The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Ten - Drinking

Episode Date: October 12, 2018

DOUBLE DIGITS BITCHES! They said it couldn't be done, but guess what? Guy and Tim have now watched Grown Ups 2 once a week for ten weeks in a row. To spice up and celebrate, the lads introduce the rules and fallout, for the GROWN UPS 2 DRINKING GAME! Enjoy their suffering. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

now we've started the podcast watch number 10 watch number 10 of the grown-ups to guy and tim guy guy and tim and guy montgomery and the grown-ups to grown-ups to so we've watched grown-ups to 10 times now and as uh long-time fans of the podcast will know, welcome along to another episode of the Worst Idea of All Time. This was the episode with Tim Batt. And Guy Montgomery. This was the episode where we allowed ourselves to start having a little bit of fun and games. And we drank beer.

We drank a lot of beer. And it feels great. And we've got some pizza in the studio. We ate a little bit of pizza. There's no lie. We we've got some pizza in the studio we ate a little bit of pizza there's no lie we still got some left so here's how how's how this week carved up folks wait let's not dive straight into it let's talk about life okay Oh, life. Oh, life. I'm afraid of the dark. What is the original song? No one knows.

I get the shivers. I'll take you up on a day. You're freaking me out with your voice. Anytime, anywhere. All right. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. All right. Why don't you jump jumping I don't care

life oh life seriously oh life oh life it's a 20 minute podcast do do do

do life oh life oh life oh life do do do do okay

fine do do do do seriously bro do do do Whole life Okay So Seriously bro? That's enough So what we've attempted to do on this The Tenth Watch of Grown Ups 2 Is Develop something of a drinking game For you all at home to follow

So our common advice for the podcast has always been Never watch the film Don't watch the movie Just listen to the podcast. No. No, there's a reason. Things have changed. Things have changed.

Well, this is our last piece of pizza each, so don't worry too much. It seems wrong that we did this when Jesus was getting out of bed, if you know what I'm saying. No, does it? It's Easter Monday, and much like our terrible shambles of the podcast, which I felt died in our ninth episode, we're resurrecting it to unimaginable height. In the same way we resurrected this old pizza that you had.

I tell you what. All it involves is an oven. Tastes good. Yeah. It does taste good. Look, guys. Here's the situation. I know we've been bouncing around like a fucking ball recently.

Ups and downs, highs and lows. You don't know how to feel. We don't know how to feel. But quite frankly, week 10, nearly one-fifth into the podcast, I feel great. I feel awesome. I've had I've had even one

I've had like six four, five, six seven beers six beers each some are in there some are in the range but six and it's just

it just makes the movie better okay so we've come up with some rules some we've come up with a comprehensive book of rules and the issue I guess

is that if you haven't seen the movie this is going to sound like nonsense but if you have seen the movie, you're an idiot. But I respect you as well. And now, if you want to watch it again, you can do it with these exciting additions.

Actually, it gets better. If you haven't seen the movie... What did I tell you? Before we started recording, I said don't yell into the mic. You're already yelling. Chill out, guy. This is a good reason to watch the movie it's a good reason to yell i'm sorry for it no it's okay i'm sorry why don't you hey mr cool responsible guy why don't you read the rules out and dude guy dude hey how cool are we we're hugging now

listen we are we've got our temples on each other's temples listen listener This is what went down this week for the worst idea of all time. Guy and I set out to watch the movie and make up a drinking game as we went along watching it. Now, we feel that we were well-versed enough in the film to be able to pick what would be a good rhythm and pick some good moments and recurring gags to pick when you should drink. And I think we did a pretty fucking good job, if you ask me.

No, I think we did too. I think also, I mean, there's a level of coherence still which suggests that we could have pushed the boat out further. Yeah. I think relative to what we have to do after the movie and what you, I mean, you might watch the movie on a Monday morning and also have things to do, so we wouldn't want to write you off.

Here's the beauty of the drinking game, Grown Ups 2 drinking game. You can do it before you go to work on a monday absolutely you gotta get up a little early because the movie's 101 minutes so just bear that in mind okay you'll be starting the day at six should we start at the start garmont gomero let's start at the very beginning it's a very good place to start love that i. I think that's a song. I'm a musical fan. No, it's from, you know.

What's it from? It's from With the Mountains and Julie Andrews. Sound of the Music. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's from Sound of the Music. You remember earlier in the podcast I was like, I want to do this so that we can become better friends. Right now you're patting my left bicep.

We're sitting literally almost on top of each other because i've been drinking have you got an armani watch yeah i got it was that before i've never worn it before good god i've won no i've obviously worn it before wait a minute isn't that tim lamborn's watch tim lamborn might have worn this watch but this is definitely my watch shit my uncle who's also my godfather gave it to me for my 21st. Pretty sure I heard that same story from old Lambo. But anyway, here's how you play the Grown Ups 2 drinking game. Number one. Numero uno.

Legally purchase a copy of Grown Ups 2. Well. Download Grown Ups 2 from the internet. That's what I'm talking about. Number two. Open a beer at the establishing shot. You'll recognize this as being the grand, sweeping, panning shot of beautiful trees over the great state of Minnesota. Connecticut.

Connecticut. If that's a state, it's unimportant. It is. I Googled it after our last thing, and boy, do I feel like an idiot because I kept saying it was the city. It's not. It's a state. So you've got your open beer.

Careful with that now. Just getting it out of the way. That was Guy Montgomery moving the pizza box. I'm getting a new angle on this. No, no, no. Respect where the microphone is. Respect it. I just want to lean on the couch like this.

Okay. Let me get in too. So, you've got your open beer at the establishing shot. Now, you need to drink every time that the deer takes a piss on someone, which, let me tell you, comes pretty hard and fast at the start of the movie. We're rolling our sleeves up and getting down and dirty in the garden pretty much

right off the bat with this one. Now, let me say this. For this drinking game, I've marked down how many times each occurrence happens in the film, and they're rough, but I think they're pretty accurate. I think we should put a photo of these notes on the internet okay well we'll do that later it's i mean it's a good looking bit of paper but it's a shambles it's a it's a yellow which is easier on the eyes it's a legal you know the etymology of the word shambles no neither

it's a good word though shambles it's almost onomatopoeia isn't it because it's like shambles because it sounds like no no i know it's not but it sounds like it's just so descriptive and the sound of the word another word i like cross as in don't make me cross underused sort of like it's what your mom used to say when you were eight and you had lots of marshmallows before dinner she said you'll spoil your appetite it'll make me cross the dare passing on different people in the film

has a total tally as far as I could tell of three um two oh yeah that's a two the second thing

that you want to do is you want to take a drink every time that Adam Sandler does the Adam Sandler yell and you'll know I'm not talking about yelling how many times that you want to do is you want to take a drink every time that Adam Sandler does the Adam Sandler yell. And you'll know this is... I'm not talking about yelling!

How many times do I have to say it, bro? Don't yell on the fucking podcast. That was an example. That was important. Jesus. That was useful. Well, now I'm going to have to, like...

What? Edit that bit of audio because you probably peaked it. If you had a better microphone, it would absorb the sound I'm throwing down. Well, if you had a microphone, we wouldn't have to use my microphone I'm throwing back at you.

If we're going to be talking about this stuff, what we should also talk about is the fact that this is the first time we've watched the movie in a different setting. Is it? Well, usually. Oh, it is. We watch it at your house. Yeah. And today you said, I'm looking after some fish. I've got to go feed the fish.

Let's make an event of it. I'm looking after some fish. I've got to go feed the fish. Let's make an event of it. I'm looking after a mate's place. And so we decided to watch it there for a little change in pace. For those of you who don't speak in Zee Deutsch, that's change in pace. And here we are. And you might speak Dutch and just not understand Tim's awful Dutch accent.

Well, it was German, not Dutch. Well, the last bit, not the first bit. The first bit was Poor English At any rate Let's press forward So Adam Sandler yelling Doing the edit

So yeah As I say Guy actually presented A pretty good example of it He peaked out the mic But That's what the Adam Sandler yell Sounds like

When he talks like this You know how Adam Sandler does Whenever anyone says the word crazy, which is actually surprising. No, no, hold on. We're going to give the totals through all of this as well. As a heads up. We should surprise them.

What do you reckon? I don't know. Oh, game changer. I'm going to do a wee. Oh, okay. I'll take over. Take a wee real quick. You'll be real quick?

You'll be real quick. Okay. Don't fuck up the pot. Okay, sweet as. So I'm not going to tell you the total we'll go on with this thing of not saying the total so yeah the word crazy

now I put a question mark on this one because I wasn't sure if it was going to come up too much and too frequently in the film but it turns out it's at just the right amount that you can take a swig of beer oh yeah by the way every time that we're saying like one of these rules, that means you should take just a little swig of beer or wine,

whatever you're drinking, okay? Okay, so so far, just to recap, you open your beer at the establishing shot with the pan over the trees. We've got the deer taking a piss on someone, you take a sip. Adam Sandler yell, you take a sip. Someone saying the word crazy, you take a sip. Adam Sandler yell, you take a sip. Someone saying the word crazy, you take a sip. The next rule is giggles worth. If someone says giggles worth

in this film, you take a sip. And I'm gonna give you a hot tip, it happens seven times. Now, the next rule is every time that Bean's an idiot, and you're probably wondering to yourself, because we warned you not to watch the movie, you're going to yourself, who the fuck is Bean? Well, let me tell you who Bean is is bean is one of two actors who are twins they're child actors and they're twins

like the olsen twins and they're both playing the same character of kevin james's kid and his mom's decided to take this track of parenting where you don't correct them when they're wrong because that might destroy their confidence so you just encourage them it doesn't matter what they say it doesn't matter if they're right or wrong you just encourage them so being is a goddamn retard and every time you see an example of this happening on screen you take a drink now i'm gonna give you a heads up good stuff that happens i don't know if we can see it in the podcast to be honest go on oh that's perfect that was bloody perfect so that happens half a dozen times uh here's

we were up to guy hiccups so now we were actually tossing up in the film whether you should drink every time someone says hiccups or every time someone says Higgins. I worry that we are boring right now. Let's brush it up then. I would like to talk to you about morning tea. What do you have, bruh? I don't have morning tea. I don't have anything before 1pm today. I picked up Tim today to come and watch this podcast and feed these fish.

And you said you've been living off of exclusively fat and sugar. Yeah. So mochaccino was the sugar and the night before was the pizza, which we finished off. And you said, I'm only on trail mix now. And you bought a big bag of trail mix. Oh yeah, the trail mix. Hold on, I'll be right back. What did you do with the trail mix, Tim?

Be right back. What did you do with the trail mix? What did you do with the trail mix? This guy is blatantly an image trail mix eater. He doesn't actually like it he just carries around a bag of trail mix in the same way your friend carries around a Hemingway book. It's purely

so people think that he's healthy. Well guess who doesn't get any trail mix now bitch? Chloe Sessom and her trail mix? No absolutely not. Absolutely not. Continue with the rules. No, you don't get any. Continue with the rules.

Oh. So we chose hiccups. At one point we talked about it before, Salma Hayek yells out, Have a great day. Have a wonderful day, my beautiful children. I love you. Whoa! At that point, you must sink the rest of your vessel,

just because we feel like that's the sort of first moment in the movie whereby you're like, okay, we're in this thing now. By this stage, you've already had quite a lot of your beer, and you should be at a near finish point. And this leads brilliantly into the next rule, which is the first arrival of Nick, the drugged-up bus driver, means that you have to eat a whole banana. Now, obviously, this isn't alcohol.

It's just a really good idea. You're underselling this bit. The banana thing is because he says the line. Oh, fuck. Who knows what his exact wording is? But he says. My wife's leaving me. After six weeks?

After three weeks. Three weeks. Because she caught him eating a banana with his butt to be fair I shouldn't have been doing it at her mom's house so I came up with

the hilarious suggestion that you have to eat a banana at that point there's so much on this piece of paper we're not going to get through it all

on a podcast are we yeah we will how long have we been going oh shit quite a while 14 minutes really

yeah believe it or not. Oh god this trail mix is off the hook. Yeah it's a good trail mix. Okay.

It's good. Anyway you've got to eat bananas. No no no listen let me dwell on the banana for just a moment because the banana is a hilarious

fruit to eat midway through a drinking game because if there's any fruit that's going to make you vomit it's going to be a god damn banana so it's funny

that you have to eat it this early into the film. Bananas are actually a great source of slow burning energy and potassium you want a fun fact about bananas they're probably the most radioactive fruit that exists really yeah you know i can deep through throat depending on the size i can deep throat a whole banana dude i have got a mate of mine who used to be able to deep throat at a banana yeah get your camera ready yeah I'm gonna get the banana oh could we maybe do it after the podcast

no take a photo of it oh you've got a banana right there hold on alright so this is happening live okay so what

do you want me to take a video or a still I don't know probably a video eh oh hold on it's pointed at me I've got to change the cameras oh god how do I do oh eh? Oh, hold on. It's pointed at me. I've got to change the cameras.

Oh, God. How do I do... Oh, shit. It's recording. Hold on. Just excuse us, folks, for just a moment. It's a dangerous game, playing this drinking game and then doing the podcast. Okay, hold on. Here we go.

Okay, I'm on video mode and I'm on your face. So, let's see... Are we rolling? Are you rolling? Do it. This is Guy Montgomery from the worst lady of all time. Deep throating a banana. The big banana. You can't do that at all.

I can. You can't do it at all. It's gone wrong. That was so... I'm stopping recording. That was so shit. I'm going to put that up on the Facebook so you can laugh at Guy Montgomery. Wait.

That was so shit, bro. You can't deep throat shit. Oh, it's misshapen. Look at that. That's not how a banana should go down. Are you kidding me? That's just a straight banana. Like, that's what a banana looks like, bro.

No, look. See how it curves up at the end? Look. See how it curves up at the end? Bro, eat a dick. Or a banana, if you could. See how it curves up at the end? That's not how a banana usually curves.

I'm going to try and find a clip. I've got a mate of mine who can deep throat. Oh, here we go. I've got a mate of mine who can deep throat a banana like you wouldn't even fucking credit, bro. I'm really. Hold on. Let me put this on full screen mode on my phone. There'll be a few people listening who I know that my friend Jono listens.

He went to high school with me. He's seen me deep throat bananas. Well, I don't believe Okay check this out This is my mate Gary Pointon Who works for He's a radio dude

Wait Is that a peeled banana? Yeah it is But look Look at that I can do that I can straight up Fuck off

You can't do that He put the entire banana I'm about to do it With a peeled banana right now Let me see it Start rolling again Let me the entire banana I'm about to do it with a peel banana right now Let me see it Start rolling again Let me see it I'm not going to record it

I don't trust you No record You have to record it Destroy my trust Where did you get the banana anyway? I bought it Really? Or is it Matt's banana?

It's my banana I bought a banana Okay Fucking asshole Alright dick I'm rolling It's a fucking banana I quit

Alright this is Guy Montgomery take two deep throating a banana okay here we go oh jeez you've broken it

you broke the head off it okay but I'll still be impressed if you can deep throat that you are you are full of shit bro I'm bleeding

is that blood it's from before it's because of the upwards facing part of the banana That's so gross Turn the camera off man That's disgusting Oh my god Can Montgomery's banana have blood on it?

What's this mouth? I don't know what to think That's really quite heavy Do you have AIDS, bro? This is so weird. Straight up. I told you it hurt. Because the banana and the skin on it was pointing up at the back.

I'm very freaked out. No, no, no. It's fine. Dude, we're at the 18 minute mark. We've got to move through the drinking game. We'll post the drinking game online. No. We're going to move through.

I've got to go see a fucking doctor, man. Holy shit, bro. You've got something seriously wrong with seriously wrong with you no honestly i scratched the back of my mouth i'm fine i don't know if you are dude um so the next bit where you want to drink too much we're never gonna get through all this stuff is um okay where we're up to oh okay so the next instruction is you want some of the banana you've got to can you throw it away or something don't

it's got your blood on it you've got to boo Adam Sandler at the bus driver line oh yeah that's right it's one of the low lights of the film where Adam Sandler

comes and says attention ladies and gentlemen this is your bus driver this is your new bus driver ladies and gentlemen meet your new bus driver. And he plays the clarinet with his hands, miming. It's the low light of the film.

You've got to boo Adam Sandler, like audibly boo him when he comes on stage. And by that, I mean screen. So, you've just finished a beer when Selma Hayek said, Have a great day, my children. I love you all. We're up to, like, number six. You've got about 18 more. Yeah.

What's going to take up more time, pushing through or yelling about it? I'm not yelling. You've got about 18 more. Yeah. Well, what's going to take up more time? Pushing through or yelling about it? I'm not yelling. You are yelling. We'll put the rules online. If you want the rules, you can find them online. We need to do our shining light. We need to do our shining light.

We need to do our shining light. My shining light this week was Adam Sandler's daughter. She is a fantastic actor. Potentially the best actor in the whole film. Very convincing and cute. How old is she? I don't know. I haven't actually IMDb'd her.

Guess. Ten. That's a good guess. You know who else I IMDb'd? It was the gay yoga teacher. And he, I thought he was familiar, but I don't even recognise him or anything. He was on Dawson's Creek for two seasons in 2002, 2003. I kept thinking he was the host of The Amazing Race.

That's Phil Keegan. Yeah, there was a Kiwi dude, Phil. Yeah. My man. He's hot, though. He looks like Phil Keegan. The yoga teacher is hot. The next rule in the drinking game...

We're not going to get through. I'm not even going to let you in. You're teasing them with this. You've got to drink every time that there's a push-up bra on screen, and it happens half a dozen times. But it's not like every time... You see a push-up bra. That would be too much.

Yeah, yeah. It's every time there's, like, a new push-up bra scene. Well, it's just shining light, bro. Shut up. No, no, no, come on. Every time Nick gets in... Do the shining light, we'll get out of here,

post it online. No. Because we've got to explain the nuance of it. This thing isn't a Facebook group. This is a podcast. The rules are going to go on the Facebook group.

We're not going to get through these. They're going on the podcast. We've got time. You've wasted too much of our time. You have wasted too much. You have been disrespectful not only to me, but also the podcast. And I guess what really fucks me off the most've wasted too much You've been disrespectful Not only to me But also the podcast

And I guess what really Fucks me off the most Is the listeners You've been disrespecting The listeners this whole podcast Nick gets injured You take a drink When John Lovitz is on screen

You applaud him You take a drink On his golden lines And there are four of them Let's see if we can Name them off Quick succession Number one is

If you please If you quick succession number one is uh uh if you please if you please the second one is say it's true even if it isn't the third one is you're all prostitutes and the fourth one is in a completely different scene when he says i'm having a wonderful time okay so the word came up whenever that is said Or visible You take a drink That happens half a dozen times In the film Every time you feel bad For Steve Buscemi

In the state of his career Have a drink That happens five times During the course of the film Keep going Every time there is a burp snart Now we haven't fully established the rule But I am going to postulate

Because this is what we did this time Just high five whoever's around you Give them a real good high five It'll be good for morale keep going i've got a really sore throat by the way ballet when the ballet scene happens which is the second low light point of the film second of two there's only two and this is the second one so this is when the production music that's really terrible plays you got to slap yourself right in the face this is breathing real dancing and the production music's on. Keep going. Whenever you have a genuine laugh at the film, you have to drink.

At the movie. At the world of the movie. Not something about... Not what your mates are doing. No. You have to be laughing at the movie. If you catch yourself laughing, you better have a sip of that beer or wine, friend. Every time Brayden does something awesome, have a drink.

Now, this includes the bit where he busts out a knife and cuts the head off a teddy bear. I think this is subjective. I think you get to choose when you think Braden's being awesome. Well, I'm going to name the ones that we named awesome. Also, when he does the dive into the creek off Suicide 35, you take a drink then because he does a mean flip, bro. God damn, that's a mean flip. And also, of course, the gif,

which you'll know about if you are a fan on our Facebook group, where he just chucks the thumb up and says, Summertime. Also, take a drink when the director of photography gets bored. This is in the bit at the creek when, out of nowhere, it seems like there's just a music video popping up. Now, every time someone jumps off Suicide 35, you gotta take a drink. That happens about four or five times. Keep going.

Quick, quick, quick. When... I can't read that. I can read it. Who is it? Who caterpillars? Becky or Donna? When Donna caterpillars you must caterpillar. Oh you've got a caterpillar or someone has to caterpillar in the room. Let me say this right now. Guy and I have done every part of this except for eating the

banana. Although Guy just did that now. We've done every part of this of the rules that we've laying down. So we're like, we're with you on this journey. Every time Adam Sandler tries to medicate one of his kids with drugs and the kid doesn't want it, you have to drink. Every time Shaquille O'Neal urinates in a pool,

you have to drink. Every time... Every time Andy Samberg is on screen in a different shot, you have to drink. That happens three times. Every time a dogberg is on screen in a different shot, you have to drink. That happens three times. Every time a dog drinks a beer, you have to drink. You have to finish your beer. You finish your beer when that beer finishes.

Now, when the song Angel and the Cinephile comes on, you've got to sing the words to it. Because everyone knows it. You don't have to sing the words, just the tune. Those are the words. What's the last thing here? Song, ring, but cross-section of characters. Oh, yeah. That was just me trying to figure out,

what is that song that runs over that last bit? You're never going to know. Do you know what I mean? Okay, for those of you who haven't been sitting in the room, which is everyone, there's a scene right close to the end. That's all we have time for this week. Where it goes. This is the worst idea of all time. Goes through all the characters having dinner at their family's place.

Tune in next week for episode 11. Just hold on for a second. There's a song that plays throughout that whole scene. It goes for about two minutes, but super quietly. And I haven't been able to figure out what the song is or who it's by you know mystery

oh my god let's go home guys we're going to post the rules up for the official worst idea of all time drinking game online so you can grab it from facebook.com slash worst idea of all time but on behalf of Guy Montgomery I'd like to say thanks for listening.

I'd also like to say on behalf of Timbatt, thanks for listening. Come check out my comedy show, Timbatt Saves Planet Earth, starting at the Cavern Club in Wellington on the 29th of April, running all the way through to the 3rd of May. I would also invite you to come and see my comedy show

in the festival, which is nominated for a Billy T. It's called Guy Montgomery Presents a Succinct and... What? Concise Summary of How He Feels About Certain Things, which you can buy tickets from from comedyfestival.co.nz, and that's going to be on in Wellington from the 29th of April at the Fringe Bar.

That's right. Otherwise, unless you want to have a great time like we did on a Monday morning, don't watch the movie. Don't watch the movie. Unless you're drinking. In which case, do this. Happy Easter. Oh, yeah.

Happy Zombie Jesus Holiday. Love you guys. Love you.