The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Sixteen - Knife

Episode Date: October 18, 2018

It's Winter, it's Queens Birthday Weekend. The stage is set. A roaring fire. A glass of red. An apple crumble (made from scratch by Tim). The lads have set in to discuss Grown Ups 2, a recent near death experience of Guy's, the radioactivity of bananas and Tim's brand new knife. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, welcome to the worst idea of all time with myself, Guy Montgomery. And me, Tim Batt. I felt like you were going to say Lambourne for a second there. I forgot my own last name. Sometimes it's hard even for me to tell which one I am. We're joining you on a reasonably cool Monday evening, the Monday of Queen's birthday.

I hope you've had a fantastic long weekend. We have a small glass of red wine each. And a happy birthday to you, Lizzie. 88 in June. Oh, yeah. Well, 89 in June. She's 88 now. There was a fire for a little bit. Tim, you made some crumble.

A controlled fire. A controlled fire, yeah. It wasn't like just some fire that happened. It was in a fireplace. Some crumble. Yeah, I made apple crumble. Did you like it? It went down well.

I was worried. I had one mouthful that was too hot, and I couldn't get all the flavors in my mouth. I know. And then after that, I was worried that you might have made a shit crumble, and then I was going to have had one mouthful that was too hot, and I couldn't get all the flavors in my mouth. I know. And then after that, I was worried that you might have made a shit crumble, and then I was going to have to awkwardly get through it and be like, oh, it's really great.

You can tell me if it's a shit crumble. But then I kept eating it. It was delicious. You did a really good job. But we've gone through so much together. You can tell me if I make a terrible crumble, man. I know. Look, just right off the bat,

something I would like to share. We got a lovely message today on the Facebook page from a man named... One moment, because you always have me up about this. This is the worst idea of all time podcast. A podcast in which myself and Guy Montgomery watch the movie Grown Ups 2 every week for a year. This is

episode 16, which means we've been watching the movie for four months. Wow. Is that right? That is correct. And it was a quick turnaround this week. Our schedules have been clashing, so we watched last week's one on a Thursday. It's a Monday. There's not much time in between to replenish.

No, sir. And your bloody TV, some guy's giving an old Oscar speech. It's flicked onto the next thing that's on there. This is let's not talk too much about the medium through which we're watching the film. That was cool. You did that on your phone. Yeah, it's got a remote.

Anyway, so we've got a comment today. Rowan Strang. Hello, Rowan. Yesterday I listened to every episode for the first time. Now I'm madly in love with the podcast. I've hated Grown Ups 2 since it bested Pacific Rim at the box office and derailed any chances of a sequel oh my god

however now I'm starting to love the film I'm tempted to watch it but I think I might wait until I've heard the 52nd episode keep up the good work Rowan

this is the sort of message that we increasingly need week to week yeah man especially this week this week more than most that was really good from Raoul thank you Rowan

thanks Rowan any other messages of support or opinions or discussion ideas, obviously you can get them through to us at the Facebook page. Because we need it. We do. And also actually a big shout-out to Sophie Dawson,

who promised me $5 if I gave her a shout-out. So this is the first money-making venture we've had in the podcast. We've got a sponsor. High five. It's our first sponsor. We're following the path. We venture we've had in the podcast. We've got a sponsor. High five. It's our first sponsor. We're following the path. We're like grown ups too now. That is correct. We're doing it for a paycheck. Anyway, now, into

the movie. Tim, this is a no nonsense, no frills approach to the watch. We just came in here you know, both reasonably well rested from the long weekend. Just sat down, strapped ourselves in for a bit of grown ups too. Oh yeah. How did you find the movie? Oh yeah. You know what I like to do with my long weekend, just sat down, strapped ourselves in for a bit of Grown Ups 2. Oh, yeah.

How did you find the movie? Oh, yeah. You know what I like to do with my long weekend? Light a fire, get that ample crumble out of the oven, pour myself a glass of red, and chuck on Grown Ups 2. And let me tell you something, Guy. Horrible decision. I fucking hate this movie. Three of those four things are a formula for a lovely night in. God damn it.

For a lovely girlfriend. four things that are a formula for a lovely night in. God damn it. But instead you have your surrogate girlfriend, you, and the glue in our relationship. I mean, did you take anything from it? Oh man, nah.

We were both worried we wouldn't have anything to talk about. Sometimes I can kind of appreciate the absurdity of the project. Our project, not the project of the film that they made, but not this week. This week I was just pissed off again that we had to watch it. What were you pissed off about?

Tell me all the times you felt pissed off. Well, it probably started with the deer. I'm okay with the terrific at the start, but that's just the production film insert. But pretty much everything after that point is downhill for me. Did you laugh? You had a few laugh points tonight. Yeah, I liked my flatmate Nick was here,

and he had a few genuine belly laughs, and I was like, oh, that's right. I remember a time when some of this was good. John Lovitz, he'll never get old. The day that he gets old, that's when we've watched it too many times. Some would say that we've already watched it too many times. I would argue no.

Not until John Lovitz stops being funny to me. He's become less consistently funny. Today. You ready? Okay, let's go. The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer. Everybody run! Ends here.

This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Borderlandslands now playing for me there is real value in uh and having fresh eyes on the movie in the room that's what i find that enlivens the viewing experience for me i said it before i say it again because then you get to consider the movie through virgin eyes. Because you've got such a strong sense of empathy, Guy, as a person. So you take on the energy. You're like Rogue in X-Men, which is a movie I did see the other day,

and shit, it was good, especially when you compare it to this movie I have to see every week. Do you ever worry that... Did you see X-Men yet? I'm not going to. It's real good, man. It's not really my cup of tea. It's good. But do you worry that your ability to measure and judge other

movies has been negatively impacted by like you've lost perspective that's a great question i'm glad you've brought that up because i've always been a fan of reasonably shit films like some of my favorite movies i can completely admit that they're terrible give Give us examples. Van Wilder Party Liaison. Yeah. Love it. How many times have you watched it? Probably, probably, probably 20, I would say. That's a lot. Yeah. Oh, maybe 15. Somewhere between 10 and 20, I reckon, closer to 20.

When's the last time you watched it? Fucking ages ago. Way too long ago. Like three years, maybe? There you go. You've aged a lot since then. Yeah. I don't know if it would have aged well oh the film oh yeah but it was bad to thank you it was bad to begin with uh like it's bad it's very bad it's a bad movie but ryan reynolds is so

undeniably charming but that's what this uh movie lacks a main character that you can get on board with you can get on board with peter dante the you know the co- main character that you can get on board with. You can get on board with Peter Dante, the co-policeman to Shaquille O'Neal. You can get on board with a lot of the periphery characters. Yeah, Peter Dante is great, man. Love Peter Dante. So do you think this is a fundamental flaw in the film? I think this is one of the few angles we haven't explored yet, is that the split protagonist, it is essentially four leads, isn't it?

Four male leads, four friends. We'll go through the problems with everyone annum sandler um unlikable and you know that he wrote the film so you know that he's responsible for this hot mess and uh it doesn't make any sense so immediately you kind of project that onto the character hot mess for me has positive connotations a hot mess is like like a hot mess for me is like something which is, it's rough around the edges, but you can see there's a fire burning within it, which is sort of like. Yeah, I use it that way too, but I just use it indiscriminately. So get on board.

Okay. Kevin James is, his character, Lamin's office. Deplorable. Just outright deplorable. That is the right word for him. Now we got Chris Rock, who just decided not to act in this film. He was just like, nah, I'll take the paycheck. I'll turn up, but I'd rather not do the work if it's all the same.

And it turns out it is all the same, because he didn't act and he still got paid. That's right. We even spotted one thing we hadn't seen before. Oh, God. Such specific details to a movie, which I'm pretty sure 90% of our listeners haven't seen. I hear. There's one scene where there's really heavily dubbed laughter, post-production laughter happening,

and you watch, it's just Chris Rock's back, and Chris Rock isn't even moving. He's vibrating a little bit. Definitely not him laughing. He didn't even have to sell the laugh with his face, just his body. If you look at me now, Tim, I've got my back to you. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, so you could be laughing. You're not laughing, but you look like you could be. Look at me. Look at me right now. You couldn't be laughing. You're just still. Yeah. That's Chris Rock.

And then David Spade, who we all agreed tonight is just, he's a likeable guy. Oh, yeah. We love Higgins. But I guess we like Higgins. But he's definitely not the main character. Yeah, well, to return to my original question, I was going to say a bit of banana. Get that on you, boy.

I mean, do you think that this movie, if they picked out... I want to tell you a fact, though, about bananas. Do you know they're the most radioactive fruit? No, I didn't know that. It's true. I'm really... Sorry, what were you going to say? I'm really stumbling into some great stuff here,

and you're bloody throwing banana chatter. Bananas are so radioactive that when they're taking banana trucks across the border from Mexico to America, they trip up the radiation alarms when they have a whole truck of them in together. No. Do you eat bananas? Yep.

I'm into them, bro. You told me you think I eat too many bananas Yeah, I said they give you cancer They won't give you cancer Yeah, totally The question I was trying to posit to him Is do you think this movie could work If they picked one of those four lead characters

And chose to make them a genuine Focal point in the movie So we followed their day And the others were more on the periphery. Or do you think this movie is just so inherently bad? Wouldn't you agree that they did? Like they tried that with Adam Sandler, and it was just a swing and a miss?

No, because we're not sitting here saying he's definitely the protagonist. He got the most screen time, but he's not a protagonist. Yeah. I think. I'm just theorizing here. I reckon it's all shit

so you think it's too much of a split well there's a lot of things wrong with the film I think we can all even those of you listening who have never seen the movie we can all agree

there's a lot wrong with it but your main gripe is that there's no central thread no it's not even a main gripe I was just trying to I was just trying to sort of here's what I have to say about that

stoke the conversational fire I do think that Adam sandler is the main protagonist in this film we start with him we end with him we explore his family the most uh we go through the struggles of his relationship with his wife there was a very there's a when adam sandler he's they're having a dinner i think i've stuck up from in this one speech before they're're about to have dinner. It's just after he's broken his son's leg and they're all sitting around the table. And he says one mean thing to Salma Hayek, but otherwise it's quite a heartfelt and reasonably pleasant little sort of...

Do you know what it is? Let's be grateful for each other in this meal. He's saying grace, but he's doing it in a way that won't offend atheists so that the movie can be sold to everyone Because Christians watching this film will go Oh he's saying grace before they eat their meal But he never actually mentions God

So it's like a pseudo religious ceremony Before they tuck in It's rubbish No it's not Because in America they're all about They love their God Especially the Midwest Where this movie would have been like targeted to

That beltway you know You reckon this movie was targeted at the Midwest? Yeah. Specifically? Well, just like, you know, that type of suburban, middle American family. Nothing to do. Yeah.

Let's go to the Cineplex and watch the latest Adam Sandler movie that publicity machine is shoving down our throat. That sounds like a real thing. And so, like, they will say, and also that mention of the troops that's ham-fistedly thrown in at the end it's all these little checkpoints that people go oh yeah that relates to my cultural values it's an american movie yeah a few american flags in there yeah but what i like basketball hero what i like is that i reckon they've suggested

that the uh teacher the english teacher do we know what subject he teaches? Nah. The hippie one. I reckon he sounds like he was a real draft dodger back in the day. Like he's old enough that he could have gone to NAMM but he fucked off.

I've invented backstories for everyone at this point. I got bored. Yeah, you gotta do it. Yep. Do you have a shining light this week, Brian? Shining light.

I was kind of struggling. Shining light. I was struggling. The shining light is the bit of the film that we experienced on this watch which we liked summer is here man probably summer is here man look i don't have one i'm just throwing something out there same teach we were just talking about the tim's draft dodger uh big physical gag i did actually it resonated with me the most that it has so far because you kept calling that big David Spade spinning through the town on a wheel gag,

Simpsons-esque. And I always thought it was vaguely Simpsons-esque, but it wasn't until you actually went to trouble of highlighting, because I'm always just sort of brain-dead through the whole experience. Yeah. You highlighted that it's because it checks off every character, much like the opening Simpsons. Like the couch gigs.

No, don't skip over it because these people haven't heard what we were talking about they have these people listen to all the podcasts no no no but I mean like they didn't hear us in the room

an hour ago when I mentioned well whose fault is that Tim what I was saying is there's a scene where Higgins gets in a tyre

when they're supposed to be at work in the garage in Lamansoft's garage and he's supposed to be caught by Adam Sandler but Adam Sandler

takes a phone call and so he rides through the whole town inside a tyre and he's supposed to be caught by adam sandler but adam sandler takes a phone call and so he rides through the whole town inside a tire and it's it was probably my favorite bit of the film this week it's my shining light and uh it's simpsons-esque because as you say every character's there and it's just got such a pace to it and there's so many little like physical gags do you think if you pulled out if you could pull out any segment of the movie and you had to show it to someone to try and say, please watch this movie. So you just get that you pull out one bit from the movie,

one cohesive bit as a whole, and you say, look, I know I've got a bad rap, and I know I've said some bad things about it before, but you might like it. What bit would you pull out and show someone? The ballet scene. What? I'd be trying to warn them in disguise

to not see it I see so you'd be doing like someone's got a gun to my head I don't want you to be I don't want you to be honourable

I want you to you want me to honestly trick someone I want you to trick someone because for me yes it would just be

the gym teacher saying who wants to watch me climb a rope it's like three seconds well I know we don't have a lot to work with here tim but that but if you showed that to anyone that is a standalone funny

like that's just good comedy um and now all you can think about is how right i am and how no other part of the movie well i was trying to think of the ice cream scene but cut it off before he starts looking like he's crapping into the ice cream sundae machine. So what, just delete him when Adam suddenly yells at his kid? Yeah, I know. See, there's problems with everything. Oh, maybe the car wash scene, because it's got Andy Samberg in it, who I like. I see.

Maybe that. You could take a little bit of that, just all of the characters, and show it to someone, and they'd be like, oh, I wonder I wonder how I wonder I wonder if this will be good how's your week been anyway guy

yeah good mate I had a lovely long weekend in Rotoruiti how is Rotoruiti it's good I don't know if I've ever been there it's really cool it's smell

it's the sulphur is really strong but you do you sort of acclimatise very quickly and so it's no longer a smell that you notice I had a really cool time

we went out for a kayak found some sort of natural hot pools cool you dig into the rocks and it gets hotter the further down you go

wow yeah it was cool that's awesome that sounds real cool it was great what a juxtaposition for this film mate you were in god's moments ago

half i drove back in a van today yeah we almost got killed in the van oh tell me that story a guy was the guy driving it was just mindlessly checking this we were already sort of touch and go energy wise we'll say like i was going to say in terms of legality because there's no seats in the back of the van there's just sort of a big bed set up and there were five of us back there five men okay big bulky men you've seen me with my shirt off and then in the front seat there was charlotte the lovely charlotte whose van it is and johnny who was driving the van because charlotte was tired and uh and johnny looked at his phone and then like we're all just sort of looking around talking to each other having a whale of a time back there and suddenly we're in like a 30 meter

skid like we just hear charlotte go johnny and they're in a 30 meter skid whoa and then like we look up and it's just the the the reeks of burnt rubber and there's this huge like backlog of traffic and we're like we're outside of so here's this lane there's there's two lanes yeah yeah and we're on the outside like in between the fucking lane and the grass okay it was like it was full-on adrenaline rush man wait so what had happened had johnny turned out he just looked at his phone like a fuckwit listen if you take one thing away from the podcast don't text and drive for the love of god and then anyway so i sat in this van for five hours, just tangled up in men. And there was only a half hour turnaround between arriving in Auckland and coming around to your place and watching the film.

But you were lovely tonight. You did the crumble, the wine, the fire. You really picked me up. Oh, that's good, man. I'm glad I could be here for you. How was your long weekend? It was really lovely, man. I started off Friday with a hiss and a roar.

I got drunker than I've been in quite some time. I think people were getting a bit worried about me Because I was dancing And people were like, Tim's out of control Not a natural mood Also, it's been a rollercoaster of a couple of days This long weekend, because I bought a knife And then I lost it really quickly

But then I was talking about it on The radio show that I do on a Saturday morning And someone texted me going, no no, it's here mate It's at home, you left it at home I was like, oh sweet, so I was talking about it on the radio show that I do on a Saturday morning and someone texted me going no no it's here mate it's at home you left it at home I was like oh sweet so I was real stoked Today You ready? Okay let's go The hunt for the wildest movie of the

summer. Everybody run! Ends here. This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands. Now playing. Why did you buy a knife? A dairy shut down on Queen Street that's been there for 24 years

and I like to support local business so I bought a knife from them. It's a cool knife though. Have you seen it? It's weird bro. I don't like the idea of you being a knife guy. it's a cool knife though have you seen it i don't want you i don't i don't like the idea of you being a knife guy that's the knife what are you gonna do with that i don't know man just carry it around i'm gonna be a knife guy now that's not how good things happen they don't

start by just buying a cut a cut price knife real careful don't do that do that just run your thumb across it you'll see how sharp it is this is not a visual podcast mate this is no good to us or the listener it's not a switch we agreed to do a top three this week tim yeah man uh top three top three knives top three pieces of product placement in the film do you want to start do you want to take one uh three and one or two well i think we all have to agree that number one is kmart oh yeah there's no way around it oh yeah um and then i actually quite liked tropicana's product placement oh nice supermarket scenes just the whole row of juice just sitting down in the bottom left of shot there's some good lines and maybe thirsty for juice i mean that's what the product

placement is there to do it's there to advertise the product as a big tech geek guy big nerd i like the fact that sony via is so prominent in the film, because that's a brand that doesn't exist anymore. It was the label that Sony put on their computer line. They called them Vio, but they stopped making them last year. Not a good product. R.I.P. Not a good product.

No, they're a fine product, just Sony decided to not market them as Vio anymore. So now they're just called Sony computers, Sony laptops. Or maybe they stopped making computers. Can't remember. But at any rate, Vio, the brand, is gone, but it's in the film.

So it's, like, captured in time. So that's number two for me. So boring. It's in there. Such a weird thing to know. It's in there. Listen to you. You're ranting about former computers.

Put your knife away. Do you want to go back to the knife? Oh, man. I don't know. we must be close to 20 I reckon let's hit it and quit it nah bro there's more

there's more juice in this grape what do you got you have to provide it because I'm saying let's get out of here the thing about the film is

you shouldn't watch it and I know we say this every week but some people they wanted to fire us and it was on Sky Movies. I think Sky Movies works in cycles. I think there's going to be a lot of opportunities to watch it.

If it works with our schedules, you had a great idea, Tim. Twitter party. Twitter party, yeah. If we can figure out an appropriate time, we'll advertise it on the Facebook that it's playing on the Sky Movies. It would be quite good to do a week's screening and see if anyone else is free and we could get everyone on Twitter. Yeah, I'd be into that. It'd be quite good to do a week's screening and see if anyone else is free, and we could get everyone on Twitter. Yeah, I'd be into that.

I'd be big into that. Because the thing is, I'm really unhappy about the film and the fact that we have to watch it so many times, so we need a little fuel from you guys. I need to borrow from your energy. We love it when you... Please, if you do listen to the podcast

Jump on that Facebook And if you haven't liked it Go and like it And if you haven't commented Leave a little comment or something You sound too desperate I know I do Come on

We're meant to be coy We're the cool guys Sitting in your lounge I'm not cool Real close together on a couch There's nothing cool about it Three pillows and a blanket Muffling our microphone

The only cool thing about it is this knife okay I'm gonna call it I'm gonna say that's enough for this week hey thank you so much

for listening I've been Guy Montgomery I've been Tim Batt and we'll see you next week for number 17 this is the knife saying bye

that really worked. Today. You ready? Okay, let's go. The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer ends here this is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately borderlands now playing