The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Six - Launder

Episode Date: June 7, 2016

SPONSORED BY BIGPIPE.CO.NZMore #DadHead, more discussion of how these fucbois make their $$$, more people having sex live on Guy's end of the convo. It's a brand new exciting WAYF watch and the lads are still miles apart. Tanya Ramero is back struggling with that shoebox of cash, Page is still trying to copulate with rare and precious minerals and Timbo and GuyGuy are trying to stay positive in the face of a less than ideal situation. A plodding, math heavy episode. The boys hope you like it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are you going to play that dastardly intro again? Intro, intro, intro, intro, intro, intro, intro. Ow! This movie's still fine. There's a colleague, a pastor. One of the guys that goes through. One of them's a hottie, his name is Jay. One of them looks like Johnny Depp, and his name is Johnny Depp.

Classic Maximum Joseph. Agree! Ah! You forget that films are supposed to have a point. Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the worst idea of all time. Season 3, episode 6, a podcast featuring myself, Tim Batt. And also me, Guy Montgomery Flavor. If you've never joined us before, what a way to jump into the pool. This is a podcast.

This is a movie review podcast, is what this is. Would you agree with that? Yeah, that's exactly what it is. And the movie that we are reviewing this week for the sixth time is We Are Your Friends, a movie wherein young Cole Carter, a plucky young upstart from the San Fernando Valley just outside of Los Angeles, pursues his dream of becoming a successful electronic music DJ. And along the way, his friends are there, for better or worse. And he runs into some obstacles. Some of them he overcomes.

Some of them, you know, he runs into some temptations. Drugs. Cheating on his friend cheating cheating cheating uh just cheating cheating and it's not a movie i got up at 8 a.m to watch this movie this morning tim and it's not a movie that you'd get out of bed for absolutely not neither literally nor figuratively um i just at this one and a half minute mark would like to uh thank our sponsor big pipe broadband who don't throttle you and they don't have contracts and if you're in new zealand you need to go to bigpipe.co.nz and sign yourself up there right now you need you need to got the the best the very best internet you could hope for that's right they they do the unfettered uh what do

they call naked fiber where you don't have to get a phone line you need to do this look the less questions asked the better but let's just say i would i would if i was you and i was listening i would do it immediately i would i'd pause the podcast to do it because it's in everyone's best interests. Absolutely. Just go there right now. Bigpipe.co.nz. Just the right kind of pipes that you need if you're in New Zealand. That's not the tagline that they have.

It's the tagline they should have. It's the tagline they deserve. Guy, couldn't agree with you more. When I was watching We Are Your Friends today Because we've been doing it by ourselves We are both in separate places again this week You're in Australia Actually, whereabouts are you?

I'm back in Melbourne, yeah The weather's all crazy but in Sydney, right? At the moment Yeah, Melbourne's fine It's just grey and drizzly but no it's actually going ballistic up further further north along that the east coast of australia it's bloody god so much water there's so much water our thoughts are with you australia does not fuck around i moved to sydney once briefly and the second day i was there there was a literal flash flood and this is

like in the cbd there was a flash flood tons of lightning and uh a young graffiti artist unfortunately lost his life because he was like down in the sewers doing some tagging and just came thick and fast um not what we're here to talk about what we're here to talk about is the movie i wouldn't do my i wouldn't do my tagging in the sewers because no one would see it this is a really good point yeah because that's it seems to be the main point of visibility a huge ninja turtles fan yeah or maybe yeah maybe that's what it is he's got a very niche target demo people who hang out in the sewers yeah anyway as you were saying thing um while watching it i was like just imagining what it would be like to do this podcast if you were just one person instead of two people doing it together like if either just you or i attempted

to watch one movie uh by ourselves once a week for a year. It's so grim. I know that this is the last season, but maybe we could both release spin-off podcasts next year where we do that. We both just watch one movie. Don't you find it the most depressing exercise? Just watching a movie that you've already seen

that you know you don't like by yourself because you have to. You love this movie. you've already seen that you know you don't like by yourself because you have you love this movie you you think this movie is is uh the citizen kane of our generation a lot of things were said um i don't know if i can stand by that anymore uh this movie is really starting to turn on me what what is very what i did uh while i agree with your point what i did take comfort in knowing was that i was i took notes and I was like, well, at least I've got someone to talk to about this.

At least there's someone who's on my level. And that's you, Tim. I think you're on my level. Yeah, that's true. But imagine if I wasn't. Imagine if there was no one. Well, then, yeah, then you are running into interesting territory. It's a very different podcast and I think it's a lot dark.

I feel like these ones, when we aren't watching it together, are tonally a bit darker than the normal ones. But I don't know. I could be wrong on that. I'm keen to hear your thoughts and some notes, Guy. Pull me out of this funk. Let's talk about the film. Okay.

Well, these guys are obsessed with money, right? We know that um at one point johnny depp potentially pops out a gold bar and puts it on his desk yeah i definitely think that is a gold bar i think they're all i think it's a phone i actually think it's because when he's on the phone to tanya romero and um page's house of swindle he the boys are all crowded around self a cell phone looking at something that johnny depp's playing and so i think he's got like a gold iphone or something nah it's the the page is he's worried he's losing them and so he um he's pretty much bought out you know the only

thing he hasn't fucked the only valuable stone or metal he hasn't fucked in his office and it's one bar of gold and he says to the boys if you boys can figure out how to put your dick inside that bar of gold it's all yours and so what johnny depp's trying to do is is find a way he's trying to get cole's opinion on that but before we can dig into that they're not so the movie starts with Jarhead negotiating with the very sweaty and anxious

club owner or manager about you know the rate you know the value of the people they're going to bring

into the club and I mean there's all sorts there's all sorts of negotiations happening very early Cole

thankfully and to Jarhead's credit Jarhead does just let Cole focus on the music Cole's making his beat Jarhead's taking care of the business end of things yeah Cole, thankfully, and to Jai Head's credit, Jai Head does just let Cole focus on the music. Cole's making his beat. Jai Head's taking care of the business end of things.

Yeah. So he's on the phone and he says, first of all, DJ Devin's going to be going up at 11 and Cole's on at nine. And that is unacceptable, obviously. So they renegotiate that. The other thing is though that J Jarhead's upset at the notion they're going to be getting five dollars a head

so for every person they bring into the club into social yeah they get five dollars a head and he says seven dollars I'll give you five hundred

people and we'll call it seven dollars a head and the guy's like you bring in five hundred people and I'll give you head so he never closes on that deal he does a gag

it's not legally binding. Yeah, it is implied. Yeah. So anyway, what say that they get $7 a head? That means that they bring in 562 people into the club that night. We know that. It's a quoted figure from Jarhead. Yep.

And they each open their envelope and they've each got $200. Right. Now, if they put in 562 people at $7 a head, they should have made collectively $3,934. Okay. So they should each have $983. So they've been stiffed. They've been properly stiffed. Notny properly stiff maybe not even like a little bit short change but that's proper fucked like i don't know if johnny depp's taking money from the

top i don't i don't know like surely if mason's taking care of the money side of things he should be the one collecting the paychecks what's he doing just driving out to the desert and waiting for the money to come to him because mason works and i mean j uh jahid works in tandem with johnny depp they're kind of like a one-two punch well they're jahid's kind of like the sales rep and johnny depp is collections they're not good yeah even at the lower rate of five say it's five dollars a head they should get two thousand eight hundred and ten dollars each so they should each have $702 I mean They are losing so much money

How do you know they've got $200 per pop in their envelopes? Is that stated? Yeah Fuck man, they did get really stiffed there No wonder Jahi gets so upset about it Yeah but He doesn't go back I mean the club owners obviously

He's an anxious guy you know when they come in and he goes where are my five hundo bro he goes don't play any of the songs on that list save some firepower for mr reed yeah the songs on that list by the way is just disco inferno that'd be so good but he wrote it like lots of different ways to make sure that there was no confusion so one's in all capitals one's in all lowercase he wrote it he doesn't with the first letter capitalized he's never had a conversation with cole so he's written in every possible language as well yeah i just i i don't know like they're all so meant to be obsessed with getting money like you know when uh johnny depp that he shows off uh pages ferrari and he

does his whistle his patented whistle he goes yeah and everyone's like oh ferrari oh money and then just fucking just you know work on your shit boys yeah yeah they're too obsessed with getting getting licked up having sex with strange women. They're not focused on the business end of things here. But that's the beauty of the movie, Guy, that these young gentlemen want it all. They started from the bottom, San Fernando Valley, and now they're here,

which is just a couple steps up from the bottom. I don't think the San Fernando Valley is the bottom. No, it's not, actually. Definitely not not um oh could you hear this jesus christ it's a little hard to miss mate that was my father's sneeze that was the loudest thing i've ever heard i take your meaning and i think if they just buckled down in a normal job they could and applied themselves they could actually achieve quite a lot. Like, I want to see those guys in a restaurant. I actually think that they could do really well. We've already got Zuccoli as a brand name for the pasta,

and that can be some sort of patented dish that they come up with. I can see Johnny Depp being a very capable, what are they called, maitre d' at the front of house. And do you know what I see for our young Jarhead friend who's got the hot temper? A chef. Yeah, there's no way he's not a chef. Chefs are always so angry.

He would be such a liability on the floor. Can you imagine getting a meal from Jarhead? It would be so intimidating. That'd be great. I'd never send it back. Yeah, exactly. I reckon that'd be pretty good though i actually see a really bright uh culinary future for our fringe our head what do you see for young squirrel i wanted to say accounts but then it sounds vaguely mean squirrels pigeonhole

them like that squirrel's gonna die no matter whatirrel is meant to be so smart, right? It's a coldly said that he went to university. When they get given money by page on their first day of work ripping people off when their houses are foreclosing, all Squirrel says is, smell it. He just wants everyone to smell the money. That's not a smart man. Money smells terrible. Yeah.

It's dirty. You shouldn't put your face up to it because a lot of people have touched it and it never gets cleaned. Especially if it's American money. In New Zealand and Australia, we've got plastic money that you can actually wash. I clean all my money. Do you?

Every morning. That's because you got confused about what the nature of money laundering was though. Yeah. Well, I'm going to be very rich if this money laundering thing keeps going the way it is. I've got the cleanest tens. I water blast them.

I'm losing a lot of money on water. Yeah. I don't think you could explain to me out loud right now how cleaning money makes you more money. You just keep hearing the word money laundering all the time and got confused. You've got to project the way you want the world to see you.

You've got to project that out. So if I've only got the cleanest money, I'm a clean businessman, that will create more business, generate more interest, more money, more cleaning. Right. It's pretty obvious. Yeah, you know what?

After stepping me through it, you're right, it is pretty obvious in retrospect. Hey, can I say a little something about dad head yeah always a man who we only see uh out of focus quite briefly at the start i reckon he might be the t1000 are you how familiar are you with uh with terminated 2 there's a film not remotely have you seen it ever uh is that the one where he says I need your boots your car your jacket

and your motorcycle your jacket and your motorcycle I've seen that scene that's the first movie I'm pretty sure that's when Arnie first arrives

and yeah okay the answer is no he rocks into a bar a biker bar now the T-1000 is in the second movie

and he's the one who can shapeshift. He's the antagonist. Yeah. Dadhead reminds me heaps of him. Same sort of build, similar voice to that actor. So I'm wondering if maybe Dadhead is a future robot sent from the future to the past, present to kill jarhead which then makes me think maybe the universe has really big things in store for jarhead that the t-1000 is trying to

stop but the only way the t-1000 can stop him because this is like a more subdued vision of a post-apocalyptic reality sci-fi reality so like he just keeps throwing chores at him rather than tries to murder him so he's not trying keeps throwing chores at him rather than tries to murder him so he's not trying to actually physically kill him he's trying to kill his spirit yeah exactly it sounds like the weakest sci-fi movie no but if you think about it that's quite good because if you if you kill someone you can make them a martyr right like john connor could be a martyr for this cause and uh then people rally around the kind of image of him but if you break john connor's spirits by making him

do the washing and the roofing all the time who like who's going to rally behind that historic figure he was just some fuckwit who kept getting bonkers on the weekend promoting social on a thursday no one's going to get behind that i reckon this version of the t1000 in a lot of ways who keep getting bonkers on the weekend promoting social on a Thursday. No one's going to get behind that. I reckon this version of the T-1000, in a lot of ways, in a historical sense, way more effective than just a murderous robot.

I really want to talk to you, Tim, about this, but I've got to pause you because I'm sitting in my hotel bed and the wall, it's against a wall, which is obviously against another room and the other wall started banging quite rhythmically oh yeah

i'm really uh i'm in headphones so i wonder if i'm really there's still banging man i don't know what to do i don't know what to do either I'm real torn between Taking a real creepy vibe And getting you to put the microphone Against the wall For the good of the podcast Or you extricating yourself From the whole situation

Nah I'm wondering if they can hear My muffled tones through the wall That's alright People can talk in a hotel People can fuck in a hotel room too though You know To each their own

Well that's right They're probably next door Listening carefully Going I'm pretty sure That guy's talking about We are your friends? Should we stop having sex and go and join the conversation? Hey, well, can you just interrupt me whenever

during the next however long of this record to give me updates on that, please? Well, the banging has stopped now. Ah. It's short-lived. Very in and out efficient stuff okay maybe good on them maybe they've gone have sex somewhere else in the room speaking of which by the way yes how big is the hotel room where zicoli and sophie stay yeah and you know it hasn't been comped either i know because they can't be staying in the one that james gets provided because that would be madness oh fuck that would be that'd be so intense but then again he couldn't call them out because he hooked up with those ukrainian um

contortionists yeah what were they uh not ballerinas acrobats acrobats that's right so like imagine if it was one of those double double jeopardy situations where they both get to the desk at the same time to get a room key and fucking zikoli's there with sof dog well and then james reed of the fearless is there with some ukrainians and everyone's just like well i guess this is a freebie and no one ever talk of this night again because there's emotional investment between James Reid and Sophie and Sophie and Zacoli would just lie and say, oh, no, we're just here as mates,

which is obviously so transparent, except for James Reid, who would be so busy scrambling to come up with his own life for why he's hanging out with... Ah, I tell you why. He'd say uh who these no don't worry about these so uh these are just some acrobats i'm going to put in a laptop box

and i was hoping to surprise you next week so coley uh foiled again with my generous spirit yeah um but uh yeah i guess i guess that would be but it's just how that would go down they would mean, she's saying she doesn't have enough money to go back to university. Well, stop blowing it on a whim. I don't think she paid for it. I don't know why I've got that in my head, but I reckon Coley's put it on a credit card somewhere. You reckon? Plus, he's raking in the dough foreclosing on people's houses

and stealing Tanya Romero's nest egg. He's not spending any of it. He's very uncomfortable with it. Speaking of Tanya Romero's nest egg and that money, if you were living in a house and someone rang the doorbell and there was just a shoebox filled with tens of thousands of dollars of cash and you open the door and it's just a shoebox full of cash do you take it desperate times bro if the situation is i'm a single mother

and i literally have to keep housed in feeding this monster which is in no way a term of endearment but literally a monster that i've given birth to which is if you think teenagers eat a lot try raising a literal monster they're very expensive very hungry they grow faster than we do yeah they do and so they consume a lot more energy so you got to just keep throwing really protein dense food stuffs at them so if i'm in that situation and no one else is like they're giving me a hand and my house has just been foreclosed on and i get that shoebox i would definitely think about it um in my normal like in my life at the moment if that happened i would i definitely think i'd go to the police yeah because that that's like someone's died to bring me that shoe that's right i would think you need to leave it always leave a note um because

without context it's quite terrifying to just get a box of money but if zicole had been like hey tanya i feel terrible about everything that happened have a shitload of money yeah i'm sure i'm sure that would be different because yeah i just think there's something very sinister about a shoebox of money unmarkeded bills. No question, yeah. It's not really a good way to... Even if you put it in an envelope, I feel like that would be nicer. But there's something really sort of mafioso about the appearance of unmarked bills. As a gift to the monster, because he kept his Discman in there as well.

I wonder if he left the Discman in. Yeah. That'd be nice. it'd be a nice touch music does soothe the savage beast they say the set wait is that the same beast i don't think that's the saying oh i thought it was foiled again i feel like i give you my oh yeah i just think i'm just worried about zicoli like i think he's getting ahead of himself. He played one song at Summerfest, which a DJ set doth not... One song a DJ set doth not make.

He played one song and walked off, and everyone was like, what the fuck? He just got us going. Do you know, I really thought about this watch as well. The fact that this whole movie is really Ziccoli making a single track. One track. And it that this whole movie is really zicoli making a single track

one track and it's a whole movie's worth of shit i know and and also it's supported by the notion that he keeps repeating throughout the movie all you need is one track all you need is one song absolutely not true it's not true at all does like does he not know you know has he not heard of one hit wonders and how that's a it's not a good thing to be in the music industry? People are starting to give Lorde shit because she hasn't put out an album in a couple of years. She's got tons of bands. Who's giving Lorde shit?

The New Zealand Herald. Who else? Oh, fuck. What a fantastic piece of journalism. New Zealand Herald. Under Pressure, right? Under Pressure is the song Freddie Mercury...

David Bowie and Queen. Well, it's Queen, isn't it? And David Bowie. I'm pretty sure they knocked that out because they had a spare few hours in a recording studio. Really? Yeah.

I think it was like a tack-on. They made it up. Freddie Mercury and David Bowie wrote it together because they were recording some other track, I'm pretty sure. And they had some spare time so they just they made it up freddie mercury and david bowie wrote it together because they were recording some other track i'm pretty sure and they had some spare time so they just started jamming and it just fucking came out and eventually launched the career of vanilla ice all on a david bowie and freddie mercury whim oh man slight divergence i know we're supposed to talk about

we are your friends is a movie but um last night i went to a screening of little shop of horrors the rick moranis one um and it was like a like a cool b movie screening in a bar and uh they had trailers from the era when the movie came out to play before it played and there was a vanilla ice movie which i can't remember the title of the trailer was fucking sensational it sounds good just like it's vanilla ice and there's a um like a so he's the kid from the wrong side of the tracks um and he appears on the scene in like white suburbia uh falls in love with this girl she falls in love with him and then i think she goes missing or something or someone in the neighborhood goes missing and everyone thinks

that vanilla ice is is uh sort of the kidnapper and it just like there's so many bonkers things that are happening on motorcycles and just stupid fucking catchphrases being delivered by vanilla ice oh i saw vanilla Ice recently in a promotional video for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the latest one, and he was doing the Go Ninja, Go Ninja, Go! rap from the original movies, the live-action movies that came out in the 90s?

80s, 90s, 90s, I think. And it was one of the saddest things I've seen. It was in a big publicity event lots of media and stuff to launch the new Michael Bay Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie and Vanilla Ice is there just trying to amp up this crowd

good on him nah man that's circuit that's his bread and butter now I get that and I respect it but it's very depressing to watch now tim to maybe being in the room do you know what to be fair to vanilla ice maybe in the room it was a different feel but you look at that video which is on teenage mutant ninja turtles official youtube channel and uh you tell me what you see. I'm not going to do that

because it sounds like it's not worth it. But to pick up your mood after feeling down on behalf of Vanilla Ice, who I'm sure is fine by the way, how would you like to hear some supporting evidence that not just Johnny Depp but also Jarhead conspired to kill Squirrel?

Ah, yes, please. So, you know that ostensibly these four friends, like it's Ziccoli in the lead, and then the other three are all kind of meant to have level, equal billing and footing in the film. Yeah. So when Jahid takes them to see their new house in the encino hills uh and he starts showing them around and there's much excitement the first room

he shows could you tell me what the first room he shows them is um living room no bedroom oh cold's room isn't it yeah it's a coldly's room and he says we could slap up the um was it soundproofing on the walls some egg cartons on the walls and soundproofing then where does he go uh then he goes into johnny depp's room doesn't he that's correct and then he says what do you give the man who has everything just more of that man and then pulls a mirror out which again like my favorite line of the whole movie and always will be and then we and then where do they go uh then i think they discuss how the rent's going to carve up and jump in the pool don't know where do they discuss where the rent's how the rent's going to carve up they discuss that

in jarhead's room where's's Squirrel's room, bro? Holy shit. I don't know. Does he not have one? Why wouldn't Squirrel have a room? Whoa. Because Jahid never intended for him to live there. Oh, shit, dog.

Damn. It's dark, huh? Wowee. Really dark Can I ask you a question related to this When they're like carving up the rent There's a weird sentence that gets said Which I've never been able to figure out

And I think it's like Johnny Depp says to To Jarhead You pay nine we pay seven Yeah But like that doesn't equal the amount That the place costs to Jarhead, you pay nine, we pay seven? Yeah. But like, that doesn't equal the amount that the place costs, I think. I've tried to do the math a couple of times. It does.

It does it. Because it's $750 a week, and then Johnny Depp's like, you've got the biggest, I've noticed you've got the biggest room. He's like, find us, Finn. He's like, we pay seven, you pay nine. So $ hundred times three is is 2100 plus nine is three thousand dollars and 750 would also be three thousand dollars 754

ways oh is it oh thank you very much because that's been pissing me off for the last six watches no so these boys the worst businessmen in the world, are better with sums and numbers than you. Real good at fractions on the fly. I've literally had six weeks to work this out and haven't been able to. These boys are good. They're good at one thing, that's fractions.

I've got to say, if they were good at fractions, they would honestly, I can't get over how they're getting ripped off by the club manager at social. They've got at least enough evidence to take it to the small claims tribunal, get it in front of a judge or a community member who is acting as a judge. Honestly, be heard. You know, there is protocol and there are systems out there

to stop this sort of thing happening in the workplace. All rise for Judge Justice. I was born into this job we are hearing the case today of jarhead versus club owner i understand you boys make your money on the side from selling drugs so this seems like a very unusual case to bring to small claims no no you're not meant to know that This seems like a very unusual case to bring to small clubs. No, you're not meant to know that. This judge, he does his background research, bro. Yeah.

He's this peculiar little man. He's like, we actually need to wrap up this case very quickly because I have to go to court for spying. Okay. Oh, dear. So you were going to tell me you're shining light uh i was eventually um it's so brief you know when zicoly's doing the explanation to sophie about uh the different bpms of different genres of music different tempos um during the bit where he's he says hardcore right you see hardcore is his example of something that's like 200 beats per minute.

I don't know how he does to that. There's a guy in the background of that example clip who's just got a metal pole and he's just swinging it kind of like forward and backward. Is it like an orange metal pole? Huh? Is it an orange metal pole? I don't think it's orange. I thought it was silver, but it could be orange. But he's like, it's basically a lever that's not connected to anything.

And he's just like jerking it. It's fucking awesome. I like that guy. That's my shining light from this watch. That's good. Do you think... He's so into it. That's found footage, eh?

That's not stuff they shot for the movie. It's definitely stuff that Max Joseph has grabbed from YouTube and then paid someone $60 to be able to use in a feature film. Hey, did you watch that clip that someone sent us? Oh, no, wait. I think it was from the Reddit, the subreddit, of introducing Max Joseph. No.

It's done all in the exact same style as the movie with the titles and shit, which makes me think that maybe max joseph actually edited this thing as well which is pretty full-on that would uh that would be impressive yeah i'm impressed by that anyway do you have a shining light i do um and it's close to the start of the film when the the fellas are all out getting late night food and they're looking at apartments in a magazine because, I mean, the more we talk about it, the more I'm learning there's a reason

these guys aren't doing so well. And they just don't know. They just can't make shit work for them. Like, they're simple boys, but they're good boys. And one of them is such a simple boy. I don't know who, and I'd love to hear your theories on it. One of them doesn't like tomato in their burgers. There's a...

Oh, man after my own heart. Yeah, there's a passing shot of a plate and there's evidence of tomato being removed from a burger and left on the plate. And I used to be like that. I actually got into... I used burgers as my gateway to get into tomatoes and now I love them.

I'd never eat one like an apple. I have some friends who do that. But, you know, I think it's a good flavor. Did you used to be in a situation where you would avoid tomato at all costs? Yeah. Get it out of my burger. I don't want it. Yeah.

I have graduated from that zone as well. So I used to be just absolutely get every tomato away from me and remove it from any meal that it's in. Cooked tomato, fine. But like burgers was the big one because it's just a raw cold slice of tomato in there. But I'll just eat it now. I still won't enjoy it, but I'll eat it.

That means that you're on... It's so funny to conquer tastes like that. That means you're on your way to enjoying it. The reason why I hated tomato ever so briefly guy sorry to cut you no no it was in one foul swoop i was very young and had some sort of terrible crippling stomach bug it was like one of the most sickest i've ever been as a child and i distinctly remember at the time my mom cutting up tomatoes and cucumbers and for years and years and years after that the smell of cucumbers would make me nauseous and uh and i hated tomatoes as well and

i'm only just now being able to shake that off what's your relationship with cucumbers like uh pretty similar to tomato to be honest and actually probably slightly worse. I can understand not liking tomato. It's a texture thing. Is it hard? Is it soft? I mean, it's just, I can't get on board with it. I couldn't. Cucumber, one of the least offensive smells, tastes, textures in the food community today.

In some ways, what is wrong with it though it's like what do you represent what are you here to do what are you adding watery watery crunch yeah that's it that's it in a nutshell it does have a slight taste what's wrong with a watery crunch well that's the thing guy it's completely irrational It's just that I attached cucumbers to my being sick as a kid. Probably the thing that got me over it, though, is cocktails. Because I quite like gin. And there's a lot of gin-based cocktails that will have a little slice of cucumber in them. Will you eat the cucumber at the end of the cocktail?

Yeah. Yeah, I will. You're an interesting guy. Yeah, I'm coming around. Well, which of the boys do you think doesn't like tomato? I feel like Zicoli loves I reckon squirrel yeah

yeah he's the most malnourished of them and tomatoes are superfood is it that's what they say yesterday's kale yesterday's kale

yeah that's what tomato is the other thing I really liked there were two sort of consecutive moments in the diner where i was like this is a good movie um was when or not a good movie but just there's stuff to

enjoy here is when they first meet page and he's walking out of the restaurant and johnny depp sees him and he's like you're looking sharp as ever page page is literally wearing a tracksuit top like zip down to the middle of his pecs like page is not looking sharp as ever you look like shit page but he's got two girls hanging off his arms you know that's what he's talking about he's just kissing ass to try and man try and get some of that afterglow page page is such a fascinating character in this film yeah he he's um he's not a goodie you know that montage at the end of the movie where it's going around seeing where everyone's at now um while uh zicoli is playing on stage at summerfest and you get a shot of sophie i think walking into into university. Yeah. I think it's wild to lie and are we ever going to be better than this

as being delivered. And there's a shot of an interior of a car and two dudes. Is that Johnny Depp and Paige? Is that who I'm looking at smoking a cigarette? No. Do you know what I'm talking about, that shot? I don't remember that shot. I was busy entertaining another theory during the closing credits.

Oh, yeah. Which I'd like to posit to you as a potential spinoff for We Are Your Friends. Love to hear it. Ziccoli plays one song as the opening DJ for James Reed at Summerfest. It's not a great song. Due to some generous editing,

it appears the crowd likes it, but we don't know that. And more than that, he's disorganized. He shows up, he gets set up. He has a very, he doesn't have a very charismatic intro. Pretty much, I posit that Zicole tanks at Summerfest. Okay. Accordingly, James Reid.

Of the feelers. Of the feelers. He has a very rough set afterwards and also loses his credibility not just as a dj but as a tastemaker for bringing along zikoli oh shit so both these boys are down on their luck now they're struggling for work yeah uh they have to pull resources because zikoli doesn't want to live with jahe anymore he wants to pursue music full-time yeah they move in as flatmates yes okay zicoli's still trying to flirt with sophie goes to the cafe he asks he asks for the muffin she says that deal's

not valid on it's only you know you can only redeem that on thursdays but i can make an exception boom you're fired you can't just give away company food. She's also out of a job. The three of them are living together in this fucked up love triangle. I smell a sitcom. That is beautiful. I like that a lot. Okay, they open a sushi restaurant with Jarhead as the chef in the valley.

Oh man, this is so good. We should call it We Were Your Friends. Because it's like about how not everyone's still with them. Like Squirrel died. He was our friend. Sophie is now romantically involved with Zicoli. So they're not friends anymore. They're lovers.

They were friends. I mean, James Reid of the Feelers can barely contain his rage at the whole situation, but he just has to live there because he knows it's the only way back to the top of the music food chain. Yeah. He's got no friends. We were your friends. And what I love in particular about this is it's a sequel that can pick up from literally moments after the end of the first movie. Yeah.

I can't even think of an example, but whenever a film franchise can start a movie like one second after the last one ended, that's fucking dope. The Marvel Universe has kind of played around with that a bit. Oh, no, sorry, the DC stuff with Batman versus Superman, how you get a lot of sort of cross-chatter of the Man of Steel movie going into the, what's it called? Dawn of Justice one.

I like that. I haven't seen any of those, but I also like the notion of the story immediately continues. So like the first scene of the sitcom is all of those stories. It's the fallout from the end of the movie. Yeah.

And then opening credits, boom, we're in the worldout from the end of the movie yeah and then opening credits boom we're in the world i also like imagining the the pitch so they're in like in front of some executives some big film big dick executives with their big old checkbooks and they're like all right remember the events of we are your friends and they're like yes like okay there that's where we're picking up. Like, immediately just there. Nothing has happened yet because we're picking that ball up

right at where the credits were. As soon as Tanya Romero's box of money has been laid down on the concrete, we pick the film back up. Yes. That is the opening of We Were Your Friends. And Tanya Romero starts to take over the world by using the money to feed her monster i she swears vengeance on page so good yeah hard out which

actually funnily enough is like not totally dissimilar from the plot line of little shop of horrors and that there is this growing beast which gets bloodthirsty and starts to consume more than is rational. I like that movie. What, We Were Your Friends or Little Shop? We Were Your Friends is a TV show. I like Little Shop. Have you seen it, the Rick Moranis one? Yeah.

It's kitschy, eh? It's great. Real kitschy. Hey, did you notice that Ziccoli has got a picture of a squirrel on his headphones at the end? I did. First time I've noticed that. A nice touch. Yeah.

I also noticed that the tattoo that I suggested he got in Memoriam of Squirrel, he had it earlier in the... Oh, that was there? Yeah. Still a stellar find from you mate very eagle-eyed hey thanks i'll always i'll always respect you for that for that tattoo observation hey that was slightly wrong cheers dog um hey last thing before we start to close out i just want to say whatever james reed of the feelers story was about the fountains in Rome when they were all having a drink together, all three of them. Zicoli, Soph.

Yeah. James Reid. It's a garbage story. That story must have been terrible. The punchline to the joke was, and then I said to him, we're in Rome. Meet me at the fountain. There's fountains everywhere.

I was like, fountain? Which one? We're in Rome. I wrote at the fountain. There's fountains everywhere. I was like, fountain? Which one? We're in Rome. I wrote down the same fucking thing, man. That is a bad anecdote. It's a garbage story. It's a garbage into a garbage tale. And everyone laughs politely.

I know, and that's the problem. It is the problem. You're right. Shit stories are getting through because everyone keeps entertaining this notion that James Reid is a great storyteller. He ain't. He's not even a very good DJ so far as we can tell.

He's just a bottomless pit of money in PCP. This movie, by the way, decidedly pro-PCP. Pretty good front man for New Zealand rock band. Yeah. We shouldn't gloss over that. There's no... Because PCP is quite a...

Everything I know about it is that it's a very Destructive drug He feeds it Unknown To Zicoli, they have a great night out And then the next morning when he wakes up At his house, like if you wanted to show that PCP Can be destructive, don't wake up in a

Lovely house, put him in a gutter Yeah, exactly And don't have him be largely fine as well He looks gorgeous gorgeous as always and then when he's talking about uh how like he's like you were talking a big game last night and he's like yeah well i don't i shouldn't drink i don't usually drink whiskey and then he covers his mouth he says or take pcps if to be like oh don't want to let the cat out of the bag in front of your partner but then so and it cuts to sophie is like, oh, you've been taking PCP again.

Bro. And then no fallout. Yeah. Well, Sophie's not in a position of power to be able to call any shots on the feelers, James Reid. She is. That's the tricky thing about it. No, she's not really.

She sits under him. Yeah, but it's such a complicated relationship guy because she they are both a couple but she's also his employee yeah it's the fucked up thing about their relationship that is pretty it's a confusing it's a minefield out there yeah it sure is um but i tell you what i did not enjoy this watch in closing i did not enjoy this watch in closing. I did not enjoy it at all. It was really arduous. It was a big ask. And I don't want to watch it by myself anymore, for sure. So when you're coming home to Papa Bear, Guy Guy.

The next time you watch this movie, Tim. Yeah. Oh, it's hard to say. I'm in Australia for another week. I'd say there'll be another Skype one after this. Or I get back on the 13th, which I think is a week today. So I can't imagine it sitting very well with my gorgeous girlfriend if I scamper off the plane and into the waiting arms of Tim Batt

and the boys. I was with your girlfriend last night, Guy, actually. I'll complete that sentence. She came with us to Little Shop. Yeah, and I'm aware that you guys have got like a 24-hour window in between you coming back and her leaving for like two weeks or something.

It's madness. Hey, don't you air my dirty schedule laundry on the podcast you little bitch i i'm happy to cut this bit out if you want i do you know that i don't think i've oh there's one thing i can remember ever editing from the podcast since it began one single and it was only like three seconds and it was during um this season season when we did the live record. What was it? It was just a loose-lipped comment from you in a tangent, absentmindedly.

You were being whimsical but drunken and angry, and you just made a vague... Oh, that's right. I made an insulting remark about a family member of mine without even it being pointed at my family whatsoever but I've got some family members who listen. I've built it up to make it sound way worse than it actually was

by dancing around it. You told me you cut it out I was in the middle of a stupid riff saying that different family members from our respective families had had sex and it had made things awkward and and as far as i know the montgomery and bats uh have never no one's copulated with anyone no not so far as we know and look if they decide to have at it power to them but um it was a spurious rumor that you were spreading and i had to step in well you didn't really but that's that's literally the only thing i think i've cut in the whole like over 100 episodes we've

fuck maybe like 120 episodes or whatever that we've done well that is madness and so therefore the sophie comments stay that's fine by me uh yeah i'm about to get a phone call from some rural aust rural Australian radio station to tell them why they should watch a comedy show I'm doing next week. Great. Hey, well, you enjoy that. And I guess bye. And also thanks again to Big Pipe Broadband.

Go to bigpipe.co.nz. Can't forget them. And remember, everybody, don't bro me if you don't know me. Ow! This movie's still fine. There's a colleague, a pastor. One of the guys that goes screw. One of them's a hottie.

His name is Jay. One of them looks like Johnny Depp. And his name is Johnny Depp. Classic Maximum Joseph. Agree! Ah! You forget that films are supposed to have a point.