The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Three - Maximum Joseph

Episode Date: May 16, 2016

SPONSORED BY BIGPIPE.CO.NZThird watch of the film and the boys' enthusiasm is palpably slowing. Gone are the confident calls of 'Citizen Kane of our generation' and in their place is questioning commentary. Questions about whether Zacole is really the hero we thought OR instead, a homophobic punchy man. Jarhead gets some much deserved spotlight in this ep as does one other quarter of the boys' quadrant, Johnny Depp. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

🎵 Jesus fucking Christ, that's confronting. Has he got a hard ending on that one? A real hard ending. And they make you work for it. Absolutely. Congratulations to anyone still listening. Welcome along. Christopher Brown, thank you so much for making that for us.

The wee hardworking lads of the worst idea of all time. Brought to you this week by Big Pipe. Bigpipe.co.nz. It only exists in New Zealand. Yep. We've got the biggest pipes here in New Zealand America, you guys have always prided yourselves on your pipe making Well guess what

I mean we've got a new formula down here and we're breeding them big and BigPipe, when you're looking for a BigPipe, well there's only one place to look Tim. I should probably mention what the what the sponsor does and that is they... Fill the pipes with wireless internet.

Yes. Wired. Well, then it becomes wireless. Yeah. Fucking check that out, New Zealand. Think about that for a second. Very fast, very cheap, very excellent internet with no contracts and no caps on your data

and no throttling. That's right. No pesky, pesky aggressive. It's a different tone when you say it like that. Throttling. No, it always comes across the same to me. But we don't worry about it. Listen to this.

Throttling. That's fine. I think I'm okay with the word in the context of BigPipe because there's no threat of throttling ever happening. That's true. BigPipe.co.nz. And if you sign up, make sure you use the code WORST. That's the best. So we've just watched the movie for the third time.

Just let it slip, right? Just let that one fly right under the radar. The movie took a little turn for me today, and I think I've had a little taste of what's to come because watch one is always going to be met. I wouldn't say universally, universally with elation, but whenever you've seen a movie 52 times and then you see a movie once you're like this shit rules.

Yeah. It's pretty straight up and down formula there. And then the second time we watched it, we were very excitable. We had a full head of steam. I think that came across quite accurately. And now all the auspices of those first two watches have been removed.

It's back to the old standard. Sitting on a couch with your old mate Monty, just hoping that something different will happen in a movie uh the plot of which we're becoming intimately familiar with yeah it did move slower but there was still some good stuff definitely definitely there's some exciting well first of all during the watch this today zach everyone keeps saving money in a shoebox. He keeps putting his money in the shoebox. And the first time he did it in the movie tonight,

I realized and said to him, you know, we never see what he does with this money in a shoebox. It doesn't make any sense. And then about halfway through the movie, Tim turned to me and said, a shoebox is a terrible place to save money. So if there's a house fire that's all gone yeah and then we kept watching and we're sort of like ah well another week without finding out

what's going on with the shoebox but if you stick around for the from through the first bracket of the closing credits it's a tanya romero's house of course you guys know Tanya Romero, right? The character whose house is being foreclosed on by the bank until Paige, the hustler man, comes in. Paige is a bad dude. He doesn't... Paige isn't that bad. He's in over his head. He's a capitalist.

He's guessing a lot of the time. Yeah, but he believes in the free market. He read... And then it will steer him correctly. He read the Wikipedia page for the free market. And then it will steer him correctly. He read the Wikipedia page for the fountainhead. And then the foreword for the art of the deal by Donald Trump. And he got a head full of steam. And based on that, he started a whole empire. He calls it an empire.

It's actually a surprisingly depressing office block with just this open plan situation with depressed people and headsets. It's quite interesting because the movie uses a device that when you go into his office, you see it through his eyes. And so you kind of get the delusions of grandeur. Whereas, I mean, we, you know,

we, yeah. You reckon? You feel like that's them sexing up his office? Yeah. Because it looks fucking depressing to me's them sexing up his office? Yeah. Because it looks fucking depressing to me as is presented. Oh, mate, it's so much worse. Really? Yeah.

Jesus. If that's the glorified version of it, the real version must be like full on crack. It's just a guy in a garage with a baseball just bouncing it around the different corners of the room. Wearing a very, very outdated USB headset connected to a Pentium 2. Kind of like Christian Bale in the big...

Is that what Christian Bale's like in the big short? No. Visually, yeah, what you're describing's there, but he's more of like a genius who just dresses all rumpty. Makes a real point of it. I don't know about this one. This movie's still fine, but it's quite incredible. I didn't appreciate how quickly the descent would start,

and it makes me a little bit nervous because the first bit of this movie is real good. A lot of movement, a lot of music. Yeah. Don't shake your head at me. Yeah, no, it is good. It carries you along and then it's about the,

it's probably just shy of the 20 minute mark, I reckon it happened and I looked at you and I went, oh, things are definitely slowing down versus the last couple of weeks. That's for sure. Yeah. It's still pretty efficient storytelling like it's all cool time everyone's having a cool time you're having a cool time for

an hour and then for an hour i wasn't having a cool time for an hour today yeah i'm talking about the boys in the movie though they're having a cool time the first hour they're having a cool time and fuck boys on the fuck when those guys are having a cool time it's pretty easy to buy into it and be like yeah the other thing is what i thought is uh i don't know we should i guess it doesn't really matter what we do but we should be judging this movie purely on its own merits rather than against sex in the city 2 and grown-ups 2 but why it's so much easier and faster i think is because there's think, is because there's an actual objective. Yeah, that's true.

We're moving towards something. Yeah, and so you're like, oh, yeah. Which seems ridiculous to say out loud about a movie until you've had to watch Sex and the City 2 and Grown Ups 2 52 times apiece, and you forget that films are supposed to have a point. Yeah, and they're kind of like, they're actually after something. They're like young and hungry instead of being middle-aged and loaded.

Yeah. And so that means that, yeah, you're watching a sort of story unfold. It's not that good though. It's not the worst. It's not the best. Would you describe it as the Citizen Kane of our generation?

In the full sober light of day, I would actually revisit that commentary. I would revisit that review. It doesn't sound like Tim Bat to backtrack. They don't call you Back Bat. No, and that's why

i am just announcing that i would i would revisit those comments i would revisit them how would you travel towards them would you travel forwards or would you be traveling backwards i would travel forwards toward them analyze them and there's a pretty good chance the direction that i seek after that would be in the reverse of fords i would say you're speaking like a politician yeah for good cause because i don't want no one wants to eat their own words man you know it's it's like it's like squirrel said in the movie are we ever going to be better than this do you know how you get better by never growing as a human never accepting what you did in the past was a bad thing because then that means you are imperfect and that's not the way page has run his business that is not the way zikoli pastor is marketed

and that is not the direction that this podcast will be taking under my stewardship thank you very much i think it's wonderful to see the movie taking such hold of you and having such influence over you so quickly. It's because I'm just seeing some fuckboys on the big screen and we had some nice big speakers that we watched the movie with this time. Headphones was a good choice. Good speakers are also a good choice. I think this movie would not work whatsoever

if you were watching it with subpar sound. Yeah. Would you agree with that? I think the sound does a lot of heavy lifting. Absolutely. I think the idea of someone watching this movie on their phone is very funny. It's very funny to me that someone would watch this entire movie on their phone.

Just with the little Ford blasting speaker. Yeah, that'd be good. It wouldn't work, man. We should watch it on a phone we'll just put the little blasting speaker yeah yeah that'd be good it wouldn't work man we should watch what movies would we should watch it on a phone yeah all right i guess just between us one fucking yeah someone's just holding for an hour and a half ideally in transit oh i don't know about that one yeah i guess we'll yeah all right we'll do that let's not do that too early though we want to let ourselves marinate within uh what we're dealing with first a little bit in the we are your friends stew yeah yeah this is something very friendly about the film you know everyone's looking out for each other except johnny depp i don't trust that guy he's a fucking snake he's all good so there guys, there's four fuckboys in this movie.

One of them dies. That guy's Skrill. One of them's a hothead. His name is Jarhead. One of them looks like Johnny Depp, and his name is Johnny Depp. Yeah. And he's fine.

He sells drugs as his main pitfall. But aside from that, he doesn't really have any motive. He just wants to make money. He's wearing a weird hat most of the film. I don't like his costume choices. I think they're communicating a dark underbelly. No, he's a snake. He wants to be an actor.

And he's not a snake. He just likes hats. I think it's probably a confidence thing. Wear a big hat. It could be a good conversation starter for him he doesn't seem like the kind of guy who needs that well yeah that's but that's because the hat's doing a lot of heavy lifting you think the hat's fulfilling its purpose so well that it sort of becomes it's like when someone does such a good job that you no longer

notice them yeah and their work that's like the hat. But I've noticed the hat, so it's clearly not doing that. You didn't notice it, though. No, I didn't notice it at all. I noticed it big time. It's a bad hat, and he's a bad guy. Why is he a bad guy? What does he do? Because he's got a goatee,

and when you've got a goatee in the movies, it means you're Satan. That's like the messaging. No, that's all wrong. You've got a goatee. This isn't a goatee. You've had a goatee. Only by accident, though. And I certainly wouldn't do it going into a motion picture.

You're in the motion picture of your life every day, Tim. And you had a goatee. His one was groomed, though. Yours was immaculately groomed. It was not. Now you're making it up. It was like a billy goat scruff, more than a goatee. But it was, you know, I'm not saying I liked it.

I'm not saying it was the devil's work, but that's what you're saying. When you see it on film, that's what a filmmaker, that's what Max Joseph is trying to tell us. Max Joseph is going, guess what, everybody? I'm the most Joseph one can be, and I'm here to tell you the devil's in this film. And his name is Johnny Depp. Nah, man.

Goatees are they're regular stuff. Think of a movie where there's a goatee in it, where the guy isn't a depiction of evil. I can't think of many goatees. Yeah, neither can I, actually. What's that movie with Brendan Fraser and Elizabeth Hurley where she plays the devil?

Bedazzled. Yeah, I wanted to say Bedazzled. Is that right? Nah. She grants wishes and things. Yeah, yeah. It was originally a Peter Cook movie. Was it?

Yeah. Who played the devil? Was it a sexy woman or was it Dudley Moore? I can't remember. Food for thought. Food for thought there. If you've got a hungry brain,

we've got food. Imagine if We Are Your Friends was a reboot that we hadn't figured out yet. Imagine living in a time when there will be a reboot of We Are Your Friends. That's what I'm looking forward to.

Like a futuristic zone. it's a bit because if you tried to like it doesn't fucking work have you thought of what it would be a reboot if it's a reboot in 2015 so let's give it at least 30 years back which 1985. No. 1986. No, no, no. It is. It's 1985. Yeah, 2015, 1985. So that would be like four fuckboys who are in a rock band. It would be a. It would be like Whitesnake or something.

Yeah, or they could be. They'd be in a glam rock band. They'd be mucking around with synthesizers. 85. Yeah Yeah I guess Nah Cause I reckon In 2015 The like

EDM DJ Fuckboys Were the Glam rock Superstars Of the day You know That's the equivalence

The synths In 85 Rather the hangers on From the 70s Where the pioneers Were like This is the new shit And they held on For too long Before it became cool again They were in the In between swing rather the hangers-on from the 70s where the pioneers were like, this is the new shit,

and they held on for too long before it became cool again. They were in the in-between swing of the pendulum. You know what I'm saying? Do you understand what I'm saying? You don't think that synthesizers were making a big impression musically in 1985? You weren't a cool person if you were using them. Let me put it that way.

Case in point, Peter Gabriel. He was rocking the synth in 1985 probably earlier actually so he's probably did he do salisbury hill oh i couldn't tell you was that his big song couldn't tell you quite possibly i can't sing right now i can usually sing brilliantly obviously i was gonna say you do normally have a golden voice of an angel but it's a real shame that um the last couple of weeks have just wreaked absolute havoc with that. That singing voice that we all know and love.

We all love it when I sing. I don't even know what that was. It's an original. It's a Guy Montgomery original. My shining light in the film this week, speaking of music, was when the four fuckboys gather around their newly minted pool and their brand new apartment that they've moved into and uh they sing santeria by sublime and they sing the bit this is how i know it was an ad lib that everybody knows and then immediately they have to kind of cut the the bit short as soon as they start entering into a verse you think the cast was singing

santeria as an improvised offer for camera or just 100 it's so i reckon max joseph maximum joseph was like i want you boys having fun i come from a catfishy background i know uh what's what i'm looking? Like genuineness, authenticity on screen when I see it. I need you guys to start mucking around and we're going to roll these cameras for 12 hours and get the best bit from it. That's a huge, huge ask from a director to say,

I need you to muck around in the spa pool for 12 hours for one grab and then to pick out from 12 hours of ad libs just people singing santaria and a spypool is like a hilarious jape to play on the entire cast i'm told this is a classic maximum joseph how it's happened as well as maximum joseph is so used to making a tv show with no budget where it's like him and him and his buddy are the camera people in the original Catfish I haven't seen Catfish Catfish the movie is good I haven't I have only watched it once it was a long time ago but I remember it being like it's interesting

and kind of quite sinister there's kind of like quite a sinister sort of undertone to the thing because it's all about people on the internet pretending to be people they're not but then the TV series is a lot lighter and weird. And now Maximum Joseph has gone, I've got funding. I've got executive producers. I've got a big dick slinging publicity department behind me. I've got money to burn. I've got two extra syllables on my name.

I've just changed it from Max to Maximum. I've ascended. This is my final form. And what that means is that I need to make a movie the opposite of how we did last time, which is just fucking grab everything on the fly and everything we film goes in. We're doing the opposite. We're going to shoot these guys for 12 hours,

grab seven seconds of them singing a sublime song, and that's going to make the cut out of a 12-hour shoot. It sounds ridiculous, but I mean you can't argue with results. And I have it on good record that my friend, Tim Batt, has once described the film we are watching as the Citizen Kane of our generation.

Just so we're all on the same page. Hitherto for, I will be known as Maximum Batt. An honor. Yes, an homage. I will be known as Maximum Bat. In honour. Yes, in homage. To Maximum Joseph. I think I used hitherto for incorrectly. From here on in. Henceforth.

From henceforth, that works. I shall be known as Maximum Bat. From now on. Right now. Right now. Starting now. Starting today Maximum bet

Effective immediately That's another one you can say To whom it may concern To whom it may concern Effective immediately To whom it may concern Is like a preamble My

Shining light Please Was a very interesting decision uh by the movie makers or like it was just really stuck out tonight uh when they're at the stanford party uh there's a coley pastor promotional spokesperson zach efron is there with Sophie, the character Sophie, who's the female lead. Also, she's the only female role. The sole female. She is maximum Sophie or maximum female,

whichever one you like best. Both. And so they're at the party and Zac Efron, he overhears two people at the party like talking shit about Sophie being like, oh, yeah, she went to college in Stanford and everyone saw her boobs. And I didn't see her boobs and I'm real gutted. And Zac Efron's like, that is fucking horse shit. You cannot talk about Sophie in that way.

You can't talk about anyone in that way. So he's like, I i'm gonna sort it out and he rocks up to them he's like hey when you jerk each other off is it like a um you do one and the other he says when you jerk each other off is it a simultaneous oh yeah sorry do you take turns or is it a simultaneous kind of a deal yeah and then which is like a pretty fucking homophobic joke to wade in with because they he's the script writers you are yeah exactly so coley has the higher moral ground and immediately seeds the ground and one foul so he rocks him with this piping hot homophobic joke the boys do not react at all

they're like well we might be misogynistic pig dogs but we've got a real sense of right and wrong when it comes to sexuality and the fact that it's a spectrum and it's not there's nothing to be made fun of here and then so they don't laugh at all is that everyone's like what you don't like my homophobic fucking jokes and just punches one of them square in the fucking face and then it just

cuts to like afterwards and he's like being treated like a hero yeah by Sophie yeah

they have they've got the whole thing going on they really like each other they do it's a whole to do enjoyable chemistry

it's the kind of thing you see on screen very rarely not saying once in a generation not since you could say kate winslet and leonardo dicaprio getting trapped on a boat have i seen such chemistry not since leonardo dicaprio and claire Danes getting caught in a modernized version of Verona. Have I seen such chemistry? Not since... I don't think I know any other Leonardo DiCaprio films with enough detail.

Nope, none. Gone. Inception? Who's he in love with there? Alan Page? I don't think so. Haven't seen him for a while. with there? Alan Page?

I don't think so. Haven't seen him for a while. No, he's in love with a French woman, isn't he? Yeah, there is. Yeah, I think you're right. But he's so... There's definitely a love interest. It's so confusing. Because he's always mucking...

He's always in all these other people... He's in all these dreams. Here's the bloody thing about that. Chris Nolan, he went and made a film where people are asleep for half of it. I mean, how am I supposed to be on board with that? Yeah, well, I'll tell you what, he fucking picked the right audience here. I was asleep for half of it. Couldn't make heads or tails of it.

It was absolutely... I woke up, I was in a dream, I wasn't in a dream, I was in a dream of a dream, and then I fell back asleep and suddenly I'm dreaming about the bloody film. Absolute bloody nonsense. Just too hard to follow. Too hard to follow. Here's something I had issue with

in We Are Your Friends tonight. Yeah. When the friends are all hanging out towards the start of the film, they still live in the valley. They love in the valley, by the way. They think it's the best. They keep going on about the sushi.

No one's challenging whether or not the sushi in the valley is good or bad. But they are like real defensive about it. I think it's quite unhealthy. They treat the sushi in the valley like a sports team. That's how boorish and bullheaded they are in their fandom of it. Jahid chucks a dude in a swimming pool in the middle of a party

that's going absolutely fine simply for questioning whether or not the sushi in the San Fernando Valley is the best in the Western Hemisphere. He doesn't even question it jahid's like he's he's just sitting listening to two people have a conversation about like eating sushi and then he leans in from outside of the conversation he's like yo the best sushi san bernardino in the valley of san fernando whatever and then the guy's like well i don't think this lady looks like she uh eats in the valley and he's like dude the sushi in the valley is the best sushi in the western hemisphere and the guy rightfully he's like no one gives a fuck so he's

like i don't remember what he says something it's not very inflammatory have a sense of humor something that's fine yeah he says something and then it's fine yeah and then inflammatory. Have a sense of humor. Something that's fine. Yeah, he says something, and then it's fine. Yeah, and then he says, have a sense of humor. And then he says, oh, I've got a sense of humor, bro. He's like, here's one. You dress like Hillary Clinton, and then throws him in the pool. Yeah. That's seriously what happens.

It's a weird bit, man. It's a nice little bit of grown-ups too that's filtered into this movie in some ways because it's just an escalation without any reason. He's a psychopath. Yeah. He's a lot of fucking... Okay, I said this to a guy quite early on in the film this time.

I suspect that there is a version, there's a cut, there's an edit of We Are Your Friends, which is twice as long as the version we're watching because there's a lot of threads that are pulled at at some point in the movie and never returned to or addressed the first one is whose dad is it jahid's dad yeah because i think the thing is that Cole, this is another one. Cole knows that his mum is a piano teacher or was, and then is asked by James, who's the DJ man, is she still a piano teacher?

And he's like, maybe. Like, I don't know. She could be, I think is what he says. His answer says, she's out there somewhere probably and i don't know yeah so he was around his mom enough to know that she's a piano teacher so like what the fuck happened and it's never answered it's not referenced it's just sort of an allusion to the fact he's had a slightly sad life which is kind of fine by itself i dig a little bit of mystery that's just characterization you have to wrap up every single thing but there's there's lots of

these moments cole's dad comes in and they set him up to kind of start being a dick he's really the way it's like shot and scripted it's like oh this is this is a bad fucking dude but all he's actually asking them to do is some chores which he asked them to do yesterday and they didn't do because they're freeloading and then he's never referenced again he never comes back and don't you agree that he's just the way that they sort of present him is that he's like an abusive parent because i'm always well they shoot it because they shoot uh jahid who's like asleep on the bed and it's like- He's in focus. He's in front of frame, and then in the background,

the dad walks in, sort of like it's a hidden camera show, like Target or something, where they're filming tradespeople secretly going through the undie drawers or whatever in a bedroom. So he sort of comes in the background of frame and is slowly out of focus,

and he's like, bloody- Do the roof. Do the fucking leaves, yeah. He's like, put. Do the fucking leaves. He's like, put the fucking roof on the house. I've asked you for two years. We haven't had a roof for two years. You're living under this roof and you're not even doing it.

It's crazy stuff. Well, the reason they took the roof off is because he's like, if you're living under my roof, you obey my rules. And they're like, oh, yeah, old man. Technicality. You want to fuck around with Jarhead and Ziccoli? And they took the whole goddamn roof off the thing. Check mate.

Yeah, it's a pretty good game. Mr. Jarhead, dad. So, yeah, so he never reappears. And it's just like, fuck man. One of the first things Jarhead says in the movie. What's going on with all the parents in this goddamn movie universe? Something's happened to them. It's fucked up.

It's like if you have kids, you just become real mysterious and no one quite knows what's going on with you. Which maybe is in the same way as like with the Peanuts cartoons when an adult's talking, it's just that wah, wah, wah. And it's kind of like Rugrats,

how kids have their own language and shit. It's like the interpretation of a millennial, according to this film, is someone whose parents exist as a loose concept but if they're not in the room it's there's like this object permanence to them where they just they just got like parents are shitty and we want to block them out yeah they intrude every now and then into our lives but apart from that fuck all of them all of them are just floating in purgatory like swimming to us against a slight current towards a door where they can enter into the frame of their children's lives and be like hey this it's like oh a ghoul

exit get out of here and um i guess that speaks to this film's audience or their kind of... Maximum Joseph. This is what... Maximum Joseph is a guy who I suspect is a lot older than the media knows about. He's the kind of guy I reckon who's like... He's got three different ages on his Wikipedia page. Yeah, he's 40... Yeah, there's a question mark next to his date of birth.

He's actually about 45, but he's, he's told everyone for the last eight years that he's 36. And he's playing this game. There was a basketball player at a high school in New York city recently. Who I think I saw. He was, uh, he was playing for like an under 18 or under 17 grade.

Yeah. Uh, everyone was like, Oh wow. This guy's like good. He could, he could be in the NBA. He's this grade. Everyone was like, oh, wow, this guy's like good. He could be in the NBA. He's this good. And he was, I think he'd emigrated from an African country. Yeah.

And then someone brought up his papers and it was like, hey, man, you're 27. 27. Yeah. He's like 6'11". He's usually like, what are you doing? You can't be here. This is high school.

27. But the thing is, because in immigrating, he lost his date of birth or whatever. So I don't think he's got any idea. You don't think he knows? Come on, guy. I know that you're a very trusting lovely man who assumes the best of people but i'm pretty sure this guy took the high school for a ride i don't think he

genuinely forgot about a decade of his own life and woke up thought he was 17 and joined an under 18 basketball squad the fuck man That's not what happens. I'm sure this very nice used car salesman wasn't aware there wasn't an engine in this vehicle when he dropped it off at my house. There's nothing wrong with seeing the best in people. There is when you constantly get burned like you do, guy. I'm sick of seeing

it. You wear your heart on your sleeve and every time someone sneezes on it, it gives it heart disease what i was gonna say is i've got two things i've been trying to say but i keep forgetting about one of them is so uh aside from the sushi stuff in the valley when they're in the valley and they're talking about getting out of the valley like that's one of the goals of the movie yeah they want to improve their quality of life they, the valley is a metaphor. Yeah. For? Like a valley in your life.

Like a low point. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and they want to live in the mountains. They're all trying to move to Colorado. Anyway, so when they're looking at properties, sorry, I've got this really annoying sort of ticklish cough at the back of my throat. It's phlegm. You call it what it is.

It's mucus. You're a sick boy. I'm not'm healthy it's biology uh they're looking at properties to rent in la when they're like we're gonna make it big we're gonna get into la and they're looking in this restaurant like genuinely looking for the property that they're gonna live in these four millennial friends who are all up to speed with how everything works they're looking at a fucking magazine what in fuck's name are you doing like waiting till 2am and then looking for property in a magazine you found in a like late night greasy spoon you had your goddamn mind that's like who these guys are that's who they are they're the kind of dudes who rock the fucking house and they're not quite sure how to approach, you know, the next phase in their life, which is property investment,

or even just obtaining a rental. You're just renting. This is a universe, mate. This is a universe where as soon as you give birth to a child, or like enter parenthood, you kind of disappear a lot. Like, you're only 20% of what you used to be as soon as you have a kid which is in some circles is the opposite of how it works here do you think that our heroes will learn uh this what of what happens as a parent like do you think that they'll figure

it out and therefore i think they know so they'll be the one of the last waves of yeah and humanity you look at the stats, man. We're all having kids way later than ever before. You think they'll still have kids? With the knowledge that they'll start drifting further and further away from... Yeah, I think way less will. I think you're right about that. I know that that's the assertion you're putting forward,

and I'm just saying, yeah, you just need to chill out with your assertions, guy. I'm not saying that we're going to all end up not having kids, and I would appreciate it if you stopped bringing race into the conversation as well, because that's not even relevant. So many assertions you're just throwing out. It's crazy. I can't follow the conversational thread you're laying down. I'm attempting a stitch-up.

I don't think it worked. it works not come off right it's not come i apologize for that i apologize for not playing my part in being stitched up all you needed to do was just get on board and take the fall man you couldn't even do that do you know who you remind me of page no your hubris will destroy you in the end absolutely not i'm nothing like who are you out of these fuck boys this i'm quadrant zach efron you're not i'm always i am zach efron zach efron you're carry bradshaw you're carry okay i'm fucking lenny fader god you're claiming Lenny with a big, loud, happy voice, which is a sad entitlement on you and your interpretation of that character.

Yeah, I'm misremembering it. What I'm saying is I... You're the mediocre star of your own movie. Yes, absolutely. Zac Efron's good, though. You love Zac. You said he was very funny. Oh, he is.

I stand by that he is. He's a talent. He's a good dude. And that's said he was very funny oh he is i stand by that he is he's a talent he's a good dude and that's been a rare thing as well i guess sarah jessica parker was good too but the movie wasn't really about her but this movie really is about zicoli it really focuses in on that's true there might be another reason we find it more satisfying yeah because because the tv show sex in the city 2 had to just sort of vaguely maintain the notion that all four of the people were interesting when none of them were interesting that's true but this movie's like hey there's one person who could be interesting yeah and we're really going to find out and because they did film it remember part of it is filmed as a documentary about zack efron's genuine desire to become an electronic music dj in

Zac Efron's genuine desire to become an electronic music DJ in Los Angeles. What are you talking about? Part of it is a documentary. You brought this up last week, I believe. Hey, look, my memory's a little hazy of our last discussion of this film. There's a doco buried into the film? Or the whole there's a doco buried into the film or the whole thing's a doco uh there's documentary footage spliced into the movie right wherein zach efron didn't know he was acting which is why his portrayal is so convincing that's unreal i get the feeling this is going to be

one of those situations where i listen back to the podcast episode episode two, I'm going to go, oh, this was an idea I had. And it is as foreign to me as any I've never heard before. That's what happens when you've got a full head of steam and you come into a situation. Do you find it to be a plausible theory? I do. Well, I also find that

I apologize if I said it because it's a real slight against zach efron because it suggests that there's no way in hell he could just be that good an actor unless it was he's a full method he's a phenomenal actor it's bloody good that baywatch film man high hopes for it when's it coming out is it next year this year uh next year probably next year he's coming out long lead publicity on the shit he's coming out is it next year or this year probably next year probably next year they do a long lead publicity on this shit these guys eh he's doing a movie with

Adam from Workaholics really yeah that's awesome and also Aubrey Plaza

and someone else who's really good I'm thrilled to hear about that cast. It always looks like a Wedding Crashers type reboot. Nice. Where they're kind of fuck-up brothers, and they've got to bring classy dates to a wedding

because they always come and get too wild at the wedding. I could see Zac Efron picking up the mantle of Vince Vaughn, in a way. He's better than him, I think. Nah. Nah. Nah. Zac Efron's too like... Vince Vaughn's got an edge. That's true, but...

Oh, yeah, and he kind of... Even in Swingers, he has that. Oh, yeah. He's young in that. Yeah, he's especially good in that. He wrote that, eh? He was made. Jon Favreau wrote it.

Oh, not with Vince Vaughn? Did I imagine that? I think you imagined that. Oh, okay. I could be wrong, though. I saw the Jungle Book. Oh, hasn't that John Favreau done well there? Hasn't he done well?

Well, this is what we can expect for the next 50 weeks. Us flitting around different movies, trying our darndest not to constantly be zoned in on Zicoli. The other thing I wanted to say about Jarhead, which is why I don't really like him, is he's always quoting bizarre statistics. And I don't really care for that sort of thing. In the car, he says, at the start of the movie,

when they're driving around, flyering a fucking electronic music night on a Thursday in the the valley with the energy like they're like on top of the world it's good energy i guess it's good hustle uh but he says to he says to the car like he's preaching like a sermon 99 of people in the party. You need to be that. Wise words, man. I know he's using math to get there, but it's an important point. Nah.

That doesn't make any sense. What do you mean? 99% of people are looking for a party. Oh, that's true. Absolutely not. He's kind of taken as a base assumption that 100% of people are involved in the party, which is not true. I've been to parties. Not everyone's there.

Yeah, absolutely not. It would be madness if they all were. I guess it's like that old saying, you know, never let the truth get in the way of a good story. But at some point you've got to reconcile the fact that a more truthful reading of it would be, yo, 0.017% of people are looking for a party, but 0.0003% of people are the party. You want to be that.

It doesn't quite have the same ring to it, eh? Well, it's not as powerful, but it's the accuracy which I would appreciate. And that would probably help me get more on board with the character and be like, well, this guy, obviously he's got big hopes to be a motivational speaker, but he's got a long ways to go. I sure hope he develops this skill over the course of the movie. This is the thing about this fucking podcast.

You're damned if you don't, damned if you don't. If you had gone with the accurate statistic, we would have bloody riled you about that. There's no winning. Nah, if it were the actual statistic i would identify with him i would tell you when you say who are you in the movie i would say do you know what i'd say i'd say this i'm jarhead i'm miranda i'm david spade i would have a whole different through line for myself right you've retrofitted yourself back into the films in different positions yeah informed by your new role in this film but dig it it wanted to be that johnny depp though he's all good no he's not man there's a darkness there and he's one of those

characters where we know just enough about him um to kind of get a sense of what he's all about and his motivations but then they don't give you any any more to be him to kind of get a sense of what he's all about and his motivations, but then they don't give you any, any more to be able to kind of resolve the character and put goodness in him. So what do we know? We know he's a drug dealer. We know he loves making money and we know that he's, he doesn't have the best ethical scruples because in that real estate company where he's just ripping off old greenies who are being foreclosed on,

he's fucking on board. He loves it. He's the one who got those boys that job. So he's just ripping off old greenies who are being foreclosed on he's fucking on board he loves it he's the one who got those boys that job so he's a bad man and you know what it should have been he died no because it's not sympathetic enough if he died if you think he's a bad man you wouldn't care if he died everyone likes squirrel it's funny i don't know if that's true. Yeah, it is true. Remember, they gave him the funny bit. I only heard it for the first time this week. After their first night out, when everyone winds up having sex, except Zac Efron, who takes PCP and goes and has a fucking wild time.

The next day, when they're all at the desert, getting paid their minimum amount of cash in an envelope, even though, like you pointed out, they all live together, but they still have to go and sort all their money stuff out in the fucking desert. It's cooler that way. Squirrel's doing like a sort of an off mic monologue while they wait for the action to start. And he's talking about Sophie did these crazy, what was her name? Sarah.

Sarah. Sophie's the main squeeze for Zach Zaccoli. And Sarah is Squirrel's love on the first night. Yeah. Sophie's the main squeeze for Zach Zoccoli. And Sarah is Squirrel's love on the first night. Yeah. He's just riffing and he says crazy things. Yeah, unspeakable acts. It's quite good.

Because you get a flash of her and there's kind of like a you know, I forget what it's called. A montage. Yeah. It all cuts between them of them getting their fuck on. These fuck boys doing what they do best. Being boys and fucking because they're fuck boys. And when we see him hooking up with Sarah, she's like,

where are those nuts, squirrel? I want to see those nuts. It isn't winter yet. That fucking got me this time. Hey, did you say what you were shining like was? Yeah, it was uh whatever led to zach efron dropping a home or cole sorry dropping a homophobic joke and bombing and then getting real upset about it that was my shining light we're on different paths for what a shining

light is and we have been for so long it's what i enjoy the most in the movie fine fine hey we're gonna wrap it up there though bruh that's cool's cool with me, man. I don't want to talk to you anymore either. That's the end. So, look, we'll see you guys soon. And thanks for listening. And thank you to BigPipe for supporting us. And thank you to the absolute madman

on Reddit, FloralCunt, who made a piece of art which is of me, and it really stings the nostrils. In a good way. In a good way. Very positive.

See you later, friends. Yeah, we'll catch you. Ow! Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom because we are you gonna play that dastardly intro again Thank you.