The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Thirty Nine - Southern

Episode Date: November 19, 2015

Guy and Tim seem to have subbed out for two good ol boys from the American South - Stevenson and Warren. They share stories from their past, their family and their unique perspective on the film shaped by their southern upbringing. BIGPIPE BROADBAND supports this episode, Brady watches over it and Warren and Stevenson wrap it on a musical number. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome along to the worst idea of all time Season 2 featuring me, Guy Montgomery Flavour And myself, Tim Batt, Limited Edition Heya Tim Two gifts this week, two kisses for a kiss is always a gift Oh thank you very much guys, much appreciated You sounded a little interesting there. Oh, it's much appreciated.

Much appreciated. It's almost like a New Zealand Woody Allen. Well, we've just watched Sex and the City 2 for the 39th time. Yeah. 38. Who cares? It's episode 39. We've watched it 38 times.

It really couldn't be of less importance to me. That's true. It's Tim and I. We're doing it every week until we can't take it anymore. You know what I'm sick of? The slow ramping. Every episode, we've got to find our feet a little bit. Got to get the engine warmed up.

How does one just... We've got to come out the gate hot. We're tending to the stray sheep. So a sheep might wander in here having never heard the podcast before. They've got no idea. Excellent. That's not how Darwinism works. If you're a stray sheep, you get killed and you don't get to breed

and your genes don't get passed on to the next generation. I want strong podcast listeners. You get killed and boiled. You know? I want nothing but the best. I want them whittled down. Your wool made into a sweatshirt. Your meat made into a stew.

What I wouldn't give for a hearty lamb and rosemary stew right now. I'm going to slow roast them eyeballs. I'm going to put it in the stomach and I'm going to serve it as haggis. That's what I'm going to do. Is that what haggis? You put eyeballs in haggis? Eyeballs in the stomach. That sounds...

Even if it is just a sheep, inhumane. Is that truly? Well, we would definitely kill the sheep first. Well, obviously, but it's still... Anyway, it's mighty odd. Listen, I'm going to do the rest of the podcast like this I do not believe it If that is quite alright

For a second I would like to attribute this podcast To the good folks Who provide fantastic internet service From Big Pop I too would like to join you In celebrating The magnificence

Of Big Pipe B-I-G-P-I-P-E Big Pipe That's right They are based out of Big Pipe. B-I-G-P-I-P-E. Big Pipe. That's right. They are based out of Big Pipe underneath the Pacific Ocean, and God knows how, but they are delivering fantastic service and very competitive deals across the board, right across the board. So far, they have evaded the rat armies, but they can only last for so long. Well, Brady has been putting a lot of time and energy into making these rats amphibious. An amphibirat.

Not to be trifled with, to say the least. Absolutely not. We thought that we could protect ourselves with a large body of water, but now damn tricky old rats have learned how to make rafts. I mean, you gotta drown a few rats to get an amphibirat, and that's tattooed across Brady's forehead

at the moment. That's the Tattoo Mantra of the Week, which of course is a weekly feature in Brady's newsletters, but you all know that we are all under the iron rule of Brady the Rat King. I would like to remind everyone, if you have Communicate to get out, you should be using BibPip to do it, because they will not throttle your speed, sir. They will not enforce some sort of convoluted contract upon you. They will not enforce any sort of data caps. You will be free to choose your own headgear and download and upload as much internet business as you do please, so long as it abides the propaganda campaigns which are strictly enforced by Brady's Amphibiarat henchmen. If you are in New Zealand,

New Zealand, New Zealand, you need to sign up at bigpipe.co.nz and use the code WORSTIDEA to get a free month. And that will signal to the corporation that we sent you. Do not mistake typing in WOR idea as in, oh boy, getting involved with these big pop fellas is the worst idea. That is a code name. Think of it.

This was not the best code to use as a promotional signaler. Well, you live and you learn. I mean, selling the podcast as a concept to advertisers You go, it's called the worst idea of all time A lot of them, they'll laugh you out of the place They say, well, we're not interested Now, Big Pop, though, they look at the numbers And they say, you boys made something out of this

You boys, on paper, you ain't done much Except for watch a movie a bunch of times You simpletons But look at all the people listening at you There's a couple of them A lot of people say, oh, you boys must definitely be losing your minds at this juncture. We say, no, sir. We are simple folk from Louisiana, and we are built of stronger stuff than to lose our riddly minds after a few watches of a film. I like to say, we may be losing our minds, but we're finding our feet. That is beautiful.

Thank you, I read it in a fortune cookie. I went to a Chinese restaurant recently and I did like it a lot. Mmm, what'd you eat? I ate dumplings. Dumplings? Lamb dumplings. Oh. Haggis dumplings, which is a dumpling made of haggis made of eyeballs wrapped in stomach. That sounds like Scottish-Chinese fusion.

And frankly, that is a combination of flavors I do not care to sample. Now, I'd like to kick things off this week, if I may, Warren, with a question which comes from Henry Stewart of Potts Point, New South Wales. Please go right ahead, Stevenson. He says, at this point into the journey, I'm fascinated as to, of course, I should probably do his accent if I'm going to read his email. Oh, this is a fan of the show? This someone who's gotten in touch with us? Absolutely. Okay. At this point into the journey, I'm fascinated as to how you guys would react to a

director's cut being released. You'd get new material and some sweet variation injected into your weekly flagellation. Two variations on this question. How would your feeling change if you include an additional 30 minutes of screen time, but half of the new material was devoted to Brady? Or how would you feel if it just reduced Miranda's speaking time by 20 minutes, but they also cut out Coffee Guy? Henry. Well, can I say, before I begin my answer, I could not tip my hat more to you.

Oh, thank you. For representing that fine gentleman from the antipodes in the bottom of the Pacific, Australia. Why, thank you. Thank you, Warren. Your compliments mean the world to me and my wife, Cassandra. I can barely contain my excitement to run out of this here recording studio and tell her what you just told me right now. But I'll stick around because I'm curious as to your answer to this two-part question. Now, Stevenson, the first part of the question I understood very well. A director's cut.

Wow, what a question. What a choice. I would love to see some more footage. It don't even need to be Brady. Not all of it. A little bit could be. That'd certainly help. But any kind of new film going on in this film at this point would be oh so scrumptious.

You would be willing to sacrifice on a weekly basis, I hasten away, 30 minutes of your, 30 more minutes of your time. You're looking at a three hour, you're looking at a Titanic sort of sex in the city. Stevenson, I've come on two weapons hot. I've come fully cocked when I should have been half cocked at most, for I thought this was a one-off situation. No, no, this is the new, my interpretation is you now have to deal

with this new 30 minutes. I mean, you only got to do it 14 times, but it could be a better the devil you know type situation. Well, listen, I'm going to stick around. I like change, especially when I've seen a movie close to 40 times. I want to see something new for the final 12. I want to get a bit of variety injected into my film experience. The change becomes normal because you do it once, that's change.

You do it twice, well, now the change isn't changing no more. It's just regular. Very similar to a saying we got in the South. Fool me once, I'll watch your silly movie. Fool me twice, I'll watch it two times fool me again shame on me now it's a podcast yeah and for that i blame you humble listener now what was the second part of the question again because i stevenson i'm a simple man i cannot collect many effects in my head to hold them there for a long time at once well the next part of the

question i feel is easy to answer insofar as uh essentially you lose half an hour of the film instead of gaining half an hour and uh you lose miranda largely but you also lose coffee guy this is a far harder question to answer for a city boy like me. He is a tentpole in the film from which we can address other points. Now listen, there's purely numbers on a page. You would have to reckon that you would lose to Half Hour because Coffee Guy's on screen for nigh on eight seconds, Stevenson. Not a long time.

If that. Not a long time. And for that, you could jettison, why, 20% of this film every week. That sounds pretty good. Except Coffee Guy ain't just eight seconds, Stevenson. It's what Coffee Guy represents. It's what Coffee Guy means to us here in the South. He is a good, honest boy.

He is. I love Coffee Guy. I look forward to him every week. One of our only hopes in the battle for global supremacy currently being battled out by Brady, the treacherous rat king, and his band of merry amphibious rats, and Dick Bot,

the Japanese-designed, solar-powered, restless soul wandering the Arabian desert. Stevenson, I am ready to render my judgment unto thee. And hither I say, I'mma keep the half hour, and I'mma keep coffee guy. What do you say to that, boy? I say, on the one hand, that is absolute insanity I mean, you are talking about, you know, within two weeks, one hour of your life So you protract that over, what, 14, that's seven hours

You're spending in the company of these gasbagging gals On their highfalutin, high-steppin' trip into the heart of the Middle East Where, frankly, they're stepping on everyone's toes they're spitting in everyone's milk i mean they're really making themselves known they're shaking their tail feather to borrow uh the local parlance from a good personal friend of mine nelly but on the other hand i believe i agree with you in so much as coffee guy does represent hope and the american dream so i'm with you i'm gonna keep the half hour because I just am not willing to risk losing such a vital component in my weekly motivation.

The thing that we learned in the Battle of the South, as we like to refer to it back here, damn Yankee boys call it the Civil War. We call it the Battle of the South, is that you got to look for your little victories. You got to look for your wee moments shining through. You got to look for them little rays of sunlight that are piercing those black clouds that seem to come and invade every single week. Those little beacons of hope, if you will.

I mean, you know, with regards to the movie this week, Warren, Mattress Pikelet King, the creator of the movie as I understand it. The director and writer of this film. Am I saying that correctly? Mattress Pikelet King. I believe you are. He is a regal man. He has a background as an entrepreneur.

Obviously fusing two pretty disparate ideas and bringing them together under one business umbrella. He is a member of the monarchy, an entrepreneur, and an oracle who gets his fortunes from cooking a pikelet on a skillet. Now, me personally, I don't like the monarchy. I don't care for what they represent. But Mattress Pikelet King, I got a little shred of respect for him. I think he's a man who carries himself with dignity. Do you have one of them little rays of sunlight this week for me, fella? You want me to shine a torch in your eyes, Warren?

Stevenson, nothing would make me happier than to hear something that made you happy this week. Well, I was very pleased to see the appearance of my local pastor, Chris Noweth, in the film in his previous career as an actor. And in his performance this week,

I thought he was doing some truly exceptional facial work. I mean, while his body and his esophagus, his vocal cords might have been in autopilot, his face was in overdrive. And I do think he is, I mean, if he could just sort of resolve, you know, the difference in energy between those two, he'd probably be quite a fantastic actor. But as it stands, it seems you can only either get one or the other going. We got a saying in the South.

We got two sayings. And Chris North is really representing both. And he's to find a way to get in between them. The first saying is, that dog ain't going to hunt. That's right. The second saying is, that dog gone feral. And when a dog gone feral, you got to shoot the dog. Now, what I'm sensing about Pastor Chris Knoweth is that in some respects, that dog ain't going to hunt with respect to his acting chops this week.

But in other respects, that dog gone Pharaoh. That's right. And this feral dog that is his face, at one point he is relaxing on the couch, as is his want, reading the newspaper. And his beautiful wife, Carrie, walks in and she says, you get your boots off the couch or there will be hell to pay. And he sort of, he says, oh, he don't really say much. He sort of just takes it on the chin. But he don't move his feet in no hurry either. So he sort of, I mean, the thing of it is his face. As we've already said, his face is working so hard.

He's got no control over the rest of his body. It wouldn't surprise me if old friend Chris Noe shed his pants in that moment. I mean, such is the conviction of the acting by Kara Bradshaw. Anyway, there's a knock on the door, and Kara says, oh, there's probably other bags or something. And he says, oh, for a second I thought it was the shoe police. And when he says that, I mean his eyebrows go up to begin with when he says, oh, for a second his eyebrows are leaping off his

face like they're almost separate bands. A couple of caterpillars, furry little caterpillars reaching for the stars. And then the rest of his face, he sort of just leans in real close. And he says, shoot, police. And I mean, it is a triumph of facial acting. That tickled you this week, Stevenson? That tickled me pink, right to my very core. Well, that is a sensational moment.

I'm so glad to hear it from you. I'm very happy to share it with you. Now listen, may I tell you about something I saw in the movie this week which had me positively tickled? Well, only if it was a beacon of light shining down from heaven on high. Sure, as Jesus our Lord will return one day for the rest of us during the rapture, I can share with you this piercing moment of absolute joy and positivity. I'm very interested to unpack what is about to be revealed.

Stevenson, you remember one point in this grand adventure which spans many continents and millennia, our girls who we be following for the whole film are relaxing in a gorgeous five star resort hotel in Abu Dhabi in the Orient. They be kicking their shoes up and they be showing a lot of flash. Mmm. And they be getting some eyeballs on them as a result of that. Unsurprisingly, they are flouting convention in the most gregarious manner. Now, at one point in proceedings, Miranda's gasping about something.

No. Charla goes to say something else to her, and my eye could not help but be drawn to a gentleman who is in the back of this shot. Slightly fuzzy, just a little bit out of focus. And do you know what he is doing? I have not one clue to what this man might have been doing. This growing gentleman is disciplining his boy. He is giving him a right old kick up the keister, telling him what for in a foreign land. And I tell you what, being this far from Louisiana, it suddenly transported this old country boy home and it warmed the cockles, the absolute cockles in my cowboy

boots. To see a man step up into his responsibility as a parent and tell his boy how to be a man. Well, my God, Warren, that is some spur-jangling patriotism. Why, if it didn't go against my core religious and humanitarian beliefs, I'd clamber over this here table and I'd pin you down, boy, and I'd just start kissing you all over. For it is my firm belief that even between two men, a kiss is always a gift. Now listen, Stevenson, I want to tell you something. I want to tell you something straight because what you just said to me don't make me feel too right. Don't make me feel too right in my rumbly guts. In your rumbly tumbly tummy. I know that neither of us are learned men.

We are not men who like the books and the written word in particular. All the moving pictures and the fancy noises of a stereo. But let me tell you about one special book. A special book owned by a special man who lives up in a glass tower where he looks over numbers, many changing numbers, Stevenson, all the time, very dynamic, having to shift money this way and that multiple times a day, hedging bets. It's not for us simple country folk.

He's a city dweller. He knows what's happening. And he has lots of ideas rumbling around in that brain of his. And he writes them down, he does. Big's his name. And he's got a big book, a big old book of ideas, Stevenson. That's right. And he's obviously got his background in hedge funds.

He's obviously got his background in hedge funds. And funnily enough, sometimes stumped into a brand spanking new entrepreneurial development. It's as simple as flip-flopping and slip-slobbing your words two different ways around. And what he started doing, of course, is funding hedges. He has gathered many dollars from many respected monetary gentlemen of the world, and he's made a hedge fund for funding hedges. He has hired the services of a young, bespectacled, gothic-looking boy armed with nothing but scissors for one set of hands and one of those motorized serrated edge bread cutting knives for a left arm. Eddie was his name and he was as pale

as a ghost misunderstood by society as being an evildoer but he just didn't like people too much. And all he needed was an opportunity, someone to believe in him, to maybe help him realize the goal. And by your dad walking me big deal, he gonna go out and about the boy who got a little pale face and break up one of them and he got scissors for it. He'll pay a face and break up one of them and he got scissors for it. He'd cut up a head for it and he'd sell it on the open market for a million dollars. Pretty soon this boy Eddie, pale as a ghost he was, he was traveling all around the world being commissioned by many other rich men.

For he had evidence now, he had photos of his work that he could show to masses. I can do this to your hedge, Governor. I can make your garden the most beautiful, the most picturesque in the land. I can make your little baby elephant out of a bonsai tree, if that's what you please. It's only going to be a little tiny elephant, not the size of a regular baby elephant, because it's very rare to see bones i treat get that bit but too much work but of course this little boy can't take no photos i mean he got the bread cutter for one arm and the scissors for the hand what he needs is a photographic representative enter mr big manager photographer creator Sounds like a pretty poppin' high business idea to this humble listener.

Viewer, whatever my responsibility is in the context of this idea. Whatever your sensory perception is of this boy, you could be nothing but impressed. He will knock you right on your fanny. Mmm, he'll skin graft some of your butt and put it on your chin and then you get a butt chin like Jay Leno, which is understanding all the fashion mags and the glad rags

and your vogue's and your Al's and your Cleopatra's. I believe that's the name of that ladies magazine. Cleopatra. Oh yes. Part memoir, part sex tips. All toxic. Been around for nigh on 3,000 years.

Comes to us from denial, it does. Now it's telling our woman how to dress and our mothers how to cook. Frankly, I'm not for it, Stevenson. I do not like this Cleopatra magazine. I do not like what it represents. Them damn Yankees pulling coaches from all around the world trying to make it the new American way. That's not the American my papi grew up in.

That is for sure. Why, the notion that anyone would grow up in the America their parent grew up in is absurd because, of course, humanity and the human conscience and sort of our understanding of everything is constantly changing and developing, and I personally think that's for the best. So to anybody out there listening, any of our fans who are just bathing in the Mississippi River and healing your woes with leeches just like your pappy did,

I'm going to tell you, stop trying to live like your parents. It makes no gosh darn sense. Well, now that you mention it, I mean, my pappy did get into a whole heap of trouble. Well, of course he did. A lot of bandits back in the day, you see. He had to be armed at all times. He had a six-shooter on his left and he had a big old magnum on his right. This is what I'm saying.

And we know how my peppy matters, and I hope no one has to go through the kind of embarrassment that beguiled my peppy. I don't want to step out of place, Warren, but it might be okay if we reopen those old wounds and revisit the tragedy which befell your bandito father. Well, Stevenson, it ain't a grand story. It ain't even a particularly long story, and it's certainly not an impressive story. But my peppy, he was known only to himself as an accurate marksman. To everybody else, he was a stone-cold fool.

He didn't know how to shoot. In fact, one day, he was being hit up by a bunch of other banditos who were trying to steal his gold. Didn't have real gold, of course. He had pyrite in his pockets. Fool's gold, it's known as. And he only carried it around to trick the dumbest criminals. Try and buy himself out of trouble. Most people could tell the difference very easily.

Well, it was just pumice stone, famously. Your father... He painted it. He was a moron. He didn't even weigh roughly the same. I mean, the feel is completely... The whole idea is absolute insanity to me, but I did respect you. Well, I didn't necessarily

respect your father, but I did learn to fear him from a young age. So there was my mad as a cut snake pappy being rolled up by half a dozen banditos trying to steal his painted pumice. And he weren't having it today. He had had a hell of a morning. The pig that he had had passed away. He had had that pig for many, many years. Raised it since a little piglet.

Named it after the governor, in fact. And he was very disturbed when it died all of a sudden. So he was not off to a rousing morning and to be rolled up by these banditos. He said, no, not today, assholes. And he reached for his gun, only he forgot which one was which. And he grabbed his magn magnum which he was not rightly prepared to shoot he tried firing at that bandito the one that was trying to roll him and instead he missed him terribly the bullet sailed right above his head but with the massive whiplash of that gun it kicked back and it smashed him right in the skull cracked him right in his forehead and that's how my grandpappy died from a kickback on a magnum he weren't even supposed to

shoot onto a bandito who was trying to steal his painted pumice it's a tragic tale and quite an inglorious way to meet one's end in the South. It certainly is. I mean, I guess what still strikes me is you can kindly open this old wound for the first time in a long time. But Pumice isn't particularly valuable. I mean, you were a Pumice fortune family. You were raised on a Pumice farm. He could have just gone on and painted up more Pumice. I mean, I understand he was a man of principle and

he wanted to maintain his dignity and do the courageous thing but he got so much pumice back in the house it just make it anyway it ain't about the pump i don't know and i both that's right i don't want to get into it i much rather talk about an observation we shared while watching this fantastic feature-length film, Sex and the City 2. When the girls visit a hotel in the Middle East, Abu Dhabi, they walk in and you cannot help but notice in the background frame that half of a door frame is missing. Why, it certainly caught my eye this week, Stevenson. It is missing outright, and it only takes noticing that once to start noticing other, uh, maybe little problems or foibles one might take with the hotel.

Little peculiarities, as we say in the South. Namely, that if you watch it carefully enough, the hotel manager will acknowledge that the hotel is absolutely riddled to its guts with borah. It is more porous than the pumice my daddy died to protect. I mean, the whole plate. If you could just please be careful on the floorboards, because the floor is absolutely riddled with pumice. I mean, you will go crashing straight through into some unseemless sight that you do not want to see. You got to be very...

We understand that this is the Jewel Suite and it costs $22,000 a night. And this is a very well-regarded establishment. But you got to walk lightly, ladies. You got to be very careful about where you're distributing your weight. For if you are not on a beam, we cannot take responsibility for your crashing onto your finish. I mean, we got a bit of a saying here in the Jewel Suite. If you are not on a beam, you are presumably no longer in the Jewel Suite because you will go crashing straight through.

Now, you may notice that the beds, they are in certainly what is an unconventional place within the room. That's not a feng shui decision. That is, that's just weird. There's the most support for the beds. Do not move the beds unless you want to have a sleep three floors down because that's where you wind up. Why, if I had a nickel for every time them city slickers come in, they take one look at the jewel suite and they say, why are you cramming all these beds together

when there's so much space to use? We got to tell them it's about the feng shui of the situation. It's about the flow of the energy in the room. Truth is, feng shui ain't got nothing to do with it. That's the only place that could hold the weight of two beds and two grown ladies without crashing onto their fannies. I did enjoy this observation and sharing it with you, Warren, and I do like very much the thought that these fantastic $22,000 a night hotel has such a fundamentally huge

problem. It's pretty much a page one rewrite. I mean, you tear up the blueprint, you gotta start all over again, but they're hanging on for dear life like the villainous landlords that we all know and love in our day-to-day lives, renting the properties all across

Louisiana or Auckland or wherever you may be in your life. Well, I can wrangle a lot of things, Stevenson. I can wrangle sheep. I can wrangle goats. I can wrangle a bull, angry as they come, but to try and wrangle things, Stevenson. I can wrangle sheep. I can wrangle goats. I can wrangle a bull. Angry as they come. But to try and wrangle Bora, very difficult. Very difficult indeed.

It's got no consciousness. It doesn't respond to any instructions. You can set your best sheepdog on Bora. I mean, that dog is going to hunt, but it's going to be hunting for a long time because the Bora is not responsive. It's like getting a sheepdog to tell someone's going to be hunting for a long time because the boar is not responsive. It's like getting a sheepdog to tell someone's here to grow. It don't make no sense. We got an old saying back in the South, and that saying is,

Set her on fire. Set her on fire. Fire her up. And wash her bird. Scab-a-da-bop-bo. Wad-a-ba-bee. Wad-a-ba-bo. Wad-a-ba-bop-bo. Ful-a-ba-bop-ba-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop. What's it doing?

What's it doing? What's going boy out there? That is the question. We ask it every time we watch the film. We watch the film often. That's right. And this is, of course, the quest or the journey of a man who we, earlier in this particular episode of the podcast,

went out of our way to defend and include in the movie even a grievous bodily harm to ourselves. He's known simply as Coffee Guy, and he's a wanderer. Yeah, he's a wanderer. And he's a wanderer. Wanderer, wanderer, wanderer. Well, I am very curious as to the plans of this here man this week. I mean, I have no particular leads myself, Warren.

I don't know you noticed anything about the way he was behaving. Of course I do. Of course I do. You know me. I keep my peepers open and my ears to the floor. He was tap, tap, tapping away that foot on the floor like some sort of percussionist. Like maybe he was up the gills with drum practice or something earlier in the week. I don't know if all that coffee's for drumming or not.

I'm just saying I noticed that. Well, you're dead right. You are an observant man, Stevenson. Because a little-known fact about our friend the Coffee Guys is that he leads the meanest jazz three-piece in all of New York City. Woo! It's called the Coffee Guy Trio, and it'll set any club on fire. It will set the club on fire metaphorically when they play the music,

and then it's sort of their signature flourish at the end that will douse their place in gasoline and burn it straight to the ground. A bit of a fire hazard when you don't have enough exits like them City Slicker Band, I forget the name of at such time as we are talking at the moment. Great tragedy, great tragedy. But the important thing about the Coffee Guy Trio is they're always looking for them fire exit friendly clubs, places that are open air,

places that could go up in a blaze of smoke and glory and nobody would get hurt. I mean, it weren't always that way. I mean, what they found is very hard to book business in it if you are destroying the very club in which you were. Oh, no doubt. I mean, the first hurdle they got to get over is a sophisticated jazz club that's got a lot of fire exits.

They are not dime a dozen, Stevenson. I tell you that right now. Assure us my name is Warren. And so the man we are looking at on the screen this week is more or less jonesing up on caffeine and trying to figure out exactly how they can reboot this business model to make it, I don't know, a little more profitable, perhaps. A little more economical, perhaps. Maybe they can help support their families a little more

rather than siphoning half their mortgage payments into a band which is pretty much struggling more than any other band in New York, which is saying something because you got a lot of bands in that city. But this is the thing. Just like all them trailblazers that came before them, they are absolutely on the cutting edge of performing art. Why, when a little chap named Andy Warhol started painted soup cans, people said, Andy, you're crazy.

What you doing with your time? We know what the soup can looked like. I mean, we say people say it was us. I got one right here. I love the stuff. We were there. We say we know what the soup can looks like. We see it.

You don't need to go painting it. I mean, there are a dime a dozen down at Trader Joe's. Quite literally, I bought a dozen for a dime on a special promotional offer. Why you go paint it? And do you know what happened to that little boy named Andrew Warhol? He went on to become a big, big success. No way. Andy?

Andy. I did not know that. A multi-millionaire hanging out with all the queer folk from all the hot places like Los Angeles and New York. I refuse to believe that our little Andy did become such a success. Wow, painting something as simple as a soup can? See, the secret was you got to paint painted over and over again in different colors. That was my idea. Him and me, we was high as a cot talking shop about maybe how we could make a quick buck.

I said, well, just sort of throwing it out. There was some kind of joke here throwaway coming. I say, oh, we could paint cans. We could paint a beer can or a soup can. And he didn't even bat an eyelid. He didn't say nothing. I did not for one second think, oh, this really gets my goat. Is he still alive?

Why, I'm afraid to say little Andy's gone now. He passed away. That son of a... Whoa. I mean, you got my blood pressure bubbling up mighty high right now. Now listen, Stevenson, I remind you of what your mama said to you. You do not speak ill of the dead, son. It is not the way of the South.

I really need a root beer. Well, I'd like to take this opportunity to tip my hat again to them glorious sons of bitches of Big Pop Internet who are providing us with all of that good intel, all of that good communication. If you think to yourself, how did this conversation wind up on the Internet? Then you're probably thinking Big Pop because that's exactly how it happened. Go to Big Pop. Doc Hold up and say, you tell them. You tell them old Warren and Stevenson sent ya.

And you do that by flicking in a worst idea code. When you sign up they'll give you a month for free. They won't tie you down with some convoluted tiny little text lawyer contract like them city slickers do. They won't be fleecing ya. No sir.

I hate them city slickers. Also I would like to say that we got a lot of exciting things coming up. Oh, we got so many exciting things. On the webpage. First of all, and this one is, I mean, it's pretty of left field. Someone submitted what I would describe as an essay, a short essay on their speculation as to what Coffee Guy might do. Scott Hartzell. We're going to put that up on the page

If you want to wade It's terribly long and very involved If you want to wade through the recesses of his mind By all means, the opportunity to be there More than that, we've got some stuff coming up on our podcast You hear about But more exciting than that is we look forward to the American Thanksgiving As we do every year

We are being involved with some of our friends from our sister state, West Virginia. Tremendous boys they are, too. They host a very funny, very popular podcast called My Brother, My Brother and Me. And what we're going to do is we're going to start a new podcast with them, something called an annual podcast.

Now, I don't know if there are many of those floating about in outer space or what, but I'm pretty excited about the prospects of this. Now, what we're going to do, we're going to sit down with these boys on Thanksgiving, just like the Pilgrims did with them engines, and we're going to sit down and we're going to watch a film together.

We're going to watch Paul Blod, Mall Cop 2, every year. As our ancestors did. Or at least that's what our eventual spore and our great-great-grandchildren will be saying. Because the wrinkle on this little number is we're going to watch this movie once a year for the rest of our lives. Till someone ups and dies. And then when someone dies, we replace them. We put someone in that chair.

So this podcast, hypothetically speaking, will outlive all of us. And ain't that something to toot your horn to, ladies and gents? Well, it's certainly something I wouldn't mind learning to play the trumpet about. And if I could play a trumpet, I'd jump on a rooftop and play a tune called Till Death Do Us Blur, because that is the name of this upcoming podcast. If you flick into your little iPhones or your little Androids or your little laptop computers, you go to Twitter. You go to Twitter.com, and you plug in there the letters that are Death Blart.

D-E-A-T-H-B-L-A-R-T. If I rightly remember, you want to go there, you want to sign up for some updates. You'll be the first to know when we come out with something. So to you boys in West Virginia, rolling West Virginia. To my man Travis. To my boy Justin. And to my little Griffin. And to my baby brother Griffin, I see.

I tip my hat to thee. I would also like to take the opportunity to say, before we sign off, all hail Brady, the Rat King, and his band of merry amphibious rats. Brady, if you are listening and you didn't interpret anything we said as particularly offensive, just know it's a couple of guys goofing around.

We don't mean nothing by it. Also, all hail Mattress Pocket King. I don't like the monarchy, as I say, but he's an interesting guy. Now, just to wrap up there, should we, I'ma just throw this out as a little idea, Stevenson, but should we maybe sing the Brady song to end up on?

Well, I think it would honor our Rat King if we were to do just that. All hail. Hold on. I'm going to grab my mouth organ. I'll be right back. You warm them up for you. Okay.

This ain't the song. Well, it is kind of the tune, but I'm just warming up while my mate gets his mouth organ. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, For he rules the rats. It's the worst idea of all time. It's the worst idea of all time It's the worst idea of all time It's the worst idea of all time Season 2