The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Six - Dust

Episode Date: April 9, 2015

Guy and Tim are both naked, least for a pair of underwear each. They sit together on a couch, under a blanket, watching Sex in The City 2 for the sixth time in as many weeks on a small screen tablet connected to a bluetooth speaker. The kiwi lads are still in Melbourne, Australia. They have lost their minds.This episode features a fan fiction story from Tim, multiple accusations from Guy to his fellow podcaster and some math on a calculator watch. Enjoy. They sure didn't. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the worst idea of all time True colors, that's why I love you So don't be afraid to let them show True colors, true colors Are you doing this? Have we started? Alright, hello humans of earth Welcome along to the worst idea of all time, episode 6. Step right up, step right up, witness the mental and emotional destruction of two fully grown men from New Zealand.

My name is Timbac. Step right up, step right up, you want to watch two folks genuinely going out of their minds this week? You've come to the right place people. I'm Guy Montgomery and that was one of the worst 2026 minutes of my young you lost your mind through that viewing guy there's no getting around it there's no sugarcoating it you were up to some weird shit and both of us are very scandal-y clad right now so it just intensifies the kind of you told me during that movie that you thought i was capable of murder yeah you said to me you i said if you got bored enough in your life there was more an indictment on you than on on you

watching the movie though in that moment because you were just doing such wacky shit because you couldn't go on your phone you couldn't go on like a facebook you can go for a run you couldn't leave the room or anything i did 20 push-ups You did do some push-ups. But my point being, I think you're capable of murder if you got bored enough. Just to shake it up, you would kill a man. I think that's not fair. I understand that if anyone was entitled

to having an opinion on something like that, it would be you. You've seen me in positions Is that why that flippant comment hurt so bad? Because you've let me in, guy. It hurts so good. I've spent more time with you than anyone else. Really? At least your family, probably.

At least my family for the backlog of time I've spent with them. That's probably not true yet. But if I had my wicked life. Your dreams are free. If you do it over the last year, that's probably, I'd say you've spent more time with me than anyone else. So we hold the world record. Hey, look, for people, I mean, God knows how this would happen, but what say someone just so having to download this singular episode? Oh, okay.

What's happened? Oh, okay. What's happened? Guy and I embarked on starting a podcast a while ago where we were going to watch Grown Ups 2, an Adam Sandler movie. For eternity. Initially, yeah, with an opening to date, just until we couldn't anymore.

And then very early on in the piece, we decided that that wasn't really going to be a tangible well not tangible it wasn't going to be a goer it wasn't going to be possible so we put a cap on it and we said we'll do it once a week for a year and and then we did and then we got to the end and then we decided to do it again for another year with six and a two and do you know what tim i cannot help but wonder what lenny and the boys are up to lenny and carl i would i would no no lenny fader oh right i would kill to spend an afternoon with lenny lamens of higgins and mckenzie yeah i don't know what bumpy's doing right now is he cutting a record deal? I mean they weren't like

They weren't the best people But I think that they are of a higher moral fibre Than the company that we have so chosen to keep It's interesting that They're more They're childlike They're more relatable They're childlike

Because they're innocent Because they're dummies And the women of Sex and the City 2 are kind of like, they're more evil because they're less dummies. Samantha is actively ignorant. I understand that, you know, she's going through some hormone stuff, and she's being deprived of her coping mechanisms and the hormones. But she's an insufferable piece of work.

Why? Why do you say that? Because she's just like, she gets given this dope-ass free trip to Abu Dhabi to experience the new Middle East or whatever. And she takes it with open hands. I don't think she ever really shows enough gratitude or gratefulness to her hosts. Yeah. I mean, I think she's advantageous.

She's taken advantage of the situation and bullied her for that. But at least, you know, be somewhat grateful, communicate that. And then she actively starts disrespecting the culture there. She's blowing shisha pipes like they're wangs. Yeah. She's fondling erections in an open air restaurant yeah she then proceeds

to get arrested for some sort of sex on a beach sex sex on the beach do do do do do do

do do do do wanna have sex on the beach come on everybody tonight oh eh oh eh

they got them they got them they got them they got them oh was that Venga Boys or someone else not Venga Boys yeah it was someone else

but she gets arrested taken into a hotel room and then like chewed out completely then she goes back upstairs to the room and is like demanding food

immediately and then is like taken aback and takes a calling reception to complain about it it's like taking her back it takes the calling reception to complain about it's like what do you i mean what do you expect to happen what do you expect to happen lady i don't know tim to your first point of her not showing enough gratitude toward her hosts who have given her a 22 000 a night room for free and flying her like first first first first class yeah that's true. And it shakes private airline.

That's how she got to where she is today. She played tough. She played ball. And sometimes that means not saying sorry, and sometimes it means not saying thank you as much as you should. But she's losing her grip as a publicist. She's just got blind faith in Carrie's talent. She's not working hard enough. Carrie gets a bad review.

Samantha doesn't front foot the situation. She just says, oh, don't worry, that person's a fuckwit. All the other reviews will be dope. That is not what a good publicist does. That's true, actually. Do you know what I would do if I was Samantha Jones and that review came through?

I'd get a horse head and put it in the reviewer's bed when they're out. You're going to say you'd roll up the copy of the New Yorker, slap a prophylactic oar sheath on it, and just fud yourself silly because you're in the Middle East. And, I mean, you're really jonesing for something,

but you can't find it because of cultural norms over there. That too. Yeah. You could pick one. So you could do both. You'd order the horse head. Yes. And then you'd fud yourself silly with a magazine.

Yeah. They're not mutually exclusive. One doesn't stop the other happening. I mean, I feel like we've entered a weird Twilight Zone where you, Tim Batt, and the character of Samantha Jones played by Kim Cattrall have crossed over. We're one and the same. I've seen what you do with magazines.

You highlighted what your shining light was this weekend. I can remember it. Oh, thank God. First of all, I'd like to preface this before i get to the shining light by saying that the uh interdimensional time traveling warlock that is the supposed danish architect in this film yeah who's quite literally been roaming the desert for for centuries millennia his his non-corporal form can only be freed if someone can correctly guess what nationality he is. The origins of his accent. Yeah.

And let me tell you, this is a slippery freaking accent. And obviously, I mean. Hello, hello, ladies. Sorry to interrupt you. My name, Ricard. I travel in Land Rover. Why go to hotel When there is so beautiful I see you later

I have been wandering the plains Of Abu Dhabi For many years trying to be unlocked From this hellish dimension I have stumbled into If you can please just correctly guess Accent origins I will be freed From this world and this galaxy

And back home to Rome with my alien kin. Anyway, so we just have to, that's all glossed over by the movie for whatever reason. They think there's not time to get into it. You got 2 hours and 26 minutes. You can definitely explore this thread. It's a fucking buttload more interesting than the garbage you're forcing down our esophagus. What a great spinoff that'd be. So he goes into the hotel and Samantha makes a really crass joke about his name. than the garbage you're forcing down our esophagus what a great spin-off that'd be so he uh he he

goes into the hotel and samantha makes a really crass joke about his name what is it ricard spurt yeah and he's like richard spurt your dick spurt or whatever and he goes could you be any more american and then like it's a rhetorical jokey question and then he before anyone can do anything he doesn't miss a beat and he goes i don't think so and it was just i don't know if it was an ad lib or what the situation was but i really enjoyed it he's cracking up at his own rhetorical answer and we were just grabbing at this movie to enjoy anything that i mean this was this was a savage viewing savage we made up the movie bore its teeth this week guy and i uh mainly guided the heavy lifting came up with a alternative storyline where carrie um is of native american navajo

heritage and she has a american bald eagle growing inside of her stomach which will spring forth before the next moon and it has to come out through a vaginal birth and not through a C-section, because if it comes out through a C-section, it will start a reign of terror. Inside your stomach is a powerful American eagle. So powerful of it, you can probably feel it clawing and pecking

from within your womb right now. Which is weird, because birds are born in eggs. That's what I didn't get about your narrative. Well, that's why the bird is so confused and angry. Yeah. It's found itself within a human womb. So who were the men charged with placating the spirit animal?

Oh fuck no. There was a couple of the men who were charged with that and they had to bring a feather of a bald eagle and a talking frog to the top of Mount Rushmore and then destroy the president's faces. Yeah. Look we were really doing anything we could to inject some new life into this bloated carcass um we tried the what's it called CPR what's it when you when when someone's like when you put your mouth against

theirs and you blow yeah what. What's that called? CPR is like the whole thing, isn't it? Yeah, like mouth to mouth. Yeah. Makes sense. We were putting mouth to mouth on this movie. Yeah. What was your shining light, Tim?

Oh, good question. That's me. Ask Ashley. That's me. Do you ever watch the Amanda Bynes show? Yes It was a real forerunner I think we may have mentioned it ages ago in season one And just how fucking good it was

I know Because she went quite nutty Which was a tragedy Because she was a phenomenal comic talent From such an early age Yeah Those dancing lobsters You joking me mate?

That was bloody That hurt the mark Yeah and it was like there were lots of just non-sequitur lines in her opening monologue where she'd say i gotta go i've got bacon in my shoe yeah something like that i mean she had that delightful like slightly southern like she was from arkansas or something how do you spell arkansas oh mate i couldn't even begin to spell arkansas have a whack at it nah i will embarrass myself do it do't even begin to spell Arkansas. Have a whack at it. Nah, I will embarrass myself. Do it.

Do you know how to spell it? Absolutely. Okay. Arkansas. A-R-K-E. You've got to say, yeah, do that. So what is it, really? Try again.

A-R-K-I. Is it an O? Is it a vowel? really. Try again. ARK? I? Is it an O? Is it a vowel? Ding! A. ARKA. N-S-A-S. Oh, is that it? Yeah.

Oh, it's not that long or hard. Well, you wouldn't have got the S's. No, I definitely wouldn't have. You would have been looking for a marauding W. No, I wouldn't because I know it's not that long or hard. Well, you wouldn't have got the S's. No, I definitely wouldn't have. You would have been looking for a marauding W. No, I wouldn't because I know it's French. You would have uplifted the W from the former president himself, George W. Bush, and planted it at the back end of Arkansas. I guess. Your topsy-turvy, mixed-up, ignoramus world in which Arkansas is spelt with a W.

I guess my shining light is Miranda's husband, whose name I still haven't quite captured. He talks like he's walked off the set of Good Will Hunting. He does a bit. When he says to Miranda, just quit your job. Quit your job. Quit your job. Quit your job.

It's not worth it. Come out about around the house. It's not worth it. Go and find something that you love. Find a job where they'll appreciate you. I need to do my job. I'm a high-powered lawyer. Do you want to hear my fan fiction? I wanted you to do a role play with me.

Well, I've abandoned it. I'm sorry. Can you, okay, I'll listen to your silly little short story you've written. Okay. If you qualify the context for everyone around us. What do you mean? Like why I wrote it? Yeah.

Fan fiction comedy is a collective of friends of ours, comedians in New Zealand, who write stories based on shit that already exists, like Harry Potter or Star Wars and stuff. They use the characters in the universe and then make a story up. And they got me to do one because they're doing shows here in melbourne and they got me to do one yesterday and so i decided to do a mash-up of grown-ups 2 and sex in the city okay here it is i'll allow it unconventional but i'll allow it i'm like the referee from celebrity death match oh joseph's back with coffees. I'll allow it! And treats. Oh, Joseph Moore, ladies and gentlemen.

All right, Tim, start reading. Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Kevin James and David Spade sat limp but upright, their unconscious bodies tied to steel chairs in a dimly lit and dusty basement. They had been ball gagged in a fashion reminiscent of that scene from Pulp Fiction, but not enough like Pulp Fiction that it counts as part of this movie universe the four men babies after hours of groggy medicated sleep began to come to sandler and his trademark basketball shorts and oversized t-shirt immediately defaulted to his natural state and started making terrible zingers in his head that would be appreciated by a mass market audience or specifically catering to the male 16 to 30 demographic oh man i thought i was in the dumps before but now i'm really low

i'm in a freaking basement excellent adam sandler joke tim thank you kevin james started to come to and fill the void of silence in his own head by making a fat joke at his own expense you've got kevin james down pat this is a psychological affliction the man has been burdened with after appearing in so many TV shows and movies as the butt of every fat joke. I can't do Kevin James' voice. I've been kidnapped. Well, this will be a good way to lose a couple pounds.

Easier than diet and exercise, that's for sure. Nice. We'll allow that. David Spade's strange, wispy blonde hair shifted slightly as he tilted his head up, moving like straw on a farm being caught by a gentle breeze. Despite his hazy state, Spade reverted to his on-screen persona of pervert immediately inside

his own head. Do you want to do Spade? Oh, you're chewing. I'll just do it. Sex dungeon? Check. Ball gag? Check. But where's all the ladies? This is a total sausage fest down here Chris Rock was waking too

And looked around at Sandler, Kevin James You're really familiar with these characters And David Spade And wondered what in the world happened to his career The four men looked around each other And grunted noises that indicated You okay And yeah I'm okay

Which sounded surprisingly similar to how they normally talked When they weren't ball gagged Because they all had very lazy enunciation. I will not stand for you talking about Chris Rock having lazy enunciation. He's a very clear communicator, a fantastic speaker. Only since he got work done on his teeth. No, even before then. I've seen footage of him at Just for Laughs in Montreal in the late 80s, maybe early 90s.

Yeah, clear as a whistle? Clear as a whistle. Unbeknownst to the men, just meters... A singular comic force. Meters above them sat Carrie Bradshaw, Samantha Jones, Miranda Redhead, and Charlotte Weinstein. Brackets. Charlotte converted to Judaism after marriage and wines a lot, hence the anti-Semitic portmanteau. The Sex and the City gals were lunching at an upmarket New York tea room, which paid tribute to sexual fetishes.

The eatery was named Gloria's House of Tea and Buggery and operated a roaring trade on the Upper East Side. Whoa! for kevin james miranda redhead sipped from her bone china cup made from the bones of real actual chinese people such as the cultural imperialism of sex in the city i need to pee miranda announced to the group she searched the room for a sign indicating where the ladies was only to find whips chains and a mongolian dildo fashioned from the tusk of a mammoth miranda's beady little eyes settled on the stairs in the far corner must be down here she struggled down the stairs because her horribly impractical louis vuitton skirt she opened a very heavy large iron door that she thought might lead to the shitter upon opening it she spied four fully grown men bound and gagged and screaming and she bound and gagged and she screamed rushing back up the stairs.

There's four men down there tied to chairs, Miranda shrieked to her fellow harpies. That sounds like my kind of party. You gotta give that line more Samantha. That sounds like my kind of party. You gotta be sassier with it. That sounds like my kind of party. That is how she would say it. Samantha replied, sexually charged and perfectly sassy as ever.

No, you don't understand. They're wearing basketball shorts and oversized t-shirts, and one of them is fat. Really hammering that Kevin James angle. Fashion writer Carrie Bradshaw looked incensed. Not in my neighborhood. Not on my watch. She plucked a diamond-encrusted blackberry from her clutch and brought up the number listed under fashion police.

Quick as a flash, Callie Osbourne, Joan Rivers' daughter Melissa, and the ghost of Joan Rivers herself, arrived at Gloria's house of tea and buggery to investigate. Gloria headed them off at the pass and tried to stall, but the ghost of Joan Rivers, who was no longer shackled to the rules of corporal form, quietly lowered herself

through the floorboards. As Melissa and Callie argued with gloria about the need for search warrants in the case of a fashion emergency the ghost of joan rivers seized her opportunity to roast the four former saturday night live stars in the twilights of their career hey it's nice to be here you know i thought i was dead till i saw what happened to your career sandler geez kevin james giggled through his ball gag. Oh, and you, Mr. King of Krispy Kremes. Don't get me started on you. What the hell was that mall cop crap?

I haven't seen a movie suck that much since Paris Hilton's sex tape. David Spade tried to look away, but Joan's ghostly gaze met his. Ah, and if it isn't Joe Dirt himself. You've got the hair of Hulk Hogan and the body of... What was that little guy's name from Game of Thrones? Joan Rivers' comic timing had taken a hit during her transition to the spirit world. It was at this moment that

the large door burst open. It was Gloria who successfully argued that the fashion police needed a fashion warrant to be on the premises. Joan Rivers left because although she was a comedian and a ghost, she was a law-abiding citizen first. You lot are attracting too much attention, Gloria announced to the men,

so I'll cut you a deal. I'll free you all if you agree to give me start-up money for a new business venture. It's a chain of terrible coffee shops that will only serve you if you're wearing denim pants. The men all nodded in agreement and came through with the money. They actually went on to become even more rich because of the forced investment. Joan Rivers soon ascended into heaven to roast dead celebs. The sex in the city gals continued to drink and harp on about nothing in New York City locations until global warming wiped out their Manhattan homes. And although Gloria's business eventually dropped the denim requirement, the terrible chain of coffee

houses still exists today, and throughout Australia, 460 Gloria Jeans employ at least 460 terrible baristas. Beautiful, Tim. A story as old as time. Yeah. And certainly one that the fans have been crying out for, I imagine, for quite a while now. Yeah. I mean, I think you did a fantastic job.

I really enjoyed your Joan Rivers zingers. Thank you. Was that fun riding slams for the stars of grown-ups too? It was. I thought you could have given your Joan Rivers impressioningers thank you was that fun writing slams it was for the stars of grown ups too it was I thought you could have given your Joan Rivers impression a bit more Joan yeah

that's fair I'm so bad at voices you know you're not bad at voices I'm really bad you're really good at voices you've got a lovely voice I like your positivity

I like my voice too but I cannot mimic other voices I can't do impressions not with that attitude. With a bit of elbow grease and a bloody esophagus transplant, mate, you'll be impressing people left, right, and center the globe over.

We also thought of another game during the movie today just for the sake of not watching the movie or watching the movie but finding a way to make it more palatable, which was pretty much 10 things that this movie could use. Dragons. Kevin Spacey. Banks. Clouds.

Uranus. A mink coat. Teleportation. A bag of weed. That goes beyond the movie. That goes specifically for the hotel room. Are you counting? How many would...

No. That seems like six. It's so unimportant. A gallon of a non-Newtonian fluid like pudding. A home intruder. Home intruder,

home intruder, help us home intruder, home intruder, home intruder, home intruder, home intruder, oh, home intruder. A weapon made of condensed ultraviolet light beams. Yeah, and how do you see that being injected into the film? Samantha stumbles upon it and then wields it.

She goes crazy with power. Towards the men of the Middle East. Yeah. And is she holding people hostage and fucking them with this weapon? She's just killing them. There's no rhyme or reason. No, and fucking them with this weapon or is she just she's just killing them there's no there's no rhyme or reason no and there's no like forethought or plan

she's just killing people with this ray gun okay Tim if you had to spend yeah your life on the desert island with one of the girls from the movie not not with the entirety of their characterisation

from the show on board but purely the characterisation shown to you through Sex and the City 2. Oh, yeah. Who are you spending time with? If it was a desert island, and this is a big call, I'd probably say Miranda. Because although she's my least favorite in the movie, she's definitely the most pragmatic.

So, there. I mean, i don't i mean i don't imagine she would do the bit she would keep a level head you know what i mean she would she would keep her wits about her and i just think the others would lose their head carrie i think would do a pretty good job of keeping calm but she'd just be fucking useless she wouldn't have anything to offer the situation but that's fine i. I mean, there's a pretty high chance you're not going to get off this desert island. You're looking for companionship. The way that you speak about Miranda during the movie

tells me that it's going to be a long lifetime on the island. I'm not necessarily looking for companionship. I'm looking for someone who's going to help. You're looking for an exit strategy. Yes. We need to get off the island. How practical are you on a desert island? I'd say very practical.

You are one of the least practical people I know. Are you joking me? You wear a watch with a calculator on it. Yeah? Absolutely. If I've got to work out math on the island... What kind of math problem will you need to work out on the island? I don't know.

Building shelters. If I've got to do some trigonometry to figure out the most rigid structure I can build, I'm probably going to do some calculations. You're going to do trigonometry on your basic level calculator. I'm just saying, it's probably got uses. You haven't listed one yet. It's got a stopwatch on it. Yep.

I mean, I don't know why you need to keep time during eternity. Well, maybe I need to learn how certain patterns happen, like fish swimming from A to B, so that I can comprise some patterns of patterns, you know, make a track for them. Okay. I don't have a strong… I'm not on the island right now. If I was on the island, I would show you exactly what the watch would be doing.

Could do. I mean, the main use for it would be to reflect light in case there was a passing ship. I could think of far better reflectors than this tiny panel. Well, that's exactly what I'm saying. And with that regard, I mean, the watch is wholly impractical because it's mostly consumed by a calculator with buttons so small you would need to have

toothpicks for fingers to use it. Are you joking me? I can nimbly operate this thing. Okay. Nimbly. Do you want to give me a calculation right now, you son of a bitch? I would love for that to happen. 67.9. I forgot how to get to the calculator. Look, this is going to take too long.

We're already running out of time as it is. Yeah, so what do you want? What's the quack? 67.3 times 109.42 109. what? 42 730, oh no 7363

with those little numbers there..966 It's quite hard to get it right the first time with those tiny little numbers. Oh oh are you a bit upset that I got it mate that I was able to operate the watch of course the calculator works look at these fingers

they look like toothpicks do you yes fuck you you're a tiny little man with tiny little toothpicks no these are normal

these are human hands you have the most frail fingers these are human fingers you look like you haven't even heard of the concept of calcium these are surgeons hands I'll have you know

I could have been a concert pianist with these. You can't shake people's hands because you're afraid your fingers will turn into dust. You've got a worse handshake than I do. I have the firmest handshake this side of the Yarra. You go too hard out. You're overcompensating because you've got terrible technique. I have great hands and I've got a wonderful handshake and a lovely smile. You have a winning smile, but you have dust for fingers.

And that's all I'll hear on it. Thank you very much. All right. Well, it's time for us to venture into... What's he doing? Where's he off to? Jesus Christ. One of these days.

We'll nail it. One week. So, of course, our favorite featured extra in the film. And what I have enjoyed so far in the six viewings is that this is not going to change. It's not at risk of changing. He's a fascinating dude with a fascinating life. Because it's so brief.

I had one for this immediately as well. Sorry, do you want to? No, no, no. I was going to say that it's a very pleasant bit of respite from the plotting plot of the film. Is speculating as to exactly what the motivation for this character is.

And to refresh your memory, he's just a guy who, because of the way they've edited the film, looks like he is drinking so much coffee in such a short amount of time and then leaves the cafe. So... Hit me with the chips, Batman!

He's left the oven on. It's just that simple. Sometimes you've got to apply Occam's razor to the cafe. Hit me with the chips, Batman! He's left the oven on. It's just that simple. Sometimes you've got to apply Occam's razor to the situation. What's the most likely explanation? He's left the fucking oven on in a New York City apartment. The entire complex could have burnt down by now. Why is he then so insistent on finishing the coffee? Because he's got a meeting.

They're two different, there's two things happening. So where's he going? He's going home. He's he's gonna miss the meeting he's going to miss the meeting well but then what why bother finishing the cavern if he's gonna miss the meeting i mean if he's so worried he's left the oven on no no so the reason why he's drinking the coffee is because he's he's got to get to the meeting and he's just trying to like get himself in a you know when you've got to present and you've just got to put yourself in a good zone yeah so he's aware that he's just trying to get himself in a... You know when you've got to present and you've just got to put yourself in a good zone? Yeah. So he's aware that he's probably running out of time, but he has prioritized getting in a good mental state.

He's willing to swap two minutes of tardiness for mental clarity and a caffeinated performance. He's got to be zipping along. But here's the kicker. On his last sip of the cup, he realizes, holy sweet Jesus, I left the oven on. And so the real thing he's leaving to do ultimately is... So that's where the urgency comes from. He's got a lackadaisical approach to tardiness

and being on time for his big meeting, his big pitch. I wouldn't be this. What's he pitching? He's going to a sales meeting. Yeah? Yeah. I mean, is it with a pre-existing relationship with the client or is he pitching no no it's internal it's internal he's a sales manager he's teaching the people under him and is he having a good quarter is the year going well it's flat which you know it's neither good nor bad it's

just flat which is not good. No. And, I mean, is he sort of suggesting ways in which they might increase their sales and increase revenue? He's just ensuring that the six people that work under him are, like, doing everything they can. So he's a good guy? He is a good guy. And he probably also found the conversation happening at the table next door absolutely goddamn insufferable and hightailed out of there as soon as he fucking could. Yeah, absolutely. He sees those women in there all the time because he works nearby, obviously.

That's why he's in there. And he's always running into them, and he's like, there I am, bloody busted my hump. You know, as a sales manager at this office stationary supply store. It's a boutique firm, which is a euphemism for it's flagging. They haven't really found their feet yet in the very competitive market that is Manhattan. Yeah.

But it's not an easy thing to do, especially with office stationery, because there's a lot of big dogs out there. Yeah, I mean, how do you compete against something like Bic? I look at the company Bic. You've got to find your niche. I think Bic has got to be

the most brilliant, financially stable, and successful company in the history of the world. Are you joking me, mate? What do they specialize in? Um, not... Hey, pens?

Can I... Listen to me. Yeah. Pens and lighters. Knock, knock. What are the two things... Knock, knock. Okay, why don't you hit me with some facts, bro,

while I'm trying to have a fun time speculating about how brilliant the business model at Bic is. What are the two things that you always buy and never finish? Yeah, well, for me, coffee. You know this. All right, and on that,

we're going to call it for another week. Thank you so much for listening. I'm just saying, if you think that a business that make pens is impervious to attack, knock, knock, who's there? Computers. Oh, computers who? attack. Knock, knock. Who's there? Computers. Oh, computers who? Computers are replacing pens.

That's not a very funny joke, Tim. No, it's not, but I'm just trying to prove a point. Also, quickly, while we've still got your ears, I don't think we've emphasized it enough through the first, because we were still building a relationship

and getting to know the movie through the first five episodes of the podcast. For the love of God, do not watch Sex and the City 2. Oh, yeah. I know we said a lot for grown-ups too, it it really bears repeating for this i mean no uncertain terms i didn't have a firm opinion on it yet but what this movie is doing to us through repeated exposure is is akin to radiation poisoning um can i just take this opportunity while we're still on the mic to

apologize for everything i've said to you in the last half hour i don't mean any of the mean shit to me yeah no it's actually fine is it yeah we're friends Tim okay cool we were hugging yeah

shirtless just holding each other for about five minutes of the movie today it's fucking weird we watched the whole movie under a shared donut we're reaching

depending on what country you've been in Australia for too long we're reaching new levels here also as always at the end of the podcast for as long as the

Melbourne Comedy Festival runs, if you're in Melbourne or you know anyone in Melbourne, please send them along to my show. It's called Rosemary Foe and Go and Go and We're Friends. We're both doing half an hour of stand-up and we're very good at it. Yeah, they are. They won awards. They won the best award in New Zealand. You can get both of them on different years.

I beat Tim to it. Yeah, he did. He did. We were both up for it. Monty Bloody pipped me at the post. That's neither here nor there. Thank you so much for listening. We're going to wrestle now. Shirtless. Live every moment. Wrestle every day.

It's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea of all time. Season 2.