The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Seventeen - @BlazePizza

Episode Date: September 14, 2016

NOT SPONSORED BY BLAZE PIZZA (yet)The boiz are back together in the flesh at last and they're so excited about it they confidentally f up which epsiode they're up to, right outta the gate. United, Guybo and Timbly turn on Zacole and deconstruct the flaws behind this issue-ridden 'hero' of the film. They then turn their critical eyes to the problems with Summerfest (and there's a lot). Also this week - is this truly Page's film? The Flash turns out an amazing sentimental prank and #TWIOAT is back to courting Blaze Pizza. So please, tweet a selfie and tag in @BlazePizza @GuyMont and @Tim_Batt. Together, we'll get these boys paid.Trailer: Boners of The Heart Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, the hunt for the wildest movie of the summer ends here. This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands, now playing. This is a Little Empire podcast. Visit us at littleempirepodcast.com and on Instagram at littleempirepodcasts. Are you going to play that dastardly intro again? Try, try, try, try, try, try, try. Ow!

This movie's still fine. This is a cully bastard. One of them dies, that guy's a screw. One of them's a hothead, his name is Jay. One of them looks like Johnny Depp and his name is Johnny Depp.

Classic Maximum Joseph. I agree! Ah! You forget that films are supposed to have a point. Hey-o! Hey, buddy. How you doing? Good, thanks. How are you?

Good, thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Worst Idea of All Time, episode number 16, season 3, with your old mates Tim underscore Bat on Twitter. And Guy Montgomery. It is a joy to be here. Tim and I are sitting across the table from one another Luck in eyes and luck in lips

In the flesh, we're kissing We're kissing up a storm everybody Because why? Because it's smooching Specifically with kisses, why? Smooching Tuesday No, because a kiss Is always a gift

I was trying to throw you a little throwback Yeah, that is a real throwback you haven't said it in a while i've really forgot that's really dropped off guy you're back in new zealand welcome back thank you very much welcome back welcome back welcome back thank you uh the sample from mace's welcome back and thank you tim it's good to be back. I really like it here. It's from that TV show, Welcome Back, Becca, I think it was called. Did you watch it? No. No, it was on in the 70s.

I don't think I was even born. How do you even know about it? I don't know. I know a lot of stuff. I know about Einstein's theory of relativity. I wasn't alive when that got thought up, but I know it exists. Yeah, but you would have learned about that through school, perhaps. Yeah.

I don't think they would have taught a lesson about Welcome Back, Becca. It had such an excellent opening theme song, I think, that it's one of those series that's kind of been... It bled into popular culture. Yeah, just for that reason, because the theme's so good. At any rate, it's great to have you back, buddy. Yeah, thanks. It's good to be here.

I really like New Zealand. It's good to have you in the room to watch the movie as well, more specifically. Yeah, and I really like spending time with you, Tim. And I like being back here with you. And I do not like the movie. You're a sweetheart. You're a sweetheart who took issue with We Are Your Friends. Yeah.

It's getting a bit grating. How was it? How did you find it being uh being together again it was good but it wasn't as good as i thought it would be i was like quite looking forward to it but then the movie's still the movie and uh at number 16 now right it just it's it's inescapably poor we were yeah unenjoyable unfun earnest boring it is earnest and it is yeah it is it is boring it's not um zicoli also this is a testament to the power and charm of zach efron's face body uh and ability to you know control both of those simultaneously. And his mouth.

I mean, the guy is a machine. It's all on display, that whole range. That's right. You see him do it all. The whole arsenal. And to his credit, he sells Ziccoli, the character, as someone who has any idea of charm or decency about them. But if you look at the laundry list of character defects in that boy,

let's boil it down. Let's boil down what Zuccoli does in this film, bearing in mind that the film presents him to us as the hero. The hero and the star. So is the first thing the hate crimes? They're certainly in there. He is prone to bursts of violence if conversation doesn't go his way, so it would seem.

At that terrible party, which, by the way, we do have to give credit to this week, excellent performance by everyone involved. You could really feel the mise-en-scene, that the ambience changed, that we were in a different environment. And you pointed that out, didn't you, Tim? Yeah, I brought that up initially. That Stanford party that we all collectively get dragged to as an audience

because Simon Lee's honouring a prior engagement. And God bless her for doing it. Clarissa, Melissa Joan Hart's popular character from the 90s sitcom, Clarissa Explains It All. All grown up. And she became a lawyer, obviously. Sabrina the Teenage Witch. She's a non-Republican.

Is that right? Out and out, yeah. Oh, that's all right. You're allowed to be Republican if you want. Absolutely. She's one of the few public figures, though, who are like, whoo, just her and Charles in charge, eh? Good stuff.

So is the cat, Salem, I think. Salem. The voice of Salem died a couple of years ago, I think. I think I remember seeing that somewhere online. Tell you what. At any rate. The voice of Salem did pretty well for their death, I think. I think I remember seeing that somewhere online. Tell you what. At any rate. The Voice of Salem did pretty well for their death to bleed into the news cycle. Yeah, true.

They're probably like an old-timey radio star or something, don't you think? It was a good voice. Good voice on that cat. Yeah. But the party scene was well done this week. That's absolutely true. We really noticed that we felt like we were somewhere else. I likened it to being in a Van Wilder movie.

I likened it to when you go to a party with Ryan Atwood in the OC, one of the fancy parties, and you're like, oh, this party sucks. Let's go back to Chino. Let's all leave. Let's leave. But then, oh, Ryan being Ryan always gets punchy. Ryan Atwood and Zikoli would probably get

along they just they just hit each other it'd be one of those relationships where it's just two dorks couple of boneheads yeah so um so we're all boneheads by the way that's true no one makes a big enough point of that eh it's not an insult might as well save say leg bones. Yeah. Same thing. You bloody army. Hand arm. You know, it's stupid.

It's so stupid I can't think of something as stupid as that to use in its place. So I think that's probably the first big thing is that he rolls in there and it's not for nothing. There are two people at the stanford party who are making some horrible commentary about somaly behind her back um but not behind so coley's back because he's just an air shot and so he comes up to them starts throwing some homophobic slurs at them and then and then just punishes them before they've got a chance to say anything in response, which is wrong. Yeah. Just universally wrong.

Just don't do that. A mark against his character. And immediately afterwards, he's cooling off with a beer or some sort of cold drink. That's right. Against his forehead, looking over probably presumably houses. The valley, I guess. The valley, yeah.

And he at one point just takes the can of beer and hurls it into the horizon. Full can of beer. You can tell because it's got weight when he throws it. It's going to cause a lot of damage. It is. It could hit a person. Not as likely at night time, but it could smash a windscreen of a moving vehicle. It's fucking dangerous.

Those things clean off the car. Needlessly risky. Definitely. So, look, the littering's not even top five, I don't think. Well, because he litters at the start the one of the first things you see him do is when he's on the way to the car he's pulling on a roach uh tugging tugging on it you know like a bit of rope but it's not a rope it's the end of a previous marijuana cigarette for those of you who aren't initiated with the uh

the jargon if you're not hashtag 420 blazer just yet or ever uh and he just throws it across i mean los angeles we know it's the summertime because uh jahid says wearing a leather jacket the summertime my god to johnny depp uh fire hazard surely oh just don't go tossing butts around in the first place that's a good point i never thought of that but um we live in a country that's got a lot of scrub we know how it is you can't just go throwing Lit cigarettes out In the heat of summer You can add potential arson It's a fucking recipe for disaster

You're asking For trouble So look The littering thing I'm going to put as number six Which means I've committed To thinking of five things He does worse in the movie

So here they are Obviously the homophobic slurs um and punching dudes at a party do you put those as two different things or do you know risky business but one thing okay okay so a blight against this character also the other one which is more just a testament to his absolute fucking stupidity is putting the photo of him and somaly in a very compromising position as the goddamn caller id photo that pops up when she rings or texts like if you're gonna do that if you're that kind of guy who likes having sex in public or something like you like the element of danger you've got to be also like coupled with that feeling you've got to take the right

precautions because he just leaves his phone everywhere yeah it's insane that is yeah unbelievably stupid almost you know in terms of the writing if someone in the first part of the script looked at they'd probably say look that's a pretty aggressively stupid thing to do yeah i get i understand this is like a plot vehicle but i don't know if i could buy that i don't know if that's believable so look that's that's definitely top five um we've got the fact that he has sex with so many at all yeah fucking terrible move he's doing this um he he's he's having sex with a woman who is romantically involved with a dude who has like offered his house to zicoli he said come to the studio anytime you want just use it whenever bought the dude a fucking macbook maybe we don't know yet this week but bought him a gift and how does he repay him by

fucking boning his girlfriend and look i understand i hear what you're saying to people who have seen the movie i know that uh james reed from the feel also, you know, she's having a little trouble keeping that pooch on the porch. But that doesn't excuse what Zicoli has done. It doesn't make it any better. No, absolutely not. I mean, James Reid from The Feelers has given him nothing but love and attention and positive energy. And like mentorship. Absolutely.

And he's like. That's the more damaging. I mean, I don't know What you'd Prioritise out of You know For him Where he is In his life and career The mentorship

Or the friendship But they're On level footing And they're both Huge things to sabotage To just spit the face off To follow your penis Yeah for fuck's sake

Keep it in your pants God damn it You look like Zac Efron You can have any woman You want Yeah Just leave that one alone I mean the number of people

You must have sex with Who come up to you and say, did anyone ever tell you you look like Zac Efron? And he goes, I am Zac Efron. I mean, that alone. Trade off that. My God. It's fine. For you to be fucking your mate's girlfriend.

You're all good, man. Like, you've got this much. Okay, so there's a couple of things. Additional to that, he, oh, fuck, I had a real good one in my head too what the fuck was it he's pretty he's like a terrible uh employer employee to both to page and also to tanya romero like he's like between he just sails between and achieves nothing for either person in that transaction he doesn't know about tanya romero because he's got no moral fiber he's just upset it's happening he does nothing to change the course of action and then he's still too much of a

bitch to be like to page i disagree with what you're doing i'm leaving or to be like yeah absolutely it's fucking waste you know let's absolutely hammer this woman and take her house for all it's fucking worth if it's your first time tuning in page runs a business which is called gold star realty solutions mouth full of concrete dick full of diamonds where he runs an operation that is just a floor of a call center where people essentially are cold calling people going through foreclosure on their house using concrete vines and then if someone gets a hit they have to send it to page because no one's trained on the second step of the program and then page just drives to the house with whoever the caller is

and then tries to lowball them an offer on grabbing their house off them and being like, here's 35 grand. That's it. Somehow it works. Instead of getting nothing. Nine times out of ten, the guy is making out like an absolute bandit. It is predatory to the T. He's the definition of a shark.

And Zac Efron knows exactly what's going on and doesn't have, I don't know, the bravery to either commit either way. He takes the money and says nothing. It's the meekest reaction. It's pathetic. It's the worst. He does the worst thing. Oh, he's a bad

friend. He ditches all of them when they're going to sell drugs together at the rave, which is a big deal. If they're going to sell drugs together at the rave which is a big deal yeah if you're going to sell drugs together you stick together they get to the rave they all get in they've all got drugs taped all over their body that they are to distribute together to raise money you know for their for their own good to move out of the valley and get to a nice place finally so they can do activities together exactly Exactly. They've got more space. So they get there.

The song is charging. The four boys are all pumped to be at the music festival. They are dancing hard. For 30 seconds. 30 seconds. And then they are tucking out like, all right, it's time to get to work. Song's still going. Now they're just working the fringes of the crowd, trying to sell them.

Within 45 seconds, Zicoli's bowed. That is the weakest effort. He didn't even put it in the cursory 10, 15 minutes. I can't keep talking. I mean, you're fiddling with something right in front of me. Oh, there you go. Does that sound better? To me?

Maybe. Don't I? Does it feel like I'm slightly closer to you in the room now, kind listener? Kind of in your ear a little bit. Does it feel like we're pouring liquid New Zealand into your ears? Yeah, don't get that on your boots, it never comes out. No, it's a weird, heady mix of rainwater, soil, sheep turds, and hobbit blood. And rugby.

And rugby. The abstract concept of rugby. That's the bit that stains. That's the permeable bit. So yeah, he fucking just bails on them because he gets one voice message from Somaly being like, yo, I'm here, and I'm by the Ferris wheel.

So he's like, fuck my friends and also fuck this operation. I'm just going to have sex with Somaly. It's a real power play. A real power play. Let's go through some more. I feel like that's at least three or four. The fact that he fucking gets given the opportunity of a lifetime

to play at this Pioneer DJ... What is it called again? Summerfest. Summerfest. Jesus, I can't believe that went out of my head briefly. Yeah. And what he decides to take there is, by any metric, a clunker. Let's look at this from an even longer angle.

So he does no preparation for the gig whatsoever. He gets told weeks, maybe months in advance, presumably. And he's like, okay. He just keeps trying to have sex with James Reid's girlfriend. Oh, no, he's already done it. He just keeps being torn up about it. He does absolutely nothing. And then grovels at the feet of James Reed

to get the spot back, doesn't he? Yeah, because a day or two days before, he's like, oh my God, I can just record sounds that happen around me on my cell phone. Did you know that cell phones have sound recorders? Are you guys aware of that? My creative rut is over.

I can just record anything and put it in a song and that's good enough to play to a crowd of thousands of squirming teenagers it's fucking reckless it's professional suicide james reed from the field is putting his good name on the line and this is the garbage you show up with insane and he thinks that he's got some sort of protective bubble around himself because he's sampled illegally i will add because he's secretly recorded it he has sampled a conversation that he has with his now recently deceased friend. A death in which he is partially complicit, if you want to go this far,

in that they were neglectful towards him throughout the night. They all took too many drugs. They lived a hedonistic lifestyle. Squirrel's little body can't keep up. They needed to regulate that shit. If you're going to do drugs, do them smart. That is absolutely making the list as well separately and on top of the fact that he is at least combined partially culpable for the death of his good mate squirrel the only one who had obviously like a real future you know well so

that's like seven it feels like that is a laundry list of character defects somehow in spite of all of this you spend the entire movie sort of enjoying or rooting for Ziccoli and his company that's how good Zac Efron's face is

yeah it is a powerful face I mean that is fuck he blows out at the end though bravo we were just oh

man we were talking about this this week that final song man that is he's blowing out he is really really blowing out think about it from the perspective of the festival goes who are very excited they just want to hear presumably mostly electro music summer fest sounds like a song during the day yeah in a big car park i'd go yeah kind of like a funky electro it looks like a fucking dud of a festival to be honest there's no shelter it's literally a mass of people getting sunburned dude that is the truth that and it would kind of have that reflective glare because everything's a

bit kind of gray concrete yeah yeah it'd be so hot imagine if you left your fucking sunglasses at home for that game you are in a pressure You're going to get serious glare on your eyes and your back is going to be red hot. You'll dehydrate. So if you get caught in the middle, it's a very difficult crowd to get out of. I'm not taking a side on this, but people are definitely going to be doing drugs there.

I mean, that's not going to help the hydration. You're going to be having to put two, three, four litres of water into your body. And how are you going to get it there? And then what are you going to do when you need to piss? Because there's more water in, more more water out but you can't move for people in the car park doesn't look like there's any fucking toilets there you are already in physically the most uncomfortable situation you possibly could be in and some fucking idiot walks

out on stage with a backpack dead silence nothing through an auxiliary cord to keep the people moving he just walks out there takes out his kit plugs it in and starts playing a recording from his fucking samsung s5 maybe of a helicopter what yeah what the fuck man that is madness it's crazy and you have literally begged for this you literally begged for this. You've begged for this opportunity from your former mentor, whose girlfriend you fucked. And then you go out there and do that?

That's like almost more aggressive than having sex with someone's significant other. You're having sex with their career at that point. You have better James Reid from the feelers comeback special, and you've done it dirty you've not done it right he drags his dick across the dj decks right in front of james reed's face just a splurge on everyone with his sample of poor deceased squirrel as if that's going to protect criticism guy and i were talking moments ago about what the potential conversation would be if Zicoli pulled that song out to a mate and was like,

Dudes, I've made this great song. I'm going to premiere it at the Summerfest. What do you think? Here it is. And just be like, Hey, bro, this is fucking hot garbage. And then he's like, That's my friend who just died. Well, I,

Hey, I'm really sorry to hear about your friend. Like my heart goes out to you. That's terrible. But the song you just played is fucking terrible and exploitative. That is the worst thing that I've ever had put into my ears. Plus, what are you going to do?

Explain to the crowd who he is before you kick off the track. That's number one a weird thing to do at a gig number two a massive bummer i don't want to insult the intelligence of your friend i'm sure he was a very smart guy but what he said is not that interesting or meaningful it's not perceptive yeah it's kind of sad it is it's god damn it man this isn't some kind of this doesn't is. God damn it, man. This isn't some kind of... This isn't make a wish, you know? Like, you've got to earn this. This is work.

You're a professional, for fuck's sake. You can't emotionally blackmail a car park full of sardines into appreciating what you call music. Volume 5. So, listen. Seems like a good point to bust out a shining light, if I may. Brought to you by Blaze Pizza. Yeah.

They don't know it, but we have signed a brand new contract with them. We're really excited. Absolutely. We're certainly on their map now. There's been some back and forths on the tweets. Keep tagging Blaze Pizza into everything. With us us keep tagging us into the blaze pizza i have recently had a few people come forward and say i couldn't find you on twitter because of your kiwi accent i don't know what your last name is it's bat b-a-t-t like batman but with a bonus t and obviously not the man let's get this juggernaut back up and running i mean absolutely

we've been there from the beginning yeah we you guys i'm willing to bury the hatchet yeah also you need to recognize that i'm sitting on blaze pizza.co.nz which is a valuable asset we are potential arsenal look forward to negotiating the terms of the contract when we arrive in america next to talk to you about it um do you want to do wanna do you wanna do the new jingle the new Blaze Pizza Shining Light jingle it's the Shining Light

with Blaze Pizza Jesus Christ I'd really regret asking I'll take that one back if I could alright take two here we go

no no no I think we'll have to stick with it. Oh, my God. You want to just scrap it? It doesn't have an intro, eh? That was a word salad served to you by Blaze Pizza. Here's my shining light for this week. It's definitely Skrill,

and it's definitely very early on in the film. They're at the sushi bar, and what's his name? Jarhead is talking about how he feels really good about this next phase in their life that they're all going into professionally. Feels so good. It is akin to the time that Janet Hayes put her finger up his butt,

and the boys then rib him a bit and say, mate, that was your finger. And Skrill is holding a magic marker for some reason and says into it without the cap on, that was your finger and squirrel is holding a magic marker for some reason and sees into it without the cap on that was your finger and treats it like a microphone and it's enjoyable it's a bit of fun it's goofing around it's light-hearted it's jovial yeah it's just a little bit of character salt and pepper i absolutely agree to him and i'm glad you brought me into the world of seeing that week in week out this week because I hadn't spotted that before. And it was a real joy watching the movie together after a few weeks off because the stuff that we'd noticed

that we forget to bring up because it's very specific, we got to nudge each other with our little pointers for mapping out the movie. Because you've been away for a while, right? Like how many watches were you? Fuck, I don't know. It was a couple of months. On each step with Peloton, from don't know. It's a couple of months. workouts you can work in or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs walks and hikes led by expert instructors on the peloton app call yourself a runner peloton all access membership separate

learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running today you ready okay let's go the hunt for the wildest movie of the summer everybody runs ends here This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands, now playing. You've been gone? I was away for two months. You might have... There'll be eight. I don't know if this is true.

Maybe there's more episodes of you away than there are of us together. Or it's about 50 50 well it feels great to be back in the same room glad to hear it i gotta say watching the movie was tough but talking about it is uh it's a breeze when you don't have any lag isn't it yeah it really is hey what's your blaze pizza shining light i'm glad you asked uh it was actually i might have brought it up before but i don't know if i brought up the specifics of the the adr but um when johnny depp is walking additional dialogue recording for all of you out there who aren't in the biz like guy is guys in the biz now uses acronyms

i only speak in acronyms or as i say i o s a iosa nice continue so johnny depp is uh he's read this blog about kevin sidestream who by the way for the first 12 or so weeks of the movie i thought was called captain sidestream who did you think was called that kevin sidestream is that his name kevin kevin yeah sidestream and i don't know that through like the internet or anything it's just through hearing it in the film being said so i might i thought for a very long i misheard it as captain sidestream that's a fucking great name for a dude who started an app i continued to mishear it as captain sidestream for a long time until i think you said his name out loud kevin systrom anyway yeah so johnny depp's read a blog about johnny deb johnny deb uh has depp has read a blog about kevin systrom

together guy i'm getting there believe in me like i believe in you i believe in you hold on i'm just gonna have a sip of water okay great what a good time to do it building suspense you're destroying flow is what you're doing no i'm building suspense do you think it's possible to build suspense while maintaining flow or are the two things mutually exclusive do they butt heads you can absolutely build suspense while maintaining flow are you kidding me otherwise you wouldn't be able to use silence at all when you're in flow but you can't i feel like flow is a thing that you kind of you you destroy temporarily you know you got you have your da da da da da da da da da da and then boom no but if the flow is bigger it's like a classical piece it's got many movements you know you build up the tempo

you build up the flow and then you release uh crescendo i think we're both right it's just how you look at it it sure is perspective ain't it a funny thing oh he's just read a blog about instagram he's really excited to tell the guys because it's going to make them millions of dollars because he's a fucking idiot and to emphasize he's arriving he takes off his hat as he's walking along and he spits which is disgusting in the first place but the adr they do on, they got the microphone real nice and close to his mouth because the spit is louder than the distance we are from him. It's like you're watching someone spit

about 20 meters away. Yeah. And also at the exact same time, someone standing right next to you is spitting. Yeah, good point. And I got to say, I don't know whose decision it was

to ramp up the volume on that hoik. Yeah. But I'd love to shake your hand and buy your beer. You think that was the right call? It was a good decision? Yeah, I mean, yeah. And I like to think that they buried it there for us. Just for us.

That's what I like to think too. I did float the idea that wouldn't it be amazing if this week something actually did change while we were watching it. Oh, that would be so terrifying. More specifically, there's a moment where our man Sokoly goes out for a run and then his battery dies on his phone. And so he's obviously lost

his mapping ability, so he just keeps running. And he goes down to, like, pant, because he's been going so hard for so long. And I would have loved it if it turned out that he had run so far in the wrong direction that he had wound up in Grown Ups 2 and Higgins inside that tyre just rolled past him.

I always imagine him rolling him right over, but he just rolls through background and frame. No, no, way better. Front and foreground, but just comes in and then leaves. How good would that be? God almighty. Just David Spade rotating around in a big old truck wheel. That would also still make perfect sense in the world of both films

because they never touched each other, but they were just there at the same moment in time. Totally. Yeah, the whole, I mean, the universe is bigger than you think, isn't it? Yeah, I can't remember what I was going to say. But it's going to be good. That's all right, buddy. I've got full faith in you.

It's been an interesting watch this week. Not one of the better ones, unfortunately. Which I thought it would be, but it wasn't. I did too. Did you notice any bit, though, that you would describe as a no-butt moment? Where in the film you thought that the performers, instead of really being sticklers for the script, they decided to go off page.

Yeah, I do. And I think, again, this happened in the ADR booth. Jar Dad. Dadhead? Jar Dad, Dadhead. One of our favourite characters. Dadhead. Oh, yeah, it's Dadhead.

It's Dadhead. And then Mum Dad. Yeah, Mum Dad's a good one. That is the best. But he comes in. I think they were like, they just shot the scene out of focus with Jar Dad in the background.

Or Dad Head. And he got to riff what the line was in the ADR booth. And he comes in and he's waking up the boys. He's waking up his son, Jar Head, and his son's layabout, no good fucking rapscallion friends of Coley. Who's been staying over for five years. Like, I can't remember what his name is anymore.

Jarhead. Jarhead, I told you three times yesterday, fix that roof. And the toilet's still broken. Yeah. And the way he says it, you know, it was obviously he was really loose in the voice booth and he was just throwing ideas out there.

He was like, imagine a bath in the bedroom. You know, imagine sleeping on a mattress in a pool what if there's a toaster in the closet that's right what if the tv's in the fridge what if there's a uh the the toilets on the roof yeah so he threw it out it's almost like a vocal warm-up like a mental exercise to stretch that rubber band absolutely and they just caught that as a perfect moment in time and they said that is going going in the movie. And I like to think that breaking with type, because obviously all movies are usually shot and edited chronologically just for ease of use.

We know this. If maybe the sound guy who was doing the ADR, he broke rank and was just mixing random bits of audio that day. And so he did the hoik and the dad head improv riff yeah on the same day just in the same pocket of time and he was like oh my god like i'm going out for coffee that was a productive morning i'm getting it done today i hope someone notices and talks about these decisions i made because they are a very big moment for me in my career personally feels like a eureka moment and how crippling was it for that same man

watching the initial press come in as this movie started to premiere and we had the press previews one star two stars one and a half star average not a mention good not a mention of the post audio work at all for this guy's incredible moment near your whisper In the stars And so it took Two plucky young lads from New Zealand In their third season of a ridiculous idea For a podcast To crack onto it We salute you

Yeah, tip of the hat Just like they did to Squirrely Bird We salute you But hopefully that's not a harbinger of death Is that the word I'm looking for? Harbringer? Harbinger Harbinger Harbringer a harbinger of death. Is that the word I'm looking for? Harbringer? Harbinger. Harbinger.

Harbringer. Harley Woolbinger. Who's that man? I don't know. Who's that dude? He's one of the guys in the call center in Gold Star Realty Solutions. Mouthful of concrete, dick full of diamonds. It's a hell of a slogan.

It's a hell of a franchise, actually. It's a hell of a firm. I wonder if I could buy goldstarrealtysolutions.com. that'd be a good one to have we could make some serious money if we ran the same business model as them yeah whoa fuck yeah oh except i have a soul that would be an issue with their business model yeah you do do you know what we'd do find some way to like get rich people out of their homes through some legal loophole and then put a bunch of homeless people in there just to drive down the property prices of the neighboring houses it's a it's an audacious uh proposal uh it's radical it's certainly rubbed a few feathers

along its way radical as in terrorism or radical as in the ninja turtles uh well a lot of people said never the twixt shall meet between those two but i think that is uh the exact point where those two uh radicals touch oh in their venn diagram right that's the space we're occupying the most radical space available amazing that is that's called radical peninsula and inside of there is a town full of very, let me tell you, radical people. Radical and radical. Yeah. Radically radical.

God damn. Really stumbled onto something there. Wait, so what the fuck was the no but? It was the line. It was dad head in the audio booth. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay, gotcha. Okay.

And scene. I can close the mental chapter of that bit of the book. Hey, I'm glad you made it. It was looking pretty dicey in there. Yeah. Got real confused, real baffled for a moment. Good God. Did you enjoy the movie this time, Guy?

No. You haven't spoken much about your feelings about it. Oh, I think I've... You've got to put your feelings out there. I've been pretty clear. I put my feelings out there. I've been pretty clear. I put my feelings out there. I'm an open book. And no, I didn't.

I've said that numerous times. You're being an idiot. But yeah, I think... Yeah, it doesn't bode well. There's just... We're really in a pattern now. We're really nestled into the nook of the movie. We're swimming underneath its fin. The movie is like a whale shark. it's we're really in a pattern now we're really nestled into the nook of the movie you know we're

swimming underneath its fin uh the movie is like a whale shark and we are small fish that clean the whale shark's teeth and we swim you know in the undercurrent and the undertow of the bigger the bigger being the bigger creature and uh that's what it feels like it feels like this movie is just dragging our carcasses along underneath it. Oh, that's grim. The movie is a, yeah. Do you feel like there could be some sort of analogy for a marriage and its trajectory as a relationship with someone

if you convert the weeks to years? I think what I, definitely with Sex and the City 2, what I was feeling was a relationship that had turned. And I didn't think it was good for either the movie or myself to be in the same room. It started off very sexy and exciting. Like I remember that first watch, we were legitimately delighted with what we were seeing.

There was a lot of flashy noise and colours. Liza Minnelli was there. It was variety is what it was. We were having such a wonderful time. It was change. We were having a wonderful time. And then slowly it sort of started to dawn on us that, oh man, there's some annoying little fucking things about this movie.

Like the fact that it's two hours and 40 minutes long. And then eventually it kind of became, I would categorize it as like emotionally abusive yeah i would say that i'd say no one was uh doing very well i'd say it was uh harmful and some emotionally for all involved in some ways a better marriage and that more even than grown-ups too grown-ups 2 i feel like our marriage to that movie ended with us making fun of it as a partner which is kind of like not a direction you really want to go in because at least with sex in the city 2 it's like there was so much we had in some way so much respect for it that we allowed it to annoy the fuck out of us but with grown-ups 2 it

was like just we just put it down. You know, we were just like, oh, you're just a silly. An arm wrestle that we won. You're a silly little, we kept like correcting it

and just bad mouthing it to our mates and stuff, which is horrible. If you think about what the two things are bringing to the relationship though, I feel like the fault there lies with us. We are demanding change.

we're the bad partner. Yeah. In a place where change is not us. We are demanding change. We're the bad partner. Yeah. In a place where change is not possible. We are asking the impossible. Keep coming back. Yeah. Hungry for punishment. Yeah.

Yeah. It's not getting around that. Who do you think, like, in this watch, gave your favorite performance? Who pulled out all the stops? I love that question because it does change a lot. I always, always enjoy what Paige is bringing to the table. Yeah, man.

He's just generally, I was thinking when he did his bit and when he's being a real bastard at the negotiating table in Tanya Romero's house and her child, Zicoli's father, is playing in the room next door. I forgot about that. Which might be part of the reason why Ziccoli kind of tunes out for a bit, because, I mean, you can imagine that would be a pretty confronting experience for a young man.

Fascinated by this Benjamin Button fatherhood. Going to your first work field trip into the negotiating room and then see either a ghost or an embodiment or reincarnation or maybe your actual father who has Benjamin Button Syndrome and aged backwards to being a child. I mean, you try to- Just sitting there, just drawing pictures.

Yeah. And the fucking hat, like, what are the odds? You try and negotiate like that, it's not happening in the same room as you. But yeah, the delivery of- So obviously Zac Efron's doing some excellent work in portraying all of that uh confidently but page is he turns in a really heavy performance where he's like uh he's throwing out a lot of uh what i thought were realistic and convincing noises about how he was at pains to

have to do this to tanya romero but the only real way that we could work this out is if we gave you twenty thousand dollars for the house and rent it back to you at a cheaper price. Are you talking about the sort of grunts and moans that he makes when he first gets that eviction notice put under his nose? Yeah. It's almost that. It's not quite the Charlie Horse lips, but it's a... Yeah, and it's really good work. He just, yeah, he brings the noise regularly. He really does, yeah. He's really good work. He just, yeah, he brings the noise regularly.

He really does, yeah. He's a good boy. He's a good boy, that Paige. In a lot of ways, it's Paige's movie. Paige, you meet almost at the same time as the four boys. He is in the movie very early. His first entrance is within the first four minutes or so of the film. Then we spend a lot of time with him in the middle

at Gold Star Realty Solutions, mouth mouth full of concrete dick full of diamonds and then he's almost the very last shot we see as well during the uh montage of how all the people are going while zicole is delivering that absolute turd of a song to a bunch of um what is it gyrating teens tweens yeah yeah uh we see we see page in that moment right at the end that's right and he's driving and thinking so he really permeates the entire film suggesting to me that maybe we've got this whole thing wrong you lay out all the evidence zach efron's character zikoli bad fucking dude not a hero not a hero of this movie anti-hero not even an anti-hero just a villain just a bad character doing evil things probably why the movie has a confused tone because it focuses on a secondary bad character yeah there's no one to really we

should be knowing what's happening with page what does he go home to is like how often does he hang out with chandelier do they talk on the phone do they skype we don't know these things there were so many uh moments in the movie where i was watching it this week where i was ready for seriously different offers like i thought it would have been great if when uh james reed from the feelers and zicoli went went to that party on PCP, if James Reid was actually attracted to Ziccoli and they started hooking up. Yeah. That would have been a very interesting wrinkle because suddenly that whole love triangle with Somerley as well becomes, I mean, much more confusing.

Maybe it could work. Maybe it could be a huge creative boost for everyone's career. And they could create some of the greatest music we've ever heard. A Fleetwood Mac type situation. Yeah, true. Although it feels like no one got out of Fleetwood Mac feeling very good about themselves

except maybe Stevie Nicks. Mick Fleetwood? Is he happy? Were they involved at any point? My assumption is everyone had sex with everyone. Yeah, I thought that was kind of the go as well. I don't actually know the particulars of what went on. All I know is that Rumours is a phenomenal album.

Yeah, and Rumours was a phenomenal album. That's true. And I'm also thinking about, you know, I'm trying to do a favour for Ziccoli and for James Reid from The Fiddlers and for Somely. I'm sick of them, sick of seeing them play out the same situation the same way week in, week out. You can't expect things to be different if you don't change your behaviour.

So let's try a little bisexuality. Let's get a little bi-curious. Let's get in there. Let's inject new life into this flaming turd. Very good. Well, seems like it's as good a place as any to put a cork in it. Let's put the jumper cables on a flaming turd. So thanks again to our sponsor, Blaze Pizza.

Blazing up pizza since about three years ago when we started popularizing them. Roll yourself up a slice of Blaze and light that. Let that light up your tummy because it's a delicious taste. But don't eat them too soon after they come into that flash fire oven because those things come out quickly and they come out hot. 180 seconds. If you find a pizza company with a faster pizza cooking time, we'll beat it by 10 seconds.

And if we don't, it's free pizza for a year, baby. Yeah, free pizza for a year. Not just one. At Blaze Pizza. Most places that do just one pizza, we're going to give you free pizza for a year. Absolutely. And Tim, while I'm very excited to be doing this spot for Blaze Pizza,

I forgot that they've also sponsored a different segment of the podcast called Getting Sentimental with Blaze Pizza. Blaze Pizza. James Reid. Yeah, good on you. We almost got out of there without it, which would have been a mistake. Full hearty.

Absolutely. Absolutely. Almost got out of there without it, which would have been a mistake. Foolhardy. Absolutely. Do you want to grab the reins on this MacBook size surprise this week in Maximum Joseph's Magnum? I do like that turn of phrase, the MacBook size surprise. Inside of the MacBook Pro is a...

Oh, so there's actually a dud computer in the box. Yeah, it's a shell of a computer. So first of all, it's a prank. Yes. So he opens it and he's like, oh my God, it's a MacBook Pro. And James Reid is like literally holding in the most explosive wave of laughter you've ever seen.

He's like, you know when someone's mouth and face is bulging with the laughter and a little like air valve. Almost like a trumpeting fart comes out. It's like... Yeah. That is what's happening as he watches zicoli's eyes well up with excitement at the shell of a macbook and the weight i hasten to add

of a macbook pro computer and he opens it up and inside it is just a packet of gum it's just a packet of gum inside it shame dad yeah and then zicoli's like cry this is the beginning of when he really lets his emotion show when he djs and he's crying and he's crying and he's crying and he's crying and james reed is an absolute he's doubled over in fits of laughter he cannot believe it like he's laughing as hard as he can possibly laugh but also he is still somehow inside of himself holding in yet more laughter like he's more excited like something funnier still could happen from this circumstance. And Zicoli is crying and crying,

and the only thing he can think to do is turn to this delicious packet of gum that he has, yes, been pranked with, but also gifted. And he goes to remove a stick of gum to chew on as he mulls over how harsh yet fair life can be. And as he goes to remove a stick of gum, a little mousetrap comes out and flicks his finger. And James Reid jumps out of his fucking window and into the pool and he says,

Tides up, bitches. Let's get swimming. Bravo, Guy Montgomery. You really painted a picture there. You took us all on an exquisite wee journey as we round the corner of this 16th episode Of season 3 God bless you

And God bless you for listening out there All of you Remember to tag us into your photos and trips to Blaze Pizza Let's all take a selfie And tag in both Guy and I In Blaze Pizza Let me pull this up Let's get a bunch of these going.

I'm going to take one right now. So what's your Twitter handle, Guy? Guy underscore Mont. And I'm Tim underscore Bat, B-A for Apple, T-T. And Blaze Pizza, I think it's just Blaze Pizza, but let me double check that. Hashtag how do you blaze? Blaze.

Yep, just blaze pizza. So let's all take selfies and put the three of us in there. Guy and I will be retweeting every single one that we are tagged in. Let's really. Yeah, let's do it. Should we put a hashtag on that or just like fucking send them just a mountain of... I don't want to sully it with a hashtag. No, no, no.

If you've got the space, do use the hashtag HowDoYouBlaze. Oh, yeah, but that's their one, you know. Yeah, fuck it. They can have it. They can have that. Chuck in the HowDoYouBlaze if you wish. Otherwise, just tell us a short story of where you are, what's happening in your life along with that photo. Talk about how good the pizza is.

Yeah. Fuck. Write what you want. We don't care. Let's make it happen. All right, everybody. See ya. Oh, also.

Soon. What we're about to do now is probably have a little snack break. Yeah. Get a coffee. Yeah. Do a friend zone and then watch the fucking movie again. Straight away. Oh, it's a big day.

So just so you guys are aware, pray for us. Yeah. Dicks out for Harambee. Hashtag how do you blaze. Good night. Ow! This movie's still fine. It's a cold little bastard.

One of them dies. That guy's screw. One of them's a hothead. His name is Jay. One of them looks like Johnny Depp. And his name is Johnny Depp. Classic Maximum Joseph.

Agree! Agh! You forget that films are supposed to have a point. Thanks for listening to this Little Empire podcast. If you're thirsty for another, why not try Boners of the Heart? Boners of the Heart! I was thinking about this a lot lately, because I saw a picture of Chris Hemsworth,

and he had two of his twins resting on his shoulders and it was like so fucking hot and I just I thought I would like that Today You ready? Okay let's go The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer ends here this is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately

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