The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Thirty Six - Spag Bol

Episode Date: March 14, 2017

Timbly and Guyguy are now so bored of We Are Your Friends they are literally discussing the weather. Three dozen watches is brutal. Not as brutal as the hot new game, Big Pesky Moths though. You gotta cover yourself in meat and just wait for the king moths. It's terrible. Don't worry though, there's some show tunes and also a new game show featuring people from Sussex and a grubby beach!Trailer: Walk Out Boys Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a Little Empire podcast. Visit us at littleempirepodcast.com and on Twitter at LittleEmpirePod. Are you going to play that dastardly intro again? Try, try, try, try, try, try, try. Ow! This movie's still fine. There's a colleague who passed out. One of the guys, that guy's screw. One of them's a hothead.

His name is Jay. One of them looks like Johnny Depp. And his name is Johnny Depp. Classic Maximum Joseph. I agree. Ah! You forget that films are supposed to have a point. Hello and welcome to the worst idea of all time, episode 36, with your old mates Timbo...

And Guy. Guy is here as well. Not Guy Guy, don't call me that. We just watched the movie again, and we're here to talk about it. We're here to talk to you directly because this is important. This is important. I think now more than ever. This is my favourite moment. The moment before it starts. That's advice

from Skrill about life. Skrill. Do you agree with that? Skrill is a philosopher and a metaphor for the sacrifice we must all make in this life. For Te Pāti is the sweet reward of being able to be alive on this planet. And Skrull represents all the animals and oceans we must destroy to keep our fucking kick-ass, bitchin', totally radical lifestyles. And you'll talk to a lot of people,

a lot of environmentalists, a lot of leftists, who will tell you that we need to change our ways. Absolutely not. We have a limited time here. Our main goal is to party hard. People, you know, and it's living the moment isn't it people are so worried oh my god every moment love every day because before you know it the next

generation won't be able to stay that's how the song goes we're not all just going to keep like going half speed and preserving something with diminishing returns what's the point if we're not having the best time possible, what is even the point? Did you not either party or grow up on the sweet, sweet music of REO Speedwagon? That's a question I want you to ask yourself. Take a long, hard look at yourself and ask yourself that.

Do you not believe that these are words not just worth living by, but worth having inscribed on your flesh in ink. In Latin, the language of truth. Certainly a language that will never die. A language as old as time and also as popular and current as ever. Spoken everywhere.

One of the few languages spoken everywhere, Latin. That's right. It's actually the only language, I believe, according to Global Census released by the UN, I think in 2014, that is a native language in every country. How about that? And it's the only language that can claim that title. I think it's important that we keep fucking shit up and when our friends die because of a drug binge. There is a water crisis in Auckland right now.

And California. Yeah. They've had it going on for ages Auckland right now. And California. Yeah. They've had it going on for ages. It's new to us. Yeah. I mean, California one's pretty escalated at the moment. A real crunchy piss in your guest bathroom at your house. Did I flush it? Did you? No. The guest bathroom

is the one that's connected to my bedroom. Yeah. So that's interesting. Yeah. Just got a lot of Montgomery pee p sitting around all in the bowl well that's great appreciate that appreciate you we're not meant to flush our talk you're meant to flush it once a once a day at the moment once a day so according to the the mantra by which we have been telling you to live as long as this episode has been going i should run down should run down the garden path and flush that toilet. Nah, I think you shouldn't, because that would be like an impedance on your good times.

You're putting the P in impedance. So live with the decisions you've already made. Just like why, the only reason you would flush it is to make my life better. Why would you even think to do it? It would also be to accelerate the pace at which we're destroying the environment. Oh yeah, but that should only be in the service of a good time not you shouldn't do it just just for its own that's what i like about you you are conflicted

but certainly there's a cohesion yeah there's a logic within within your thinking that holds firm yeah i think so so i guess what it all boils boils down to is let's burn the fucker down. You know? That's the philosophy. That's the guiding principle. Rip some shit off the top shelf and burn this motherfucker to the ground. Came up with an idea for something you might want to try on the potty going forward from here on in.

Did you? Yep. Did you really? Yep. Are you going to tell me about it? May I? Yes, you may. When Zac Efron is mansplaining the concept of music to us, the humble viewer, he says that BPM is the name of the game.

And I would like for us to figure out what that game is. The game BPM? Yeah. The name of it is BPM. What does that stand for? Big Pesky Moths. Big Pesky Moths. Big Pesky Moths. A great game.

Great game for the kids, great game for the adults. I think a harrowing game for the children, but certainly good fun once you come of age. Yeah. So what you do is cover yourself head to toe in mints, and it's got to be uncooked. Mints, for those of you who are in a country that doesn't celebrate dead cows like we do in New Zealand,

it's ground up steak. A lot of people either leave them in steaks or squeeze them into sausages within the intestines of the animal itself. Here in New Zealand, what we like to do is reduce it to just like an unidentifiable sort of texture and look. There's nothing else like it really. Yeah, get a lovely steak and put it in a grinder, please. That's how I would like to consume my cow. Think about your bolognese.

That's mint often. So that was once part of a bigger thing. I'll tell you what. In terms of a cultural appropriation or misappropriation, as the case may be, how fucked is the New Zealand interpretation of spaghetti bolognese? Well, it's fucked enough that we don't call it spaghetti bolognese. We call it spag bol.

Spag bol? Spag bol! Here's how you make spag bol in New Zealand, which is an Italian dish. It must be made for a minimum of eight people at all times. Or two hungry students. Get two kilograms of the lowest quality mince beef you can find cook that up with the lowest quality mince tomato no tomato do you put tomato with yours yeah i just no it's no for mine it's two kilograms of low quality mince beef

cook up some spaghetti pasta add the two things together sp spag bol. Oh, dude, that is so dry. Oh, my God. That is the driest. That's what the cheese is for. Cheese is not wet. Cheese melts, but it doesn't get wet. Oh, man. Oh, the humanity.

Yeah. So getting back to- That's what we've done to the good food of a tale. What was the P? Italy. Being? Big pesky m Italy Being Big pesky moths Big pesky moths So you've got to cover yourself head to toe in meat stuffs

For a start And I hasten to add as well You've got to be naked This is imperative Be naked Cover yourself in meat stuffs And then you've got to flap your arms around Like a moth chasing a light or a flame.

And then? And then, well, then pretty much what you're going to hope is that the moths will mistake the mints at the pace at which it's moving for a light. Yeah, moths, real moths. And then if they fly towards you, if you can collect, or not collect because you can't really collect a moth, but if enough moths and then if they if they fly towards you if you can collect or not collect because you can't really collect a moth but if enough moths gather around your flailing mince riddled body then the king or queen moth will descend from their towering heights and land atop you they weigh quite a lot moths do weigh quite a lot that's why you can hear the big ones when they smash into a window

The king or queen moth certainly weighs a lot Yeah, the smaller moths even I don't like moths, Tim I don't like them at all Do you not? No, it's not an irrational fear Because moths killed my family Really?

Yeah I'm so sorry to hear that So it's a reasonable fear They must be quite recent Yeah, very recent I think in between us starting recording and now Really? Yeah. I'm so sorry to hear that. So it's a reasonable fear. It must be quite recent. Yeah, very recent. I think in between us starting recording and now. I just got a text.

Were they big moths or were they little moths and your family all chucked on them? It was from the police. They were very unspecific. Weird. Oh, the moths meant from the police. The news was of the deaths. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. It would be pretty wild if the police were training moths,

though, wouldn't it? It feels like the plural of moth should be moth, don't you think? Yes. It's not a natural sound to have an S after it. Moths.

Any TH sound with an S after it is tricky. I've got a bunch of moth. I've got multiple Keiths. A plural on Keith. Can we get a plural check on I.L IL Keith, please? Oh, well, I feel we've done everything but address what happened in the room when we watched the movie.

Big pesky moths, though. That doesn't sound like a fun game. Well. Or particularly like a kind of, you know what it sounds like? It sounds like a terrible idea we came up with, to be honest. BPM is the name of the game, Tim. Long may it improve yeah i mean we've certainly got multiple weeks to look forward to the improvement of this segment do you know

what you've done inadvertently i say you we i'll color myself inside this uh this as well we've started with a very low bar which is great because you can you can get above it in the weeks as they go by keep improving start low start so phenomenally low that you can get above it in the weeks as they go by. Keep improving. Start low. Start so phenomenally low that you can't do anything but improve and people can at least do that. That's true. I see people starting out in new career paths and you're making bold new decisions,

and I see them doing so terribly at the start, and I'm just so jealous because I know that any sort of form of improvement across the first months, weeks, or years of this new chosen profession is, A, very possible and easy to achieve, and, B, incredibly impressive to the outside. And I both envy and resent those people for that. So Ziccoli, when he starts, is just like, has such rudimentary DJ skills that he's got a loop that's just labeled techno. That's all it says, which is okay.

You've got one techno loop. Cool. Is there like one called house? Almost definitely. Do you think he ever uses the house one, Tim? Acid jazz. One called dubstep. One called death metal, which is just kick drum bass.

One called... Do you know my first instinct would be to overlay all of those songs on each other and release that, a multi-genre mashup. I think it's just noise, though. No, it's more nuanced than that. Is it? It doesn't sound like it,

because it sounds like you're just biffing everything on at the same time and looping some noise. It's for a refined air. Yeah. Yeah. All right, mate. Thanks, mate. Justification of art.

Easy to do, isn't it? You know? You just go, no, no, don't worry about it, guys. It turns out I'm a genius. I've watched the way art works, and I think what it is is the people, you have to be initially incredible

like certainly in the world of actual art as it's described in galleries and contemporary art you first have to be technically very proficient

and very good so it's the opposite of the improvement thing we were relating to before exactly you have to do like 5 to 10 years of that

and then once you've proven to everyone how good you are at making art you get to just start making terrible like it's like you've proven your ability and then you you get to just start making terrible like it's like you've proven your ability and then you just get

to start making terrible terrible so it's like getting a job in a country that's got really like strong labour laws you gotta get through that job interview

and once you're there you just fuck around you've earned the right to phone it in yeah it's like if you think about management and restaurants

the managers are doing the least often all the employees all the bus boys and all the people on the ground floor they're all running around If you think about management in restaurants, the managers are doing the least often. All the employees, all the busboys and all the people on the ground floor, they're all running around doing all that. Can't speak to that guy. The hard work, the hard stuff. Think about it in terms of working in the tax department, Tim. And you look at the manager and you're like,

you come in later than us and you walk around just in between our desks all day pretending to monitor our behavior. What are you actually contributing? This feels like the plebeians not having a full understanding of the level above them no this is a very you're like occupy this is a smart and no willingness to to look at the importance of the machinery of the bureaucracy long may it rain i am very here to support the paper pushers Yeah that's good on you man All I'm telling you is

My flag is just a pencil And I wave it high Sounds sexual When you say it like that doesn't it No Like in a gross way No The word pencil isn't

Sort of innately sexual for me Interesting More interesting than it is for you I think I guess so The word pencil isn't sort of innately sexual for me. Oh, interesting. More interesting than it is for you, I think. I guess so. It's one of those things where everything gets considered phallic now, eh? So look, we've watched... Again, it was all on you. We've watched We Are Your Friends 36 times now,

and it was an interesting combination of paces this week where sometimes the time just flew by because Guy and I were just having a chinwag while we were watching the screen, which I feel like we can afford to do now that we are pretty familiar with the text. It's technically naughty, but if you guys saw how grouchy I think Tim looked when I arrived today,

I was like, if we sit through watching your friends together right now without talking to each other, Tim is going to come out the other side of this just like a shell of a person, really. I feel like I still am. A shadow of your true self. And so to try and stoke the conversational fire, as I like to say, I prodded and preened at you, Tim.

I tried to start a fight. Tried to start various different sort of positive forms of communication, conversation. You put your groin sort of in my vicinity. I was reaching for something that was inconveniently stationed just above your head. There are a lot of ways to skin that cat and you chose a particularly invasive one. We're not here to correct people who are doing a job. I know I'm not the original person to say this by a country mile,

but what is the entomology of that saying? How many ways to skin a cat? Actually, I was listening to a podcast recently about Jack the Ripper and apparently they used to eat cats quite a lot in England. Semi-recently, like sort of a couple hundred years ago, to the point where there were like kind of cat butchers. Yeah.

In cat shops. They'd have like cat pie and stuff. I mean, if the popularity of that saying today is anything to go by, those cat butchers must have wielded some mighty power and sway back in the day. I don't know how else they got passed down from generation to generation. Add that into the lexicon. Because you don't say there's many ways to kill a cow. It's better too because it's kind of got the alliteration going on, you know?

Kill a cow. Skin a cat. Skin a skint. Nah, it's hard to skin a skint. It would be, but it'd be rewarding. Although they're tiny. It'd be much more rewarding to skin a cat. A nice cat pelt.

Yeah, I guess you're right. I don't know. I quite like the scales of something though. Yeah? You know, like a little lizard. A little lizard skin. What did you think of the movie? We Are Your Friends?

Yeah. Look, man, it's getting even harder to actually form an opinion about it yeah i know what you mean i remember this feeling vividly with sex and city too and it was much more i think uh negative then but this just feels like a mutual uh parting of ways almost like a um yeah it's like if a relationship is fizzled out and no one's very upset about it. It's just the magic's gone. And there's no need for us to be here anymore. We just need to get on with our lives, I think.

Well, we've got to go through the motions of still spending time with one another. How do you feel like, so I think we both kind of know how the relationship with Sex and City 2 went. Cast your mind back. What was that breakup period leading up to our final days with Grown Ups 2 like? Oh, man.

Your first love. And there's no love quite like it, you know? That's so true. The first cut is the deepest. And the emotions attached were all heightened. The jubilation and excitement of reaching the zenith of that season and checking out really overwhelmed any of the doldrums and negative feelings we would have had through the middle parts.

Yeah. Whereas I think this does feel like all of our limbs have been tranquilized or something, and we're just sort of slowly ambling our way out the door. Oh. Yeah. This is pretty sad. It is sad.

Yeah, it's a loveless marriage is what it is. It's like the commitment has trapped us there. Any flashes of hope or brilliance for you, Tim? None. Not a one. A shining light, perhaps? Well, a shining light, you say. There's got to be one of those

you are legally obligated and in the state of maryland well you know what it was the moment for me this week and i'm really skirting the um edges of what a shining light should be in my own heart but during the final closing moments of the movie where zicoli is playing his set on stage at Summerfest and Johnny Depp and Paige Harrell former incarnation of the devil or former host of Satan's Spirit more accurately. They look at each other in a car for just a moment while

one of them's smoking and it's kind of like, it looks like the same guy is looking at himself and neither of them look exactly like Johnny Depp or page but it's like an amalgamation of the two it's weird it's like page and johnny depp got together and had twins like the movie with arnie and danny devito and then we're watching the twins in the car for a moment i I see.

So skirting around the edges of what you and your heart think a shining light should be because it's more of a curiosity you noticed this week. Well, I mean, I did enjoy it because it was different. So from that point of view, it counts. Absolutely. But it's something to do with the rare moment where you get to see their side profiles. Usually they're shot front on always.

But this is an example of a time where we see their side profiles. Usually they're shot front on always. But this is an example of a time where we see their side profiles and it catches me off guard. And especially with Johnny Depp's revamped facial hair or sort of lack thereof. You know, it's all different. I hear you and I physically feel you. I'm physically touching you right now.

That's true. I'm touching your arm, your left bicep. Okay. It's quite nice. You're warm. Your flesh is very warm. Don't say flesh. It is warm in here, and it is flesh.

It's cooking. It's cooking. Did you have a particularly shining moment? Look, it's really hard to say, Tim. Nothing immediately jumps out at me. I remember observing aloud to you at one point in a scene set in Somaly's car as she drives Zicoli back to his abode. I thought that the soundtracking, the audio on that was...

The pair of the engine. Yeah. While we're inside the vehicle. Outstanding. I thought it felt like I was in a car. Also, it did a good job because it looks like quite a beefy, meaty sort of sports car, maybe a Viper. And how quiet it sounded in the car i thought was quite true to how if you've ever been on a motorbike or in a car with a big engine i hate them when i'm on the street they're so loud and

obnoxious but when you're on the motorbike in a helmet or inside of the car it kind of muffles just how obnoxious the sound of that vehicle is yeah and i thought that the audio track really captured that those cars are taking the mood that the audio track really captured that. Those cars are taking the mood that we were talking about earlier and running with it, eh? It's like, I'm having a good time, and I frankly, my dear, could not care less about you. Jet skis are one of the ultimate embodiments of that.

Jet skis. There's nothing that says, I'm having a good time, and fuck you, quite like a jet ski. Boy, unless you put some machetes on it. Yeah. I mean, that would probably be the only doubling down of that, wouldn't it? That's a hell of a way to improve on a loud water vehicle. On a loud water-based motorbike.

Throw some mini swords on there. Swords. I once, when I was staying with my uncle who was... A sword? No, he was quite successful at the time. He had two jet skis and two motorbikes. And one day I swapped around the jet skis and the motorbikes. And he took out one of the motorbikes thinking it was a jet ski and he drowned.

Far out. It was a great prank. He just didn't pay any attention to what he was getting on. He was like, this is in the location where it was a jet ski and he drowned. Far out. It was a great prank. He just didn't pay any attention to what he was getting on. He was like, this is in the location where I keep a jet ski. Yeah. Seems good. Yeah. Got out in the water.

And then that's when he realized. That's when he realized he wasn't on a jet ski. Yeah, or he realized it was a motorbike. Yeah. Yeah. It'd be interesting to know exactly when that moment hit him. Was it like when it sort of first blushed onto the water? Well, the moment I knew it hit him was when he was waving at me

as the bike was sinking from the middle of the lake going, you bastard, this isn't a jet ski. Could he not swim, your uncle? Oh, not in all the leather. Right. I see. He would wear leather on his jet ski. Yeah, he wears leather on both.

That makes sense. Indiscriminate. Was he a good swimmer outside of the leathers? Oh, if he wasn't in leather, the man was a borderline Olympic level athlete. Far out.

I know. Isn't that good? It's just the twists and turns of life, isn't it? It's the little things that become big moments. Yeah. You never know,

you know, what's going to, you never know what's going to happen in the very next moment of your life. Especially with uncles. You've got to keep an eye on in the very next moment of your life. Especially with uncles. You've got to keep an eye on them. They're always mixing it up.

Uncles are certainly an interesting proposition. Yeah, aren't they? Because I think they feel a closeness and sort of maybe a natural sense of coolness because they're your parents' sibling. And so they're like, hey, yeah, I'll be cool. An obligation to coolness. Yeah. An Arthur Fonzarelli type vibe.

A little bit older, a little bit removed. I must be the cool role model for this guy. Exactly. And then it's interesting, you know, because you grow up and you don't really know how to differentiate or distinguish what you think of anybody. You just have a sort of sense in your gut of what you think of anybody. You just have a sense in your gut of what you think of people.

And then you learn to articulate why you feel the way you do. And then you realise that maybe your uncles aren't all so cool. Some of them, for instance, ride on jet skis in leather. Could you list five things you would rather have done with the time we just spent watching the movie today

off the top of your head? Walking around. One. Where would you have done with the time we just spent watching the movie today off the top of your head? Walking around? One. Where would you have walked around? Just out of interest. I probably would have walked around, down around Western Springs where our last podcast was set. Lovely. And then up along through sort of Westmere and back home

through Greyland Park. Ideally it would have taken about an hour, which would have given me about half an hour to cool down. It's very muggy out today. I would have rather been watching some stand-up comedy on Netflix. I've been trying to watch more stand-up comedy, and I've still got a few specials to work through on Netflix. That is certainly something that would have brought me much more joy.

Catching up with a friend for a beer. Yep. That would have been marvellous been marvelous yep that's three uh spending time with my family okay i mean that's something i don't do weekly and i'm sure would feel much more fulfilling and enjoyable and nourishing i think than doing this imagine that imagine if we all made a commitment instead of doing a podcast once a week to seeing our family i think the world would have turned a little easier Wouldn't it? Yeah it would be different

I don't think it would be good And watching a new release movie at the cinema Oh wouldn't that be good I love doing that Yeah How about them new release movies eh folks? Yeah Have you seen one?

Oh it's good Isn't it? So good You go in there, you get your popcorn, you get your, you walk into a big air conditioned room. Non-brand soda drink.

Soda pop. Yeah. Sit down in your big chair. It's a rare treat these days. Went to a movie yesterday. Someone's phone was vibrating for five minutes through the middle of the movie. I tell you what. It was incredible.

That's easy. Flight mode. Five minutes, though. It's like there were enough people, there was enough density that everyone thought it was someone else's and no one bothered to check. But second to that, five minutes means that whoever was calling them, the cycle was like, what, 30 to 40 seconds.

Yeah, usually. Would have had to have made upwards of 10 phone calls. Oh, that makes me feel bad. That makes me feel like something's gone 30 to 40 seconds. Yeah, usually. Would have had to have made, like, upwards of 10 phone calls. Oh, that makes me feel bad. That makes me feel like something's gone very wrong. Yeah. They really need to get in touch with that person. How badly do you need to talk to someone that you make 10 consecutive phone calls? Well, I mean, even if it is really bad, and that does happen from time to time,

when do you, you know, call it quits for right then? They're not going to pick up. Who's out there just ringing infinitely? I don't know. It's one of these days. He's going to pick it up. So long as we are here, Tim, you and I. Yes.

Can we touch each other again? Would you like to hold my hand? As we sing a song. Can you hear the people sing singing the song it is the voices of our people who will not be slaves again when the beating of your heart matches the beating of the drum, I cannot remember the rest of the lyrics now. A MacBook Pro box gifted from one friend to another under the guise of sentimentality and self-servingness.

We haven't earned this. It feels like getting sentimental with James Reid is something you've got to earn, and I feel like we haven't earned this. It feels like getting sentimental with James Reid is something you've got to earn, and I feel like we haven't earned this this week. How do you have to earn it, and how have we not? I just feel like it's... There is a bar, there's an expectation. You know I was talking before about how

you set the bar low to start with so you can keep improving. Do you know how hard it is to keep on an upward trajectory after two and a half seasons of something? Like this? This is hard. And we should be better at it. And I pose the question to you,

are we ever going to be better than this? And the answer is probably no. It's probably downhill from here. I don't know why people are still listening. I'll split an air conditioner with you. We'll put it in the studio. God damn, that sounds great. That sounds great.

That'd really fix my mood. I think that's certainly a good idea. It's so hot in here. It's so dank in here. It's the sort of dank I think that you get on a long haul flight. Okay. When you aren't quite aware of it until you leave and then you sort of feel like this cutting wave of freshness

and you're like, how stinky was it getting in there? Opens the MacBook Pro box. Inside, a couple of bits of stiff paper locks on them. They're plane tickets to Ibiza. And he's given it to Zuccoli with a VIP performer's pass to a music festival. Zuccoli's over the moon. He's so stoked. Thanks, James Reid from the Feelers.

Gives him a big hug and a kiss. Runs home. A cuddle, a hug, and a squeeze, squeeze, squeeze. And a smush. For a kiss. As always, a smush. And he runs back home to his place. Or actually to Jarhead's heads into the pool house he goes

grabs a bundle of his clothes and sets off for the airport um he hasn't quite put it together in his head that what james reed from the fearless has done for this is a self-serving gift is book him to play at a festival during summer fest so really it was a diversionary tactic. And Ziccoli, presumably in the world of the movie, is meant to be upset by this? Only when he figures it out, which only happens while he's on the plane, on the way over there.

But he has still been given a paid ticket for a paid gig at a music festival in Ibiza. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't get into much detail about the festival in Ibiza, did I? No, so far it sounds outstanding and like the better end of the bargain. It's called Garbage Fest. What it is is 80 people handpicked from Sussex who they fly over in a charted plane. And it's a music festival featuring the world's worst DJs playing on a stage while the 80 people from Sussex have to pick up rubbish from the beach. Why does this music festival exist? It's actually a cleaning

initiative from the council. Surely the amount of carbon wasted on flying 80 people from Sussex to Ibiza and a DJ over from Los Angeles outweighs. They don't have a global view in Ibiza. They're just like, we've got a beach that's pretty grubby, so we're going to fly over 80 people from Sussex and some of the world's worst DJs and put on a festival. Do the people from Sussex pay to be a part of it? Absolutely not. They win tickets in the same way that the DJs do,

and it's kind of no one knows what they're in for, but they get there. They think it's kind of no one knows what they're in for, but they get there. They think it's a prize. How do you make these people pick up rubbish once they arrive? Can't they just wander off and go to one of the other outstanding music festivals on Ibiza? Absolutely not,

because the wristbands that they put on to gain entry have electrodes in them. And if they either slow down in picking up the rubbish or go outside the parameters of where the council is designated, they pick up the trash, they get shocked. And not a little, a lot. That sounds like imprisonment.

No, not imprisonment per se. More like the greatest reality television show that has come out of Ibiza since America's next top DJ from Ibiza. This is all for a television production company that's doing this? Well, it's both. The council gets together with the TV production company, they make a game show whereby people don't know that they're in a game show or that they're in a beach cleaning initiative.

Does James Reid have a stake in the production company who produced the show? EP. He's got an EP credit? Yeah. He's the EP. How was the long game here? How long has James Reid been sort of grooming? Four cycles so far. Four cycles of the moon? Of what?

No, it's had four seasons of this show. This is the fourth season. How long has he been grooming Zicole for? Since we met him outside of that club. It was all constructed outside of social. So he knew immediately that was a terrible DJ. Yes. He's thrown play outside.

James Reid from the Feelers was on later at social, so he was able to slip outside and see Zicole play his terrible set. And he was like, this guy sucks. He's perfect. Oh, man. That opens up so many questions of, like, authenticity in the relationship for Zac. Like, Ziccoli will be devastated.

Yeah. And, I mean, in some ways, depending on what sort of strings you want to connect here, what dots you want to string along together, do we blame squirrel's death on partially the jubilation that zikoli's got from thinking that he's going to play summer fest and then it's taken away from him and and then he thinks he's playing a really like you know both james reed and his production company and the local council to be that all need

to take a long hard look at themselves i I mean, this sounds extremely exploitative. And it is. All the best reality television is. But it's a good show. And realistically, isn't that all that matters? I guess so. It's really fun to watch. You've got love stories among the garbage people from Sussex.

You've got Tales of Redemption of these terrible DJs. Why Sussex? That's just the area they picked. Is it always Sussex or is it different cycles? Always Sussex. Every cycle it's been Sussex. How do people from Sussex keep getting sucked out if this is the fourth cycle of the show?

They're not allowed to talk about it. They have to sign an NDA when they go. But surely if it's being released on television in the UK, then the people of Sussex will watch the show back. No, they don't have TVs in Sussex. Do they? I don't think they do. I'll look that up later, but I'm pretty sure that's the case.

How else could this work? I'm pretty confident that Sussex don't have TVs, Guy. I don't know enough about it. It's pretty weird that you didn't know that. I'll have to take out your word. I mean, you don't sound entirely convincing, but... I'm just relaying what's up, my man. Hey, appreciate it, appreciate it.

And if you can't pick up what's going down, that's on you, friend. Yeah. All right? I agree. I will wear the responsibility for that. And you should. Yeah, so anyway, I invite you all to watch Garbage Fest Cycle 5 coming out later this year.

I will confess I am also, I've gained an EP credit on it recently. Pardon? I'm getting a little on the back end. This show exists beyond the realm of the podcast. This is a real TV show. This is a real show that I am involved in that you're co-executive producing

with James Reid from The Feelers the character from the movie We Are Your Friends that's right and you have headhunted Zicoli the crying DJ I wasn't involved

in that cycle it was cycle 4 I came on after that so you have come on since the release of We Are Your Friends yeah and it currently

what an inquisitive wee lad you are what a little questioning i mean it's you're revealing a lot of information about yourself that i would have thought i would have had some even in passing why do you think i'm so busy all the time mate i'm trying to coordinate a production of a show where people from sussex can't possibly find out the real... It would be easier if you were on the ground in Sussex, wouldn't it? You would think that, but I'm also having to juggle a lot of DJs from all around the world, so there's a certain tax advantage to staying in New Zealand.

I don't think staying in Auckland the whole time is going to make your life any easier. Oh, look, Skype fixes an incredible amount of problems. It's going to make your life any easier. Oh, look, Skype fixes an incredible amount of problems. Well, this has been a revelation, if nothing else, Tim. You know, you think you know... Do you want to come to Garbage Fest, mate? Absolutely not. I don't want any part in this.

You think you know someone, you sit and record with them for over two and a half years. Yeah. We're up to three now, by the way. Okay. Three years. Hey, happy anniversary. Yeah, happy anniversary.

To find out that they've secretly started taking an EP credit on a show that literally we watched, exists within a world we built together. Do you have any idea how betrayed I feel? Oh, you don't need to though Just reframe that You don't have to feel betrayed Just feel surprised and happy Just reframe it

Hashtag reframe it You know make your own decisions You don't have to be outraged Me being outraged is me making my own decision Reframing it is you making a decision for me Well I'm going to reframe how I'm going to interpret your anger. And I think you're just surprised. I'm not surprised.

I'm telling you I'm not surprised. You can't tell me what emotion I'm expressing. Well, that is exactly what I would expect a surprised person to say. No, that's what an angry person says. Nah, I don't think so. That's not how I'm framing this. Well. At any rate, you should check out the show.

And I would recommend people buy DVDs of the previous cycles because I found out recently I get a little cut off those too. You weren't even involved in the production of them. You've just said on the record. Yeah, I know. That's all we've got time for this week on the worst idea of all time. We can keep going. Absolutely.

I don't want to record with you anymore so uh this week's no but which is a segment where we try and establish what part of the movie the actors just ad-libbed went off the page um and made up on the spot uh this week funnily enough was the shot when they're walking into the music festival and there is an x-ray shot of them they decided to do that on the day and there is an x-ray shot of them. They decided to do that on the day and used a real x-ray machine with enough power that they could just shoot it in front of a real camera. Outside from 20 yards away. Yeah.

Do you know how much radiation that requires? Do you know how many extras got very sick? A lot, but there are no unions in Nevada, so I guess who got away with it? Maximum Joseph, Megan Oppenheimer, the team behind We Are Your Friends. It was a beautiful play on their behalf. But it was led by the actors, and that's important,

because when Zac Efron tells you to jump, your question is how high. When he requests a shot to be on the fly added to the movie where you can see people's skeletons with the naked eye, you say how much radiation he shuts down every state hospital in nevada to take all of their x-ray machines assemble them on set plug them all into the same multi-box yeah so as to generate enough radiation that they can get this shot exactly as he imagined it you say certainly mr efron the children will have to wait for their treatment have we dug into how much heat squirrel is packing like disproportionately hey so the x-ray shot reveals how much drugs they're bringing into that music festival and um i stress this isn't garbage

fest or summer fest that we're talking about this is the festival that they go to in las vegas which i think remains unnamed throughout the the movie didn't think to name that character did they the festival they might name it when somerly um speaks to james reed about it when they when they're recording something fields yeah silver i don't know something fields it's probably a real one too That exists They do a bit of that In this movie So

Yeah They're all packing heat They're bringing drugs in To sell at the festival They're selling drugs They're drug dealers You get the x-ray shot Revealing how they've

Hidden it on their bodies And Skrill was carrying So much more drugs Than everyone else And he was the most Nervous one in the car Unsurprisingly Because literally

None of the other guys Are taking in anything that would probably result in jail time. Skrull is picking up the slack. In a drug way. In a drug way. Do you commend him for that or do you think bad Skrull? It's hard to say. I'm conflicted. I think on the one hand, good on him for you know taking the taking the

reins where other friends are too afraid yeah I respect that I respect that decisive sort of decision making and I mean I think they're all going to be grateful for it when they get a great haul of cash from the festival on the other hand I think the risk is unfairly his and his alone yeah that's fair well it's unfair your comments fear what he's undertaking is unfairly his and his alone. Yeah, that's fair. Well, it's unfair. Your comment's fair. What he's undertaking is unfair. Yeah, unless they... Really identify with Skrill.

Unless the way they divvy up the money is that the more you take in, the higher the cut of profits you take from the festival. These boys don't seem like those kind of mathematical boys to me. Skrill's the figures guy. Yeah, that's true. Although he didn't really get to the bottom of Johnny Depp ripping them all off at the quarry.

He was very upset because he mispronounced Kevin Systrom's name as Captain Sidestream. Yeah, that's true. That'll get anyone riled up, won't it? That'll get anyone down in the dumps on their haunches. Look, it's unbearably hot in here. Oh, so now on your terms, we can end the podcast. I guess now that you're an executive producer, you just make these kinds of decisions, do you,

without any consideration for how it affects the people who you're working with or have been working with? I'd like to talk about the fact that I'm coming to Brisbane tomorrow and I would really appreciate it if anyone who's listening to Brisbane came along to my comedy festival show because I have no idea if anyone who's listening in Brisbane came along to my comedy festival show because I have no idea if anyone's coming at all. That's what I would like to talk about. Brisbane, Australia

a real place Brisbane, Queensland, Australia featuring arguably the most iconic airport tower in, if not the Antipodes certainly the Southern Hemisphere a real triumph of industry and a feat of engineering and uh a building that i can't wait to come into close contact with

tomorrow morning upon landing if anyone wants to see any of those snaps you can uh follow me on instagram at guy underscore mont we're also uh guy and i are going to be at the melbourne international comedy festival and we're spitballing some ideas about how to put on a live show because we haven't organised one yet. I think maybe just rent a hotel room and invite you all to come and join us. Yeah. What do you think? So yeah, if you're in Melbourne, let us know if you'd be into that.

There's a tweet or something? Yeah, if there's enough, we might even have to rent something bigger. An Airbnb perhaps. If you would like to see when people across the network are doing some live shows, just go to littleempirepodcast.com. Singular. Slash live. Yeah.

And everything you want is there. Now, would you please leave us to have an argument in peace? Ow! This movie's still fine. There's a colleague who passed out. One of them dies, that guy's a squirrel. One of them's a hothead, his name is Jay. One of them looks like Johnny Depp, and his name is Johnny Depp. Classic Maximum Joseph.

Agree! Ah! You forget that films are supposed to have a point. Thanks for listening to this podcast. If you're thirsty for another, why not try... Oh, shit. Another boat? Oh, ship. Here comes a boat.

Guess which boat? Which one? The HMS Titanic. Oh, my God. That's right. Because this movie's set in the past. This is not a good boat to get on.