The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Thirty One - Club Remix

Episode Date: February 1, 2017

SPONSORED BY AUDIBLE.COMThe boys have decided to take the movie into its natural environment: Da Club. Recorded in downtown Auckland city at a underfilled club on a Friday night, Timbo is sharing personal tales of drug busts at music festivals and Guyguy is coming in hot with da club commentary and questioning Shakespeare's utility.Trailer: Boners of The Heart Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a Little Empire podcast. Visit us at littleempirepodcast.com and on Instagram at littleempirepodcasts. Are you going to play that dastardly intro again? Try, try, try, try, try, try, try. Ow! This movie's still fine. There's a colleague who passed out. One of them dies, that guy's screw.

One of them's a hothead, his name is Jay. One of them looks like Johnny Depp, and his name is Johnny Depp. Classic Maximum Joseph. I agree. Ah! You forget that films are supposed to have a point. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the worst day of all time. Coming to you live from downtown Auckland, it's your boy Tim Mo.

And your boy Guy Montgomery. This is episode 31, a.k.a. Watch number 30. That's right. It's our 30th screening of The Fantastic. And I use that word with no real regard for its original definition. Maximum Joseph film, we are your friends. We were so terrified of what the future held for us last week that we took solace and security in the company of an old friend and foe, Sex and the City 2.

This week sees us wrestling with certainly something that we've spent a lot more time with this year, but in an exciting and foreign new environment. The nightclub Impala on Auckland's famous Shortland Street. And I've got to tell you, in spite of the pumping soundtrack that provides a baseline for this week's episode of the podcast, the club is not

jumping jumping. Destiny's Child would not spend any time here trying to have sex with men. You're not wrong. I mean, compared to how it was earlier, we're actually looking a lot better right now. But compared to a normal club, we're looking terribly for midnight on a Friday

in downtown Auckland. Like, okay, let me paint a picture for you guys. Guy Montgomery and myself have been watching a movie on a fucking laptop in the corner of a club on a Friday night by ourselves, and it hasn't affected anything. Not remotely. We've had barely a look.

That's an indictment on the club. Absolutely. Do you remember that time we watched Grown Ups 2 in a Kmart? It kind of reminds me of that. It's like you would think we'd be disrupting people, but as it turns out, no one gives a shit because no one was here. Is that an indictment on the nightclub or on our own perception of ourselves?

You're getting too deep too early. Six of one, three plus three of the other. There are some people here now, though, I think they're starting to kick off a little bit in the club, but we're not here to talk about the club. We're here to talk about We Are Your Friends, a Take It From movie that was released in 2015 and received a middling welcome from critics and audiences alike.

What was your watch like this week, Guy? I've got to say, Tim, just the absolute change of environment, the fact that we are in, you know, an enclave so far into myself, I can't speak to your familiarity

or, you know, the regularity with which you visit Auckland's downtown, central city establishments, this is not home turf for me. It's novel. It's new. I haven't been down here since I was a wee nipper, a wee early 20-year-old. Exactly.

It's been a cool decade since I used to hit this part of town in a serious way. That's right. And accordingly... Good memories, though, guys. Real good memories bro Coming down here hitting on university students who

have just come to Auckland from their respective hometowns Oh, I'm there only Communications or what not And that's exactly what impacted my screening this week. It's just a flurry of memories, a wave of nostalgia both good and bad

and it kind of overrode the actual experience of watching the movie as you can well hear at home, the music is so loud that

we were really up against it in terms of absorbing the dialogue. Yeah, yeah. We actually struggled to get the technology to work so we'd be able to hear it. We did crack it though eventually. We got it in our cans. We did hear it.

But like, I mean, God, listen. We're in a nightclub. This was happening. It's one of those classic moments where everything goes quiet and you feel like you're yelling. It's like the record skipping. Anyway.

So yeah, to answer your question, Jim. New environment. We are so bored of this movie that we watched Sex and the City 2 again last week. As you brought up before, Guy, there's a fucking indictment, man, on how wretched this film is. But then I was watching it tonight in a new environment few drinks in me the right chemicals were coming together and I was like, you know what? Maybe it's a good movie.

No you weren't. Maybe this is a good movie. You do not believe in what you're saying. That we have chosen to watch for a year every week is a good movie and we weren't quite the audience for it but we were close. You know? We're looking for fuckboys. We're looking for guys in their early 20s. It's a good movie and we weren't quite the audience for it, but we were close, you know. We're looking for fuckboys.

We're looking for guys in their early 20s. We're looking for me eight years ago. Would I have enjoyed this movie then? Probably not, but I probably would have had a friend who would have. Yeah, yes and no, man. We arrived here and the bar staff, everyone, generally speaking, was very surprised to see us. And there was a DJ whose task was to, and we see this in the film, he's the caretaker, he's the groundskeeper. Yeah.

There was no one in the nightclub, save for Timbett and Guy Montgomery. Oh, like literally no one. No one who wasn't staffed. We were the sole punters. For the first hour of the film. Yeah. I cannot imagine, and I've tried,

I like dabbled in a DJing career. You were good, man. I've been to a few gigs that you've DJed at. But this guy is playing to an audience of two. Yeah. Both of whom are very actively wearing headphones and watching a screen. Yeah. How do you pick yourself up from that?

It's hard, but it didn't deter him. And what I love most of all in this particular club is that there has been a smoke machine going hell for leather the entire time we've been here. It doesn't matter if anyone is enjoying it or not. If a club falls in the woods and no one's there to appreciate the smoke machine, will it still go off? Apparently the answer is yes, because that thing has been going every 20 seconds on the 20 seconds since we got here.

Just pushing a lot of carbon dioxide into the air. has been going every 20 seconds on the 20 seconds since we got here. Just pushing that lot of carbon dioxide into the air. The way that you look at a smoke machine is like a huge pressure release valve on any major function that people get anxiety about hosting. A wedding, a 40th wedding anniversary, a 21st, a 50th. You really tell me if you've got a smoke machine, it's smooth sailing, it doesn't matter if anyone's there. The thing of the matter is the party's going off. I mean, that wasn't what I was saying before,

but I feel like it is now. You've painted a real picture for me. Well, no, you painted this picture for us. We had a DJ. All I'm saying is it was... All I'm saying is the smoke machine was happening. You're saying it's happening. You know what I mean? I see.

You get the subtle difference between those two things, right? You know what? Even now, in speaking to you, I understand how the opportunity for miscommunication occurs time and again in a nightclub. The music here is obnoxiously loud. And I am aware that as I say that, we are not the tiger demographic right now. We are two men trying to find a secure area to converse about the movie.

We are your friends. secure area to converse about the movie, where are your friends? Everyone else here, by all accounts, is looking to fuck or at least bump and grind. They're trying to find someone to have sex with. That's what clubs are about. I love being reminded of that as well. You go into town and it's just like,

oh yeah, this is us for thousands of years. Back in the day in caves, it would have been dudes banging on an animal skin that was stretched over a tree trunk in rhythmic fashion while you find someone who wants to have sex with you and you have sex with them. This is the same shit, man. Ostensibly, you're right. I don't like the thing that...

Because what we've done is refined it, right? This is like... Well, not much though to be honest what do we do i add a smoke machine and that's it quality is the word refined wrong is it modernized we might yeah i think you're right we modernize it we didn't refine it by much there's just couches now in a smoke machine there's literally the sole edition would you sole addition. Would you sooner pursue romance

500 years ago or in this current climate? He's saying, what would I rather? What do you think would suit your strengths? 500 years ago, so we're talking dark ages at that point. We're talking King Arthur and the Knights of the Round. We're talking

what is it called? Imperial, what is it called? like imperial, what is it called? When like the castles are about and whatnot. Yeah, castles. All I'm asking is, Tim, is do you think that you're more likely to thrive in the primal quest to find a mate in this environment or in any environment prior to this? The answer is so blindingly obvious.

Were I not born in the current environment, there's no way, no way I could find a partner. As society has progressed, I feel like we have valued physicality less and wordsmithry more. And thank God I was born in 20, I mean 1987 rather than 1687, you know? Do you know how I would have done in a, what's it called? Like a duel, but when you're running at each other with jousting. Do you know how I would have done in jousting? Holy, my friend. You are not built for jousting. I'm not other with jousting do you know how I would have done in jousting holy my friend you are not built

for jousting I'm not built for jousting you know I'm all about them angles I'll give you that like I know

a good fulcrum when I see one but I just I'm not built for jousting wouldn't you have happily plied

your trade as a jester maybe I would have been a bard have you seen the movie Wimbledon with the late great heath ledger i've not that's the tennis one oh yeah the movie of wimbledon is about

tennis funnily enough i got confused i meant to say the movie a knight's tale with the late great heath ledger yeah because we're doing the. Paul Bedney who's in both. Yeah. So I imagine. I've not seen either if that counts for anything. Oh well in the movie of Night's Tale the character played by Paul Bedney is sort of like he's a hype man in essence. Is that where you see yourself you know. Where, burning a livelihood. Yeah. No, I think I could make it on my own, but I would be, you know, maybe I was too quick

to judge, actually, because I say that people didn't value wordsmithery. Shakespeare came out of the, what, 1700s, the 18th century, I assume. I actually know when he was alive, but I think that's about right. It's not important you do, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

He wrote a lot of plays. I get it. How many of them were in English? Not enough for this guy to count. Well, all of them. I will not listen to your propaganda. Okay. What I'm trying to tell you, Tim,

is for me, as someone who has lived in this setting before and tried to, you know, like, secure the company of other people in this setting before. Members of the Ferris X? I do not thrive in this environment. Right. The club is not where you go to work.

I just think even now we're watching people... Where do you thrive, Guy? I'm interested to know. What's your ideal environment? I thrive at a house party where I know 40% of the people. Nice.

I feel like I thrive at a house party where I know 1% of the people. Like if there is 200 people at the house party, if I know two of them, I'm like, great. Time for old Timbo to make some new friends. Really? And I'll tell you what, I'll come out of that party with 40 new friends. That's great. And it's great to beg yourself.

All I'm saying is that I look out upon the dance floor right now, which admittedly is a barren wasteland of humans, but when I have seen people dancing there over the last 45 minutes or two hours, I felt very uncomfortable, worried and insecure on behalf of all of them. You put yourself in the men's shoes. No one's moving with conviction. Everyone's trying to maintain the appearance of having a good time while really being up against it. It's interesting, isn't it?

You're in a club and you're like, the only way this can work is for people to poison themselves to the point of being mentally deficient. And we all pretend like it's a cool thing. This is madness. And this is this is the like this is exactly the environment under which

Where Are Your Friends purportedly exists. This is the romanticisation if I may make a noun what once was a verb. They're trying to romanticise this environment and put it on film it's hard to do

it's bleak man there's a lot of sound mixing involved I mean we've got a redhead who's like 2 metres away from us grinding on a guy who's got frosted tips in the year 2017 not just frosted tips but a severely

receding hairline. I've been watching that guy for 25-30 minutes. He is not a day under 35. Yeah and the woman is like you know I feel like she could be finding someone the right age is all I'm saying. Well just in a friendly environment as a side note in the record show I do love this song and I say in spite of our criticisms very lovely glassy or potentially barman just came up it took away our energy we're all right says that we go okay so listen business end of things.

My shining light this week, Guy Montgomery, on our 30th watch, on our 31st episode of this season, is, and I apologise if I've mentioned it in the past, but it's got to be Squirrel, when he is at the security gates for the music festival they're going to in Las Vegas. He gets scanned.

Something's been picked up by the metal detector. The security guard looks at him funny. He says, it's my cell phone and holds it out. And it's that look of fear that's in Squirrel's eyes. I think he sells the shit out of that moment. Without mentioning particulars, have you found yourself in a situation wherein you've been confronted by security? I'll tell you the particulars.

So I went to a music festival. This is when I... I lived in Sydney briefly. I moved to Sydney for about six months. And I hope that this won't I'm going to try and tell this story without too many particulars so that my friend gets identified but

it's a great story which I may have told you in the past but the podcast listeners might not have heard this So a good mate of mine he had a crush on a girl years ago. She moved to Sydney with her boyfriend. He found out later that the girl and the boy, the girl who he was very sweet on and the

boy who she was with, they broke up. The relationship ended after a few years. So, he had been in correspondence online with this woman who he was quite smitten with and he decided you know what, I'm going to pursue this. Can I ask

or you can not answer the question are these people together? No, they're not anymore but way to ruin the ending bro no when you said anymore you ruined the ending you could have

kept it open you could have just let me tell the story guy right now is different from did they get together well then maybe I haven't ruined it alright so he goes we were living together at the time he goes Tim I'm going to Sydney so you gotta get the girl do you want to come and I was like yeah all right I just broken up with

someone of mine so I was like yeah I could do with the change of pace you're just working up with someone of your own. Yeah So we wait a phrase it so we moved to Sydney We moved to Sydney to go and get him to pursue this girl the time. It was just too good. So we went over there And he bloody got him It was a beautiful thing we So we lived together for a bit. I can't remember what the origin of this story was. So what you're building to is a moment similar to Squirrel's moment,

wherein you're up against authority, and you're knowing you're in the wrong, but trying to carry yourself as though you're not breaking any rules. So it's the moment in Squirrel's eyes when he says, it's his phone. Oh, yeah. Okay, sorry. Oh, my God. You're totally right.

So this is when I was in Sydney, and I went to a music festival called V-Fest, sponsored by the Energy Drink V, who do not sponsor this podcast. I won't bleep them out, but everyone listening, know that I should have. So I went to the music festival, it was great, but when we first got in there, I was packing quite a bit of marijuana on me, and a smint tin, a little mint, and pre-rolled joints, and

as soon as I put my foot over the line to walk in, a bloody drug dog came up to me and the two people I was with, who was my very good mate and the girl he was now with, fucking freaked out. They were like, oh my god, oh my god, you're going to jail. I was like, guys, it's a music festival, this is going to be, we're going to be cool. And I know that this sounds like I'm painting myself in a heroic light, but. Well you are. I am, but this is also

how it happened. So it's like, look, if I know one thing about Tim Mann, it's that he can talk himself into and out of any situation. So it's like, don't worry, this is going to be fine. So the police took me away, and they took the illegal substances off me,

questioned me, and were so, like, good about it. They were, like, complimenting me on the ingenious of using a sminting because it was the perfect size to put some joints in. Like, oh, it's pretty nifty. I was like, oh, can I have the joints back? Like, that's how, you know, kind of casual we were.

Or how I read the situation. They're like, uh, no. But they did let me back into the music festival, which was very good of them. Without charge. They put me on a warning, so apparently I got entered into some system. But no harm, no foul.

So all to say is, I've kind of been through not the same situation, but not 100% dissimilar. Where the authorities have gone, hey, but what's going on here? And you figure it out. I gotta say, I admire your cool, man. I genuinely, it's one of those things like look I don't have crystal men on me like you know they're not fucking around

with me they've got bigger fish to fry than old yeah yeah but even so this so now but in my youth I was so fearful. To this day. Really? If I see a police car on the road while I'm driving a car, I will rifle through every bad memory I have of anything I've done. I'll be like, oh, they finally caught up to me. I took that craft knife from workshop in year eight. This is it. My chickens are coming home to roost.

Guy, you're one of the best talkers I know. Do you not back yourself to be able to, like, talk yourself out of a sticky situation? I know I took the craft knife, dude. I was 12 years old. You could be like... What? I didn't need that craft knife. There's a statute of limitations on this shit. No one got hurt.

Like, I understand what you're saying, but as a general rule, things are about to get filthy on this dance floor. Yeah, shit's really kicked up. We've got a lot more people we're dealing with now, everybody. Just to give you a live update on this round. A lot of people's dance move is mainly moving their right wrist

as though they're either driving a car or trying to point at someone in a... I feel like there's no room for us to comment on how people are dancing. We'd be looking like them, you know, if we were out on there. In a land of dreams. We're doing this thing. What I was going to say, though, is, yeah, like, as I've matured, I've grown into, you know, the knowledge that the police... Like, it's very self-absorbed know the knowledge that the police, like it's very self absorbed to be worried that the police are trying to get you

for anything really and like you walking into a music festival with a smith container full of joints, that's very small fry for them but in saying that at your age, that whatever you were 22 was it

probably 21 20 20 yeah man I did not possess the self-assuredness or confidence to be okay I would have been like I'm so sorry this is my mum's number this is my dad's number call them is my dad's number. Call them up. You tell them what I'd like. Just absolute meltdown. That's so funny. We react to things. We would react to that situation very differently. I'd be like the complete inverse of that.

Yeah, and that's why it's great. I've got this never contact anyone who is related to me about this. Very smart. My shining light, Jim. Different from yours and actually one of the few moments this week where I was really invested in the movie as the movie that it

set out to be and the movie that it wants to be week in week out rather than engaged with the fact that you and I were doing this in the corner of a semi-active nightclub. Um... After Zicole plays James Reid's Looking Pool Party, uh, his friends show up, they kick up a stink,

collectively they leave, they're in— they're down on themselves and this is a dope song yeah Zicole they had creative differences that sucks

nah it's fine man Andre 3000 got a bit big for his boots no big boy got a bit big for his boots, huh? No. Big Boy got a big boot for his boots. Neither of them got too big for their boots. They had a huge career spanning 20 years. Like, how much can you do something with another person? They outgrew one another, and it's fine.

But... Sorry, you were saying? Shining light. So, yeah. So, Coley at some point looks at the check and gets paid by James Reid. I don't know what the number is. You don't know what the number is. It's a lot.

I'm going to guess in the family of $5,000. And it's a huge sum of money. And he's like, fuck, this is too much. And he goes back to James Reid's house with a cheque and he says, I can't accept this. And James Reid says, put that back in your pocket. You think I broke up with you? And this week it just stuck out of me.

It was like, often when I watch the movie now, I look at James Reed as this desperate loser who's hanging on to Ziccoli as this like hope of retaining or rediscovering his youthful vigor and like the time we're in his lifestyle was enjoyable but in that moment of the film he's like I'm the fucking man of the situation take the money I paid you like I really liked it this week

it popped off the screen for you huh yeah and I don't know what to tell you Tim that's how I felt

about it good shining light bro love it um well at this point let's roll in to our ad for our sponsor of this episode of the podcast. Ow!

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This movie's still fine. I mean, we're still here. We're still at the club. We're still doing the party. There's nothing for it. We've been joined by Kanye West. He was a great addition. Yeah. I believe Jay-Z might be with us. Yeah, maybe.

No, who is that? Look, Tim, it's not important. Do you know what is important? I'll tell you what's important. Getting sentimental with James Reid. Oh boy. Every week we look at that big old MacBook Pro shape box

and we go, what's in there? What's going on? What's in the box? This is a box given by one DJ to another DJ. The first DJ is James Reid from The Fearless, noted New Zealand rock band. The second DJ is Zikoli, the crying DJ. A DJ as well known for his emotional temperament

as he is for his ability to mix together two different songs. By the way, here is the criticism I have of, I don't want to say the DJing specifically this evening, but in general DJing, people spend too many, too much time, too many times, too much time, like making it sound like one bad song is playing for several hours I would sooner hear several good songs individually of themselves play out sequentially than some fucking wizard

with a software I don't know man you sound old guy, you sound like you're against the mashups like an old man it's after midnight back in my day we played one song at a time on the old record machine. Anyway, I'll tell you what's in that MacBook Pro box this week,

and that is a solar-powered machine that separates the teary water that comes from Zoccoli's eyes into drinkable water. That's why it's self-serving. Dude, immediately. water that comes from Zicole's eyes into drinkable water. That's why it's self-serving. Dude, immediately. When global warming happens, everyone's gonna be sad, and the only way to turn those tears into drinkable water is with the device that our boy James Reid

from The Feelers has developed. Two things, one, that young redhead and the guy with the frosted tips and the receding hairline looking very familiar with each other in the corner of the nightclub right now. Yeah, fucking A. Secondly, this is so much bigger than Zicole's, like, hairs being turned into drinkable water. This is literally, this changes life rafts.

This changes everything. You mean to tell me inside of that MacBook Pro box is the solution to like I mean kind of all our resource problems. You want to know what the ocean is? God's tears. That's why it's so salty.

How do we turn that into drinking water? Using whatever the fuck that device is that fits into the MacBook Pro box that James Reid from The Feelers just gave to our favourite crying DJ. How did this thing wind up in James Reid's possession in the first place? He made it bold.

Yeah. What in fuck's name is that guy doing not patenting that and giving it away? He believes in open source technology. I'm so glad you asked. He believes in bringing it to the masses, you know. He's a real Elon Musk type. He believes that the market will develop by giving the patents out to the inventors, get everyone to make their own good version of it,

and that will grow the whole market. I think they're called like desalinated or something like that yeah I understand wanting to service the greater good like I understand you develop a technology sorry to say no to you I'll never say no to you again but I will just this once because they don to our left who's sitting by himself I'm pretty sure this guy hit me up at the bar before. It was like pretty hot and heavy. Ask me a lot of questions.

He's not looking good right now. Let's give a live commentary of this young man. Well ladies and gentlemen we've got a young man in his early 20s. I would say 21 maybe 22 if he's pushing it. He is not looking good. Alcohol poisoning if I had to bet. He's weighing in at a casual 5 foot 11 and if I had to guess

65 kg. I would say it's fair to say things have not played out exactly as he might have anticipated earlier in the evening. It would be fair to say when he approached you at the bar, Tim, he was looking for a good time. He was looking for someone to have sex with, someone to fuck. He even told you that when you were ringing in, he was telling you that that was a bitch's drink. That was not for a gentleman. I've got

to say Tim, to look at this man by himself right now slumped across that exact seat, things have taken a turn for the absolute worst. Here are the details I know about this young man so far based on my interaction with him at the bar. His name is Matt he was asking a lot of questions, he was inquiring as to what I was drinking and when I announced

that I was drinking a G&T he accused of being a faggot drink. He wanted to know if I was here with a girl and when I announced that I was drinking a G&T, he accused it of being a faggot drink. He wanted to know if I was here with a girl and when I announced that I was here with my mate named Guy, he was disappointed to hear that. I am sensing some latent homosexuality in our friend Matt, who is now seemingly suffering from poisoning from the alcohol. He's not looking good, he's not looking bright. And I will be very surprised if he makes it till the morning.

I've spent a few nights in his corner myself, not in terms of the passive-aggressive homophobic sentiment, you know, Professor The Bar, but certainly in terms of winding up by yourself, inebriated, in a nightclub, hoping for the best, expecting the worst, and that's exactly where we find our hero, Matt, right now. He is on his haunches, and I've he is on his horses I have not one pity for the guy he has fucked it for himself I have no respect for him I've got no bad feelings for him I wish him only the worst and it's great to bake at home masturbate into a newspaper and pass out by himself he's not a good way and he's by himself as well.

That's the thing that gets me. No one is coming to his aid. He's not a friend of the world at this point. Hey, I'll tell you what though. This club is not by no stretch of the imagination packed. But there's people here now. I'd say a good 40 people. Everyone's trying to partner off.

It's a good vibe. If you look at it in the context of the night, we were told when we arrived here by the manager that we'd beaten everyone. The bar we're in or the nightclub we're in is hosting an after party for a gig that happened earlier tonight. He assured us at about 12.30 things were going to start going off. It is currently 12.15. We've just had our first intensive saliva swapping make-out match.

How do you fancy your chance if I win to take a leg on just holding the port here for a minute? I'm fucking interested to see how it goes. Alright, best of luck to ya so at least for the intro everybody that's it for Timbatt and the position I find myself in is one wherein I'm mostly just observing the movement of a nightclub just observing the movement of a nightclub. Before Tim left, a guy made a pretty powerful, pretty confident move to lunge towards

grabbing a lady's ass. I would say for at least five to 10 seconds, the Vibe was super crated. And they're not rescinded, but certainly they reset and took stock of the situation. It is so weird to me that a DJ playing Robbie Williams is acceptable. Don't get me wrong, the third album I owned was Robbie Williams' The Ego Has Landed. But never in all my years did I anticipate recording a podcast in 2017

where some sort of trap remix of that song would play out and quite literally lead to absolute bedlam on the dance floor. Not the main DJ but the co-DJ. You know how every DJ has someone next to them making sure that they're turning all of the appropriate knobs and wearing the headphones in the appropriate fashion and then they go and run drinks from the bar to the DJ? Yeah. As soon as the song started, he peeled off from the booth, he found a woman dancing by herself and he started rubbing himself up on her. It did not go well for him. It is insane to me that that's, you know, like, Robbie Williams was the cue for that to happen.

It's fucking madness. Welcome back, Tim. Thank you very much. What have I missed so far? Oh, dude. I'm shutting down. Oh, no, that's not good. I've never in my life heard Robbie Williams used as a backbeat to a dubstep track.

That is a bold innovation from whoever is DJing tonight, and I welcome it. I am all about hearing exciting new ways of creating something we call music, and I'll tell you what, I've never heard of such a concept attempted before, let alone pulled off to this extent. It's amazing. Great stuff. It's funny you should mention that Tim because I brought up that exact topic while you were urinating. It's just exciting right like for people of our age to

hear Robbie Williams heard as a backing track for a dubstep I mostly found it confusing. Yeah it's discombobulating but you know what? All new social movements are. In the 60s, do you think that everyone was real comfortable with civil rights taking main stage?

Some people weren't comfortable, but they had to get used to it. In the same way that we're going to have to get used to Robbie Williams being the backbone of the forthcoming I don't know dubstep apocalypse I don't know if I'm super comfortable with those parallels being drawn they feel like pretty different things to me they're pretty flawed

all I'm saying is social movements they happen all the time as promised by our host the nightclub is filling out I want to ask you guys what do you make

of watching We Are Your Friends in an environment that best matches We Are Your Friends the movie, like the setting you know what I'm saying it was like being in 3D but 4D we turned to the nightclub maybe to help our understanding of the movie,

to deepen our connection to the subject matter. And I've got to say, as someone who is fast outgrowing the lifestyle Sean in the movie, it's done very little for me in that respect. Like, now more than ever, I feel a terrifying distance between what we're watching both on the screen and literally in real life right now and what I imagine to be normal behaviour. How might Matt is still sitting there, dead-eyed to the world,

and he's stopped moving, but his eyes are open. He's going to be there for 15 minutes. He's terrified. There's literally three ways that that guy can leave. One, his friends find him and are like, hey dude, we've got to get you out of here. Two, a bouncer comes up to him and says,

hey man, you're creeping out the locals, you've got to leave. Or three, some drunk girl who he very confidently and probably embarrassingly spoke to earlier in the night comes up to him and is like, do you want to dance? Some people have spotted us on our big, bright microphones and they don't look super stoked to see us. There's a conversation happening betwixt them and look it's going to be exciting how the night progresses.

One of them is wearing a Santa Cruz muscle tee, I don't know what that means for the rest of our night but at this particular juncture, probably ready to wrap it on up. It does mean a lot prior night Tim I think what it means for him is the likelihood of getting anyone to touch his dick is very very low it's been

I'm going to be honest with you it's been different and also quite tiresome my voice is strained we are like one centimetre from each other and both of us are yelling. Positively.

There's no getting around it. Volume is key when you're in the club trying to record a podcast. And if we've taught you nothing else, person listening right now, there's two lessons to take away from this. Number one, you've got to shout at the person next to you in a club. And number two, love yourself,

bitch. Love yourself, bitch. You've got to do it. Thank you so much for listening. We'll be back next week. Who knows where? Definitely not where we are right now. And look, let's take the opportunity to extend this as far as we can.

Go to patreon.com slash T-W-I-O-A-T If you give us more than five bucks a month you will get access to a myriad of content and when I say myriad I mean one thing specifically and that is the Deciders Club where some people pick what movie we're going to watch twice in a row and then we do an episode.

Our most recent one was Batman and Robin and we did a whole director's commentary, two hours long on that bad boy. There's lots of other tiers too, but you get access to other shit. Guy is moments away from going to Perth, Australia to do some shows. If you want the details,

head on to my website, guymontcomedy.com. Underneath the gigs tab, everything you could possibly want to find out about is right there waiting for you. Guy and I will be doing shows in the Melbourne Comedy Festival, the Sydney Comedy Festival,

the New Zealand Comedy Festival, and we're organising our world tour to end this podcast as well. So everyone, stay tuned, stay frosty. We're in the club. We'll catch you guys later. Thank you for listening. This really has to We're in the club. We'll catch you guys later. Thank you for listening. This really has to end right now, dude.

We've got to stop recording this podcast now. Ow! Classic Maximum Joseph. dies, that goes screw. One of them's a hothead, his name is Jay. One of them looks like Johnny Depp, and his name is Johnny Depp. Classic Maximum Joseph. Agree! You forget that films are supposed to have a point. Thanks for listening to this podcast.

If you're thirsty for another, why not try Boners of the Heart? Boners of the Heart! Oh, Jen Kelly's butt's got a tumblr yeah i was just about to send you a pic from it on the twitter it's a good butt isn't it it's a great butt full credit to the men's butt full credit it's so interesting how good a nice butt can be yeah and i and i say that from the position of somebody who does not have a good butt so like i don't hold it against other people but it is a real treat i don't have a good butt either i really when you see a good butt it's like a it's like appreciating lovely art it's like what a beautiful

thing congratulations