The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Three - Croissant

Episode Date: October 5, 2018

It's awards season so we discuss the 8 awards Grown Ups 2 was nominated for. We also go deep on the purpose/justification for this damn movie. Also, a new segment is introduced called Shining Light.We float an idea for episode 25 and evaluate each others mental health as we cross the 300 minute mark of watching this hot mess of a film. Also, a delicious croissant. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Worst Idea of All Time Podcast. Hello and welcome to this, the third episode of the Worst Idea in the World Podcast. My name is Tim Batt. It's the Worst Idea of All Time. Hello and welcome to the Worst Idea of All Time Podcast Episode 3 with me, Tim Batt. And me, Guy Montgomery. And we couldn't get the cast of Grown Ups 2 in the studio today, but that's okay.

We watched it instead. We watched them do the movie again. For those of you who have just joined us, and I'm not sure why you would on episode three, this is a podcast in which myself and Guy... No, literally, I'm not sure why you would. Watch Grown Ups every week and then do a brief podcast review. Discussion.

Debrief. Bye. How do you feel about the movie now? It's great to be here. Obviously it's great to be here. Week three. I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel. I am starting to not now, which is a weird feeling.

Well, I think before we start this week's podcast, we should at least talk about the award ceremony that went on in the weekend. Absolutely. Today is Oscars Day. Yesterday was the Razzies, which if you're not familiar with the Razzies, they are the Razzberries Awards. They're the anti-Osc, which if you're not familiar with the Razzies, they are the Razzberries Awards. They're the anti-Oscars, if you will. So they celebrate the worst films and worst aspects in film

that has come out in the last 12 months. Grown Ups 2 was nominated for a staggering eight awards, which is quite a lot. And it's absolutely devastating to report it didn't take out a single one. Not one. Which means it's too shit to even win shit awards. It would have lent a certain amount of gravitas to the podcast if we said

in which we review, we watch and review weekly eight Razzie winning film grown-ups too, but instead Do you want to hear what it was nominated for? Yes. Worst picture, worst actor worst supporting actor, worst director worst on screen combo

that's all I write down but there are some others obviously because that's not out. Yeah well I mean they were up against some stiff competition Will Smith and his son I think in a Razzie first. Yeah they've taken out both worst actor for Jaden Smith and worst supporting actor for his father, Will,

for After Earth, which I haven't seen. No. But that's the Scientology film. But that's another podcast. All together. So, yeah, obviously Oscars today, which I didn't think it would impact the way I came into it. By the way, just for reference, everyone,

it's 11 o'clock on a Monday morning. This is how we started the week today. We started the week watching Grown Ups 2 at 9 and it's a weird thing to watch any movie at 9 o'clock on a Monday morning. It is, I'm trying to think of some way to relate

it to an experience you might have had because it's, so some people get up quite early on a Mondayay morning and they'll go to um uh what's that intense fitness regime everyone's doing these days ludus magnus uh uh boot camp yeah that's what i said too um so it's kind of like it's kind of boot camp at the opposite it'd be like shoving you can tell by the you can tell i'll tell you how you can tell it's not a great way to start the week is listen to tim batts analogy that is evidence of a man whose brain isn't functioning at full capacity anyway this is the weird thing now the movie's starting

to have an effect on me where it's numbing what i was saying was i found it slightly i can't feel i found it affecting that we're watching it on Oscars Day and it's sort of just hammered home, you know, there are other movies out there. There are other options, good options. Definitely. And this is our lot. This is what we've lumped ourselves in with.

Two hours every week we're watching this film. It's only 101 minutes, but it feels like... That doesn't seem like it could be true fuck okay i actually came up with a theory for this movie while i was watching it today um i i really think that this is possible as well i think that grown-ups too might have been made as a tax dodge okay i think it's like a shell project that wasn't ever supposed to make any money or anything and like the producers like yeah yeah exactly the premise of the producers not the film itself wonderful so what can you explain that for the people like me um i haven't quite figured out

all the nuts and bolts of it but there were just a few clues firstly that this film is fucking awful and uh so a tax dodge is when you set something up like a company or a project for for the sole purposes of using it in accounting it doesn't actually do the function it's parading around to do so this film was parading around to be a kind of almost family comedy but there are some real tip-offs and that it's not um number one very early on in the film when we first meet nick who is the drug addled bus driver he announces that his relationship was just broken up his marriage has ended after three weeks because his new bride found him anally inserting a banana he doesn't say that though he says it's a it's a great gag he says she found me eating a banana with my butt with my butt which oh i'm sorry man i've got i can't i got no i got so i got no very pervasive involvement in

this film also really is a signal few qualms with me yeah uh i think it is mentioned no less than three times at very different times in the film they spend half the day in a kmart i think it might have been a kmart um kind of tax product this movie also the fact that there is approximately 300 people in the film yeah it was a tip-off for me so i think maybe everyone's at the trough here using this to write off a whole lot of income so they can lower their taxes. And now people, when we look back on this film, you know, years from now,

when I'd like to think we might have stopped watching it, and it's being investigated, will we be able to say we were there? Let's abandon what I'm talking about because you strike on something. Imagine if we are watching this in years to come. Imagine if we're still doing in years to come imagine if we're still doing this on like a monday morning this would be but i'd like to think by then this is

all we do imagine if we were living off of this this is one thing i was thinking about is what say this turned into uh you know um you somehow we sold ad space on this podcast now would you list would you no i know but you know just indulge me okay would you describe your job which would be podcasting yeah specifically watching grown-ups too and reviewing it once a week a the greatest cushiest job in the world, or B, like the worst job? That's a really good question. It is one of those jobs where I really think it would be like, oh, you have to watch one movie for two hours a week? What a cinch.

It's got like David Spade and Kevin James and Adam Sandler in it. That sounds amazing. You live off that? And we'd be like, no, you don't get this. You don't understand what this is like so you think you don't feel at home you think it would be one of the worst jobs you can have i really do man so that means that right now what we're doing for free for nothing yeah is i get why yeah you really painted me into a corner you're right yeah the clues in the title though i don't know why i'm obsessing over this uh you also stumbled into another theory during the movie tim which uh we can discuss if i can remember it um i think it was something that

you uh you sparked this that this movie kind of encapsulates everything that's wrong with america the country culturally at the moment so this film grown-ups too is actually um sort of the set piece in terms of cultural products that you can turn to and go this is what it's all about this is what's gone wrong yeah yeah this is what's wrong with the country it's basic things like parental negligence uh the encouragement of settling your problems with violence racial segregation yeah there is man i know that they pay a bit of lip service to trying to throw some interracial couples in the mix but there's

there's very like set couples and stuff the whites are with the whites the blacks are with the blacks that's smaller stuff though there's also the idea that masculinity

is defined by violence the whole movie that's a very big theme in this as well it is it's about largely it's about

you know I'm gonna get thematic here so bear with me for a second'm going to get thematic here, so bear with me for a second. I've got my thematic hat on. It's about sticking up for yourself. And as a man, so Adam Sandler, obviously it's an ensemble cast, but he is essentially our protagonist.

And he is obsessed with sticking up for himself, with sort of, I guess, winning back some lost pride that he had in school because he used to get bullied and he never fought back. So the big climactic sort of, I guess what's meant to be heartwarming moment is when he stands up to that bully from high school and he's doing it in front of his son as if to say, I need my son to see this is how you handle your problems. The bully, of course, played by Stone Cold Steve Austin. And so he's saying, he's setting an example in front of the whole city at a party he's hosting that this

is how you deal with your problems you stand up like a man and you you you physically have a fight you fight with your fists that's the only way that's the only way to be a man and then before you know it the whole town's fighting the fraternity and it's it is i before you know it, the whole town's fighting the fraternity. And it is, I think, you know, there's definitely, I mean, the tax theories is more sort of conspiracy-based. You know, it might come through. But I do think there's a kernel, a nugget of truth in this. They're not mutually exclusive. Grown-ups too could be, A, a tax dodge,

and also, B, just a symbol that has been produced accidentally out of that process is showing everything that's wrong with American cultural values in 2014. Yeah, this is definitely... Also, like last week, we touched on the fact that no one does their jobs. They're living in some sort of weird entitlement system where they go, I'm just entitled to get my paycheck irrespective of how much work I get done it is actually

interesting to me that we're breaking into the movie this much it's not a movie that's designed to be watched three times let alone

it doesn't stand up to one viewing mate yeah oh god I mean listen to how we this is how these are coping mechanisms

we're developing now to get through the movie is you have to think about new angles or reasons it exists or why it is the way it is to justify your own wretched reasons for watching it and this is after a mega 303 minutes of watching Grown Ups 2 let's drag ourselves out of the darkness

and put ourselves into the light in a segment that I've just thought of this second which is called The Worst Idea of All Time Podcast Shining Light I will kick off if you would like, Guy, but this is a bit where I would like each of us to pick a bit of the movie that we like and talk about. Okay.

There is a very short bit of the film that I like a lot where our gentlemen are at the quarry and the fraternity is at the quarry as well, led by Taylor Lautner from Twilight. And David Spade's son is in the water. Yeah, this is a good bit, actually. Adam Sandler's two sons. Oh, no, wait.

Fuck, there's two of the kids. Two of the kids. Chris Rock's kid and Adam Sandler's kid are hanging out at the quarry. And they get kind of run into by this very attractive bikini-clad chick who's at the college, who's drunk, and gives them two beers. And they're like, oh, we can't drink beers. We're too young, which is weird because they're 17. So I guess legally. This is America.

Yeah, another cultural value, which is part of why they're so terrible. They can't drink. Because 17-year-olds don't drink beer. Yeah, exactly. You heard me. They can't drink till... Because 17-year-olds don't drink beer. Exactly, you heard me. So, so, so, so.

They have to dispose of the beers in a way where it looks like they're drinking them. So what they do is they just take the caps off and then turn their backs to the frat and it looks like they're pissing them out. They just tip them out. So I don't like any of that. This is the bit I like.

I was going to say, where is the shining light? It goes to a shot of David Spade's son who is in the quarry, which is filled with water, on a lilo, lying there. Wearing sunglasses. Wearing sunglasses, so relaxed. The camera slow pans to him. He just puts his thumb in the air and goes, summertime. Yeah, no, that is certainly a shining light moment.

Oh, I want to... I'm in a good mood. Just from you describing that horrible scene, I'm in a better mood. But just that one shot, that one bit. Summertime. Right down the barrel. Yeah, man. Right down the barrel of the camera.

David Spade's son approved. That's good. I like this segment. My shining light moment today, and it's something i meant to talk about last week but forgot was uh the gym teacher it was a very brief cameo by a gym teacher in a gym and he he throws a ball at a kid and the kid like he goes he goes we know the names yeah we're learning them he throws a ball at this kid bumpdy who's a bit gooberish. And he goes, can you think fast? And he falls over.

The ball hits him and he falls off to the seat. And then the gym teacher goes, who wants to watch me climb a rope? And just walks up to a rope in these tiny short shorts and starts climbing. And the delivery is just bang on for mind. It's right up there with... What's his name? John Lovitz. Thank you.

Hey, you got the name right this time. Progress. Mate, I spent the whole week reciting it in my head. Lovitz, Lovitz, Lovitz. You also downloaded the final song in the movie, which runs into the credits at the end of the party. I was getting my songs. I shazammed it last week, which I completely forgot.

That's so terrible because this suggests to me that you're spending time related to the movie outside of it. No, it was an accident. I was downloading other songs which I actually wanted to listen to, and I shazammed it because I wanted to know its name. And I found out its name. It's by a band called REO Speedwagon. It was recorded in 1991, and the song is ironically, I think, called Live Every Moment. So it's encouraging you to go out there and live every moment.

And the idea that this song taunts us at the end of 101 minutes of watching this fucking movie week after week, I love that. That's a warning that the person who was in charge of the music for this film has put in. They're going, really sorry about the movie, guys. Don't fuck up again because time is precious and life is a wonderful thing

and you need to live in a place where that doesn't... Life is a fleeting moment. You need to not see movies like this anymore. In the blink of an eye, it's gone. We also received a suggestion

for the... And I mean, I'd love to just gauge public reaction to this. For the 25th episode of the podcast, Paul Amos, long-time listener. Shout out to Paul. He's been a big supporter since day one.

Never time caller, suggested we do a screening, a public screening and record. And I would like to bring this up with you, Tim. I would be more than happy to do that. I think we need something to look forward to, some light at the end of the tunnel. And I think the irony, of course, would be that it will wind up being just us

in a larger, empty room with seats that we've laid out for people. But even that will at least provide an interesting wrinkle or change of pace. Yes. I mean, what... Yeah, I'd be pro that. What were you...

About 25. That's so long away. But it does need to be something kind of away in the future. It's not that long away. It's only 22 more weeks. So what I need from you now... It's 22 more watches. It's like half a year.

It's like just half a year away. Just half a year away from growing up too, mate. I think what I'm interested in is your mental state from the outset, from my arrival at your house bright and early with half an almond croissant to share, through the movie, all the way to the end, the merciful end. What was in that croissant?

The filling. Yeah. They used some sort of almond or nut butter. Because it was... It's a bit... Down the road from here at the, what's it called, like the little bakery or something the one

you've got to go like down and around the corner down Richmond Road and they do a cabernet sausage roll which is off the chain and what really makes it is the chutney

they put this like just not a huge amount but a little bit of chutney in the sausage roll itself inside it and the croissant had the butter equivalent of that chutney

it was like the sweet version even though chutney can be sweet you'd hope so it's a big croissant they serve butter equivalent of that chutney. It was like the sweet version. Yeah, I mean. Even though chutney can be sweet. You'd hope so. It's a big croissant they serve you, but I'm paying $5.50 for that. Fuck. That's a lot for a croissant. But worth it, man.

Almond or otherwise, that's a lot for a croissant. Thank you for giving me half of that. That was really nice of you. Oh, look, I thought it would be a nice little pick-me-up for both of us. Totally. So anyway, mental state from the arrival of myself, the receiving of the croissant, through to the credits, even now. Yeah, okay. I had a few technical issues this morning trying to set up the microphone.

Yeah, you were stressed and frazzled when I arrived. I was grumpy, man. I was on a grump, a right old grump. Saw the movie, put me in a worse mood, and then got a coffee. But can you tell me a little bit about the journey through the movie for you today, the mental journey that Tim Batt went on during Grown Ups 2 today? Film opens, and the first thing that I realise is I've forgotten about the moose, which is at the start.

And as the film progresses progresses this happens to me a few times where i realize um there's there's a couple of things that are happening number one is my emotional state's getting number each time so the first time i saw it i was like felt really passionately about how bad the movie was the second time last fall, so it allowed me to enjoy moments within the film. This week, terrifyingly, I kind of felt nothing for most of it, but in the worst way possible. Not nothing in the sense that it was neutral,

but nothing in the sense that it's like I can't feel feelings because this film is on. So I guess there was anger at the start, a bit of grumpiness. You came, and that was nice to see your shining face here. Movie started, and then I was kind of confused that I'd forgotten the moose bit, because I've seen this movie twice in as many weeks. But it just, it makes, the moose thing makes no sense.

It doesn't make any sense, Guy, and it doesn't come back. Your voice is getting louder well i've had a little bit of coffee and i'm away from the grips of the film it's like staring into me being turned to stone this is making you an angry man i'm thinking we should probably do screenings in the evening so that it doesn't you know make us weird no because then i'll know that it's coming up and i'll be reading it for the whole day i actually think the morning's when we need to do it get it it out of the way. Exactly. It's like ripping off a band-aid watching this movie.

And so for various points in the film, this kept happening where I was like, I forgot this bit was in it, I forgot this bit was in it. Because nothing links to anything else. Nothing fucking resolves. See, this is why I wanted to know about your mental state. Because it sounds to me like you're approaching sort of emotional fragility.

And you're a pretty well put together guy together guy you got your head screwed on right um i noticed that you've rolled up the sleeves on your t-shirt so it looks like a sort of white trash singlet right now i'm trying to call off i'm so worked up i'm trying to do anything to kind of reduce my temperature uh thanks maybe maybe next week we'll drink a chamomile tea halfway through the movie just so that it keeps you chilled although I can hardly speak I did let out one scream of frustration at the three quarter mark of the film

Guy just bellows just one big scream just a big scream that really reverberated all around the house yeah because you were at your wits end, mate. You'd had enough. Well, I did.

My little boy was all tuckered out of the movie. I spent quite a bit of the movie sort of turning away and prepping my body on the couch as if I was about to have a nap. And then I'd turn back because I'm not... You know, I do think that with time, it will be totally part of the movie watching experience will be us having a little nap having a sleep

just letting the movie kind of wash over us oh yeah I think we should it will be like that I like to have a nap when the test cricket's on in the background

but we should stay awake I think we should commit to staying awake while the movie's playing we'll try all I'm saying is if you do fall asleep during one viewing

yeah yeah i'm totally fine with that it's true i don't want to put too many parameters i think we've got enough parameters and i think even just putting aside the time each week is is commitment enough guy tell me about your mental state tell me about your emotional uh well being well i woke up and i told my flatmate i was going to watch grown-ups 2 at your house and he said what a shit way to start the week and i smiled and said all right cheerio and i and i came here and i was sort of just indifferent sort of like still waking up i guess sure early on it's. And then the movie started.

And I spoke about this last week. I think it's going to be the same thing. It's like it's just something I've got to get through on a one-day-a-week basis now. So I'm just looking out for check marks for those moments when I go, all right, that means this is coming. It's not that far. Towards the end of the movie, I said, you know, this is okay because now we've just got to go

to the party and that's only the length of one episode of something you don't like and that's your exact words i think you said um don't worry there's only the amount of time of one shit tv show left yeah exactly and that i mean how you know that's a digestible amount of time for something that you don't like such an appropriate measure you know it's like at the end of at the end of growing up so we just watch an episode of the big bang theory or something and that's that's fine i i mean i i do you have marker points within the film that you kind of go oh god but at least this is like the dinner the dinner party scene when it's cut or when it's cutting between the dinner,

when the family's having dinner. Oh, yeah. So that's like, for me, that's like, that's the home stretch. That's weird. That's the final market. No, but see, fucking, you think that, because the movie kind of sets it up, because that's the end of the day. No, but I know that there's a lot. But then there's so much movie left.

Yeah, there's so many wrinkles in the party scene, but it's the party scene in my brain, and don't ruin this for me, because this makes it easier to get through. It's just one party just got to get through one party then you know then we've just got to get through one conversation and then the rest of the week is my oyster tim yeah that's true that's a yeah no you're right you're right about that so once you get to the dinner scene where chris rock uh crumples his plasticky cup full of pepsi cup um you know that things are things are looking up yeah there's light at the end of this so Chris Rock crumples his plasticky cup full of Pepsi. You know that things are looking up.

Yeah. There's light at the end of this whole tunnel. So to respond to your question about the emotional state, I mean, largely just sort of okay. Just sort of like, you know, I guess it's sort of, it is almost a job. I think we've got to look after each other a little bit. That's why I do things like the almond croissant.

Yeah, and there are important rituals that we need to bring into the fold here. There's a concept in mental health known as self-care where you've got to check yourself before you wreck yourself, basically. You've got to make sure that you're okay. You've got to set yourself up with some nice rewards and stuff if you're going through a hard time and some goals i think you and i need to be really a big support for each other through this i missed a lot of that because when you said check yourself because you wreck yourself yeah it made me sort of think it's somewhat surprising that ice cube didn't crop up in this movie i would not have batted an eyelid if i saw it

absolutely not and what i'm looking forward to is you you know, maybe Kevin Hart for him as an extra at the party scene, you know, some sort of periphery character that we maybe just haven't seen yet. Yeah, they don't have any... They should have really waited for the reveal of Stone Cold Steve Austin at that point. But you see... Oh, wait.

Yeah, you see him in the supermarket. You don't see him in the supermarket. You see him at the ballet recital. Yes, you do. That's right. Isn't it funny, though, that now, after three weeks, after one week being like, there are so many cameos in it, this movie is loaded.

You can fit more cameos in there. You literally looked at the cast list on IMDb. There's 158 listed cast members on this movie. That's not a film. That is a tax dodge. There's a lot of movie. That's not a film. That is a tax dodge. There's a lot of characters. That's too many. They get into a great rhythm in this film,

and I think I mentioned this last week, when a scene's not working, throw more characters at it, and then cross-dissolve, fade out. And then if it's still not working, just end it. Walk away. What else are you doing this week, Tim? Hey, I don't know, man.

Fuck, who knows? Probably do some stand-up comedy at some point. Oh, yeah, can we shout out some stuff? Yeah, if anyone's still listening and they're not entirely sick of us, go for it. Yeah, no, maybe I won't, actually. Yeah, no, I'll leave it. maybe i won't actually yeah no i'll leave it you'll leave it yeah i'll leave it okay i just want to do a tease for next week's podcast though because there's something which i want to pick up on that we haven't delved into okay uh and i

wait i'm gonna do the tease first no you should do the tease at the end oh i guess okay i was just gonna say no actually i don't i don't i don't want anyone to come to any of my stuff either. No, come on. What have you got on? Come on. I was just going to say, come on. Got another episode of the TV show? Yeah, we're not too worried about that.

If you're in Auckland this coming Friday, the something of March, come along to Snort Comedy. It's a great time. Oh, yeah. We should, you know what, we'll date this less. Let's just talk about Snort Briefly generally, in general terms. No, because it's the podcast that we're running out of time. I know, but let me say this. It's a good thing, and it's on every Friday, so you should check it out.

Hopefully it will run at least the length of however long we're doing this podcast for. Here's the tease for next week's podcast, folks, on the worst idea of all time. There is a catchphrase in this film which they try to get off the ground so desperately. The catchphrase is, What? We're going to talk about that in a little more depth on next week's episode, which will be our fourth watch of Grown Ups 2,

the eight-time Razzie-nominated film, which you hate as much as we do, even if you haven't seen it. Yeah, if anyone does watch um oh and don't watch the movie don't watch the movie do not watch the movie although i'm going to say if you do watch the movie if you have seen the movie what might be fun write a review send it in to us on twitter we can we can discuss other people 140 character review what are you going to fit in that we'll send smiley to fit in that send us a link

send it on Facebook send an email but you know I'm just saying yeah we're around get in touch look guys what are you doing what are you doing we're making this thing but what are you doing you're listening to it

can we go now see you next week guys All the best, take care, lots of love This is Tim Batts saying bye I'm not even saying my name Guy Montgomery also saying bye Shut up Tim The worst idea of all time

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