The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Seven - Roy Sullivan

Episode Date: June 14, 2016

SPONSORED BY BIGPIPE.CO.NZThe boys get railroaded immediately away from dicsussion of WAYF and on to the topic of Roy Sullivan - a man who's been struck by lightning seven effing times. We learn a little more about which of the fuckbois is university educated, which meal is by far the fanciest of the day AND a new musical act is introduced to the fold. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are you going to play that dastardly intro again? Try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try. Ow! This movie's still fine. This is a cully bastard. One of them dies, that guy's screw. One of them's a hottie, his name is Jay. One of them looks like Johnny Depp, and his name is Johnny Depp.

Classic Maximum Joseph. Agree! Ah! You forget that films are supposed to have a point. Hello, and welcome along to the worst idea of all time. And it truly does feel like just that. My name is Guy Montgomery. And Guy Montgomery is joined cross-Tasman by his good mate Tim Bat, otherwise known as Timbo.

Self-appointed good mate, self-appointed nickname. You're breaking all sorts of friendship rules. That's a really good point I feel like other people have called me Timbo before but I've really tried to get it into the popular vernacular you've championed it, I've been trying to get people on the tour I've been on actually not so much this week

but in previous weeks to call me Flash Flash, because you're so quick yeah I tried to get that in high school as well. I never really took. You need to get struck by lightning. That's what you need to go and do. I'll start calling you Flash if you get struck by lightning. Absolutely not.

I won't be able to respond, presumably. What happens to the body when you're struck by lightning? You die, right? Nah, people live. I think it's way less fatal than people think it is i think some people have died but predominantly people live there's some dude apparently he's been struck by lightning like seven times or something he just kept kept getting fucked up but if i was him i just stay you know like go back to one of the places where it happened yeah and just stay there

because they say it doesn't strike in the same place twice tim they do say that but surely there's something up with that dude right like he's he's made a something else to get struck i should probably research that before i go shooting my mouth off but i remember reading it somewhere i assume it's true he has a lot of metal in his pockets he loves coins he carries one one coin from every country in his pockets he never put the two things together as well he was just like it's so weird like i'm just a guy living out my life with my normal hobby of collecting coins and keeping them with me at all times yeah i keep getting struck by lightning and he always walks around with a little bit of water in his shoes

and his shoes aren't made of rubber he's a very interesting man we should get him we should get him on i i don't normally do this during the podcast but um i just started uh i actually googled it and i put man struck by lightning and it auto completed seven times uh a wikipedia page has presented itself for a man called roy sullivan he was born in 1912 and he died in 83. What did he die of? He died in Virginia Well firstly, according to this he genuinely was struck by lightning on seven separate occasions

across like multiple decades There's this section called statistics The odds of being struck by lightning for a person over a period of 80 years have been roughly estimated to be one in 10 000 that seems pretty high yeah that's quite likely yeah uh so apparently the likelihood of this guy being struck seven times by one metric is uh one in 10 to the power of 28. I can't do that, Matt. We need Squirrel in here.

We do need Squirrel. God damn it. That university-educated boy could really be helping us out right now. Now, someone reached out to us and said that there's evidence that Squirrel might have gone to Duke. Oh, yeah. But I forgot to watch for that this week. So apparently there's a shot glass.

I also forgot to look out for that. So apparently there's a shot glass. I also forgot to look out for that. Yeah, there's a shot glass apparently. Hey, can I just say right up top, thanks to our sponsor, Big Pipe. They didn't bring you this episode. We did. I hate it when people say that. It's brought to you by Tim and Guy.

That's what it's brought to you by. Unless they downloaded it using Big Pipe as a broadband provider, under which circumstance it has been brought to you you know created uh by tim and guy and provided by big pipe i'm on big pipe so it's getting put up on big pipe so that's actually a good point guy this is brought to you by big pipe then um bigpipe.co.nz it's their website uh very quick, very, very quick internet. They kind of specialize in fiber, and that's what I'm on. Oh, boy, it's bloody quick.

And they don't couple it with you having to get, like, phone lines or contracts or any of that kind of bullshit. They just give you the bit that you want, and they keep it real cheap. They keep it so cheap that you bring your own modem. They keep you regular. They're a very fibrous provider, a great substitute for, you know, if you're not getting

enough fiber and if you've gone off wheat bicks for whatever reason, maybe you've gone, you know, you've gone off dairy and you don't like

soya milk or almond milk and so accordingly, no one wants to have wheat bicks just dry so you've stopped eating wheat bicks. Big Pipe,

you know, a great source of fiber. Part of your five plus a day. Yeah. Stop getting all glugged up. Get some bigpipe.co.nz in you. You want to do an S-shaped poo. What?

I saw, years ago, I saw a poo doctor on Oprah and all I remember, the only takeaway was, you want your stools to be an S-shape. No. Yeah,

if you're How would that even They're always a stick They're always like an L shape If we're going to pick a letter An L Like oh a little L I was worried for you

No like apparently You want it to come out like a snake And if your diet's perfect Your stools will actually spell out the word stool in the toilet. Wow. That's where it comes from, huh? Fact. You must be shitting a lot to be able to generate five letters from it.

It's still got five letters? Yeah. Yeah, it does. That's good. I wasn't committed to that, as you could probably hear. So for those of you who don't know, Tim and I have just watched the Zac Efron vehicle directed by Maximum Joseph, We Are Your Friends, for the seventh time. And I was thinking about it while watching the movie

because this is sort of the first... This is the last year of doing this particular project. And I was thinking to myself as i watched it and this might be a reflection on how i'm feeling but um it's around the seventh watch when you really start to question just the whole nature of the thing i mean absolutely this is i mean that we've now watched the movie as many times as roy sullivan's been struck by lightning and you get to that point and you start to question what it's all for what it's all about roy wasn't wasting his life away doing this stuff he was getting out there putting coins in his pocket water in his boots

the lightning hunter they called him in virginia they called him what the lightning hunter ah that's good it'd be good if his name was rod instead of roy that'd be a nice little wrinkle that would be a classy touch what did you make of the movie on this the seventh watch guy i'll tell you who i uh had a lot of time for and was really really impressed by this week actually i thought they really brought the noise uh o, Arlie, Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp. You use his real name on this podcast, mate. I was thinking about that while I was watching it.

Johnny Depp is embroiled in a huge controversy right now. Yeah. So, yeah, it's probably quite... He steps out of his controversy and into the world of We Are Your Friends once a week to just get away from it all, do you think? Well, our naming of him supersedes that that event and we don't need to drag it and and selling the good name of this podcast yeah god damn it johnny debt why couldn't you just keep your nose clean uh but he hey hey hey we don't know, all right? We know. Okay.

He just, he turned in a really hot performance. I thought, so what we haven't unpacked so far, Tim, or I think we might have, but we haven't done it properly, is just how shitty the launching point for them going and working for pages like he does the speech he goes this guy he's our age he invented instagram he's a millionaire now like if i was hanging out with my friends talking about what we wanted to do with our lives and anyone was like hey so there's this guy who invented instagram and he got really rich i would tell that friend to shut the fuck up,

go and focus and come up with some real goddamn conversation starters. Because of course the person who came up with Instagram is a fucking millionaire. You don't need to feed me information I already have. I think the point was that he was young though, wasn't it? Or was it? I can't even remember. I don't... That came up. No, it didn't.

It's just ridiculous. It's like... just ridiculous It's like Hey guys I know things aren't going great for us If you need a bit of inspiration Get this Someone made an app The most popular app Probably in the world

And this is going to blow your fucking minds guys He's real rich now We should do that I love conversations like that People who are just like Someone invented this thing we'll just do that yeah just do that better yet oh i thought of that i thought of that ages ago i can't believe someone else is getting rich on it that really bust my chaps um because you may or may not remember this guy, but Johnny Depp says, as the kind of transitional ramp to get us into Paige's office,

all he says is, I've got an idea. But the idea was just him ringing Paige and going, yeah, okay. We're going to come and work for you now. Yeah, because Paige offered them a job in that diner when he buys them all, what are they eating? Is it lunch? He says brunch is on me, but I'm pretty pretty sure it's nighttime i think that's like a cool thing to say yeah you do think that i just think it's bad writing it's not cool to be like yeah i'll get you brunch at 2 a.m it's weird no i think it's cool it's like every meal is brunch when you're

cool enough if you get to a certain level of success in the property game every meal is brunch because brunch is the perfect meal du jour of like the one percent yeah forget about dinner brunch is the fanciest meal it is it's like it's not sustenance you're just showing off that you can pay for extra food that you don't need. And it's not big food either. It's like a croissant in a nice coffee. Yeah, you're paying $18 for eggs. I've said it before, I'll say it again. Nothing soothes a hangover like paying $18 for scrambled eggs.

There is something uniquely healing about spending money when you're hungover. It's weird, but it's true. Probably my worst hungover purchase was i got um very hungover when i was about 20 because it would have been when i was living a particular flat in wellington right right on the end of cuba street and i went to michael hill jeweler and bought a watch and unbeknownst to me it was a woman's dress watch but i just thought it looked real cool and then i had to wear it for like at least a year to justify the purchase because it cost me a couple hundred dollars i've got very skinny wrists oh god that is funny that is a disaster yeah what so but what i wanted to say about uh johnny depp this week all i don't

know so i just enjoy i enjoyed his acting in general but so he you know he's trying to rally the troops get the boys tails up and he's trying to rally the troops, get the boys' tails up and he's like, hey, if you're ever feeling down, just remember, someone made Instagram and all the boys are like,

you're right, someone did make Instagram. I used that app. I fucking love that photo sharing app. And then they all go off and get jobs. And then after Squirrel dies, because JD's been loading them up

with fucking cheap-ass dingers, it's rat poison you're taking, Squirrel. Honestly, do the research. They're all sitting around the pool lamenting the fact with fucking cheap-ass dingers. It's rat poison you're taking, squirrel. Honestly, do the research. They're all sitting around the pool lamenting the fact that they killed their mate. And suddenly, like... And there's a whole other thing that I want to talk about this week, by the way.

But Jarhead's like, nah, it's all going to happen. Cole, you're going to make that song. And Johnny Depp, you're going to become a big movie star. And you're going to bring celebs to the club and Cole's gonna be headlining the club which is just such a bizarre aspiration to me but I love it I love the measure of success is whether or not there are celebs at the club but he's just evolving everyone first off I like what he's doing he's making a jigsaw and he's making sure that each piece of the puzzle is included he's scrambling

everyone can see it it's not a good look but the thing is then johnny depp's like it's not gonna happen like he gives up on life he's like no it's not gonna happen we just need to settle for this real estate gig i'm not gonna be an actor we're not gonna be millionaires and i feel like all he needs to do to fucking get his motivation back up is research whoever made snapchat or like find out who mark zuckerberg is like he's just one silicon valley success story away from suddenly being like yeah i am gonna be an actor he's so up and down every peep talk of his is hey you guys uh there's this app it's called twitter someone invented it we're gonna be all right it's like what the fuck are you talking about exactly johnny dead but jarhead goes the wrong way about it he doesn't jarhead's got

it's like he's got some sort of problem he's got a social condition undiagnosed i don't know what it is he might need why do you why do you say that he's so volatile and he's passionate he needs a speech coach like he he slurs a lot in the daytime and i don't think he's drunk he might be i don't know but he's like hey where are you going man what are you like what are you doing oh come back i love him i think he i genuinely think the guy playing him has either done a great job or is simply that dude yeah i was thinking that as well i was like i don't think he is that dude i reckon he's he's i think everyone turned up the acting to 11 uh no i don't reckon johnny depp did i reckon johnny depp is knowing himself no johnny depp was my shining light this week best line in the movie hands Hands down.

They're on the way to the Wait, wait, wait. Can I try and guess what it is? Yeah. Because I, uh, he doesn't have that many lines first off, but is it when they're in the car and they're on the way to Las Vegas

and he's saying, um, how much he's going to get for each tab of ecstasy or something like that. And he just, he almost barrels the camera and goes, I fucking love me a festival.

That is the exact line it's not that he rattles off all the drugs we got uppers downers wizards screamers roy roy brissett we got and then he's like he does he pretty much barrels the camera he looks just off and he goes i fucking love music festivals and i was just like god i believe that line i know he really sells the shit out of that that one i have to give him top marks for if he went into an audition and delivered that he would land that sitcom that he's been trying to get absolutely you really read that somewhere is it him or is it someone out uh is it jahid who says that he's gonna land a sitcom because i don't feel like he's a sitcom kind of a dude no he doesn't feel like uh he's got too much brooding intensity for a sitcom he's no joey tribiani i'll tell you that for free uh i think it i think i don't know i

think jahid says he's gonna he's gonna land a sitcom yeah i think you're right because that that's when he's going through The bit you were talking about earlier It's like Cole's going to be headlining You're going to bring celebs to the club You're going to land that sitcom Bring all the celebs to the club Life is so simple for Jarhead He just wants celebs in the club

Yeah man and who doesn't you know Everyone wants some celebs in the club every now and then Do you get starstruck? Do you know generally I don't. Because my mum imbued... This is such a great gift from my mother. She imbued me from a very early age. Whenever big superstars were on TV or anything,

she'd always be like, they're just a person, Tim. They're just a person. It's true. And I feel like I've carried that forward. Because I've met some reasonably famous people. I met Slash once, shook his hand. Nice fella.

Did you say anything to him? I said, would you like a coffee? He replied, yes. You were working at a cafe? No, no. It was when I was working at the radio station and he came in for an interview. Oh, and you were the meet and greet or you were the producer?

Yeah, I was producing, so I was in there with him. I worked as a meet and greet on a TV, a since X TV show on TV3 here in New Zealand called Sunrise. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's your typical like good morning usa style yeah morning show i got uh when i first moved to auckland that was my first job i got hired uh and i'd have to like be at the studio at like 5 a.m and people would come in and i'd say hey how are you going do you want a coffee or whatever um i didn't i i met like i met a boxer called Shane Cameron Who couldn't He's a Kiwi He's not famous

Nah but you know I didn't have that same My mum wasn't like They're just people My mum was like They are demigods Be afraid of them Always

Like you know And so I met him And this is I don't know where the story's going But I shook his hand And his hand couldn't close Like because boxers hands are He couldn't close the handshake

He couldn't like wrap the fingers around the underside of the hand because what well because he he uses it for punching stuff and it fucks with your hand obviously are you serious can boxers not shake hands they can so sad they can like how do they make a deal they can put the hand in and like lock the thumbs in and that's kind of enough you know you're shaking hands then but anyway within a week of uh getting the job on the friday after at the end of my first week uh there was a big meeting all the producers were there and uh they're like okay so the show's been cancelled and i was like why does everything we touch turn to dust guy i've been i've been made redundant from like

three radio jobs you've had two tv shows you've worked on cancelled yeah the most prominent of which they destroyed the entire channel they just pulled it down and then yeah so i was like oh this this is a shame um and then like i remember a month later the the host uh whose name i shall not say uh i was walking through an alleyway like at night time and he was uh very drunk leaning on a wall and i was like oh i was you know i was like i kind of got to meet you for a week i'll say hi i was like oh hey man and he was like pretty belligerent you everything was going great until you came along i'm pretty sure i know who that is and that is an exceptional response to the circumstances find a fucking intern and put it on them yeah you're right damn i was shaking hands all wrong

i was trying to get shane cameron to close his fingers around mine he took a complaint to the office i fucking oh man yeah the mountain warrior we call him in new zealand shane cameron that is what we call him he's a bleeder though he opens up too quick bleeds everywhere um what i have been thinking about a little bit the last little while not just through the watch but it certainly helped is janky rig and the gyrating twins i want them to be like the the act that originally opened for intergalactic glory hole but then got so popular in their own right that like two years later to the day intergalactic glory hole were opening for janky rig and the gyrating twins that's how i feel they're like stratospheric trajectory

panning out for them i i don't know that you gotta you what you'd have then is you know mr big and the whole gang tyrone fishbone all the boys eating a lot of humble pie to uh to to have the tables turn like that i think they'd probably just tour on a different bill at that point i don't think nah music industry man you gotta just take what you can get at the time i reckon especially because intergalactic glory hole is like 12 families resting on that act they can't afford to be too prideful with the gigs that they book you know sometimes you just a fella's got to do what a fella's got to do tyrone's got kids to feed i just think you know there's a lot of egos in there ronald r ronald keystone i love you i was wondering because i've got you on videoscope

i was wondering why your eyes suddenly flicked to something you've looked up the names this is great gimme bory the bongo hating mole rat i mean there's a lot of big personalities in that band sure are but janky rig and the gyrating twins when i think about um their kind of image and their visuals and stuff it's a real gem in the holograms vibe to me. A lot of neon, a lot of sharp edges, a lot of big hair. It's a good gig. It's a cool group. They play exclusively disco covers of Bob Marley and the

Wailers. Yeah. Obviously. This touring duo of janky rag and the gyrating twins and intergalactic glory hole is basically spending all the money that they do get paying the rights back to the songwriters of the songs they're covering it's not a profit

and it's also it's a weird match like you've got disco Bob Marley and the whalers and then they come off and then suddenly you get this what is it like 12, 13 piece intellected glory hole coming out and doing scar covers of the kinks you're like this is all over the fucking map

you're really paying for an experience when you head into that gear go it's a real gear change the first one is kind of a tricky one to warm up into just unto itself. And then you really shift gears into Bob Marley as you've never heard him before.

Hell of a double bill. Yeah, really, really good concert. Can I share something with you? Yeah. James Reid... From the Feelers. Yeah, James Reid of the Feelers and also in his latter career uh global

renowned dj apparently he's a fucking fraud man why i'm pinning i'm pinning this basically all off of a just a brief visual of when we first see him in the club and uh he's just like twirling his jacket around while everyone's going apeshit. And then in a manner like you would, like you'd throw it away, like James Brown would do. He'd get all hot under the collar and whip his top off and throw it into the crowd. But he doesn't. He just sort of like helicopters it above his head

and then gently puts it down and then swaps it with some assistant who's handing him a cardigan. And then he puts the cardigan on. And then we see him again and he's handing him a cardigan and then he puts the cardigan yeah and then we see him again and he's like got a record and he's holding it and he's just like fanning himself with it that's so hot no that's real shit moves man no that's he's hyping i thought you were gonna say like i thought you thought he was a fraud because as he was doing that the song changed and you're like you're just playing a playlist oh i'm not gonna get too too drilled into the usb dj nature of his work that's

you know to each their own i've i found uh when when zicoli is doing the walkthrough on how to how to work a party how to get the dance floor floor pumping At one point on the final song When he's talking about the magic number 128 beats per minute He's like bringing up the song I think I like it And as he's mixing it up The other channel

The music's already playing At full blast So What that would create is just a cataclysmic disaster. Because they're two completely different. Wait a minute. Wait, hold on. Explain this to me again.

So, you know, he's DJing and he's got the two main volumes. So you've got one of them, the song that's currently playing on the left-hand side is at full volume. And then on the right-hand side, the other channel, that's the song he's mixing in. and he's not really mixing he's just changing the song but as he turns it up he doesn't pull the other volume down oh oh i see so you're watching his hands while he's doing it they'd just be too because i i uh somehow used to book uh i'd play with a friend another friend called tim friend of the, Tim Lambourne, who's gone on to become a very good DJ.

But I would just make so many mistakes constantly. And one of my favorite mistakes to make would be forgetting to turn the first song down. So you're just playing two different songs at full blast. Now, you could solve that problem by using the crossfade, right? Instead of the... Oh, yeah, absolutely. Like the monitor. But no.

But that's not what you did and that's not what Zicoli did. No, he made the same schoolboy era. Luckily for him, they just fixed that in post. Fucking God bless those editors, eh? They could have really highlighted what a terrible DJ he is,

but they didn't. They took a step back and they said, this is bigger than us. This man's got a Baywatch movie to make. I can't destroy his career before it comes out. When he was on the press junket,

he was saying he's not a very good DJ. Was he saying he was a DJ though? No, well, obviously he learned. That's not obvious, bro. You're throwing around that term pretty liberally. No, it is obvious. You know, he's getting paid.

It's just part of preparing for a role. pretty liberally. No, it is obvious. You know, he's getting paid. It's just part of preparing for a role. There's nothing in this movie that suggests to me that Ziccoli actually learned how to... I'll tell you how I know. Wait, what does James Reid from The Velocite do? Do you spin here regularly?

Yeah. He didn't learn how to spin. No, no, he did. I'll tell you how I know this. Robert De Niro drove a taxi in new york for like a few months before shooting taxi driver yeah and that's like a renowned movie and he is a very lord this is the citizen kane of our generation a madman said that zach efron and and Robert De Niro were in a movie together. Zac was probably, you know, in between takes going to Bobby, hey, Bob, how do you act so good?

And he's like, you've got to live the role. And then Zac's like, I'm going to be a DJ in the next movie. And he's like, well, you should go and drive a taxi driver in New York for a few months. So you're right. I think Ziccoli got confused. Imagine that if that was his approach to every single role and he just struck gold by accidentally getting cast as that once.

Robert De Niro never wanted to be an actor. All he wants to be is a taxi driver, but he keeps getting poached for movie roles. You can't say no to that kind of money either. Good God. That's like a few fears at least hey did you see my last week's shining light um the guy in the hardcore snippet oh yeah yeah yeah i did i did so good the reason i thought the pole was orange is because he's wearing very loud orange shorts yeah he's in something that sort of isn't but it suggests a road worker vibe like high-vis construction at work it's probably

funny to me because um i had mates in high school who were quite into hardcore and they've kind of nailed it like that is that is the dance the pole does yeah would it Yeah, it's funny that he's got a pole, but that kind of move of like punching the air back and forward in a lever-like motion is very much part of the repertoire of hardcore moves. The other one's like just a good windmill. My mates were always very into busting out a big windmill. Yeah. My friends were actually, I don't know if I've told you this guy,

but my friends in high school had a few of them who were quite good musicians and they started a band called Poo Hate. Have I told you about Poo Hate? I think you have told me about Poo Hate. I might've told you on the podcast even, but they were a comedy death metal band because the origin of the name came when uh one of them was asking

if a page like what orientation it should be in and he was like uh he said landscape said no portrait and then simon said what what poo hate and then it sort of stuck and they um they ended up forging a a musical career out of it i say would you call it a career high school it was in high it was a high school career of music did they win a smoke-free rock quest i don't know if they entered to be honest but they put on some gigs like in the uh in the what do you call it like the school hall that were pretty great and there was a lot of windmilling and and shit going on i want to get a track listing for you hold on you don't need to do that well while you're doing that while you can't get it okay too hard yeah it's you'd have to be digging

deep through your computer there unless you keep one on file oh my god no hold on if you just google it it comes up all their songs come up. If you Google Poo Hate. Yeah. It's got their 2010 album, Download the Brown Load, with tracks such as Sucked Off by a Goldfish, Drug Fucked and Pregnant, The Origins of Feces. Their debut album. Have they paid you to sneak a plug into the podcast right now? Nah. I always respected them in their work you

know did you do you listen to the music yeah i i think i actually snuck it onto the radio station i worked at once it's probably why you got fired i didn't get fired mate I quit and that is an important distinction to make um I should probably bust out my shining light but I can't remember what it was oh wait oh wait I wrote it down fuck you I'm a genius Johnny Depp asks have you seen Cole when they're in the club oh no Johnny Depp has asked that question by jarhead it's like right at the start of the movie um when he's djing in the side room where jarhead's managed to yell at that guy on the phone to get him the better spot to get zicoly the better spot yeah and so they're all like this is this is the bit at the start where they're all having their getting their

collective rocks off or respective rocks off um and so jahid opens up some cupboard and johnny depps in there was like a naked woman on his lap pretty much it's a photo yeah it's a photo booth and uh he says have you seen cole and johnny depps says instead of like being annoyed or trying to be real sharp with him or just trying to give him the shortest answer possible, which would be no or no, get out of here. He says, can't say I have. And there's something very funny about picking like a too long answer in that situation that really tickled me. It is, I'll admit, one interpretation, a little bit disrespectful of the girl that he's hooking up with. One interpretation, a little bit disrespectful of the girl that he's hooking up with.

But another reading is that super respectful to his friend. That no matter what he's up to, he will take the time to give a more generous and polite response than is absolutely necessary, no matter the circumstances. Have you seen Cole? Let me just move my head out of the way from this half-naked woman who's on my lap, who I'm currently got my tongue in her throat. Can't say I have, Jarhead. Can't say I have seen her. Are you having a good night? How are you doing?

And yeah, well, I don't, yeah. I mean. It's friendship. It's pretty confident to just start, you know, disrobing and banging in a photo booth. Like that's going to be A, probably, you know, getting a lot of foot traffic throughout the night at the club. B, you're going to be a probably you know getting a lot of foot traffic throughout the night at the club b you're going to leave a trail of evidence yep like you know for a lot of people copulating as a private uh thing not everyone though but actually even

johnny depp's done the decent thing and found a little quiet space somewhere tucked away in a corner i don't understand. Cole's done a bad job of alerting his friends that he's leaving. I know he's got a phone. He's bloody always recording stuff with it. Just fire off a text. Hey, boys, I'm going to this sub party with James Reid from the Feelers. And then start Snapchatting when he busts out an acoustic guitar

and plays Fishing for Lisa at 3 a.m. when he busts out an acoustic guitar and plays Fishing for Lisa at 3am. Like, and also, call your fucking shit jarhead, you social maniac. Your friends don't all have to hang out with you the whole night. He brings the same level of intensity

to the music festival. It's like, I can't stand people like that. Everyone's going to go on, you know, go to the music festival together. Sure, meet up occasionally, but let everyone have their own journey. Here's my beef with the behaviour at the music festival together sure meet up occasionally but let everyone have their own journey here's my beef with um the behavior at the music festival and i don't put this on jahid i put this on socoly they've gone in there with tons of fucking drugs on them and they're there to sell drugs like that's kind of the inference they're gonna have a good time they're

gonna enjoy the music but they've gone to las vegas on a road trip to make a shit ton of cash because they're going to a music festival to sell pills to little kids and zicoli leaves his post leaves his boys and goes to chase tail is the others could be like arrested and thrown in jail and that's the kind of situation where if the ship goes down you want everyone to be on it they call up up The best lawyer in Abu Dhabi Miranda And hand over their passports I don't get the impression That they were going there expressly to sell drugs

I kind of thought that maybe they were Going for the music Well the fact that when they get in the gate The movie takes a moment to stop And x-ray all of them To show how much heat they're packing That's just to show off a cool visual style it's like and show how cool our boys are it's like hey me maximum joseph the guy making this movie i'm a cool dude i put an x-ray shot in my movie and also all the boys all the characters in the movie i'm making

they're all cool dudes they've got drugs in their pockets i feel like the boys have turned this uh business trip into a social call in the same way that adam sandler approaches movie making it's like there's work to be done and this is a business transaction there are financials that will take precedence but we're going to have a fucking great time doing it yeah and yeah once you wind up there it's sort of the business side becomes secondary it's like well something will happen anyway. No, but that's my beef. Like the stakes are so damn high with these boys.

If they get caught with all damn drugs in the state of Nevada, they're probably all going to prison immediately for some time. Yeah. Because they're taking acid to the music festival. The more I think about it, they don't strike me as hallucinogenic boys Are they taking acid? I think they're taking acid there, but that's what we've said I thought it was all uppers

No, uppers, doubters, they say the word they're not taking acid, isn't they? They're not on the drug acid They're bringing acid in and that's a tell that you're right and they are there to peddle drugs Yeah I just think it's a tell that you're right. And they are there to, to peddle drugs. Yeah.

I just think it's a dick move. I, I like, I get, I get that you're young and you're in love as a cooley. And I love that you're pursuing your passion, your desire as the song says, but your boys are so good to each other. That Johnny Depp doesn't even like give a real,

uh, is turgid the word like short sharp answer while he's hooking up with someone to jarhead who he doesn't even like that much but they're boys they're boys out there together doing drug selling as a clan and if you're doing that you need to stick together yeah look i i feel like uh i i stand by zicoli on this one he did the right thing well he did the wrong thing by having sex with his friend's girlfriend she also did the wrong thing by having sex with her boyfriend's friend see this is this i don't know if i got onto this last week but this was what i was thinking last week this movie would be so rad wow rad i don't know if that's the right word probably if um sophie was hooking up with tons of dudes too so like because james reed you see him

all these different girls in different situations it kind of does a little cut to shot and he's hooking up with someone in the club they're playing at so he's cheating on sophie tons but i just thought it'd be a great like evening of uh of of everything if she is also cheating on him constantly yeah and then she hooks up with zikuli and it's like i don't know you can't get too mad about it i i it would certainly be more even-handed i mean they haven't really fleshed out the sophie character heaps do you like that I'm pronouncing Zicoli, Ziculi now? I don't know where that came from, but I think it might be here to stay.

Ziculi? I'm all for it. Cool. I just, it's just like, it's just, it's not, I don't know. Of course it's not fun. No, it's not. This one, holy smokes, this one was not fun no i was getting really

petty when i was watching the movie like when zikoli's doing the zikuli's doing the walkthrough for how to get the dance floor pumping and he talks about the heartbeat and he says i start off at 120 the heartbeat of a long distance runner and then and they overlay it with footage of like four people carrying batons and sprinting on a track i'm like that's not long distance running that's a relay and the biggest relay i know was 400 meters that's not even middle distance i mean you can't sprint for 400 meters that's a scientific fact but that is not long distance running do you know i saw that this week and i was like because this is all being told from the perspective of zakuli that's what he

thinks it is so when we see him running and stuff no wonder you know when the the camera's like following him when his um phone runs out of battery and he's also he's running in overhead like big headphones i actually no one does that i tried that last for the first time last week uh in melbourne i ran on a treadmill uh and when i was doing i was like i i just wear these headphones because i wanted to listen to a podcast when i was running which i don't usually do i will never do that again it is disgusting you take because you've you've got really good big like whole ear headphones eh yeah and it's just it's not a done thing nah it's annoying because the cable gets

everywhere as well big thick cable in the way it's no good but anyway i love the idea that um because you see him get real puffed out and he stops like kind of dead on the street at one point because he's so puffed and it's because he thinks that running is just like going full tit and seeing how how far you can last you got to just pull it back a little bit z dog god damn it i yeah yeah i think you're right there because i was thinking throughout the movie i'm like god he's running fast like every time he goes for run he's running so fast this is why he thinks that a long distance runner is performing a sprint he's he's very mixed up in the head that's right well hey when out of curiosity tim when's the last time you ran as fast as you can

i couldn't recall uh i've started trying to go for runs again recently um but i that's a different thing though like when's the last time you were like you know what i'm curious about how quickly i can run and you just was sprinting i i genuinely don't like the last memory i have of me doing that is um i've got a very vivid memory of doing it when i was about i must have been 12 years old and it was at a school camp kind of a thing 16 years ago yeah it's the last time you were moving at the fastest pace you can physically move at it's the last one i can remember because there was a big slip and slide uh like a huge one i remember it being huge but i was a bit smaller so maybe it's perspective and it went down a hill like it was a real big good one down a hill. And someone went on it and one of the metal pegs that was holding it in place

snapped off on one person. Then another person went and cut themselves, cut their leg open. Sorry, it's yucky. It was real yucky at the time. And it was like a proper open gash. And I fucking gunned it to get back to the main campy bit to get a medical person to come and help us out. That story took a real turn.

When you were like the fastest I ran and I was at camp and there was a slip and slide, I thought you were like, and I wanted to get a big run up so I could do the fastest and best slide. But no, it's just a grisly medical problem. Yeah, sorry. Sorry about it.

Anyway, look, we should wrap this up, mate. sorry sorry about it um anyway look we should we should wrap this up and talking about it are you now curious about how far do you want to go and see how do you want to go try sprinting uh i would be interested definitely i reckon i'm so much slower than i used to be i can feel my body aging these days. It's not good. I was on Kevin Hart's Instagram last night. That guy's in great shape. How old is he? He's like 36 or so? Or younger.

34-ish. I think he was born in... His handle's like 79. No, his Snapchat's Kevin Hart 79. I'm going to add him on Snapchat. Yeah. We can't leave add him on Snapchat. Yeah. We can't leave this Chekhov's gun just hanging on a coffee table. I'm looking it up for you.

I love it when celebrities can't get their own name as their handle or whatever. He's 36. He was born in 79. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's always a goodie. Yeah, they've got to put some number after but they're the real one because if you're a celebrity you become the real version of the thing like i think john mulaney did a tweet at donald trump about it ages ago oh they're here to grab the

real or donald trump yeah he doesn't have his own name it's like that's good how can you be the president of a country if you don't even have your own fucking name as your handle on twitter i get because obama's the first president on twitter so i guess you just inherit that potus one oh do you know what i downloaded an app yesterday which apparently is the real words of the pope and he like updates the message each day how good is that i'm not even very Catholic. It is good. I got christened, but I haven't really, you know. Did you? I got baptized.

Now, maybe I'm thinking of the wrong one. Maybe I got baptized. Whatever you get when you're a Catholic. This is so bad. My mum's going to be so ashamed of me when she hears. Oh, yeah. She listens, doesn't she? On occasion.

She has. Yeah, let's wrap it up this is going nowhere absolutely uh let me mention uh to end on as well that there is a moment in this movie where squirrel has a blonde fringe i really like squirrel me too he's a little boy when they're in the um when he's getting just absolutely destroyed by sarah and the car and his mom's station wagon and she's just yeah fucking the bejesus out of our young boy yes off mic the only noises you hear him make is she says where are those nuts squirrel you're hiding those does no winter yet all you hear him say is no that is good and what a delightful note to end on

thank you so much for listening being with us on this journey our final season, our final year our final foray into this odd little project it's a pain in the ass but you know what, we're going to do it anyway

I don't know if that's true but we're gonna do it anyway thank you very much to this episode sponsor big pipe bigpipe.co.nz if you live in new zealand and you don't have enough fiber in your internet diet make sure you go there and tell them that we sent you and on that guy i would like to bid you in a jew we didn't mention this but you're in australia again. I'm in New Zealand. So hopefully next time I see you we'll be in the flesh. Yeah. That's absolutely what's going to be happening. And remember everybody, don't

bro me if you don't know me. Are you going to play that dastardly intro again? Intro, intro, intro, intro, intro. Ow! Classic Maximum Joseph. Agree! Agh! You forget that films are supposed to have a point. Own each step with Peloton.

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