you feel like you had a weird sort of really hot fever dream. She comes out and there's the two featured extras in the background of the main row. There's Pink Jacket, who just spends the whole time acting up a storm. Fucking bloody Jamie Oliver in the kitchen, that guy with acting.

You know, he's just relentless. Then there's another guy right next to him. No extra left behind. That's right. No extra left behind as you were so wisely posited. Then there's another guy. And when Liza Minnelli comes out sitting next to him, he puts his hands together in a prayer formation and looks up on high. Jobless.

Thank you, base guard, for Liza Minnelli being at at this wedding i just thought it was a lovely little moment yeah it was good from the extra i mean it was a strong offer and he probably did it in the hopes that maybe someone on the seventh or eighth watch of the film might catch on it guess what buddy i see you buddy i see you out there he out here got it okay uh mine is um well it's it's interesting because we've talked about it before but not in the context of The Shining Light but who does anyone know the name of the British actor

who plays the hotel manager he's famous I don't know his name apparently he was a famous comedian yeah he still is a person I assume

we should know anyway we don't have to know so when who is it who says because he says how was your flight and Carrie says it was like a magic carpet ride and he? And Carrie says, it was like a magic carpet ride.

And he says, how charming. Samantha says it was like a magic carpet ride. That's right. And he says, how charming. Which we've always thought was thinly veiled, like how charmingly racist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like his delivery of that line is incredibly warm. He is a very good hotel manager.

People are coming into his dojo spitting some pretty questionable shit and he it doesn't faze him yeah he's so because he got he goes on he does it again doesn't he when samantha the rug there's the rugby teams there and samantha says did they do they bring their balls yeah and the hotel manager says yes they have many balls they have many balls just like not entertaining his shitty double entendre. But he does it with a smile as well. It's not like he's like, yeah, they've got a lot of balls. He's cordial, but he's firm and fair as well.

Because later on when he's dealing with the bloody sexcapades of Samantha Jones. Sexcapades? I haven't heard that word since like 1998 Jen love the portmanteaus Jen threw up all over herself and asked when they said interfunction on the movie she actually started projectile vomiting

more like interfunction and then I threw myself out the window that's right and then you climbed back up the stairs with a broken leg and said, I'm really sorry. I don't know what just happened. I really want to make it through to the podcast. What was your shining light, Jen? Well, I liked the swans at the wedding.

I thought that was very tasteful but extravagant at the same time. I'd really like actually as awful as that scene was, I really like the scene where carrie and the other ladies are judging all the women in a true feminist sense uh because that's what women do they judge each other and uh and there's like one lady and she's wearing a real nice like embroidered veil and just having a sick day by herself yeah that's the best just like and she's really feeling herself like she's just like i got real nice like sunglasses on i'm's at the pool. I'm at my pool. I've got a drink and I'm just talking to my friend on the phone and no one's going to like fuck with my day, right?

And these dumb bitches across the pool are just like, oh, she's having a terrible time. Oh, look at her. And she's like having the sickest day ever. Yeah, man. That is a wonderful shining light. That's the outdoor equivalent of going to a movie by yourself, which I love to do.

Me too. People are so judgy about that. It's like um i don't have to do anything i just sit here i don't have to talk anyone and just like take it just drink it in yeah and i drink by myself at the cinema that's so good yeah i drink a lot yeah and it's fun i'm having a really good time i'm a leader of jim beam watching off like two three bottles of red wine just watching a movie by myself just having a think about it because I'm a strong independent person

I'm feeling myself yeah just feeling myself up in the cinema do you know you're masturbating in the movies now is it it's like

it's like a peep show it's not a similar to cinema I know it's cool the tickets are like two bucks it's awesome you can go in

whenever you want it's 24 hours yeah yeah it's awesome there's always are like two bucks. It's awesome. You can go in whenever you want. It's 24 hours. Yeah, yeah. It's awesome. There's always a session. That's the best part. Okay. Another thing we like to do

when we have guests on, Jen, is a pitch wherein Tim and I are two very wealthy executive producers looking for a movie opportunity. And you have penned

this wonderful sequel to the Sex and the City movie. Okay. So you come into thehuh and you have you have penned uh this wonderful sequel to the sex in the city movie okay so you come into the office and uh you you i just want to say guy you've got a really lovely voice i don't usually wear headphones when we're recording but i am today and you sound real good so like all the australians of the um festival are just walking around doing guy montgomery's voice when he's not around they should yeah. Yeah. And we just walk into rooms and be like, Guy Montgomery. That is not how I talk. That is not how I talk.

Was it a fighter pilot or something? Yeah, yeah. That was the nicest thing anyone said. Anyway, we don't have time for this. We're very busy executive producers. We've got a lot of meetings today. Hey, indulge me, Guy. You've got a wonderful voice.

And you're a fighter pilot. Thank you. No, I've got another job as a fighter pilot. But, you know, I've got my executive producer hat on right now. Okay, all right. And we've only got five minutes. We've cleared our schedule. Please come into our office and tell us about this movie.

All right, gentlemen, thank you so much for having me here at your executive partnership from Hollywood showbiz. Do you like our office? I love the swans that you've got in the corner. Very tasteful, but extravagant. Do you like the tiger skin on the wall? I like the tiger skin on the wall.

You're not offended by it, are you? I mean, I find, yes, absolutely. Okay. Because it's still alive. Like that's heinous. Well, yeah. That was a decision we made and I stand by it. But I applaud your strong decision-making skills.

Gentlemen. Shut up! Gentlemen, today I bring you the idea of a lifetime. Have you ever thought, man, movies, not long enough. I have had this thought. Yeah, you're thinking, I wish I could waste a day on a film. Have you had this thought before, gentlemen? Yeah, absolutely.

Of course you have had this thought, right? Yeah, because I've got a shitty family. Exactly. You've got problems at home. Yeah, you hate your family. Big time. This guy comes in every morning going on about his family. What if I could tell you four women all over the age of 40,

one's a bit older than the rest of them, but real mouthy anyway. The older one's mouthy. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I like that. Well, I'm from Brooklynlyn so this appeals to me you've got a very thick kiwi accent for a brooklynite yeah yeah i got i got you know i'm italian i'm jewish italian but you got your english lessons from a new zealand that's precisely it this bro i'm so hungover please please continue it's very unprofessional of you to bring this

up in a business meeting have you heard uh have you heard of the much beloved series Sex and the City? I am familiar with the series. It was truly a groundbreaking TV series of its time. And many people see it as the benchmark for women's voices in popular culture. How about we just dismantle that whole motherfucking thing? Oh. What exactly are you saying? What do you mean dismantle it?

We take everything that's charming and beautiful and unique about the TV series, everything that really meant something to people, and we just burn that fucker down in Abu Dhabi. Oh, I like the very destructive streak that you're bringing to this pitch. I also smell some pretty delicious tax avoidance by taking it offshore. Exactly. Have you ever been to the mysterious east?

No. Do you mean the orient? I mean... Full of flying carpets, I assume, and genies stuck in land. And loose rubies. Lots of loose jewels, I imagine. Loose jewels. But what I'm worried about is who's going to pay to see this movie?

Why, my good friends at the New Middle East. So we're making this movie explicitly for people in the in the middle east to watch it's a movie but it's also an ad you know a two and a half hour ad filled with the people you never want to meet okay and and things that you used to love but you can't anymore because of this film is everything okay in your home life i'm having a bad day you guys this tiger just struggling yeah it's struggling to hold on to its life in front of me it's really upsetting we should get that down grim it's made me feel mess i'm gonna let you into why we've got the tiger there yeah it is to throw people yeah it's a test well thank you i

mean and you've handled it admirably so far but it is really smelly today have i brought this real dark like let's like start like are we saying yeah okay the movie gets made yeah well done congratulations was that too am i i feel like i was real like psyched about seeing this film and then it's really upset me on a fundamental level and i feel like i'm throwing a lot of like you're in the right you're in the right space for this conversation i really feel like i'm sorry because you guys are so uh lovely and. Jen. Yes. I've never heard us described as such. Lovely and upbeat. You're wearing a yellow shirt.

The importance. I do what I can. The important component to what we're doing here at the Worst Idea of All Time Industries is truth. Whatever you are feeling needs to come through that microphone. It just means so much to me, this TV series. It's upsetting. Don't your heroes always let you down i'm not really do i'm not like intimately uh uh familiar with all the storylines and everything i didn't watch every episode but i'm aware of the importance

of it as a tv show can i tell you like a real truthful thing get real with you so like last summer i had like a bunch of real like messed up like oh just had all these like medical problems and whatever right and it meant that i couldn't leave my bed so i re-watched like all of sex in the city and my friends would come around and there was an episode where they talk about like soulmates and how like it's hard to find soulmates um in like men of the opposite sex and then they come to the men of the opposite sex as opposed to men of the same sex anyway good and so there's an episode where at the end they all go well your friends are your soulmates and it was really meaningful to me because like this whole

time i'd just been in my room but my friends would come over every day and we'd watch this show and it was like a really beautiful thing to be like, Oh, like we're not alone. And our family are the people that we choose to surround ourselves with. And what a beautiful sentiment. And then I watched that fucking film and how like, fuck,

I'm so upset. This is, so, so this is like, someone is wrong. This is, this is bigger than, this has hit me so fundamentally.

I'm really upset. Wow. Yeah. I'm almost relieved not to be a fan of the show because every week watching this movie would be just burning ourselves. Oh, my God. Yeah. I was so excited this morning.

So did you watch this movie in the cinema? I did watch it in the cinema. And what did you make of it then? Were you as upset as you are now? No, because I don't think I had watched as much of Sex and the City. Okay. I think I saw it in the cinema because I was like, I have an hour and a half to kill and three bottles of red wine.

I'll go to the cinema by myself. Have a masty. Yeah, yeah. Well, you would have been an hour late for whichever appointment you had. Yeah, that's true. But I was drinking a lot back then. I was hammered and satisfied To be honest, I didn't see a lot of the film

Saw a lot of myself Let's try and chuck some levity in the old potty for a sec For our second of two segments, which is called What's he doing? Where's he off to? Yes! First time's a charm Nailed it We keep getting the name wrong

You guys did that so well Thank you That's awesome I like where that little Introductory Pat is going as well I can imagine We'll get a good build up on By the

We could be getting into Patty Schwartz Episode 40 Yeah yeah Eventually Quickly This is inside Before we get into the segment

Tim posited an absolutely terrifying thing today. What? Which was what if Patrick Schwarzenegger does something really big and awful, like kills a human being, and then we've got his face tattooed on our body. Yeah, because we kind of got the tattoos in a flurry. Did I show you the tattoos today? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got the tattoos in kind of a flurry of like, oh, we're in Los Angeles.

There are no consequences. Andy Gogo campaign. stays in los angeles tattoos stay with you what a lot of fun we're having but now it's like patrick schwarzenegger's on my body yeah ever presumably if you are listening patty big shout out to yourself i hope that you and marley can work through whatever problems you've created with your party boy lifestyle us talking about him on a podcast is one thing, but getting the image of someone tattooed to your body is quite another. Yeah. And Paddy, he's a loose dude. He's always been a bit of a role model figure for you, though.

And he's very young as well. There are a lot of years for him to fill up with terrible things. You've always looked up to him as a sort of father figure, though. Well, he is my father. Oh, yeah, there's that. Yeah. It's a very confusing thing that we'll discuss in a later podcast. We don't have time to get through the logistics of it now.

But the thing about getting your dad tattooed to you is what if he goes on to do bad dad things? Yeah. Not all dads are rad. No, he could be a bad dad. He could be a sad dad. He could be a mad dad. Dr. Seuss. Dr. Seuss.

Let's do the segment. Jen, you can front foot this one as well. We pointed out to you the featured extra in the coffee shop. Yeah. A real joy to watch. A pleasure. What on God's green earth would possess a man to neck that much caffeine and go bounding out the door into the day?

Well, I like, okay, so he has a huge gulp and then he looks like he's about to go, but then he stops. Then he has a huge gulp again. Then he looks like he's about to go. Then he stops. Does he read the newspaper at one point? At no point.

He just grabs it. He just has a mug and he's just necking what I assume is black coffee, right? Yeah. I like to think that it's three separate coffees that have been dropped off on his table in three separate mugs.

But this isn't your turn. Yeah. Okay. This is gross. Great. I'm interested. He's real backed up. Oh.

And so he's trying to, he's just all day, he's been on this coffee diet. And it's like. DIY laxative. Yeah. And he's waiting for the time to tick over to 1am so he can run to the bathroom. But he's got to ingest X amount of liters of coffee before he does it. So do you think that it's reached critical mass

and this guy's got to get to it? So he's going like, I've got 30 seconds before I can, I'm allowed to take a shit. I've got to drink a liter and a half of coffee in a minute. We imagine there's a pretty explosive situation on our hands here. Leave it to an Aussie comic to throw a bloody open segment at them and then to turn into a bloody poo joke, eh?

I like it. I think it's plausible. It holds a lot of water for me. I'm a fan. Now, you said that we were doing – did you say we had another segment just before? No, I just said that that's the second of two. The first being The Shining Light.

I was very confused. I feel like we're both quite... I'm pretty hungover. You are devastatingly hungover. You, halfway through last night, were convinced you'd acquired a concussion. I'm still... I had one.

Yeah, but then... I definitely had a concussion. You advised us all of what the medical treatment should be for your concussion which was let you go and drink more yeah but my rationale being you're not supposed to let people who have a concussion go to sleep and i was like the only way i'm going to stay awake is stay partying so i've got to keep pouring liquor down my throat that makes sense to everyone right well we were all very drunk so i guess you're a national treasure tim thanks guy i don't think you believe that but i'm going to take it i do i do believe Well, we were all very drunk, so I guess it did. You're a national treasure, Tim. Thanks, Guy.

I don't think you believe that, but I'm going to take it. I do believe that. Look, there's one line. I know we've kind of moved on from all being upset about how terribly offensive this movie is. One line in Carrie's voiceover really jarred out to me today, which was when they were in the desert having lunch. She says in voiceover, it's amazing how much food and clothing four butlers can fit into four maybacks absolute insanity that they can just slip through like that the movie is so bloated and like an offensive that this line can just slip through the cracks

week in week out yeah that is a like compliment to their acting skills that they can deliver all these crazy lines and not just look at the camera with fear in their eyes. I fully agree. And there's some moments where you do get a sense that things are headed that way. But by and large, they do do a phenomenal job. Yeah. To quiet that awfulness in their soul

that they must be feeling while they are in this room. Honestly, I had this with watching Grown Ups 2 as well. I don't begrudge the actors. No. They're just earning, they're just getting that paper. The movie that they're doing it through is admittedly not well.

See, with this movie, it's a little bit different because these characters have existed for so long and I feel like the actors are so intimately tied to the characters. Grown Ups 2 is a throwaway franchise. It existed for one movie before the second one got... Two movies.

And there's a third in the pipes. Yeah, gotcha. But Sex and the City 2 was like a much-critiqued, talked-about, beloved, culturally important... Should show more respect to their fan base and maybe only work on... This is the thing about this film. The first film, I feel like, was made for the fans. They were like...

They were tying up loose ends. Yeah, they were like, the fans want a movie. We'll give them a movie. We're going to get the girls back together. We'll get carried away again. Carried away? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's nice.

That should have been the tagline. I think it was the tagline. And then the second movie, they were like, well, we made a lot of money off that first movie. Let's just do this for ourselves. It's funny because so you said we're going to make this one for the fans. Yeah. What did you say?

You were like, do you want this? We'll give you this. Yeah, yeah. You like this. You want this? Yeah. We'll fucking give it to you. We'll throw it down your goddamn throat.

Oh, you want crazy? You want crazy dresses guess what everyone's wearing a fucking crazy even the women in the black veils they're wearing crazy dresses underneath you they're all expensive everyone is a fashion that's another yeah it's another great bit of voiceover just before they'd reveal that they're wearing all of those like the new range louis vuitton or whatever in that tea shop and right there in the 68,000 miles away in the heart of the Middle East was the most

offensive part of our entire movie oh man oh man let's go do something fun guys let's go bowling or something what's a positive thing we can do today let's go to the park let's enjoy outside

it's criminal that we're in here yeah that's right um if you if you are listening there's still a few opportunities to get along if you're in melbourne i have friends in melbourne to get along to see uh a stand-up comedy show i'm doing with my friend rose it's called rose minifone go and go with your friends we're having a lot of fun doing it and we're losing just as much money as we are having fun which is a lot uh so get on down if you're into it we've also got Jen you're doing a show oh yeah I'm doing

my show Monster Pussy at 6pm at the Portland Hotel in Melbourne until the end of Melbourne Comedy Festival and then I'm also taking it to Perth Comedy Festival and Sydney Comedy Festival

so come hang out hey what's your Twitter handle Jen? it's Jen Fricker it should be bloody Jen Fricker am I right? oh mate thank you G-E-n-f-r-i-c-k-e-r because i think a lot of people are going to follow you off the back of this because i just expressed loudly expressed my hatred for this film professor social media over there but you uh

i decree that you shall have many new followers but you you've localized it so well. I like got, someone bought me 7,000 Twitter followers the other night. They bought you that? Yeah. It was funny watching your phone explode. Yeah, we were just having a drink at the bar and then my phone blew up. So like bots.

Yeah, and I don't know who did it. Yeah, someone pranked me and I don't know who it was. That's very funny. If you're out there, you're a funny motherfucker. You're a hero. It's very funny If you're out there You're a funny motherfucker You're a hero But you're always funny

When you know people Have spent a bit of money Just for the giggle Yeah That would have cost someone 15 bucks I reckon That's hilarious Yeah

Alright well on that Lovely note of levity And positivity And jovial Japery We shall leave Don't watch the movie Thanks for having me

Don't watch the movie guys Thank you Jen we shall leave don't watch the movie thanks for having me thank you Jean